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Now this is something I just don't get.
March 28, 2000 8:45 PM   Subscribe

Now this is something I just don't get. Getting worked up because some people are posting longer entries? Can someone explain this to me? So Ben Brown mentioned that he prefers longer posts, and a few people responded to the idea favorably. But then there's backlash to this idea? Can someone please explain to me how someone writing long posts is somehow wrong? Is anyone holding a gun to your head making you read anything on the web? If Ben Brown's posts are too long, don't read them. If Jack's or Brig's are too long, don't read them. If I'm wrong here, please set me straight. I must not have read the weblog rulebook that states posts should be short and snarky, if anyone has a hyperlink to said rule book, please post that too.
posted by mathowie (1614 comments total) 20 users marked this as a favorite

This may be a stretch, but I'm going to throw out the possibility that Neale is being less than completely serious... I think his record may indicate a predisposition toward tweaking people - I mean, he is the author of Weblog Jr. High after all... and if you look at it in that light, it's not far off from Ben's "weblogs are destroying everything I love about the web" essay - only it's not long enough for him to say "well, maybe I don't completely hate long essays" (although, at 637 words, he is making that point by writing a long anti-long essay essay) - It may not be particularly elegant, but so few of us are.

Matt, I'll be forwarding the official short-and-snarky rulebook to you in email.
posted by CrazyUncleJoe at 9:01 PM on March 28, 2000


I can see it being a joke, but there's a lot of people saying "right on Neale!" I guess I understand that sentiment even less.
posted by mathowie at 9:08 PM on March 28, 2000


I don't know about Neale, but I'll let you in on a little secret - my "right on Neale" was sarcastic.
posted by adam at 9:39 PM on March 28, 2000


*chuckle*
It's because you're a kind and generous person who overestimates his fellow man. The problem with sarcasm (and I'm not speaking specifically of this situation, since I don't actually know anyone's true mind) is that it's a very delicate balance. If you don't do it well enough (or if you do it too well) there is nobody to appreciate the gag, since everyone thinks you really mean it and/or that you are a raving nutjob. Even when you do it well, a large portion of your audience will take your comments at face value and either get furious with you (fun) or agree with you (often very scary)... this can be either good or bad, depending on your intentions. If your intent is to lampoon a subject through ridicule, you want people to see that is what you are doing - if you want to troll people on the other hand... Maybe I'm the one giving people too much credit, but I don't think that either Ben or Neale are attempting to dictate what is and is not appropriate content on the web. And now, by writing this, I've sucked all the fun out of it for me.
bleah.
posted by CrazyUncleJoe at 9:47 PM on March 28, 2000


yeah. joe sucked the fun out of it for me too.
posted by adam at 9:53 PM on March 28, 2000


That's me, sucking the joy and fun out of the room like a big anti-party hoover. whrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
posted by CrazyUncleJoe at 10:01 PM on March 28, 2000


hey I agree with matt, I like reading Blogs, but personally I have the attention span of a 2 year old watching cartoons. I keep my own weblog, and I admit that I do post long posts, but its MY weblog :)

why can't we all just get a long?
posted by r-boogie at 10:01 PM on March 28, 2000


I personally don't like the idea of *anyone* telling me that
the way I choose to write is "wrong". that's always the feeling I've gotten from Ben's essays on the subject, and apparently that's the feeling you got from reading Neale's essay. (Ben and I spoke at SXSW, btw, and found that we definitely agree on some things and definitely disagree on some things...just like everyone else. I respect him; I just disagree with him on certain things.)

I've been a little dismayed by the number of "Oh, Ben was right" posts since SXSW. I don't care if people choose to try the long form; I just don't like the right/wrong aspect of it. I didn't think anyone was doing anything *wrong* before.

I don't think there's only one way to write well.

anyway, Neale adopts a pretty snarky tone, but really, I found his essay to be humorous, inoffensive, and, yes, to the point in many ways (for example, the distinction he makes about weblogs pointing out and journals pointing in. it's obviously not that cut-and-dried, but I think it's an interesting observation, and aligns with my internal categorization of where the site I'm looking at falls on the weblog/journal spectrum.)

so actually, I guess I'd have to say "right on Neale".

and then to everyone else, "as you were. it's your web. make it any way you want."

rcb
posted by rebeccablood at 10:20 PM on March 28, 2000


Can't we all just get a blog?
posted by bradlands at 10:57 PM on March 28, 2000


Matt, does your post constitute backlash against the backlash against the backlash against weblogs?

Troublemaker!
posted by Sapphireblue at 11:14 PM on March 28, 2000


Thanks Rebecca, Joe... you two, collectively, have me nailed to rights.
I'm in the middle of a very interesting e-mail exchange with Ben, and I'm checking to see if it's alright by him to post a cut down version online.
We (Ben and I) really don't think all that differently; I think it's all a matter of how people have interpreted what he's said, and what I've said, and the in-between reactions.
I'm just hoping that people are launching into 3000+ for the right reasons, instead of the fact that all the other kids are doing it.

posted by Neale at 3:57 AM on March 29, 2000


Perhaps Neale and Ben don't think too differently, but they certainly sounded like they disagreed. I'm with Jason. Long or Short, Tolstoy or Haiku, it's all good.


Or rather, it has the potential for being good.
posted by grestall at 4:33 AM on March 29, 2000



My original point is that it is in fact, all good, there are no "right" or "wrong" reasons to personal writing, and I didn't like seeing Neale insinuate that someone shouldn't write on the web because it's outside the bounds of his personal tastes (I was equally displeased with Ben's original teethmag piece for saying the same thing). Whether or not it was a joke, I didn't like the idea of discouraging anyone from writing.

The beauty of the web is that anyone can write anything they want and not only should they feel free to do so, they should be encouraged to do so. Short or long, it doesn't matter, as long as people are writing something interesting, I'll be reading and enjoying it. If it's not interesting, someone else may find it so.

It is all good.
posted by mathowie at 5:40 AM on March 29, 2000


Yeah, it's all good. I too reacted negatively on Ben's original piece. I have no idea why, but the way it was written annoyed me no end. (I'd never read anything by Ben before and have no idea who he is.) I just felt attacked for writing short weblog entries. That's why I reacted perhaps a little more negatively than was called for.
posted by prolific at 5:58 AM on March 29, 2000


We all have different stories that we want to tell, and those stories should be allowed to find their own lengths. I find the idea of a "magic number" like 3000 rather silly, and find it difficult to believe that saying nothing in 3000 words is inherently better than saying it in 100, or vice versa.

On the other hand, the one thing that really caught my attention in Ben's SxSW piece was the claim that Powazek had been promoting weblogs at the expense of other types of personal publishing:

"A few minutes ago, Derek was saying that the organizers here at SxSW wanted to do a panel on personal publishing, you know, journals, zines, that sort of thing. And Derek said 'Oh no, that's so uncool now. Do it on weblogs.' and see, that's exactly what I'm talking about here."
Is there any truth to Ben's claim?


posted by harmful at 6:16 AM on March 29, 2000


Like Neale said, we've been having a big long email conversation, and we really don't disagree too much, and this is what I've found with every single person I've talked to. I don't want people to stop writing their weblogs. The TeethMag piece I wrote, jeez, like a year ago, was a sarcastic bit, and was written when I didn't really read any blogs. Now that I've met these nice folks and read their sites for a while, I've come around on the whole issue.

So what I said at SxSW and what I'll say here again is not that I don't like weblogs and think they should go away -- My fear is that people are saying that the future of personal content online is the blog, that journals and zines are evolving into the blog, and that it's so wonderfully easy to do a blog that most people won't even need to make a decision about their content format. I don't want everyone to write a billion words, right? I don't want people to stop writing their blogs and start zines. I just want people to remember that they can, that they aren't limited to the weblog format, and that they may have a lot of creative potential in their heads that they aren't utilizing. (which is not to say that weblogs aren't creative!) The people who heard me talk at SxSW, I think they did realize this, and so now, they've taken a step to trying the longer style. Does this mean you have to? No! Does this mean the weblogging masses have to? No! Did I mean for this whole 3000+ meme to spread to the unwashed masses of geocities webloggers, causing a volcano like eruption of bad journals? Good god no, but that's the beauty of the web, isn't it?
posted by benbrown at 8:37 AM on March 29, 2000


Yes, Derek is the Anti-Christ.
posted by CrazyUncleJoe at 8:39 AM on March 29, 2000


Ben, get to the important issues. Are you the one who eats your bread with the butter side down, or is that Neale?
posted by harmful at 8:39 AM on March 29, 2000


Ben's people are the ones with the stars on thars. Or was that Halcyon?
posted by CrazyUncleJoe at 8:43 AM on March 29, 2000


Butter side up for me, cept on bagels. On bagels, it goes in the middle. Never ever eat an openface bagel! What a waste! Round bread is supposed to have a nice crusty (or sugar coated) skin ALL THE WAY AROUND.
posted by benbrown at 8:48 AM on March 29, 2000


There isn't any rage or vitriol behind this post, but I'm just curious as to why the idea of a longer post is so *new* and *revolutionary* to everyone. Do the names Xeney, Anita,
and Kim Reed (not to mention
me!) mean anything to anyone? These people have been doing weblogs and journals together for quite a while now. Maybe I'm a little jaded to longer posts since
I'm so used to the journal scene, but come now folks! Nothing any of us does online is particularly *new* anymore so there's no reason to boohoo about it.
posted by stefnet at 8:49 AM on March 29, 2000


Nope, sorry. No bells.
<<duck>>
posted by CrazyUncleJoe at 8:52 AM on March 29, 2000


And nobody has said it's a new thing. It's just that bunch of people have started new essay format projects all of a sudden. And Neale's point about doing it for the right reason is so important. If you actually don't have anything to say, don't! It takes me a whole week to come up with enough crap to say on my page, sometimes more. Blah blah blah, I really should be getting to that developers conference.
posted by benbrown at 8:53 AM on March 29, 2000


Me, I like a long post, as long as it's called for. Someone who just writes stretched-out and verbose filler on their blogs reserves themselves a special spot on my "grrr" list, but if they have a legitimate reason to be ranting for 4000 words, I'm all over that shit.
posted by Succa at 9:04 AM on March 29, 2000


I like 'em short. I don't have anything against long writings, I actually liked Jack's saga w/ the girl from SXSW and have found Ben's recent writing interesting as well.

However, I wouldn't want all the bloggers, or even a medium-sized group of them, to start writing this way simply because it takes way too much time to read.

Dang, I gotta go now, I'll write some more about it later.
posted by schlyer at 9:52 AM on March 29, 2000


Schlyer wrote:
However, I wouldn't want all the bloggers, or even a medium-sized group of them, to start writing this way simply because it takes way too much time to read.
But no one has given up their weblogs. They've just added a new section for longer things. If you like someone's weblog, wouldn't you want to hear more from them? More in-depth discussions of something that's on their mind?

Even if a good bunch of weblog authors abandoned their format for a long one, it would be their choice and up to the reader to choose to read them or not. I guess part of this is an ownership discussion. Who owns your weblog, You or the readers?

I make time to read long posts that I find interesting. Does anyone complain that Lance goes on and on? Regardless of their length, all his things are just great and I set aside time to read each new one, even if it takes me 4 or 5 attempts to get through it all with my MTV-crippled short attention span.
posted by mathowie at 10:09 AM on March 29, 2000


*smirking*
Yeah, but Lance doesn't update on a daily/hourly basis.

Once again its not the quantity of content, rather the quality of the content.
posted by dangerman at 10:20 AM on March 29, 2000


hi, im red scare, the guy thay matt and brig linked to about the little agreement of mine with Neale over on neoflux.com

ill start off by saying that i dont have anything against long, personal, heartfelt, deep emotionly rooted writing on the web. quite the contrary, when i first began web publishing two years ago all i did was write my life... my most deep and inner life that i would not tell my dog. no password although a constant fear of someone finding out and me being outed at school or something of the like. so when i said i thought brig 3000+ was not impressive, i meant to say that this trend of webloggers - whose sole purpose in my opinion is to post links of their daily web browing and proved a word, sentence, paraghraph, rant of commentary. even that isn't necessary. i just feel this dismay towards the big names of webloggers all assuming that they are doing something different and original. or maybe i'm just bitter that im not popular, i dont know.

i also agree with rebecca, the collest weblogger i know next to neale, when she says that what she got from ben's essay is what is wrong. all this moralizing is just more elitism of the web that diguests me and makes me ponder is my reasons for choosing the web lifestyle to get away from the shit real world was in fact a mistake.

i just now realise that ben was supporting what i support more than anyone knows; and that is that personal content and journals should continue for they are wonderful. what makes me into an irate russian is that ben brown thinks he is a leader. he assumes that because he loves himself, everyone else does, and that sickens me. i also thought the same of derek and many other web elites, but i have realised that my assumptions are wrong and i apologized to derek for flaming him and attacking him. i dont feel that i am wrong about ben brown. the arrogence he exudes in his daily text disgusts me. i read his long posts, which i do not oppose to whatsoever as long as there is something worth saying, and i feel that he just wants to tell us about how much he wants to get laid, and personally thats not worth knowing.

for a while i ran my journal in weblog, short post format, which worked well because it showed my continuous changing feelings throughout the day. then again, my longer essay type journal entries werer just more passionate. to write 3000 some words about how your angry and want sex, is just annoying, im sorry.

the web can be art. journals are art. weblogs are art , to an extent, where its more like news or an information buffet. writing is art, as long as it's out to convey the writers point of view and a feeling.

my love for neale is beyond most of your comprehention. i have been taking nude pics to show neale because, well, he requested it. the reason neale has been such a prominent web figure for me is because of his dismay towards the elite of the web. the "your not as good as you think you are" attitude coupled with his cynicism and sarcasm makes for wonderful and profound reading.

i dont mean to say brig 3000+ is bad writing, it just bored me and so i dont read it. i stick to her blog (which i think is a nice design no matter what sally 10penny says). i read derek, i read saturn and jack more than ever, and i read ben brown... for about two seconds before bringing the blade closer to my wrist.

so, i say, do whatever you want! and ill voice my opinions! and ill agree with whomever i want!

my favorite quote in this thing by rebecca:

I've been a little dismayed by the number of "Oh, Ben was right" posts since SXSW. I don't care if people choose to try the long form; I just don't like the right/wrong aspect of it. I didn't think anyone was doing anything *wrong* before.

so, i say everyone can do what they want as long as i say i like it... and i have a profound hatred for ben brown. i somewhat feel bad about that because he's kind of hot... but oh well.
posted by red scare at 1:56 PM on March 29, 2000


brig writes:
i wonder why people get so upset and jump to accuse others of being trendy and exclusive when it's really just jealousy over the fact that they're better and more popular?
maybe its because of statements like that where arrogance and elitism just emanate with the worst stench.
posted by red scare at 2:01 PM on March 29, 2000


red scare:
all this moralizing is just more elitism of the web that diguests me and makes me ponder is my reasons for choosing the web lifestyle to get away from the shit real world was in fact a mistake.
I don't see elitism on the web, really, I never have, except when people accuse others of it.

If your problem is with "popular" webloggers being recognized for writing longer posts while yours go unnoticed, take a step back and analyze the situation. Why should it matter if webloggers are recognized by Ben for writing long? Who said Ben was a god that is leading us to the promised land? He just put forth an idea that people should express themselves more and some people responded to that. That's all.

These elitism discussions go nowhere, but I honestly have never gotten an elitism vibe from anyone on the web. I just plug away on my stupid sites and if people like it, great, if they hate it, that's fine too. If you think some people are elitist and you're convinced they think they're somehow better than you, maybe the web lifestyle was a bad choice after all, because frankly, I don't see elitism existing.
posted by mathowie at 2:14 PM on March 29, 2000


funny. that quote was written based on an entirely different topic i happened to be discussing with matt.

in relation to this topic, it is occasionally true. look back at the whole derek discussion, where people were ripping into the most wonderful, sweet, kind person accusing him of elitism and exclusivity. merely because he's good at what he does and well-aclaimed for it.


posted by brig at 2:14 PM on March 29, 2000


How about...

Oh, this is going to be an incredibly novel idea...

How about everyone write about whatever the hell they want in their log, be it in 3000 words or 12. And if you run across that page and decide you don't like it, you can...

(Damn, this is going to be an even more novel concept)

You can just not read it.

*gasp*
posted by precocious at 2:25 PM on March 29, 2000


brig writes:
look back at the whole derek discussion, where people were ripping into the most wonderful, sweet, kind person accusing him of elitism and exclusivity. merely because he's good at what he does and well-aclaimed for it.
i have seen the light in that sense and i agree. oh, and i thought your post was in regard to this, sorry.

hey matt... so by saying "I don't see elitism on the web, really, I never have, except when people accuse others of it" you are accusing me of being elitist? odd, i had no idea that being upset at the elite subsequently ment you yourself are elite. hmmm, extremely intresting and wrong, sorry.

"Why should it matter if webloggers are recognized by Ben for writing long? Who said Ben was a god that is leading us to the promised land? " i never said that. i never said that i am angry that it is ben noticing people, i meant the majority of the web... i am angry at this exclusive clique of webloggers that no one is allowed to. for example, if you werent at sxsw, you really dont matter. thats a vibe ive gotten. and your comment about maybe the weblifestyle was wrong for me is quite juvenile. i never said that everyone on the web is a prick elite asshole, just that the ones who are (ahem, ben brown) really get to me. i see countless of websites with only 50 hits a day that still put more heart into everything they do. the guy from the above link hand draws his art, writes feveroushly, and gets a minimal amount of attention and recognition for it. in a few days will culminate his two years of running his website and he might close it down because it seems as though he has been exausting himself sick week after week, day after day, for no reason because it seems as though no one notices. that pisses me off. fine, derek has A LOT of talent and i respect him tremendously, but others arent doing anything spectacular and proclaim themselves as web gods (not literally, but thats the style in which they write) and them being so full of themselves is quite... infuriating.
posted by red scare at 2:34 PM on March 29, 2000


but, ben isn't a god. he's a sweet, cuddly, nice guy who plays a god on the web. the whole point of doing a site isn't to be famous or popular or make lots of money. it's for yourself. if someone's doing it for any other reason, they're doomed to resentment and anger.
posted by brig at 2:47 PM on March 29, 2000


That's about as much crap from ben as I can take.
What the hell is wrong with an openface bagel? A little cream cheese, a little salmon, some onion... after all, how the hell are you going to balance all that on a non-sliced bagel? It's madness, I tell you, madness!
Red, thanks for your nice words, but I'd have to say Ben and my arrogance is well on par (at the very least). If you object to his level of arrogance, well, you're shitting on me as well. I think some of the things we're saying have been confused in the heat of the moment.
Ben and I doooo disagree on some things... and that's the way people will always be. I think we're heading into the whole blog/journal thing from two very different directions, and some of our views are getting polarised. Jason et al. It's all good. It's just that sometimes you gotta watch out if it's the right good at the right place at the rights time... and there's some (some!) confusion about what ben or I are advocating.
Matt, what I said was my personal preference; they'll match up with some views of some people, and go against those of others. That's pretty much par for the course. Most of what I said came of as telling people what they should do (intentionally so), even as I was complaining about someone telling people what to do... heh.
So... yeah. The one good thing about being in Australia is the fact that you can read all the reactions at once and post one long sanctamonious reply.
Speaking of sanctamonious replies, Ben and I will be posting or chat online, and hopefully we'll be able to set up some sort of bulletin-board like feature for reaction shots. Of course, the likelihood of anyone giving a shit about what two pretentious wankers have to say about the whole thing is slim, but you never know...
posted by Neale at 2:51 PM on March 29, 2000


Neale writes:
but I'd have to say Ben and my arrogance is well on par (at the very least). If you object to his level of arrogance, well, you're shitting on me as well.
well, from what i sense, his is genuine "im better than you and what i say is right" whereas i find yours to be more cynical and sarcastic, as i already said.

and i think what brig just said, was fantastic and made me think a lot more. im off to work where instead of helping old jewish women who think going to an art house movie thetre makes them cool, ill be studying A.S. Neil and his school Summerhill. That, and postmodernism, i look forward to where this goes further and writing fully what nrig's statement just made me think about. good things...
posted by red scare at 2:58 PM on March 29, 2000


hey matt... so by saying "I don't see elitism on the web, really, I never have, except when people accuse others of it" you are accusing me of being elitist? odd, i had no idea that being upset at the elite subsequently ment you yourself are elite. hmmm, extremely intresting and wrong, sorry.
Oh no, oh no, please don't do this.
i see countless of websites with only 50 hits a day that still put more heart into everything they do.
It's been like this forever, in any sort of creative work. Anyhow, I don't see what's so bad about 'just' 50 hits a day.


posted by EngineBeak at 3:00 PM on March 29, 2000


i think long, eloquent writing is good when it is done well. and i'm glad people do it.  but every time i read "3000+" i feel like cringing.  i know it's not your fault, ben, but god, look what you've spawned.  people can't put up a new journal-style site without mentioning you or throwing out that numeral above.  i know that if such a thing happened to me, i'd be sick for days.  it almost makes me want to take my extended writing back to the print zine where it originally resided.  weblogs-- that's a trend i could get into for awhile, but god, putting a cheesy meme name on lengthy, personal writing?  it just devalues it all.  ugh.
posted by jacksaturn at 3:26 PM on March 29, 2000


Let me set the record straight. When I said "I don't see elitism on the web, really, I never have, except when people accuse others of it" I mean that literally. I never see the word "elitism" nor do I ever get the feeling that someone is being elitist *except* for people writing on their site, saying "hey, those people are elitist!"

I'm not being elitist saying that, and I'm not saying you (red scare) are either, just that I never see any mention of it except for people pointing out what they think is true about someone.

What I'm trying to drive home is that anyone you say is elitist is a perfectly fine person that would talk to you if you walked up to them in real life and introduced yourself. Heck, email them and if they're not too busy (they're not being elitist if they ignore your mail, they probably just get 200-500 messages a day and let some slip), they'll email you back. And that's why I say there's no elitist vibe. When I was a wee web lad, I got email from all sorts of "web celebs" by just asking them thoughtful questions. I never got shrugged off. I never got told my site sucked or I was doing something wrong.

As for someone stopping their site after two years of running it, only because they weren't getting hits, well that's not why I ever did a site, and probably why I haven't retired yet. No one I know with a popular website gives a crap about how many hits they get. I do my sites for fun, as an outlet, and if no one visited, I really wouldn't care, I'd still feel better for having done them.

I check stats on this server, just to know the ratio of how many people lurk to how many people post, but I rarely check stats at haughey.com. They're a pain to get to and analyze so I don't do it very often, and I'm always surprised that people find any of it worth reading.

Popularity isn't at all what the web's about.
posted by mathowie at 3:35 PM on March 29, 2000


this was all just so familiar, I had to pull this from the archives:
From: hanibal@primenet.com (Crazy Uncle Joe)
Subject: PROPOSAL: Eat the Losers
Date: 10 Feb 1997 00:00:00 GMT
newsgroups: alt.society.generation-x

bmiller@scott.skidmore.edu (ionia) said:

the problem is that the listserv *is* exclusionary, and the people on it end up becoming a group that *can* exclude others to the point where it begins to show up on the ng. also, listervs allow the chosen to talk about
the rest of us pond-scum behind our backs , which, from what i've read recently, has happened.


Actually brooke, you are right, listservs are exclusionary. The original listserv (set up right around the time that I got active on the group) was set up because of various dubious personalities that had infested the group (like R*lph T*ite) -
Later on, as people developed closer bonds, it became a place for friends to hang out and talk about things they didn't necessarily want to post in perpetuity (OK, so this was before Deja News, but you get the idea) across the world. Finally, *some* people felt accosted by folks who were regulars, and some regulars abused friendships to the point where they were no longer considered friends.

Y'see, sometimes people want to hang out with folks that they are familiar with. Most of the 'servs have gotten too big for that, and I for one stopped feeling as if I could divulge my "innermost thoughts" even on the listserv, but that's due to the fairly open nature of most of the current 'servs (basically you had to have an asshole track record to be kept off, or behave badly on a consistant basis to get *kicked* off...) - Ultimately, listservs are not the same as
newsgroups. AFAIK, no listservs were created to talk behind people's backs. Yes, people have felt the need occasionally to bitch about this or that person's behaviour, and usually that has gotten back to the individual in spite of the theoretical propriety of the list. That happens.

I'll freely call myself an exclusive a-list bastard, but by that I mean that I reserve the right *not* to invite the entire world to my parties. I also reserve the right to use jokes that are based on a common history amongst my friends. Not everyone will get those jokes, but that's OK. I'm not here to get nominated accessible comedian of the year.

i think it's going to end up being the type of thing where the people who have been accepted onto listservs will rally for their continuation, while those who object to exclusionary tactics, or who have been shut out of a listserv will argue against them.


I'm curious as to what the argument against them would be... "I'm gonna tell my mom and she'll *make* you play with me"? I haven't seen all that much exclusion going on, and I can certainly understand the rational behind what *has* been done. It may not always be 'fair' - but what is, eh? Sometimes I call up Doug to go to a movie or
something, and ya know what? I don't invite anyone else. SOMETIMES, I call up other "A-Listers" on the phone just to chat about stuff... sometimes even stuff that is happening here. YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE? I have a small group of friends that I sometimes send email to, and I actually call the cc: list alias "ALISTERS" !!!

I apologize if I seem to be going off on anyone in particular here, but there is so much post traumatic dodgeball stress going on around here, that I want to scream. I know, I know, everyone is still mad because the "popular" crowd didn't include them. High school is out kids. If you are concerned that your group of friends isn't clever, or funny enough, or that you would suddenly have whiter whites if you could just hang out with the right listserv, then perhaps you should get a little perspective. I'm not the the student body president, Doug isn't the captain of the football team, and, lets face it, Erich was *never* popular in school <> -

Mostly we're all "misfit toys" that have grown into ourselves. Some of us have even managed to get a little self confidence and a very few have managed a positive self image. Oh, and some of us are friends, and like to chat with each other in more intimate surroundings. We're a pretty open group of friends, so feel free to stop by... If you aren't a dick, chances are we'd be glad to have you.
Crazy Uncle
elitist a-list bastard
posted by CrazyUncleJoe at 3:35 PM on March 29, 2000


Plus Ça Change, Plus C'est La Même Chose
posted by brig at 3:44 PM on March 29, 2000


Everything is everything. It's all good. Talk to the hand. I'm out.
posted by chaz at 3:57 PM on March 29, 2000


One more thing: just like everything in weblogging, often it's not really the message but the messenger. Neale and BenBrown both have a... unique... way way of making their points, which is bound to rile some folks, which is their intention in the first place. so again it's all good.
posted by chaz at 3:59 PM on March 29, 2000


The whole elitism thing is captured quite nicely in Sally's little reply to Kevin's e-mail and adam's poking (it's all good! and all via brig).
In a community, people will always feel some sort of elitist divide going on; it's not helped in the weblog community with things like the Hot List and Beebo Ratings as ever present indicators of "how well your blog is doing".
Now, thanks to Anthony, i'm fairly obsessed with my stats, but i'm trying to phase them back out of the way I view my blog (i didn't even have stats until i change hosting services). I'll say it feels nice to get lots of hits - i'd be a big fat liar if I said it didn't - but I like the e-mail I get from people a lot more, and the little corner of the web I can call mine that I can pump into all the creativity that's stifled each day at work.
The 3000+ meme is a worrying one to me (maybe it's not All Good). But maybe it's a misleading name, or one that's been run with, without people thinking about where they're running to.
All this is tied up in how people perceive themselves, and how other people perceive them, and how other people perceive how other people perceive themselves, and how people perceive how other people perceive how they perceive themselves (that does make sense).
I don't know what people think of me, except for the rude e-mails I get and the death threats I find slipped under the door. I don't want to be part of anyone's elite, but the more popular wetlog get's the harder it is to remove myself, in some webloggers eyes, that i'm become part of the weblog cabal (hey, that doesn't give you a good excuse to stop reading, you faithful 12 readers each day [six more than last month]).
I do think it's great that, in the blog community, there are forums like metafilter that people can voice these types of concerns, and that there are people willing to say, "hey, swollen heads, get back down to earth". You all sure as hell have permission to tell me that any time you like (those that don't already).
So. It's All Good. Talk It Out. Don't Hear, Listen. And other such rot.
posted by Neale at 4:27 PM on March 29, 2000


Ben said he worried about:

"a volcano like eruption of bad journals"

ha! it's too late, that happened along with the eruption of good journals, in 1996. , you know.

Thanks for pointing to me, stef!

re: the elitist thing, the heartburning over this in the online world is as nothing compared to the lindy hop dancers. But it exists in every social group. It's all in your point of view. "We are a pleasant group. *they* are a snobby click [sic]!" The fish doesn't notice the water.

Anita of
Anita's BOD and Anita's LOL




posted by anitar at 4:44 PM on March 29, 2000


D'oh! we (I mean me) really need the edit your post function.

Ben said he worried about:

"a volcano like eruption of bad journals"

ha! it's too late, that happened along with the eruption of good journals, in 1996. , you know.

Thanks for pointing to me, stef!

re: the elitist thing, the heartburning over this in the online world is as nothing compared to the lindy hop dancers. But it exists in every social group. It's all in your point of view. "We are a pleasant group. *they* are a snobby click [sic]!" The fish doesn't notice the water.

Anita of Anita's BOD and Anita's LOL


posted by anitar at 4:47 PM on March 29, 2000


re: benbrown is an elitist asshole and this comes through in his writing style.

this is kinda off topic, but in reference to whoever it was that said that I was obviously genuinely an ass based on my writing -- Lately, I've been writing in a kinda first person, present tense, internal dialogue kinda way, and so if I think, even passingly, "this guy is a jerk, I am the most beautiful person alive," I write that down. I find it amusing because it is so obviously not true. You've seen pictures of me, right? It is an act of self parody.

Anyways. I feel icky justifying my writing style so I'm going to stop.

Re the 3000+ Meme: Barf. I really wish that would go away. heh. I mean, write something long, sure. But when we get into categorizing things as diverse as webpages, you get into retarded conversations like this and everyone just gets pissed off at everyone else because we can't tell who is being serious and who is just joking around.


In a completely unrelated topic, I was at this horribly boring XML conference today, and one of the weblogging masses, the guy from Whump recognized me and we had a nice little chat and he's a really nice guy. And I'm really glad he did that because we're doing the same shit, you know? And I love meeting people and talking to people in the same biz. Even webloggers. :)


posted by benbrown at 5:13 PM on March 29, 2000


Well, THIS page is certainly 3000+.
1000+ of them repetitions of the phrase "It's all good".
I just hope this discussion ends pretty soon by itself or I'm going to have to bring up Hitler.


posted by wendell at 5:14 PM on March 29, 2000


You can only do that because I already posted an old link from usenet. (2 more posts, max.)
posted by CrazyUncleJoe at 5:30 PM on March 29, 2000


ass
posted by benbrown at 5:42 PM on March 29, 2000


Uh, oh. Looks like somebody's taking this weblog thing a little too seriously. Somebody's cruising to become the next Scamworld...
posted by wendell at 6:18 PM on March 29, 2000


One day there's gonna be a knock at my door. I'll answer it to find four burly men with baseball bats in the landing. Goon 1 is going to look me in the eye and say,
"This is a little message from the weblog community - SHUT the FUCK UP".
And then I will be hurt. A lot.
posted by Neale at 7:02 PM on March 29, 2000


Who told?
posted by CrazyUncleJoe at 7:10 PM on March 29, 2000


matt - the old softie.
posted by Neale at 7:24 PM on March 29, 2000


Ha, you know I love ya don't ya Neale?

If Brig gives you a kick in the pants when she sees you in a few days, it wasn't from me. I swear. :)
posted by mathowie at 9:37 PM on March 29, 2000


oh, how easily we forget:
mathowie: No one I know with a popular website gives a crap about how many hits they get
think of this in terms of money, a rich man doesn't care how much money he has because at some point it becomes a non-issue. but a poor man...

As for the supposed 'elite', I don't think they really exist. Sure, there is a group of bloggers who are more popular, but thats unavoidable. And tagging somebody with an 'elitist' tag just because they are popular isn't very fair.

Not sure, but maybe the people who think of some bloggers as elitist think that way because of the appearance of constant name-dropping - when its really just friends talking about friends.
posted by schlyer at 9:42 PM on March 29, 2000


dammnit. i wanted to surprise neale with the baseball bat (the one with the blogger logo stamped on it, right next to "this is a message from the weblog community..."). it's no fun if he's waiting for it.
posted by brig at 9:57 PM on March 29, 2000


yawn, i come home and there are 24365236452570183576548 posts and i am way too lazy to read them, that and i have homework.

so, i think everyone is right... to each his own yes?
posted by red scare at 11:19 PM on March 29, 2000


the funny thing about the whole thing is that there's a lot of love in the room right now, isn't there? We all love this weblogging thing! BenBrown may have been a lil' slow to catch on but can you blame him? He seems like a fairly busy guy and all. In the end we're all just amazed that we can just type out a few thoughts, maybe throw in a link, throw it up and ten seconds later and people actually READ it! Holy shit what a concept. We're all sitting on an intellectual goldmine here and we're sitting around arguing about what's the better way to do it because we care about it so much and.... it's all good. everything is everything.
posted by chaz at 11:23 PM on March 29, 2000


btw does anyone else want the next metafilter feature to be spell check? or am i just anal
posted by chaz at 11:27 PM on March 29, 2000


Dang, but it's overwhelming to settle in for a pre-bedtime MetaFilter fix and discover that there have been 60+ comments posted since my last visit. And then to discover that they're mostly from the Department of Navel Contemplation. Well, sigh.



We keep returning to these themes of popularity, elitism, incestuous linking and internecine metametametastuff, both here and in dozens of weblogs. I'd wager that at least 40 per cent or more of the weblogs I regularly read are given over to "blogging culture" trivia, personality wars and other minutae. (I don't have hard figures to back it up, but this is the contemporary web after all. I can assert something such as this with only some vague anecdotal evidence and have it taken as true.)



As Captain Picard asked, in the opening moments of "Star Trek: Insurrection", "Does anyone remember when we used to be explorers?".



So, then, popularity? I think I can speak with some authority on this subject, since I am THE MOST POPULAR WEBLOGGER ALIVE (tm). Actually, I'm not. I am one of those earnest little websites that "red scare" alluded to earlier. I get 50-60 visitors per day, a rate that -- with only occasional spikes -- has remained constant almost as long as I've kept a weblog, since mid-1998.



A few weeks ago, though, I tweaked the nose of the weblogs.com hotlist -- you may remember, it caused a little moment -- and, for 24 hours, through guile and deceit, catapulted to the top of the list. I decided thereafter to retain the mantle I had claimed for that brief time. I would be and thusly proclaim myself (with tongue planted in cheek), despite any future evidence to the contrary, THE MOST POPULAR WEBLOGGER ALIVE. I have no need of independent verification, Beebo, Bloat, Mr. Blackwell or otherwise.



There's a sign over my desk that reads "Fame is what they give you. Success is what you give yourself." As far as this mincing about popularity is concerned, that's all I need to know.



Elitism? Please. Any assertion that anyone who wasn't at SXSW doesn't matter is, you'll pardon the expression, deep-fried bulldung on a stick. I went to Austin knowing no one, having corresponded with only one or two of the folks I would end up spending the bulk of my time with. I left having met and made friends of some two dozen folks who enriched me emotionally and creatively. Everyone -- "webgod" (Please.) or otherwise -- was warm, approachable and generous of time and spirit. As I tried to be in return.



One of the most wonderful moments I experienced during the whole week was sitting in a dark nightclub with three or four of the people routinely singled out as "elite" or "cliquish." We spent an hour and a couple of rounds of Shiner brainstorming ways -- financial or otherwise -- that we could help make the wonderful experience we were having more accessible to more people next year. If there were, in other quarters, secret cabals meeting to conspire to leave out "lesser" mortals, I wasn't invited to those parties. I doubt Janeane Garofalo was either.



With luck, next year I'll meet at least two dozen more new friends and catch up with some old ones. Maybe Ben and I can compare notes on feather boas; I scarcely got to say "hi" to him this year and I should have made more effort to do so. He's pretty cute.



This more-meta-than-thou nonsense is tiresome and played out. The whole web -- blogs, journals, diaries, dancing hamsters -- is, as has often been said, "just people doin' stuff." I have one remaining thing to say about the weblog "community" and I'll say it on or about June 4, in The BradLands. Until and after then, I'm seceding from the weblog nation; no more meta-stuff or cross-talk in my weblog. I'll either find another place for it or stop it altogether. It's not doin' stuff, it's just talking about doin' stuff.



Pardon the screed. It's past my bedtime and I probably have another 60 comments to read by now. A year ago, I published Why I Weblog. Some well-intentioned hyperbole aside, the "why" hasn't changed. The "how" is evolving. The true "community" will come, eventually, as long as we all keep doin' stuff.
posted by bradlands at 12:03 AM on March 30, 2000



Jeeeeeeeezuz!
Calm down folks...do what you want to do.
To quote the MetaFilter motto, "It's your web, log it".

'Nuff said.
posted by tomcosgrave at 11:35 AM on March 30, 2000


Brad, don't start getting serious on us NOW!
I'm enjoying the show and enjoying being part of the show, partly as an entertainment in itself, partly as an education in how a self-defining community evolves and how a subset of a subset of a communications media evolves, only occuring at a hyperspeed that makes heads spin and necks ache.
Maybe the Medium is the Message, maybe the Messenger is the Message, maybe Content is King, maybe Content is Crap, maybe I DON'T HAVE THE FOGGIEST IDEA WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!!
I'll just say it is NOT all good, but IT IS ALL BETTER THAN LATE-NIGHT INFOMERCIALS ON CHANNEL 12.
posted by wendell at 12:23 PM on March 30, 2000


The realdeal's frontcover sez, "The Medium is the Massage".
posted by EngineBeak at 12:43 PM on March 30, 2000


Now this is just silly...does anyone see the irony in the length of this thread?
posted by cedar at 12:48 PM on March 30, 2000


irony? what's that?

posted by chaz at 2:55 PM on March 30, 2000


From the Naive Optimism Department:

In a web that is trying its best to become the world's largest mail-order catalog, I'm glad to see so many people worked up over writing. Really. I had half become convinced that writers were going to be replaced by the thousand monkeys project. All this passion over mere words just makes me feel better about the future of the Internet.
posted by mrmorgan at 2:56 PM on March 30, 2000


It's the Energizer Bunny of MetaFilter strings. It was 17 postings ago that I pointed out that we'd gone well past 3000+ words. How do we stop this out-of-control rhetorical train? Maybe if Mathowie moved it to the MetaTalk page...
posted by wendell at 2:57 PM on March 30, 2000


Oh you wacky weblogger folks - you're all growed up now! Infighting, accusations of elitism and popularity. By god, you're ready to play with the big boys.

JournalCon, baby. Can you handle it?

http://www.journalcon.com
posted by gsh at 6:32 PM on March 30, 2000


Since when is 637 words long? As a semi-professional writer, my publisher would [pardon the expression] bitch-slap me if I tried to submit something that short.
posted by August at 7:29 PM on March 30, 2000


It figures. Someone has to try to bust my bubble. After eschewing so-called measures of popularity (or measures of so-called popularity), I was e-mailed a link ostensibly proving that, while I am more popular than Mahir (?!?!), I am slightly less well regarded than Jenni or The Lance. Color me surprised.

(Spread the meme: is the emoticon for irony.)
posted by bradlands at 9:20 PM on March 30, 2000


Yay August! If you look at putdownthekeyboard compared to the other articles I write, you'll notice is was a lot shorter. I knew the word length would eventually come up, and was tempted to make it 666 words long, but how much of a wanker can one be? Bitch-slap away!
posted by Neale at 9:22 PM on March 30, 2000


But Brad, you're more useful than the JenniCan.

that's kind of like getting the Miss Congeniality award...
posted by mathowie at 9:46 PM on March 30, 2000


Hmmm...talk about damning with faint praise. Incidentally, that call to meme above should have read "< Fe >" is the emoticon for irony.
posted by bradlands at 10:17 PM on March 30, 2000


Yeah, and though he's just as fast, he's not as easy.

Sorry, Brad, had to.
posted by jason at 10:18 PM on March 30, 2000


Word.
posted by sixfoot6 at 12:31 AM on March 31, 2000


i'm sorry, but the phrase 'it's all good' gets to me when people talk about web stuff.

because you know what? it's NOT all good. that phrase steamrolls the idea of critical thought, both on the part of those producing and on the part of those consuming. and in today's overglutted age of information, the ability to discern what is 'all good' from what is not is crucial. sure, go into things with an open mind, don't hate things on their face because of the form of expression of what-have-you, that's fine, but allow the post-consumption thought-process to, you know, kick (your head) in from time to time.
posted by maura at 7:42 AM on March 31, 2000


(trust me Maura, I hate hearing that phrase more than anything, even though I've had to use it more often in the past month than my entire life combined)

I guess the phrase "it's all good" is being used from the perspective of authors and not readers. This all started with Ben and Neale, joking or not, suggesting that people *not* write someting a certain way. And the backlash to that is the idea that anyone who feels like writing anything should, regardless of what anyone might think.

If you write with that in mind, sure it might be crap, but someone else might find it worthy of reading, or even if we can all agree it's crap, writing crap might help you develop into a better writer, or at least better than if you never tried.

I guess I don't like the idea of anyone saying someone shouldn't do something like write a personal page. And I get pissed when I think of someone reading Ben or Neale or anyone else's articles about the wrong or right way to do things and getting discouraged from doing something on the web.

The web, like life, is already 90% crap and wading through that is a chore, but that's what we do everyday, that's how we've developed our critical thinking skills all our life - finding the gold among all the crap. I guess I'd prefer my 90% of crap if it were personal, created by real people with stories and dreams, instead of a web chock full of e-commerce sites.
posted by mathowie at 8:39 AM on March 31, 2000


Maura,
I think (at least from my perspective) that "it's all good" refers to the form, not the product. Long form as a valid mode of expression == good. Short form == good. Medium form with pictures==good. That doesn't mean that every journal out there is good, or that every weblog is good - not at all. Most of it, from a critical standpoint, isn't "good". My stuff isn't good from a technical standpoint (although I hope that it's at least passable from an entertainment standpoint), but that doesn't mean that the format is bad. It means that I didn't pay attention in my writing classes.
posted by CrazyUncleJoe at 8:55 AM on March 31, 2000


Uh... I guess Matt said what I was trying to say while I was trying to say it. Nothing to see here folks, move along.
posted by CrazyUncleJoe at 8:56 AM on March 31, 2000


Go thread, go!! (Next week, more filter, less meta, or your next visit's free.)
posted by bradlands at 11:38 AM on March 31, 2000


I'd sure like to see what happens when this thread reaches 100 comments...
posted by wendell at 12:39 PM on March 31, 2000


...and I'm willing to do my part...
posted by wendell at 12:40 PM on March 31, 2000


...to help make it happen.
posted by wendell at 12:40 PM on March 31, 2000


At 100 post I think Matt grows a third eye or something
posted by dangerman at 12:55 PM on March 31, 2000


Good lord! This makes me very anxious about entering into the fray with my new weblog. Maybe I'll just keep it a secret...and write mile-long posts!
posted by Awol at 1:23 PM on March 31, 2000


Growing a 3rd eye? Will there be pictures if/when 100 posts happens? Where is this going? I liked the short version but then it became funnier as posts grew longer. It at least made me laugh as people continue to write in.
posted by brent at 1:49 PM on March 31, 2000


Does this mean we're a couple links short of a full weblog? And wouldn't that take the discussion full circle back to what constitutes a full weblog? Or have I just put the keyboard down and back away from the MetaFilter? (Yep, definately having too much fun... too much fun...)
posted by wendell at 2:19 PM on March 31, 2000


TAKE TWO: Does this mean we're a couple links short of a full weblog? And wouldn't that take the discussion full circle back to what constitutes a full weblog? Or have I just fallen off the end of the end of the internet? (Warning: blatant self-promotion) Or should I just put the keyboard down and back away from the MetaFilter? (yep, definately time to go outside and play in traffic)
posted by wendell at 2:21 PM on March 31, 2000


Ah, yes. Topic drift. We're definitely getting into Usenet/listserv territory. Steve will be so proud. Giggle.
posted by bradlands at 2:27 PM on March 31, 2000


Back on the "It's all good" meme, and the idea of preventing critical thinking...
As the term "weblog" is still in the definition phase it makes it very hard (and probably intentionally so) to say, "hey, that's a weblog" or "hey, that's not a weblog". What I have in my mind about weblog is commentary about the outside world, usually in short format, which includes links to the topics being talked about, updated at ir/regular intervals.
Now, weblogs are starting to point inwards, (though some, eg. Jack have been doing that for yonks - unwadded the undies, thanks), which starts to tear down the inward/outward arguement; but when you go for a definition of something, you tend towards the norm, rather than the exceptions (eg... there may be a green cat, but you would never define cats as being green).
Now the "idea" of what a weblog is will always stay fairly general; but you know one when you see one. Just like you know a journal when you see one. And there is a difference between the two. Length and subject matter are the main differentiators. We might start seeing blournals, or jogs, which are a mixture between the two. They might work, they might not.
But blogging, in it's present form, is working, and working well. Some of the longest running site I can think of (eg. Kumite.com, which has been running a virus blog loooong before the word started cropping up).
There shouldn't been a huge problem with accepting that certain styles of writing work for certain media. You wouldn't write for a newspaper the same way you write for an online scientific journal. It may be a fantastic statement, or revolutionary piece of artwork, but it won't become the norm. It won't work.
Now, I don't know if jogs will work. They may well turn out to be fantastic. But, if they don't, only one or two truly talented people will be able to pull them off with any kind of success.
So. There. IT'S ALL GOOD!

If this thread gets to 100 comments, I'll consider it my April's Fools Day Joke, through lack of anything better.

posted by Neale at 6:39 PM on March 31, 2000


Why stop at 100? Make this thread its own weblog. Oh, wait, it already is.
posted by jason at 7:55 PM on March 31, 2000


Approximately 9700 words. "it's all good" appears 13 times. "meme" appears 7 times. Make that 14 & 8, respectively.
posted by EngineBeak at 7:57 PM on March 31, 2000


That's it. We're pushing this puppy to 10k.
It's like that seinfeld episode, where Kramer and the car-salesman (i think) are driving a car for as long as they can with the gas slowly dwindling, driving for the pure experience of reaching the bottom of the tank.
I was thinking about seinfeld as a comparison to weblogging (and there's the whole e/n scene). I was thinking that journals point outward, weblogs inward. I still think that webloggers may sometimes speak about themselves on their blog, but there are very rarely any true moments of introspection; about as often as their are on seinfeld. Sometimes I think that weblogs don't even have the "everything" advantage that the e/n community does, and that weblogs talk a lot about nothing.
Now, I know that's not true. And I'm probably suffering from weblog overload; i've only been doing it for 6 months, and i'm wondering where the hell i'm gonna go with it.
I've been watching a documentary series about modern art over the past few weeks, and find myself associating the weblog community with the modern art world; one artist, name instantly forgotten, painted a thirty foot long canvas filled with names of other modern artists - sort of a "hot list" (actually called the "hip list") for modern art, as modern art. If that doesn't come close as an analogy to bloat or the blogbloggers, i don't know what does. has the entire weblog community entered the realm of self parody? Have I?
I find myself associating with Dali, in the realm of modern-artists-as-webloggers. Shamelessly self promoting, stirring trouble, infatuated with sex, and popularity, and yet bizarrely incapable of normality at home, or at work...
I like this place. I've settled down here. But, like ben has said (and I can no longer recall if it's here, or in the page i haven't put online yet), too many creative minds have abandoned great websites for blogs. As did i... i haven't updated my first site since the turn of the century, and may never do so (i'm thinking of porting it all to wwgb.com, archiving it and putting it down).
Six months. Seems weird, and now I get e-mails from complete strangers who read the site and hate what I say... hmm... and I wonder, does it matter? I didn't know the blog community until a blogger introduced me to it. Is it that insular, or has the recent press stirred up enough outside knowledge to make it open?
Aaaack. Too much thought process. And now that I'm going to have to devote time to a meatspace book, will I still find time to blog, or enough creative energy to fuck things up around here?
Ah well. I only post this here, as opposed to wetlog, because I know noone is going to check this thread anymore, and that it will soon drop off the end of the metafilter main page.

posted by Neale at 5:11 AM on April 1, 2000 [1 favorite]


Well, that pushed it well beyond 10k. And after this post, there's only another five posts needed. Wendell? Unky J? Adam, you've got my back... right?
posted by Neale at 5:17 AM on April 1, 2000


But since Mathowie put up his April 1st format, you can't see how many comments there are! And, hey, how can you do a DaveClone without adding exclamation points?
It's all good! barf
posted by wendell at 7:38 AM on April 1, 2000


What? Nobody's spoofing Ben Brown for April Fool's Day? I was planning on going medieval on his site, but it's a real drag to write a parody of 3000+ words.
posted by wendell at 11:00 AM on April 1, 2000


Alas, if RL-intrusions on my spare time and FTP woes hadn't come to pass, you might have been treated to "8888 Words About 44 Webloggers" (with props to The Nails) for my All Fool's Day homage to Ben. But, prithee, is it not all Much Ado About Nothing?
posted by bradlands at 1:22 PM on April 1, 2000


Even without the 8888 Words, BRAD NAILS IT.
posted by wendell at 2:03 PM on April 1, 2000


Whoops! Looks like the 100th post didn't give mathowie an extra eyes. In fact, in the new site design, his head has disappeared completely. Aieeeee!
posted by bradlands at 2:59 PM on April 1, 2000


The 'us vs. them','insider vs. outsider' weblog circle jerk never fails to amuse me. Not to be too harsh, but most of you people bore the hell out of me, what with your whining and name dropping. What you're doing ain't that important or earth shattering! In fact it reminds me of the high school bullshit that I ran from screaming. As far as weblogs go, do what you like: everything else is bullshit!

Enough already, I've got my own weblogs to work on. . .
posted by spacecoyote at 10:47 AM on April 2, 2000


Looks like Coyote summed it up....but I got the last post ;-)
posted by tomcosgrave at 5:08 PM on April 4, 2000


No you didn't.
posted by Neale at 5:34 PM on April 4, 2000


Nope, not even close.
posted by wendell at 6:33 PM on April 4, 2000


Incidentally, can we move the 'us vs. them','insider vs. outsider' weblog circle jerk to Friday this week? I have a conflict on Thursday.
posted by bradlands at 7:02 PM on April 4, 2000


Well for good humor, you may wish to run this chain through the dialectizer,
shredder, or
Valley Girl.



posted by brent at 7:06 PM on April 4, 2000


I still want the last word. And wendell, I won't let you get there. Call me petty. Call me immature. You know I'll go through with it.
Remember the meta?
posted by Neale at 5:26 PM on May 25, 2000


I mean it. I really do.
posted by Neale at 5:30 PM on May 25, 2000


It's a challenge I can't ignore. "Yes, it would be meaningless, but what of that?". I quite agree. It would be meaningless. Quite. And immature and selfish for me to try and prevent it. Especially when there are so many against but one.
Ah well. I'm in it for the long haul.
posted by Neale at 7:18 PM on May 25, 2000


It's a challenge I can't ignore. "Yes, it would be meaningless, but what of that?". I quite agree. It would be meaningless. Quite. And immature and selfish for me to try and prevent it. Especially when there are so many against but one.
Ah well. I'm in it for the long haul.
posted by Neale at 7:19 PM on May 25, 2000


Whoops, double posted that last one. Oh well.
posted by Neale at 7:20 PM on May 25, 2000


In this moment of quiet reflection, I wonder if I have too much time on my hands. dangerman claims the new mf thread is a chance to build something meaningful on the web. Is that possible? Could it be that the web is ultimately meaningless, a waste of space by people with too much time on their hands. Is anyone really making money. Does anybody really make art here? Does anyone really care?
posted by Neale at 7:22 PM on May 25, 2000


Why am I talking to myself. Oh, that's right.
Vanity.
posted by Neale at 7:23 PM on May 25, 2000


Maybe I should just shut down wetlog (note gratioutous plug only I will ever read - how vain is that?) and only post here from now on. It has it's own url.
That's a fucking brilliant idea. MF - home of wetlog.
posted by Neale at 7:25 PM on May 25, 2000


I wonder if Matt will mind this little coup. It's only part of the MF whole; maybe my charm and sofistication will add to the ambience around here.
Ah well. Time to start blogging for wetlog.
posted by Neale at 7:28 PM on May 25, 2000


wetlog

- insane, inane.
posted by Neale at 7:29 PM on May 25, 2000


Quoth
posted by Neale at 7:30 PM on May 25, 2000


Should of got a better lawyer.
posted by Neale at 7:30 PM on May 25, 2000


Scary shit. They couldn't give me a call first? Actually, I now have a redesign idea coming on... [via ZZZXYZ]
posted by Neale at 7:32 PM on May 25, 2000


Scary shit. They couldn't give me a call first? Actually, I now have a redesign idea coming on... [via ZZZXYZ]
posted by Neale at 7:33 PM on May 25, 2000


ROD: Australian online church, replete with 8 webcams.
posted by Neale at 7:33 PM on May 25, 2000


Jason, those ads are not Australian. They are from New Zealand. You couldn't type in the Butch URL to find that out?
posted by Neale at 7:34 PM on May 25, 2000


Who won? I was sick yesterday... somebody please fill me in.
posted by Neale at 7:34 PM on May 25, 2000


From the referrer logs:

#reqs: URL
-----: ---
8: http://www.snottke.org/

#reqs: browser
-----: -------
8: I have photos of Neale with a shampoo bottle in his arse...

An interesting correlation.
posted by Neale at 7:37 PM on May 25, 2000


________________

24.5.00


posted by Neale at 7:50 PM on May 25, 2000


Round 3, "Alcohol", begins.
posted by Neale at 7:52 PM on May 25, 2000


Jason K. has plans for an automated content system for kottke.org (check the source and search for the post for May 24 if it's not been posted yet). It's sounds much like part of the random blog that Jason S., Matt K. and I are developing. The race is on!
posted by Neale at 7:56 PM on May 25, 2000


Oh shit, they noticed. Damnit. Oh well.

I'll see you all in hell.
posted by Neale at 7:58 PM on May 25, 2000


I'll have a need for her soon. [via metafilter, easily the best blog around at the moment]
posted by Neale at 7:59 PM on May 25, 2000


The third round in The Great Blog-Off is ready to go off tonight. Tracy will be pitting her wits against James. The topic will be announced same bat time, same bat place on IRC.
In related news, the 7th contestant can be named... Jon "Twernt" Litfin. Who will he be up against..? I'm not sure, actually. There have be so many applicants for the final spot. I'll be sending out an e-mail to those that have applied, so if you haven't heard from me yet, stay tuned.
posted by Neale at 8:02 PM on May 25, 2000


Finally, after many moons, someone has created a Sim "Blair Witch" Movie. Yer my hero, JMH (he also contributed a lot to Sims: The Challenged).
posted by Neale at 8:03 PM on May 25, 2000


100 was a challenge. 200 will be a walkover.
posted by Neale at 8:03 PM on May 25, 2000


Nick suggested that I replace my hurting brain with a new one. [luckily this didn't update after the Amazon redesign]
posted by Neale at 8:05 PM on May 25, 2000


If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.
posted by wendell at 8:06 PM on May 25, 2000


Then you can get close enough to REALLY beat the crap out of 'em.
posted by wendellseviltwin at 8:09 PM on May 25, 2000


Woohoo! You go, Wendell!
posted by Neale at 8:10 PM on May 25, 2000


That should probably be Wendell.
posted by Neale at 8:10 PM on May 25, 2000


But not Wilbur
posted by Neale at 8:12 PM on May 25, 2000


________________

23.5.00


posted by Neale at 8:13 PM on May 25, 2000


All right, that's enough kids, break it up, break it up. Do your parents know where you are right now? How about if I give them a call, have 'em come down to the station and pick you u... is that alcohol on your breath Neale? How about you Wendell twins? You been buying hooch for little Neale here? You know you're contributing to the deliquency of a minor in doing that, I can run you all in on that....
posted by mathowie at 8:16 PM on May 25, 2000


damn you, damn you all to hell
posted by Neale at 8:16 PM on May 25, 2000


My brain hurts.
posted by Neale at 8:17 PM on May 25, 2000


If you've read HST's "Hell's Angels", then you might want to chat with Sonny.
posted by Neale at 8:18 PM on May 25, 2000


86% of consumers disapprove of animal blood being fed to other animals. Not including humans.
posted by Neale at 8:19 PM on May 25, 2000


Post previous comments.... what an ingenious idea.
posted by Neale at 8:20 PM on May 25, 2000


(trust me Maura, I hate hearing that phrase more than anything, even though I've had to use it more often in the past month than my entire life combined)

I guess the phrase "it's all good" is being used from the perspective of authors and not readers. This all started with Ben and Neale, joking or not, suggesting that people *not* write someting a certain way. And the backlash to that is the idea that anyone who feels like writing anything should, regardless of what anyone might think.

If you write with that in mind, sure it might be crap, but someone else might find it worthy of reading, or even if we can all agree it's crap, writing crap might help you develop into a better writer, or at least better than if you never tried.

I guess I don't like the idea of anyone saying someone shouldn't do something like write a personal page. And I get pissed when I think of someone reading Ben or Neale or anyone else's articles about the wrong or right way to do things and getting discouraged from doing something on the web.

The web, like life, is already 90% crap and wading through that is a chore, but that's what we do everyday, that's how we've developed our critical thinking skills all our life - finding the gold among all the crap. I guess I'd prefer my 90% of crap if it were personal, created by real people with stories and dreams, instead of a web chock full of e-commerce sites.
posted by mathowie at 8:39 AM PST on March 31 | permalink


posted by Neale at 8:21 PM on May 25, 2000


why do i get the feeling i'm going to break MF?
First Vox Pop, then MF. Is there no community-based tool I won't destroy (apologies in advance, matt).
posted by Neale at 8:23 PM on May 25, 2000


Hey, I just noticed that there are only 23 more people needed for there to be an even 1000 MF users.
23. Sign of the illuminati. Beware, Beware.
posted by Neale at 8:24 PM on May 25, 2000


Well, I'll have cracked 150 next post. Only 50 more to go after that. And it's just little 'ol me. Unless I encourage people to join in back on wetlog.
Now there's an idea. I seem to be full of them.
posted by Neale at 8:26 PM on May 25, 2000


See, this is why I never volunteered myself for the blog-off. I didn't want to make anyone feel embarrassed.
posted by Neale at 8:29 PM on May 25, 2000


151
posted by sylloge at 8:31 PM on May 25, 2000


Sorry matt. It's just the enevitable playing itself out early in the life of MF. Better now than when there are 2000 odd members.
2000 members. I know a porno by the same name...
posted by Neale at 8:35 PM on May 25, 2000


Hey Sylloge, are you blind? It's there, in all it's glory. Oh wait, you noticed. Fuck you too?
posted by Neale at 8:37 PM on May 25, 2000


This is why there needs to be a comments limit on MF. For idiots like me.
posted by Neale at 8:40 PM on May 25, 2000 [1 favorite]


I need to get some lunch. La-dee-da. Ho-hum.

I'm so ashamed.
posted by Neale at 8:42 PM on May 25, 2000


Is he gone? Can the rest of us come out now?
posted by wendell at 8:43 PM on May 25, 2000


User ID 161 revoked.No, Matt, NO! Don't do it....
AAAaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuguuguguggghghgdgsdsgkfdgdkfsdfglqergjq
qwerty
*

posted by Neale at 8:43 PM on May 25, 2000


That's just one of the many possible endings to this scenario.
posted by Neale at 9:06 PM on May 25, 2000


So the big Z is starting to post his junk mail. That's a dirty, rotten thing to do. It'll work, but, by gum, you'll never take our freedom.
CHAAAAAAARGE!

Right, now I'm making no sense at all.
posted by Neale at 9:11 PM on May 25, 2000


Awful.netIs not up and running yet. But I bet I know who'd be their main attraction.
Me.
posted by Neale at 9:13 PM on May 25, 2000


**********************************************
** THIS IS A WARNING MESSAGE ONLY **
** YOU DO NOT NEED TO RESEND YOUR MESSAGE **
**********************************************

The original message was received at Tue, 23 May 2000 19:27:46 -0700 (PDT)
from webring@localhost

----- The following addresses had transient non-fatal errors -----
linkslut@squiggle.cjb.net

----- Transcript of session follows -----
linkslut@squiggle.cjb.net... Deferred: Connection refused by mail.cjb.net.
Warning: message still undelivered after 4 hours
Will keep trying until message is 5 days old
posted by Neale at 9:15 PM on May 25, 2000


Well that's pretty boring. No need for commentary with that kind of crap abounding on the web.
You know what I like about junkmail? Frequent use of the word 'cum'.
posted by Neale at 9:16 PM on May 25, 2000


Yet another e-mail service. I wonder if I could use it to spam others.
Hi, my name is Neale, and I would like you to come to my Hot Horny Web Site...

posted by Neale at 9:17 PM on May 25, 2000


Get a stick up ya.

Now that's just plain rude. Bad neale, bad! I think it's time for a spanking.
And then...
THE ORAL SEX! (in hushed wispers - 'the oral sex, the oral sex')
posted by Neale at 9:25 PM on May 25, 2000


Dear Neale Talbot,

WHY NOT PUT YOURSELF ON THE WEB?
Create a personal site with register.comTM -- www.NealeTalbot.com or www.aboutNealeTalbot.com are especially unique ways to share information about yourself and your hobbies, interests, and ideas. Set up a website with your bio and resume, display photos in your own online gallery, publish your opinions... the possibilities are endless and it takes only a few minutes!
http://register1.m0.net/m/s.asp?H1408572299X721816
posted by Neale at 9:26 PM on May 25, 2000


Could I make a weblog? I've always wanted a weblog.
posted by Neale at 9:29 PM on May 25, 2000


A stream of conciousness weblog would be cool. I've always wanted to know how to spell consioucneses. I've never been any good at spelling. I used to spell 'there' as 'vere', as I spell things like I pronounce them. that makes life a little difficult, but i've always been a little difficult too, so who's to say otherwise?
posted by Neale at 9:34 PM on May 25, 2000


Gotta keep on moving, no time to stop. Post no 168 gone and done.
One day I'll reach 1000. Are you prepared for that, Matt?
(That's a joke, right?)
posted by Neale at 9:42 PM on May 25, 2000


One day there's gonna be a knock at my door. I'll answer it to find four burly men with baseball bats in the landing. Goon 1 is going to look me in the eye and say,

"This is a little message from the weblog community - SHUT the FUCK UP".

And then I will be hurt. A lot.
posted by Neale at 7:02 PM PST on March 29 | permalink


posted by wendellseviltwin at 10:25 PM on May 25, 2000


So this is the new wetlog, eh? Glad that bloody red thing is gone - what the hell is that, anyway? And blue - very soothing. Yes, it looks pretty comfy around here. But you're going to have to change the name. Hmm... WetaFilter. Nice.
posted by rory at 10:37 PM on May 25, 2000


Yeah, the whole red-thing was just holding me back. I need to be able to blog in the quiet and serenity.
Now, I fully expect the other effort going on by some jackasses (wilbur?) will overtake this thread sometime while I sleep tonight, but reast assured I will be back with a vengence tomorrow. Until then, I rely on those that come here to post something.
You know you want to.
posted by Neale at 10:56 PM on May 25, 2000


The WetaFilter is only found in Australia and is sooooo old, it has outlived the dinosaurs!
WetaFilters are large by weblog standards but some of the giant WetaFilters are ENORMOUS and include the heaviest weblogs in the world
The WetaFilter is sometimes known as the dinosaur of the weblog world
The WetaFilter is more primitive than the wetlog
The WetaFilter has changed very little in the past 100 MILLION YEARS!

posted by rory at 11:20 PM on May 25, 2000


i would just like to publically declare my love of neale.
posted by adam at 2:50 AM on May 26, 2000


Hmm. If long posts are bad, I'm the devil's sidekick. I tend to ramble on and on when I blog, hopping from subject to subject like an ape on a mescaline/methamphetamine cocktail, resisting all urges to behave myself.

I know few read me, and yet I continue. I suspect that even few understand what I write, and yet that doesn't slow me down. I just go on and on like a Viking at a buffet.

Well, not this time. But usually.
posted by Ezrael at 7:46 AM on May 26, 2000


adam, haven't you already publicly declared your love of neale... several times?
(not that I disapprove)
posted by rabi at 3:16 PM on May 26, 2000


Well, we made it through the torrid evening, and despite the best efforts of the opposition, and the mighty avalanche of e-mail telling me what a dickhead I am, this thread has come out victorious; still 20 posts ahead. Maybe it'll make it to 200. Maybe it won't. Wendell had it nailed though; to silence me would mean to silence Zeldman as well... and who's gonna do that? (I know matt actually does have the balls to do that, but I gotta say, it's good that all this plays out in the wonder years of MeFi's life; besides, think of all the attention MeFi's been getting over the past days or two).
So. Let's slouch towards Bethlehem. Or something.
posted by Neale at 4:04 PM on May 26, 2000


It's Memorial Day weekend... I'm slouching toward San Diego, myself.
posted by wendell at 4:32 PM on May 26, 2000


Neale, what the hell are you up to now? And are psychological exams going to be involved? Because my constitution just isn't up to handling that sort of event structure.
posted by jason at 10:08 AM on May 28, 2000


I'm depressed.
posted by Neale at 2:34 PM on May 29, 2000


I'm impressed.
He's repressed.
They're compressed.
We're all hard-pressed to do better.
posted by wendell at 8:27 PM on May 30, 2000


Well, it's not like I need the encouragement, do I? I mean, really? Do I?
posted by Neale at 4:30 PM on September 27, 2000


To Do List: make thread closer for MetaFilter.
posted by mathowie at 5:39 PM on September 27, 2000


I've got a staplegun you can borrow...
posted by CrazyUncleJoe at 11:56 PM on September 27, 2000


Man, that's close. Personally, I don't like those odds. You can take my life, but you can never take my freedom to make excessively long metafilter threads! Aaarrrrrrrrggggghh!
posted by Neale at 3:50 PM on February 11, 2001


This tool is now a weapon of extremism. I shall not be beaten! There can be only one (or have I used that one already?)!
posted by Neale at 4:08 PM on February 11, 2001


Neale's silly.
posted by cCranium at 6:45 AM on February 12, 2001


Neale's silly.
What, you've just figured that out?
posted by Avogadro at 11:11 AM on February 12, 2001


no, I figured it out over a day ago now!
posted by cCranium at 5:07 PM on February 13, 2001


That makes three of us.
posted by Neale at 7:31 PM on February 14, 2001


whoa neale what made you pick this post up again after 5 months? Still smarting?
posted by chaz at 10:19 PM on February 14, 2001


It was actually this MetaTalk thread. His title's in jeopardy.
posted by cCranium at 3:05 PM on February 15, 2001


By the way, if you're looking for me here after the dissolution of wetlog you are an A-GRADE LOSER. I love you!
posted by Neale at 10:40 PM on February 22, 2001


You're a bad man, Neale...
posted by Avogadro at 8:20 AM on February 23, 2001


They say that Neale is a bad mutha
posted by CrazyUncleJoe at 10:56 AM on February 23, 2001


...SHUT YOUR MOUTH!
posted by Avogadro at 10:15 AM on February 26, 2001


Aww.. I knew all the cool kids were hanging out somewhere without me. A pox on you all!
posted by jess at 11:46 PM on February 27, 2001


shhhhhhh! keep it down...

and close the door, you're letting smoke go in the hallway...
posted by Avogadro at 4:49 PM on March 1, 2001


Holy shit! That's some powerful commenting going on. 146 comments in 3 hours? Jeeeebus! I've gotta get cracking!
posted by Neale at 3:32 PM on March 29, 2001


Did you know that I've sold out to EA and started an "official" weblog of Majestic? Signed a contract and everything. I can tell you about it now, even though it's not finished. And, in the spirit of the game, I'm announcing it here.
posted by Neale at 3:37 PM on March 29, 2001


At this point I fear interest in this thread might spring up. Younger members of the MeFi tradition might wonder why I do this.

Well it's a matter of pride. Of devotion. Of stupidity. Of ensuring that the longest thread on MeFi is (a) started by Matt and (b) about me in some way. Now, that might sound like self-important grandeur to you, and that's because it is. But, and let's be straight here kids, it's hard work. Especially with 4500 bloody members posting silly comments about their flame-emails in another thread. But I will prevail. You may have the might, but time is on my side baby.

Hail to the king.
posted by Neale at 3:42 PM on March 29, 2001


Besides, what's the big deal. My design is fucking everywhere at the moment (and I admit it, I got help from outside my brain on it, but still)... as a newly-found authority (*cough cough*) on web design, I say....

Make the bastards pay!

I mean...

Let design be free!

I mean...

Ah fuck it. Why the hell are you even reading this?
posted by Neale at 3:48 PM on March 29, 2001


Must post, must post. Gotta get that count up.

This posts counts too you know. It's petty... but so am I.
posted by Neale at 3:49 PM on March 29, 2001


Has this thread reached the magical 200 posts yet?
posted by Neale at 3:50 PM on March 29, 2001


What about now?
posted by Neale at 3:51 PM on March 29, 2001


Of course, even if I'm overtaken by the we-love-you-matt we're-so-offended-we-might-die thread, I won't give up.

Live a pheonix from the ashes, I will rise again.
posted by Neale at 3:52 PM on March 29, 2001


And again.
posted by Neale at 3:53 PM on March 29, 2001


You get the picture.
posted by Neale at 3:55 PM on March 29, 2001


You don't? Well let me explain.

See, every post I do only adds to the number of comments, thus re-enforcing my level of determination about this particular quest.

Also, it creates a level of comic irony to the situation; how can I rise again, if I refuse to die in the first place? Even this explaination is a meta-level of irony, in that it, too, will add to the number of comments. And so on and so forth.
posted by Neale at 3:58 PM on March 29, 2001


I am *such* a loser.
posted by Neale at 4:04 PM on March 29, 2001


Winner! I meant winner...

Jeebus.
posted by Neale at 4:04 PM on March 29, 2001


Still no MeFi edit posts/comments ability. Ah well, probably for the best.
posted by Neale at 4:05 PM on March 29, 2001


They still haven't noticed. When, oh when? Gotta... stay... ahead.
posted by Neale at 4:08 PM on March 29, 2001


One man against an army of fools. I shall prevail!
posted by Neale at 4:09 PM on March 29, 2001


Never, in the course of history, have so few owed so many to so much.

I got that all wrong. Damnit.
posted by Neale at 4:11 PM on March 29, 2001


Can't fight the reaper.

I won't give up they want me dead.

This monkey's gone to heaven.
posted by Neale at 4:12 PM on March 29, 2001


Can't touch this.

Woooh-oh-oh-ooh

Wooh-oooh

Can't touch this.

Woooh-oh-oh-ooh

Wooh-oooh

Comment time.
posted by Neale at 4:13 PM on March 29, 2001


Won't anyone aid my unworthy cause? 300 posts isn't that many.
posted by Neale at 4:14 PM on March 29, 2001


Some might comment that this borders on Obsessive Compulsive Behaviour. I'd like to say it's more along the lines of Total Fucking Psychosis.
posted by Neale at 4:15 PM on March 29, 2001


I'm just gonna step out for a second. Someone mind the door while I'm gone?
posted by Neale at 4:16 PM on March 29, 2001


Guess not.
posted by Neale at 4:39 PM on March 29, 2001


I'm getting a weird sense of Deja Vu.
posted by Neale at 4:40 PM on March 29, 2001


I'm getting a weird sense of Deja Vu.
posted by Neale at 4:48 PM on March 29, 2001


I wonder - will Wetafilter survive longer than Wetlog did? Will I still be doing this a year from now, fighting against a 200,000 user base?

I hope so.
posted by Neale at 4:49 PM on March 29, 2001


I'm a teapot I'm a teapot I'm a teapot I'm a teapot. I'm a teapot I'm a teapot I'm a teapot I'm a teapot. I'm a teapot I'm a teapot I'm a teapot I'm a teapot. I'm a teapot I'm a teapot I'm a teapot I'm a teapot. I'm a teapot I'm a teapot I'm a teapot I'm a teapot. I'm a teapot I'm a teapot I'm a teapot I'm a teapot. I'm a teapot I'm a teapot I'm a teapot I'm a teapot. I'm a teapot I'm a teapot I'm a teapot I'm a teapot. I'm a teapot I'm a teapot I'm a teapot I'm a teapot.
posted by Neale at 5:22 PM on March 29, 2001


180 posts. It took me months to do that, and it got cracked in a matter of hours. Fuckity fuck fuck. I'm losing hope.
posted by Neale at 5:26 PM on March 29, 2001


[que paino riff]

At first I was afraid, I was petrified,
Thinking I could never live with this thread alive
Now I know another thread
is creeping up behind
But I am strong,
And though this thread is long...

I'll not quit
I need the hits
I'm not giving up upon this thread
a single bit
I won't change my mind at all
I won't be taking down my scrawl
I won't give up on 1 1 4 2 though my
back's against the wall...

I
I will survive
I'll keeping posting here, keeping
Hoping my fame revives.
I spent so many nights
Typing at these keys
I will survive
I will survive
Oh yeah...
posted by Neale at 5:32 PM on March 29, 2001


I rule.
posted by Neale at 5:33 PM on March 29, 2001


The jester is my nero.
posted by Neale at 5:33 PM on March 29, 2001


I'm such a sellout. I'm getting paid to do this by ... the UFO people! It's true! They want market inroads into Earth, and believe a viral web campaign is the best way to go about it.
posted by Neale at 6:03 PM on March 29, 2001


I'm picking up good vibrations.

Maybe I should turn my vibrator off.
posted by Neale at 6:14 PM on March 29, 2001


I wonder... is there a point where the weight of this digital commentory becomes so great it turns in on itself to become a digital "black hole", sucking in all the digital information around it?
posted by Neale at 6:19 PM on March 29, 2001


I hope so. I truly do. Let the sucking begin!
posted by Neale at 6:32 PM on March 29, 2001


Wait... it already has!

Bada-boom-bada-bing!
posted by Neale at 6:34 PM on March 29, 2001


I need to make up at least another 20 posts to pull away again. And to do that, I need more material. Waaay more material.

So...

I just flew in from Seattle, and boy are my arms tired.

[cue laugh track]

Thanks you, thank you, you're wonderful, really.
posted by Neale at 6:36 PM on March 29, 2001


You're not wonderful. You suck. Boy does it suck around here.

My god! It really is a black hole! A black hole of suckdom! Where you can't see hear light escaping for the sucking noise.

Aaaaauuuuuuggggghhhhh!
posted by Neale at 6:43 PM on March 29, 2001


I need to make enough comments to last the night when I finally fall asleep and the US catches up with me.

That's a lot of posts. I estimate roughly 70. I need to pull that far ahead to survive. Not bloody likely... but I'll have my fingers bleed on the keyboard trying.
posted by Neale at 6:45 PM on March 29, 2001


C'mon, Uncle Joe. Where the hell are you?
posted by Neale at 6:55 PM on March 29, 2001


I'm trying to work out how often I've said the word "Aaaauuuuggggghhh" and variations ("Aaarrrgh, Auuurrrgh", etc) on this thread.

My answer: not enough.
posted by Neale at 6:59 PM on March 29, 2001


Aaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh!
posted by Neale at 7:01 PM on March 29, 2001


Almost up to 250 posts. I'm guessing 10 more will do. When I started today I was on 197. I've done about 43 since then. Ah well.

Onward me! To battle! To victory! To the bathroom (i'll be right back, I swear!)
posted by Neale at 7:03 PM on March 29, 2001


"longest ever MeFi thread" my ass.
posted by Neale at 7:51 PM on March 29, 2001


Gotta keep on trucking. Do it for the children! Who's thinking about the children?
posted by Neale at 7:53 PM on March 29, 2001


I hope this thread doesn't come back to bite me on the arse when I run for president.

"Look - he wrote an absurdly long comment thread on MeFi."

"In that case, I sentence Neale to life on Monster Island!"
posted by Neale at 7:57 PM on March 29, 2001


Why doesn't World New York get more readers, damnit! It's fucking fantastic.
posted by Neale at 8:01 PM on March 29, 2001


Hi David.
posted by Neale at 8:02 PM on March 29, 2001


I'm getting a weird sense of Deja Vu.
posted by Neale at 8:11 PM on March 29, 2001


Aaaahahahahahaha. That never gets old.

'Til now.
posted by Neale at 8:13 PM on March 29, 2001


If I was a wanker (more so than I am now) I'd call this performance art. But then I'd leaving myself open to criticism. That would be bad. Oh so bad.

I have such thin skin. I get so cold at night.
posted by Neale at 8:21 PM on March 29, 2001


And with that, I bid you... hello! That's right. I'm still sticking around. Goddamn it, I'm cold... so cold... Ginger, fetch me a blanket! Milo, get your goddamn eggs of my plane! Number 1, on my mark! Get set! Go!
posted by Neale at 8:25 PM on March 29, 2001


250. I need lunch. This is hard work.
posted by Neale at 8:28 PM on March 29, 2001


Jeez, I went a little queer back there. Tom Cruise, to be precise.
posted by Neale at 8:34 PM on March 29, 2001


I'm going home soon. That'll give the other thread about 20 hours to catch up. I'm mincemeat.

I must say, though, that this thread is pretty much more informative, entertaining and all-round wonderful.

At least, according to me it is.
posted by Neale at 9:01 PM on March 29, 2001


Someday people are gonna look at this and say, "That Neale guy!"

And they'd be right.
posted by Neale at 9:02 PM on March 29, 2001


My mother so ashamed I got caught up in this. I'm been pruned from the family tree.
posted by Neale at 9:06 PM on March 29, 2001


I used to eat mayonaise straight from the jar until I found out Bob Dole does it to. Damned if I'm EVER having ANYTHING in common with that man. Besides the love-child.
posted by Neale at 9:08 PM on March 29, 2001


Well that answers that. Next!
posted by Neale at 9:17 PM on March 29, 2001


Wow. Cafepress refused business from psycho-ex. I don't who this is a victory for. The ex, perhaps?
posted by Neale at 9:21 PM on March 29, 2001


It's almost time to go off-line, at which point this thread will be engulphed by 6647. Damnit! Why, God why?
posted by Neale at 9:22 PM on March 29, 2001


Wow, I've posted over 250 comments to MeFi. I'd say they're mostly on this thread. Natch.
posted by Neale at 9:24 PM on March 29, 2001


260 comments on this thread. 60 more than the other. Now that it's slid from the top of the thread, I might just hold out overnight. Doubtful, but possible. After all, it's basically run dry. No-one's arguing. The evil-site has gone. It's just "isn't this thread long" comments from here on in. And we all know how boring that can get.

If you are reading this, for the sake of my sanity, support the cause and post something. Keep the bastard's Hondas. That's what I say.
posted by Neale at 9:26 PM on March 29, 2001


Fight the power, Neale
posted by Avogadro at 7:18 AM on March 30, 2001


You called?
posted by Aaaugh! at 2:12 PM on March 30, 2001


Aww, crap - messed up the anchor tag. Oh well.
posted by Aaaugh! at 2:15 PM on March 30, 2001


Oh neale...
posted by CrazyUncleJoe at 2:27 PM on March 30, 2001


I won! Thank the lord. Survived for another day. 13 posts ahead and all day to stretch out the lead!

You know, I really must get a life sometime soon.
posted by Neale at 2:49 PM on March 30, 2001


I'd like to thank Avogadro, Unky Her... er.. Joe, and Aaaugh! For their continued support. Now just hand me the goddamn award, will you?
posted by Neale at 2:51 PM on March 30, 2001


I'm getting a weird sense of Deja Vu.

Deja vu. Ha - ha - haaaaa!

Okay, Letterman does it better.
posted by Neale at 2:59 PM on March 30, 2001


Deja vu.

[waits for scattered laughter]
posted by Neale at 3:04 PM on March 30, 2001


Ah, forget it. Nevermind. Let us let our relationship progress a little, mature, grow. Like a great oak from a tiny ant.
posted by Neale at 3:09 PM on March 30, 2001


A lot of people think this thread doesn't count as the longest because half the posts come from me.

Well I'd like to point out that on other long threads half the posts come from other people. So there!
posted by Neale at 3:12 PM on March 30, 2001


You're just jealous of my staggeringly good looks. Don't worry, being an ugly troll isn't the worst thing in the world.
posted by Neale at 3:18 PM on March 30, 2001


The mob hath spoken, and in meta-tradition, is being spoken about.

Mob rules!
posted by Neale at 3:28 PM on March 30, 2001


You know, now that I think about it, 300 isn't that far away.

I'm gonna post all night.
Baby giveya something to hold on to
I'm gonna post all niiii-yiiiiiiaght
By the time I'm finished most of the posts
will be poo

All night
All night
All night
Gonna post gonna post
All night
All night

Ah crap.
posted by Neale at 3:34 PM on March 30, 2001


The joke died 150 posts ago, and I'm still going.

Letterman, eat your heart out.
posted by Neale at 3:45 PM on March 30, 2001


This is the 275 post benchmark. So I don't loose count.
posted by Neale at 3:50 PM on March 30, 2001


Godwin's law! It's all over now on 6647. And another one bites the dust!
posted by Neale at 3:54 PM on March 30, 2001


But they're getting might close, so a couple more posts wouldn't hurt.
posted by Neale at 3:47 PM on March 31, 2001


I'd really like the title "Phantom of the MetaFilter". As an early Christmas present.
posted by Neale at 4:22 PM on March 31, 2001


Great... another site perpetuating a lie. 6647 is NOT the longest thread ever. This is!

You put your heart and soul into something, and they spit in your face! Gar!
posted by Neale at 4:28 PM on March 31, 2001


280. Twenty more 'til 300. Will MeFi implode at that point? Will the digital black-hole arrive?

I'm getting a weird sense of Deja Vu.

Deja vu. Ha - ha - haaaaa!


Nevermind
posted by Neale at 4:35 PM on March 31, 2001


I think I'll print this out and give it to my psycho-analyst. Maybe then she'll want to screw me.
posted by Neale at 4:41 PM on March 31, 2001


I wonder if they'd let me get away with this on plastic.

Only one way to find out.
posted by Neale at 4:42 PM on March 31, 2001


Just defending my honour. Like a knight of the round table. A very drunken, stupid knight.
posted by Neale at 8:02 PM on April 1, 2001


Y'know, I think that reminding us about this thread is a pretty cheap way to get some extra posts. I'm not a pretty man, I don't cost much.
posted by cCranium at 9:15 PM on April 1, 2001


Also, from now on when you point us here, it'd be nice if you'd toss in one of them thar anchor thingamagics, so I can keep following the link without having to scroll.
posted by cCranium at 2:44 PM on April 2, 2001


I mean, here I am, proactively buffering this thread for the next time someone steals a design or finds a broken contest server, and I have to scroll, every time I follow the link.
posted by cCranium at 2:45 PM on April 2, 2001


If you think your fingers are raw and bloody from typing, you should see my middle finger from all the wheel-rolling going on!

/me waves middle finger at Neale as proof.
posted by cCranium at 2:46 PM on April 2, 2001


Oh, and while I'm inching this thread that much closer to 300, I figure I'd inject some validity here by pointing out that this thread contains an interesting history of MetaFilter. It can't be closed, it's archival value is far too high for that.
posted by cCranium at 2:47 PM on April 2, 2001


Agreed. When future generations of MeFitites want a quick rundown on the sites venerable history, they will be pointed towards 1142.

"Look! Thats the day the pyra people got fired. That's when Tivo had that competition! That's when MeFi was copied!"

They gasp and stare and love for the world will flow through them. Or something.
posted by Neale at 5:36 PM on April 2, 2001


290. Anchor links are now a must.
posted by Neale at 5:38 PM on April 2, 2001


Just peeking in the window to see Neale run about in this thread. Moving on...
posted by gluechunk at 7:29 PM on April 2, 2001


Zowie.
posted by redfoxtail at 7:43 PM on April 2, 2001


You know, at first while perusing this thread (and I'd read the top part before, a long long time ago) I thought "what a crazy fucker. He should let it drop." But now, I've read it all, and all I can think of is:

1. What a senseless waste of time that was and
2. You can have it, Neale. As long as you're willing to defend it from the next thread, which will hit 300, then the first 500, etc. etc. . .
posted by norm at 8:29 PM on April 2, 2001


Is this one of those postmodernist art thingies? If so, it's genius! Much better than Cats.
posted by snarkout at 8:33 PM on April 2, 2001


You know what is needed in a massive quantity to read this thread?

Drugs.

Lots of 'em.
posted by Jeremy at 9:31 PM on April 2, 2001


Neale: I've been looking for your 'about' page. Where's your 'about' page?
posted by holloway at 10:15 PM on April 2, 2001


I smite thee.

Well, strictly it isn't, but there's got to be some law I can smite you under. I'll keep looking.
posted by SelfPostGuy at 7:47 AM on April 3, 2001


I'm a slut
posted by sonofsamiam at 8:36 AM on April 3, 2001


I'm a slut
posted by sonofsamiam at 8:37 AM on April 3, 2001


I'm a
posted by sonofsamiam at 8:37 AM on April 3, 2001


slut
posted by sonofsamiam at 8:37 AM on April 3, 2001


slut
posted by sonofsamiam at 8:37 AM on April 3, 2001


slut
posted by sonofsamiam at 8:37 AM on April 3, 2001


slut
posted by sonofsamiam at 8:38 AM on April 3, 2001


slut
posted by sonofsamiam at 8:38 AM on April 3, 2001


(The above should be sung in your head while reading, preferably humming to yourself, as well.
If you feel up to it, feel free to add imaginary or-castration or even a chorus line.

The Rockettes!

The Mormon Ta-barnacle Choir!

Santa Claws!


You will feel a happier and better person.



And they will say, let go of me, you pervert.)
posted by sonofsamiam at 8:41 AM on April 3, 2001


This whole thing has me very, very concerned.
posted by anildash at 8:46 AM on April 3, 2001


Dammit sonof, whilst some of us were working on witty comments for post 300, you went ahead and wasted it on that?

grumble, grumble, grumble...
posted by Avogadro at 9:04 AM on April 3, 2001


I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. I love you like a red-headed stepchild.
posted by Avogadro at 9:05 AM on April 3, 2001


Wow, this is the best thread ever!
posted by daveadams at 9:14 AM on April 3, 2001


Wow, Neale, I hope you haven't been doing this over a modem... the lag time for loading this page over the 15Mb line here at work is pretty bad.
posted by daveadams at 9:15 AM on April 3, 2001


Of course, you've probably written a little program to do the dirty work for you, haven't you? That's cheating, you know?
posted by daveadams at 9:16 AM on April 3, 2001


Got any beans?

Ha - haaaaaaaa!
posted by daveadams at 9:16 AM on April 3, 2001


Anyone up for a game of Cribbage? Or Canasta?
posted by daveadams at 9:19 AM on April 3, 2001


So is this the kind of thing where, if you discovered this thread through the Metatalk post, you're not quite as 1337 as the cool people who have known about it all along?

It's an interesting tidbit for the MeFi lore, anyway.
posted by daveadams at 9:22 AM on April 3, 2001


Bible Trivia from my youth:

Q Who was the father of the sons of Zebedee?
A Zebedee

It's a trick question, see? I missed this one.
posted by daveadams at 9:25 AM on April 3, 2001


Well, I've posted seven comments, so I've got to make it a nice round ten.

Right?
posted by daveadams at 9:25 AM on April 3, 2001


Right?

Right.
posted by daveadams at 9:26 AM on April 3, 2001


Okay, that's enough, Dave. Off to bed with you! Go!
posted by daveadams at 9:26 AM on April 3, 2001


You guys are totally screwing me up. I keep scrolling down the front page wondering how my count can be so off.

I will now add to the length of this thing by posting an interesting story I stole off a friends website.

Many stories about rangering. The most "dramatic" are probably rescue stories, climbing stories and firefighting stories.

Here's one for you:

Several years ago, Clinton was stumping prior to his re-election campaign. He visited Grand Teton National Park for a few photo ops and some golfing on a
swank course. Hillary and Chelsea engaged in more honorable activities. They went horseback riding and on one or two short hikes.

Watching a Presidential Entourage go by is an odd site, especially down a dirt road to a trailhead. 8-10 black Chevy Suburbans and a few unmarked cars...
Surreal.

As part of the event, I went to a dinner at the very bourgeois Jackson Hole Golf and Tennis, where Clinton announced from a podium, his dedication to National
Parks and the preservation of public lands. I walked through a metal detector on the way in and was patted down by Secret Service agents. The Secret Service
flanked Clinton on all sides, but didn't seem to be much of a deterrent, because they were so blatantly SECRET SERVICE. Dockers, casual shirts, etc.

On to the point, and my involvement in this story.

As the Clinton's stay near Grand Teton Nat. Park wound down, a C-130 cargo transport plane in Clinton's entourage took off from the airport to fly back to DC. For
some inexplicable reason, the pilot made a huge error. Minutes after taking off, the plane hit the side of Sheep (Sleeping Indian) Mountain.

A small group of rangers were hanging out on my porch talking and having a beer after dinner, when a climbing ranger named Andy Byerly ran over from his
nearby cabin. We stood on the top of a Park Suburban and watched a mushroom cloud/fireball erupting several miles away.

An all night search and rescue effort followed. The Grand Teton Climbing Rangers were the first to respond, but not the first to reach the "staging area"--a spot
off a dirt road near the base of Sheep Mountain. When we arrived at the staging area low-grade confusion and radio traffic filled the air. Four-wheel drive vehicles
and semi-frantic people milled around and geared up.

Eventually, two groups of between 8 and 12 people headed in approximately 4 miles to the crash site. One group of park rangers, one group of Teton County
Search and Rescue. A third group, on horseback, was to take a longer route and meet the two groups on foot. There was no trail. We took the most direct route,
which included a bunch of steep terrain and bushwhacking through heavy forest. The Park Rangers were dressed in standard firefighting gear--bright yellow
Nomex (fireproof) shirts, green Nomex pants and firefighting boots. The Teton County Rescue Team dropped behind after two miles. We (park rangers) never
saw them again that night.

When the group of eight of so park rangers reached the crash site, we methodically spread out, in order to canvas the area. Initially, we were looking for live
humans in need of medical attention. Our objective quickly shifted to counting bodies.

The smell of spent jet fuel was in the air. Urgency was also in the air. The temperature was slightly below freezing, but I was slightly chilled by sweat.

The only thing still flaming was one of the plane's huge landing gear tires. The only other intact part of the plane was the tail piece, which seemed oddly out of
place, like a hoof remaining from a horse obducted by aliens.

Rivulets of solid aluminum ran through the crash area. Minute pieces of debris were strewn about in a hundred yard radius. The cockpit was a slump of
smoldering mush.

A ranger named Gary found the first body. There were nine crew members aboard the plane, along with an armored Chevy Suburban. We found random pieces
of eight humans, there was no trace of the Suburban. I found at least two of the bodies. They didn't seem human. They seemed like charred props generated by
Hollywood.

I still have vivid images in my mind from that night. Mortal images.

The butt and thighs of what I guessed used to be a woman beneath the light of my headlamp. She had no torso. Her rump resembled a mannequin coated with
two inches of well-done bacon.

A pilot's flight suit still intact, but the pilot resembling little more than molded ash.

A curled leather boot with a foot still in it...

My thoughts were both hyper lucid and confused, vacillating between reverence, horror and awe. I was and still am oddly detached from the reality of what my
eyes took in that night.

After determining all the crew members were dead, we dispersed around the perimeter of the crash site to "secure the area." I assume the FAA wanted the flight
log secure and the Feds wanted any potentially classified material safegaurded. It was about four am. I pulled my down jacket, along with some gloves and
other warm gear out of my backpack. I was still cold. I laid down against my backpack, using it as insulation against the ground. I talked for a while with a ranger
named Chris Harder. He was sitting about 40 feet from me. After a while, we both tried to close our eyes and rest.

About two hours later, the first horse arrived on the scene. An hour after that, we were flown by helicopter back to the Park.

Later that day, local newspapers credited the "body recovery" to the Teton County Search and Rescue Team. In reality, the TCRT's out-of-shape gear-laden
group mostly drank hot chocolate and coffee all night by their idling vehicles in the staging area. The Park Service team wasn't mentioned at all in the local news.
Surprisingly enough, national news barely registered the event, even though Clinton flew out of Grand Teton Nat. Park a couple days later.

posted by Christian Arial 3:14 PM


So there!
posted by thirteen at 9:44 AM on April 3, 2001


Wow! This is one case where the noise level is so high that it's completely on topic :)
(btw, if someone already said that, I apologize...I have the attention span of a two-year-old as well)

Also, I knew about this well before the MeTa post...does that make me 1337 too?? Sweeet.
posted by samsara at 10:54 AM on April 3, 2001


You're much more 1337 than I am, samsara.

Cool story, thirteen.
posted by daveadams at 11:50 AM on April 3, 2001


Hey, 13, why not tip us off to where that story came from? It kicked ass.
posted by norm at 11:51 AM on April 3, 2001


I'm still waiting for a cribbage opponent.
posted by daveadams at 11:51 AM on April 3, 2001


Or canasta.
posted by daveadams at 11:51 AM on April 3, 2001


Or even Spades.
posted by daveadams at 11:52 AM on April 3, 2001


I'm flexible.
posted by daveadams at 11:52 AM on April 3, 2001


The story came from the page of Polish war bride Rob Sieracki. Look for the story about Polish sausage, it is good reading.
posted by thirteen at 12:09 PM on April 3, 2001


Wow. I can hardly hear Neale anymore.
posted by iceberg273 at 1:43 PM on April 3, 2001


That's the plan.
posted by daveadams at 1:52 PM on April 3, 2001


Okay, I'm obsessed with this thread!

NEED MORE POSTS.
posted by daveadams at 2:05 PM on April 3, 2001


Spades it is! Who wants to be partners?

No, not like THAT, silly.
posted by redfoxtail at 3:59 PM on April 3, 2001


Boy, this was Neale's personal sounding board, and we spoiled it. And he would have got away with it, if it weren't for you meddling kids.
posted by timothompson at 10:12 PM on April 3, 2001


31337 meddling kids :P
posted by samsara at 12:15 AM on April 4, 2001


Mind you.
posted by samsara at 12:35 AM on April 4, 2001


You young'uns! You're finally getting the MeFi picture.

It's far more addictive than you've EVER IMAGINED! And now you know this thread is here, over the next few months you'll come back and back and back again! Matt's gottcha hooked!

And yes, I do do this over a 56k modem.
posted by Neale at 2:17 AM on April 4, 2001


Being l337 is a valiant goal, but I'm alway l473.
posted by cCranium at 7:22 AM on April 4, 2001


Being l337 is a valiant goal, but I'm alway l473.

You need more l4773. Or less. I can never tell.
posted by iceberg273 at 9:22 AM on April 4, 2001


Sometime ago, I proposed a new unit of measure for weblogs, the ben, to indicate the "weight" of MeFi threads. (1 ben = ~3,000 words). Just checking in here to note that, at a little over 21,000 words, this thread now weighs 7.1 bens.
posted by bradlands at 9:54 AM on April 4, 2001


If I carefully count words - including the "posted by" line - I can post in nice, discrete centiben chunks, like this.
posted by youhas at 2:12 PM on April 4, 2001


Well, assuming that "2:12", "PM", and "PST" count as a total of three words, of course. Your mileage may vary.
posted by youhas at 2:14 PM on April 4, 2001


Youhas, your user number is the year of the Great Fire of London.
posted by norm at 7:02 PM on April 4, 2001


And your id, norm, is not only the end of the English Tudor Period (link not working. pout), it's also the year the French Confession of Faith was written, and the year Girolamo Priuli was born! (somewhere deep on this page)

Google so rocks.
posted by cCranium at 6:09 AM on April 5, 2001


And your ID, cCranium, marks the year that Charlemange finally defeated the Turkish Avar Empire, thus destroying it. It also marks the end of Offa's reign as King of Mercia. Oddly enough, Offa considered himself an equal to Charlemange. In addition, the Dassault Falcon 900 EX, a business jet, has a long distance cruising speed of your Id in km/h. The company that makes the Falcon also makes the Mirage jet fighter. The Mirage was developed by France in order to reduce reliance on foreign companies for military aircraft. Where did Charlemange's empire begin? You guessed it.
posted by iceberg273 at 7:48 AM on April 5, 2001


Speaking of Charlemagne, your i.d. (iceberg273) marks the year (803) that he captured the Northern Iberian region from the Muslims, thus bringing about the independance of Andorra. Also in that year, Emperor Nikiforos of Greece founded the first marine bank in history, Jabir Ibn Haiyan (Geber) died (he was the Father of Chemistry), and Irene of Athens, who was the first woman ever to hold the throne of the old Roman Empire, died.

In MeFi news, MetaFilter thread 803 was on the re-design of K10K.
posted by Avogadro at 8:54 AM on April 5, 2001


Ooh ooh, what about me? Huh? Huh?
posted by daveadams at 12:46 PM on April 5, 2001


What about me 161 AD was a pretty fucking rocking year, heh? Heh?

I thought this thread was about me. ME ME ME ME ME!
posted by Neale at 6:11 PM on April 5, 2001


The irony is, that this guy never realized his true potential....I wonder if matt would let me have it?
posted by samsara at 7:13 PM on April 5, 2001


Oh, and hi neale :)
posted by samsara at 7:13 PM on April 5, 2001


Cicero (106 BC - 43). his chief concern was to discover and make public the seditious intentions of his rival.
posted by samsara at 7:23 PM on April 5, 2001


Falling well short of the 161 mark...
posted by samsara at 7:24 PM on April 5, 2001


Dave, seems like The Venerable Bede was born in 673 AD, and Pope Eugene ended his popeship in death, as died Yan Liben, a Chinese Artist. Numa Pompilus began his rule of Rome in 673BC, after it's founder, Romulus.
posted by Neale at 11:31 PM on April 5, 2001


And matt refuses to change IDs. Trust me, I know. I tried to get 4 or 5, after I found they were departed.

My lameness has been re-enforced.
posted by Neale at 11:35 PM on April 5, 2001


stupidhead dave. cut in line to deny anyone discovering the wonder of year 1545. :-(

*pout*
posted by Avogadro at 6:06 AM on April 6, 2001


Heh, 1545 was the year that Luther published his famous bible. An excerpt from the story of Noah:

Aus allerlei reinem Vieh nimm zu dir je sieben und sieben, das Männlein und sein Fräulein; von dem unreinen Vieh aber je ein Paar, das Männlein und sein Fräulein.

Oh, and 673 is my street address.
posted by norm at 7:27 AM on April 6, 2001


Oh and my last post, neale, was my 161st
posted by samsara at 8:09 AM on April 6, 2001


When I'm 161, it will be the year 2138 and I'd damn well better have my jet pack.
posted by cCranium at 1:41 PM on April 6, 2001


In the year 2525, if man is still alive, if woman can survive they may find in the year 3535, ain't gonna need to tell the truth, tell no lies. Everything you think, do, and say is in the pill you took today.
posted by youhas at 3:32 AM on April 7, 2001


I'm really too distracted at this point (using a 56k connection for the first time in a year and trying to gnaw my mouse arm off...) I cannot fathom the patience 56kers have. Yet, I'd say it's more intense than what most monks would endure.
posted by samsara at 8:25 PM on April 7, 2001


Hey sam, although I only post to this thread from work behind our 30 meg line, I generally surf from home at 31.2k since Windows 2000 doesn't seem to realize that my modem can do 56k!

Okay, yes, I realize that I probably am doing something wrong. Surely there's some reconfiguration that would make my surfing faster. Anyone know the arcana of modem settings?
posted by daveadams at 2:11 PM on April 9, 2001


What I meant to say was... no, even 31.2k isn't bad if that's what you're used to. I make extensive use of multiple windows including the television in order to endure.

And how is this about Neale, you ask? It's obviously his fault, that's how.
posted by daveadams at 2:12 PM on April 9, 2001


Has anyone looked at Neale's Comments page? If you start at the top or the bottom, it looks like a reasonably normal Metafilistine's page, but right there in the middle is this huge garish list of "jump to the comment in this thread" that's really quite pathetic.

And since it's Neale, pathetic == amusing!
posted by cCranium at 12:20 PM on April 10, 2001


What do I have to do so that when I'm pathetic, it's amusing? (Don't worry, I know it's all about you, Neale. You! You! You!)
posted by redfoxtail at 7:20 PM on April 10, 2001


I initially parsed your nick as ReddFoxxTail, and the resulting image was both pathetic and amusing, as well as deeply, deeply disturbing.
posted by CrazyUncleJoe at 9:09 PM on April 10, 2001


NEALE! NEALE! NEALE!
posted by Avogadro at 5:26 AM on April 11, 2001


I initially parsed your nick as ReddFoxxTail, and the resulting image was both pathetic and amusing, as well as deeply, deeply disturbing.

Aiiieeee! Excuse me while I take some time to recover from that thought.
posted by redfoxtail at 3:54 PM on April 11, 2001


Who is Redd Foxx? Someone with a typing stutter?

And it's not about me. It's about the love... of me.
posted by Neale at 4:21 PM on April 11, 2001


Is this thread dead?
posted by daveadams at 1:45 PM on April 16, 2001


Ha! Thread... dead... that rhymes! Funny!
posted by daveadams at 1:45 PM on April 16, 2001


In celebration of the Easter season and my newfound rhyming ability, I'd like to claim title of Funny Bunny for the purposes of this thread... But just for this week. I don't think that's the kind of nickname I want hanging around.
posted by daveadams at 1:56 PM on April 16, 2001


Redd Foxx? A St. Louisan, dontchaknow!

Redd Foxx
(One of) Redd Foxx's shows
Redd Foxx's most famous show
Redd Foxx's foil/nemesis-ter-in-law
Redd Foxx's ghost
Redd Foxx's grave
posted by bradlands at 10:52 PM on April 16, 2001


Bah. Redd Foxx was no Funny Bunny.
posted by daveadams at 5:59 AM on April 17, 2001


Oddly enough, Redd Foxx pretty much defined "working blue" ...
posted by CrazyUncleJoe at 1:43 PM on April 17, 2001


One Foxx
Two Foxx
Redd Foxx
Bloo Foxx

I made a cake the day Redd Foxx died, I heard about his death as I was frosting it. I wrote on the cake "Red Fox burns in hell". I think I was the only one who ate the cake, because I used to use so much food coloring that it stained your digestive tract, and people get tired of that sort of thing (if they are not me).

Many years later my roomate played me a stag record that featured the woman who played Aunt Ester talking dirty and simulating orgasm. I have no idea who that record was marketed towards, as it was of puzzling entertainment value. It's only real reason for being was to say "Isn't that Aunt Ester grunting and moaning, wow I really don't like this take it off."

Sanford and son was based on the British comedy Steptoe and son.

I will never have a good night of sleep until the guy who played Lamont dies too. I believe his name is Desmond.

Other people whose deaths help me sleep are:
A. Lincoln
T. Edison
F.D.fucking R
and possibly Ghandi, as I am really grossed out by his urine drinking fetish

I wish Andy Warhol was still alive.

I counted up, and realized that 13 of my old classmates are dead.. Isn't that ironic?

6 murdered
3 traffic accidents
2 suicide
2 anorexia

Time for bed.
posted by thirteen at 11:00 PM on April 17, 2001


I don't know of a single dead classmate in my entire schooling history.
posted by Neale at 11:31 PM on April 17, 2001


One heroin overdose
Four suicide
One car wreck
One dropped dead of a burst blood vessel in his brain.

So, seven. Boy, that's depressing.
posted by norm at 6:57 AM on April 18, 2001


Hmmm, I don't know that I could even remember 13 of my old classmates. I do know of one who is dead though: motorcycle wreck. Oh wait! Another one died falling out of a truck while stoned or drunk, but he had transferred to another school. Does that count?
posted by daveadams at 11:50 AM on April 18, 2001


No.

Speaking of keeping count (cool segway there neale)... what # post is this?
posted by Neale at 5:29 PM on April 18, 2001


I'm taking a sounding now....

That's 378 comments deep, no wait, make that 379.
posted by lagado at 7:29 PM on April 18, 2001


Woo hoo, I always wanted to be #380.
posted by daveadams at 5:56 AM on April 19, 2001


Or was that 381?
posted by daveadams at 5:57 AM on April 19, 2001


Neale, did you mean "segue" or is this just another example of your irresistable charm?
posted by daveadams at 5:58 AM on April 19, 2001


Trois cent quatre-vingt trois!!!
posted by daveadams at 5:59 AM on April 19, 2001


My new posting quantum is five. Sorry folks.
posted by daveadams at 6:00 AM on April 19, 2001


I wonder if anything bad is going to happen tomorrow? Or the day after?
posted by thirteen at 9:14 AM on April 19, 2001


Something bad will doubtless happen somewhere.
posted by redfoxtail at 9:26 AM on April 19, 2001


So true. One of those terrible quirks of life -- you get in a routine, think it's your life, and then someday something awful happens and Real Life is staring you in the face. Boy, does that blow chunks.
posted by norm at 10:50 AM on April 19, 2001


Or you get in a routine, etc, etc, and then you have to do something way out of the ordinary like get your car inspected and licensed. That really sucks. That's the main reason I got rid of my car.
posted by daveadams at 1:27 PM on April 19, 2001


I'm serious.
posted by daveadams at 1:27 PM on April 19, 2001


I think I have my dates screwed up. I meant because of OK city and Waco anniversaries, and also Columbine.
posted by thirteen at 3:48 PM on April 19, 2001


Man... I had the funniest bit for post #380, and I forgot that the preview button didn't post. Damnit!

So instead, some keyboard improv:

wqetewt ewfspvp9 dsfmdsflkewtr zdn4ewtpd fads foewt
asdofhjewot dslfksdof23trlkdsz fjdsf o3q53218032
vlkmcxvlkjvp u3q5ua;slkjf 0- 32145wlkdjvnj cx0-q
posted by Neale at 9:30 PM on April 19, 2001


This week's special guest star: Florence Henderson.
posted by bradlands at 10:10 PM on April 19, 2001


I think DIV and SPAN would be good names for cartoon superheroes. Perhaps DIV is a winged centaur, SPAN a coalescent Jell-O being with an IQ of 1,405.
posted by bradlands at 10:13 PM on April 19, 2001


This, incidentally, is the reason I'm not getting any work done these days.
posted by bradlands at 10:13 PM on April 19, 2001


Well, that and all the beer-drinking and laying-about.
posted by bradlands at 10:14 PM on April 19, 2001


Once, I typed my address into google, and got horrifying results. First I found a document with my name, and the sellers name and the price I paid for the property, which seems pretty rude to me.

Then I found a some usenet looking discussion, where weirdos were lobbying for my house to be placed on a historic register for it use under the previous owner (which I will not get into here). It seemed pretty weak, and would have no chance of happening, but I would literally explode if I had to get permission to modify my home.

My friends and I have a running theme with cookies frosted to look like blue human eyes. We have refined it over the past year, and they are looking pretty damn swank. We have been pursuing it from a more or less 2-dimensional angle, and I want to kick it up a notch. I am unsure if I should try making a rum ball, that I would dust with powdered sugar, or if I should dip them in white chocolate and go to town with that. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
posted by thirteen at 10:19 AM on April 20, 2001


By "literally explode", I meant get really mad, and not actually explode.
posted by thirteen at 1:07 PM on April 20, 2001


Anybody have a favorite Simpson's quote?
posted by thirteen at 1:10 PM on April 20, 2001


Homer: Or what? You'll release the dogs, or the bees, or the dogs with
bees in their mouths and when they bark they shoot bees at you?

posted by thirteen at 1:17 PM on April 20, 2001


Remember when Matt got locked in Peterme's bathroom? I was not there, but it is coming up on a year since it happened. Whose bathroom should Matt be locked into next? I think Neal's bathroom would be the natural bathroom of choice, but Anil's would not surprise me either. I would bet serious money it will not be efader's bathroom, but I guess stranger things have happened. Lame choices would be Meg's bathroom, and his own, not because of who they are but rather because they are too easy. You probably are not more than 50' from your own bathroom when ever you are at home. How exciting would that be? Powazek's bathroom could be cool, but only if Derek went psycho, and Matt was in the bathroom to escape Derek's dangerousness. Especially cool would be if Matt escaped in some way that had him exiting through a window, or blowing out a wall McGuyver style (perhaps he could download toothpaste bomb making instructions off the internet with his Palm, That would be cool!) Matt could find a small engine cycle in the bathroom, and break through the wall and gun the throttle as soon as he hit pavement so that he would have a cool little fishtale effect.

The day is coming, I am sure it will be great no matter what happens.
posted by thirteen at 2:52 PM on April 20, 2001


I don't know any of the poeple whose name's I just casually threw about. I know ccraniumn's shoe size, but I don't really know him. The web is weird. I think I have slightly more Mercury sloshing around the center of my brain than the average person, and I am sorry for it.

Sean Meade has attractive symetrical children, but I have not met them.

I always imagine Baylink as a beard.

I was surprised to see what Holgate looks like. I thought he would have black hair and be much skinnier. He is kind of beefy for a vegetarian.

I am remarkably handsome, and terribly misunderstood.

For a while I thought Dave Adams did not like me, and have no mental picture of him. When I try to make one, I just see the words "Dave Adams" or the little stuffed dog picture.

I wonder if Sapphireblue has a southern accent.

Sudama said he looks a bit like Chris Elliot, and I will take him at his word.

I would have Ben Affleck play Derek Powazek in Metafilter: the Movie.

I would be played by a Krispy Kreme donut, and all my scenes would be cut.

Who do you think the ugliest Metafilterer is? I bet it is someone who does not post alot.

I like Solistrato a lot, his is our most passionate member. He prolly thinks i'm an idiot.

I wrote Rat Bastard a paranoid letter at 4a.m on time asking him if he disabled part of his website because I was using it regularly. It turns out the answer was no, and I thought he was swell to respond to my insane sounding letter so thoughtfully.

I am currently listening to Glenn Branca's Symphony no.6.

Whenever someone talks about how Metafilter sucks now, I always take it personal, because I think they are implying it was me who ruined it. Unless their ID is higher than mine, at which point I figure they are talking about Hal_55.

I think Metafilter is still good.

METAFILTER: the movie
Noah Wiley as Matt H
Skeet Ulrich as Jason Kottke
Phillip Seymore Hoffman as John B.
a donught as John 13
another doughnut as Capt. Crackpipe
That chick from Chocolat as Heather Champ
and introducing the rock as ccranium.

I am posting on one machine, while rebuilding another. This IS progress.

My wife has a secret Metafilter account, and has only posted once.

More later.
posted by thirteen at 3:25 PM on April 20, 2001


"I always imagine Baylink as a beard." should have been "I always imagine Baylink has a beard."
posted by thirteen at 3:32 PM on April 20, 2001


Re: thirteen's cookies frosted to look like eyes -- you'll get much better-looking results with the white chocolate, if you can get the hang of dipping 'em. I'd think the powdered sugar wouldn't hold up very well under the blue icing. Of course, they'll taste repulsive (white chocolate + rum balls = ick). Seems to me that if you'd also like them to taste good, you should consider using truffles as the base.
posted by redfoxtail at 9:57 PM on April 20, 2001


You know, folks, I think this discussion of eyeball cookies is really off-topic. Maybe you should take it to email.
posted by anildash at 10:46 PM on April 20, 2001


I just realised I have no conception of what Dave looks like either. Just a dog. Or an absent dog.

I don't think anyone should play Powazek. He won't be featuring in the Metafilter movie; he's got the Fray covered though. Covered like a FOX!

thirteen's cookies may look like eyes, but what's more disturbing is that his eyes look like cookies.
posted by Neale at 12:20 AM on April 21, 2001


Wow, you know my shoe size? Oh, right, from the Converse link. Truffle-covered rum balls. Redfoxtail, I think you've just described heaven.

The mental image I have of a bunch of angels sitting around eating eyeballs is both disturbing and amusing. I can see them gathering around a bowl of eyeballs and describing each person from which they came like a group of people dissecting the taste of wine.

Oh, and a rock, or The Rock. Do you smell what the cCranium's cooking? I'm not sure which is more flattering, although I'm leaning towards a chunk of granite over a professional wrestler.
posted by cCranium at 7:19 AM on April 21, 2001


How can you track eyeballs without cookies? Hm, tell me that, Mr. Smarty Man.

Does anyone else think that Crocodile Dundee in LA looks like a perfectly respectable Subaru Outback commercial ruined by gratuitous product placement for Paul Hogan's ailing career?

When I say literally get really angry, I meant actually explode. You know, high-speed gaseous expansion through combustion. I mean it this time. Stay back.
posted by dhartung at 11:54 AM on April 21, 2001


Afterwards, will there be cake?
posted by Lirp at 12:27 PM on April 21, 2001


There will be eyes!
posted by redfoxtail at 8:50 PM on April 21, 2001


[thirteen] lobbying for my house to be placed on a historic register for it use under the previous owner (which I will not get into here). It seemed pretty weak, and would have no chance of happening, but I would literally explode if I had to get permission to modify my home.

Thirteen, do you live in a city? I thought most cities required construction permits for any major external modifications. Maybe not. In any case, if it was the national historic registry, that doesn't change any rights you may or may not have to modify your home. State and local registries may not be as forgiving, however.
posted by daveadams at 11:19 PM on April 21, 2001


[thirteen] For a while I thought Dave Adams did not like me, and have no mental picture of him. When I try to make one, I just see the words "Dave Adams" or the little stuffed dog picture.

The Stuffed Dog!

That is me. I live on a little white disc up in the mesosphere. I mean, gosh, they say on the Internet no one knows you're a dog, but I never believed them...
posted by daveadams at 11:26 PM on April 21, 2001


No, just teasing. Really, this is my picture:



Seriously.
posted by daveadams at 11:28 PM on April 21, 2001


[thirteen] For a while I thought Dave Adams did not like me

What makes you think that's not still the case? I remember: we were arguing over the death penalty (what? a death penalty thread with only 37 comments?!?), way back when (well, actually, it's way after this thread, isn't it... the fabric of spacetime is ripping, I'm sure of it). I don't hold grudges, but I make an exception in your case, thirteen.

No, I'm just teasing. I like thirteen a lot; but Neale: that's another story altogether.

<chorus>"I like thirteen a lot; but Neale: that's another story."</chorus>
posted by daveadams at 11:43 PM on April 21, 2001


[thirteen] "I always imagine Baylink as a beard." should have been "I always imagine Baylink has a beard."

I like the first way better.
posted by daveadams at 11:45 PM on April 21, 2001


[Neale] I just realised I have no conception of what Dave looks like either. Just a dog. Or an absent dog.

An absent dog? What the heck?
posted by daveadams at 11:50 PM on April 21, 2001


A few survey questions about my website:

1. Should I have a picture of me on the site?
2. If you could log in to the site, would you?
3. But would you log in if it meant you could see my picture?
4. Should I write a web survey component for my custom blog software?
5. What if you could use it yourself (assuming you answered yes to #2 or #3)?

I would appreciate your prompt, candid, and courteous responses below. Thanks.
posted by daveadams at 11:59 PM on April 21, 2001


Anyone here familiar with FreeBSD? I'm installing it on my old PC and it can't seem to find the network card. Or I skipped an installation step somewhere (I find the installation process to be far more confusing than it needs to be, FYI!).
posted by daveadams at 12:02 AM on April 22, 2001


1. Yes. If you want people to know how ugly you are, that is.
2. No.
3. Probably.
4. What, and join the gang? (e-mail Chrish of Chrish.org and ask to be put on "the list")
5. Maybe.

Absent. Abcent? Abcese? Obese?
posted by Neale at 1:24 AM on April 22, 2001


Um. Can I just have some cake? Eyeballs optional.
posted by lia at 4:20 AM on April 22, 2001


Dave, I'm barely familiar with FreeBSD, in that I managed to trip my way through an install once or twice.

From what I remember, the NIC setup gets presented as an option like "Do you want to set-up your network card [y]:" during the installer, but I've been wrong before.

The thing that always catches me up is the monitor setup for X. "Be absolutely sure of your refresh rate or you could be chewing monitor pieces for months after the explosion."

Try The FreeBSD Diary, it got me through everything.
posted by cCranium at 6:13 AM on April 22, 2001


1. Sure.
2. No.
3. No.
4. No.
5. No.
posted by redfoxtail at 8:50 AM on April 22, 2001


cCranium, thanks for the tip on that site. I'll check it out. When I was installing, I never got a direct prompt asking if I wanted to install my network card. What version were you installing? I've got 4.2. Maybe I should have tried to advanced install instead of the wimpy menu install. Maybe I'll try again... it's just so sloooow on my 486DX2. :)
posted by daveadams at 9:05 AM on April 22, 2001


Dave, check out /stand/sysinstall as well...
posted by samsara at 10:29 AM on April 22, 2001


Now that we've gotten the eyeball question out of the way, I have a question of my own: How do the cool kids attract an audience to their websites? I appreciate laboring in obscurity as much as anyone (well, perhaps not anyone), but, you know, not utter obscurity. Considering how widely scattered the likely aficionados of my obscure laborings must doubtless be, how can I garner their attention without being the kind of self-promoting ass that, surely, none of my potential audience could stomach? This comment, of course, does not count.
posted by redfoxtail at 11:28 AM on April 22, 2001


redfox,
I think the cool kids do it by having started their weblogs back in late 98, early 99 when having a weblog was a sign of just how 1337 you really were.

Then for a while, it was a good strategy to post comments blasting the concept of blogs, the top bloggers, the ruination caused by tools like Blogger, etc. etc. You'd immediately get links from all the cool kids, and thus a lot of traffic, and thus a few more repeat visitors.

Then there's the strategy of hosting a particularly odd or potentially-illegal item. Kottke's Simply Porn is a good example, but Kottke didn't need any more publicity. Having a URL similar enough to a big corporate entity to get sued is a good strategy, as well.

Yet another strategy is to be Zannah, who somehow miraculously gets mentioned in every mainstream-press weblog article ever. I mean, she's got a great site, but really, spread the wealth.

Since being Zannah is likely out of the question, and since it's not early 1999 anymore, I'd say your best bet is to bribe a big-name blogger or two with lots of street cred to endorse your site. Rebecca, Matt, Cam, Jason, Meg, Peter, Brig, and Dave Winer are all options, but I don't know how they'll respond to your offers of cash. I think most of them are doing pretty well.

Personally, I'll take bribes of any sort. I get about 140-150 hits a day (excluding bots) at The Stuffed Dog and I'd be glad to plug your site. My readers are well-known for their clickthrough rates, and my prices for shameless shilling are reasonable. Email me for a quote.
posted by daveadams at 6:20 PM on April 22, 2001


More FreeBSD madness:

Okay, FreeBSD still can't see my network card. I've re-installed, and when I get to the "do you want to set up a network interface?" I say yes, but ethernet is not an option, just slip and ppp.

Soooo, here's what happens when I start up a fresh install: After swapping the two boot disks, I get a menu asking if I want to skip kernel setup, do visual kernel setup, or do advanced kernel setup. So I go for the visual setup. Here, I get a list of all the possible drivers for disk, network, etc, etc, and their various IRQs and I/O ports. I go through and delete the drivers that don't apply, and just leave the simple NE2000 driver for my no-name NE2000 card. I set the IRQ and I/O port to the settings on my card (not plug-n-play, but I can configure it through software if I boot to DOS): in this case, IRQ 10 and I/O port 0x300. I've verified that, at least among the drivers listed, there are no conflicts.

So I go ahead and boot up, but I get nothing.

Just in case it matters: I get a bunch of complaints while booting that there are too many devices using IRQ 7 and that there are so many, in fact, that the kernel will not log any more. Running /stand/sysinstall doesn't get me back to the driver screen, just to the software installation portion.
posted by daveadams at 6:36 PM on April 22, 2001


You know, this thread has the feeling of a nice, friendly open-topic mailing list. If Matt ever shuts us down, anyone up for forming a mefi-1142-list?
posted by daveadams at 6:42 PM on April 22, 2001


[looks around]
Wow, I never really thought I was one of the in crowd, but this I never imagined.
posted by lbergstr at 7:09 PM on April 22, 2001


So, uh speaking of how we all look, you can choose for yourself how I look, check it out...

I'm going to extend the contest well past 100 votes, I didn't think I'd get 60 votes in just about one day so it might be around another week or so. So you can all decide exactly how to picture me...
posted by anildash at 7:46 PM on April 22, 2001


re: mailing list.

I'm hoping that technological advances in bandwidth progress fasted than posts on this thread. Otherwise I'm screwed.

As for an open, off-topic mailing list, you could do worse than the wrongwaygoback mailing list. It's spamalicious.

RE: Shaving: Anil, you're head don't stand a chance.

RE: Making it big. You could take Sally's advice, based on well documented methods of gaining fame and forture.
posted by Neale at 8:20 PM on April 22, 2001


Hi mom.
posted by sudama at 2:54 AM on April 23, 2001


Re: FreeBSD.

I have a deep hatred of no-name NE2000 NICs, you can guarantee that they will flat out fail to work with anything other than Windows.

The trouble I had trying to find two NICs that would happily co-exist in my firewall machine doesn't bear thinking about. In the end I gave up and installed a 3Com ISA and a Realtek PCI card.

Then the only problem was getting one of them to talk DHCP to the cable modem... ;)

I guess you're getting a screen much like this one. When I set up my webserver I just kept removing network drivers until there were zero conflicts in the top left corner.

If the kernel is complaining of too many devices at IRQ 7 then I would think that this would be flagged in the config screen. Don't know if any of this helps.
posted by gi_wrighty at 6:44 AM on April 23, 2001


Yay, one of my favoritist ranting topics has been breached! It's been a while since I got to say stuff like this.

The "secret" to drawing eyeballs (not cakes, mind you, I haven't yet figured out how to draw eyeball cakes closer to me, I'm reasonably certain that they know I'm Cake Death) isn't really much of a secret.

Look at your stereotypical-as-piss A-list types, then look what they had _before_ a blog.

Kottke has been doing Osil8 for years. (side note: I can NEVER remember the URL. I don't know why, but none of .com, .org., or .net are resolving into anything useful).

Matt has MetaFilter.

Zeldman did or play[ed|s] a major part in doing Dr. Web, the Ad Graveyard, A List Apart, the WaSP.

Meg and Ev started Pyra.

In other words, a 'blog, for the most part, isn't enough to draw attention. The obvious exceptions to this are Jorn, who Blogs every freakin' thing on the planet, and Rebecca, whom I read much more for her editorial/opinion pieces than her actual blog entries.

Powazek did Fray, Halcyon did Prehensile Tales. Heather did FOJM, Lance did Glassdog. I can go on, but I'm mildly disturbed about how long I've been reading many of these peoples' works)

What defines someone as "A-List" isn't some nebulous definition of "cool," it's almost always hard work and a serious contribution to the development of the personal web. So you want to be famous? Work on something other than a blog.

(insert standard "I'm not bashing blogs, I have a blog, I like blogs, blogs are good but they aren't the be all and end all of web presence" disclaimer here.)
posted by cCranium at 7:17 AM on April 23, 2001


(also note that, by talking about the point of blogs, I unintentionally derailled this thread by almost bringing it back on topic. Does that mean bonus or demerit points?)
posted by cCranium at 7:21 AM on April 23, 2001


You must surrender MetaFilter points certificates at the time of redemption. MetaFilter points and rewards may not be combined with other discounts or promotions and are not redeemable for cash. No additional points are earned for reward redemption. All rewards are subject to availability and such other restrictions as determined by Vail Resorts in its sole discretion. Additional terms and conditions may be contained on MetaFilter points certificates and in other MetaFilter informational brochures. mathowie reserves the right to change MetaFilter reward redemption levels, rewards and other matters.
posted by sonofsamiam at 10:00 AM on April 23, 2001


Does that mean bonus or demerit points?

I'm not sure . . . let's consult a random discipline code to answer that question . . . um . . . here's one . . . Columbus Boy Choir Statement of Discipline, I choose you!

According to the CBCSD, as this is the first occurrence of distracting others*, your name will be called with a warning.

CCRANIUM! Get back off topic! You've been warned!

(You may redeem yourself by earning bonus points for good posture.)

* distracting others from the *real* purpose of this thread, whatever that may be.
posted by iceberg273 at 10:04 AM on April 23, 2001


I have been scanning too much on Metafilter lately. There are so many posts I just buzz through them. I thought someone called Ralph Nader a "rabbi-rouser", and once that sunk in, I had to go back to the now closed thread to see what they meant by that. I should have realized I read it wrong, and it was the more common usage of "rabble".

My weblog gets 28 visits a day.

I am a superstar.
posted by thirteen at 10:05 AM on April 23, 2001


A large proportion of visitors to my weblog are looking for designer clothing. Boy, are they disappointed. Even though I've offered them t-shirts designed by me. Apparently I just don't have what it takes to get the youth of america to volunteer themselves as billboards for the iceberg273 brand.

I am stardust.
posted by iceberg273 at 10:29 AM on April 23, 2001


This just in, my weblog now gets a raised average of 29 hits per day. I knew detailed reports of all my meals would draw people to my website, I just never knew it would happen so so... or be so exciting.

I am feeling poorly today, I fell like I ate a handful of broken glass. One of my dogs woke up at 4am and wanted to go out, when I returned to bed I laid down and stared at my moonclock for the next hour. The creeps from Peoples gas came by at 8am to install a radio read gas meter in my basement that I have been trying to avoid. The wife does not have any problem with this tiny violation of my privacy regarding metered radio waves. Anybody who cares to look into it can drive up my street with a detector and know how much natural gas my house has consumed. I do not like this. It is my intention to experiment and make a detector, so that I can walk around my neighborhood and have something to talk about with my incredibly boring neighbors.

"I see you have used a cubic ton of natural gas you sloppy bastard, here is a nickel ?go buy some insulation."

My wife also took them up on the free gas appliance inspection, which I surely never would have allowed, but I guess it can't hurt much. I don't know why they are giving out "free" inspections when half the town can't afford their gas bills this winter, but good for me I guess. I hope all Illinois customers enjoyed footing the bill for my "free" inspection. I had no worries, my gas runs are short, in thick black pipe with few joints. I replaced all my couplings 2 years ago with bubbling flex hose that would show failure before anything serious happened, not to mention the gas detectors. I will also continue with my own "free" gas inspections.

If you have not noticed, I am concerned about natural gas explosions. I am trusting they did not spill any mercury from the meter when they removed it today, after the huge scandal such accidents caused this summer here in Chicago.

Thanks for the tips about the 3-D eye cookies, I will post pictures of the results.

I now hate political threads until further notice. I was able to stay out of the Quebec protest thread as it looked like everybody was blocking the streets, and therefore there was nobody for me to root for. My thoughts are with the inconvenienced people of Quebec.
posted by thirteen at 11:15 AM on April 23, 2001


My weblog would be closer to stardust
something for the greed in all of us
also, my weblog would be tons of fun
but alas,
I do not have one :(


posted by samsara at 11:36 AM on April 23, 2001


best internet radio you're not listening to: erika.net.
posted by sudama at 12:11 PM on April 23, 2001


Mr. 13, sir, I am one of those 29 hits/day. You are bookmarked along with a lot of the other weirdos happily polluting this thread. Mainly because I tend to prefer the off-kilterish blogs more than what I consider to be the rather generic "popular" blogs ("Saw Crouching Tiger today, it was really cool . . ."). You in particular have a deadpan tone to your writing that continually cracks me up, even when you're talking about something completely mundane.

I can't believe there's another Nader thread. I must have mugged a nun in a previous life to deserve this crappy karma.

I have no blog. My home computer is a hopeless relic, essentially a Speak 'N Spell on back-alley steroids, and even if it wasn't, I'm so technologically backwards that even something like wonderful, lovely Blogger would fill me with such nameless, Cthulhuan dread that I would surely expire right there at the keyboard.

Also, I can't believe you jerks have been frolicking over here for so long without telling me.
posted by Skot at 2:14 PM on April 23, 2001


[FreeBSD: The Saga Continues]

I have a deep hatred of no-name NE2000 NICs, you can guarantee that they will flat out fail to work with anything other than Windows.

Well, yes this one has given me fits, but I've never failed to get it to work on Linux, the only sticking point was the IRQ and I/O settings, which I've checked and double-checked with FreeBSD.

I guess you're getting a screen much like this one. When I set up my webserver I just kept removing network drivers until there were zero conflicts in the top left corner.

Yep, I get that screen and get rid of all the conflicts. Still no help. I would be curious to know if it's possible to get back to that screen without starting over completely.

If the kernel is complaining of too many devices at IRQ 7 then I would think that this would be flagged in the config screen.

Nope, it isn't. At the time (I'm away from the box right now), I can't recall what is listed on IRQ 7 on that screen, but it's only one thing. And the NIC is on IRQ 10. Ah well. Thanks for thinking about the problem anyway.
posted by daveadams at 3:45 PM on April 23, 2001


New problem:

Well, it's an old problem, but new to this thread. Okay, ever since I installed Windows 2000 on my PC at work, I've been unable to play RealAudio streams from NPR (e.g. archived All Things Considered). They'll start and maybe play for a few seconds or even a minute or two when I'm lucky. But at some point (and it's usually before any sound plays), I get an error complaining that Realplayer can't connect to the server. Blah blah blah. I've tried every configuration setting available (UDP, HTTP, auto-config), I'm not behind a firewall, and nearly every other Real stream seems to work great (I occasionally have the problem with Amazon music previews, but not nearly as often).

Any ideas?
posted by daveadams at 3:48 PM on April 23, 2001


This is fun. I'm preparing a page about web communities for my website and you're all proving what I was already writing. Net users are travellers - they'll move from page to page looking for something which interests them. Some are just looking for entertainment, like people flicking channels on their TV sets, they'll move from BuffyGuide to The Guardian fulfilling their information needs.

Some are actually looking for a place to belong. For some its a club or society - a newsgroup or fansite, some need the reassurance of a shared house, but some are looking for the city feeling - a place they can still be an individual but also be part of a wider community. This is what Metafilter has to offer.

But like a city, there are some things you're going to be interested in and something which will hold no interest. I find it very difficult to follow links about American politics (if someone could sit down and explain who Nadir is I'd really appreciate it). But I love the Flash links which appear from time to time. And the cultural links which draw my attention to things which I would otherwise consider. I especially like the fact that if I like someone's writing style or sense of humour, I can follow their nickname to their blog or favourite site and find out more about them - something you can't do so much in the real world (when was the last time you went up to someone you like the look of in the street and asked them what their favourite movie was?).

So perhaps everyone should be happy that Metafilter is getting more popular. Those of us who aren't interested in the more 'generic' should be able to tune these out and look at the more unusual stuff. And those for whom Metafilter is a primary news source can find that to. There is nothing which says it can't be all things for all people - and I can't wait for the time when I look at the members clock and see five figures . . . .
posted by feelinglistless at 3:53 PM on April 23, 2001


I'm being analyzed! I'm being analyzed! Come and see the violence inherent in the system!

:)

I can't wait for the time when I look at the members clock and see five figures . . . .

I can't wait for the time when I look at the number of comments in this thread and see five figures . . . .
posted by iceberg273 at 4:08 PM on April 23, 2001


I would like the Nader threads more if they weren't so repetitive. Same deal with the trade threads. I'll let the new blood plus the same old warriors hash it out, thanks. Although I have to say I was pleased to see johnb back here after so long away. Somehow it didn't seem right without him.

I think if I keep saying Nadir! Nadir! Nadir! it could be my official MeFi Tagline(©).
posted by norm at 5:06 PM on April 23, 2001


Travellers? I'm stuck here like stink on shit.

RE: Real Player - don't install it. Those people will track ya mind and force you to buy copies of Catcher in the Rye and moist towlettes.

RE: IRQ 7 - What devices are on it, fer gods sake? Why not remove all your hardware then put it back in piece by piece. I find that if you do that, nothing works, but at least you have a reason.

RE: 28 hits - I get slightly more than that, but not by much. My Sims page gets shitloads, maybe from search requests and a fortetous link from the EA website. But I sold my soul to them and now I'm EA's bitchboy.
posted by Neale at 7:07 PM on April 23, 2001


Eh, I just figured I needed some sort of representation in the longest thread ever. Thus I have now cemented my place in history. Yay for me.
posted by zempf at 7:18 PM on April 23, 2001


Neale:

RE Realplayer... generally I would agree with you, but I need my NPR!!!

RE IRQ 7 - It doesn't tell me what devices are on it, fer gods sake! Believe me, I'm all for full disclosure. And taking away the keyboard and system clock and such are kinda iffy as far as future functionality goes...
posted by daveadams at 7:45 PM on April 23, 2001


Ah, parallel port is IRQ 7... I deleted it, and am now attempting a new install... oh wait, on the error log virtual terminal (Shift-F2) I'm getting these messages... "stray irq 7" repeated five times, then "too many stray irq 7's; not logging any more."

I would just give up and go back to Linux if I didn't NEEEEED FreeBSD for something... unless one of you kind folks has access to a FreeBSD system with root-level access... Anyone?
posted by daveadams at 8:00 PM on April 23, 2001


BTW, has this thread suddenly gotten really noisy and off topic? I thought this was the FreeBSD/Realplayer assistance thread... Am I wrong??
posted by daveadams at 8:13 PM on April 23, 2001


...has this thread suddenly gotten really noisy...?

Ssssshhhcccrrrukkkkkrrrrgghiadmloimakjnh902nne
w3k'[9KMK0mhuar5a;$l][kr1=am,sjrmnsn9*ap07u%
n,aoam.xi!9,/akjf(mszu7?3KJo9d,pm,p,aoldm,a+a,m
dp89q5n'[U.m3P>Lju39ldmn0\l9Fe85rnho90mku7nx
h"g3jmal;0a,m038p763|2h9maaiodVmd45`jnsopg0
a4-s.mfoi`~@$aq}99uyla[keaIw%83d:ie@oaP'y2oa
89lkYH}(I?a1_]a,&77rp2#sqmnbbbbrrrrrccchhhhhtt?
posted by redfoxtail at 8:32 PM on April 23, 2001


zen koan: what is the sound of one modem negotiating?
posted by sudama at 9:21 PM on April 23, 2001


Classical internet radio
posted by stazen at 9:24 PM on April 23, 2001


[FreeBSD: The Final Chapter]

Wahoo! Hardware problems solved! I guess it was just a misconfiguration on the card. I ran the config utility a zillion times, setting it one way and the other, then trying to set up the OS the same way. I finally got it to work. So now I'm back to being shiny and happy again. Thanks for everyone's advice and words of encouragement. I'll go back to posting nonsense again.
posted by daveadams at 9:50 PM on April 23, 2001


Yes. Don't you dare let sensiblity and usefulness creep back into this thread again!
posted by Neale at 3:38 AM on April 24, 2001


Waaaay back in sixth grade, when I was but 11 years old, I happened to obtain a 4x6 yellow legal pad that looked perfectly suitable for drawing comics in. I had a real obsession with drawing comics back then. From Sun Wars to Axe Terrorism, I'd filled countless notebook with stories both silly and plagiarized.

But even with all my experience, I couldn't convincingly draw anything more realistic than stick figures. I was in a morbid-humor stage at the time, so I drew a comic called YIKES, the premise of which was that in each issue, within the space of one page, a stick-figure hero would win our hearts and then meet an untimely and often humorously ironic demise.

The first issue told the tale of an anonymous stick man and the cruel twist of fate which took his penciled life far too soon. You see, he was attempting to shoot a pistol, and when the gun didn't fire, he perhaps-not-so-wisely looked down the barrel to see what might be causing the problem. The gun then went off at this most inopportune time, and the final frame captured the moment of his death, when--bullet already behind his head, blood and brains splattering out in both directions--he uttered his final word in a primal scream to end all primal screams: "YIKES!"

After the success of YIKES #1, I went on to fill the forty remaining pages of that legal pad and about 40 in yet another pad with more and more stories of stick people, some innocent, some not, to whom fate dealt a mortal blow quite sooner than they expected.

My teacher one day came across these comics and was quite concerned, asking if my parents knew I drew comics like this. I said yes, even though I think at that point they hadn't seen the comics. She let me go with a worried glance, but that didn't dissuade me from drawing more and more.

When I think back to that time and consider the current attitude in schools across the country towards kids creating images and stories of violence, I wonder what would have happened to me in that new environment. Perhaps I would have been suspended for a few days, maybe even expelled. My name and my family's names would be all over the national news. Would they link my violent thoughts to all the Transformers, He-Man, and Robotech I watched? Maybe they would have linked it to the violent games like Burger Blaster or Legend of Zelda that surely desensitized my mind.

One thing's for sure: my life would have followed a different path. I would have had different friends at a different high school. I probably never would have gone to Arkansas Governor's School, an experience that changed my life and introduced me to a wider variety and deeper meaning to art music than I could ever have guessed existed. My life would be less rich, less valid without input from Paul Hindemith, Henryk Gorecki, John Adams, Arvo Part, John Cage, Darius Milhaud, William Walton, and the rest.

I probably wouldn't have gone to the same university, and I never would have met Mollie. I wouldn't be living in Springfield, Missouri, and I most likely wouldn't be here on Metafilter, typing this story. Or maybe I would, but just from a slightly different perspective.
posted by daveadams at 7:31 AM on April 24, 2001


When I was in elementary school, I used to draw complex... umm... what are they called, Rube Goldberg? machines that would start with a marble dropping, safes falling, candles burning, shoes on wheels running on treadmills, etc., etc., ultimately resulting in a weapon (gun, cannon, nuclear warhead) being discharged.

I don't really think anyone found those drawings. I didn't keep them secret, huddled against my chest or anything, but no one really ever paid attention to me in school.

That's not to say I was a loner or wasn't paid enough attention or anything like that. I was a solid B-student through most of my elementary and high school careers quite intentionally. I was picked on enough for being fat, I didn't need the heat from being smart, and by maintaining a b-average (with the occasional A in math and music and computers) I was doing well enough to keep my parents happy, yet under the radar of everyone else.

That's not as bad as it sounds, and I'm really not bitter anymore. There's just something about 1142 that makes the personal stories want to come out.

I'm still wondering which rock is portraying me in the MeFi Movie. :-)
posted by cCranium at 7:47 AM on April 24, 2001


I'm still wondering which rock is portraying me in the MeFi Movie. :-)
You want I should cast another doughnut? You have it good, the unholy corpse of Alexander Hamilton is playing our friend Dave.

The real question has been why did I pick P.S. Hoffman to play JohnB, as I have no clue what he looks like, other than I know he a vegetarian (holgate excepted) so he is prolly not so big as Mr. H. The reason is that before he confessed to the rather obvious condition of chronic vegetable eating, I pictured him thus. Dave Adam's gets words, JohnB turns into a hefty moviestar, and the universe become that much more magical. I am hoping for a larger budget so that I can be a CGI donut.

Yesterday my site got 60 visits for some reason, I attribute it to Skot's kind words and the fact that my poor spelling is catching on with the kids. My wife set up our counter, and disabled the Java that collects referrer logs, but I can see entry pages. The largest entry point to my site other than the main page is the week where my wife and I started playing the Sims, and I posted a pic of my first self portrait skin. I was confused because other things are posted during that time, and I did not know what the focus was, but now Sims + Skins show up in my search reports all the time. I got bored with the Sims pretty quick, and never finished the other skins I was working on. Mine looks pretty close to me, but it is a weird way to draw, and I made my mouth a little too big. I am wearing the shirt pictured today, and look almost identical to what you see other than the fact that I have since killed the concrete colored Converse One Stars pictured. I also did not know how to modify the wireframe to give myself a bit more gut than is pictured there, otherwise the build is pretty good.

I thank Skot again, and urge him to consider a blogspot.

I went home and took a look at my new gas meter. I am somewhat confused. I expected an antenna, and an obvious radio area. I am now concerned that it is intentionally hidden to keep jerks like me from reverse working the system as I planned. Equally terrifying is the thought that the thing might be using all my gas pipes as a huge antenna and now my meter could be read from nearby planets. I am fairly handy, but I am not anxious to risk the felony or explosion that would surly take place if I start unbolting junk. People's Gas has won the day, but not the war.

I might snap a picture and send it to 2600, as I have always wanted to send them something, but seldom have anything they would not already be familiar with.

Who do you want to play you Rob?

I was really surprised by something Doug said in a Metatalk thread the other day. He said he had 25 years experience at PR, so unless he started when he was 9, he is older than me. Now Doug has probably been more sarcastic to me than anybody but he is consistent and I like him fine. I never would have guessed he could be my elder.

Axl Rose as Chaz
James Earl Jones as the voice of Neale
Joel H. Osmett as Young Sudama
Freddie Prinz Jr. as RatBastard
Liv Tyler as Sapphire Blue
David Hyde Pierce as Sean M
Bruce Campbell as Mpolo
the DelRubio Tripletts as Freespeech/privateparts/rightwinger
cCranium as cCranium

This is a lot of work, I deserve a cold cool Diet Coke.

I don't have people for Norm and RedFoxTail yet, but I love you both a totally awesome amount. TLF! have a great summer.

I really want to know who DoublePostGuy is.

Do you know what it means when your local phone provider runs your phone cable through someone else's conduit? That's right, it means I am going to have a very bad day.

I am going to a rock star surprise party at a roller rink tonight, anybody want to come along? There will be rock stars. And probably a band, last year it was the ever so suave Silkworm.
posted by thirteen at 10:08 AM on April 24, 2001


Just in time for the MeFi movie cast party, I've thrown together an '1142' shirt at cafepress. On the front is the number 1142 and the opening line to the longest thread in MeFi history. On the back is the 1142 theme song.

(No markup, of course.)

Enjoy.
posted by iceberg273 at 11:20 AM on April 24, 2001


I'm still wondering which rock is portraying me in the MeFi Movie.

cC, I've always pictured you as some kind of igneous rock, but a quartz might also work... or a river pebble.
posted by daveadams at 11:54 AM on April 24, 2001


I've a confession to make; while I found him confoundedly annoying at first, I now look up to Postroad as that grandfatherly figure I had but never appreciated, kinda akin to Elisabeth's bond with Kentucky Joe.

No, really. Besides the fact that "Postroad" sounds like something that you would have for breakfast such as everyone's favorite caffeine-free hot beverage "Postum", or a fuel additive distilled from sorghum by Post Cereals, Postroad's very essence exudes grandfatherly charm and the capability to kill you as soon as look at you. He's wacky, he's wild, non sequiturs abound, and you never know if his comments are due to real conviction or the "damn it all to hell" musings of advanced age.

Speaking of "damn it all to hell", I'd like to announce the discovery or a remarkable new painkiller called Damitoll.

And so, I would like to present:

Wilford Brimley as Postroad

or

Abe Simpson as Postroad

or

Phyllis Diller as FAB4GIRL.



"it's the right thing to do..."
posted by Avogadro at 12:05 PM on April 24, 2001


Of course, Avogadro should be played by Dr. Manhattan, as suggested by (go figure) Skot.
posted by iceberg273 at 12:15 PM on April 24, 2001


I don't know who I want to play me, I'm just being neurotic about the process you used to determine that a rock would make for an adequate representation of me. Is it because I'm as dull as one, as stable as one (shyeah, right) or is it because you could see your gravel driveway from the window as you typed?

No, I have no idea if you have a gravel driveway or not, I'm just hoping to weird you out like you did to me with that knowing my shoesize thing. Yeesh. The stuff I share with you people.

Oh, and I don't want to be myself, I can't actually act. I type well, but like, using my vocal chords to express myself? Meep!

And I always pictured Sapphie Blue as being more elegant than Liv Tyler.

The Internet needs a CafePress that makes t-shirts that won't fall apart after two days of being worn while reading this thread from start to finish.

I'd consider a mousepad though, if I ever actually bought anything online and if shipping to Canada didn't double the price of any CafePress item. Blech.

Oh! And I think Doug was being sarcastic. I mean, considering the rest of his post was basically one big ol' humourous insult in ManyFacesOfTroll's direction, I took the "25 year" thing to be a joke as well.

I think the only way we're going to figure out who DPG is would be to go to San Francisco, manage to lure Ev out of the Pyra offices for a beer or something, break into the offices, hack past whatever security's on this server box, crack open SQL Server and look at the tables directly.

Hmm... I smell a plot for the MetaFilter Movie.

For the end scene, someone has to peel off Ev's face, only to find out that it he was actually Dave Winer all along. "And I would've gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you darned MetaFilistines!"

Then we could all dance to groovy music while the camera is lifted into the sky, through the clouds until it's just the earth floating in space, and there'll be a caption and the caption will says "more addictive than crack."

(the special edition DVD release will have an "end caption generator" toy that does that shot but has a different caption every time.)

Actually, I don know who I want to play me. Y'know that guy? He was in Almost Famous (which I watched this weekend) as the older music journalist guy. And he was in High Fidelity, which I really need to watch. And other movies. But he's just "that guy." I'll probably never know his name.

Wow. He's apparently more than one guy. He's Philip Seymour Hoffman! Damn, that's already Johnb. Huh. Weird.

Well then I want to be Jack Black, 'cause he's the guy that I thought was PS Hoffman in High Fidelity. He even looks a little like me in this picture.

Well, if I'm going to be a rock, I at least want to be a cool rock. Can I be like, a meteorite or something? Something more interesting than just a piece of gravel, at least.
posted by
cCranium at 12:27 PM on April 24, 2001


aw crap.
posted by cCranium at 12:28 PM on April 24, 2001


Quick and impolite thoughts:

Postroad chaps my ass too, let's put him in a home already. I'll kick in if Matt starts a Metafilter puts Postroad in a home fund.

Liv Probably is not right for Ms. Blue (whom I like all the time), but who is?

No gravel on my driveway Mr. Cranium, but I hope you enjoy that Canadian beer in your fridge.

Metafilter: The search for DouplepostGuy

William Shatner as DoublepostGuy

I misread the line I quoted cCranium on in my last post. I thought he said why instead of which. I'm not so smart.

Again SapphireBlue is a really classy dame, the RatBastard fella is lucky up to his teeth.

cCranium has a home computer, I know these things.

Avogadro will appear in a dream sequence, and be played by Ricky Martin.

Any of you people do any serious gardening? Mostly interested in food gardening, but decorative is worth discussing too.

I'm totaly making stuff up here, I don't know who should play iceburg, or Lia.

Jason Priestly as dhartung
posted by thirteen at 12:59 PM on April 24, 2001


Damn, I forgot to add the "I'm just kidding about Postroad" comment at the end. I notice he trolls for Bush supporters, and I think he had a bad divorce, but other than that I know nothing about the man.

I also would not support Metafilters right to commit it's members to nursing homes.
posted by thirteen at 1:06 PM on April 24, 2001


Matthew Broderick as aaron (with glasses, for some reason I've always picutred aaron as having glasses, although no other characteristics come to mind).

I think Wilford Brimley should play Dave Winer.

Tarrence and Philip as Brad Graham.

Matthew McConoghey (or however it's spelled) as Derek Powazek.

So who has the mad flash skillz necessary to produce this baby?
posted by daveadams at 1:19 PM on April 24, 2001


Actually, right now I only have Irish beer in my fridge.

I was going to recommend someone for Ms. Blue, but I forgot to. And then I forgot who. Umm.

I just had a mental image of William Shatner reciting reprimanding haikus. Teehee!

I think Matt is going to have to play himself for the movie. There isn't anyone else I've seen that blends that geek look with that athletic look so well.
posted by cCranium at 1:20 PM on April 24, 2001


SapphireBlue: Kate Winslet.

Postroad kills me sometimes. He also strikes me as that cool, crusty uncle who would buy you beer.
posted by Skot at 1:21 PM on April 24, 2001


I wonder if Postroad is sneezing a lot (a japanese superstition (you'll have to scroll down a little)).

---------------------------------------------

I don't know who should play iceberg

Maybe Ari Green could play me. Apparently he looks more East Indian than an East Indian. (Of course, I'm a West Indian-of-East Indian-descent-German-Dutch-Sri Lankan-Canadian from the prairies, but that's another story).

Which I may as well tell here.

See, on my mother's side, I have Dutch, German and Sri Lankan ancestry (my mother immigrated to Canada as a child in the 1950s). On my father's side, I have East Indian ancestry and a British colonial name (my father went from a small island in the Caribbean, to a slightly larger island in the North Sea, eventually ending up in North America in the 70s). My parents met in the United States and settled on the Canadian Prairies.

We did not live in a sod hut.

So, growing up I didn't have any really good East Indian role models.

Except for my pediatrician, who can do the macarena (this occurred at a New Year's Eve party a few years ago; I've been scarred ever since). And macarena dancing pediatricians don't necessarily make good role models.

Which is why I'm a small town Canadian from the prairies, trapped in a genome that bears the stamp of colonialism in both the east and west indies.

This does not explain why I love pasta so much.
posted by iceberg273 at 1:54 PM on April 24, 2001


Better do my duty then, and since 1142 should at least be a creative place I offer a poem I wrote once when I was in love . . .

A Smile

When her face moved –
her skin vibrated
in the wind.
His eyes
followed the edges
of her mouth
as they rose
and carried
her lips
into a smile.
It was
as though
he could
see each muscle
moving in
a well-rehearsed ballet,
where the silence
of captivation
was all
the music
that was
needed.
For a moment,
she was
the world
and all
within it ...

As to who I should be in the film version, since Erin Brockovich can get Julia Roberts (what music is that?), I'm going for Colin Farrell, assuming he can do an English accent. He doesn't look anything like me, but put Tom Hanks next to Jim Lovell.

Designing my website (no self promotion allowed here then) has been an absolute trial, not least finding a title I'm happy with. Let me explain. Basically for years I had an idea fixed in my head.

Years ago – in the early nineties, I moved into a flat across the park from Tris, a friend from school. Since we were so close geographically now, it seemed silly not to visit each other now and then, and we became good friends based upon our mutual interests in the films of Steve Martin and Woody Allen, American TV and both hating our A-level English Literature course.

Being creative people (well Tris is) there was an inevitability that we’d collaborate on some sort of project or other. Our second project was a short film about the last man on earth being locked in our school. Tris gave a startlingly good performance, and with the help of my vaguely literate script and the naturalistic camera work of our other friend Dave, created footage that evoked the Dogma Manifesto years before it’s time. Sadly, however, a freak exam revision disaster has meant this gem has not seen the light of day.

The first project was a television series. At the time, we were big fans of Northern Exposure and Thirtysomething was fresh in our minds. We conceived of an ensemble show about a group of twentysomethings living in an old Georgian terrace, three girls, three boys. Some shows would take place in the same locale or at an event, some would have overlapping storylines. It would be funny, dramatic and gorgeous to look at, the visuals evoking New York movies like ‘when harry met sally’. This was 1992. Trend setting as we were we could not have foreseen, Friends, This Life, Dawson’s Creek, Hollyoaks, My So-called Life, Metropolis, Cold Feet, Party of Five , , As If and the raft of other shows I’ve missed off this list which were all in some way similar our show which never got made. Even the title sequence, a leaf floating along the street and passing by our characters, became the opening title sequence for Forrest Gump.

What set our show apart from all these shadows, which would follow would be the strongly seasonal aspect. And there would be two series a year to take account of this – and a green leaf in the titles for the spring-summer series, a brown leaf for the autumn-winter series.

Then, one night, when we were trying to put a title to the shows, after we’d rejected the now lamented ‘Real Lives’, ‘Friends like these’ and ‘Marmion’ (the name of the road the show would be set in) in desperation we went to our A-Level English books, and came across the collected poems of Gerard Manley Hopkins. A Catholic priest, he concerned himself with nature, so if we were going to be looking for something seasonal, this was the place to be. ‘Pied Beauty’ said little and sounded like a classical music compilation. ‘God’s Grandeur’ is the sequel to Christian movie ‘The Omega Code’. But then I read out Spring and Fall. It fitted. Everything, all of it. It was the show.

That show would stay as scrawled pencil notes, lost in the rush for qualifications. Tris took his to America, and I went to Leeds for three years. But each time I sat down to watch ‘My So-called Life’, I’d be reminded of all the dream sequences we were going to have to explain why Toby was shy but could always offer the right advice; or Chrissy taking the perfect photographs.

But something about Spring and Fall wouldn’t die. So evocative. Spring. Fall. Granted the Fall was an Americanisation of Autumn, which I’d only use to annoy my best friend, Chris.

So when at University I was producing a video about my life in Leeds and I was looking for the name for a phoney production company, Spring and Fall fitted the bill. So Spring and Fall Productions was born. When I created something for my course or wherever, it would be a Spring and Fall Production. When I first started using the web, my handle, call sign, user ID, nickname, would be Springer (although not for long, what with its connotations). I even developed a poster campaign, with the tag-line ‘guaranteed to wake you up after a hard night’, something oblique and not saying much about the product, an idea repeated by manufacturers of trainers, suits and games consoles.

When university ended, and unemployment meant that whatever business Spring and Fall was going to be drifted into the distance, I still kept it around – as a kind of lucky charm. I even used it for a new idea I had for a television series. Not that it fitted – so in the second draft the title was the first thing I changed.

So then it became my e-mail address. Seemed the easiest thing to keep it around, other than turning it into a chain or a tattoo (but I have one and could do without the other). That way whenever people wanted to contact me it would still be there. When I got the internet at home, I automatically used it to set up my account.

Then I decided what my website would be about. And found out the address could only have my e-mail address in – and there it was Reality Check @ Spring and Fall.

[quick side bar - does everyone do this? Did Rebecca Blood always have the lovely title 'Rebecca's Pocket' in mind since she was a kid? Looking at Bradlands it seems that Weblog titles are like band names and there are probably some great stories behind them, maybe someone should set up a page about them . . . I wonder . . .]

The idea behind Reality Check was to collect stories about those times when people's lives took a turn for the strange, for example. Unfortunately I didn't plan the thing at all well, and it ended up look a touch pants and unreadable. Then I discovered weblogs, and realised that people were actually doing it themselves, so what was the point in them coming to me? So back to the drawing board . . .

The couple of things which did work were lists. A list of articles and in-jokes. So I thought perhaps I could build a new site around that idea. But as I worked on 'Listlessness', things were beginning to look a bit static. Which led me to combining the two. Creating 'feeling listless'. Which was a liberating experience, I can tell you . . .

So now I've a sort of weblog. There isn't a Blog as such. But there is writing about my life with related links (which I suppose blows open the definition of a Blog - does it have to be updated every day). These are long entries . . . and while short entries are fine most of the time, sometimes things happen which require more than seven or so lines. Sometimes you need a long, long, piece of writing.

The kind of thing mathowie was talking about. If you read the first few lines, and you don't want to go further, skip it. After all you probably skip most of your daily newspaper. It's OK. Whoever wrote it won't know you've been there anyway . . .
posted by feelinglistless at 2:02 PM on April 24, 2001


It seems appropriate that the longest post I've seen is in the longest thread.

Note also, listless, that (and this should be reasonably obvious from the progression this thread's taken) rules that apply to MeFi do not necessarily apply to 1142.

For instance, without fear of reprimand I can link to my blog and even to my perpetually coming soon project.

Hell, for no apparent reason whatsoever, I can even link to my non-resolving domain, which is oh-so-cool, but I just can't think of what to do with it.

Oh, and speaking of Matt, despite his explanation on how to pronounce his last name, I still think of him as a haufee.
posted by cCranium at 2:26 PM on April 24, 2001


It's bad enough that I'm lazy.

I have lots of ideas for sites and web projects that I'll never get done. Worse, I'm afraid of talking about them for fear that someone else will think it's a good idea, beat me to implementing it, and get all the credit.

Does that make me selfish, too?
posted by daveadams at 2:53 PM on April 24, 2001


Or maybe I'm just afraid that someone will tell me what a lame idea it is, and I'll have wasted all this time thinking about it, planning it.
posted by daveadams at 2:56 PM on April 24, 2001


I really should start riding my bike to work again. Not only is the weather warmer now (finally!), but I've run out of bus passes, and my wife's patience with me bumming rides is growing thin.
posted by daveadams at 3:03 PM on April 24, 2001


Dave's Recommended Art Music for Anyone (#1 in a series):

Symphony No. 3 by Henryk Mikolaj Górecki as performed by Dawn Upshaw (soprano) and the London Sinfonietta and conducted by David Zinman

Górecki's haunting tribute to his homeland of Poland is one of the most beautiful and mesmerizingly emotional musical works ever written. Dawn Upshaw's fantastic vocal performance adds more weight and power than any instrumentation alone could bring to this, or any piece.

Górecki avoids the atonalism and indirectness that have turned many casual listeners away from contemporary art music while retaining his artistic integrity and producing a powerful work that can bring even the most cynical listener to tears.

Even if you've never liked classical music in your life, Górecki's third symphony is the classical album to own. For die-hard music lovers, if you don't have this in your collection, you're either missing out or you just don't like good music. If you own just one CD, this should be it!

Yes, it really is that great. My only complaint about this album is that it refuses to rip cleanly to MP3, but that's probably because my disc is scratched from being handled so much.

Go buy this CD right now.
posted by daveadams at 3:27 PM on April 24, 2001


Ha, DRAMA.... I really didn't do that on purpose.
posted by daveadams at 3:29 PM on April 24, 2001


daveadams - you sound a bit like Marti McFly in 'Back to the Future' - "I just can't take that kinda rejection . . ." Grab a spoon. The worst that can happen is you'll get a link on here and suddenly your counter'll shoot up from 92 to the low 3000s (and counting) . . .
posted by feelinglistless at 3:30 PM on April 24, 2001


Okay, speaking of our weblogs, self-linking, and other fun party games, here's an audience-participation adventure for you: My weblog, Your Pocket Guide, comes in themed volumes. The themes (to which the entries always adhere, if loosely) come in commonly-associated pairs, such as Your Pocket Guide to Fits and Starts, Your Pocket Guide to Smoke and Mirrors, and so on. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to think of more, more, many more of these evocative pairs (cups and saucers, cuts and scrapes, death and taxes, fear and loathing, field and stream, fire and brimstone...). I can never have too many in reserve.
posted by redfoxtail at 3:59 PM on April 24, 2001


I want Colin Mochrie to play me in the MeFi movie. I would also like to point out that I am A-OK with the traffic that my humble blog gets, and only regret that I don't get paid to write it. Oh, wait, in a way I am...

Who else blogs from work?
posted by norm at 4:43 PM on April 24, 2001


How come Matt does not come and visit us anymore?
posted by thirteen at 4:48 PM on April 24, 2001


In the MeFi movie, I would like a brief, uncredited role as God.
posted by Lirp at 6:07 PM on April 24, 2001


Or, failing that, as Wilford Brimley.
posted by Lirp at 6:08 PM on April 24, 2001


RE: T-shirt. I would buy one, but the Pacific Pesos (ie Aus dollar) is so sunk now I'd have to get a second mortgage to afford one. Matt's coming to Oz though, so maybe you guys could send one with him.

RE: Blogging from work: I do so AAAAALLLL the time. Where else? Home life is to precious.

RE: Comics. I used to write a comic series called "psycho chicken", which i dearly loved. I filled whole books with the damn thing. With flash, perhaps, I can bring him back to life.

I remember I once in the fifth grade I drew a neked woman with her hands wrapped around her, on a beach with a sign saying "do not steal swimwear". My teacher found it and I got in shit for it. I blamed it all on a friend in Melbourne. I felt so guilty pinning it on him. Of course, he never found out, but still...
posted by Neale at 6:38 PM on April 24, 2001


hmmm©©©

bangers and mash, hit and run, fast and loose, shoots and scores, foot and mouth ¥feet and mouths? nevermind¤©
posted by Avogadro at 8:35 PM on April 24, 2001


Blog from work? Where else?

Oh, I used to spend a couple hours cruising the web each night for links, but that gets old fast. There's TV to watch here. At work, there's nothing to do really, so I can surf all day and blog what's interesting.

The only problem is when I run out of sites to visit. Then what am I supposed to do?
posted by daveadams at 8:38 PM on April 24, 2001


Avogadro, what's up with your ©s and such?
posted by daveadams at 8:49 PM on April 24, 2001


Do you guys realize this page is 285k in size? No wonder it takes so long over my modem... Pretty soon posting from home will no longer be an option.
posted by daveadams at 8:52 PM on April 24, 2001


Good gravy! I haven't the foggiest idea how that happened.

By the bye, I usually schedule my 1142 visits before doing some non-internet event, such as getting a beer or visits to the bathroom and such.

(however, the comment preview takes forever...)
posted by Avogadro at 9:15 PM on April 24, 2001


I'm sleepy. Time for bed!
posted by daveadams at 9:49 PM on April 24, 2001


Good night!
posted by daveadams at 9:53 PM on April 24, 2001


When you swim in the creek
And an eel bites your cheek
That's...a moray.
posted by bradlands at 11:23 PM on April 24, 2001


Well, thank providence for DSL! Hey, anyone else notice we're getting really close to 500 posts? I think this is 495.

(from work, natch)
posted by norm at 6:36 AM on April 25, 2001


(My at-work-blogging is directly proportional to the amount of work that I have to do.)

Iceberg 273's Recommended Science Tunes for Anyone (#1 in a series).

(the music is here, if you want to sing along [at work].)

Gregor Mendel had some peas!
A, 2Aa, a
And some of those peas had dominant genes!
A, 2Aa, a
So he cross-breeded them, and he cross-breeded them,
With some green peas here,
And some yellow peas there,
Here some peas! There some peas! Everywhere some peas! Peas!
Gregor Mendel ate those peas.
Yum-yum-yum-yum. Yum.
posted by iceberg273 at 6:54 AM on April 25, 2001


So this is 497?
posted by daveadams at 7:02 AM on April 25, 2001


And this, 498?
posted by daveadams at 7:03 AM on April 25, 2001


Yes. . .
posted by iceberg273 at 7:04 AM on April 25, 2001


Someone really should do something interesting and exciting for big ol' post 500. Who will it be? What will they do?
posted by daveadams at 7:04 AM on April 25, 2001


Oh, no!
posted by iceberg273 at 7:04 AM on April 25, 2001


DAMMIT, iceberg!!! I swear that post wasn't there when I previewed!!!

Actually, it's all the more amusing and ironic this way, I suppose.
posted by daveadams at 7:04 AM on April 25, 2001


I was trying to set up the 500th post for Dave, thinking that he had a great punchline ready to go. In the end, I unintentionally set up the 500th post for Dave, who had a great set up ready to go. What will happen now?
posted by iceberg273 at 7:09 AM on April 25, 2001


*weep*

well, there's always comment #1000
posted by Avogadro at 7:27 AM on April 25, 2001


And at this rate, we should hit that in about 6 weeks (give or take 2 days).
posted by Avogadro at 7:28 AM on April 25, 2001


But don't hold me to that (unless, of course, it proves correct).
posted by Avogadro at 7:30 AM on April 25, 2001


iceberg, thanks for trying... Matt, this is why we need a list of currently online members, and perhaps a chatroom for each individual thread. At least for 1142...
posted by daveadams at 7:50 AM on April 25, 2001


Not that Matt's reading...
posted by daveadams at 7:50 AM on April 25, 2001


Not that I blame him for not reading this thread...
posted by daveadams at 7:51 AM on April 25, 2001


Avogadro, I say we set up a pool. I think the 1000th post will be made on June 4 at 4:25am PST. Whaddya say?

Anyone have any neet web-based generic date-pool software?

Hey, that's a good idea...
posted by daveadams at 7:53 AM on April 25, 2001


Shhhh, forget I ever mentioned it. ;)
posted by daveadams at 7:53 AM on April 25, 2001


Hey guys, guess what? You know how I spent untold hours trying to get FreeBSD installed on my home PC so I could get a certain package to compile that just didn't seem to work on my shell account at pair? Well, guess what? I finally figured it out... on pair (well, at least the first part I was stuck on...). So all that work was for naught.

Well, not really, it's always nice to get some experience with yet-another operating system. I'll be exceedingly happy to go back to Linux, though... ;)
posted by daveadams at 7:59 AM on April 25, 2001


Woo hoo!

The SDRAM Fairy just brought me 128MB of memory. Apparently someone up the chain thought I asked for it for my PC and since it's so cheap these days (and also since we're nearing the end of a budget year and still have money left over), I guess he felt inclined to buy it. I already have 256MB along with dual 500MHz PIIIs, so I don't need the extra RAM, but I'm not complaining.

It's kind of silly really. They whine and complain when I ask for books to do my job because they cost $50 or $60 each; they refuse to get me a $200 CD burner or even a DVD-ROM drive; but then they go out and buy me a $100 memory chip that I don't need and didn't ask for.

Now my only difficulty is figuring out if I should be unethical and take it home to put it in my home PC instead... I guess I shouldn't. It's tempting though. They don't keep track of things like memory chips very well.
posted by daveadams at 8:24 AM on April 25, 2001


Terrence and Philip? TERRENCE AND PHILIP?!
posted by bradlands at 8:40 AM on April 25, 2001


There is something about RAM that makes you want to eat it by the handful. I have 50 of those 128mb chips sitting in a box behind me right now. I look at them, and get all Scrooge McDuck in my desire to roll around on them and swim through SIMMS and DIMMS. Upgrade time is coming, spring is in the air.

Somebody should have come to the party with me last night. Kim Deal nearly ran over my foot with a roller skate, and this amazing south side roller rink band played all the hard rock hits from the 70's, along with their own originals that also sounded like hard rock hits from the 70's!

I keep wanting to put ascii art on this page, but I am sure it would not appear right on most of your browsers.

Dave: You want a DVD-Rom drive, or a DVD-RAM drive? I have a RAM drive on my home cpu, and I have not been thrilled. Granted I have bought the world's cheapest RAM disc's, but I am also the only one I know who has one. If I get reliable media, I am sure it will be great archiving on the cheap, but I had larger dreams. When it does work it is a dream. Copying two gigs onto a disk as fast as a zip is astounding, especially when I think of how long it would take to burn all that.

What do all you people trust for cd-rw brands? I now think Maxell sucks. I have liked TDK and Kodak thus far, but still have an unacceptable failure rate.

Today I learned that the lyrics to Kraftwerk's Autobahn do not go "fun, fun, fun on the Autobahn" but rather "fahrn, fahrn, fahrn on the Autobahn". I don't know what "fahrn means, but those German's have a word for everything.

Metafilter hates libertarians.

Where is my damn bagel.

I filled up my digital camera before I went to the party last night, and I did not go home to download before I went, so I deleted redundant shots, and things I could easily reproduce. As the night went I deleted more, deciding the only real important things on the disk was some reference shots I took for some work I am doing. Somehow I managed to delete the most important one. Thank Odin for the Internet, I brought up a fuzzy picture that filled in the blank caused by the murdered photo.

Listening to: Kraftwerk/Endless Europe
posted by thirteen at 9:26 AM on April 25, 2001


"Fahrn" = "drive", I believe.
posted by redfoxtail at 9:55 AM on April 25, 2001


I think a pool for the 1000th post is a wonderful idea...
posted by Avogadro at 9:58 AM on April 25, 2001


except that unlike guessing the day we have x number of members...
posted by Avogadro at 10:00 AM on April 25, 2001


we have more control...
posted by Avogadro at 10:00 AM on April 25, 2001


over when...
posted by Avogadro at 10:01 AM on April 25, 2001


the 1000th...
posted by Avogadro at 10:02 AM on April 25, 2001


comment...
posted by Avogadro at 10:02 AM on April 25, 2001


takes...
posted by Avogadro at 10:03 AM on April 25, 2001


place.
posted by Avogadro at 10:03 AM on April 25, 2001


(I am so ashamed.)
posted by Avogadro at 10:04 AM on April 25, 2001


Drive, drive drive on the Autobahn!

Who will be be the 1000th poster? THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!

(que Queen music theme from Highlander)
posted by thirteen at 10:25 AM on April 25, 2001


I take my libertarian leanings and hide with them, usually.
posted by norm at 11:26 AM on April 25, 2001


I'm still going to sing "fun," dammit. It's more, uh, fun that way
posted by cCranium at 11:32 AM on April 25, 2001


Consider yourself warned- the time when a prize is established for the 1000th post to this thread is the time when I crank out a Perl script to post a few hundred comments. What can I say, I'm a sucker for contests (& finding out ways to rig them in my favor). And thus my contribution to the thread rises to two comments out of 500+ (or less than .4% of the total for the statistically inclined of you out there). Speaking of statistics, where's waxpancake when you need him? This thread definitely seems like one that could use a bit of charting.. number of posts by Neale, number of posts that are just one word, number of posts speculating about the number of posts..
posted by zempf at 11:43 AM on April 25, 2001


as well as the number of posts specifically about this thread without mention of any other topic...
posted by Avogadro at 12:00 PM on April 25, 2001


Current approximate thread weight: 12.4 bens.
posted by bradlands at 12:07 PM on April 25, 2001


[bradlands] Terrence and Philip? TERRENCE AND PHILIP?!

Sure, why not? They're cute, and they must be gay. Fits your description perfectly. Okay, so I don't know about the farting thing.
posted by daveadams at 1:29 PM on April 25, 2001


[thirteen] I have 50 of those 128mb chips sitting in a box behind me right now.

Want to send me a couple? My home PC could use an upgrade...

[thirteen] Dave: You want a DVD-Rom drive, or a DVD-RAM drive?

Well, I'd take a good DVD-RAM drive, but at this point, what I need is a DVD-ROM/CD-R/CD-RW drive. All I have now is a lame CD-ROM drive. Oh, it's 40x, but does that help me read the MSDN Library DVD? Nooooooooooo.
posted by daveadams at 1:32 PM on April 25, 2001


Ugh. Don't read that horrid beast from CD. Find yourself a big-ol hdd to slap it on. Much much quicker.
posted by cCranium at 1:35 PM on April 25, 2001


zempf, what's to stop me from writing my own script to do the same thing? ;) I'm sure Matt would love us even more if we managed to spam this thread... although if the script was written properly, you could avoid the massive bandwidth hogging that might go along with such a bot.

Still, that's just unfair. The contest rules would have to specifically include anti-bot language both disqualifying participants known to be manipulating the results as well as providing a way to discount the obviously-bot-generated posts. I'm sure we could get around your lack of ethics. :)
posted by daveadams at 1:36 PM on April 25, 2001


Don't read that horrid beast from CD. Find yourself a big-ol hdd to slap it on. Much much quicker.

Well, that's a good point. Unfortunately, my HD is full of MP3s, and until I get a CD-writer, they're going to have to stay there, taking up the 1.5GB or so I need. ;)

Still, what if I want to watch a movie at work? I neeeeed a DVD drive!
posted by daveadams at 1:38 PM on April 25, 2001


Neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed!
posted by daveadams at 1:39 PM on April 25, 2001


Did anyone other than cCranium read my epic post or am I missing the point?

Someone should write a list . . . you know you're addicted to 1142 when . . .

Have any other Hitchhiker's Guide fans noticed the significance of this thread?
posted by feelinglistless at 1:54 PM on April 25, 2001


Mmm, DVD. I want one for my laptop, plus a super-mighty battery so I can watch my own movies all I want on long plane flights (as opposed to some other kind of flight...?). Then I want the means with which to go on trans-Atlantic and trans-Pacific flights to my heart's content.

The non-laptop in my household does have a DVD player, and a lovely flatscreen monitor, so we use it quite a lot for movie-watching. This is especially nice as we have no TV. There's nothing quite so splendidly dorky as snuggling up in front of the computer for a classic silent movie. The Criterion Collection DVDs rock my world, by the way.
posted by redfoxtail at 2:07 PM on April 25, 2001


I watch DVD movies on my work Mac while I clean up, or work on other machines and it never fails, when ever some girl takes off her shirt so she can have sex with Ewan McGregor or whoever some woman comes walking into my office. The 20 seconds of nudity in a 2hour movie will always be seen by female eyes.

I have my heart set on a nice big Firewire drive, don't know when I will get around to buying one though.

Are we going to break Metafilter?

The number of Metafilterers is now so large that it is almost impossible that we don't have any members who have killed another human among us. I'm not saying murder per say, but somebody ran over somebody, or accidently stabbed a friend in the head.

I'm not ruling out murder either.

I've never killed, but I have seen a freaky number of people die in front of me. I am making a side feature for my website detailing the stuff I witnessed. This does not have anything to do with the 13 I mentioned earlier.

Of the 13 mentioned earlier, one might not count according to Neale's authoritaian guidelines. The girl in question was the sister of one of my direct classmates. She was in 8th grade when I was in 4th, and I saw her everyday, but she was not my friend. She worked at a McDonald's that was robbed one night, and she hesitated when commanded to move because she did not wish to get burned passing a sputtering frier. The robber (and that really does not sound like the right word for him) was apparently fidgety, and he killed her for not moving quick enough. He grabbed some cash and ran accross the street to a supermarket where he proceeded to hide in a Goodwill drop box, unaware that the patrons might be watching. The police caught him easily and I don't know anymore about what happened to him. Longtime readers will of course know that I would have no problem if he were executed, but this was the early 70's and we were not doing that yet. My whole class attended the funeral, and I remember I maintained excellent self control. Many of the other kids were crying, both boys and girls, and it freaked me out some. Oh, how I hated the killer. If I were to find out he was walking around free somewhere right now, I would be very unhappy indeed.

Hurray for technology!
posted by thirteen at 2:23 PM on April 25, 2001


They're cute, and they must be gay. Fits your description perfectly.

Ah, I see. By those criteria, then, may I counter-propose Matt Damon?
posted by bradlands at 2:30 PM on April 25, 2001


Although generally less beloved than ON THE TOWN -- which appeared four years later and has the admitted advantage of a zesty, sophisticated Comden & Green score -- ANCHORS AWEIGH (1945) has plenty to recommend it.

Kelly and Frank Sinatra are sailors on leave in Hollywood where, relentlessly in pursuit of dames, they become involved with a charming orphan and his beautiful aunt.

The main thing setting this Kelly/Sinatra sailor-suit musical apart from its New York-based followup is the famously irresistable extended dance duet between Kelly and Jerry the animated mouse (of TOM & JERRY fame).

Another famous rodent, Mickey Mouse, was originally meant to be Kelly's partner for the scene but Walt Disney refused to permit his star character to appear in an MGM film.

MGM turned to its own cartoon unit and the result is a thoroughly magical sequence. Combining live action with animation was a major innovation for the time, and the studio didn't skimp on details.

In fact, during an early screening someone noticed that Kelly's reflection shone on the floor as he danced while his tiny partner's did not. At great expense, the original animators were rehired to quickly add it before the film's theatrical release.

Look for young Dean Stockwell making his film debut as the orphan who melts Kelly's heart. Kathryn Grayson plays the lady love and famed pianist Jose Iturbi appears as himself.
posted by bradlands at 2:36 PM on April 25, 2001


Hey, cC, what happened to your weblog? After reading it the other day, I was so excited I added it to my Webcruiser list of sites I visit daily, but now I just get DNS errors.

Sniffle.
posted by daveadams at 2:39 PM on April 25, 2001


[feelinglistless] Did anyone other than cCranium read my epic post[?]

I did.
posted by daveadams at 2:40 PM on April 25, 2001


[redfoxtail] Mmm, DVD. I want one for my laptop, plus a super-mighty battery so I can watch my own movies all I want on long plane flights

No way, red, you need one of these!

Well, a laptop has a bigger screen (and you could buy a new laptop with a DVD drive for the same price), but you can't deny the great portability of such a device. They're so tempting every time I'm in Best Buy.

Speaking of DVDs on airplane flights. There are certain airports (can't remember which ones... except Atlanta) in the US where a company (can't remember the name) rents out both DVDs as well as these players. If your destination has the same service, you can drop your rentals off there or you can just return them where you got them originally. I think it's a great idea... I'd like nothing better on looooong airplane flights than to choose the movie I see. Then there's the added benefit of not paying five bucks to rent headphones.
posted by daveadams at 2:47 PM on April 25, 2001


Brad, fair enough. Matt Damon it is.
posted by daveadams at 2:48 PM on April 25, 2001


Terrance and Philip: Not Gay, Canadian.

This must mean I have to be played by Apu. Fucking Apu.
posted by anildash at 2:49 PM on April 25, 2001


Then all my typing wasn't in vain . . . can the t-shirts be bought internationally?

Criterion don't have a distribution deal in the UK, so we've got to endure the studios themselves releasing disks which mean the extras can be absolutely criminal. It is getting better, but Miramax are obvious offenders, their extra free edition of 'Rushmore' being an obvious example.

The only real innovation are budget ranges, in which back catalogue films are released for just under £13. Most films still clock in at £20 though, which is theft in comparisson to the US price.

(and yes I know about the region system. But only some UK DVD players can be hacked, and I wouldn't want to run the risk of messing up my pride and joy)
posted by feelinglistless at 2:55 PM on April 25, 2001


Dave, judging from the prodigious output of some people in this thread, I have my doubts that some posts aren't already the output of a script of some sort.. I mean, does anyone really believe Neale exists? My theory is that he's a 486 in someone's basement in Phoenix.
posted by zempf at 3:26 PM on April 25, 2001


Weird, Dave, cC's site comes up okay for me.

I love the random brain-dumping here. I think I'll follow suit.

So last night, my girlfriend and I decide to just hang out and chill. We scan cable and PPV, and it's just desolate. Acres and acres of crap (and I slept through the Ms/Yankees game, dammit). But we really felt like watching a movie (but not like actually leaving the apartment), so we picked one. "What the hell," we said.

"Let's watch Book of Shadows."

You know, the Blair Witch sequel. Yes, we had appropriately low expectations. Just not low enough.

Standard slasher movie horseshit: sassy 'n sexy Goth girl, sassy 'n sexy Wicca girl, and some other losers that the writers threw together after running out of steam thinking up the hot chicks. From there on out, it's strictly, to use Joe Bob Briggs' phrase, another Spam-in-a-can movie.

So. Fucking. Dumb.

And here's an interesting statistic!

Number of times the phrase, object or concept of a "Book of Shadows" is seen, referred to, or enters the plot in any way in the movie "Book of Shadows": 0

On the other hand, my girlfriend made me a simply spectacular pot roast.
posted by Skot at 3:27 PM on April 25, 2001


Acres and acres of crap (and I slept through the Ms/Yankees game, dammit).

You're not a Yankees fan, are you, Skot? I don't know that I can participate in this thread if there are Yankees fans reading. Those darn Yankees fans are everywhere! Stupid Yankees fans.

(Note to self: overuse of EM tag is irritating, but doesn't approach FONT COLOR in irritation factor; call it a demiblink.)
posted by snarkout at 3:46 PM on April 25, 2001


Death to the Yankees. Take them out with an open-faced lawnmower a la "Dead/Alive."
posted by Skot at 3:50 PM on April 25, 2001


Freaking A', that's a big long random list of articles.

I'm listening to NPR and have just heard that 50% of Americans support nuclear (or as we said back in Texas, "neuculer") power.

I bought a refurbished Compaq laptop with a DVD drive about nine months ago, and despite the long, drawn-out battles with their techs to get the computer to actually work (I sent this thing back so often that literally everything except for the screen and the shell have been replaced with brand new parts, including two motherboards), I am very pleased. I don't think that I'll ever go back to having a desktop.

The only quibble that I have is that the battery will only let you play a DVD for about half an hour, so that's probably why folks go for the portable DVD players.

About eight years ago I was in London for a semester of school, and remember those brilliant Creature Comfort commercials. Later, back on this side of the pond (heh, I just called the Atlantic Ocean "the pond"; please do not pummel me), I saw the Wallace and Gromit series. This relates to what I said earlier since my first DVD purchase was Chicken Run. Park and Lord are freaking geniuses.

Well, I gotta go now; my love and I are going to see some modern dance. I don't know anything about dance, but Julie absolutely loves it, and she humors my baseball needs (DIE YANKEES DIE; UK readers, I feel the same way about Man United). I'll let you know how it was.

Cheers.
posted by Avogadro at 3:55 PM on April 25, 2001


Dave are you using NS 4.x? If you are, cCranium smells what you are cooking, and will not let your sissy non-CSS compliant butt through the virtual door. He won't let me in either. Rob literally forces me to boot up Explorer, and while I hate to use Microsoft products, I find myself doing it.

I have been meaning to rent Book of Shadows, but I was so badly burned by Warlock 3 that I am unwilling to give panned horror much leeway these days.

Hurray for spectacular pot roast!

Where has Sean been lately?

"Apu fucking Apu" That is a neat trick if you can manage it.

I just counted, this is the 1000th post, sorry losers, I took the cake.

Why can't I spell? I am not exactly stupid, but I cannot master grammar or spelling. It really wierds me out.

Neale is posting less, have we driven him away?
posted by thirteen at 3:56 PM on April 25, 2001


Dave's Recommended Art Music for Anyone #2:

Music for 18 Musicians by Steve Reich

"Minimalism" isn't a term that composers of contemporary art music like very much. Either they're labelled as minimalists and they resent the inherent boxing-in such a label implies, or they're most-assuredly-not-minimalists and they hate the concept. Whatever you feel about so-called minimalist music, Steve Reich's Music for 18 Musicians is a shining example of the validity of "minimalist" composition, and at the same time it is a beautiful piece of art in its own right.

Minimalist composition tosses out the ideas of the serialists of the early 20th century and returns to tonality while relying on rhythm and subtle changes in chords and texture to provide musical interest. Philip Glass is one of the most well-known minimalist composers, and his style has remained more constant through the years than other "minimalists" including Reich and John Adams. But Reich's early work (including Music, composed in 1974) is a good example of a strict minimalist style that is quite different from Glass's.

A notoriously difficult piece to perform well, Music is a densely layered study in rhythm and tonality. Besides three clarinets, a cello, a violin, and two female voices, all of the parts are played on various mallet instruments and piano. Reich's (early-)characteristic use of phasing to achieve tension and resolution is novel but not disconcerting.

As parts fade in and out, layered more and more deeply, tension builds. Then bursting through the well-laid texture of sound come the rich, ringing tones of the metallophone (essentially a vibraphone without the "vibe") to lead the piece from one section to the next. The metallophone provides a touch of melody along with its transitional purpose, but it also provides some of the most powerful moments of the piece building into each successive section.

All told, the piece is split into 14 "movements" but they all blend together into one solid hour-long work. Because of its length, Music may be difficult to just sit and listen to, but the exercise will be well worth the effort. However, the piece may also serve as good background music as the volume doesn't vary as much as much art music can.

As with any art music, Music improves upon each listen, and it is well worth your time to listen to the full work some five or six times before you dismiss it as "boring." Much of the value in this piece--and in minimalist works generally--comes from the time spent building tension and developing themes. Be sure not to dismiss it too soon. You'll be missing out on something great.
posted by daveadams at 3:59 PM on April 25, 2001


Yeah, I think $1600 is a bit steep for a DVD-only device, though as a Mac user I could certainly not get a new laptop for that money. What I really want is one of these. This desire is somewhat ridiculous as I already have one of these, but hey, covetousness knows no restraint.

The Criterion Collection DVDs tend to be more in the £20 range, actually (£20 ~ $32, yes?) but they are so beautifully put together that I think the cost is well worth it. Miramax irks me in any number of ways, so it surprises me not at all to find that their DVD-production habits are irritating as well.

You know, 1142 really is like my favorite sort of open-topic mailing list (as Dave pointed out, except without the "redfox's favorite" bit). I wonder what it says about me that I feel infinitely more comfortable chatting away here than in Mefi threads in general? I already wondered why I was more interested in participating in MetaTalk than in MeFi proper, but this is really an interesting little wrinkle. I suspect I'm just a misfit.
posted by redfoxtail at 4:01 PM on April 25, 2001


back on this side of the pond

<pummel target="Avogadro" />
posted by daveadams at 4:03 PM on April 25, 2001


Dave are you using NS 4.x?

No, for the love of God, NO!!!!
posted by daveadams at 4:04 PM on April 25, 2001


I just counted, this is the 1000th post, sorry losers, I took the cake.

Thirteen, the game isn't to be the 1000th poster, rather the game is to guess when that will occur. Since I'm the only one who listed an exact time, I suppose I win the pool. I was thinking about taking the winner out to a yummy dinner of some spectacular Springfield-style Chinese food. The fact that I won just makes it easier.
posted by daveadams at 4:07 PM on April 25, 2001


Has anyone visited 1141? One post. One solitary post. Perhaps we should be using it as the 1142 chill out room.

Freaking A', that's a big long random list of articles.

You like me! You really like me!
posted by feelinglistless at 4:12 PM on April 25, 2001


That's the beauty of sports. Skot might think Kazu Sasaki is the best relief pitcher since Rollie Fingers, I might think Jason Giambi is the Barry Bonds of the 21st Century, but we can unite in our hatred of the Yankees. To quote John Sayles, "It's always heartwarming to see a prejudice defeated by a deeper prejudice."
posted by snarkout at 4:13 PM on April 25, 2001


I haven't visited 1141, but I remember 1042 fondly. Ah foop, where are thou?

I read *every* post, goddamnit.

RE: Statistics. I would love to see a set of mindnumblingly useless statistics based upon this thread, but unfortunately, I don't have the time. The geek in me is drooling though.

I confess I hardly read metafilter anymore, but go straight to metatalk.

The 1000th post will happen in May. May 21st.
posted by Neale at 5:59 PM on April 25, 2001


Eww, drooling geek!
posted by redfoxtail at 8:17 PM on April 25, 2001


Freaking A', that's a big long...list of articles.

"a, an, the, le, la, l', les, un, une, der, die, das, eine, ein... n-2, n-1, n"

Hey, you know, there's more than one kind of drooling geek.
posted by redfoxtail at 8:50 PM on April 25, 2001


I wonder how many other threads have been picked up waaaaaay later. I found one yesterday that irritated me so bad I had to add something else. Things in general have been bugging me around here. And I haven't even been able to keep up, really.
posted by norm at 9:24 PM on April 25, 2001


I see dead people.
posted by sudama at 11:56 PM on April 25, 2001


You're just adding to everyone's horrible confusion about the number of new comments listed on the front page, Norm. Tsk. Of course, thanks to our antics right here in 1142, all hope that the front page count would seem sane ever again has flown right out the window anyway, so carry on, carry on.
posted by redfoxtail at 6:44 AM on April 26, 2001


Ow!... quit it.

Can I change my prediction (asssuming that I made one in the first place)? May 14th, 5:30p MST

I love libertarianism, and by extension, libertarians. This doesn't of course mean that I particularly agree with the former or the latter.

Am I the only one who has a deep loathing of Chicago (the city and the group)? Brad, as a St. Louisian, would you agree with me? 13, you sir are not one of the loathed; in fact, given your longing for an island upon which you could raise honeybees, I think that you'd agree as well. Much of this came from my freshman year living with two obnoxious folks from the South Side, when I produced the sentiment that Chicago would be a great place if it weren't for Chicagoans. Age has of course moderated these views.

Dave, I don't get the metallophone; what good is a vibrophone without the good vibes?

The program last night was excellent. Being a dance neophyte, I haven't much to say except that I wish I could move like a dancer. Oh, and it was pretty damn funny (purposefully so).

I don't know if anyone is still reading the carbonated beverage thread, but we have done a taste test of Coke with and without corn syrup; the results will astound you (not really).
posted by Avogadro at 6:44 AM on April 26, 2001


If you are, cCranium smells what you are cooking, and will not let your sissy non-CSS compliant butt through the virtual door. He won't let me in either. Rob literally forces me to boot up Explorer, and while I hate to use Microsoft products, I find myself doing it.

Wait! No I don't! Well, it's not supposed to that is. What's supposed to happen is that you get a plain text version of the site with none of that fancy yellow I've plastered all over it.

I tested it in NN 4.x and it worked, dammit! It worked! I just loaded it in 4.03 and it's.. uhh... taking a really long time. Sonofabitch.

I'm flattered that anyone would take the time to load up their non-normal browser just to hit my site though, thanks thirteen!

Still loading. Something is going to have to be done about that. I tested it. I tested it!

Sonofabitch.

I already wondered why I was more interested in participating in MetaTalk than in MeFi proper, but this is really an interesting little wrinkle. I suspect I'm just a misfit.

Nah, I don't figure you are. It's casual, laid back here. I mean, MetaFilter proper, with a few thousand people reading what you're writing, and all this media blitz and stuff, it's sometimes hard to just type shit and not worry about looking like a fool.

There's plenty of times that I delete a ramble or a rant or a generally inane comment because, well, it's just not what you do there.

Here? No one cares about here. Matt lets us play here because we aren't breaking anything, we're not stepping on any toes, and we're not hurting anything. Either that or he keeps forgetting about the thread, which I'm reasonably certain isn't the case. :-)

Still trying to load the page in NN. This is bad. This is _very bad_.

AHA! Stupid fucking netscape 4.x can't load "index.asp".

Oh shit. I should make a default.asp to redirect to index.asp. Index.asp. Way to go, numbnuts, use a nonstandard default page and expect magic.

sigh.

That'll be repaired shortly, but in the meantime thirteen, hit rmd.cx/index.asp to see the site in all it's Times New Roman glory.

Oh no, wait. That doesn't work either. Now my day is ruined! RUINED!

norm: I sympathize.
posted by cCranium at 6:58 AM on April 26, 2001


[Avogadro] Dave, I don't get the metallophone; what good is a vibrophone without the good vibes?

Well.... you still get the fantastic clear, ringing tone, just without the mechanized vibrato. Vibrato is great for some purposes, but it really wouldn't fit in with Music for 18 Musicians, I don't think. And Steve Reich agrees with me, and I suppose he would know best. :)
posted by daveadams at 7:17 AM on April 26, 2001


cC, I can get to your site again today. Must have just been temporary net routing problems. Not a surprise, really.
posted by daveadams at 7:17 AM on April 26, 2001


Hey cC--or anyone else who'll admit to having Microsoft development experience--know anything about using ATL in Visual C++ to create COM objects for Transaction Server? Or really I suppose the MTS part doesn't really matter. Essentially, I'm having trouble returning a result of type BOOL. It always comes back as False to my VBScript test, even when I set it to TRUE explicitly. I dunno if my IDL is messed up or if I just have no clue what's going on or what...

Or is this just too obscure?
posted by daveadams at 7:23 AM on April 26, 2001


Avogadro, a big key to the metallophone/vibraphone sound that I neglected to mention is the sustain. Marimba, xylophone, and bells just can't come close. That sound will just keep going and going and going and going...

So if you want a bright, clear, bell-like sound with lots of sustain and no vibrato, metallophone is your instrument of choice!
posted by daveadams at 7:26 AM on April 26, 2001


we have done a taste test of Coke with and without corn syrup

Who is "we"?

the results will astound you

In what way???? I'm so curious!!!
posted by daveadams at 7:28 AM on April 26, 2001


Dammit Dave, go to the thread!

(Promises of astonishment are in no way, shape, or form based upon reality. Management reserves the right to change the questions and contestants at any time. No shirt, no shoes, no service.)
posted by Avogadro at 7:57 AM on April 26, 2001


As my dad would say:

Well, excyyyyyyyyyoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooose me!
posted by daveadams at 8:42 AM on April 26, 2001


Okay, so my dad doesn't quite draw it out that long, but he does say it in a silly voice like that sometimes.

In particular, I can think of one time (I wasn't there, but I've heard all about it, of course) when a disgruntled student at the community college my dad worked for came bursting into the administration building toting a gun. He rounded up everyone out in the common area, but my dad happened to be back in the computer room area and wasn't rounded up. Nor did he know what was going on. Anyway, at one point, my dad opened the door from they computer room to the room where the gunman had all his hostages and the gunman twirled around and pointed the gun at dad. Being the quick thinker he is, Dad said, "Oh, excuse me," and quickly shut the door and left the back way.

A few people did end up getting killed that day, so my dad was really, really lucky. I wonder if the shooter played too much Doom. Oh wait, no, it hadn't been invented yet.
posted by daveadams at 8:47 AM on April 26, 2001


What?!?!
posted by Avogadro at 9:08 AM on April 26, 2001


dave, if you want to shoot me an email at work I may be able to help you a smidge more, but it's reasonably unlikely. I haven't touched vc++ in over a year now, and suprisingly enough, I don't miss it one iota.

And, actually, when I was writing VC++ stuff, I never used ATL. And it wasn't really C++ code anyway, it was C with with occasional object tossed in for extra-special confusion.

Oh, it was baa-aa-aad.
posted by cCranium at 9:10 AM on April 26, 2001


What?!?!

What?
posted by daveadams at 9:19 AM on April 26, 2001


What?

That.
posted by Avogadro at 9:53 AM on April 26, 2001


That.

What about it?
posted by daveadams at 10:17 AM on April 26, 2001


Can't you guys see I'm trying to sleep over here!?!
posted by thirteen at 10:36 AM on April 26, 2001


Sorry thirteen, my bad.





<whisper>That's a pretty wild story, is it true?</whisper>
posted by Avogadro at 11:05 AM on April 26, 2001


Avogadro: it's absolutely true. If I were back in my hometown, I'd be able to dig up the relevant newspaper articles. Somehow I doubt they're online. [Update: no, they aren't... the Hot Springs paper has archives back to 1996, but this happened in the 80s.] Actually, my parents may still have the newspaper articles.

Although, I bet the SMSU library has Arkansas papers from that far back... I should check them out.
posted by daveadams at 11:20 AM on April 26, 2001


Oh man! I just lost a huge post with all sorts of questions about WWII that I was hoping one of you might be able to answer.

I followed up with an opinion that the death penalty is a deterant, insofar as I did not murder a bunch of kids I saw torturing some moss last night. I actually thought, "Don't do it, you will be put to death if you do"
posted by thirteen at 12:54 PM on April 26, 2001


How does one torture moss? (If it's Carrie-Anne Moss, the answer is "Cast her as the love interest of Keanu Reeves." HAW! HAW! Oh, just kill me.)

I'm either lucky or boring. I don't know anyone who has killed, been killed, or been tormented in some Doom-like way.

Great story, Dave.
posted by Skot at 3:45 PM on April 26, 2001


Dave, man, that freaks me out. How on the edge of death are we all?
posted by Neale at 4:43 PM on April 26, 2001


I haven't been here for a while . . .

Freaking A', that's a big long...list of articles.

"a, an, the, le, la, l', les, un, une, der, die, das, eine, ein... n-2, n-1, n"

Hey, you know, there's more than one kind of drooling geek.


*Blink*
[redfoxtail] whatever dost thou mean?

Since for me, its 1:30 in the morning I don't have much time for anything earthshattering (yeah!), and since I'm getting the feeling (listless feeling?) that anything goes at 1142 (CD reviews?), I want to be the first to publish actual theatre drama at Mefi. I wrote a few years ago and some of it still holds up. Enjoy (I think).

It's called . . .

SQUARE PEG. ROUND HOLE.

Bare stage. From stage left, a man appears in a dressing gown. Her looks around the stage, then simply stands there nervously. This is Mitch Clarke. From stage right, a second man appears; slightly older in another dressing gown towelling this time. This is Alex Richards.

He yawns.

ALEX: What time is it?

MITCH: (slightly uneasy) About half three.

ALEX: Fuck me.

Mitch smiles nervously.

A girl in purple jeans and a tie die blouse strays on from stage left. This is Clara Miller.

ALEX: You're dressed.

CLARA: I stayed up. I saw it coming.

ALEX: Of course you did.

Mitch sneezes. He gets out a handkerchief, his eyes streaming.

CLARA: Are you all right, Mitch?

MITCH: Allergies.

Alex, Mitch and Clara turn and look as three more people stray on, Michael Mitchell, Shelley Lawrence and David Gerard. All are fully clothed as well. Michael and David are carrying hands of cards. Alex hits the palm of his hand against his forehead. Mitch sneezes. Clara smiles. Michael and David are bickering with each other forcibly but Soto Voce; Shelley wears the look of a tolerant mother.

ALEX: You’re dressed as well.

SHELLEY: Late night Poker.

Above the general hum of an argument we hear . . .

MICHAEL: My two Kings beat your pair of Aces.

DAVID: This is Poker not Pontoon. Aces are essentially eleven. Higher than a king which are essentially ten. (he turns to Shelley) Whose idea was it to teach him Poker?

SHELLEY: Yours.

DAVID: We should have stuck with Chess. We were making progress with Chess.

Clara smiles.

CLARA: I like Chess.

DAVID: Clara? I mean, hello Clara.

CLARA: Hi David. You look tired.

DAVID: I feel tired (gives a not very convincing fake yawn).

Michael smiles at Shelley knowingly.

All turn again, as Carol Henrik and Fiona Smith appear. Carol is in her dressing gown and Fiona seems to be wearing nothing but a long T-shirt. Alex is obviously impressed. Mitch sneezes. Clara smiles at them. Shelley is trying to help Michael work out his Poker hand. He is moving the cards around his hand. David is smiling at Clara.

ALEX: Finally someone in a dressing gown.

CAROL: (German accent) Of all people.

ALEX: I didn’t mean anything.

FIONA: Of course you didn’t.

Everyone turns and stops what they are doing as Pete Armstrong and Sarah Leopold appear from stage left. Pete is dressed in a jumper and jeans and carrying a clipboard. Sarah is in a nightie.

FIONA: You choose a cold night to visit our dead planet.

Sarah goes to reply, but Pete cuts in.

PETE: Stop complaining. It’s not that cold.

Both Sarah and Fiona glare at him.

PETE: Let’s get down to it. I think we all know what to do by now. I call your name you tell me what you’ve been up to. Anyone want to own up to anything?

Everyone stands silent.

PETE: I was afraid of that.

SARAH: Just hold on a sec. Where is everyone?

PETE: They’ve all gone home for the weekend.

SARAH: Everyone?

PETE: ‘Cept the French group. Party.

ALEX: Party? And I wasn’t invited?

CLARA: You’re a xenophobe. You hate the French.

ALEX: I know. But – party?

SARAH: Why aren’t you there, Carol?

CAROL: Long story. Tell you later.

Fiona smiles knowingly. Everyone turns to look at her. Intimidated she stops and forces seriousness.

PETE: (sighing) Let's start. Randomly for a change. Alex Richards.

ALEX: Sleeping. Missing a party.

PETE: Mitch Clarke.

Mitch sneezes.

MITCH: Sorry.

PETE: That’s all right. What have you been doing.

MITCH: Insomnia. Listening to the radio.

PETE: Ok. Clara?

CLARA: I was trying a new meditation technique.

DAVID: What was that?

CLARA: Sleeping alone.

PETE: So it didn’t involve pushing things around like last time?

CLARA: No. No telekinesis. I got banned remember?

PETE: Just checking. Erm . . . Michael, David and Shelley.

MICHAEL: Being cheated in Poker.

DAVID: Winning at Poker.

SHELLEY: Beginning to hate the idea of poker.

PETE: Carol?

CAROL: I’m taking the Fifth Amendment.

PETE: This is Britain. We don’t have a Fifth Amendment.

CAROL: Well you should have.

PETE: What were you doing.

CAROL: I whisper.

Pete steps forward.

CAROL: Sarah.

Pete steps back. Carol approaches Sarah and whispers in her ear. Sarah gives the same knowing smile as Fiona did. Pete stares at her.

SARAH: She didn’t do it.

Mitch sneezes.

PETE: Whose left. Fiona?

FIONA: Err . . . I was sleeping.

PETE: Oh god. Is there any one we haven’t accounted for.

No one says anything. Mitch shrugs nervously.

PETE: Look. Some one has to own up to this. The fire engines will be here in (he looks at his watch) four minutes. If no one says ‘yes its me’ in the next three minutes fifty five seconds we all lose what’s left of our deposits. If someone owns up. They’ll get the warning and we all go back to bed. Three minutes 45.

ALEX: Can’t someone just own up even if they didn’t do it? Mitch?

Mitch sneezes.

CLARA: Stop picking on Mitch. Why don’t you do it?

ALEX: I’ve already got a warning. The glass door?
I get another one and I’m out.

CLARA: And that would be tragedy.

Pete cuts in.

PETE: No one is going to own up to something they didn’t do. This isn’t school. It doesn’t work that way.

SARAH: I know it’s tricky. But - one of you has to have done it.

FIONA: It could be a fault. You know in the system.

DAVID: That’s possible. It’s quite an old system. There might have been a pulse or something.

MICHAEL: Very scientific.

PETE: Nice idea, but no. They installed a new system last week with all kinds of safe guards. I just never got round to telling everyone.

ALEX: Hold on. How do we know it wasn’t you? You’re dressed.

PETE: I was doing course work when I heard the alarm.

ALEX: Course work? At half three in the morning?

SARAH: It’s his way.

ALEX: And what about you?

SARAH: I was dreaming thank you very much. Who appointed you Inspector Morse?

ALEX: Just making sure.

PETE: (urgently) Three minutes. Come on people. Explanations.

Mitch sneezes.

ALEX: Will you shush. You’re driving me up the wall.

CLARA: Will you leave him alone.

ALEX: And what are you going to do Miss ‘oh I can’t get a decent shag since everyone realised I was a wierdo.’ We didn’t exactly get a satisfactory explanation from you.

CLARA: I told you. I was meditating.

ALEX: Why couldn’t I get into Dickens Hall with me mates. Why did I end up here with the cast of ‘Friends’ crossed with fucking ‘Woodstock’. Shit.

MICHAEL: Calm down hot head. What is wrong with you tonight?

ALEX: I’m nervous. We’ve got an exam tomorrow.

CAROL: Its true. In Running.

MICHAEL: Running?

ALEX: (shrugging) It’s the stride patterns.

MICHAEL: Stride patterns?

CAROL: I know. (she turns to Alex) What are you worried about? Tripping?

ALEX: Why did you tell them?

CAROL: You started it.

PETE: (sighing) Two minutes thirty.

Mitch sneezes.

ALEX: So what have you been doing.

CAROL: It’s none of your business.

ALEX: It is if it means we all get fined.

CAROL: Its private!

ALEX: So private that we’re all standing here?

CAROL: It’s not my fault!

ALEX: THEN WHAT WERE YOU DOING?

CAROL: I WAS MASTURBATING ALRIGHT!

ALEX: What?

CAROL: I WAS THINKING OF CLARA HERE.

ALEX: Your. You’re a . . .hhhrr . . .

CAROL: Not completely.

CLARA: (to Alex) Where the hell have you been?

ALEX: YOU ALL KNOW?

There is dead silence. A pin drops. Everyone, especially Alex is faintly embarrassed. Everyone but Clara is smiling. Mitch sneezes.

MICHAEL: I didn’t.

Shelley hits him playfully.

MICHAEL: I never know.

CLARA: (to Carol) You fancy me?

Carol shrugs and throws her hands open.

CLARA: I mean it explains a lot. I have been off men lately . . .

David looks a bit hurt.

CLARA: . . . I suppose if . . .

She looks around and realises that there are about ten people listening.

CLARA: (to Carol) . . . we’ll talk tomorrow.

ALEX: Look, Carol. I’m sorry. To the depths of my heart I’m sorry.

FIONA: So you should be. And yes, before anyone asks I did knock at the wrong moment. When she was . . .

PETE: (resignedly) Two minutes to go. Bye-bye house deposit.

DAVID: Perhaps at this moment I should bring to everyone’s attention what Sherlock Homles said.

MICHAEL: Oh no.

DAVID: I’m paraphrasing . . . erm . . . when all evidence has been rejected, anything which remains, however improbable, must be the truth. I think that’s it.

SARAH: And that means?

DAVID: I know who did it.

PETE: What?!?

DAVID: I’ve actually known since we got down here.

FIONA: Then why didn’t you tell us?

DAVID: I liked watching you all trying to work it out. I’m a student of human nature.

MICHAEL: I thought you were a student of Electrical Engineering.

PETE: Were straying from the point. One minute.

ALEX: Wouldn’t the hall have burnt down by now?

DAVID: Whose missing?

PETE: No one.

DAVID: None of the students no.

PETE: So who else is there?

SARAH: (realising) Liam.

DAVID: (agreeing) Liam.

PETE: The Hall Master?

DAVID: Who else has access to fire alarms which can be set off accidentally. Who is probably too embarrassed to come down here?

ALEX: You mean he’d let us all lose our deposits so that he could save face.

DAVID: It’s not that simple. Is it Fiona?

All eyes turn to Fiona.

FIONA: What.

DAVID: Tell them. We have thirty seconds.

FIONA: I can’t say anything.

SARAH: FIONA!

FIONA: It was me! It was me.

DAVID: Thank you.

Mitch sneezes.

SARAH: How was it you.

DAVID: I flicked the button when I sat on it.

CLARA: Sat on it?

DAVID: I noticed Fiona slipping into Liam’s room earlier.

Everyone is looking at Fiona now.

FIONA: Sorry.

ALEX: You. And Liam?!?

FIONA: He’s nice if you get to know him. Ask Clara.

CLARA: FIONA!

ALEX: Is there anyone else?

Carol raises her hand slightly.

ALEX: I’m tired. I’m going back to bed.

Alex goes to walk off stage.

SHELLEY: Since no one else has mentioned it. Where are the fire engines?

Everyone looks around.

PETE: There aren’t any.

Everyone looks at Pete.

PETE: (swallowing) That’s why we were late down. I knew it was a fault and rang the station to cancel. They aren’t coming.

SHELLEY: So the last five minutes didn’t mean anything?

PETE: I had to go through the motions. It’s my job.

Michael boughs his head.

ALEX: Well fuck you all and good night.

Alex leaves the stage. A nervous silence pervades the group.

SHELLEY: So is Liam going to be putting in an appearance?

FIONA: He wouldn’t come out. He cut himself on a vase he knocked off the desk in shock when the alarm went off. I’d better going and check on him. Sorry. Sorry Carol.

Carol shrugs.

CAROL: I’m going back up to. I’ve still got to clean up after myself.

There are a few reactions to this, but everyone seems to accept it as an aspect of the evening, and Shelley and Fiona leave.

CLARA: Mitch. You’ve stopped sneezing.

Mitch smiles.

MITCH: I’m calmer.

CLARA: You sneeze when you’re nervous.

MITCH: I hate confrontations.

CLARA: Oh that’s so sweet.

Clara gestures off the stage and she leaves with Mitch. David shoots a worried glance after them.

SHELLEY: I’m sure it doesn’t mean anything. She’s just being nice.

DAVID: Hmmm.

MICHAEL: I’m going up and collecting my pennies.

DAVID: Your pennies?

Shelley shakes her head in disbelief, as she David and Michael leave the stage. Pete yawns.

PETE: Thank god for that.

SARAH: What?

PETE: No one asked us what we were doing . . .

Sarah approaches him, spin him around and after kissing him on the forehead, they embrace.

THE END
posted by feelinglistless at 5:35 PM on April 26, 2001 [1 favorite]


Maybe I should have checked it for typing errors. Oh well, too late now . . .
posted by feelinglistless at 5:39 PM on April 26, 2001


[redfoxtail] whatever dost thou mean?

"Article" is the name of a part of speech, like "noun" or "verb". From The Concise Oxford Dictionary of Linguistics: "A determiner whose basic role is to mark noun phrases as either definite or indefinite: e.g. definite the in the girl, indefinite a in a girl."
posted by redfoxtail at 7:05 PM on April 26, 2001


This is what I made for my Christmas dinner.

I feel bad I caused Rob such distress.

I don't read Riothero anymore.

She does not update anymore, but I love reading her.
posted by thirteen at 7:24 PM on April 26, 2001


Ah, poker (see play by feelinglistless). Just tonight, I lost quite a number of pennies playing poker. Goodbye, pennies, I hardly knew ye.

Most interesting thing I learned this week: How much fun (and how easy) it is to impress the undergraduates one is teaching by saying "piss" in lecture.
posted by redfoxtail at 8:24 PM on April 26, 2001


While we're suggesting blogs, do any of you read Illusions of Grandeur (sic)? It's a personal journal/blog that periodically includes pretty graphic details. I don't think I'd ever document any of the events she does, but hey.
posted by norm at 10:41 PM on April 26, 2001


I am going to try to recreate my earlier post. Please excuse my instinct to think of
all of you as my fellow Americans, as I lapse into "we" when it probably should be
"the US"

My main question being, What was Japan's motivation from bringing the US into
W.W.II? I know a couple of factoids, and have a few theories but I cannot remember
ever going very far into the Pacific war in school. It always seemed to be enough to
say the US was in the war because the Japanese attacked. No one ever went into
why they might have done so.

1. I know American pilots were flying American planes painted with Chinese colors,
so we were already fighting a secret war against Japan.

2. I am suspecting it might have something to do with the forced opening of
Japanese ports those many years before, but I don't know.

3. Did it have anything to do with Japan's becoming industrialized, but not having
much in the way of raw materials? Did the US impede this in anyway, were we
competing for colonies?

4. Were the Japanese just keeping a bargain with their allies to keep the US from
being too helpful to Europe?

5. If that is the case, (Here is where the change up kicks in) Why did Hitler leap at
the chance to declare war on the US after the attack? To divide our forces? Or to
legally sink our ships?

There was more, but I cannot remember it now. Anybody have any answers? I am
going to post this on Rob's list too, as I think SDB might be my best hope for an
answer. Please forgive me.

I know the Japanese were particularly brutal, and that Lia might have relatives who
were involved in that theater during the war, so I hope I have not made it seem like I
am trying to excuse Japan's actions. I am really surprised that everything I have
been taught has been so one sided. With Germany there is plenty of talk about the
events that lead up to what came to pass.
posted by thirteen at 11:18 PM on April 26, 2001


Kore wa juichi-shiju-ni desu ka?

Hai, juichi-shiju-ni desu.

My website has been getting greater than goju hits per day all week long. I though it was coming from here, but they are entering through random archives. I'm not sure, but I figure 50 hits has to make my site one of the most popular places on the internet. Where is my webby?

I don't know how to use irc, this embarrasses me. I have aim loaded, but have no gumption to search people out. I may have forgotten my password even. Eek, that NEVER happens to me.

It is 1:47 am (asa ichi-ji shiju nana-fun) I am going to take the dogs for a walk.
posted by thirteen at 11:56 PM on April 26, 2001


feelinglistless: do you type everything into the little comment box? I do, and then I copy the text into a word processor if I feel that it needs spell checking. Why is that?

A poker story: When I was in high school, I spent a bit of a summer camping in central Alberta. Well, not camping really, because I was staying in a cabin, which really takes the edge off roughing it. Some friends of mine were playing poker one night, and they invited me to join them.

I did not know how to play poker.

Somebody wrote down which bunches of card were better than which other bunches of cards. No one had any pennies, so it was decided that we would use sunflower seeds as counters (or chips or whatever they are called).

Sometime around 2:00 a.m., I got whatever bunch of cards was at the top of the list (I still cannot play poker. But I have a great poker face. It involves grinning with glee and acting nervous no matter what I'm dealt). I won a huge number of sunflower seeds. I cleaned everybody out. They had to open another bag of sunflower seeds (inflation was a huge problem in those days). A few rounds later, we went to sleep.

The next day we went canoeing.

That evening, the other guys decided that we should play poker again. So I went to get the huge stash of sunflower seeds that I had placed on a shelf the previous night. The walls of the cabin were rounded - they sloped up and in to the peak of the roof. I had placed the sunflower seeds on a shelf jutting out from the wall.

The mouse had these amazing little black eyes, and a terrible poker face.
posted by iceberg273 at 5:10 AM on April 27, 2001


You asked for it, Thirteen.

Then as now, Japan's industry wasn't sustainable with local resources. Then as now, Japan depended primarily on imports of raw materials, and there were important ones where the Japanese didn't control their sources of supply. The seeds of the conflict between Japan and the US stretch back a long way; in most accounts it begins with the visit by Commodore Perry in 1853.

Leaving out a lot of context, what you end up with by the 1920's is a government in Japan where the Army is aggressive and imperialistic and essentially in control. You also have an army where mid-level officers have far more influence than they really ought to. Japan already controls Korea by this point and is looking fondly at Manchuria, and some officers in that area manufacture an incident and go into full scale attack without permission of the civilian head of government. Before they know what is happening, the army has already invaded large parts of Manchuria and is moving forward. (Many historians actually date the beginning of WWII to this incident in 1931, instead of the more usual dating based on the invasion of Poland.)

This eventually lead to war with China. Now China then was an ally of the US, and though Roosevelt's military situation was weak his economic and diplomatic power was considerable. There were threats and counter threats, and the US started imposing trade sanctions against Japan.

The final straw was imposition by the US, UK and in particular the Dutch of an embargo on petroleum and scrap steel sales to Japan. This threatened to stop Japanese industry and also to immobilize Japan's fleet.

They had enough petroleum stockpiled for perhaps 18 months of operation and after that they would be stuck. They needed the Indonesian oil fields (the best source in that part of the world, at that time under Dutch control).

So here's the decision that Japan was facing. It had, in 90 years, moved from being a backwater which had been shamed by a handful of American steamships in 1853 to a fully modern industrialized country with a formidable navy, something no other third world nation had done in that time. It could back down, apologize, stop the war in China, and slink back home with its tail between its legs. Or it could shove all its chips into the center of the table and attack.

Retreat was impossible. If such an order had been sent to China it would have been ignored, and the likelihood is that leaders giving such orders would have been assassinated. (In the 1920's, Japan's government was known elsewhere as "government by assassination"; it was preposterously common for mid-level army officers to order the deaths of politicians they didn't like.)

There were cultural issues here, too; the Japanese had abolished the caste system but still believed that their men couldn't be defeated. They also believed that the US was soft, effete, bourgeois, and had no real stomach for war.

On the side of the balance favoring attack was the fact that the Japanese naval Air Force was the best in the world at that time (though no-one outside Japan knew it). The US is weak "as we all know" and won't be willing to take a lot of losses "as we all know" and if Japan could take a lot of territory fast and then reinforce it, the US would decide it wasn't worth the price to take it back. And "as we all know" the US would lose as many men in the fight as Japan would. So the US would bargain rather than fight "as we all know".

At Gettysburg Colonel Chamberlain defended Little Round Top and was faced at one point with either retreating or attacking -- and since the consequences of retreat (loss of the entire battle) were intolerable, he ordered an attack. It was a brilliant (and desperate) move and succeeded beyond his wildest hopes. Many consider that the single critical battlefield decision of the entire battle (and indeed of the entire war since that was the turning point).

The Japanese made the same decision. They did, I think, understand that it was risky but considered the risk acceptable given the intolerable consequences of not attacking. What they didn't perhaps understand is the degree of fury that a sneak attack on Pearl Harbor would raise in the US. And some leaders in Japan (particularly Admiral Yamamoto) understood the industrial capacity of the US but none really understood the degree to which it would be trained on Japan, like a cannon aimed at a flea. Ultimately the war in the Pacific wasn't US soldiers against Japanese soldiers, or US ships against Japanese ships, but rather US industry against Japanese industry -- and that wasn't a contest. Within two years, from scratch, the US already had created a more powerful fleet and a more powerful airforce in the Pacific than the Japanese had managed to create in the pre-war years. And it only got worse from there. By 1945 the US fleet and air power in the Pacific was frankly incredible.

Another major mistake the Japanese made was to massively underestimate the importance of signal security. They believed that the Japanese language itself was sufficiently obscure and difficult that the Americans would never be able to understand their code transmissions. Again, they underestimated both the US and UK, and in the course of the war I'm not aware of a single Japanese cipher which resisted attack. On the other hand, the Japanese attempts to break into US code were total futility, and such efforts were always badly understaffed. By the end of the war, the US had at least a thousand times as many men involved in signal intelligence as did the Japanese, and this was a major contributor to the conduct of the war. Midway is the example most people know about, but it was in fact not the most important. Vastly more important was that the US was reading the ciphers used by the Japanese to control their merchant shipping, and using that information to control its submarines to attack said shipping. After 18 months of truly embarassing torpedo malfunctions, by mid 1943 the US submarine force began to leave a bloody swath through the Japanese merchant marine. The US succeeded in doing to Japan what the Germans failed to do to the UK: starve it out by submarine blockade.

The Flying Tigers never were an issue, by the way. The final straw which lead to war was the embargo on oil and scrap steel, which the Japanese took as an aggressive act. To this day you'll find Japanese who think that Japan really had no choice but to attack, and honestly think of Pearl Harbor as a defensive move forced on them by the US.

Also, there was never really an issue relating to obligations to Germany. That "alliance" was never really an alliance in the sense that the ones between the US, UK and USSR were, where each made sacrifices for the other and where they coordinated their efforts (such as the USSR's offensive launched in June 1944 to coincide with the Normandy invasion).

A demonstration of the fundamental unimportance of the Japanese/German alliance is that at the time of Pearl Harbor and for the rest of the war, Germany was locked in a death struggle with the USSR. Hitler hoped that the Japanese would attack the USSR in Siberia, draining away resources from the German front. Yet Japan never attacked the USSR, maintaining an uneasy truce at the border of Manchukuo and Siberia. (This was shattered in July 1945 when the USSR attacked.) This is because the Japanese had gotten their asses kicked by the USSR in 1939 in a brief war there. After Pearl Harbor, Germany (and then Italy) declared war on the US (much to the relief of both Churchill and Roosevelt, who wanted the US to fight Germany and had to figure out a way to convince the US public that an attack by Japan should result in a US war against Germany). A lot of people have wondered why Hitler did this; it turns out that he did so because he was hoping that Japan would in turn declare war on the USSR -- which never happened.
posted by Steven Den Beste at 6:05 AM on April 27, 2001 [1 favorite]


Does this mean I can join the A-list?
posted by Steven Den Beste at 6:06 AM on April 27, 2001


anything goes at 1142 (CD reviews?)

Well, FWIW, I'm trying to focus more on the particular works. That the first two works I chose happened to be long enough to occupy entire CDs was just a happy coincidence. I chose the CDs I did to link to because they are recordings I'm familiar with. In general the quality of various recordings of a particular work can vary quite a bit, so when I discuss the piece, it's helpful to give a reference that will relate to my description.

If you have any interest at all in contemporary art music, but you don't know where to start, I hope you'll try the works I've recommended because I think they're very accessible for a casual listener in addition to being great and important works in their own rights. If you're already a "classical" music fan, and you're familiar with my selections, I wonder what you think of my picks. I'm presenting DRAMA with the utmost sincerity, and I hope you'll take something with you after reading it.
posted by daveadams at 6:49 AM on April 27, 2001


Does this mean I can join the A-list?

Sorry Steven, but this is a strictly C-list thread.

That was a great summary, btw, I'm constantly impressed by your knowledge of military history.
posted by daveadams at 6:58 AM on April 27, 2001


I'm particularly fascinated by the Pacific war, and by Japan in general. By far the two best books I've found are this and this. The first one explains how the Japanese army (and government, because by 1930 they were the same thing) became what it was, and the second explains indirectly how the US defeated the Japanese through what amounted to an industrial war of attrition. If you really want to understand the roots of WWII and understand things like the Kamikazes and the Rape of Nanking, "Soldiers of the Sun" will make it all clear. (Note that understanding doesn't lead to forgiveness.)

C-list? Hell, I'm already C-list. Sheesh.
posted by Steven Den Beste at 7:37 AM on April 27, 2001


thirteen, you aren't causing me actual distress, just "Aw crap why didn't I check that and make sure it works, I'm such a fool" insecurities.

Nothing I'm unfamiliar with. :-)

Steven, wow, I think I just learned more about Japanese involvement in the war in the 5 or 10 minutes I spent digesting that then in my entire 10th grade history course. Thank you!
posted by cCranium at 8:05 AM on April 27, 2001


Steven, you are at the top of my A-list. Thanks for taking the time to write all that, I knew you were my best shot for getting an answer. I will be checking out that "Soldiers of the Sun" book very soon, thanks for the tip.

cC: I am glad you have not opened a vein over this slight hiccup.

Do any of you ever wonder if there are other eternal threads floating around? Metafilter gnomes discussing mathematics in 666, or a hidden troll room where Hal_55 and Rightwinger plot to disrupt the peaceful and everchanging world of "Metafilter current"? It is a large sever, there may be other intelligent life out there somewhere.

I am coining the word "Link'n log" for my web page, as it is more journal than blog, but there are a fair number of links. What do you think? I think it is catchy if you are old enough to get the reference, and hopefully I will be credited for it's mass usage in Wired one day.
posted by thirteen at 9:36 AM on April 27, 2001


Neat play, feelinglistless.

Obscure Hitchhiker's Guide references are always appreciated - which reminds me, did anyone catch Kindall's fun comment the other day?
posted by Aaaugh! at 9:53 AM on April 27, 2001


Does this mean I can join the A-list?

My impression was that at least some people in 1142-land were beyond lists, to the point of being list-less.

Sorry. :)
posted by iceberg273 at 10:50 AM on April 27, 2001


I am coining the word "Link'n log" for my web page

I'm pretty sure Wendell used that term a while back for the blog part in the last iteration of his One Swell Foop site. Actually, I believe it was "Linkin Log" but whatever.
posted by daveadams at 11:11 AM on April 27, 2001


C-list? Hell, I'm already C-list. Sheesh.

Yeah, but what's cool about this thread is that it's reserved only for C-listers such as ourselves. No A-Listers allowed! HUZZAH!!
posted by daveadams at 11:12 AM on April 27, 2001


re: Link'n Log

Lance (aka honkzilla has had Linkinlog2000 for a while. Although it hasn't been updated in quite some time.

Wasn't Neale an A-lister at one point or another? Before he up and decided to become a novelist?

I find it very amusing that the first comment I've seen from Baylink in quite some time was about breast measurement.

Sean is quite possibly the coolest person in existance.
posted by cCranium at 11:18 AM on April 27, 2001


I am shamed.

Skot wrote my wife a letter, and I was surprised. (but not displeased)

I tried to post to the rmd_cx message board and my post was... lost.

I just had a bar-b-cue on the roof, and now am full.

My coworkers put ketchup on hotdogs, and they are wrong.

I wondered where Baylink was, and he has returned.

The Link'n log is stillborn, long live the blog.
posted by thirteen at 11:35 AM on April 27, 2001


[Aaaaagh!] Glad you like the play. I like to get an obscure quote in everything I wrote. Usually they're more subtle. Have you noticed a certain number in your address bar?

[Iceberg] I usually do the word processing spell check thing, but I posted the play late the other night (after the glee of finding it - I thought I'd lost it in a freak hard drive accident), and figured I'd already done it. I shall attempt to use my own personal on-line dictionary more curfully in the future.

[daveadams] I like your CD reviews, and your taste. The Goreki was one of the first classical CDs I bought and got me onto that whole big ride. Lately I've been a bit R&B (have you tried the Sugababes?) but I still get goosepimples at Beathoven.

While I'm hear, if anyone's got any questions about British culture...
posted by feelinglistless at 12:12 PM on April 27, 2001


May 6th will be my Metafilter birthday. After months of lurking, I was prompted to join up because of a hot discussion about the Spanish iMac. From tiny seeds, mighty trees grow.
posted by thirteen at 12:12 PM on April 27, 2001


13, why the shame? It certainly wasn't my intent. (Mostly, it was the irresistible desire to type the phrase "Ms. 13.")

I am capable of eating hot dogs only with mustard and melted cheese. In fact, my salivary glands just now started spasming and twitching like a herd of collies hooked up to car batteries.

I worry about this thread sometimes. Does Matt occasionally turn a gimlet eye over here, and mutter, "Those goddam little shits."? I am forever worried about giving Matt offense, but that's mainly because I'm pretty neurotic (this, I'm sure, is big news).

Does anyone remember the song "Switching To Glide" by The Kings? I'm completely obsessed with finding an old copy of this somewhere. I found a hinky-looking 80s mix that included it on some German site, but there's gotta be a better way. "Switching to GLIIIIIIDE!" There's bubblegum, and there's great bubblegum. My little lowbrow contribution to the music discussion, I suppose.

BattleBots tomorrow. I'll have a Bloody Mary in my hand (I make terrifyingly good Bloody Marys, I am told--I want to find a competition for such things and enter it), and shall toast 1142.
posted by Skot at 12:16 PM on April 27, 2001


I was shamed by the "Linkinlog(s)", not by you Skot. Never by you.

I forgot to reply to Avogadro a few days back. To paraphrase the evil English king from Braveheart, the only thing wrong with Chicago, is that it is full of Chicagoans. (pause, wait for laughter to die down)

I am so over city life, but as bigger cities go it is not so bad. I hate my politicians, but it does provide for virtually cultural fix I may want. As I am older now, my need for really late night pizza has waned, and I find myself wanting quiet, space, and a non-light polluted night sky. I am going to take a daylong beekeeping class in Indiana this summer to see if I can hold to my imaginings when I am covered with a swarm. If I can, I am going to try to assist an older beekeeper who operates within Chicago's city limits, in preparation for my island paradise of the semi near future. John 13, wind farmer, beekeeper, Nova Scotian ex pat American
It is frustrating to me, that my environmental beliefs group me in with people whose political beliefs are so perpendicular to mine. Is there no place I can fit in?
posted by thirteen at 12:49 PM on April 27, 2001


but I still get goosepimples at Beathoven.

I assume you mean Beethoven, although Beathoven would be a good name for a Drum and Bass group...
posted by daveadams at 1:09 PM on April 27, 2001


[Skot] I am forever worried about giving Matt offense, but that's mainly because I'm pretty neurotic (this, I'm sure, is big news).

I hear neurosis is a common symptom of Cranky Bastard disease.
posted by daveadams at 1:12 PM on April 27, 2001


I am capable of eating hot dogs only with mustard and melted cheese

Melted cheese is good, but not required. The only thing needed to make a great hot dog IMO is yellow mustard. And a great hot dog of course. A mostly acceptable substitute for mustard is mayonnaise. And you can always add cheese (preferably melted) and chili. Mmmmmm....
posted by daveadams at 1:14 PM on April 27, 2001


Speaking of hot dogs, we're having a cookout tonight and hot dogs are on the menu. Awww yeah.
posted by daveadams at 1:17 PM on April 27, 2001


Can you guys hear me all right? I'm kinda losing my voice...
posted by daveadams at 1:28 PM on April 27, 2001


Okay, so I'm too lazy to make that look any better.
posted by daveadams at 1:29 PM on April 27, 2001


A mostly acceptable substitute for mustard is mayonnaise.

My God. Now, I know I'm a vegetarian and therefore fair game for scorn from the likes of you, Dave, but the idea of mayo as a substitute for mustard on a hot dog is horrifying. A roast beef sandwich, maybe, but a hot dog What, do you put mayo on pretzels at the ballpark?

Mustard and pickle relish belong on a hot dog. Mayo does not.
posted by snarkout at 1:36 PM on April 27, 2001


Matthew Broderick as aaron (with glasses, for some reason I've always picutred aaron as having glasses, although no other characteristics come to mind).

Hey!

Um, well ... I guess Matthew Broderick isn't so bad. I do wear glasses, too.
posted by aaron at 1:43 PM on April 27, 2001



Now that the deja-news articles are available again on google, I can dig up some old A-List references:
=======================================
From: irvi2187@sundance.sjsu.edu
Subject: Re: Calling ASGX Regulars!
Newsgroups: alt.society.generation-x
Date: 1996/01/21
------------------------------------------------

In <4drmgu$n4q@news.cais.com>, acw@ids2.idsonline.com (Amanda Wilson) writes:
>rrp@CS.Arizona.EDU (Rob Piltz) wrote:
>
>>In article <4dom18$2ju@cmcl2.NYU.EDU>, coates wrote:
>>>
>>>
>>>I grep (in no particular order) for hubbard, schwarz, basil, lehmann,
>>>steve, wayloo, v-x, katchoo, maia, wise, beaudry, randell, conlon,
>>>cooperman, farley, lathrop, berin, kasar, holly... nada.
>
>Any more questions?
>
>>What am I? Chopped livah?
>
>Yeah ... Coates, are you trying to start another A-list flame war?

I'll just sit here from my C-list computer and pout...
posted by CrazyUncleJoe at 2:04 PM on April 27, 2001


Wolfgang Flür from Kraftwerk has a beat band called "the Beathovens".

A cupcake would be good right now.
posted by thirteen at 2:06 PM on April 27, 2001


Plus, DODGEBALL!
================

From: pippa (pippa@eznet.net)
Subject: Re: A GenX Moment (tm): Playground Games
Newsgroups: alt.society.generation-x
Date: 1996/01/06
----------------------------------------------
Kelly T. Conlon wrote:
> In article <4ch1qe$2s0@news.bu.edu>, Lynda Farley wrote:
>
> >Other kewl childhood games included: Freeze Tag, T.V. Tag
>
> You forgot "dodgeball".

NOT. Dodgeball was NOT kewl for those of us branded Class Misfit. You
see, the other team would gang up and just keep aiming for the CM, and I
believe I spent 8 years of phys ed in Catholic grammar school ducking
and/or crying.

Thank GOD I got to take dance for gym in high school!

--
~pippa
Home Page doing Limbo: http://home.eznet.net/~pippa
posted by CrazyUncleJoe at 2:09 PM on April 27, 2001


had, had a band.
posted by thirteen at 2:14 PM on April 27, 2001


What, do you put mayo on pretzels at the ballpark?

Mmmmm, that doesn't sound too bad... thanks for the suggestion.

I luuuuuv mayo, it goes well on most any sandwich-related food (including hot dogs). But mustard is still better on hot dogs. Relish is for losers, though. ;)
posted by daveadams at 2:32 PM on April 27, 2001


Um, well ... I guess Matthew Broderick isn't so bad. I do wear glasses, too.

I was right!! Hey, don't worry about the Matthew Broderick thing. He was the only actor I could think of at the time that I've seen wearing glasses regularly who isn't old. Do you want to be thought of as old?
posted by daveadams at 2:34 PM on April 27, 2001


Review in which I was compared to Matthew Broderick. Not to steal any of aaron's thunder.
posted by Skot at 3:01 PM on April 27, 2001


This list is the very subtle B-List. It's for people who would like to think they're too much of a rebel for the a-list, but who secretly deep-in-their-heart want to join it.

I was never an A-lister. If one remembers this, they'll recall I was labelled and enemy of the a-list.

All through high-school I was compared with hollywood types depending on my hair - I have a face that sort of is defined by the hair. I've been compared to Matthew Broderick (in the Ferris days), but also the two leads in the first Ewan McGregor flick (you know, the one with the house and the couch and the dead guy), robert downey jnr... and a bunch of others I wont go into...

I hate dodgeball. Who invented that shit?
posted by Neale at 4:35 PM on April 27, 2001


alt.society.generation-x was a great place to lurk.

Speaking of vegetarian hot dogs, does anyone know the difference between Smart Dogs and Tofu Pups? All I know is that one is lighter than the other (color not weight).

Also, my phone doesn't work most of the time. Instead of a dial tone, there's a loud electric hum like when you get too close to a bug zapper.
posted by sudama at 6:35 PM on April 27, 2001


I've been told I look like Tim Ransom. Well, a pudgy version Tim Ransom playing the role of Bashir's friend Jack the Genetically Souped-Up Guy from one of the later Deep Space Nine epsiodes, anyway. I'm ever-so-proud. Yeah.

What's wrong with putting ketchup on hot dogs?
posted by youhas at 6:40 PM on April 27, 2001


You know, I've always thought veggie hot dogs were just a step too far in the mock-meat direction. Veggie burgers, resembling meat not at all as they do, seem okay to me as a food in their own right, but vegetarian hot dogs just strike me as wrong. Of course, I was never particularly enamored of hot dogs back when I wasn't a vegetarian, either, so perhaps that's the real problem.

Ketchup on hot dogs is unappealing, but not nearly as yucky as mayo. But then, once again, I have some general feelings about the food in question that come into play. Mayonnaise in potato salad, pasta salad, etc: fine. On sandwiches: not fine, unless it's aioli. So perhaps I'm not the best source of information on this subject.
posted by redfoxtail at 12:05 AM on April 28, 2001


Smart Dogs are fat-free and supposedly are more "meaty" than Tofu Pups (which aren't fat-free).

Smart Dogs:

Ingredients: Water, soy protein isolate, wheat gluten, evaporated cane juice, salt, yeast extract, soy sauce (water, soybeans, wheat, salt), granulated garlic, carageenan, spice extract, natural flavors from vegetable sources, vegetable gum, natural smoke flavor.

Tofu Pups:

Ingredients: Water, tofu (organically grown soybeans, water, magnesium chloride), Soy protein isolate, soy oil, spices, salt, beet powder, natural vegetable flavors, paprika oil, vegetable gum.

Keep in mind that there are also Wonderdogs and Smart Deli Jumbos. All of these are made by the same company.

As far as mock-meat stuff, check out Veat sometime (I recommend the nuggets). It's chewy and a bit freaky to consume.
posted by gluechunk at 12:47 AM on April 28, 2001


What's wrong with putting ketchup on hot dogs?

Other than everything? I am under the impression that the origins of this have to do with Chicago having once been a giant slaughter house. The legend goes, that we had access to very fresh meat, and thus ketchup was not needed to disguise the flavor of rot that had set in by the time the dogs reached the coasts. I don't know if this is true, but I have read "the Jungle", and immediately crossed spice loaf off my shopping list.

They really do taste better if you leave the ketchup off, the just do. I seldom get to say this anymore as my wife used the fruit paste on her dogs, and it is now considered picking a fight if I open my mouth in front of her.

I prefer Tofu pups when eating that sort of thing, as the texture is nice, and there is no clovey aftertaste.

My bun of choice is the potato bun. diced tomatoes, onions and celery salt. When possible, I write thirteen with the mustard (now in katakana).

Rogue tomatoes are begining to grow out of my compost pile, spring is here.
posted by thirteen at 1:10 PM on April 28, 2001


I'm sorry - how can it be wrong to put tomato sauce on Hot Dogs? Go to any Hot Dog veneder in the UK and next to the brown sauce will be the red stuff. In fact, a good way for venders to lose their livelihoods is not to have it there . . .

Anyone but Aaaaaaaaagh and redfoxtail read my play? I actually just bothered to re-read it and was amazed to find it's actually quite good (that's not ego - it's amazing it's readable at all considering some of my other epics). Some of the characters are in my latest opus - so I suppose thats actually a bit of a Pilot or preview (depending on your media). Wadya think? Comments (clean comments).

If you thought Book of Shadows was madness you try renting Titan AE and getting - to - the - end . . . luckily it was the thrid part of a triple bill with Gossip (The Usual Suspects meets Threesome - pretty good, although lacked focus) and Return to Me (which couldn't decide what story it was meant to be telling, making it Wresting Earnest Hemmingway meets Sleepless in Seattle, which is probably no place to be).

To return to the earlier DVD discussion, not much mention made of audio commentaries. For some reason these are more entertaining depending on how young the participants are.

Good examples:
The Usual Suspects (Brian Singer's second movie),
Idlehands (everybody's first film),
American Pie (everyone's first film),
The Opposite of Sex (directorial debut of a writer).

Awful commentaries (usually so bad your hard pushed to get to the end even if the movie itself is any good):
The Thomas Crown Affair (John McTiernan),
anything by Rob Reiner (who seems to think that silence speaks a thousand words),
any of the James Bond technical commentaries (which always seem to consist of - 'I really like that effect.' 'That's a good effect.' 'That's a very effective effect.')
American Beauty (although it's nice to hear and English accent for a change, what's the point in having the writer there is he isn't going to say anything?)

Special mentions for:
Practical Magic (the talky bits with Sandra Bullock and Denise De Nova are actually more entertaining than the film),
Out of Sight (for reason I find this film difficult to watch now without the commentary on - aaaaaaaah!)
Pleasantville (in which the director spends two hours droning on about the theological significance of his work, punctuated with 'that's my wife/brother/husbad')
Return to Me (for proving how incestuous the film industry can be by pointing out what feel like five generations of a family on screen).

And while I remember - yes I know it's Beethoven - I was referencing Bill & Ted. Catch you later . . .
posted by feelinglistless at 1:48 PM on April 28, 2001


I read the play.
I think the Fight Club commentory is the best so far I've heard.
posted by Neale at 4:01 PM on April 28, 2001


Pleasantville (in which the director spends two hours droning on about the theological significance of his work, punctuated with 'that's my wife/brother/husbad')

Wow. I would not have thought that movie could get any worse.
posted by sudama at 11:08 PM on April 28, 2001


Where did everyone go?

I am talking to myself again.
Asia is rising against me.
I haven't got a chinaman's chance.
I'd better consider my national resources.
My national resources consist of two joints of marijuana millions of genitals an unpublishable private literature that goes 1400 miles an hour and twenty-five-thousand mental institutions.
I say nothing about my prisons nor the millions of underprivileged who live in my flowerpots under the light of five hundred suns.
I have abolished the whorehouses of France, Tangiers is the next to go.
My ambition is to be President despite the fact that I'm a Catholic.

America how can I write a holy litany in your silly mood?
I will continue like Henry Ford my strophes are as individual as his automobiles more so they're all different sexes.
America I will sell you strophes $2500 a piece $500 down on your old strophe
America free Tom Mooney
America save the Spanish Loyalists
American Sacco & Vanzetti must not die
America I am the Scottsboro boys.
America when I was seven momma took me to Communist Cell meetings they sold us garbanzos a handful per ticket a ticket costs a nickel and the speeches were free everybody was angelic and sentimental about the workers it was all so sincere you have no idea what a good thing the party was in 1835 Scott Nearing was a grand old man a real mensch Mother Bloor made me cry I once saw Israel Amter plain. Everybody must have been a spy.
America you don't really want to go to war.
posted by sudama at 2:10 AM on April 29, 2001


Hey there, Mr. Ginsberg, America wants classical strophes. Where's your Greek chorus? We don't hold with these new-fangled modern strophe things.
posted by redfoxtail at 9:06 AM on April 29, 2001


I got called a troll.
posted by thirteen at 8:29 PM on April 29, 2001


Are you saying you aren't a troll?

And all this time I thought...
posted by daveadams at 8:51 PM on April 29, 2001


America wants to go to war. Very Dead Kennedys.

I'm a troll, but the only person who rises to the bait is me.

I don't eat any meat that claims to be otherwise.
posted by Neale at 10:58 PM on April 29, 2001


Some statistics for the interested:

Neale - 178 posts
daveadams - 110 posts
thirteen - 35 posts
Avagadro - 32 posts
cCranium - 27 posts

When will daveadams overtake Neale as 1142's top poster? Is anyone else even in the running?

This should be more fun to bet on that the 1000th post question.
posted by lagado at 12:37 AM on April 30, 2001


A contribution to the discussion re: vegetarianism to expected body size.

1. vegetarian -- one who eats no meat or fish or (often) any animal products

2. vegetarian -- one who eschews mains in favor of dessert.
posted by lagado at 12:51 AM on April 30, 2001


I'M #3! I'M #3!

Anybody know where I rank in Bens?

I am so damn tired, I ended up with a poor 3 hours of sleep last night.
posted by thirteen at 7:16 AM on April 30, 2001


You are a troll, Thirteen; in fact, you're a greater troll. You are a chaotic evil creature with 6 to 8 hit dice, an armor class of 4, and 3 HP regeneration per round. Only a mighty warrior (or magic-user, or cleric) can defeat you!
posted by snarkout at 7:24 AM on April 30, 2001


If she had called me Drow I probably would not have been ruffled.

I want you all to know, that I am really Lawful Neutral, armor class 10 + 1 dex bonus +2 leather jacket (d20 system), with 29 Hit points.
posted by thirteen at 7:41 AM on April 30, 2001


Ladies and Gentlemen, that last post, was my 1000th post to Metafilter. In honor of the event I will be rerunning the best of Thirteen here in 1142 over the next few days. I hope you will enjoy reading them, as much as I enjoyed bringing them to you.

Here is a post where I go toe to toe with my arch enemy Dodgypunk:
Trying to define punk is a futile gesture. There was too much of it happening in too many places for a single definition to stand without contradicting some other equally valid form. The trick is to pick a definition you can live with and properly argue at parties. In my as yet unwritten treatise "Who is the Candy Rocker?" I will lay out the Platonian view that will put an end to the what is punk question once and for all.

If I can change just one mind on Metafilter, then it has all been worth it
posted by thirteen at 8:06 AM on April 30, 2001


Now that you've revealed your true stats, Thirteen, everyone will know just how to destroy you! Was that wise?
posted by redfoxtail at 8:12 AM on April 30, 2001


If I can end just one blockquote...
posted by redfoxtail at 8:23 AM on April 30, 2001


Arrgh! That blockquote was closed, check the source! It looks fine in my unpopular browser, but I saw breakdown when I launched Cranium Explorer! Truely we live in disasterious times.
posted by thirteen at 8:48 AM on April 30, 2001


Oh, I closed the tags in the wrong order. Still looks fine on my screen grumble grumble.
posted by thirteen at 8:57 AM on April 30, 2001


You have moved into a dark place. It is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.
posted by bradlands at 9:00 AM on April 30, 2001


Sigh. Always number 5. I'm probably number 5 in regular MeFi posts, too. Well, probably not so much anymore, but for a while the only people I knew of that out-posted me were baylink and Steven Den Beste.

I have no idea when my thousandth post occured, but in the interests of furthering my "follower" role, I'll provide the following summary of everything I've said at Mefi:

"People are inherently good/smart/curious, dammit!"
"Aw crap."
"Standards, yay!"
"Napster, boo."
"Free Information, yay!"
posted by cCranium at 9:05 AM on April 30, 2001


>turn on lantern

(Dagnabbit, cC, why'd you have to go and get in the way? Hmph.)
posted by redfoxtail at 9:09 AM on April 30, 2001


Oh, and Matt of course, he far outranks me in number of posts, but I don't count him, since he had a head start. Baylink, SDB and I joined within a 2 month period.

Although I've apparenly recent passed SDB in postings. (1320 to his 1302.

Baylink has over 1400, but his recent posting lag due to apparent "real life" has given me a chance to catch up and surpass!

Hey, it looks like I've passed Matt as well.

Daveadams is catching up to me.

Tiaka appears to have multiple accounts.

I wonder how hard it would be do write a script that hits every user.mefi page and rank posters according to number of posts.
posted by cCranium at 9:13 AM on April 30, 2001


About a month ago I made some people get together to play AD&D with the express purpose of bringing back all the great monsters you never see anymore. I mean, whatever happened to the hordes of goblins, kobolds, and orcs that used to populate our dungeons? For that matter, what of the slimy things, like the Green Slimes and the Gelatinous Cubes and the Gray Ochre?

So I did and now the party is too beefy to even deal with such things again. Anyone have any good ideas of some massive creatures to toss at the party? (They've been locked in a death struggle with a lich the last two sessions, but that's getting old.)
posted by norm at 9:16 AM on April 30, 2001


Norm: My wife just painted 16 new goblins and they look great. If the part is too tough, just have them stumble into nests of the old timers and they can flank your guys left and right. This will only work as long as none of your party are set up with the great cleave feat, and then one guy can be a one-man conga line of death.

Also, I recommend Displacer Beasts, and Mind Flayers, not to mention the Drow. Hell, even the Trolls just mentioned still pack a lot of trouble. Displacer beasts are really damn hard to hit and kill.

Me painting a Mummy. Me fearing a Mummy. I like games with lots of undead, and Night of the living dead senarios ie: the party is locked in a barn, and there are 75 miniatures waiting outside.
posted by thirteen at 9:35 AM on April 30, 2001


All of you 1k clubbers are very impressive. If you've been around here a year, and you have 1300+ comments, then you must average four comments a day. That's amazing! I only average one comment a day, so it's going to take me another two years to get to the 1k level. That or I'll have to purposefully increase my posting, which is tough because I really don't have that strong of an opinion about 98% of the subjects discussed here.

Which reminds me, the subject of the "SDB posts too much" thread was brought up somewhere around here recently, and I have to say that I've festered in guilt for quite awhile about that one. You see, I STARTED that thread but did it as a congratulations, not a "I hate SDB" thing. Had I realized just what an atomic poster Baylink was at the time, or other 1k clubbers, I wouldn't have even started that.

Finally, does anyone know if Metatalk comments count towards our stats? I don't think they do, which is a shame because it would probably pump up my comments by 50 or so.

ps: thanks for the tips, 13. I've already tossed some Drow at them, but the Displacer Beasts will work ok, I think. Undead hordes, huh. Yeah, that could theoretically cut it. Who wants some Mummy Rot? (I do, I do!)
posted by norm at 9:39 AM on April 30, 2001


This is an old entry from my weblog, I found it while looking for the mummy pictures:

I spent some quality time with the Blade Runner book last night. I did not wish to ding it up, so I did not take it with on my trip. It was kind of strange to pick it up again, as I am currently reading another Phillip Dick book that dovetails with the Blade runer story in a way I cannot finger yet. Dick dedicates the book to his daughters, and I was thinking, those poor girls, saddled with that last name, and I notice that one of the is named Isa. ISA! What were they thinking? Is a dick. Poor girl, I bet she did not hyphenate her last name when she married.

no blockquotes here, no siree.

Post as true today, as the day it was written.
posted by thirteen at 9:40 AM on April 30, 2001


Metatalk is your gift to the world, and it does not keep score.
posted by thirteen at 9:44 AM on April 30, 2001


Hey! cCranium! ROB! ROOOOOOOOOOOB! What the hell is this all about from your weblog?!?

Hello. Your browser, for whatever reason, cannot handle the W3C standards for HTML 4.01, CSS-1, and/or DOM-1.

On IE5? [Whimper] You've never loved me. I know this now.
posted by Skot at 9:56 AM on April 30, 2001


>turn on lantern

You switch the brass lantern on.

Sloping E/W Canyon

You are in an awkward sloping east/west canyon.
posted by bradlands at 10:05 AM on April 30, 2001 [3 favorites]


[Offtopic Musing]
Would the superhero Straw Man be good or evil?

*That's right, Fallacy Boy! Llama Girl has incorrectly stated the Mayor's position on the school bond proposal. Fortunately, I've brought along the Conclusive Ray Gun of Logic!*

*Holy truth tables, Straw Man! You've turned Llama Girl into an Irrelevant Conclusion.*

*Yes I have, Fallacy Boy, Yes I have.*
posted by iceberg273 at 10:55 AM on April 30, 2001


I wish you people would remember to close the tags when you leave! Do you think I'm made of electricity?! I don't want to pay for the whole neighborhood to be italicised, Dammit!

Aw, shit, Skot, tell me it isn't so...

Sonofabitch.

Or rather, Aw crap.

Hey thirteen, when/where did you get called a troll? I missed that completely.

norm: Getting 1k posts is like watching a pot of water boil. It'll happen in the same amount of time as it would've if you weren't paying attention, but it's much easier to get distracted and not notice time pass if you're fucking around on MetaFilter.

redfoxtail: I was going to light the torch, but I forgot to pick it up, and I didn't even know we had a lantern.

> i
posted by cCranium at 10:58 AM on April 30, 2001


>i

You are carrying:
a wicker cage (which is open but empty)
a small bottle (which is empty)
a brass lantern (providing light)
some tasty food
a set of keys

>
posted by bradlands at 11:08 AM on April 30, 2001



I forgot to close a tag just now. Thus, the sole purpose of this post was to close the tag. I blame my 56K modem.

But cCranium beat me to it. So now this post has no purpose.

But I'll post it anyways.

Also, I was hunting for fossils in Ohio this weekend, and so I missed the First Annual 1142 Vegetarian Hot Dog Discussion. This makes me sad, but in an eclectic way.

It's hard to find flowering plants that like to grow in the shade.

close wicker cage
posted by iceberg273 at 11:21 AM on April 30, 2001


cCranium, that would be in 7307: A thread that will live in infamy.
posted by thirteen at 11:44 AM on April 30, 2001


>close wicker cage

You close the wicker cage.

>
posted by bradlands at 11:49 AM on April 30, 2001


>e
posted by redfoxtail at 11:56 AM on April 30, 2001


Damn, it's an absolutely gorgeous day, and I just don't want to do my work. Don't wanna! Don't!

Perhaps I will go sequester myself somewhere dark and dank, then not let myself out until I've achieved something of substance. Ugh.
posted by redfoxtail at 12:02 PM on April 30, 2001


>e

In Debris Room

You are in a debris room filled with stuff washed in from the surface. A low wide passage with cobbles becomes plugged with mud and debris here, but an awkward canyon leads upward and west.

A note on the wall says, "Magic word XYZZY."

A three foot black rod with a rusty star on one end lies nearby.
posted by bradlands at 12:04 PM on April 30, 2001


Oh, if only young Brad had known, on that fateful day, that his wish ("When I grow up, I wanna be a text-based adventure parser!") would come horribly, tragically true.
posted by anildash at 12:17 PM on April 30, 2001


I love adventures! Pick up the rod.

I hope we don't have to fight any trolls, like, say, thirteen.
posted by Skot at 12:25 PM on April 30, 2001


>take rod

I don't seem to be taking my own advice about the dank work-hole, do I? Drats.
posted by redfoxtail at 12:31 PM on April 30, 2001


>Pick up the rod.

Taken.

>
posted by bradlands at 12:37 PM on April 30, 2001


Man, all the good infighting happens in the threads about train stations.

I figure Brad's Zork knowledge is going to run out after about three more posts. I think we should play Nord and Bert Couldn't Make Heads Nor Tales Out of It, the one and only Infocom "game" I finished in one sitting.

> I love adventures! Pick up the rod.

I don't understand "love".

I hate it when Brad ruins my fun. Except that he does it in such a fun way!
posted by cCranium at 12:38 PM on April 30, 2001


>take rod

You already have that.

>
posted by bradlands at 12:40 PM on April 30, 2001


>gesture vigorously at note with rod
posted by iceberg273 at 12:43 PM on April 30, 2001


>gesture vigorously at note with rod

That's not a verb I recognize.

>
posted by bradlands at 12:47 PM on April 30, 2001


This always happens. I took those lessons in thrid grade about using more specific verbs seriously. And look where it got me.

>hit note with rod
posted by iceberg273 at 12:52 PM on April 30, 2001


"XYZZY" should be a slam-dunk to decipher--not a common pattern--but I'll be damned if I can think of it.

>Say "Walla Walla, Washington"
posted by Skot at 12:54 PM on April 30, 2001


>Say "Walla Walla, Washington"

I bought my car in Walla Walla, Washington! How about that!
posted by iceberg273 at 12:57 PM on April 30, 2001


>hit note with rod

I only understood you as far as wanting to hit the note.

>Say "Walla Walla, Washington"

You can only do that to something animate.

>
posted by bradlands at 1:00 PM on April 30, 2001


XYZZY might be GAMMA or MOTTO or MANNA or JESSE.
posted by iceberg273 at 1:02 PM on April 30, 2001


But it isn't; it's just magic. So there.
posted by redfoxtail at 1:08 PM on April 30, 2001


Wait! Does this mean that brad passes the turing test?

>w
posted by iceberg273 at 1:09 PM on April 30, 2001


Yeah, I thought of manna and gamma (though not the others), but they just didn't seem, y'know, fraught with meaning. Not that Brad isn't willfully perverse enough to pick any of those.

>Take note.
posted by Skot at 1:11 PM on April 30, 2001


>w

Sloping E/W Canyon

>
posted by bradlands at 1:11 PM on April 30, 2001


>take note

You can't see any such thing.

>
posted by bradlands at 1:13 PM on April 30, 2001


Oops, left without the note.

>e
>take note
>w
posted by iceberg273 at 1:13 PM on April 30, 2001


You sillies! XYZZY (spoiler, of sorts).
posted by redfoxtail at 1:17 PM on April 30, 2001


>e

In Debris Room

>take note

That's hardly portable.

>w

Sloping E/W Canyon

>
posted by bradlands at 1:22 PM on April 30, 2001


You sillies! XYZZY (spoiler, of sorts).

<slap forehead>Of course!</slaps forehead>

>w
posted by iceberg273 at 1:23 PM on April 30, 2001


> say XYZZY
posted by cCranium at 1:25 PM on April 30, 2001


>w

Orange River Chamber

You are in a splendid chamber thirty feet high. The walls aare frozen rivers of orange stone. An awkward canyon and a good passage exit from east and west sides of the chamber.

A cheerful little bird is sitting here singing.

>say XYZZY

(to the little bird)
Cheep! Chirp!

>
posted by bradlands at 1:31 PM on April 30, 2001


Christ, I am so not getting anything done today.

>open wicker cage
>take bird
posted by Skot at 1:36 PM on April 30, 2001


I hope this adventure doesn't have a forest. I always got lost in forests. And industrial parks (listless suddenly gets wistful about 'Hampstead'. Tries to get on bicycle without clips. Falls off).
posted by feelinglistless at 1:38 PM on April 30, 2001


>open wicker cage

You open the wicker cage.

>take bird

The bird was unafraid when you entered, but as you approach it becomes disturbed and you cannot catch it.

>
posted by bradlands at 1:39 PM on April 30, 2001


we've got some tasty food . . .

>put food in cage
posted by iceberg273 at 1:45 PM on April 30, 2001


>put food in cage

You put the tasty food into the wicker cage.

>
posted by bradlands at 1:47 PM on April 30, 2001


Goddamn bird.

>Put cage on floor
posted by Skot at 2:12 PM on April 30, 2001


>put cage on floor

Dropped.

>
posted by bradlands at 2:23 PM on April 30, 2001


When will daveadams overtake Neale as 1142's top poster?

Yikes, it looks like if I don't start posting I'll be overtaken by these damn text-adventure-seekers.
posted by daveadams at 2:38 PM on April 30, 2001


>wait
posted by redfoxtail at 2:38 PM on April 30, 2001


I will overtake Neale, though. Just you wait and see. I'm the king of being annoying and posting far more than I should.
posted by daveadams at 2:39 PM on April 30, 2001


I hate text adventure games.
posted by daveadams at 2:40 PM on April 30, 2001


Mostly because I suck at them.
posted by daveadams at 2:40 PM on April 30, 2001


Is it cheating to post one-sentence posts like this just to keep my lead?
posted by daveadams at 2:41 PM on April 30, 2001


Yes I know I'm not really in the lead just yet. But I will be. I... WILL... BE.
posted by daveadams at 2:42 PM on April 30, 2001


When I was in sixth grade I was much more creative than I am now. Not only did I pen my infamous YIKES! comics, but I also wrote a series of sci-fi adventures entitled Star Burgers. It was a big hit at the time as I recall, but looking back I wonder if I really was that poor of a writer in sixth grade. You can read Star Burgers on my website and tell me what you think. Is that typical 11-year-old writing or was I dumber than I thought?
posted by daveadams at 2:46 PM on April 30, 2001


By the way, my online alter ego user ID that I occasionally employ when I want to be anonymous comes from Star Burgers. I've always been enamored with that particular creation of mine for some reason. It seems to be pretty unique, however. The only place I've been unable to get an account with that name has been on AIM. Everywhere else it seems to be available.

No, I'm not going to tell you what it is, but if you're smart you'll figure it out.
posted by daveadams at 2:48 PM on April 30, 2001


>wait

Time passes.

>
posted by bradlands at 2:50 PM on April 30, 2001


Am I crazy? I'm re-writing my custom blogging software, generalizing it for multiple weblogs of a variety of types. I hope to include discussion capability and an extensive selection of inline macros, plus rule sets for a standard weblog, a discussion blog, an online diary, and a webzine. All that and I'm not even sure I want to provide a service or software to anyone. Am I crazy?

Don't answer that.
posted by daveadams at 2:51 PM on April 30, 2001


Of course, all the templating will be handled with XSLT, although that may not be the interface I present to the user. But if the only user is me, do I care about such things?
posted by daveadams at 2:52 PM on April 30, 2001


Community band rehearsal is tonight... we're playing a couple of decent songs this time around. One in particular has a rawkin' horn part: American Overture for Band by Joseph Wilcox Jenkins.

We're also playing an Ellington medley, a My Fair Lady medley, and a South Pacific medley. What's with the medleys in concert band? Gack.

I guess all the good stuff is written for top-level wind ensembles, which we are not. It's hard to get high quality out of a once-a-week band of anyone-who-wants-to-come.

Still, why can't we play Hindemith's Symphony in B flat just once?
posted by daveadams at 2:56 PM on April 30, 2001


Actually there's lots of good stuff out there for concert band/wind ensemble. Even stuff at our average skill level. But we don't play enough of it. We had Schumann's Be Glad Then, America in our folders, but I think it's been dropped. It had potential if we could have cleaned it up. A lot.

Grainger wrote a ton of great band pieces, but noooo, we have to play medleys and marches. They're the crowd pleasers supposedly. My wife, in the crowd, hates marches. Myself, a horn player, I also hate marches.

Well, some aren't so bad, but when 80-90% of your part consists of offbeats it gets kinda tiresome. But you'll find that the only section in a band that can play offbeats well is the horn section.
posted by daveadams at 2:58 PM on April 30, 2001


The word 'the' has appeared in this thread 2681 times (prior to this post).
The letter 'z' has appeared 197 times.
On average, Neale posts at 6:03 PM PST.
The number 1142 appears in this thread 32 times.
The word 'wrong' appears 40 times.
The standard deviation of thirteen's posts is 4 hours and 5 minutes.
There have been 503 questions asked. Some of them were rhetorical.
This is my 26th post.
posted by iceberg273 at 3:01 PM on April 30, 2001


Urban sprawl: it's a problem. If you've read my weblog over the past couple of years, you'll know how much I hate the sprawling, auto-centric development that has taken over our cities. Blech.

It's bad enough when all new construction is built in such a way and in such a location that no sane person would even attempt to approach outside of an automobile, the bigger the better.

It's even worse when city governments, county governments, state governments, and the federal government come in and exacerbate the problem. Post offices in strip malls, anchor libraries on the very edge of town, turning vast swaths of center cities from vibrant (or at least potentially vibrant) neighborhoods to parking lots, using powers of imminent domain to drive out what viable businesses and residents do remain to create half-assed and misguided "urban renewal" that usually ends up sucking what life is left in such an area right out. All of this happened in the 50s, the 60s, the 70s, the 80s, the 90s, and it's still happening.

And it's so frustrating. Surely there's a better solution? Surely all that money going to building more roads, more sewers, extending infrastructure out at exponentially larger and larger costs isn't worth it. Couldn't we use that money to subsidize sane, human-scale, pedestrian-oriented development instead of the kind of junk we throw up nowadays?

Sure, society has changed. Mostly because of the way we choose to subsidize development. It feeds on itself, but that doesn't mean we can't go back.

But do you think the government's going to be able to fix it? I don't. Forcing people to develop things one way is only going to cause a different set of problems.

Is it hopeless?
posted by daveadams at 3:08 PM on April 30, 2001


I admit it. I watch Survivor. And I like it. And I'm sooo looking forward to seeing the final episode this Thursday. I think Colby's got it wrapped up unless Tina can somehow win immunity.
posted by daveadams at 3:10 PM on April 30, 2001


daveadams, I used to write weird, "humorous" stuff just like that at that age. I was also fascinated with Andy Capp, for some odd reason, and filled many notebooks trying to duplicate his visage.

You're about to find out why I was terrible at these text games: frustration.

>hit bird with rod
posted by Skot at 3:12 PM on April 30, 2001


I've been playing a lot of Debussy lately. I have this book that I got way back like eight years ago, called The Joy of Debussy. Cute title, but it's got a lot of good stuff. I wish Estampes and the Etudes were included, but there is Children's Corner and most of Suite Bergamasque.

Particularly, I've been working on Prelude from Suite Bergamasque the last few days. It's a lot easier than it looks, but there's still a lot of great moments. And plenty of challenges for the ill-trained but determined pianist.

If only I had more motivation to practice, I could probably be a pretty decent pianist. But just when I start to get good I slack off, lose interest in the pieces I'm playing, and start focusing on something else.
posted by daveadams at 3:15 PM on April 30, 2001


However, the word redundant has only appeared once. Until now.
posted by iceberg273 at 3:16 PM on April 30, 2001


Clair de Lune, though, is one of my favorites. It's the reason I got the book. My mom inspired me to learn it by playing the first bit of the piece from memory. My mom is amazing: she was recalling a piece she had learned 30 years prior when she was in high school.

She couldn't make it all the way through, but she did get past the intro, which everyone has heard a thousand times probably, to the second section. I fell in love with those arpeggios the moment I heard them, and I knew I had to learn that piece.

I still haven't mastered Clair de Lune, but I've got those arpeggios down cold.
posted by daveadams at 3:20 PM on April 30, 2001


I know why the bird won't come out of the cage, but I'm not tellin'. (And it has nothing to do with Maya Angelou.)

Surely all that money going to building more roads, more sewers, extending infrastructure out at exponentially larger and larger costs isn't worth it. Couldn't we use that money to subsidize sane, human-scale, pedestrian-oriented development instead of the kind of junk we throw up nowadays?

Who is "we"? Local governments tend not to discourage growth because it makes real estate developers unhappy. In Maryland, the governor has been making a rhetorical shift towards "smart growth", but it remains to be seen whether there's a sufficient desire on the part of the American general public to live closer to urban centers to make it work. And if there isn't, you're screwed -- if you do everything you can to make cities affordable and liveable for middle-class America, and they still don't come, you're out of luck.

The ring city approach is fine in some ways, but when the ring expands, you get dead areas that used to be suburbs -- when the property value drops, the schools go to hell, there's less pent-up desire to move there, and property values drop. It's a vicious cycle, and there's almost nothing you can do to resucitate an area that, when you get down to it, had very little other than affordable homes and decent schools to recommend it. I grew up in an early planned community (Columbia, Maryland, as discussed in some previous MeFi threads), and the solution that seems to be working there is attracting middle-class immigrants and retirees, but that can't work everywhere, can it? I was reading about rundown L.A. suburbs about a year ago, and they just sounded like a horrible place to live.
posted by snarkout at 3:22 PM on April 30, 2001


the word redundant has only appeared once. Until now.

Let me screw up your stats: redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant redundant.
posted by daveadams at 3:22 PM on April 30, 2001


Who is "we"?

Society. Builders. Developers. Whoever is responsible for allowing all that junk to be built. And that's all of us.

Local governments tend not to discourage growth because it makes real estate developers unhappy.

I know why they do it. But anyway it's not about discouraging growth. And I hate to use this line of reasoning because it's so close to the "smart growth" propaganda, but it's about how you grow. Auto-centric development is not the only option. It's just the only option we have built into our zoning codes, government regulations, collective mind, or what-have-you. It's the only way we can even imagine growing.

Just try to open up a restaurant, an apartment complex, or an office building in an older, urban area in a mostly-suburban city without providing the "right" amount of parking. It doesn't matter if you can succeed at such a business or not. The existing rules do not allow you to take that risk, and potentially change just a little bit how things currently work. And big-city bureaucracy is so thick and slow and painful that most people are not willing or able to take the necessary steps to get around the regulations in order to take that risk.

if you do everything you can to make cities affordable and liveable for middle-class America, and they still don't come, you're out of luck.

True, but we haven't done everything we can. Until recently, most cities certainly didn't encourage making cities affordable and liveable. In fact it seemed as if they were doing everything in their power to destroy the urban-ness of themselves.

It's always easier to build anew, start from scratch. Entropy forces us to constantly work just to keep up the same standards. But my question is, is the easy way the best way?

Or a better question is, who's going to change this, anyway? I've already stated I don't trust the government to do so. Developers seem to love to stick to what they know, and most of them know auto-centric suburban development. I dunno what the answer is.
posted by daveadams at 3:37 PM on April 30, 2001


Well, that's enough for now, folks. But I'll be back. Count on it.
posted by daveadams at 3:37 PM on April 30, 2001


True, but