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And the Walls Came Tumbling Down, Again
April 24, 2012 9:23 AM   Subscribe

Lessons in the Art of Pillow Fort Construction "Tether your sheets and blankets securely, but try not to get too attached yourself."

How To Build A Great Blanket Fort, Blanket Fort Birthday Party.
posted by ColdChef (22 comments total) 15 users marked this as a favorite

 
I'm sorry your authority is not recognized here in Fort Kickass.
posted by The Whelk at 9:28 AM on April 24, 2012 [11 favorites]


I called it a tepee when I wrapped the bedcover around three broomsticks in the garden but then again, I'm Indian.
posted by infini at 9:31 AM on April 24, 2012


The little Creatures are only 1.5 and 3.5 at the moment, but we've already started some (admittedly crude) blanket-fort building, and my skills have waned after about 20 years of non-use. The second article was especially useful.

Is it weird that I'm totally planning on buying some PVC pipe to build movable scaffolding for future fort adventures? Is it weird that I'm also considering buying a bunch of "camping foam" mattresses, cutting them into bricks and making little brick or stone patterned fabric covers so we can have stackable brick walls? Is it weird that instead of doing actual work sometimes I just sit at my desk and dream of the perfectly constructed Megablanket Fort 9000, and I get a little misty eyed? Conversely, maybe I'm not trying hard enough? I am, after all, trying to win that world's greatest dad mug. They don't just give those away you know.
posted by Doleful Creature at 9:33 AM on April 24, 2012 [5 favorites]


The dream of New Fluffytown reborn.
posted by maryr at 9:36 AM on April 24, 2012 [13 favorites]


No mention of dogfort?
posted by ceribus peribus at 9:43 AM on April 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


Super-awesome pillow fort architecture lesson I learned as a kid:

A box-style floor fan at one end of the pillow fort not only provides ventilation, but it also keeps any sheets used as roofing from sagging and (perhaps most importantly) makes your voice sound badass when you talk through it to people outside the fort.
posted by kaseijin at 9:44 AM on April 24, 2012 [10 favorites]


I think what Patton had to say about this is appropriate. "No bastard ever won a war by building a pillow fort for his country. He won it by destroying the other poor dumb bastard's pillow fort."
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 9:46 AM on April 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


When you grow up in a family of ten kids, forts become very important.. My favorite was old sheets wrapped over the grape arbor which became a no-go zone for little sisters who wanted to interrupt my reading. Thus I could still follow my mother's orders to get outside in "fresh air" but still keep my nose in a book.
posted by Isadorady at 9:46 AM on April 24, 2012


Every fort I've ever built was ultimately destroyed by cats trying to sleep on top of them. Yet no where in these three articles is the threat given mention. Clearly, the conclusion is obvious. All three of these articles were written by cats.
posted by TwelveTwo at 9:49 AM on April 24, 2012 [6 favorites]


Remember, if you have to chase someone through the Turkish district, don't do it on Latvian Independence Day.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 9:52 AM on April 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


The dream of New Fluffytown reborn.

The Legit Republic of Blanketsburg scoffs at your revanchist dream.
posted by steambadger at 9:54 AM on April 24, 2012 [4 favorites]


I'm highly disturbed by the level of parental involvement encouraged by these articles.

People over the age of 12 (possible partial exception for cool uncles / older cousins) should. not. be. involved in the construction of pillow forts and should at best be off doing grownup things like drinking tea or making small talk with neighbors. Maybe, MAYBE they give a quick engineering suggestion when there is danger of an imminent emotional breakdown caused by overly heavy roofing materials. Maybe.
posted by tivalasvegas at 9:59 AM on April 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


The Legit Republic of Blanketsburg scoffs at your revanchist dream.

The residents of New Fluffytown won't compromise craftsmanship to placate mediocrity!
posted by Talez at 10:01 AM on April 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


Also, what are the children of the future going to use for anchoring materials now that the encyclopedias are gone?
posted by tivalasvegas at 10:02 AM on April 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


tivalasvegas, what if the parent is building a rival fort from which to lob rolled-up socks at his kids' fort? Not that would ever do something like that, I'm uhh, asking for a friend.
posted by Doleful Creature at 10:05 AM on April 24, 2012 [5 favorites]


The college-aged kid, his little brother, their friends and girlfriend constructed an impressive blanket fort over Spring Break. I'll have to get a picture from one of them for this thread.

Because fort-building is cool.

As are train tracks and construction kits and other imaginative pursuits. I really miss the days of getting down on the rug with my boys and building serpentine train tracks looping up, around and under our Duplo and Imaginext and Lego towns, peopled with Fisher Price guys and zoo animals. Because we liked rhinos back then, and ever town must have zoo animal friends to keep the rhinos from getting lonely.

Oh, and the Marble Works races we ran against each other were epic! We'd add blocks to the bases and build the tunnels up on chairs...

And then were the fearsome battles. Boys love play battles.

Green plastic military guys beseiged on both sides by Jurassic Park dinosaurs and legions of Imaginext ghosts, wizards and skeletons. We'd find military guys strategically placed around the house for days afterward--up on the spice cabinet, for the high ground advantage and spotting those enemies early on; under the bed and hiding behind the sofa, ready to spring into action and ambush the enemy flank; little green guys camouflaged among the green bath towels and the artificial flowers...

Star Wars Jedi and Sith, wielding light sabers, fought side-by-side to take down Gandalf, Legolas, and assorted LOTR bad guys from orcs to trolls, to take the fantasy/sci-fi movie action-figure Ultimate Domination title.

Jabba the Hutt vs the Jurassic Park T-Rex, to TO THE DEATH!

Damn it. Now I want another kid to play with me.
posted by misha at 10:05 AM on April 24, 2012 [2 favorites]


what if the parent is building a rival fort from which to lob rolled-up socks at his kids' fort?

This is acceptable, even laudable. Of course, in this circumstance providing technical or material aid to the progeny would be as foolhardy as if, say, the US were to fund Osama bin Laden's terrorist group in the 1980s.

You hate America, don't you?
posted by tivalasvegas at 10:14 AM on April 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


A brilliant synergy between the weighted foundation and the light tensile structure, this project impressed us with its attenuation of structure and bright interior spaces. The courtyard and formal entry are also well thought-out and provide a clear means of way-finding.

Couch Cushion Architecture: A Critical Analysis
posted by JoeZydeco at 10:23 AM on April 24, 2012 [2 favorites]


Protip: illuminate the inside of your fortress with Christmas lights and use these to secure the blankets to stationary objects (bookshelves, tables, sleeping grandparents)
posted by ColdChef at 10:23 AM on April 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


I'm a Sherlock Holmes fan, particularly fond of his weird adorkable moments. And one of my very favorite is from "The Man with the Twisted Lip," wherein the great detective solves the mystery by building himself a thinky pillow fort:
It was soon evident to me that he was now preparing for an all-night sitting. He took off his coat and waistcoat, put on a large blue dressing-gown, and then wandered about the room collecting pillows from his bed and cushions from the sofa and armchairs. With these he constructed a sort of Eastern divan, upon which he perched himself cross-legged, with an ounce of shag tobacco and a box of matches laid out in front of him. In the dim light of the lamp I saw him sitting there, an old briar pipe between his lips, his eyes fixed vacantly upon the corner of the ceiling, the blue smoke curling up from him, silent, motionless, with the light shining upon his strong-set aquiline features. So he sat as I dropped off to sleep, and so he sat when a sudden ejaculation caused me to wake up, and I found the summer sun shining into the apartment. The pipe was still between his lips, the smoke still curled upward, and the room was full of a dense tobacco haze, but nothing remained of the heap of shag which I had seen upon the previous night.
posted by nicebookrack at 10:51 AM on April 24, 2012 [2 favorites]


We should start a betting pool as to whether this thread, or the Community College thread, will contain more Community references by the end of the day.
posted by hincandenza at 11:52 AM on April 24, 2012 [3 favorites]


Is it weird that I'm also considering buying a bunch of "camping foam" mattresses, cutting them into bricks and making little brick or stone patterned fabric covers so we can have stackable brick walls?

Protip: We used to use these, covered with stuff I had drawn stone patterns on, or these.
posted by misha at 4:14 PM on April 24, 2012


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