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All of these things are quite like the others
March 21, 2012 10:02 AM   Subscribe


 
I started with mattresses and was actually amazed. The other links did not dissuade me.

Well played, Internet.
posted by DU at 10:06 AM on March 21, 2012 [2 favorites]


A more accurate, less fun title is: "Animals who happen to be making the same facial expression that many humans make every day, including this particular celebrity that we have pictures of. Also, some celebrities wear clothes whose patterns closely resemble abandoned mattresses."
posted by Pater Aletheias at 10:06 AM on March 21, 2012 [2 favorites]


The discovery of Otters Who Look Like Benedict Cumberbatch saved me from a hideous day at work yesteday, because if that's not two of my favorite things to look at right there I really don't know what is.

Celebrities Who Look Like Mattresses, however, takes the entire thing to hitherto unheard-of existential heights.
posted by WidgetAlley at 10:07 AM on March 21, 2012 [10 favorites]


I started with mattresses and was actually amazed.

I went the other way. Started with otters and was convinced there was no way the mattresses could stack up. I was wrong.

Well played, mattresses.
posted by Rock Steady at 10:07 AM on March 21, 2012 [11 favorites]


But no cats!? What the fuck internet, you're letting me down.
posted by Fizz at 10:08 AM on March 21, 2012 [1 favorite]




You're welcome.
posted by Elsa at 10:10 AM on March 21, 2012 [2 favorites]




Dammit!
posted by book 'em dano at 10:11 AM on March 21, 2012




This is a sex thing isn't it?
posted by The Whelk at 10:15 AM on March 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


The Cheezburger Network has a subsite that has been doing that kind of thing for eons in web-time. Although the aggregation of multiple examples of a very specific variation is one of the things tumblr does well.
posted by oneswellfoop at 10:17 AM on March 21, 2012


Only for you, Whelk. Only for you.
posted by sebastienbailard at 10:18 AM on March 21, 2012


I'm always amazed at how ugly British celebrities are.
posted by slogger at 10:26 AM on March 21, 2012 [3 favorites]


I'm always amazed at how ugly British celebrities are.

You should jump on tumblr, the love that Cumberbatch gets on there boggles my fucking mind!?
posted by Fizz at 10:27 AM on March 21, 2012 [3 favorites]


You should jump on tumblr, the love that Cumberbatch gets on there boggles my fucking mind!?

I thought that was a young and skinny Jeremy Clarkson.
posted by slogger at 10:30 AM on March 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


In The Whelk's defense, "Benedict Cumberbatch" does sound like something you'd hope to get after giving your SO that perfect anniversary dinner.
posted by zombieflanders at 10:30 AM on March 21, 2012 [8 favorites]


British celebrities
posted by The Whelk at 10:31 AM on March 21, 2012 [4 favorites]


In The Whelk's defense, "Benedict Cumberbatch" does sound like something you'd hope to get after giving your SO that perfect anniversary dinner.

And then hope they make a pill for.
posted by DU at 10:32 AM on March 21, 2012 [2 favorites]


Benedict Cumberbatch is a gorgeous alien - I make no apologies for my unabashed love of his unique features and I think he is gorgeous. More importantly he is a fantastic actor.

On another note, I always find it odd when an internet meme gets reported in old school press as the otter thing did.
posted by Julnyes at 10:34 AM on March 21, 2012 [7 favorites]


I'm always amazed at how ugly British celebrities are.

Well, we can't all be Drew Carey and Tori Spelling.
posted by Celsius1414 at 10:35 AM on March 21, 2012 [13 favorites]


I'm always amazed at how ugly British celebrities are.

I was about 23 when an older and better-traveled friend told me that she thought I'd be more at home living in London and, incidentally, that "you'd be considered a great beauty there."

For a split second, I was flattered, then I caught up with the whole remark. "Oh, that's so swee--- Hey!"
posted by Elsa at 10:35 AM on March 21, 2012 [3 favorites]


If your Benedict Cumberbatch lasts for more than six hours, see your doctor.
posted by The Whelk at 10:36 AM on March 21, 2012 [7 favorites]


True story time: I'm in the alumni & faculty show of the Vagina Monologues at my alma mater this year. For those of you who've never seen the show before, in the opening introduction, there's a long list of vagina euphemisms, and each unique cast is supposed to add a few of their names for their own vaginas. This year, my fabulous director is letting me yell, "BENEDICT CUMBERSNATCH!"
posted by WidgetAlley at 10:38 AM on March 21, 2012 [8 favorites]


If you have 4 minutes to listen to "Names that Benedict Cumberbatch Won't Listen To", I highly recommend it.
posted by smackfu at 10:38 AM on March 21, 2012 [5 favorites]


Ever since a particularly hilarious exchange on Twitter, we've been calling him "Breakfasttoast Crumblesnacks".
posted by WidgetAlley at 10:40 AM on March 21, 2012 [4 favorites]


you have to admit that this one is pretty fucking adorable.
posted by Think_Long at 10:40 AM on March 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


If your Benedict Cumberbatch lasts for more than six hours, see your doctor.

Well, shit. There goes my Sherlock marathon.
posted by zombieflanders at 10:43 AM on March 21, 2012 [5 favorites]


Oh, internet. You keep finding new ways to be unexpectedly weird. And yet still amusing.
posted by rmd1023 at 10:51 AM on March 21, 2012


You know, I used to think that the British were a civilized people, but then I saw that David Mitchell eats pizza with a knife and fork.
posted by jedicus at 10:51 AM on March 21, 2012 [2 favorites]


How did they make that mattress one? Is there a celebrity image database that is searchable not by name but by which plaid they're wearing?
posted by aubilenon at 10:52 AM on March 21, 2012 [3 favorites]


If you have 4 minutes to listen to "Names that Benedict Cumberbatch Won't Listen To", I highly recommend it.

I don't have four minutes! Will he answer to "Blast Hardcheese?"
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 10:57 AM on March 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


Englebert Rabblecatch
Fingerslurp Needlethatch
Jinglebear Fumblerant
Eggybread Wonderlatch
Sainsbury’s Valuematch
Spongebob Squarepatch
Soothsayer Fortunebatch
Tinygarden Cucumberranch
Reginald Bumberflat
Buckingham Superslam
Edinburgh Slumberparty
Riverstyx Cobblebricks
Crannynook Muffinman
Escalator Roundabout
Manchester Dunderbreath
Loggerhead Chariotdash
Lickmstick Mumblecore........


Okay it's just an endless source of RPG character names
posted by The Whelk at 11:00 AM on March 21, 2012 [2 favorites]


A more accurate, less fun title is: "Animals who happen to be making the same facial expression that many humans make every day, including this particular celebrity that we have pictures of. Also, some celebrities wear clothes whose patterns closely resemble abandoned mattresses."

You have, like, zero fun, don't you?
posted by fatbird at 11:04 AM on March 21, 2012 [9 favorites]


Pater Aletheias: A more accurate, less fun title is: "Animals who happen to be making the same facial expression that many humans make every day, including this particular celebrity that we have pictures of. Also, some celebrities wear clothes whose patterns closely resemble abandoned mattresses."

Hi Pater, I see you are in Texas; there will be a London meet-up coming up soon that should be fun, it would be a real shame if you could make it over.
posted by biffa at 11:05 AM on March 21, 2012 [5 favorites]


You know, I used to think that the British were a civilized people, but then I saw that David Mitchell eats pizza with a knife and fork.

The only thing that could possibly be more David Mitchell than eating pizza with a knife and fork would be his explanation for why he eats pizza with a knife and fork, which I imagine involves plenty of confused disdain for the rest of us slinging tomato sauce all over our clothes and face.
posted by Copronymus at 11:11 AM on March 21, 2012 [21 favorites]


HI I'M ON METAFILTER AND I COULD OVERTHINK A PAGE OF BADGERS
posted by whir at 11:16 AM on March 21, 2012 [10 favorites]


You forgot turtles that look like Mitch McConnell, previously on MetaFilter.
posted by wikipedia brown boy detective at 11:17 AM on March 21, 2012


ONTD has an inexplicable love for Tom Hiddleston, which baffles me even more than the Cumberbatch obsession. And Hiddleston isn't nearly as funny as Cumberbatch!
posted by orrnyereg at 11:50 AM on March 21, 2012


Englebert Rabblecatch
Fingerslurp Needlethatch
Jinglebear Fumblerant
Eggybread Wonderlatch
Sainsbury’s Valuematch
Spongebob Squarepatch
Soothsayer Fortunebatch
Tinygarden Cucumberranch
Reginald Bumberflat
Buckingham Superslam
Edinburgh Slumberparty
Riverstyx Cobblebricks
Crannynook Muffinman
Escalator Roundabout
Manchester Dunderbreath
Loggerhead Chariotdash
Lickmstick Mumblecore........


YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S BEEN SENDING ME ALL THAT SPAM!
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 11:56 AM on March 21, 2012 [2 favorites]


So I read, "Celebrities who look like mattresses abandoned on the streets of London E17."

Thought to myself, Oh now come on, internet there's such a thing as taking a meme too . . .

Clicked.

Oh.

Damn you, internet, you win again!
posted by gompa at 12:06 PM on March 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


Huh. English mattresses are much more colorful than American mattresses. Also, otters are cute.
posted by workerant at 12:11 PM on March 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


Linus Torvalds looks like a penguin.
posted by jeffburdges at 12:28 PM on March 21, 2012


Ever since a particularly hilarious exchange on Twitter, we've been calling him "Breakfasttoast Crumblesnacks".

And now I'm wondering how to explain my uncontrollable giggling at work. Thanks a lot.
posted by desjardins at 12:29 PM on March 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


Benedict Cumberbatch has admitted that he's been compared to Sid from Ice Age which has endeared him to me enormously.
posted by steganographia at 12:29 PM on March 21, 2012 [3 favorites]


Englebert Rabblecatch
Fingerslurp Needlethatch
Jinglebear Fumblerant
Eggybread Wonderlatch
Sainsbury’s Valuematch
Spongebob Squarepatch
Soothsayer Fortunebatch
Tinygarden Cucumberranch
Reginald Bumberflat
Buckingham Superslam
Edinburgh Slumberparty
Riverstyx Cobblebricks
Crannynook Muffinman
Escalator Roundabout
Manchester Dunderbreath
Loggerhead Chariotdash
Lickmstick Mumblecore


Isn't that the list of rejected stage names before he decided on Englebert Humperdink?
Related Eddie Izzard sketch.
posted by EndsOfInvention at 12:48 PM on March 21, 2012 [5 favorites]


I once tried to abandon a sofa that looked like Martin Clunes on the streets of London SE17, but an old lady yelled at me. I'd never had a complete stranger yell at me before.
posted by Flashman at 12:55 PM on March 21, 2012 [3 favorites]


Copronymous you have produced my now-favorite comment of the year well done.
posted by six-or-six-thirty at 1:11 PM on March 21, 2012


That is Benedict TIMOTHY CARLTON Cumberbatch AKA the most Britishly awesome name in the history of Britishness, and when deployed properly in the hands of professionals using the whole Name will give you magical powers, a dapper monocle, and a spot of tea. AVADA BENEDICT TIMOTHY CARLTON CUMBERBATCH KEDAVRA, now would you care for a scone?

The Name is also appropriate for use for religious entreaty, e.g. "O gorgeous alien Benedict Timothy Carlton Cumberbatch, may the sunlit gleam from thy cheekbones illuminate my screen forevermore, this I ask in your Name that is the awesome Name of BTCC etc., amen."
posted by nicebookrack at 3:38 PM on March 21, 2012 [3 favorites]


I'm always amazed at how ugly British celebrities are.

They should be fucking ashamed
posted by dng at 5:09 PM on March 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


Benny Crumbles vacillates between an unearthly eldritch handsomeness and a terrifying resemblance to the ghastly love child of Voldemort and Nagini.
posted by elizardbits at 6:26 PM on March 21, 2012 [3 favorites]


Also David Mitchell is a god stranded among lesser men.
posted by elizardbits at 6:27 PM on March 21, 2012 [4 favorites]


"Animals who happen to be making the same facial expression that many humans make every day, including this particular celebrity that we have pictures of. Also, some celebrities wear clothes whose patterns closely resemble abandoned mattresses."

Sure, but you can make that argument with anything. Like: "Religious faith just happens to be a belief in a higher power responsible for the creation of the infinite universe, to whom we are now directly answerable in action and deed, and which developed from primitive minds lacking any basic ability for scientific investigation or insight into the nature of the world, but still desired the control that results from a purported understanding, and which reinforces moral systems developed by nobody other than those who got there first and wielded the biggest stick, and which has now entrenched itself permanently in the human consciousness despite a lack of any evidence for it." I mean, jeez.
posted by tumid dahlia at 6:43 PM on March 21, 2012 [2 favorites]


OK, I'll admit it. I'm a lame American and have no idea who any of those people are, except the few American celebs who made it into the mattress list. And yet, I loved all the pictures. And now I'm looking up this Cumbersnatch... BATCH! Cumberbatch person to find out what the fuss is about.
posted by vytae at 6:47 PM on March 21, 2012


2 minutes later, I think he might be Heather Morris dressed as a man. Maybe.
posted by vytae at 6:50 PM on March 21, 2012


no idea who any of those people are

For more David Mitchelly enjoyment check out any episode of Would I Lie To You on youtube.

I apologize in advance for making everyone late to work/school/life.
posted by elizardbits at 6:52 PM on March 21, 2012 [1 favorite]




I've heard Benedict Cumberbatch say that his name "sounds like a fart in a bath." It made me love him all the more.

Also, somewhere (and I'm damned if I can find where) I saw a classmate of his had made a list of Benedict Cumberbatch's super-secret name powers. For instance, if you stand up in a pub and yell "CUMBERBATCH! CUMBERBATCH! CUMBERBATCH!" he will appear in a puff of smoke and buy you a beer.

I've tried it a few times. It doesn't work.
posted by That's Numberwang! at 7:32 PM on March 21, 2012 [3 favorites]


Nice work with the underused interstupids tag.
posted by six-or-six-thirty at 9:47 PM on March 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


"Benedict Cumberbatch" will be my next Discworld character.
posted by SPrintF at 10:04 PM on March 21, 2012


Edinburgh Slumberparty was pretty good, though there were way too many close-up shots of the guys' faces. I hate those. And of course I couldn't understand a thing.
posted by clorox at 10:21 PM on March 21, 2012


You know, I used to think that the British were a civilized people, but then I saw that David Mitchell eats pizza with a knife and fork.
posted by jedicus at 6:51 PM on March 21



That's because he's British, and civilised (with an 's'). Go into any pizza place in Britain and you'll see we pretty much all do that if we're eating pizza at a table. We eat burgers that way too. Really. That's because we prefer not to eat like fucking monkeys, my dear colonial chums.
posted by Decani at 10:32 PM on March 21, 2012 [2 favorites]


ONTD has an inexplicable love for Tom Hiddleston, which baffles me even more than the Cumberbatch obsession. And Hiddleston isn't nearly as funny as Cumberbatch!

Gonna disagree here as well, Hiddleston is freaking hilarious. Have you heard his impressions? Watched interviews with him? That curly haired moppet of a Brit is indeed amusing.

also he is Loki - Loki needs all the love he can get.
posted by Julnyes at 10:41 PM on March 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


You ever see a Britsher pizza? Insane, like they got the intro and ending of an instruction kit and mixed it up, thin crust, but big, and lots of toppings. You'd almost have to eat it like a pie just to get it into your mouth . Something got lost in the translation and while it's not bad, it's not pizza, but at least it's not the horrible thing they call Mexican.
posted by The Whelk at 10:53 PM on March 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


BTTC Sherlock VS Loki snarkoff battle = I'd hit it

and sell tapes on the Internet as hot, hot nerd porn
posted by nicebookrack at 11:03 PM on March 21, 2012


I mean really, I don't slap the chip butty with drippings out of your mouth, just stay away from pizza and ill stay away away from ploughman lunches and well all be better for it.
posted by The Whelk at 11:04 PM on March 21, 2012 [2 favorites]


Also, i will learn how to make Yorkshire puddings if you learn how to make cornbread. It's only fair.
posted by The Whelk at 11:05 PM on March 21, 2012


A friend studied abroad for a year in Scotland, and as she tells it the local hotspot was a knife-and-fork pizza place masquerading as an Italian restaurant (with Italian music & Italian wines & Italian menus with nothing on them but pizza that you Did Not eat with your hands).

She's off to visit Italy soon; I'm not letting her back into the country until she's tried Italian-made haggis or such.
posted by nicebookrack at 11:20 PM on March 21, 2012


That's because he's British, and civilised (with an 's'). Go into any pizza place in Britain and you'll see we pretty much all do that if we're eating pizza at a table. We eat burgers that way too. Really. That's because we prefer not to eat like fucking monkeys, my dear colonial chums.

When people ask me about food and eating out in Britain I always tell them that there is greater concern about where you eat your food, how you eat your food, and how the food is served to you than, well, The quality of the food itself.

There's great food to be had, for sure. But there's a greater tolerance in Britain than in most other countries for lots of nonsense and pretence that one has to sift through in the quest for an actual good meal.
posted by vacapinta at 2:27 AM on March 22, 2012


Also David Mitchell is a god stranded among lesser men.

Yes but he is marrying Victoria Coren and for that he must die.
posted by Infinite Jest at 3:52 AM on March 22, 2012 [2 favorites]


As a local, I'm just glad the plight of matri in Walthamstow is finally getting the recognition it deserves.

Only this week one was abandonded in my street, it's been there three days now and it just makes my heart bleed. Someone left a KitKat wrapper on top of it yesterday!
posted by Helga-woo at 3:55 AM on March 22, 2012


I just realized...the last time I had pizza in a restaurant in London, I ate it with a knife and fork without thinking about it.

HOLY CHRIST I'VE GONE NATIVE PIP PIP CHEERIO CRUMPETS CRIKEY MARY POPPINS
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 4:11 AM on March 22, 2012 [5 favorites]


it's not pizza

Neither are the American...things.

We also appear to be missing the traditional American dig at our teeth ITT. Somebody please rectify this so I can roll my eyes the full 360.
posted by Quantum's Deadly Fist at 5:29 AM on March 22, 2012 [3 favorites]


Yes but he is marrying Victoria Coren and for that he must die.

you shut your filthy mouth

he would never betray robert webb like that
posted by elizardbits at 5:55 AM on March 22, 2012 [6 favorites]


So I was popping around the Sherlock subreddit and looked at the related subreddits. What did I see?
/r/Cumberbitches.
posted by charred husk at 7:07 AM on March 22, 2012 [2 favorites]


Victoria Coren, professional poker player, not just a smart arse quiz host!
posted by asok at 7:35 AM on March 22, 2012


ONTD has an inexplicable love for Tom Hiddleston, which baffles me even more than the Cumberbatch obsession.

Tiddles is a delight at all times, although I am confused by the unholy lusts he inspires.
posted by elizardbits at 7:52 AM on March 22, 2012


And it's a shame he plays for Spurs.
posted by dng at 9:42 AM on March 22, 2012


At one point I came across the sentence, "Benedict Cumberbatch and Matt Smith are the two ends of the spectrum of British names." I can't remember where, though...
posted by you're a kitty! at 2:31 PM on April 13, 2012


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