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Evie, be careful with those index fingers!
April 12, 2012 12:29 PM   Subscribe

There are some former child celebrities who want to make it crystal clear that they don't side with Kirk Cameron. They're so serious about it, they even have an acronym and matching t-shirts.
posted by orange swan (83 comments total) 51 users marked this as a favorite

 
Would have been cooler if they included a couple of his castmates, but I chuckled.
posted by Renoroc at 12:35 PM on April 12, 2012


I had no idea who Kirk Cameron was and why his opinions matter until this post. Now one of those two questions has been answered. You learn something everyday.
posted by dazed_one at 12:37 PM on April 12, 2012 [1 favorite]


Most of the foundations of civiliation were invented by ancient Greeks.

And we all know what they were getting into

...

EACH OTHER
posted by Doleful Creature at 12:37 PM on April 12, 2012 [9 favorites]


So pleasing to watch professionals do something like this. It's very good.
posted by Anitanola at 12:39 PM on April 12, 2012 [4 favorites]


... penises.
posted by uncleozzy at 12:39 PM on April 12, 2012 [1 favorite]


Oh, fantastic.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 12:41 PM on April 12, 2012


Neil Patrick Harris.
posted by benito.strauss at 12:42 PM on April 12, 2012 [6 favorites]


None of them have lost whatever comedic timing or ability to mug they had as kids. I'm hoping this video leads to them all getting signed to some great projects.
posted by orange swan at 12:42 PM on April 12, 2012 [30 favorites]


I had forgotten that "Charles In Charge" was an actual show. For many years I've simply been using it—and its variant, "Chachi in charge"—to level mockingly at people named Charles. "Smooth move, Charlie! I want you in charge of me!" "Jeeze, Charles doesn't look like he's in charge of that situation at all!"

Come to think of it, I'm not sure I ever even saw the show. Was it any good?
posted by Brak at 12:42 PM on April 12, 2012 [4 favorites]


> Would have been cooler if they included a couple of his castmates, but I chuckled.

Oh, they're not fond of what cute little Mike Seaver has become.
posted by Burhanistan at 12:43 PM on April 12, 2012 [5 favorites]


I didn't recognize anyone and was losing interest when suddenly JOSIE DAVIS HOORAY.
posted by elizardbits at 12:44 PM on April 12, 2012 [4 favorites]


I'm going to give that an 8 on the funny scale.

Needs more Soleil Moon Frye
posted by poe at 12:46 PM on April 12, 2012 [2 favorites]


I appreciated that they, in all fairness, had an opinion on ol' Doogie Howser, too.
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:48 PM on April 12, 2012 [3 favorites]


I lost it at the line 'Why am I holding scissors?'
posted by WinnipegDragon at 12:49 PM on April 12, 2012 [8 favorites]


I didn't recognize anyone and was losing interest when suddenly JOSIE DAVIS HOORAY.

I didn't recognize any of them either, but definitely perked up when she appeared. She purty.

Now, about those scissors, dear...
posted by ShutterBun at 12:49 PM on April 12, 2012


From Burhanistan's linke:

Thicke later tweeted, “I love Kirk but I may have to spank him…’tho not in a gay way!”

Thanks for clarifying, Alan.

Not quite related (though Josh Charles was acting as a teenager):

The Good Wife‘s Josh Charles joked from his page, “I know Growing Pains was only a tv show, but I have to think both Alan Thicke & Joanna Kerns must feel they failed as parents tonight.”

Oh Josh Charles, I just knew you had to be as funny in real life as you are on screen. Also, Alicia Florrick needs her head examined.
posted by orange swan at 12:50 PM on April 12, 2012 [6 favorites]


I love that they did this with such humor!
posted by chatongriffes at 12:53 PM on April 12, 2012


I was hoping for Atheism, but... this is very, very good.
posted by herbplarfegan at 12:55 PM on April 12, 2012


that was funnier than i expected. loved the call out to NPH.
that guy is seriously funny.
posted by sio42 at 12:59 PM on April 12, 2012 [1 favorite]


Love Keith Coogan, grandson of Jackie Coogan.
posted by Melismata at 1:02 PM on April 12, 2012


Come to think of it, I'm not sure I ever even saw [Charles In Charge]. Was it any good?

I kinda dug it. ....Mind you, I was only about eleven.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:04 PM on April 12, 2012


Come to think of it, I'm not sure I ever even saw [Charles In Charge]. Was it any good?

No.
posted by Melismata at 1:05 PM on April 12, 2012 [6 favorites]


Come to think of it, I'm not sure I ever even saw [Charles In Charge]. Was it any good?

I was also young at the time, but one of the funniest sitcom episodes I've ever seen was an episode of that show where Willie Aames (also now a Jesus-freak, if I'm not mistaken) got an excessive sunburn and had to keep throwing glasses of water at his chest to cool off. He ends up intimidating some mobsters or something (?) be being "that screaming red guy who keeps trying to take a drink and missing his mouth!"

Willie Aames comedy and the comely teen daughters on that show made it Must-See viewing for Little Rock Steady.
posted by Rock Steady at 1:10 PM on April 12, 2012 [3 favorites]


I'm glad there are former child actors who didn't turn out goofed in the head.
posted by Edison Carter at 1:11 PM on April 12, 2012 [3 favorites]


I woke up this morning (it's 615AM in Australia, as I type) and had one of those early morning out-of-nowhere thoughts while still in bed where I wondered what ever happened to that kid who played Wesley on "Mr. Belvedere." Boom, here he is. GET OUT OF MY HEAD, METAFILTER.
posted by GamblingBlues at 1:15 PM on April 12, 2012 [10 favorites]


OMG I HAD SUCH A CRUSH ON JEREMY LICHT BACK IN THE DAY

and now I feel very old
posted by Lucinda at 1:15 PM on April 12, 2012 [1 favorite]


If I said "I'd like to hear the opinion on Charles in Charge of everyone who has one, I hope that, if you recognize my handle at all, I've cultivated the kind of reputation that "I'm serious" would go without saying.

Willie Aames is not only a lover of Jesus, he's Bibleman.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 1:18 PM on April 12, 2012 [2 favorites]


Curved towards the face...
posted by Wet Spot at 1:18 PM on April 12, 2012 [2 favorites]


Waiting for Johnny Whitaker to weigh in here.
posted by KokuRyu at 1:20 PM on April 12, 2012 [1 favorite]


Kirk Cameron touched my butt once.

(But I'm female and it wasn't on purpose. How much more fun this would be if I were a guy.)
posted by vitabellosi at 1:23 PM on April 12, 2012 [3 favorites]


Lindsay Lohan: "Who's Kirk Cameron?"
posted by VicNebulous at 1:25 PM on April 12, 2012 [2 favorites]


I had forgotten that "Charles In Charge" was an actual show.

Me too, until a few weeks ago when Kenny Powers said "It's hard to be Charles in Charge when you're not fucking Scott Baio" on Eastbound & Down.
posted by birdherder at 1:26 PM on April 12, 2012 [1 favorite]


All these years I've been conflating "Charles in Charge" with "Who's the Boss?"
posted by deanc at 1:29 PM on April 12, 2012 [1 favorite]


It really annoys me that I think "Kirk Cameron is an idiot" almost every time I peel a banana for my kids.
posted by These Premises Are Alarmed at 1:29 PM on April 12, 2012 [17 favorites]


I'm actually impressed that this was a child star thing that DIDN'T involve Danny Bonaduce or any Bradys. And EVIE! It had Evie!
posted by Madamina at 1:29 PM on April 12, 2012 [3 favorites]


That was gay. And funny. And awesome.

Thank you.
posted by mistersquid at 1:31 PM on April 12, 2012


This made me smile, which is no mean feat given the day I've had :) So endearingly irreverent, uplifting, and genuinely funny. Also, the final line is just so satisfying, somehow.
posted by Dysk at 1:31 PM on April 12, 2012 [1 favorite]


Oh, they're not fond of what cute little Mike Seaver has become.

Okay, this is kind of a derail, but he tags on that article are: "Celebrity Scandals, Gay/Lesbian/Kathy Griffin, Television, Twitter, TV"

At first I thought it was a typo, but no, the 'Gay/Lesbian/Kathy Griffin' tag has been used over 200 times on ew.com. I'm really not sure what to make of that.
posted by jedicus at 1:32 PM on April 12, 2012 [5 favorites]


All these years I've been conflating "Charles in Charge" with "Who's the Boss?"

Jonathan Bower, now there was a kid who probably wasn't straight.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 1:32 PM on April 12, 2012 [1 favorite]


Willie Aames (also now a Jesus-freak, if I'm not mistaken)

He was the original Bibleman.

My favorite Charles In Charge reference was Sgt. Hatred on Venture Bros. trying to assert authority over Hank Venture: "I am full-on Charles In Charge of you!"
posted by JHarris at 1:37 PM on April 12, 2012 [1 favorite]


Funny, maybe, but I had to shut it off pretty quickly. I opened it at work with a student and her little brother in the room. The little brother is 9 and now repeating, "I am a CCOKC."

So, what I am saying here is that a NSFW video warning would have maybe saved my job. I still blame Kirk Cameron though.
posted by daedsiluap at 1:42 PM on April 12, 2012 [4 favorites]


Jonathan Bower, now there was a kid who probably wasn't straight.

Good gaydar! Danny Pintauro came out in 1997.
posted by sevenyearlurk at 1:48 PM on April 12, 2012 [7 favorites]


Jonathan Bower, now there was a kid who probably wasn't straight.

Danny Pintauro, who played Jonathan Bower, went public with the news that he was gay in 1997. I remember being at work when someone in the small room a group of us were working in read out the news from a newspaper. There was a general laugh, and I exclaimed, "Quelle surprise!"

I later learned that the National Enquirer told Pintauro they were going to break the story and asked him if he was willing to be interviewed. He wasn't sure if he should, and Judith Light advised him that he do so because they had to quote him correctly and he might as well have his say. And so he did, and it turned out that the story was written in a very gay positive way and Pintauro was pleased with it. And then he got many, many letters from kids everywhere who said learning that he was gay and had gone public with it had helped them accept being gay and come out of the closet, and he was thrilled about that. Which was pretty sweet.
posted by orange swan at 1:48 PM on April 12, 2012 [25 favorites]


This was pretty damn funny. Kirk ... you're just a dick.
posted by PapaLobo at 1:54 PM on April 12, 2012 [1 favorite]


I would just like to point out that Candice Cameron is just as kooky as her brother.

OMG I HAD SUCH A CRUSH ON JEREMY LICHT BACK IN THE DAY

You're not the only one. (But, man, Mark Hogan really hasn't aged nearly as well as David. *swoon*)

Jonathan Bower, now there was a kid who probably wasn't straight.

In other "duh" news: Darlene Conner. I mean, don't get me wrong; stereotypes suck. But sometimes these things just aren't so surprising, y'know?
posted by Sys Rq at 2:01 PM on April 12, 2012 [2 favorites]


Willie Aames...got an excessive sunburn and had to keep throwing glasses of water at his chest to cool off. He ends up intimidating some mobsters or something (?) be being "that screaming red guy who keeps trying to take a drink and missing his mouth!"

Wow, I haven't thought about this in years, but also I never really stopped thinking about it.
posted by anazgnos at 2:41 PM on April 12, 2012 [9 favorites]


It really annoys me that I think "Kirk Cameron is an idiot" almost every time I peel a banana for my kids.

I hear you, but it helps that I found out it's easier to peel a banana from the "bottom", i.e. not the "tab" side. That way you end up with no mashy banana at the bottom. And it's also the way monkeys do it, apparently. FU KIRK CAMERON YOU WERE WRONG ABOUT THAT GOD BANANA THING

I didn't recognize anyone and was losing interest when suddenly JOSIE DAVIS HOORAY.

Ha! I now feel completely justified in thinking she was the more attractive sister on that show.
posted by jabberjaw at 2:53 PM on April 12, 2012 [4 favorites]


Sadface that "Growing Pains" alum Leonardo DiCaprio did not make an appearance in this! I suspect he's secretly pleased because, like, Hollywood was probably totally circling Kirk Cameron for the lead in J. Edgar until Kirk went all "Gay cooties are an abomination before the Lord!!" so then of course Hollywood was like "Well darn, we just wanted some eighties-hasbeen-flavor in our closeted-historical-G-Man stew, but we don't wanna give the poor man cooties," so they called in Leo the Backup Guy, who did the best he could at being really pretty and also choking on the cooties of kissing boys onscreen. And everybody lived happily ever after except for Kirk Cameron in the depths of his aging child star cranky obscurity. THIS IS WHY YOU CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS, KIRK.
posted by nicebookrack at 3:08 PM on April 12, 2012 [1 favorite]


I enjoyed this, but what worries me is that CCOKC's excellent educational work will go to waste because they lack the starpower of Kirk Cameron and his Jesus freakery. Did they not even try to get Tina Yothers? Malcolm Jamal Warner? Emmanuel Lewis? Jackee? I mean, the '80s was the absolute apex of the family sitcom. That talent pool's deep.
posted by gompa at 3:08 PM on April 12, 2012 [2 favorites]


I now feel completely justified in thinking she was the more attractive sister on that show.

Oh hell yes, she totally was. And now, looking at her wiki article, I am kind of sad to read that "after Charles in Charge wrapped, Davis had a difficult time shedding that [bookish] image and getting people to forget the character she created and to see her as pretty". WTF WORLD SARAH POWELL WAS AWESOME.
posted by elizardbits at 3:09 PM on April 12, 2012 [1 favorite]


Come to think of it, I'm not sure I ever even saw [Charles In Charge]. Was it any good?

one day when I was 10 or so, I stayed home sick from school. my mom left me home alone for an hour to run to the store. while I was watching Charles in Charge, I had a temporal lobe seizure. she came home to me crying at the top of the stairs about how she'd gone around the world! and had been gone 24 hours!
18 years later, even looking at the words Charles in Charge makes me feel sort of nauseous.
posted by changeling at 3:16 PM on April 12, 2012 [5 favorites]


Come to think of it, I'm not sure I ever even saw [Charles In Charge]. Was it any good?

As I recall, Charles in Charge was a formulaic family sitcom with telegraphed by-the-numbers gags delivered by Scott Baio, whose comic timing, as far as I know, has never been named as the key to his success.

That said, it was on the air when my friends and I were in the first deranged throes of puberty, and Scott Baio's love interest was played by Jennifer Runyon, who played a similar roll in the sex-comedy Up the Creek and who basically embodied feathered-hair mid-80s hotness as far as we were concerned, so we were incredibly loyal viewers for a time.
posted by gompa at 3:41 PM on April 12, 2012 [1 favorite]


Chrissy Seaver was the cutest thing ever. Long live Ashley Johnson.
posted by IndigoRain at 3:56 PM on April 12, 2012 [1 favorite]


I fucking love Charles in Charge, and yes, it is terrible. I was happy to see Josie Davis too! Now we just need some Jaleel White, some Robin Givens, and an Olsen twin.
posted by cereselle at 4:03 PM on April 12, 2012


Come to think of it, I'm not sure I ever even saw the show. Was it any good?

All I can say is it was a kid's show and I was a kid, so I watched it. I wasn't very critical at that stage of my life. But as the seasons progressed, I kept wondering: why do these kids even need a nanny? The youngest is like, twelve, and hottie Nicole Eggert is pretty much in college or something. Charles seems superfluous at this stage.
posted by zardoz at 4:34 PM on April 12, 2012


Why is Neil Patrick Harris an asshole? He seems so charming.

Also the out of this world time pause was the best.
posted by djduckie at 4:37 PM on April 12, 2012


Take my fundamentalist brother, (please!) with his "Friends don't let friends watch R rated movies" in my FB feed. (Yes, really)

Instead of seeing this as something really positive, with a good and rational message, he would smirk knowingly because he has been trained (like a seal, a very well dressed seal) to see celebrities as the ultimate liars, with special mind powers. Hollywood liberals "beaming the gay" into the vulnerable minds of the children.

It's hard to find common ground with my brother. He probably has an autographed Kirk Cameron poster that he gives a kiss to every night, his one Hollywood hero who dares to stand up for morality. If only I could shrink this video down to tiny particles and sprinkle it in his Postum...
posted by Grlnxtdr at 4:45 PM on April 12, 2012


Okay, highly amusing video.
posted by rmd1023 at 4:47 PM on April 12, 2012


Why is Neil Patrick Harris an asshole? He seems so charming.

I know, right? And yet he's a hardcore van killer.
posted by longsleeves at 4:53 PM on April 12, 2012 [1 favorite]


In other "duh" news: Darlene Conner.

Heh, her wiki page shows that she is currently in a relationship with Linda Perry.

That feels.....right.
posted by teekat at 4:57 PM on April 12, 2012 [3 favorites]


Charles seems superfluous at this stage.

Scott Baio brought that quality to the role. He always seems extraneous, regardless of what he's doing.
posted by orange swan at 5:10 PM on April 12, 2012 [2 favorites]


Uh, who are these people... and what was Step by Step, anyway?
posted by Yakuman at 5:54 PM on April 12, 2012


and what was Step by Step, anyway?

It was a blatant ripoff of The Brady Bunch featuring Patrick Duffy and Susanne Somers constantly making out. A Miller-Boyett production.
posted by Sys Rq at 6:01 PM on April 12, 2012 [2 favorites]


See a Very Sad Photo From Kirk Cameron's Birthday Party
posted by You Guys Like 2 Party? at 6:13 PM on April 12, 2012


Wow, they're all engaging and funny and have a ton of star appeal and they stepped up fearlessly for their beliefs. I haven't seen this many acting careers revived in a single go since Pulp Fiction.
posted by Slap*Happy at 6:29 PM on April 12, 2012


I haven't seen this many acting careers revived in a single go since Pulp Fiction.

That was the point in the first place.
posted by Yakuman at 7:01 PM on April 12, 2012 [1 favorite]


If Kirk Cameron is not gay, why did he star in all those gay porn films about men who have a fetish for men with one buttock?
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 7:05 PM on April 12, 2012 [1 favorite]


i was the right age to watch step by step and it wasn't good, not even close, but it was pretty damn great for a closeted bisexual girl.

i mean, i had started discovering my same sex attractions during my two dads, so there staci keanan was, angela watson was good eye candy, and christine lakin continued on from my crush on soleil moon frye - weird, tomboy, quirky girls who then got super duper hot. clarissa explains it all was on at the same time. it was a good time to be a 10 year old girl who likes girls.
posted by nadawi at 7:29 PM on April 12, 2012 [3 favorites]


Glad to see Wesley grew up to be so open-minded despite having been molested by his camp counselor.
posted by The Gooch at 8:02 PM on April 12, 2012


Man. I had such a big crush on Tracy Gold.

What's going on now?
posted by Bonzai at 9:25 PM on April 12, 2012 [1 favorite]


Also, Charles in Charge meant that James Widdoes got some work.

...Come on! He was Hoover in Animal House!
posted by Chrysostom at 6:06 AM on April 13, 2012 [2 favorites]


Hoover!
posted by h00py at 6:52 AM on April 13, 2012


Although I believe Kirk Cameron has a right to his opinions and I don't really see the point of them making this video (I mean who cares what Kirk Cameron thinks anyway?)... I thought this video was hilarious. I grew up watching these guys. I hope this can revive their careers...I'd love to see them on TV again!
posted by daydreamer at 8:17 AM on April 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


Man. I had such a big crush on Tracy Gold.

Then you might be interested in watching her in Celebrity Wife Swap (she changes places with Carnie Wilson). Or not.
posted by jabberjaw at 9:12 AM on April 13, 2012


daydreamer: "I mean who cares what Kirk Cameron thinks anyway?"

A lot of people, for some reason. The Tea Party conservatives love the guy, and he gets invited to speak at CPAC every year. His most recent controversial statements were made last month in this CNN interview.

It's not like they're taking cheap shots at an irrelevant celebrity for their own personal gain. Like it or not, Cameron has a very, very large audience.

Normally, smear campaigns leave a bad taste in my mouth, but Cameron deserves this every bit as much as Santorum did.
posted by schmod at 9:18 AM on April 13, 2012 [2 favorites]


sevenyearlurk: "Jonathan Bower, now there was a kid who probably wasn't straight.

Good gaydar! Danny Pintauro came out in 1997.
"

If you ever meet me or my partner in person, remind us to tell you the (probably apocryphal) story about someone who hooked up with Mr. Pintauro and used the phrase "Who's the boss now?!?"

Okay, I ruined the punchline. That's pretty much the story.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 10:29 AM on April 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


kirk isn't just some washed up child actor, though you sort of have to pay attention to the evangelical world to see it. he generally does his activities through the way of the master. he makes preaching to the choir movies. he also gets invited by nightline to debate athiesm.
posted by nadawi at 10:53 AM on April 13, 2012


you sort of have to pay attention to the evangelical world to see it

Yes. A classmate of mine from high school has made the New York Times bestseller list with her recent book, though I bet none of you have ever heard of her. I know I wouldn't have if I didn't know her personally and weren't connected with her on Facebook.
posted by orange swan at 11:27 AM on April 13, 2012


See a Very Sad Photo From Kirk Cameron's Birthday Party

And, lo, did Kirk Cameron then share amongst the crowd of ten to fifteen people standing behind the camera his feast of seven six-inch subs and a tiny chocolate cake. Also, there was a small bottle of orange juice, which was half empty. And the two bored-looking ladies saw that it was a miracle, for all the multitudes did get a sip of the orange juice.
posted by Sys Rq at 11:28 AM on April 13, 2012 [2 favorites]


That just knocked a good twenty years of cobwebs out of my brain that I'd like to have back, please.
posted by PrincessNocturna at 11:47 AM on April 13, 2012


he also gets invited by nightline to debate athiesm.

Yes. Nightline. I hate to break this to you about Nightline these days, but....
posted by JHarris at 11:56 AM on April 13, 2012


nightline is ridiculous - no argument from me. i'm just saying - he's not a nobody has been - he's currently being used as one of the faces of evangelical christianity.

it's like, sure, jenny mccarthy is a playboy playmate from almost 20 years ago. she's also a current mouthpiece for the anti-vaccs crowd. just because the cause isn't legitimate and just because she's a raving idiot doesn't make her any less a current political figure.
posted by nadawi at 12:22 PM on April 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


Anyone notice that the top comment is from Susan Olsen?

Why wasn't I called for this??? Come on, 70s kid actors hate Kirk just as much!

Susan, honey, you and your ringlets are welcome to be in the sequel.
posted by orange swan at 12:49 PM on April 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


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