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First it was a Goldfish. Now it's a Rabbit!
March 26, 2012 8:46 AM   Subscribe

"Herman Cain's latest crazy ad has launched (so to speak), and features a bunny rabbit which represents 'small business' that is hurled into the air with a catapult and then blown to bits with a rifle. It's a follow-up to his goldfish snuff film."*
posted by ericb (106 comments total) 12 users marked this as a favorite

 
Previous FPP: The goldfish is fine! In fact he is tweeting!
posted by ericb at 8:46 AM on March 26, 2012 [1 favorite]


I'm convinced Herman Cain is a Yes Man prank to help the democrats win.
posted by a womble is an active kind of sloth at 8:49 AM on March 26, 2012 [25 favorites]


At a certain point it's hard to escape the conclusion that we, the people, are being trolled.
posted by The Whelk at 8:49 AM on March 26, 2012 [21 favorites]


How Herman Cain Became a Tim and Eric Character.
posted by ericb at 8:49 AM on March 26, 2012 [2 favorites]


Republican economic policy: Developed and best explained by sadistic children.
posted by furiousxgeorge at 8:50 AM on March 26, 2012 [5 favorites]


As a rabbit owner of 11 years, I am so not okay with this.
posted by zizzle at 8:50 AM on March 26, 2012 [10 favorites]


I have questions.

Too many questions.
posted by mazola at 8:50 AM on March 26, 2012 [1 favorite]


The shooter looks remarkably like a hipsterified Stephen Colbert.
posted by a womble is an active kind of sloth at 8:51 AM on March 26, 2012 [16 favorites]


I thought the democrats weren't allowing us to have guns.
posted by mazola at 8:52 AM on March 26, 2012 [3 favorites]


Obviously Cain and Santorum both hire the same ad agency obsessed with CGI and insane hyperbole.

Or maybe republican candidates see the world as an uncanny representation of a wasteland.
posted by notseamus at 8:52 AM on March 26, 2012 [2 favorites]


What's up with that?
posted by mazola at 8:52 AM on March 26, 2012 [1 favorite]


As per usual with this sort of thing, the first youtube comment is fucking comedy gold.
posted by elizardbits at 8:57 AM on March 26, 2012 [6 favorites]


God American politics is confusing.
posted by Samuel Farrow at 8:58 AM on March 26, 2012


Republican economic policy: Developed and best explained by sadistic children.

That reminds me of this whole thing where Grover Norquist explains that he came up with his pledge when he was twelve.
posted by XMLicious at 8:58 AM on March 26, 2012 [10 favorites]


I'm wondering what the "call to action" in those ads is supposed to be. What do they want viewers to actually do? (I mean besides make suggestions for their next weird ad.)
posted by ThatCanadianGirl at 9:00 AM on March 26, 2012 [1 favorite]


The metaphor here is confusing me. The rabbit is loaded into a skeet trap. AKA, a clay pigeon. Is the tax code giving rabbits the ability to fly?

To elizardbits' post, the first Youtube comment is
is this supposed to be "shocking" to make people pay attention?
IVE SEEN A GROWN MAN GET FUCKED TO DEATH BY A HORSE. you're gonna have to do better than this, pizza boy
SpanningTheEons 35 minutes ago
posted by Nelson at 9:05 AM on March 26, 2012 [54 favorites]


elizardbits: assuming you're referring to the horse comment, you've just said all I can think of to say on the subject...
posted by sodium lights the horizon at 9:05 AM on March 26, 2012


Hey, rest of the country, this guy was a supposedly serious candidate for President.
posted by Legomancer at 9:06 AM on March 26, 2012


gah, rest of the WORLD I mean
posted by Legomancer at 9:06 AM on March 26, 2012


They missed a perfectly good opportunity to end the ad by having the camera pan across the young girl holding a fuzzy-wuzzy kit with a tag around its neck that said "Young Yeller."

Also, I'd like the next ad to show Cain jumping off that cliff for the good of the country. Make it happen, ad monkeys.
posted by zarq at 9:06 AM on March 26, 2012


Just noting that every editorial by Cain on the Cainconnections.com web site begins with the sentence, "Hello, I’m Herman Cain. They think we are STUPID!"
posted by aught at 9:06 AM on March 26, 2012 [2 favorites]


I'd like to state for the record that I do, in fact, have several questions.
posted by Navelgazer at 9:07 AM on March 26, 2012 [4 favorites]


God American politics is confusing.

Only if you expect it to make a lick of sense.
posted by aught at 9:09 AM on March 26, 2012


So, will my question(s) be fielded by a dead-eyed 10 year old girl on a skeet holiday with a very good shot indeed standing behind her with a loaded rifle? I guess that's my first question.
posted by obscurator at 9:17 AM on March 26, 2012 [1 favorite]


The Crazy is strong in this one.
posted by slogger at 9:18 AM on March 26, 2012


Samuel Farrow: "God American politics is confusing."

And frequently hilarious. There's a strong, traditional streak of absurdity in American politics.

Molly Ivins used to write about the antics of the Texas state legislature in her columns, and once noted that in 1971, the Texas House of Representatives passed a resolution honoring Albert DeSalvo for his efforts in population control. The bill was introduced by a House member to prove the point that the legislature paid no attention to the laws they were passing.
posted by zarq at 9:20 AM on March 26, 2012 [7 favorites]


"Any questions?"

...yes, actually.
posted by Sticherbeast at 9:20 AM on March 26, 2012


Just noting that every editorial by Cain on the Cainconnections.com web site begins with the sentence, "Hello, I’m Herman Cain. They think we are STUPID!"

Stopped clock, twice a day, etc.
posted by Sticherbeast at 9:24 AM on March 26, 2012


So, Gallagher is retiring. Let's just do this thing right, slap an Obama sticker on the Sledge-O-Matic, and then we can fully explore Herman Cain's intellectual depth, on stage, forever.
posted by deanklear at 9:25 AM on March 26, 2012


Metafilter : IVE SEEN A GROWN MAN GET FUCKED TO DEATH BY A HORSE. you're gonna have to do better than this.

That is probably the best youtube comment ever.

Also, that's not a rifle - it's a shotgun. Looks like a .410 or maybe a 20 gauge. Which would be... well, it wouldn't produce that effect from that range.
posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 9:32 AM on March 26, 2012 [3 favorites]


Wait, there's still a Herman Cain campaign? That's spending money putting out ads?

Why?
posted by Naberius at 9:32 AM on March 26, 2012 [2 favorites]


IVE SEEN A GROWN MAN GET FUCKED TO DEATH BY A HORSE. you're gonna have to do better than this, pizza boy

Best deletion reason ever.
posted by marxchivist at 9:35 AM on March 26, 2012 [18 favorites]


TIM: Well, that's no ordinary rabbit. That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on.
ROBIN: You tit! I soiled my armor I was so scared!
TIM: Look, that rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide, it's a killer!
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 9:36 AM on March 26, 2012 [5 favorites]


As per usual with this sort of thing, the first youtube comment is fucking comedy gold.

I'm seeing "For the love of God, I hope he doesn't make a video about abortions..." which is even better.
posted by straight at 9:36 AM on March 26, 2012 [2 favorites]


Wait, there's still a Herman Cain campaign? That's spending money putting out ads?

Why?


He's not running for President, he's running for Sarah Palin's job. He wants to say stupid shit and have people pay attention to him and give him money. That's better than President.
posted by Legomancer at 9:38 AM on March 26, 2012 [28 favorites]


Samuel Farrow: "God American politics is confusing."

Not if you picture it as a bunch of talentless clowns being manipulated by Machiavellian corporations for the right to rape the world.
posted by Splunge at 9:40 AM on March 26, 2012 [1 favorite]


What do they want viewers to actually do?

STOP ASPLODING AIRBUNNIES. Duh.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 9:41 AM on March 26, 2012


First they came for our goldfish. But I told myself I didn't care, I was not a goldfish. I was merely a Nazi disguised as a goldfish. Then they came for our rabbits. I told myself I didn't care, I was not a rabbit. By that time I was a goldfish and by the time they came for the rabbits they were way past the whole goldfish thing. (Vote Quimby)
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 9:41 AM on March 26, 2012 [7 favorites]


So is this an Elmer Fudd fever dream in which he's given JJ Abrams's gorgeous full head of hair?
posted by shakespeherian at 9:41 AM on March 26, 2012 [4 favorites]


Any chance we could get that youtube link without the link shortener?
posted by Salvor Hardin at 9:43 AM on March 26, 2012 [1 favorite]


I hope I live long enough to see how that girl turns out. My guess that this is not the last time we see her on the internet doing disgusting things to animals.
posted by cjorgensen at 9:45 AM on March 26, 2012


So Herman Cain is now Elmer Fudd?
posted by stormpooper at 9:46 AM on March 26, 2012


You Tube took it down.
posted by Kokopuff at 9:47 AM on March 26, 2012 [1 favorite]


Why?

Isn't there a book coming out soon? Like about some tax code based on numerology?
posted by Jehan at 9:48 AM on March 26, 2012


FYI........
YouTube: "This video has been removed as a violation of YouTube's policy against spam, scams, and commercially deceptive content. Sorry about that."
posted by lampshade at 9:48 AM on March 26, 2012 [3 favorites]


Does this mean that Rachel Maddow is right and Herman Cain is actually a performance artist?
posted by asnider at 9:48 AM on March 26, 2012 [1 favorite]


FYI........
YouTube: "This video has been removed as a violation of YouTube's policy against spam, scams, and commercially deceptive content. Sorry about that."
posted by lampshade at 12:48 PM on March 26 [+] [!]


GOOD!
posted by zizzle at 9:50 AM on March 26, 2012


I have no idea how Mathowie's background scene stand-in double is shooting these rabbits launched by a catapult or why.
posted by infinite intimation at 9:51 AM on March 26, 2012


I also have questions:

Is Godfather Pizza a small business?

In my experience, rabbits don't make much noise, nor do goldfish. When do we get a more realistic ad where the stand-in for Republican small businessmen is incessantly whining before it gets snuffed?
posted by Killick at 9:52 AM on March 26, 2012 [3 favorites]


"This video has been removed as a violation of YouTube's policy against spam, scams, and commercially deceptive content. Sorry about that."


Does this mean it wasn't a real Herman Cain ad?
posted by mikeand1 at 9:53 AM on March 26, 2012 [1 favorite]


The irony is: at this point in the race, a somewhat reputable-looking ad depicting a Republican candidate - any R candidate - advocating sterilization of left-handed children would seem plausible.

This? Pfft. Not even eyebrow-raising.
posted by IAmBroom at 9:56 AM on March 26, 2012


So what the hell happened? Was it spoof or can we start flagging all GOP ads as scams?
posted by cjorgensen at 9:57 AM on March 26, 2012


In my experience, rabbits don't make much noise,
posted by Killick at 12:52 PM on March 26 [+] [!]


You didn't have the fortune of meeting Sir Winston Montgomery Mini-Lop, Esquire before he passed.

Rabbits are capable of many noises, and many of them actually make them.
posted by zizzle at 9:59 AM on March 26, 2012 [2 favorites]


Apparently it's actually Cain's, yes.
posted by Navelgazer at 10:00 AM on March 26, 2012


This morning I was waiting on a call from another site's tech support team, and I ended up drawing a rabbit pouring himself a pitcher of beer. The rabbit represents the middle class, and the beer is America's hopes and dreams; transparent and diluted.
posted by hellojed at 10:03 AM on March 26, 2012 [1 favorite]


Politico has their own copy up. Ick.
posted by maudlin at 10:05 AM on March 26, 2012


From Navelgazer's link:
Later in the program, Cain also attacked Rep. Debbie Wasserman-Schultz (D-Fla.), the chairwoman of the Democratic National Committee, for saying that the Affordable Care Act would improve health insurance access and lower costs. "The lady is telling a lie, Neal, pure and simple," he said.

"Pure and simple, the lady is not too bright," responded Boortz to laughter from Cain, "First of all, why would anyone intentionally try to look like Kenny G with a sex change?"

"Well, that's a good question," Cain said in reply.
No it is not.
posted by deanklear at 10:06 AM on March 26, 2012 [7 favorites]


The ad has been pulled from the link HuffPo gave, too.
posted by merelyglib at 10:06 AM on March 26, 2012


HuffPo was just embedding the YT video: Politico copy.
posted by maudlin at 10:07 AM on March 26, 2012


This can't be real life.
posted by cashman at 10:16 AM on March 26, 2012 [1 favorite]


I'm glad to see The Onion is also sponsoring Cain.
posted by desjardins at 10:24 AM on March 26, 2012


This can't be real life.

It appears to be real. Frame-by-frame analysis of the new Cain video shows that both the girl and the rabbit are puffing on cigarettes.
posted by KokuRyu at 10:34 AM on March 26, 2012


The animal flying through the air is clearly a plush toy that's been poorly green-screened in.

Yes, the ad is bizarre and pointless for many, many reasons (why yes, I do have some questions, little girl, and chief among them is WHAT THE FUCK???), but I'm pretty sure they didn't actually blow that bunny to smithereens.

Then again, maybe they did, and the poorly green-screened plush toy was poorly green-screened in over the actual rabbit, and those are actual rabbit smithereens.

I doubt it, but, jeez, if they're crazy enough to make an ad like this in the first place...
posted by Sys Rq at 10:39 AM on March 26, 2012 [2 favorites]


YouTube: "This video has been removed as a violation of YouTube's policy against spam, scams, and commercially deceptive content. Sorry about that."

The video link in the FPP still works for me: "Herman Cain's latest crazy ad ..."
posted by ericb at 10:40 AM on March 26, 2012


And the video was posted from CainConnection's Youtube Channel.
posted by ericb at 10:43 AM on March 26, 2012


Oh, and one more thing:

Easter is a couple weeks away.
posted by Sys Rq at 10:44 AM on March 26, 2012 [1 favorite]


UPDATE: 1:20 p.m. -- YouTube took down Cain's ad at some point on Monday afternoon. Attempts to view the video now result in a message that says, "This video has been removed as a violation of YouTube's policy against spam, scams, and commercially deceptive content."

While the reason for the removal is unclear, Cain's ad seems to violate YouTube's policy on "Shocking and Disgusting" images:

It’s not okay to post violent or gory content that’s primarily intended to be shocking, sensational or disrespectful. If a video is particularly graphic or disturbing, it should be balanced with additional context and information. For instance, including a clip from a slaughter house in a video on factory farming may be appropriate. However, stringing together unrelated and gruesome clips of animals being slaughtered in a video may be considered gratuitous if its purpose is to shock rather than illustrate.

UPDATE: 1:35 p.m. -- The video appears to have resurfaced on YouTube.
posted by ericb at 10:45 AM on March 26, 2012 [1 favorite]


I lurve the look the shooter gives near the end. He just turns his head and says "yeah, I just shot a flying rabbit that's a metaphor for tax code killing small businesses. Jealous?"
posted by nushustu at 10:45 AM on March 26, 2012 [5 favorites]


Glad someone already noticed the Stephen Colbert imposter.
posted by mrgrimm at 10:46 AM on March 26, 2012


Easter is a couple weeks away.

Man, I can hardly wait for the Christmas version of this ad.
posted by evidenceofabsence at 10:48 AM on March 26, 2012 [1 favorite]


As always, when I see a reference to men being fucked to death by horses, I must mention beautiful, and horsey, Enumclaw, WA--a stallion of a city! Would hate for them to lose their tourist dollars.
posted by maxwelton at 10:48 AM on March 26, 2012 [1 favorite]


The animal flying through the air is clearly a plush toy that's been poorly green-screened in.
"On the "Neal Boortz Show" on Monday morning, Herman Cain clarified to the libertarian radio host that no animals were harmed in his latest ad, which featured a rabbit being shot out of the sky to represent "small business under the current tax code."

'We shot a stuffed animal that looked like a bunny,' Cain told Boortz, who jokingly accused him of killing an actual rabbit.

'But it was screaming!' countered Boortz, causing Cain to laugh as he defended himself. 'It's not real, those are sound effects,' he said."*
posted by ericb at 10:53 AM on March 26, 2012


Yep, it's back. Any questions?
posted by cashman at 10:53 AM on March 26, 2012


Christmas version of this ad.

Mark it: Reindeer being quartered.
posted by drezdn at 10:55 AM on March 26, 2012 [1 favorite]


You know, I own a small business. A really small business - it's me, my husband and our dog. We opened in 2008, right at the start of the recession (yay us!) We're still hanging in there, but I have to keep a part-time job somewhere else for one reason: health insurance. If we had single-payer healthcare, I could quit my part-time Other Job and focus my time and energy on MY business. Mind my own business, literally.

But no. Single-payer healthcare is a pipe dream in the US. If our business ultimately fails, it will be because I can only be there half time. Too many days of my husband carrying the whole burden while I file and organize and serve customers at Someone Else's Business, all because we need health insurance.

I don't understand why so many small business owners are conservative. It's well-trodden ground to say that poor people vote against their interests when they vote Republican, but I believe the same is true for small business owners.
posted by workerant at 11:02 AM on March 26, 2012 [32 favorites]


In my experience, rabbits don't make much noise, nor do goldfish

You've obviously never heard a rabbit cornered by a pack of coyotes. They scream before they go down.

shudder
posted by TungstenChef at 11:10 AM on March 26, 2012


Glad someone already noticed the Stephen Colbert imposter.

How long can it be until FOX starts a TV show with some guy doing everything Stephen Colbert does, except in earnest? Herman Cain is already so close that Colbert argued a vote for Cain should be counted as a vote for Colbert.
posted by straight at 11:10 AM on March 26, 2012 [1 favorite]


apropos of nothing, I just noted that the two users to favorite my upthread comment wondering why Herman Cain is producing ads in the first place are rabbitrabbit, and deathpanels.

The universe has got to be telling me something. I'm just not sure what.
posted by Naberius at 11:10 AM on March 26, 2012 [2 favorites]


If it hadn't been for that man being fucked to death by a horse... I never would have spent that year in college.
posted by Splunge at 11:15 AM on March 26, 2012 [7 favorites]


Yes, I have two questions, actually:

1. Where are your meds?

2. Why have you quit taking them?
posted by Benny Andajetz at 11:16 AM on March 26, 2012 [2 favorites]


As whacked as these videos are, it's true that small businesses get fucked to death by the current tax code.
posted by slogger at 11:18 AM on March 26, 2012 [1 favorite]


Please someone tell me the horse thing isn't real. I mean... the internet is the internet after all but... oh please, say it ain't so.
posted by RolandOfEld at 11:18 AM on March 26, 2012


The sad thing about it is, small business really needs real advocates in politics. Policy direction all over the western world is favouring bigger and bigger conglomerations to the detriment of everybody on the outside. Small business could be a great antidote to that, but...
(it doesn't help that most small business operators have the delusion that they will be one of the big conglomerations one day soon--alas)
posted by Chuckles at 11:21 AM on March 26, 2012


There is in fact video of a man being fucked by a horse. There is also speculation, I believe, that this [don't worry, it's a Wikipedia link] is that same man. To my knowledge there is no extant evidence that they are the same man.
posted by shakespeherian at 11:22 AM on March 26, 2012


The Whelk: "At a certain point it's hard to escape the conclusion that we, the people, are being trolled."

Yes... Yes we are.
posted by symbioid at 11:25 AM on March 26, 2012


I'm at work and not going anywhere near that wiki link, because really: a man+a horse+intercourse until the man dies. Nope, I'm ok going home without seeing anything related to that. That's way beyond get off my lawn, get off my planet pretty much.
posted by RolandOfEld at 11:25 AM on March 26, 2012


Ad guy: "...and then he's naked right? Sitting on a tree stump. We see him swinging a hammer...he's nailing his testicles to the stump! And we have a voiceover of a little girl...a little girl saying...'this is healthcare'...'this is healthcare....any questions?' "

Other ad guy: Have you been getting enough sleep lately?
posted by Xoebe at 11:34 AM on March 26, 2012 [3 favorites]


How long can it be until FOX starts a TV show with some guy doing everything Stephen Colbert does, except in earnest?

I give it -16 years.
posted by Sys Rq at 11:36 AM on March 26, 2012 [5 favorites]


Herman Cain: Not a Jefferson Airplane fan ?
posted by bhance at 11:38 AM on March 26, 2012


A man, a plan, a canal...

A man, a horse, intercourse...?
posted by axiom at 12:36 PM on March 26, 2012 [2 favorites]


I don't understand why so many small business owners are conservative. It's well-trodden ground to say that poor people vote against their interests when they vote Republican, but I believe the same is true for small business owners.

Workerant - I hope you've written every one of your elected representatives with your story. They very much need to hear that the GOP talking points about small business don't speak for all small business owners.
posted by aught at 12:36 PM on March 26, 2012


Oh.Oh my.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 12:44 PM on March 26, 2012 [6 favorites]


Please someone tell me the horse thing isn't real. I mean... the internet is the internet after all but... oh please, say it ain't so.

*sigh*

Paging FatherDagon to the thread.
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 12:47 PM on March 26, 2012


A horse is a horse of course of course.
posted by blucevalo at 12:48 PM on March 26, 2012


LOOK AT MY HORSE
MY HORSE IS AMAZING
posted by The Whelk at 12:49 PM on March 26, 2012


Prediction: Cain's last ad in this series will feature Cain firing himself from a catapult, Angry Birds style.
posted by SPrintF at 12:56 PM on March 26, 2012


I've said it before and I've said it again: insurance should only be legally available on a not-for-profit or non-profit basis. Same for health care in general. There are some things for which attempting to exploit the profit motive for efficiency is not tenable.
posted by flaterik at 12:57 PM on March 26, 2012


Maybe someone should suggest that the next add feature a horse..........
posted by sendai sleep master at 1:01 PM on March 26, 2012


It almost, but not quite, tops the Stock Photo People and Demon Sheep Ad.
posted by CBrachyrhynchos at 1:08 PM on March 26, 2012


RolandOfEld: " Please someone tell me the horse thing isn't real. I mean... the internet is the internet after all but... oh please, say it ain't so."

Rule 34.

shakespeherian: "There is in fact video of a man being fucked by a horse. There is also speculation, I believe, that this [don't worry, it's a Wikipedia link] is that same man. To my knowledge there is no extant evidence that they are the same man."

"Hi, this is Mark in the IT department. Hiya doin' today? Good, good. You apparently raised a flag on our company forbidden content list again this afternoon. Yeah, it's probably nothing, but we have to check. So let's see now. It seems you opened a web page about... oh. Oh my. Jesus wept, what the.... Uh... um... uh... hey, you know what? Don't worry about it. We'll just take this up with your supervisor."
posted by zarq at 1:12 PM on March 26, 2012


You can't see me, but I'm clutching my pearls right now.
posted by RolandOfEld at 1:27 PM on March 26, 2012


Mark in IT is a gentleman and a scholar and has my login and password for every site I waste my pathetic time on, god what a cretinous loser
posted by shakespeherian at 1:30 PM on March 26, 2012 [3 favorites]


Obviously Cain and Santorum both hire the same ad agency obsessed with CGI and insane hyperbole.

My theory is that, after Donnie Darko and losing all that money with Southland Tales, Richard Kelly must be doing business on the side making ads for the GOP in some weird public art project that attempts to out-meta Stephen Colbert.
posted by jonp72 at 2:18 PM on March 26, 2012 [1 favorite]


Teh Crazee® is strong in this one...
posted by Mental Wimp at 5:35 PM on March 26, 2012


oh my i needed a good laugh. several comments made me laugh so hard i cried. thanks herman cain and metafilter!
posted by sio42 at 6:34 PM on March 26, 2012


: a man+a horse+intercourse until the man dies.

If I remember correctly, he died from the perforated colon. (Now, I don't know how long it took for the horse to do that...)
posted by MikeKD at 7:33 PM on March 26, 2012


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