Please don't hurt 'em Hammer
February 27, 2012 2:40 PM   Subscribe

The making of Please Hammer, Don't Hurt 'Em, and Part II.

Don't expect any revelations but some great period footage including Oaklanders freestyling and staff chatting about Hammer.
posted by latkes (22 comments total) 3 users marked this as a favorite

 
There's a lot of chutzpah in starting your behind-the-scenes video with footage of other rappers dissing you. I love it.
posted by beaucoupkevin at 2:42 PM on February 27, 2012 [1 favorite]


Spoiler Alert: After much diplomacy and several closed-door meetings, Hammer reluctantly agrees - with certain conditions - not to hurt 'em.
posted by The World Famous at 2:56 PM on February 27, 2012 [19 favorites]


Contrary to his initial claims, however, it may actually be possible to touch this, under certain circumstances.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:58 PM on February 27, 2012 [8 favorites]


Contrary to his initial claims, however, it may actually be possible to touch this, under certain circumstances.

It seemed clear to me at the time that he was merely imprecise in his use of "can't" as opposed to the more correct "may not."
posted by The World Famous at 3:00 PM on February 27, 2012


Proper
posted by Flashman at 3:01 PM on February 27, 2012 [2 favorites]


No, he was indeed indicating the stark impossibility of being able to touch that. Permissibility wouldn't be a factor.
posted by Burhanistan at 3:03 PM on February 27, 2012 [3 favorites]


Since he seems to have quit the rap game some time ago, are there now questions about his legitimacy?
posted by Golfhaus at 3:04 PM on February 27, 2012 [8 favorites]


Let's see the birth certificate, Hammer!
posted by cmoj at 3:11 PM on February 27, 2012


Bit of lore off Hammer's wikipedia page:

Reggie Jackson, in describing Burrell's role for Finley, took credit for his nickname:

Hell, our chief executive, the guy that ran our team, uh, that communicated [with] Charlie Finley, the top man there, was a 13-year old kid. I nicknamed him "Hammer," because he looked like Hank Aaron.[19]

posted by bukvich at 3:23 PM on February 27, 2012


Since he seems to have quit the rap game some time ago, are there now questions about his legitimacy?

His legitimacy has remained constant, but the requirements for quitting were changed by administrative action several years ago to accommodate those with elevated legitimacy levels.
posted by The World Famous at 3:37 PM on February 27, 2012 [2 favorites]


My favourite Hammer moment will always be his appearance in SNL's "Bad Hair Support Group" sketch, full as it was of people with hilariously bad hair and moderated by a nicely styled Julia Sweeney. Hammer insisted there was absolutely nothing wrong with his hair, and the other group members nodded sagely at each other and said, "Oh, he's in denial!"
posted by orange swan at 3:56 PM on February 27, 2012 [1 favorite]




After a 20-year probationary period, for objectiviy, it is finally clear that MC Hammer is the one person in the world who is less interesting to me than Vanilla Ice.
posted by herbplarfegan at 4:12 PM on February 27, 2012


Since he seems to have quit the rap game some time ago, are there now questions about his legitimacy?

I believe that while questions have been raised on several fronts about his claims of a mind to rhyme, the authenticity of his two hype feet has been established beyond any reasonable doubt.
posted by gompa at 4:22 PM on February 27, 2012 [1 favorite]


In related news, since becoming internationally known, Rob Base now wants to rock at some future date, subject to execution of a written agreement to certain terms, including, but not limited to, both monetary compensation and provision of suitable accommodations, supplies, food and beverages, and a bowl of blue M&M's.
posted by The World Famous at 4:40 PM on February 27, 2012


Meanwhile, The Other Hammer tries not to hurt his envious rival prog keyboardists.
posted by ovvl at 4:54 PM on February 27, 2012


meh...I'm waiting for the making of The Funky Headhunter

...pumps and a bump...
posted by Hypnotic Chick at 7:05 PM on February 27, 2012


Hammer's legitimacy was never in dispute until he decided to not be himself anymore. If you truly want to see an ouroboros in action, go back and watch some of his videos from '90 to '94. You couldn't ask for a more perfect example of not 'keeping it real'. The delicious irony was his exceedingly exacerbating claims of how he was specifically 'keeping it real'.
If he had just kept with his persona that he had built up over the late '80s through the early '90s, he probably would have continued on and would have transitioned into a completely different entertainer. Unfortunately, that was cut short because of his own pride and need to present something that everyone knew was false.
posted by P.o.B. at 9:38 PM on February 27, 2012 [1 favorite]


After a 20-year probationary period, for objectiviy, it is finally clear that MC Hammer is the one person in the world who is less interesting to me than Vanilla Ice

It's funny, a few years ago I caught a 'where are they know?' type special on Vanilla Ice, and he's living this quiet family life after investing most of his recording career money. On the one hand, sure it's pretty boring, but I also came away surprised at the amount of respect I felt for him. It must have been damn tempting at the time to blow it all on fancy cars, girls and drugs.
posted by mannequito at 11:35 PM on February 27, 2012


My grandmother got me the "Please Hammer, Don't Hurt Em" tape for my eighth birthday. That's right - eighth. I wasn't even interested in pop music at all, preferring to focus mainly on Beethoven and Glenn Miller and the West Side Story soundtrack (I was very cool). But I figured if Nana got it for me, it must be good. And it was. Especially for my parents, who got to enjoy seeing a chubby, southern, white kid dancing in improvised parachute pants every day after school for several months.

I sure hope the camcorder stayed in its case during that time.
posted by robstercraw at 7:34 AM on February 28, 2012 [1 favorite]


Hammer could've just kept being himself, the pop-rap entertainer/pitchman/impresario/whatnot (the closest modern analog might be Will.i.am), but instead he felt like the audience wanted him to pretend to be a gangster (this may have been exacerbated by the contempt he received from Native Tongues, MC Serch and other would-be arbiters of hip-hop purity). And while you can pretend to be a lot of things in hip-hop (a cowboy, a kung-fu master, a high-school student, the cast of 'The Wizard of Oz'), you can't pretend to be a gangster (well, there are occasional exceptions). Because, as they say, streets is watchin', and there ain't no such thing as halfway crooks. Hammer is a bigger illustration of the dangers of keeping it real than that dude in the Chappelle sketch.

All that said, though--you know how hair-metal guys blame Nirvana? I bet Hammer blames Dre and Snoop.
posted by box at 8:11 AM on February 28, 2012


> I bet Hammer blames Dre and Snoop.

I think Hammer's on record for blaming himself for having a massive entourage, buying little league baseball stadiums on a whim, and generally spending his money as if he had an infinite supply.
posted by Burhanistan at 8:17 AM on February 28, 2012


« Older .   |   MS subsidiary promoting pirated ebooks. Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments