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2012 just got R.Kelly-fied
March 21, 2012 9:50 AM   Subscribe

32 all new episodes of: Trapped. In. The. Closet. (The Alien is back and It has brought friends along.)
posted by 0bvious (36 comments total) 21 users marked this as a favorite

 
I love South Park, but I am unsure if we are allowed to mention Tom Cruise on this site.
posted by KokuRyu at 10:02 AM on March 21, 2012 [2 favorites]


Our long national nightmare is finally over.
posted by Saxon Kane at 10:04 AM on March 21, 2012 [5 favorites]


I was hooked by the series. I sat down to watch one, and ended up watching them all. Now I'm going to go pee on somebody.
posted by narcoleptic at 10:08 AM on March 21, 2012 [2 favorites]


I've probably mentioned this on Metafilter before, but in any case: The first time I saw Trapped in the Closet was on VH-1. They were showing the first 12 episodes and in between each episode they had reality TV style personal interviews with the characters talking about their reactions to the events. Not the actors. The characters. "Oh shit man, when I found that midget in my kitchen, I was like 'damn!'" Totally amazing.
posted by Saxon Kane at 10:12 AM on March 21, 2012 [5 favorites]


I love R. Kelly, and I loved the first chapters of Trapped in the Closet, but found that I really didn't like it starting around Chapter 8(basically once the white people and midget show up), does it get better?

That said, if you haven't seen the commentary for Trapped in the Closet DVD (Kells Commentary), you're truly missing out. Instead of adding a voice track, the whole thing is done as a video of R. Kelly watching the episodes while smoking an enormous cigar. He laughs outrageously as his own jokes, he describes things as "cliffhangers" in a way that suggests that he doesn't know what that word means, sometimes the camera positions itself on the floor between his legs so all you see is R blowing smoke and laughing like a lunatic.

Oh and, of course, when the narrator starts showing up in the episodes, there's a moment when R. Kelly is on the screen three times.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 10:17 AM on March 21, 2012 [7 favorites]


Wait. This is actually a series? I remember seeing the original "Trapped in the Closet Pt. 1" video way back when and thinking that it was both ridiculous and kind of amazing just how literal the lyrics to that song are: I'm in a closet. Now I'm pulling out my gun. Now I'm preparing for the husband to open the door. Etc.1

I assumed that a Part 2 video was coming eventually, but never bothered to look for it. That this is actually some kind of mini-series of music videos BLOWS MY MIND. I'll definitely have to sit down and watch all of them when I have a few uninterrupted moments.

[1] Not the actual lyrics, but pretty darn close.
posted by asnider at 10:17 AM on March 21, 2012


Now I'm going to go pee on somebody.

Riley: At what point does personal responsibility become a factor in this equation?
[...]
Riley: I see piss comin', I move.
[...]
Riley: She saw piss comin', she stayed.
[...]
Riley: And why should I have to miss out on the next R. Kelly album JUST fo' that? (walks away)
~The Boondocks - The Trial of Robert Kelly
posted by Fizz at 10:19 AM on March 21, 2012 [3 favorites]


You know, I didn't actually get to watch Trapped In The Closet until last year, long after I'd seen the South Park parody. And I've got to say, the whole thing is actually kind of post modern. For better or worse, R. Kelly invented an entirely new art form : a rap opera where a single narrator relates every irrelevant detail and does all of the voices while the actors lip sync. Nobody ever felt the need to do that before, and I don't think anyone else ever will. It is, quite literally, a singular accomplishment.
posted by Afroblanco at 10:23 AM on March 21, 2012 [13 favorites]


Oh man I hadn't actually listened to Trapped in the Closet in a long time, so I underestimated how much the first five chapters would remind me of college. Now, I want to mix a drink and start holding forth about the importance of homes(the men all care so much more about infidelity that takes place under their roof) to someone who almost certainly doesn't care.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 10:26 AM on March 21, 2012


R. Kelly also inspired the amazing Weird Al parody, Trapped in the Drive-Thru.
posted by Saxon Kane at 10:27 AM on March 21, 2012 [3 favorites]


For better or worse, R. Kelly invented an entirely new art form : a rap opera where a single narrator relates every irrelevant detail and does all of the voices while the actors lip sync.

Know this:

Someday, in the future, there will be college study programs devoted to discussing the symbolic use of midgets and cherry pies in "Trapped In The Closet".


Disclaimer: I once found a way to tie an episode of STAR TREK into an college essay about the Trobrianders of Papua New Guinea so I should probably shut up
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:41 AM on March 21, 2012 [2 favorites]


R. Kelly also inspired the amazing Weird Al parody, Trapped in the Drive-Thru.

sweet baby jebus, I hope Trapped in the Closet is half as awesome as this because it is rocking: my world.
posted by DU at 10:44 AM on March 21, 2012


Oh my goodness, I'm about to climax!!

And I say, cool, climax, just let go of my leg.
posted by Nahum Tate at 10:48 AM on March 21, 2012 [4 favorites]


R. Kelly should be praised for creating the world's first handicapped-accessible rap opera; you could be blind and still know pretty much exactly what's going on at any given time.
posted by Afroblanco at 10:55 AM on March 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


Answer: No, it was not even half as awesome as the Weird Al thing. But still pretty awesome.
posted by DU at 10:57 AM on March 21, 2012


Metafilter: holding forth about the importance x to someone who almost certainly doesn't care.
posted by ND¢ at 11:01 AM on March 21, 2012


I'm in. In my world there is no such thing as pushing a joke too far.
posted by bongo_x at 11:07 AM on March 21, 2012


It's been a few years since I watched the full Trapped In The Closet (once and only once), but as I recall, it started off as a serious attempt at rap opera with dramatic tension, cliffhangers, the works. After the first half, however, it seemed like Kelly became aware that its power was in how ridiculous and unintentionally (?) funny the whole thing was. Once he became self-aware, he started putting more "jokes" in, and the second half went downhill pretty quick. It kinda reminded me of what would happen if a director like Ed Wood had realized how "bad" his movies were, and then tried to intentionally make them that way.
posted by mysterpigg at 11:28 AM on March 21, 2012


"The entire United States Marine Corps could not stop it!"
posted by Smart Dalek at 11:29 AM on March 21, 2012


Someday, in the future, there will be college study programs devoted to discussing the symbolic use of midgets and cherry pies in "Trapped In The Closet".

You know, R. Kelly essentially said the same thing somewhere towards the beginning of this undertaking:

"[I]t’s here, and I believe it’s here to stay. I believe that 20 years from now, there will be a program called ‘Trapped in the Closet,’ there’s gonna be a talk show called ‘Trapped in the Closet.’ … It’s very well alive and it’s gonna be here forever."
posted by Mothra Pisces at 11:42 AM on March 21, 2012


Oh god.
posted by BlackLeotardFront at 11:44 AM on March 21, 2012


After the first half, however, it seemed like Kelly became aware that its power was in how ridiculous and unintentionally (?) funny the whole thing was. Once he became self-aware, he started putting more "jokes" in, and the second half went downhill pretty quick

Kells is a lot of things, but self-aware isn't one of them. He's on some completely genuine other, other shit.
posted by Fidel Cashflow at 11:45 AM on March 21, 2012


Trapped in the Closet is like the song version of a Facebook Friend Feed.
posted by benzenedream at 12:00 PM on March 21, 2012


I really enjoyed the first half as well. Those initial ones, as silly as some parts were, felt really "artistic" and pure. It seemed like it deserved appreciation as an eccentric work, not mockery. I was a little bit heartbroken when the midgets and lunchroom humor came in, and it inspired me to do a bit of research. The first five chapters were songs from an album, so they were made in a vacuum. From part 6 and onward, R Kelly was aware of audience response, and I think it shows. It's still pretty good until the midget chapter, but I do feel chapter 6 is where the shift begins.
posted by yorick at 12:10 PM on March 21, 2012


wait so this whole trapped in the closet thing really happened? You mean I didn't imagine it in a drug-induced stupor some years ago at a 3 day music festival or something?

Wow reality really is strange sometimes.
posted by some loser at 12:33 PM on March 21, 2012


Oh my goodness, I'm about to climax!!

And I say, cool, climax, just let go of my leg.


I had that snippet set as my ringtone for, like, a year.
posted by arianell at 12:38 PM on March 21, 2012


I would almost go as far as to say that Trapped in the Closet qualifies as outsider art. The first few episodes, anyway.
posted by Afroblanco at 12:44 PM on March 21, 2012 [2 favorites]


32 MORE episodes? Kelly is like the Little Sufjan Stevens That Actually Could.
posted by FatherDagon at 1:04 PM on March 21, 2012 [2 favorites]


Trapped in the Closet is my second favorite Michael K. Williams performance.
posted by palidor at 1:06 PM on March 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


I've never been able to tell if Trapped in the Closet is brilliant or just bad in a brilliant way.

♪ oh my god a rubber ♫
posted by Metroid Baby at 1:44 PM on March 21, 2012


In all seriousness one thing I think you could consider brilliant about the series is the fact that it's the same music, over and over, yet somehow it never gets old.
posted by palidor at 1:50 PM on March 21, 2012


Metafilter: 'I was like damn! That's a plate of beans!' 'And I looked at those beans.' 'And I thought about those beans.' 'And I was like: Am I overthinking those beans?'
posted by lumpenprole at 3:33 PM on March 21, 2012 [4 favorites]


Thanks. Because of this I got lost in a house of Weird Al mirrors on Youtube.

R. Kelly who with the what now?
posted by clvrmnky at 6:21 PM on March 21, 2012


If you've never seen Trapped in the Closet, I highly recommend it. First, though, gather a group of friends and make sure everyone is liquored up well, yourself especially. You may never laugh so hard again in your life.
posted by zardoz at 6:49 PM on March 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


Poor Michael "Omar" Williams had his moment in the sun, then R. Kelly went and peed on it.
posted by dephlogisticated at 12:01 AM on March 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


Hey, Michael Williams is on Community and Boardwalk Empire, so, he's doin OK.
posted by Saxon Kane at 1:19 PM on March 22, 2012


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