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April 13, 2012 10:42 AM   Subscribe


 
Anthropomorphism is so 20th Century.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 10:45 AM on April 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


Judge not lest you be judged, baby bear.
posted by drezdn at 10:45 AM on April 13, 2012 [6 favorites]


Listen Sloth, I'm not the one who's named for laziness here.
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 10:46 AM on April 13, 2012 [6 favorites]


Oh good, a chance to post about the most disappointed animal.
posted by HuronBob at 10:46 AM on April 13, 2012 [16 favorites]


How can I make you happy, number 20? Scritches?
posted by drezdn at 10:46 AM on April 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


OK, I'm high out of my mind, browsing r/awww, and all of these cute animals know I totally blew off the deadline for tomorrow's blog post, I mean, I haven't even started, and they know, and they're so beautiful and I'm sure they know I'm a stoner slacker loser and hey, I've got an idea!
posted by Slap*Happy at 10:48 AM on April 13, 2012 [4 favorites]


This is pretty clearly lifted from my friend Sharon's blog "Disapproving Rabbits."
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 10:49 AM on April 13, 2012 [7 favorites]


Dammit Blue-jay, I did my best! You don't even have fingers. I'd like to see you try and write all those exams.
posted by Kevin Street at 10:50 AM on April 13, 2012


Fine, fine, #32, I will finally wash the windows this weekend. Sheesh.
posted by Iosephus at 10:51 AM on April 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


This stork busted his hump, and for what?
posted by Iridic at 10:51 AM on April 13, 2012 [4 favorites]


Bunny Ultramod, you'll note that #15 is indeed the late, great Cinnamon. Sharon linked to the list the other day (which where I found it).
posted by tommasz at 10:51 AM on April 13, 2012


And the orangutan is a hypocrite. I see that Kong.
posted by workerant at 10:53 AM on April 13, 2012


I never realized how much I needed a Corgi before.
posted by Curious Artificer at 10:55 AM on April 13, 2012 [12 favorites]


Yay Corgis!
posted by rmd1023 at 10:57 AM on April 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


#17 is easily the best.
posted by shakespeherian at 10:58 AM on April 13, 2012


This Mefite is disappointed they didn't search a little further afield and include a picture of a Tibetan Sand Fox.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:58 AM on April 13, 2012 [27 favorites]


Also, #21 is the STERNEST OTTER EVAR.
posted by rmd1023 at 11:01 AM on April 13, 2012 [2 favorites]


Listen, otter, I made it five hundred pages into Infinite Jest, and if by that point I can't even find a hint of plot, nevermind the writer fucking mocking me the reader with empty wild-goose chases all the fucking time, brilliant work of genius or no -- me and that book are done.

I take a lot from you, otter, but I won't have that.
posted by Capt. Renault at 11:02 AM on April 13, 2012 [11 favorites]


Aw, Cinnamon.
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 11:05 AM on April 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


Oh come on, the Tibetan Sand Fox is not real. That's not a real thing. Someone photoshopped Andrew Jackson on there.

"This Tibetan Sand Fox is very disappointed that you stood idly by in the face of Chinese oppression and/or put him on the Twenty Dollar Bill."
posted by The Bellman at 11:07 AM on April 13, 2012 [10 favorites]


Oh, cool. I saw this on my mother-in-law's facebook feed two days ago.
posted by crunchland at 11:07 AM on April 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


I hope you 'liked' it because it's goddam awesome.
posted by shakespeherian at 11:09 AM on April 13, 2012 [12 favorites]


I take a lot from you, otter, but I won't have that.

True story: I spent a month smoking Parliaments and reading Infinite Jest, and promptly gave both up because they just didn't make me feel well.
posted by uncleozzy at 11:10 AM on April 13, 2012 [5 favorites]


Hey! I just put it on my facebook feed! Maybe your mother-in-law will see it again!
posted by Curious Artificer at 11:10 AM on April 13, 2012


Oh come on, the Tibetan Sand Fox is not real. That's not a real thing.

The Tibetan Sand Fox is very disappointed that you're so skeptical.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:11 AM on April 13, 2012 [6 favorites]


I never realized how much I needed a Corgi before.

Don't fall for it, man. That Corgi endorsement is when this internet meme jumped my angry shark.

You think that Corgi's glad to see you? You think it's got pure love in its heart? You fool. That Corgi's got an implant chip behind its right ear wired straight to MI-6, and it's reporting back to the Queen on everything you're doing.

The Empire may be mostly gone, but as long as there are Corgis out there, deluding the soft-hearted among us, the Windsors will continue to maintain their steely grip on the reins of control.
posted by gompa at 11:12 AM on April 13, 2012 [9 favorites]


The owl at #26 should mind his own damn business.
posted by Splunge at 11:14 AM on April 13, 2012 [4 favorites]


I'm really sorry, otter.
Fuck you, toad.
Look, orangutan, you're not one to talk. I'll stop with the candy bars when you stop drinking your own pee, ok?
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 11:20 AM on April 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


#32 is actually saying "if you believe the corgi, I will have even less respect for you." that cat is unimpressed with all of us.
posted by GenjiandProust at 11:21 AM on April 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


Oh yeah? Well...I'm disappointed in that sloth's haircut. A "Justin Bieber"? Really? Don't be a slave to trends, sloth.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 11:22 AM on April 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


Dear MetaFilter:

Thank you.
Thank you so much and for so many things.
But today, thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for the Tibetan Sand Fox.

Love, The Bellman.
posted by The Bellman at 11:25 AM on April 13, 2012 [5 favorites]


Animals Silently Judging You In All Caps.
posted by The Whelk at 11:26 AM on April 13, 2012




Don't anthropomorphize animals. They hate that.

(I love this line but can't remember where I heard it. If nobody else can remember it do I get to keep it?)
posted by Infinity_8 at 11:26 AM on April 13, 2012 [10 favorites]


This cuttlefish wonders why you keep rubbing up on people in the subway.
posted by Renoroc at 11:29 AM on April 13, 2012 [1 favorite]




I find the anthropomophization of animals in order to inflict shame on us really poorly ....

... what was that, Corgi? I'm fine the way I am? Thanks!
posted by jabberjaw at 11:34 AM on April 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


Anybody got anything bad to say about corgis, you can deal with ME first.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 11:34 AM on April 13, 2012






This cuttlefish wonders why you keep rubbing up on people in the subway.

So when I was in Hong Kong there was a street-side vendor selling something called "Butter Cuttle," and it was grilled cuttlefish on a stick, and it looked so delicious. But I was on my way to dinner and I didn't want to ruin my appetite, so I didn't eat it. Not eating a grilled butter-cuttle is probably my biggest regret about my visit to Hong Kong.
posted by jabberjaw at 11:38 AM on April 13, 2012 [3 favorites]


"The horse looks disappointed, but not because it received bad news. it looks more like it was disappointed because it had high expectations in life that have remained unfulfilled."
posted by usonian at 11:42 AM on April 13, 2012


Don't anthropomorphize animals. They hate that.

They might. You'd have to ask them, but if it prevents us from seeing them in their natural patterns of behavior it isn't particularly good for them or for us or for their natural environment. Dolphins and orcas and elephants are so fascinating as themselves instead of circus performers, yet we hardly know them. And it is interesting, considering how many MetaFilter posts are deleted, that the cute, anthropomorphic animal posts always make it through the filter. You can just Google and get a million of these if you want.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 11:44 AM on April 13, 2012


even worse is caninepomorphizing ducks.
posted by HuronBob at 11:45 AM on April 13, 2012 [12 favorites]


even worse is caninepomorphizing ducks.

That reminds me of Ocarina of Time for some reason.
posted by drezdn at 11:47 AM on April 13, 2012


even worse is caninepomorphizing ducks.

No, that's good for them. Natural selection. It helps protect them from predators. Somebody out there on the internet probably thinks they've invented this, along with owl eyes on moths.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 11:51 AM on April 13, 2012 [2 favorites]


Take another look at #19 and tell me how that doesn't look exactly like two people in penguin suits. I mean look at the wings, they look just like cloth-covered arms!

And yes, corgi wins.
posted by JHarris at 11:53 AM on April 13, 2012


(Although, it's technically only 32 animals that are extremely disappointed in you. Demand truth in blog post titles!)
posted by JHarris at 11:54 AM on April 13, 2012 [3 favorites]


Right now this really is the very best of the web.
posted by ciderwoman at 11:57 AM on April 13, 2012


I see your sand fox and raise you this Pallas's cat.
posted by wreckingball at 12:14 PM on April 13, 2012 [12 favorites]


Well excuse me!
posted by essexjan at 12:24 PM on April 13, 2012 [25 favorites]


I READ INFINITE JEST TWICE OTTER, GOSH LEAVE ME ALONE.
posted by sonika at 12:37 PM on April 13, 2012


Is it okay to tell pictures of animals to go fuck themselves?
posted by repoman at 12:44 PM on April 13, 2012


Pallas's cat thinks it's pathetic how you dropped your cargo at the first sight of an Imperial starship.
posted by saturday_morning at 12:50 PM on April 13, 2012 [4 favorites]


This otter is disappointed that you never finished Infinite Jest.

That otter isn't as smart as he thinks he is, and would be looking even more pissed off if he'd been around for me to hurl "Infinite Jest" at instead of the boring old wall I actually hurled it at.
posted by Decani at 12:55 PM on April 13, 2012


Corgi just tells you that because he wants to hump your leg.
posted by LordSludge at 12:59 PM on April 13, 2012 [2 favorites]


2, 6, 7, 11, 12 and 14 really got my number.
posted by MartinWisse at 1:04 PM on April 13, 2012




I take a lot from you, otter, but I won't have that.

This was the working title for that Meatloaf song.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 1:15 PM on April 13, 2012 [7 favorites]


no caption required
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:42 PM on April 13, 2012 [1 favorite]



I want a Clark bar!

 
posted by Herodios at 2:00 PM on April 13, 2012


I can't believe I let Slow Loris down again. I feel like such a horrible person. Again.
posted by Ghidorah at 3:04 PM on April 13, 2012


(Although, it's technically only 32 animals that are extremely disappointed in you. Demand truth in blog post titles!)

No. The corgi is also deeply disappointed in you, but then he's that sort of hypocritical dog who will tell you it's all OK, just so everyone can get along. He's not really your friend; he just pretends to be. I am disappointed in you for falling for it.
posted by GenjiandProust at 3:30 PM on April 13, 2012 [2 favorites]


These animals have a perfect right to be disappointed with humans....especially the domesticated ones...I mean, don't you think the Animal Kingdom, in general feels pretty meh about the
"higher" species at this point? An when an animal looks down on you, you know you've been looked down on.
posted by eggtooth at 3:53 PM on April 13, 2012


The octopus would like to put a stop to us.
posted by Sailormom at 4:01 PM on April 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


I now need two monitors to determine whether #20 or #21 would win in a stare-down.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 4:26 PM on April 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


#2 is posted in my local dive shop with the LOLCaption "NEUTRAL BUOYANCY TURTLE DISAPPROVES OF YOUR FLAILING."

It's perfect.
posted by eugenen at 5:12 PM on April 13, 2012 [2 favorites]




I do not recognize my family and friends when I encounter them unexpectedly, but when I got to #15 I shrieked 'That's CINNAMON!' in disapproval of the unaccredited cameo of... well, disapproval.
posted by winna at 6:40 PM on April 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


I'm going to put that baby bear up in my office at work. Possibly also the Boston terrier.
posted by SMPA at 7:09 PM on April 13, 2012


Yeah, well fuck all those guys anyway!
posted by briank at 7:12 PM on April 13, 2012


These animals have a perfect right to be disappointed with humans....

They can bite me.
posted by shothotbot at 7:52 PM on April 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


They might; one of them is a lion.
posted by JHarris at 10:01 PM on April 13, 2012


Look, Toad, don't say a damn thing about my drinking until you've hopped a mile in my shoes.
posted by Infinity_8 at 1:21 PM on April 14, 2012


This honey badger says that you just take what you want.
posted by Lipstick Thespian at 6:35 PM on April 14, 2012


That pony is disappointed nobody corrected everyone who said he was a horse.
posted by subbes at 8:52 AM on April 15, 2012


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