Has anyone seen or heard from Dick Cheney in a while?

October 11, 2001 8:18 AM

Has anyone seen or heard from Dick Cheney in a while? Follow the link and go about 1/3 of the way down to find this part:

In Washington, Vice President Dick Cheney has remained at a secure, undisclosed location away from the White House, two administration officials told CNN. He had been scheduled to swear in Tom Ridge Monday as the new director of homeland security; Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas stepped in to deliver the oath instead.

Yes, I know you want the backup man protected, but does it also require that he not make a single appearance or statement? So, what's up with Cheney?
posted by Qubit (50 comments total)

Simple...he's already dead. I see a ...what the hell was that Kevin Kline/Sigourney Weaver movie called? Jack? scenario....I'm waiting for the look-a-like to make a few appearances.
posted by taumeson at 8:22 AM on October 11, 2001

Taumeson: "Dave"
posted by allaboutgeorge at 8:24 AM on October 11, 2001

Shhh.....
Don't ruin it for the rest of us...
posted by MiguelCardoso at 8:25 AM on October 11, 2001

I suspect his extensive health problems are causing him trouble and he's receiving treatment. I'm skeptical that he's actually dead though. What good does it serve to delay the inevitable announcement of his demise?
posted by fleener at 8:26 AM on October 11, 2001

Well, I don't think it would do much good, but I can understand why the gov would do it.

Telling a nation that we lost WTC, the pentagon is damaged, the white house might have been a target, anthrax might have been used as a weapon in Florida, *and* the VP is dead might have been too much.

There's only so much we can take, right? ;)

I think he's just being very careful to not appear to be running the show. For the first time, Bush actually appears to be doing more than his VP.
posted by jragon at 8:30 AM on October 11, 2001

Speaking of disappearing vice presidents ...
posted by allaboutgeorge at 8:31 AM on October 11, 2001

I think they are simply downplaying Cheney's role as a leader behind the scenes, and beefing up the perception of Bush as being the #1 guy in charge.
posted by Dirjy at 8:34 AM on October 11, 2001

Welll, I checked IsDickCheneyDeadYet.com and they say he's still alive. But if they're wrong, can't they at least just prop him up in front of the camera once in awhile, like in "Weekend At Bernie's"?
posted by spilon at 8:36 AM on October 11, 2001

weekend at dicky's?
posted by mich9139 at 8:40 AM on October 11, 2001

There were rumors circulating on Sep 9,10th that Cheney was going to step down for health reasons. Supposedly these rumors came from Ridge aides who was to be tapped for VP. It's interesting to note that in his current role he has a much more visible national presence now. Perhaps Cheney is going to stick it out as long as he can.
posted by revbrian at 8:43 AM on October 11, 2001

Well, if you examine the cover of Abby Road, Cheney is the only one dressed in black and he has bare feet. Also, if you look carefully at the license plate of the car in the background...
posted by bondcliff at 8:47 AM on October 11, 2001

Dick's going to stick it out?

A joke I heard the other day: "Mr. Cheney, you had best remember who the President is, or you can spend another month at a 'secure, undisclosed location.'"
posted by kindall at 8:52 AM on October 11, 2001

If you look closely at the Osama poster, I think he's in the upper left hand corner. With a Kalishnakov. Ha! I should have posted that on the front page.
posted by luser at 8:56 AM on October 11, 2001

USA Today says Dick's just fine: article
posted by jbunch at 8:59 AM on October 11, 2001

Glory be to the Lord, blessed are the pacemakers.
posted by MiguelCardoso at 9:05 AM on October 11, 2001

Great... an article filled with quotes from the vested interests.

I want to see some links to the rumors that revbrian is referencing. Because if that's true -- that there were pre-911 rumors brewing -- then we have some great watercooler discussions brewing.
posted by silusGROK at 9:28 AM on October 11, 2001

I think it's pretty interesting that anyone cares where Cheney is at the moment. He has got to be the most public VP ever. No one cared what Gore or Bush were up to and, God knows, we wanted to forget about Quayle!

Any Presidential historians around to give a little perspective?
posted by awcole72 at 9:31 AM on October 11, 2001

I think it's pretty interesting that anyone cares where Cheney is at the moment. He has got to be the most public VP ever. No one cared what Gore or Bush were up to and, God knows, we wanted to forget about Quayle!

Any Presidential historians around to give a little perspective?
posted by awcole72 at 9:32 AM on October 11, 2001

Cheney Heart Watch has lost Cheney's EKG signal due to the Vice President's secure location....so instead, they now broadcast Bin Laden's EKG.
posted by jennak at 9:37 AM on October 11, 2001

...beefing up the perception of Bush as being the #1 guy in charge.

Kinda like a decoy President.
posted by jpoulos at 9:43 AM on October 11, 2001

Geez, if heartwatch can zero in on Osama, why can't the CIA?
posted by jpoulos at 9:45 AM on October 11, 2001

Not only that, where are all the former vice presidents? Vice presidents are so redundent, why does anyone care until number 1 croaks? Do they have jobs that need doing?
posted by thirteen at 9:51 AM on October 11, 2001

I haven't heard a murmur.

(sorry, couldn't pass it up)
posted by jlachapell at 10:14 AM on October 11, 2001

According to U.S Navy doctors in Bethesda Dick Cheney has been reduced to a brain floating in a jar of alcohol with one eyball. Occasionally Clinton will visit him and blow cigarette smoke on the eyeball.
posted by archeopterix at 10:40 AM on October 11, 2001

From a CNN story:

When asked if the vice president would attend the [Thursday afternoon] cabinet meeting, Fleischer said, "As always, we'll let you know about his locations. He is in a secure location."

CNN was shown a copy of the seating chart for the Cabinet meeting and Cheney's name was not on it.

The vice president cannot attend the meeting via video conference, Fleischer said, because the Cabinet room does not contain such equipment.

"I'm sure he will be fully briefed on the events" if he does not attend, Fleischer said.
posted by muckster at 10:40 AM on October 11, 2001

i think that the VP probably died sometime Sunday, and that right now, they have him down at the local taxidermist's shop. they're gonna stuff him, install little mechanized mechanical things to move his limbs and an antenna to receive instructions from a RC device, and they'll parade him around for everyone to see whenever people start asking questions, much the way they did with Bill Rehnquist back in the '80s.
posted by tolkhan at 10:43 AM on October 11, 2001

The problem with making an appearance or a statement is that it has to be scheduled and accessible to at least some people. So unless you want the guy to send his statement on tape to CNN from some bunker, it would kinda defeat the whole point of having one person 100% protected.
posted by Witold at 10:44 AM on October 11, 2001

Funny, the USA Today article has no date on it. The URL does, but not the article.
posted by mmarcos at 10:44 AM on October 11, 2001

Well, if he is dead, I wish he would just be honest about it and tell us already.

Oh . . . wait.
posted by Outlawyr at 11:14 AM on October 11, 2001

Perhaps you guys are not taking this seriously enough. For more than a week I and some co-workers have been wondering where he is. I haven't seen or heard a peep from him, and I am really starting to wonder. He was not so invisible earlier -- Meet the Press and such shows. And now...just gone. Very strange.
posted by eas98 at 11:16 AM on October 11, 2001

The USA Today article cited about reports: He'll resurface Friday for an interview on PBS' NewsHour.

We'll see how good a job those Disney Imagineers have done!
posted by xiffix at 11:19 AM on October 11, 2001

Turn on CNN right now...the "Talkback Live" show stole our thread!! FWIW, they just released a pic of Vice President Cheney meeting with President Bush and other NSA team members earlier today.
posted by davidmsc at 12:15 PM on October 11, 2001

yeah, well, they have photos of Bigfoot and Nessie too.
posted by tolkhan at 12:18 PM on October 11, 2001

He is scheduled to appear in an interview with Jim Lehrer either tonight or tomorrow night on the News Hour. It isn't clear if the interview will be live or taped.
posted by melgx at 12:24 PM on October 11, 2001

I bet he now wears a red-and-white striped shirt, a woolen hat, and nerdier-than-ever eyeglasses.
posted by alumshubby at 12:52 PM on October 11, 2001

"Secure location"? DC Hooters.
posted by UncleFes at 1:10 PM on October 11, 2001

"Secure location"? DC Hooters.
posted by UncleFes at 1:11 PM on October 11, 2001

He went twice. (sorry)
posted by UncleFes at 1:14 PM on October 11, 2001

he's been staying with me, sleeping on my couch, and watching my taped episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer (he thinks Willow's hot). i can tell you, he's not a bad roommate, except that he's always bumming cigarettes off of me and he leaves his socks and underwear all over the place. it really makes me wonder what he's doing all day while i'm at work.
posted by tolkhan at 1:16 PM on October 11, 2001

Plus those times where he grabs his left arm & starts convulsing on the couch.. & then you get all worried & he pops up & says "Just kidding, dude." Man, that totally pisses me off.
posted by zempf at 1:45 PM on October 11, 2001

Perhaps you guys are not taking this seriously enough

What, nobody else can close out the register in the gift shop?

(Apologies to the stand-up comic that I riffed that line off of)
posted by ethmar at 1:55 PM on October 11, 2001

yeah, sometimes he can be an ass, but always has the best weed.
posted by tolkhan at 1:56 PM on October 11, 2001

It isn't clear if the interview will be live or taped.

I'm picturing one of those Conan O'Brien bits...where someone else's mouth is superimposed on a still picture.
posted by jpoulos at 1:56 PM on October 11, 2001

It's now posted on the PBS NewsHour site .
posted by melgx at 3:52 PM on October 11, 2001

He is NOT being taxidermied. He had a legitimate operation to try to get the non-talking side of his mouth working again. Things went horribly wrong and now his mouth extends all the way around his head. Now whenever we do bong hits together I have to hold a plastic bag over his head.... Lynne hates that.
posted by archeopterix at 4:35 PM on October 11, 2001

I believe he's having high-level discussions with Andropov and Chernenko about Russian involvement.
posted by gojomo at 4:43 PM on October 11, 2001

The vice president cannot attend the meeting via video conference, Fleischer said, because the Cabinet room does not contain such equipment.

::: checks his watch to see what century we are in :::
posted by rushmc at 5:36 PM on October 11, 2001

man, i think he dropped dead when he heard about the WTC, because for that first week, all we saw was a still picture (what?) of cheney with condaleeza rice.

and then he did that interview on meet the press, but i think it was like in dave (mentioned above) when they had a guy who looked like cheney talking. but he hasn't been on again because he doesn't look EXACTLY like cheney, and they don't want people to get freaked out by "minute differences" in their faces.

i've been thinking about this a lot. you can probably tell.
posted by sugarfish at 7:54 PM on October 11, 2001

At some point he returned and was at the White House on Sunday when the United States began bombing Afghanistan, but he slipped away soon afterward.

The USA Today story that says he's fine also, in an aside, points out that he's slipped away. Which is it?
posted by LeLiLo at 6:52 AM on October 12, 2001

Cheney Busy Behind the Scenes Cheney is scheduled to appear tonight {October 12} on PBS' "Newshour." His interview with Jim Lehrer, to be taped earlier in the day, will be his first major public appearance since he spoke on "Meet the Press" on Sept. 16.
posted by Carol Anne at 7:16 AM on October 12, 2001