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The idea, of course, is to let your attacker have the bag
March 5, 2012 11:33 AM   Subscribe

"A man wearing bowler hat reading a newspaper is seen leaning leisurely against a car. Another person comes from behind and starts hitting the poor man on the head with an iron bar. He does not react at all, still reads his paper. The third man appears looking puzzled. The man takes his hat of and shows it to the other two. They take the hat and examine it." Beat The Bandit, 1961 is a video (01:46) presentation of amazing security/anti-theft inventions that you'll surely feel compelled to buy.
posted by vidur (23 comments total) 12 users marked this as a favorite

 
I would like to meet this team of back-room boys and converse with them about their rigid telescopic arms.
posted by koeselitz at 11:43 AM on March 5, 2012 [3 favorites]


That is the perfect hat to wear while fighting Oddjob! The Irresistible Bowler vs the Immovable Bowler! Who would win?

Assuming he didn't just cut off your arm....
posted by GenjiandProust at 11:48 AM on March 5, 2012


Originally designed for a Mr. Steed of London...
posted by The Whelk at 11:52 AM on March 5, 2012 [2 favorites]


I would like to volunteer to test your hand-crushing anti-theft prototype.

I will sign a release before the test

as I will be unable to do so afterward.
posted by zippy at 11:53 AM on March 5, 2012 [5 favorites]


I prefer Bubbles' red hat trick
posted by holdkris99 at 11:55 AM on March 5, 2012 [2 favorites]


I look forward to their exciting new line of suppositories.
posted by davelog at 12:06 PM on March 5, 2012


I've seen cats employ that telescoping feature.
posted by orme at 12:14 PM on March 5, 2012 [2 favorites]


I would get so much more done if I had that "SMART PEOPLE BEING PRODUCTIVE" background music constantly playing wherever I go.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 12:29 PM on March 5, 2012 [4 favorites]


So nice to see some documentation of Q's days as an apprentice.
posted by maudlin at 12:31 PM on March 5, 2012 [4 favorites]


I'm reading all the comments here in the same stilted, 1960's TV announcer, tone that the voice over in the ad had.
posted by sotonohito at 12:44 PM on March 5, 2012


Brought to you by the same backroom brains who developed the Exploding Scone, the Despot-Proof Teapot, and the Reliant Robin. They'll never get away!
posted by obscurator at 12:56 PM on March 5, 2012


You can tell this promo was produced in a gentler age; a more current version would have the bag thief's accomplices being impaled on the spring-loaded arms.

Especially if it had been designed by an Australian college.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 1:01 PM on March 5, 2012


I've seen cats employ that telescoping feature.

All I could think is that one of the designers had, at some point, tried to give a cat a bath.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 1:03 PM on March 5, 2012 [4 favorites]


Reminds me of a line in Friends where Chandler says something like 'wait a minute, don't we need a backup plan, just in case we're not actually cartoon characters?'
posted by colie at 1:11 PM on March 5, 2012 [1 favorite]


+1 for use of phrase "back room boys"
-1 for failure to refer to them as "boffins."
posted by yoink at 1:21 PM on March 5, 2012 [2 favorites]


"Oh, don't be an idiot, 007. I know exactly what you're up to, and quite frankly, you're going to need my help. Remember, if it hadn't been for Q Branch, you'd have been dead long ago. [opens a case] Everything for a man on holiday. Explosive alarm clock - guaranteed never to wake up anyone who uses it. Dentonite toothpaste - to be used sparingly, the latest in plastic explosive."
posted by crunchland at 1:36 PM on March 5, 2012


All I could think is that one of the designers had, at some point, tried to give a cat a bath.

something tells me that they would have solved that problem by clamping the cat's feet to a brick.
posted by kuujjuarapik at 1:38 PM on March 5, 2012


This is why I carry all my money in my cat.
posted by zippy at 1:48 PM on March 5, 2012 [6 favorites]


koeselitz: I would like to meet this team of back-room boys and converse with them about their rigid telescopic arms.

Who wouldn't!?!

yoink: +1 for use of phrase "back room boys"
-1 for failure to refer to them as "boffins."


Boffins? Boffins....

I... I thought koeselitz was talking about something else. Never mind.

It's a mistake anyone could make.
posted by GenjiandProust at 3:22 PM on March 5, 2012 [2 favorites]


This is why I carry all my money in my cat.

007, you'll need this. It looks like a harmless pen, but it's actually a highly sophisticated five milliwatt visible light laser pointer.
posted by sebastienbailard at 6:18 PM on March 5, 2012


That indestructible bowler would go just spiffy with my microscopic-ricin-laden-pellet-shooting umbrella.
posted by Halloween Jack at 6:37 PM on March 5, 2012


Incidentally, while the bowler is quintessentially British, it is also considered (I learnt recently) to be the hat that won the American West since it was the most popular headware at the time for a variety of reasons.

And that briefcase is fantastic.
posted by NailsTheCat at 8:36 PM on March 5, 2012


But you're not helping Leon...
posted by Trochanter at 8:06 AM on March 6, 2012


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