HEAD MAN

March 28, 2012 9:25 AM

No line of unlicensed Star Wars figures is as sought after as the Turkish line known as Uzay. STARS WAR UZAY set includes: Stormtroper, Imperial Stormtoper, Head Man, Chewbacca (Monkey Man), Artoo-Detoo, Imperial T E Fighter Pilot and See-Threep.
posted by timshel (28 comments total)

Starswar!
posted by lostburner at 9:28 AM on March 28, 2012 [1 favorite]

A computer is just a kind of calculator, isn't it?
posted by Jehan at 9:32 AM on March 28, 2012 [7 favorites]

oh shit

Stormtroper

Perfection in infinite variety.
posted by kavasa at 9:33 AM on March 28, 2012 [1 favorite]

I love that C3PO's leg is detached. I know it's an accident, but on these figures it somehow seems more like a feature than a bug.
posted by Mchelly at 9:34 AM on March 28, 2012

Also, is this where I finally get an excuse to post Hardware Wars?
posted by Mchelly at 9:34 AM on March 28, 2012 [2 favorites]

"Stormtroper." Yes. Wonderful.

Is Head Man a re-painted Royal Guard? I mean, they have Royal Guard figures, but I can't place that character.
posted by griphus at 9:34 AM on March 28, 2012

HEAD MAN
posted by timshel at 9:36 AM on March 28, 2012

Also: "See-Threep (C.PO.)"
posted by griphus at 9:38 AM on March 28, 2012

These aren't the action figures you're looking for.
posted by Guy_Inamonkeysuit at 9:39 AM on March 28, 2012 [6 favorites]

Darth Vader (Kötü Lider) translates to 'Bad Leader'
posted by prinado at 9:45 AM on March 28, 2012

Seems legit to me.
posted by Flood at 9:54 AM on March 28, 2012

Clearly these are not "unlicensed Star Wars figures," these are licensed Star Swar figures. It's a totally different market. Uzay?
posted by xigxag at 9:56 AM on March 28, 2012 [2 favorites]

Considering everything, Darth Vader was pretty bad at his job. On his watch, two Death Stars got blown up, there were god knows how many force-choking casualties because he was having a bad day, and the Emperor mysteriously fell into the reactor core.
posted by griphus at 9:56 AM on March 28, 2012 [7 favorites]

Say what you will about Head Man and the Blue Stars, they still made better additions to the canon than those Gungan things Lucas was originally going to use in the prequels.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 9:57 AM on March 28, 2012 [1 favorite]

Is this the thread where we talk about how goddamn awesome Dünyayi Kurtaran Adam (aka Turkish Star Wars) is?

and how it's a travesty that the whole thing isn't up on youtube?
posted by The demon that lives in the air at 9:58 AM on March 28, 2012 [6 favorites]

Do these figures come with Turkish Star Wars Boulder-Crushing Action?
posted by robocop is bleeding at 9:58 AM on March 28, 2012 [2 favorites]

CHEWBACCA IS TRIPPING BALLS!
posted by basicchannel at 10:12 AM on March 28, 2012 [2 favorites]

TRUFAX: Head Man was initially scripted as the leading character in the original Star Wars film. It seemed a natural fit, him being the Head Man in charge of everything, ever. However, owing to his gentle nature and modest wisdom, Head Man ceded the role to cinematic nobodies Hammil and Harrison, and instead went on to establish a quietly successful career hitting a bunch of rocks to an unlicensed John Williams score.
posted by byanyothername at 10:23 AM on March 28, 2012

griphus: Yes, Head Man is a repainted Royal Guard without the cloak. I'm curious where they got the mace and shield accessories to fit with Head Man, though. I'm guessing that they couldn't get a Luke Skywalker character to mold, so they just re-used the Royal Guard.

Of course, according to the article, Head Man might be a one-of-a-kind figure. In my experience, though, the figures you find carded are more likely to be the ones that were either overproduced or unpopular. When I was a kid, it was no fun going to the store and seeing a wall full of Power Droids and Snaggletooths. I would have nabbed a Hoth Han Solo even if the card was thrashed over some figures. So Head Man might have just been really popular with the kids.

These action figures, especially Chewbacca, reminds me of something else.
posted by jabberjaw at 10:44 AM on March 28, 2012 [2 favorites]

To nitpick the linked article, in the Turkish they're not called "Starswar Uzay," they're called "Uzay Savaşçıları," which means "Space Fighters," a predictably generic knock-off equivalent of "Star Wars."

It's a shame these are such shitty digital photos; it'd be amusing (maybe) to see what the literal translations of the characters' names are as well (other than the "Monkey Man" which is given to us; I presume the illegibly fuzzy text in that picture is "Maymun adam"). Oh, the AT Driver looks like "Sürücü," which means "driver," and kind of makes my lazy American mouth feel funny to try to pronounce.
posted by aught at 11:00 AM on March 28, 2012

Monkey Man looks like they've already prepped him for a Robot Chicken appearance.
posted by darkstar at 11:04 AM on March 28, 2012

These are lots of fun. Lucas's universe is overcolonized and canonified, there isn't much room to imagine in its margins anymore, and his special effects budgets are high enough that they're probably flashier than what we could come up with.

These poor rickety, crappy figures need our imaginations to make their worlds better. Let's get started! (thinking awesome thoughts in direction of figures)
posted by JHarris at 11:08 AM on March 28, 2012 [4 favorites]

As they say in Turkey: Kıçına dava için geliyorum!
posted by George Lucas at 11:31 AM on March 28, 2012 [5 favorites]

If I were young enough to make quips about starting a rock band, I'd be considering "Head Man & the Blue Stars" for my group.
posted by aught at 11:50 AM on March 28, 2012 [1 favorite]

These supposedly crappy knock-off action figures seem to be near duplicates of the original 1970s Star Wars figures. I know this because of my age, and because of having the *entire* set of twelve figures. (The lion-headed Chewbacca ... er, "Monkey Man," ... and tin-foil-style R2 are the giveaways.)
posted by kenlayne at 8:11 PM on March 28, 2012 [1 favorite]

What is stranger and more laughable? The fact that adults obsess about collecting pristine examples of children's toys and greatly inflate their perceived value, or that there were quick knock-offs designed for the domestic market of a then third world country that didn't speak english?
posted by wilful at 8:44 PM on March 28, 2012

"What about that calculator?!"
"You worry about those T E fighters, I'll worry about the calculator!!"
posted by TheSecretDecoderRing at 2:49 AM on March 29, 2012 [2 favorites]

Turkish Star Wars (Dünyayi Kurtaran Adam), with English Subtitles (90 mins)

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-7069307816427160377
posted by Sutekh at 5:48 AM on March 31, 2012