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March 11, 2012 7:48 AM   Subscribe

Need a spouse or uncooperative business associate taken care of? Have no fear! HitmanForHire.net is here.
posted by reenum (26 comments total) 4 users marked this as a favorite

 
What happens when the hitperson* falls in love with your spouse or uncooperative business associate? Do you get a refund, or is it considered a successful job?

* Sure, most hitpeople may be male today, but should we really be discouraging bright young women from entering this exciting profession?
posted by b1tr0t at 7:51 AM on March 11, 2012


Sure, most hitpeople may be male today, but should we really be discouraging bright young women from entering this exciting profession?

Maybe hitwomen are just smart enough not to be caught.
posted by Philosopher Dirtbike at 8:04 AM on March 11, 2012


Well, if there was going to be a female associate, it would be HitPERSON for Hire now, wouldn't it?
posted by Samizdata at 8:06 AM on March 11, 2012


The various news blurbs made it sound like he got caught because of the blatant website, but really, it was because he tried to blackmail the victims instead of killing them.
posted by 445supermag at 8:08 AM on March 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


Yes.

oh, wait, that was a rhetorical question, wasn't it?
posted by HuronBob at 8:10 AM on March 11, 2012


Neckties...
Cyanide...
High voltage....
Done dirt cheap.
posted by GallonOfAlan at 8:23 AM on March 11, 2012 [4 favorites]


Wait, am I missing something? What happened to the ricin in the lens case?
posted by triggerfinger at 8:26 AM on March 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


So...Where would one go to really find a real hitman(person)?

Just wonderin'.



For a...um...


...friend.
posted by Thorzdad at 8:30 AM on March 11, 2012


Seems legit, Thorzdad.
posted by Talez at 8:32 AM on March 11, 2012


I can provide 100% organic, boutique, locally sourced small batch killings for sustainable murder for hire.
posted by The Whelk at 8:51 AM on March 11, 2012 [2 favorites]


craigslist
posted by LogicalDash at 8:57 AM on March 11, 2012


For an extra fee I will feed the body to my wild, free range, organic mushrooms. Which you can then cook into a nice victory risotto.
posted by Pink Fuzzy Bunny at 8:57 AM on March 11, 2012


So...Where would one go to really find a real hitman(person)?


The way most inquiries of the type seem to be resolved, you can save a lot of time by putting the question to the nice people who answer the telephone at number 911.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 9:05 AM on March 11, 2012


The Hit Man and Her... er, wait, I think I might have misunderstood this FPP.
posted by marienbad at 9:22 AM on March 11, 2012


Previously...?
posted by nobody at 9:42 AM on March 11, 2012


If the site had lasted, its IPO would've been bigger than Facebook's.
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:50 AM on March 11, 2012


This story reads like an angeliajolie movie.

More better: DIY.
posted by mule98J at 9:55 AM on March 11, 2012


Jeezus, it was real?

I came across the site in question a few years ago and although it seemed genuine, I thought to myself that no one would be so blase about something like that and chalked it up as a joke.
posted by DuchessProzac at 11:53 AM on March 11, 2012


I inferred that the site was intended as a joke, but some people took it seriously enough that this fellow got away with blackmail using the site. Did he actually run the site? I wasn't clear on that.
posted by LogicalDash at 12:21 PM on March 11, 2012


Previously...?

Also previously...
posted by PeterMcDermott at 12:48 PM on March 11, 2012


There was almost certainly no actual ricin in the lens case. The recipe they referred to won't actually create any ricin.
posted by empath at 1:10 PM on March 11, 2012


The article said there was ricin!

Then there were the lab results that came back from the lens case: It tested positive for traces of ricin.

This detail will drive me nuts.
posted by triggerfinger at 4:07 PM on March 11, 2012


They probably detect some castor oil byproducts, but there's zero chance there was ever any ricin. Certainly not enough to kill anyone.

Don't trust a journalist's description of a report when he has no expertise. See Peedro's links here.
posted by empath at 4:29 PM on March 11, 2012


Metafilter: how much ricin in a plate of castor beans?
posted by b1tr0t at 5:03 PM on March 11, 2012


They should have left the site up. Best honeypot ever.
posted by maryr at 8:23 PM on March 11, 2012


I inferred that the site was intended as a joke, but some people took it seriously enough that this fellow got away with blackmail using the site.

This seems like it would make a good novel ala Dortmunder.
posted by hattifattener at 3:36 AM on March 13, 2012


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