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Can I be the little spoon?
April 28, 2012 6:41 PM   Subscribe

Bon Iver is standing in the snow with his shirt off, just listening.[SLTumblr]

Bon Iver Erotic Stories: SFW, for the most part.
posted by FirstMateKate (38 comments total) 20 users marked this as a favorite

 
I think one of my friends is headed to his studio as we speak.

I should send this to him to make things awkward.
posted by louche mustachio at 6:49 PM on April 28, 2012 [4 favorites]


Does Bon Iver like Cling-Film?
posted by ennui.bz at 7:03 PM on April 28, 2012 [9 favorites]


These are genius, though they're at their best when they don't lean on the "lol hipster commercialism" crutch.
posted by invitapriore at 7:12 PM on April 28, 2012


This is hilarious. Really well done.
posted by ThatCanadianGirl at 7:15 PM on April 28, 2012


Ha, that's funny.
posted by chococat at 7:18 PM on April 28, 2012


Bon Iver is a band. These are photos of Justin Vernon.

I guess it's confusing to me. It's like if there was a photo of Geddy Lee eating ice cream and the caption read RUSH LOVES MINT CHIP.
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 7:35 PM on April 28, 2012 [8 favorites]


Justin Vernon is fourth on my list of hipster singer song writers i would perform outdoor fellatio with. I can share the rest of the list, if you would like.
posted by PinkMoose at 7:38 PM on April 28, 2012 [3 favorites]


Just let me know whose is twenty-eighth.
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 7:42 PM on April 28, 2012


I can share the rest of the list, if you would like.
Only if the list is in tumblr form.
posted by arsey at 7:43 PM on April 28, 2012 [3 favorites]


It's like if there was a photo of Geddy Lee eating ice cream and the caption read RUSH LOVES MINT CHIP.

I... kinda want to start a Tumblr like that now. Nothing but pictures of David Lee Roth and the blog title will be Van Halen is a Pretty Cool Guy and Eh Doesn't Afraid of Anything.
posted by jason_steakums at 7:50 PM on April 28, 2012 [15 favorites]


Bon Iver must have known I would wear his workshirts to bed while he was away. He left me gifts in the breast pocket of each - a tiny shell, a dried flower, a pinecone.

That's just fucking genius.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 8:09 PM on April 28, 2012 [12 favorites]


Bon Iver is a band. These are photos of Justin Vernon.

I guess it's confusing to me. It's like if there was a photo of Geddy Lee eating ice cream and the caption read RUSH LOVES MINT CHIP.


I think it's fairly safe to assume that that's a good portion of the joke here.
posted by item at 8:32 PM on April 28, 2012 [7 favorites]


Whoa. Sexy. Does he really have the Pythagorean Theorem tattooed on the inside of his upper arm like that?
posted by XMLicious at 8:52 PM on April 28, 2012


I saw Vernon last Saturday. He's shaved his beard off.
posted by anigbrowl at 8:54 PM on April 28, 2012


Fantastic. Thanks.
posted by You Should See the Other Guy at 9:03 PM on April 28, 2012


Are these the horny thoughts of Zoey Deschanel's character from New Girl?

Oh Jess - you want me to pretend to be Bon Iver, AGAIN? Okay - then you be Feist.
posted by helmutdog at 9:26 PM on April 28, 2012 [2 favorites]


This morning, after our passionate and tender lovemaking, Bon Iver brought me fresh-brewed coffee in a mug he’d carved out of the branch of a tree that fell in the wind. I sipped it while he hummed and assembled his ice-fishing gear.

This is why the internet exists.
posted by arcticseal at 9:33 PM on April 28, 2012 [6 favorites]


That's one soulful-looking orange knitted cap you've got there.
posted by Harvey Kilobit at 9:35 PM on April 28, 2012 [1 favorite]


Bon Iver is a band. These are photos of Justin Vernon.

Sure, that is probably part of the joke here.

But Justin Vernon is Bon Iver, like Sam Beam is Iron & Wine. It's not a full band photo they put beside reviews of Bon Iver music…
posted by blastrid at 9:58 PM on April 28, 2012


Yesterday we adopted a Siberian husky puppy. We committed to feeding him a locavore diet and loving him forever. Bon Iver fitted a sidecar to his cold-war motorcycle so the dog can accompany him to the lake.

We named him Homespun.


Justin, Husky, motorcycle, lake = Sploosh!

[ I'm going to assume he's wearing a flannel shirt to complete this erotic picture. ]
posted by honey-barbara at 10:38 PM on April 28, 2012


God, sometimes I love the internet.
posted by apricot at 11:27 PM on April 28, 2012


God, sometimes I am so confused by the internet.
posted by Mezentian at 12:15 AM on April 29, 2012


I keep thinking its the guy from ac/dc.
posted by sgt.serenity at 2:46 AM on April 29, 2012 [3 favorites]


Harvey Kilobit: Damn straight, that's a soulful-looking orange knitted hat. A soulful-looking orange knitted cap that I MADE, thank you very much.

Best damned finished object photo EVER
posted by pxe2000 at 5:22 AM on April 29, 2012 [2 favorites]


I pictured Justin Timberlake as Bon Iver in all of these. And then Bon Iver showed up, handed me a piece of sloughed tree bark, telling me wordlessly that it was as thick as his skin - then left to put fallen baby birds back in their nests, after covering me with his least-favourite flannel shirt. I remained on my sofa feeling regretful and drinking my ham water while petting my cat.
posted by peagood at 7:09 AM on April 29, 2012 [2 favorites]


Who's Bonny Bear?
posted by fuq at 8:03 AM on April 29, 2012


drinking my ham water

what
posted by elizardbits at 8:09 AM on April 29, 2012


drinking my ham water

i think you mean hot ham water.
posted by ruhroh at 8:12 AM on April 29, 2012 [2 favorites]


Justin Vernon is fourth on my list of hipster singer song writers i would perform outdoor fellatio with. I can share the rest of the list, if you would like.

I'm just curious if you have a list for indoor fellatio, also.
posted by octobersurprise at 8:14 AM on April 29, 2012 [4 favorites]


I love this and it finally explains my Bon Ivar deafness. My musical coming of age and current listening catalog should accommodate Bon Ivar, but I can't get all the way through a single song on any album. I don't think the author of this tumblr could make this and not love Bon Ivar, which is what makes it so good and so funny, but for me it is a kind of meta-analysis of Bon Ivar (band) that captures what my deal is. Namely, that more than I want 40 minutes of cunnilingus that inspires songwriting, I want the band equivalent of the lover who will volunteer to call the pizza order in expressly so I can be pathologically socially avoidant.
posted by rumposinc at 11:01 AM on April 29, 2012 [1 favorite]


i do have an indoor list, but there is a bit of an overlap.
posted by PinkMoose at 11:49 AM on April 29, 2012


WHAT IS HAM WATER SOMEONE TELL ME
posted by elizardbits at 3:41 PM on April 29, 2012


I love both this and Bon Iver.
posted by !Jim at 3:58 PM on April 29, 2012


I don't get these "pics of some maybe famous guy and copy about how sexy they are" tumblrs. I don't get it, so get off my lawn.
posted by clvrmnky at 8:10 AM on April 30, 2012


This is a goldmine! I can't wait to annoy the shit out of my girlfriend with this stuff!
posted by orme at 9:15 AM on April 30, 2012


elizardbits: This is a lousy edit, but it'll show you the origin.
posted by CaseyB at 9:30 AM on April 30, 2012 [1 favorite]


Bon Iver is just one of those things I do not get and will not try to understand. But I can't help but wonder why he is standing in so many fields of tall grass.
posted by mrgrimm at 3:03 PM on April 30, 2012


mrgrimm:


“Never let a photographer take you outside. That just means he has a tree he wants to take a picture of and he needs someone to stand in front of it. You don’t see Madonna out in fuckin’ cornfields!”
— Paul Westerberg
posted by peagood at 5:25 PM on April 30, 2012 [3 favorites]


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