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With him, it will be safe
February 28, 2012 9:36 AM   Subscribe


 
So... Putin will deflower Russia?
posted by charred husk at 9:44 AM on February 28, 2012


Pull my lever, baby.
posted by maryr at 9:46 AM on February 28, 2012


Drink Putin Flavor Aid. Now in new Cherry flavor!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:48 AM on February 28, 2012 [1 favorite]


He doesn't put out - but he does Putin.

(I don't even really)

(drops mic)

(feedback)
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 9:49 AM on February 28, 2012 [28 favorites]


An eponymous liquid was coined, and there was much surging from behind.
posted by obscurator at 9:51 AM on February 28, 2012


I am increasingly worried that Putin is what happens when Victor Van Doom wants you to like him.
posted by The Whelk at 9:56 AM on February 28, 2012 [12 favorites]


Is he catering to the virgin vote or to the guys who wish they were attractive to virgins vote?
posted by zippy at 9:58 AM on February 28, 2012 [4 favorites]


Yes.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 9:59 AM on February 28, 2012


I wonder how much it would cost me to get my mug glued onto tarot cards and distributed to Russian fortune tellers with the objective of tricking hot young Russians into sleeping with me. I bet not that much. I suspect it would be a remarkably affordable way to score with girls that favour very severe bangs.
posted by Keith Talent at 10:00 AM on February 28, 2012 [1 favorite]


"Ivan, why are these ballots all sticky?"
"No idea."
"I mean, it's kinda gross."
"We'll wash the machines down with the vodka."
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 10:00 AM on February 28, 2012


I secretly want Vladimir Putin to burst in, hold me down, and just take my civil liberties.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 10:05 AM on February 28, 2012 [14 favorites]


I secretly want Vladimir Putin to burst in, hold me down, and just take my civil liberties.

Ssh, you're posting with your out-loud voice again!
posted by zippy at 10:17 AM on February 28, 2012 [8 favorites]


I'm waiting for the inevitable curiously wel lit and cherographed Putin sex tape where he manages to satisfy an entire ballerina squad.
posted by The Whelk at 10:21 AM on February 28, 2012 [1 favorite]


The medium's plasma ball is a nice touch. Although I think the electrostatic field might make the spirits itchy.
posted by bitmage at 10:31 AM on February 28, 2012


He doesn't put out - but he does Putin.

We don't wanna put in, a negative mood is killing the groove
posted by Copronymus at 10:32 AM on February 28, 2012 [1 favorite]


In Soviet Russia, civil liberties take Putin.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 10:32 AM on February 28, 2012


*titters behind hand over lower half of the face*
posted by infini at 11:22 AM on February 28, 2012 [1 favorite]


The medium's plasma ball is a nice touch.

The whole thing is nicely produced. Very professional. It is almost as if Putin really needs to appeal to voters in a positive way.

Lenin starved his opponents, Stalin shot them, but Putin - the wimp - uses television advertising.
posted by three blind mice at 11:33 AM on February 28, 2012


"Like a virgin, polled for the very first time...."
posted by GenjiandProust at 11:43 AM on February 28, 2012 [4 favorites]


"Hey, did somebody here order a twelve-inch poisoned umbrella?"
posted by steambadger at 12:26 PM on February 28, 2012 [2 favorites]


"Ew." "Seriously?" "So Gross" Yep, that about covers it.


I still maintain that he looks like a Bond Film Main Henchman.
(Just plain doesn't look smart enough to be the Villain.)
posted by djrock3k at 12:31 PM on February 28, 2012


I still maintain that he looks like a Bond Film Main Henchman.
Have you seen the new Bond films? He stars as Bond.
posted by b1tr0t at 1:13 PM on February 28, 2012


Last year, the site adme.ru asked its users to submit alternative slogans for well-known Russian brands. Here is a selection:

National Mail Service ("Почта России") — Lots of you, just one of me.
National Savings Bank ("Сбербанк") — Always a line!
Gazprom — Keep dreaming!
Russian Railroads ("РЖД") — Go to hell!
McDonald's — Neither fish nor fowl.
Moscow Metro — Bringing people together.
Instant meals Доширак — Now with pictures!
"Vizit"-brand condoms — Break through!
posted by Nomyte at 3:49 PM on February 28, 2012 [1 favorite]


Putin in a dress with a Dame Judy voiceover about women's rights.

Naw.

Quizzically, Craig, an actor, seems more real than Putin...
posted by djrock3k at 3:51 PM on February 28, 2012




Putin's team have demonstrated their knack for propaganda previously, with the music video "A Man Like Putin." Similar strong-man message, but in this one Putin actually appears as a James Bond (or Bond villain?) figure. This dates to before 2008, so watch for the part where he covers the phone receiver and mouths "Bush" (or BOOOSH, in Russian) to the thug he's sitting with (can someone identify if that's Medvedev?)
posted by gusandrews at 8:12 PM on February 28, 2012


Not Medvedev, not even a little bit.

Related: Vova rules! Features Putin thwarting 007, dueling with Snape, fighting Vader, Putin as Ahnuld in Commando, etc.
posted by Nomyte at 9:02 PM on February 28, 2012


Putin on the ritz.
posted by Burhanistan at 7:48 PM on March 2, 2012








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