More peace protest nonsense.
October 12, 2001 7:51 AM   Subscribe

More peace protest nonsense. Tips on what to do should you suddenly stumble upon a peace protest can be found atop this thread.
posted by darren (69 comments total)
 
What to do if you happen upon a peace rally by stupid naive hemp-shirt-wearing college idiots, to teach them why force is sometimes needed:

1) Approach dumb rich ignorant student talking about "peace" and saying there should be, "no retaliation" against terrorists.

2) Engage in brief conversation, ask if military force is appropriate.

3) When he says "No," ask, "Why not?"

4) Wait until he says something to the effect of, "Because that would just cause more innocent deaths, which would be awful and we should not cause more violence."

5) When he's in mid sentence, punch him in the face as hard as you can.

6) When he gets back up to up to punch you, point out that it would be a mistake and contrary to his values to strike you, because that would, "be awful and he should not cause more violence."

7) Wait until he agrees that he has pledged not to commit additional violence.

8) Punch him in the face again, harder this time.

Repeat steps 5 through 8 until they understand that sometimes it is necessary to punch back.
posted by darren at 7:52 AM on October 12, 2001


or call the cops and have you arrested.
posted by nprigoda at 8:01 AM on October 12, 2001


Your deeply mature, well thought our response warms the cockles of my heart. While your at it, why don't you beat your wife as well.
posted by bob bisquick at 8:03 AM on October 12, 2001


Perhaps this is the solution.
posted by darren at 8:04 AM on October 12, 2001


Then the police handcuff Darren and take him in for the first of many nights having his cheeks enthusiastically turned (inside out, etc.) in the local jail.
posted by pracowity at 8:04 AM on October 12, 2001


Thats great Darren. Punch people in the face for wanting peace. Brilliant.
posted by computerface at 8:04 AM on October 12, 2001


I sense a Darwin award approaching. Go on, Darren, do it for the genepool.
posted by boaz at 8:07 AM on October 12, 2001


You people amaze me. Darren, I got it, and I enjoyed it.
posted by techgnollogic at 8:08 AM on October 12, 2001


College students are overly idealistic. Give them a few years. they'll mellow. Or they will become college professors. Been there, done that.
posted by jbelshaw at 8:12 AM on October 12, 2001


Not quite the same... It'd be hypocritical if he'd come to your house that evening with a baseball bat and roughed up your family.
In your example, it's just self-defense (which makes sense (it rhymes so it must be true)).
posted by fvw at 8:12 AM on October 12, 2001


I wish I lived in a world as simple as yours, darren.
posted by andrew cooke at 8:13 AM on October 12, 2001


Sorry - real response...

What about America are we defending if we decry protests by people who don't agree with us. If we are defending a land where everyone must think the same act the same and not speak up, then... well... that seems like maybe a waste!
posted by bob bisquick at 8:13 AM on October 12, 2001


So ya figured, with all the talk about too many posts, and people only posting once a day, that this would really be worth it, huh?
posted by Doug at 8:13 AM on October 12, 2001


techgnollogic - could you share the joke with the rest of us then.....
posted by Markb at 8:13 AM on October 12, 2001


You people amaze me. Darren, I got it, and I enjoyed it.

I'm shocked how many don't.
posted by darren at 8:14 AM on October 12, 2001


hate to say it, but double post.
the 'how to cure a pacifist' 8 step program has been discussed. i am not going to waste server time searching for the thread now.
in fact, putting up a link in order to to diss it, has also been discussed yesterday.
posted by asok at 8:15 AM on October 12, 2001


Punching in the face is a bit harsh. A time-out (in Kabul) would be more instructive.
posted by groundhog at 8:17 AM on October 12, 2001


You people amaze me. Darren, I got it, and I enjoyed it.

Proving that college students don't always think realistically; getting your ass kicked proving that point sounds like you never got around to thinking realistically either.
posted by boaz at 8:23 AM on October 12, 2001


Oh I see, the joke is that you punch a pacifist and...oh...stop...you're killing me.....

I don't come to Metafilter to see crap that has been posted all over the web for the last couple of weeks.
Weak post, weak poster.
posted by Markb at 8:25 AM on October 12, 2001


Didn't you people get Darren's point - this is an ANALOGY. And if you say "call the cops," outside the context of the analogy, then who is that? Who are "the cops" that the US is going to call? What do they do when the terrorists resist arrest?

In the face of repeated violence, insipid peace or ghandi-like peace or whatever kind of peace you wish is exactlyl like taking repeated beatings from a bully. Whatcha gonna do? There are no cops to call, there is no mommy/daddy to go running to. It's just you and the bully.

Whatcha gonna do?
posted by yesster at 8:27 AM on October 12, 2001


here ya go asok. i sure hope this thread gets deleted.
posted by danOstuporStar at 8:28 AM on October 12, 2001


"Stupid naive dumb rich ignorant idiots." Darren, you forgot ugly, lazy, and disrespectful.
posted by dack at 8:29 AM on October 12, 2001


You people amaze me. Darren, I got it, and I enjoyed it.

I'm shocked how many don't.


Oh, yes, take the high road. Or, rather, manufacture a high road where none exists. You've got to be kidding.

What's to "get"? You post a generic "dumb students protest war" link that wouldn't pass muster even in unextraordinary times. Then you plagiarize an idiotic piece of spam as a way to worm the thread onto people's "recent comments" list.

You're an incredible asshole. And that's the first time I've been moved to say so in this forum. Well done.
posted by Skot at 8:30 AM on October 12, 2001


Bravo, Darren. Bravo.
posted by bondcliff at 8:33 AM on October 12, 2001


I got beat on by bullies when I was a little kid... I hit back, too. Did it solve anything? No... it got me a reputation in middle school for being a troublemaker and a idiot. No one respected me, and the only people that talked to me were the people who wanted to get into fights.

So, by high school, I learned not to fight back. I took my beatings in high school, and I moved on.

Note, I support U.S. military action to some degree, I'm just pointing out what an idiotic analogy this was. Thanks for the post, Darren. I'll be sure to skip over your posts in the future.

-chason
posted by chason at 8:35 AM on October 12, 2001


you forgot ugly, lazy, and disrespectful.

Shut up, bitch, and fix me a turkey pot pie!

Nice Breakfast Club quote, dack ;)
posted by terrapin at 8:35 AM on October 12, 2001


bravo Skot bravo (dammit why am i wasting comment space on this shit?)
posted by danOstuporStar at 8:35 AM on October 12, 2001


You could quote Samuel Adams...

"Contemplate the mangled bodies of your countrymen, and then ask yourself, 'What should be the reward of such sacrifices? Are we just to do nothing? To allow the men who have let loose on us the dogs of war to riot in our blood to hunt us from the face of the Earth?' I detest any submision to a people who have either ceased to be human, or have not the virtue enough to feel their own wretchedness.

If you love comfort better than liberty, the tranquility of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, [then] go from us in peace. We ask not your counsels or your arms. Crouch down and lick the hands of your master. May your chains sit lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that ye were our countrymen"
posted by revbrian at 8:36 AM on October 12, 2001


Violence works if you want to dominate someone, yes.
But who wants peace?
I do, and I am trying to figure out non-violent ways of acheiving it.
Just looking out for my grandchildren.
Analogies are just that. Analogies. Not real life.
posted by computerface at 8:36 AM on October 12, 2001


Pathetic. Comments like Darren's (not to mention unjust wars prosecuted by dubiously-elected leaders) are what make me ashamed to say I am an American. Just the...ignorance, really.
posted by mapalm at 8:44 AM on October 12, 2001


Mildly amusing post, but this is the 300th time I've read it. This thing has been making the email rounds for the last week.
posted by aaron at 8:47 AM on October 12, 2001


As Proud Mary said:

"Trollin', trollin', trollin' on the river..."
posted by ColdChef at 8:47 AM on October 12, 2001


yawn.
posted by holgate at 8:54 AM on October 12, 2001


Gah.

Has anyone spotted any good threads today yet? I can't face reading any more.
posted by walrus at 9:06 AM on October 12, 2001


Selected quotations from responses to the article:

"i reall want to go take a crap on these people right now".
"You are a bitch and a punk. I hope you get anal warts from your boyfriend you turd!"
"If I ever encounter Mister Zedrin on the street he has breathed his last breath."
"You, Leftist, are a waste of your daddy's sperm. Your momma should have swallowed and saved your family a lot of wasted education money, and me the time it took to write this, you worthles pile of crap."
"what a bunch of morons - these crybabies don't have any idea what they're saying or doing, they just need something to fill the emptyness in their heads. "
"... These babies should take their diapers off their bottoms and put on their heads."
"kill them all,let God decide."
"Pathetic, underdeveloped, simple minded little monkeys..."
posted by Hildago at 9:11 AM on October 12, 2001


It's like MetaFreeper Friday around here today. I wish I could buy everyone a drink and a backrub.
posted by nikzhowz at 9:15 AM on October 12, 2001


In the face of repeated violence, insipid peace or ghandi-like peace or whatever kind of peace you wish is exactlyl like taking repeated beatings from a bully. Whatcha gonna do? There are no cops to call, there is no mommy/daddy to go running to. It's just you and the bully.

Good point. However this war so far doesn't appear to be "punching back." So far our military accomplishments in this war have been to wipe out several terrorist camps that were abandoned before September 11th and temporarily disable already malfunctioning transportation and communications system. The bully hit us and hit us hard and our best response seems to be a flamming bag of dogshit delivered to the bully's next door neighbor. Meanwhile, our already fragile allies seem to become even more fragile as we do exactly what ben Ladan wants of us.

But there are lots of places where the analogy doesn't work. The obvious one is the issue of the false delimma. Either you punch back, or you do nothing. It doesn't require a very creative mind to think of about a half-dozen other options.

Even if you do subscribe to a philosophy that permits "punching back" as a viable response (And certainly as a pacifist, I will agree that "punching back" is sometimes necessary, but never to be engaged in with the moral smugness as implied by the analogy.) There are quite a few reasons why even hawks should be cautious about this war. Our allies in the region are fragile and both Pakistan and Indochina could easily go the way of the Russian Empire if we impose on them too much. The camps are only the tip of an iceberg for an underground movement in several countries. It's rather like trying to take out the Mafia. We seem to have a lack of available targets, a lack of strategy, a lack of solid support in the area and a lack of an exit plan.
posted by KirkJobSluder at 9:16 AM on October 12, 2001


"I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." Voltaire, it is said, felt this way, and I agree.

I remind all those protesting this protest to remember: THE USA IS FOUNDED ON THE IDEA THAT IT IS THEIR RIGHT TO PROTEST, just as much as it is anyone else's right to object. Never forget this.

While I completely reject the opinions of these students at Brown University, it is EXACTLY THIS that makes our country great -- our ABSOLUTE RIGHT to proclaim any opinion freely -- even completely misguided, outdated, reprehensible drivel. And despite hating their words, I would never tell them to shut up or go away. I simply ignore them. THAT IS WHAT AMERICA IS ALL ABOUT. And it is for this right that we are about to send our young men and women of the military into battle--for this right, and for all of the other freedoms we hold dear.

(Quote attributed, by writer François Marie Arouet, to Voltaire (1694–1778), French philosopher, author.)
posted by mooncrow at 9:20 AM on October 12, 2001


"I got beat on by bullies when I was a little kid... I hit back, too. Did it solve anything? No... it got me a reputation in middle school for being a troublemaker and a idiot. No one respected me, and the only people that talked to me were the people who wanted to get into fights."

I had my own bully problems in school and when i did stand up for myself I won a degree of respect and the right amount of fear. You can't reason with people who don't think. Violence has solved problems in the past, it has also caused them. Violence is pitbull great when used correctly. Its a pacifists right to protest, its our damn right to disagree.
posted by madmanz123 at 9:23 AM on October 12, 2001


when i did stand up for myself I won a degree of respect and the right amount of fear.

This is "fighting terror"?
posted by walrus at 9:28 AM on October 12, 2001


Same thing at Dartmouth


here.
posted by gdog at 9:29 AM on October 12, 2001


I am fervently anti-war. I believe that no good can come of it. So I just want to say that if someone came up to me at a protest and tried something like this, I would not hesitate to cause them as much pain and damage as necessary to ensure that they would not try it again--and then a little bit more than necessary, just to instill the fear. After the immediate physical danger was past, I would sort out the moral problems I would have with what I had done--to be effective, it would have had to be excessive--and consider whether the actions of an individual defending himself by striking directly against a clearly psychotic aggressor are comparable to the actions of a nation attempting to defend itself with a futile war in which innocents on both sides will surely die.

Then I'd call an ambulance so someone could clean up the asshole who attacked me. And then perhaps we could reason together.

(BTW, you do know that thing had already been posted here, right?)
posted by moss at 9:30 AM on October 12, 2001


no need to beat up pacifists or protestors. They have every right to their opinion. Unfortunately for them, it is a minority opinion, and this being a representative democracy, means that most likely they are going to be on the small end of the vote or voice or opinion poll on some issues.
posted by jbelshaw at 9:47 AM on October 12, 2001


However we might feel about the actions the US is taking, Darren's attitude is appallingly intolerant. It's self-indulgent, too. I may not be taking to the streets to protest this war myself, but I certainly respect the rights of others to do so.

How do you feel about censorship, Darren? If, for example, a TV show offends you, you turn it off, right? So if a peaceful protest offends you, why the hell can't you just walk away from it? Or are you one of those jackasses who likes to use force, legislation or any other means at hand to shove their particular opinions down people's throats?
posted by Fenriss at 9:50 AM on October 12, 2001


Tips on what to do should you suddenly stumble upon a rabid war-monger:

1. Tell them you love them.
2. Tell them you love America.
3. Tell them you believe in the Constitution.
4. Tell them you believe in mercy.
5. Tell them you believe in due process.
6. Tell them you believe in sovereignty.
7. Tell them you love life.
8. Tell them you hate death.
9. Tell them how your town was bombed.
10. Tell them how your friends died.
11. Tell them how you cried.
12. Tell them about your anger.
13. Tell them about your friends who listened.
14. Tell them how you love your friends.
15. Tell them how you volunteered.
16. Tell them how you worked 16 hours a day to feed other volunteers.
17. Tell them how your friend is homeless.
18. Tell them about the funerals.
19. Tell them about the missing on posters.
20. Tell them about the jobless.
21. Tell them about the empty shops and restaurants.
22. Tell them how it all hurts.
23. Ask them if they're hurting, too.
24. Ask them if they'd every want others to feel that way.
25. Ask them what we get if we win the war.
26. Ask them to demand more proof from their government.
27. Ask them to question their government's motives.
28. Ask them to seek justice, not revenge.
29. Ask them to change.
30. Ask them to ask their government to change.
posted by Mo Nickels at 10:00 AM on October 12, 2001


Tips on what to do should you suddenly stumble upon a rabid war-monger:

1. Tell them you love them.
2. Tell them you love America.
3. Tell them you believe in the Constitution.
4. Tell them you believe in mercy.
5. Tell them you believe in due process.
6. Tell them you believe in sovereignty.
7. Tell them you love life.
8. Tell them you hate death.
9. Tell them how your town was bombed.
10. Tell them how your friends died.
11. Tell them how you cried.
12. Tell them about your anger.
13. Tell them about your friends who listened.
14. Tell them how you love your friends.
15. Tell them how you volunteered.
16. Tell them how you worked 16 hours a day to feed other volunteers.
17. Tell them how your friend is homeless.
18. Tell them about the funerals.
19. Tell them about the missing on posters.
20. Tell them about the jobless.
21. Tell them about the empty shops and restaurants.
22. Tell them how it all hurts.
23. Ask them if they're hurting, too.
24. Ask them if they'd every want others to feel that way.
25. Ask them what we get if we win the war.
26. Ask them to demand more proof from their government.
27. Ask them to question their government's motives.
28. Ask them to seek justice, not revenge.
29. Ask them to change.
30. Ask them to ask their government to change.
posted by Mo Nickels at 10:01 AM on October 12, 2001


Damn, sorry about the double post. I got a posting error and didn't think it went through. I blame bin Laden.
posted by Mo Nickels at 10:03 AM on October 12, 2001


Damn, sorry about the double comment. I got a posting error and didn't think it went through. I blame bin Laden.
posted by Mo Nickels at 10:03 AM on October 12, 2001


Yeah, vote war!
posted by walrus at 10:28 AM on October 12, 2001


"This is "fighting terror"?"

Fighting terror is a silly phrase. The point is that leaders, or leader countries need a few different things to be successful. There are exceptions, but in general it goes something like Respect, Admiration, and a dash of cautious fear. Just the way it works for humanity in general.
posted by madmanz123 at 10:41 AM on October 12, 2001


I think that these protests are a good thing. It brings all appeasers together in one place so when the time is right it will be easier for us to shoot them.
posted by Wet Friday at 10:52 AM on October 12, 2001


madmanz123

it comes out better the second way you said it
posted by walrus at 11:03 AM on October 12, 2001


your house ever get bulldozed darren? bombed? you ever been bombed? you seem to like bombs. darren likes bombs. i'm glad you and the terrorists share the same logic. if only those kids at Brown were learned scholars like darren. they'd finally get it. right where they want it.
posted by aLienated at 11:09 AM on October 12, 2001


I think that these protests are a good thing. It brings all appeasers together in one place so when the time is right it will be easier for us to shoot them

MeTa'd (by me)
posted by boaz at 11:23 AM on October 12, 2001


OK, so they have a right to protest. And no one has a right to punch a protester. We all understand that; the rest is rhetoric.

I find it interesting that while the majority of Americans are startlingly in favor of Operation Enduring Freedom, they're also very, very self-conscious about the detractors. I'm sure that many of y'all will say it's because the hawks know, deep down in their hearts, that we need to Give Peace A Chance.

Personally, I think it's because they're scared to death of al Queda, and want to reclaim their security. This isn't Vietnam, because no one here in the good ole U.S. of A felt any direct threat from the enemy. They were so very far away.

But here we are, and there's anthrax in Florida and New York and who knows where else and what's coming next... so people like Darren are just plain old scared. And anti-war protesters represent a physical manifestation of that fear. Protesters somehow don't want the fear removed, so they become part of the fear. They must be eliminated, too.

It is a scary world. It's becoming clearer, but slowly. I remember what I felt on 9/11 and 9/12... and I'm embarrassed about it now. Soon we'll all see more clearly. Until then, we can just understand that so much rhetoric is just rhetoric.

So let's cut wittle Darren some slack.

Of course, posting something that's already been posted. That's just lame. We can mock him for that.
posted by terceiro at 11:25 AM on October 12, 2001


Go Mo!

That's the best fucking thing I've read on MeFi today. Thanks.
posted by ColdChef at 11:34 AM on October 12, 2001


matt must be out having a good time somewhere if this thread is still around.
I think ColdChef is onto something.
posted by nprigoda at 11:41 AM on October 12, 2001


But here we are, and there's anthrax in Florida and New York and who knows where else and what's coming next... so people like Darren are just plain old scared. And anti-war protesters represent a physical manifestation of that fear. Protesters somehow don't want the fear removed, so they become part of the fear. They must be eliminated, too.

Oh, the protesters certainly want for that fear to be removed. The protesters don't believe that bombing empty terrorist camps and dysfunctional airports in Afganistan is going to be a major step forward towards removing that fear. McNamara admitted that the air war in Vietnam was one of the best recruiting efforts the U.S. could make on behalf of the Viet Cong. It seems like we just forgot everything we learned in Viet Nam which is that arial warfare doesn't work if your opposition is already living in the stone age (or at least the pre-industrial age) and tends to make enemies among those who formerly couldn't give a shit.
posted by KirkJobSluder at 11:59 AM on October 12, 2001


OK, let's move it along people. Nothing more to see here.

*Strings yellow police scene tape around perimeter of thread*

This thread's been sealed.

Back on your heads!
posted by Kafkaesque at 12:28 PM on October 12, 2001


The most offensive aspect of "peace, no war" people is their conceit that those favoring war haven't considered the alternatives first. These people make me ill.
posted by ParisParamus at 1:27 PM on October 12, 2001


Hey! you!

*whacks ParisParamus with a nightstick*

Didn't I say this thread was sealed!?

Please, go on over to where it's safe.
posted by Kafkaesque at 2:00 PM on October 12, 2001


What the fuck? Once is a joke, twice is a disturbing pattern. You are not the MeFi cop, Kafkaesque. That guy's name is Matt.
posted by NortonDC at 2:10 PM on October 12, 2001


Norton.

I'm kidding.

yeesh.
posted by Kafkaesque at 2:15 PM on October 12, 2001


To Darren, WetFriday and anyone else who responds to peaceful protest with threats of war and violence:

You don't deserve a detailed intellectual reply, so I won't give one. I just wanted to make some record of my intense shock and disgust at the banal and quite puerile stupidity of your argument.
posted by skylar at 3:36 PM on October 12, 2001


Yeah, Darren, I get the joke too. It's old and easily debunked, however.

Here's what you do:

- After the first punch tell them you love them.
- After the second tell them you understand their pain.
- After the third tell them you want to help.
- After the fourth describe the effects of punching. Tell them how it is destroying your tissues, and that you'll soon be scarred for life.
- After the fifth help them punch you.
- After the sixth explain to them you feel for your attacker the same way you would feel for someone who kicks a defenseless dog. You feel pity.
- If they still won't quit, well, then it's time to peacefully lead them to the authorities. But only if the authorities in your area aren't planning to kill him (fortunately my country doesn't do that to the convicted).

So yeah, you may have guessed it, generally by the end of it they realize the monster they've become. A good non-violent person would take it upon themselves to help the disturbed individual as much as they can. They would understand that while the assailant may think they are attacking to aussage some intense anger they have, those outer thoughts are simply covering up whats really inside -- a cry for help. Their life has become so messed up they have been reduced to dealing with it like a wild animal. You can't get any lower than acting like that.

Someone has asked you to help them in the most intense fashion known. What will you do? Turn them away? Harm them for their cry for help?

I hope not. Hellen Keller wouldn't have stood a chance in a society full of people with the ideal of "strike, or be struck".

ParisParamus, if you find it offensive that when you decide to kill living beings you are so strongly questioned, I'm sorry. I will always question anyone who believes killing is the answer to no end. I'm saddend to see you would be willing to accept a killer's reasoning so easily.

Justified killing is still killing.

revbrian, I'd like to see the result of Samuel Adams and Gandhi meeting up. Would be quite interesting.
posted by shepd at 4:41 PM on October 12, 2001


Those violence loving war-mongers should be beaten bloody with bats!

Ugh.

It's an endless cycle here, war monger gives violent solution, peaceful protestor berates war monger.

We are stuck in a loop.
posted by dcgartn at 5:02 PM on October 12, 2001


goto 10
posted by quonsar at 5:10 PM on October 12, 2001


Dead Horse Beater's Union signup sheet:
Post your name below the line please.

posted by boaz at 5:14 PM on October 12, 2001


posted by boaz

Doh!
posted by boaz at 5:14 PM on October 12, 2001


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