Comments on: What Could Go Wrong?

What Could Go Wrong?

swift — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 07:33:25 -0800

Australian billionaire Clive Palmer has commissioned a Chinese shipyard to build Titanic II, a modernized replica of the unsinkable Titanic.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 07:37:13 -0800

I'm fairly sure that Iceberg II was finished some time ago.

By: flapjax at midnite

flapjax at midnite — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 07:37:34 -0800

Sounds good. Let's follow it up with a replica of the Costa Concordia, shall we? I hear the captain of that one needs a job...

By: Jon_Evil

Jon_Evil — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 07:38:42 -0800

He added that he had invited the Chinese navy to escort the Titanic II to New York. This just went from stupid to weird and stupid.

By: The Card Cheat

The Card Cheat — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 07:38:49 -0800

This one is going to be an icebreaker and will do nothing but ram the shit out of icebergs.

By: entropicamericana

entropicamericana — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 07:39:53 -0800

Yes, I am sure this replica will totally happen, unlike all the other replicas proposed in the last 15 years. And I am sure that the replica would still vaguely resemble the Titanic once it is modified virtually top to bottom, stem to stern, to meet SOLAS standards.

By: fight or flight

fight or flight — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 07:40:17 -0800

This one is going to be an icebreaker and will do nothing but ram the shit out of icebergs. "My name is Titanic II. You sank my predecessor. Prepare to die."

By: Thorzdad

Thorzdad — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 07:41:19 -0800

Next up, a cross-country trek christened Donner II.

By: Johnny Assay

Johnny Assay — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 07:41:32 -0800

The precedents do not look good.

By: inturnaround

inturnaround — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 07:43:57 -0800

Hey, Fate! Yeah, you! FUCK YOU! What could possibly go...OH THE HUMANITY!

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 07:44:05 -0800

Titanic II: The Titanticing.

By: COBRA!

COBRA! — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 07:44:23 -0800

I say if you're going to do this, go all-in and make everything 100% period-accurate. Build the hull out of steel made with 1912 metallurgy. Engines have to be mad entirely to 1912 specs. Radar? Nope. Satellite navigation? Nope. You can have a radio, but your Morse better be up to snuff. Lifeboats? You can have a few...

By: Segundus

Segundus — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 07:45:20 -0800

Just in time for the 104th anniversary.

By: jquinby

jquinby — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 07:47:15 -0800

I hope this doesn't interfere with my plans to send Hindenburg II: The Hindenburger aloft

By: KokuRyu

KokuRyu — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 07:47:15 -0800

Australian billionaire Clive Palmer I've never heard of this guy. Somebody ought to create billionaire trading cards or something, or maybe billionaire posters that you can buy in the teen section of Target and pin to your bedroom wall. There has to be a better way to keep track of all these billionaires.

By: Faint of Butt

Faint of Butt — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 07:47:17 -0800

How much more would it cost to build and launch a replica of Apollo 11 instead?

By: DU

DU — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 07:47:30 -0800

Yeah, the timing of this project, and the announcement, are the weirdest thing to me. Why start NOW rather than 4 years ago? Maybe he wasn't a billionaire yet. But at the very least, why not announce the project 3 weeks ago, when the anniversary was current news?

By: lesbiassparrow

lesbiassparrow — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 07:47:37 -0800

I have a feeling that there won't be too many people opting for steerage.

By: Horace Rumpole

Horace Rumpole — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 07:48:08 -0800

You people have it all wrong. This is what billionaires are for. I just wish he was a Star Trek fan.

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 07:48:09 -0800

The only proper way to do this would be to dress only in period outfits, affect only period manners, and demand all your guests do the same. And never leave the ship, just stopping for refueling and supplies like some sad strange floating world cut off from time and drifting forever in a seafoam bubble, lost in time, lost in space.

By: flapjax at midnite

flapjax at midnite — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 07:48:36 -0800

Well, the first sinking inspired some mighty good songs*, so maybe this one will, too! *full disclosure: this is a page from my website

By: DU

DU — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 07:48:53 -0800

There has to be a better way to keep track of all these billionaires. It's super simple. They are the guys not on the tax registers.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 07:49:41 -0800

Hindenburg II: The Hindenburger Is it wrong that this makes me imagine a fast-food tie-in?

By: notmydesk

notmydesk — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 07:49:56 -0800

God, how many people are going to stand up front screaming "I'M KING OF THE WORLD WOOOOO-WOOOOO." The horror. The horror.

By: avoision

avoision — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 07:51:56 -0800

Why is everyone talking about this like it's a real ship? It's a movie, it didn't really... wait, what?

By: swift

swift — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 07:52:56 -0800

In completely unrelated news, 1 World Trade Center is set to once again become New York City's tallest building today.

By: amazingstill

amazingstill — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 07:53:14 -0800

To me it would seem like bad karma. It's setting yourself up for a potential horrible joke to be played out.

By: The Card Cheat

The Card Cheat — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 07:53:17 -0800

Titanic already had a sequel. It was called Ghosts of the Abyss.

By: Blazecock Pileon

Blazecock Pileon — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 07:53:35 -0800

I'm fairly sure that Iceberg II was finished some time ago I hear James Cameron is already looking into cloning himself for the sequel.

By: acb

acb — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 07:54:29 -0800

Australian billionaire Clive Palmer I've never heard of this guy. He appears to be the clown prince of Australia's right-wing mining oligarchs, with a penchant for attention-seeking stunts, like claiming that the Greens are a CIA front on the eve of an election and now, shortly after announcing that he'll be seeking to run against the current treasurer for the Liberal-National (i.e., conservative) party, the Titanic stunt. My impression is that, essentially, he's Boris Johnson crossed with Joh Bjelke-Petersen.

By: Apropos of Something

Apropos of Something — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 07:54:48 -0800

jonmc: "I'm fairly sure that Iceberg II was finished some time ago." On the other hand, the icebergs aren't doing so hot these days. Titanic II might have a fighting chance.

By: Copronymus

Copronymus — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 07:56:32 -0800

If these guys can deliver on their YouTube trailers, I'm not sure I'll ever need a remake of the Titanic that exists outside of a 3D computer graphics engine.

By: DU

DU — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 07:57:00 -0800

1 World Trade Center is set to once again become New York City's tallest building today. What the. Did I slip into an alternate universe? In my universe, Spock has no beard, they were going to call the new building "Freedom Tower" and they hadn't started yet because of design disputes and whatnot.

By: All Out of Lulz

All Out of Lulz — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 07:58:11 -0800

Too soon.

By: orange swan

orange swan — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 07:58:23 -0800

I guess when you have that much money, you soon run out of good things to spend money on.

By: Blue_Villain

Blue_Villain — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 07:58:32 -0800

I'm fairly sure that Iceberg II was finished some time ago. Actually, most of the billionaires I know (caveat: it's three) have spent a good deal of money ensuring that most of the icebergs will be either gone or turned to slush by the time this thing hits the water.

By: swift

swift — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 07:59:09 -0800

they were going to call the new building "Freedom Tower" They are still calling it that. I guess they also call it 1 World Trade Center in case you want to send a post card or catalog or something.

By: saulgoodman

saulgoodman — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 08:00:13 -0800

Now it's all starting to fit together: This must be why it's been so hard to get the billionaires on-board with tackling global warming. Global warming is a deliberate plot Clive Palmer and other billionaires have undertaken to make the seas safe once and for all for their visionary Titanic restoration project!

By: fight or flight

fight or flight — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 08:02:20 -0800

Is it wrong that this makes me imagine a fast-food tie-in? Menu item: Oh! The Humani-Iced-Tea.

By: Blasdelb

Blasdelb — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 08:06:34 -0800

"The ship would also include an exhibition room which will be located in the space of the original's coal boilers which will showcase his home state of Queensland."

Now there is a marketing decision only a billionaire could make

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 08:08:25 -0800

In my universe we call the concrete bunker paranoia shard downtown Fort Awesome.

By: fearfulsymmetry

fearfulsymmetry — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 08:10:11 -0800

Wait, wait, wait... this isn't a spoiler for the upcoming Bond film is it?

By: Sonny Jim

Sonny Jim — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 08:11:13 -0800

This is as good a place as any to announce my movie concept: Titanic Penguin Fucking. Film opens with an ALIEN (Michael Jackson) descending from the skies onto an ICEBERG (Danny De Vito) covered in penguins. ALIEN proceeds to serially work his way through the penguins, in a variety of ways and positions. This will occupy roughly the first half of the movie. Gradually, viewers will become aware of a ship gradually approaching the iceberg. This is a full-scale replica of the TITANIC, populated with every movie star on the planet. TITANIC proceeds to impact the ICEBERG, drowning (for real, natch) every last person onboard. [END]. Now that we have a replica Titanic, I only need to obtain funding for this movie, revivify MJ, get an undertaking from Lars Von Trier, and cast every movie star in existence, and we're off. Treatment and proposed shooting script available on request.

By: clvrmnky

clvrmnky — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 08:12:05 -0800

Titanic II: The Steam Boogaloo.

By: lilkeith07

lilkeith07 — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 08:16:48 -0800

"Well, the first sinking inspired some mighty good songs*, so maybe this one will, too!" Your missing my personal favorite song about the Titanic, Legend of the USS Titanic by Jamie Brockett. Not sure if it quite fits but still a good song.

By: delmoi

delmoi — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 08:18:15 -0800

Palmer, a self-made mining billionaire, said he had commissioned state-owned Chinese company CSC Jinling Shipyard to construct Titanic II with the same dimensions as its predecessor.

How exactly does one become a "self made" mining billionaire? Did he put those oars into the ground himself? Did he dig them all up by hand?

What the. Did I slip into an alternate universe? In my universe, Spock has no beard, they were going to call the new building "Freedom Tower" and they hadn't started yet because of design disputes and whatnot.

They spent a couple years building the cement base, but construction of the office floors started on 2010, and they managed to add about one floor per week.

By: Blasdelb

Blasdelb — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 08:20:11 -0800

The biggest logistical problem with this will be the lifeboats. You know how modern cruise ships have that weird deck with space for them cut into the sides? The real titanic was just big enough to need one logistically but to small to have it, I wonder what their solution will be.

By: haricotvert

haricotvert — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 08:22:06 -0800

He probably did it by keeping his oars to the ground.

By: delmoi

delmoi — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 08:24:44 -0800

The biggest logistical problem with this will be the lifeboats. You know how modern cruise ships have that weird deck with space for them cut into the sides? The real titanic was just big enough to need one logistically but to small to have it, I wonder what their solution will be.

They could just store a bunch of those auto-inflatable boat things.

By: cribcage

cribcage — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 08:26:35 -0800

He added that he had invited the Chinese navy to escort the Titanic II to New York. I'd like to hear more about this part of his idea. Does he mean, escort the ship to the outer boundary of US waters? I don't know anything about international law, but it seems unlikely that some random guy (an Australian, no less) can invite a foreign navy to come and dock at New York for an awesome party.

By: spicynuts

spicynuts — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 08:28:52 -0800

How exactly does one become a "self made" mining billionaire? Did he put those oars into the ground himself? Did he dig them all up by hand? Best. Misspelling. Ever. I'm sitting here trying to figure how you row your way to being a billionaire miner.

By: Skeptic

Skeptic — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 08:41:49 -0800

I'm sitting here trying to figure how you row your way to being a billionaire miner. Maybe he was thinking of this kind of mine. But in that case, the ship ought perhaps to be called Britannic II.

By: Cool Papa Bell

Cool Papa Bell — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 08:42:48 -0800

Pro tip: Add more life boats.

By: KokuRyu

KokuRyu — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 08:44:51 -0800

A generation from now a trillionaire will do the same thing, but instead will launch the Titanic into space. The future is so cool...

By: Mitheral

Mitheral — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 08:45:01 -0800

The Titanic has quite a bit of fore and aft deck space at either end of the cabin space above the hull. Is it permissible to put the life boats in that space? On the orginal Titanic that deck space was required for cargo but it seems unlikely the Titanic II would incorporate that use.

By: swift

swift — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 08:47:53 -0800

On the orginal Titanic that deck space was required for cargo but it seems unlikely the Titanic II would incorporate that use. Because nobody is going to buy a ticket.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 08:54:45 -0800

What about the Visanium?

By: padraigin

padraigin — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 08:57:12 -0800

Fair warning: if I ever become a billionaire, my plans are even crazier than this.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 09:02:48 -0800

MeFi cosplay convention?

By: filthy light thief

filthy light thief — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 09:03:10 -0800

KokuRyu: There has to be a better way to keep track of all these billionaires. Forbes has this handled, but you only see 100 people per page, and after a few pages, they all blend together. I tried searching through the list, but couldn't find him. Searching on Forbes, he's listed as #29 Australia's 40 richest, which states he fell off this little list last year, so he might not be present in all of the recent Topps^TM Billionaire Trading Cards^SM series.

By: Postroad

Postroad — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 09:09:51 -0800

Is that too a deduction? let's see his tax rates

By: gallois

gallois — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 09:10:26 -0800

Because screw providing food and medicine for the hungry and sick. This is where it's at. More proof of the intelligence of the markets.

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 09:19:38 -0800

No you see stuff like INSPIRES the little guttersnipes to pick themselves up by their bootstraps, take the oars into their own hands, and ROB THAT MOTHERFUCKER BLIND

By: MikeWarot

MikeWarot — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 09:33:50 -0800

I'd recommend extensive use of metal foam which would have the benefit of making it truly unsinkable if engineered properly. Break it in half, and both halves would stay up. 8)

By: Chrysostom

Chrysostom — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 09:45:52 -0800

KokuRyu: "Somebody ought to create billionaire trading cards or something" Suck sort of did this.

By: Blue_Villain

Blue_Villain — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 10:02:16 -0800

on Forbes, he's listed as #29 Australia's 40 richest, which states he fell off this little list last year Well, I can imagine that after you tell your family and coworkers about your plan to build a second version of a historical boat that your stock in the office pool goes down a bit. Granted, it ended well, but this guy took quite a hit before his excellent finale.

By: Kevin Street

Kevin Street — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 10:04:25 -0800

That metal foam is awesome stuff. If the guy is really going to do this, he should follow in the spirit of the original Titanic and build the biggest, most badass, futuristic ship he can afford, because White Star made their their ship state of the art. Titantic II should be electric powered, made out of crazy materials that haven't left the lab yet, with robot bartenders, automated cargo holds, the works.

By: binturong

binturong — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 10:06:25 -0800

A generation from now a trillionaire will do the same thing, but instead will launch the Titanic into space. Yeah, and use it it mine asteroids!

By: bukvich

bukvich — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 10:06:41 -0800

This is several pay grades below but it fits into the theme of tempting fate. I know a person who has a cousin (or maybe it's a second cousin or something--not an immediate family member) who was fishing in a small boat on a lake in Louisiana with one other person when a thunderstorm formed and started to pelt them with rain and lightning and thunder. Cousin stands up at the front of the boat and loudly challenges God to strike him with a lightning bolt. Bang. No more cousin. I believe this was the same year that the guy slammed his golf club against the golf cart in New Orleans City Park after hitting a bad shot, snapped the shaft, and the club-head half whipped around impaling his neck with the broken shaft sharp stuff and he bled to death right there in two minutes. Paul Harvey loved these.

By: astapasta24

astapasta24 — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 10:18:42 -0800

I'm fairly sure that Iceberg II was finished some time ago. I don't think an iceberg is even necessary

By: dlugoczaj

dlugoczaj — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 10:24:27 -0800

You don't back a horse called Striding Snail You don't name your boat Titanic II So why when I see your happy smiling face Do I always end up singing Little Blue

By: designbot

designbot — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 10:45:17 -0800

I hope they test the Infinite Improbability Drive thoroughly this time.

By: Mitheral

Mitheral — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 11:00:55 -0800

Because screw providing food and medicine for the hungry and sick. This is where it's at. More proof of the intelligence of the markets. At least this guy is building a working ship that might actually earn back it's investment rather than some mega yacht of similiar proportions.

By: GenjiandProust

GenjiandProust — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 11:36:04 -0800

he only proper way to do this would be to dress only in period outfits, affect only period manners, and demand all your guests do the same. And never leave the ship, just stopping for refueling and supplies like some sad strange floating world cut off from time and drifting forever in a seafoam bubble, lost in time, lost in space. I am pretty sure this is going to be a Dr. Who episode, only it turns out that there are Daleks in the steerage.

By: MuffinMan

MuffinMan — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 11:57:19 -0800

I think this is an elaborate plot by ALL LOVERS OF MUSIC. In this version, modern technology means a smaller crew, who comfortably fit in one lifeboat. There is only one lifeboat. There is only one guest besides Joe Billionaire: Celine Dion. The boat hits an iceberg, not because of navigational errors or crew negligence, but because the captain has a pair of ears and some modicum of respect for music. The ship goes down, and quickly. I'll let you finish off the rest.

By: 445supermag

445supermag — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 12:28:12 -0800

A generation from now a trillionaire will do the same thing, but instead will launch the Titanic into space. If it's a Japanese trillionaire, maybe it will be a replica of the Battleship Yamato...

By: hanoixan

hanoixan — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 13:11:14 -0800

The Titanic II, jquinby's The Hindenberg II... I sense a trend--the market for resurrected disaster transportation is going to EXPLODE. This is just the tip of the iceberg.

By: furtive

furtive — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 14:50:38 -0800

Can we use Kickstarter to fund terrorism, just this once, please oh please oh please!

By: bystander

bystander — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 14:51:51 -0800

Clive Palmer is a disgusting toad, bloated on hate and evil. Nothing will come of this. And he is a self made mining billionaire largely by pushing paper. Nothing much has actually been mined yet, but the value of his permits etc. has soared in recent years, giving him a high paper net worth.

By: fuq

fuq — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 16:08:00 -0800

This seems like as good of a time as any to pitch my idea for Apollo 13 2: 13 Harder.

By: smoke

smoke — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 16:48:22 -0800

Yeah, the timing of this project, and the announcement, are the weirdest thing to me. Why start NOW rather than 4 years ago? Palmer has a history of making outlandish public announcements in order to distract a credulous media from any unpalatable stories about his political party doing the rounds.

By: Sidhedevil

Sidhedevil — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 17:21:24 -0800

I see absolutely no way in which this plan can possibly go wrong. Also, I have always wanted to descend to the bowels of a reproduction vintage ocean liner to look at an educational display about Queensland. This may replace my former favorite, the weird flume ride about the history of Norway at Epcot Center.

By: humanfont

humanfont — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 19:06:16 -0800

This seems like a terrible investment. You spend all that money and you end up with fewer staterooms and cabins to book than you would for a more normal cruise ship configuration. Operating costs will be higher per passenger than comparable ship investments. The design will also not have nearly the ratio of cabins with a view of the sea. There is also limited capacity for the casino and other traditional cash cows for the ship. To make up for this the operators will need to be able to charge a major premium over ordinary cruises.

By: delmoi

delmoi — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 19:16:22 -0800

I'd recommend extensive use of metal foam which would have the benefit of making it truly unsinkable if engineered properly. Break it in half, and both halves would stay up. 8)

Or they could just use, you know, regular Styrofoam.

By: Mezentian

Mezentian — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 19:45:57 -0800

Palmer has a history of making outlandish public announcements in order to distract a credulous media from any unpalatable stories about his political party doing the rounds. He also has a habit of suing anyone and everyone using some of the most outlandish tactics known to the legal system. I've known people who have had close dealings with him. To a person they are less than kind about him. His turn on last week's Q&A on climate change was appalling. I cannot fathom why he would be interested in a replica Titanic, but he does have hotel interests and a soccer team (of some sort). Maybe his parents denied him toys as a child. I'm also shocked we've gotten this far and no-one appears to have mentioned that he has decided to challenge Wayne Swan (the Treasurer) for his seat of Lilley in Queensland, potentially (probably given the state of the ALP and what is likely to be an unpopular budget) entering Federal Parliament in the next election. Two days later and I'm still trying to process that one. The man already has an unhealthy level of control over the national agenda.

By: yiftach

yiftach — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 19:49:36 -0800

Came for the gag in the post title, got the Inigo Montoya reference as a bonus, leaving happy.

By: But tomorrow is another day...

But tomorrow is another day... — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 20:35:03 -0800

A dissenting opinion on how much Clive Palmer is actually worth, and the worth of his mining asset, via Alan Kohler's Twitter feed, at Business Spectator. He also doesn't appear to be much of a miner.

By: Mezentian

Mezentian — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 20:56:26 -0800

I have been told that the quality of his iron ore project is somewhat dicey as well, but I don't know my magnetite from my haematite. You're correct he's not that much of a miner, but he can screw down some deals, probably from his time in real estate. He seems to have dropped 'Professor' from his name. A few years back when he was flying around the country in his branded plane he was very insistent he be known as Professor Clive Palmer.

By: GIFtheory

GIFtheory — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 21:02:40 -0800

I'm sitting here trying to figure how you row your way to being a billionaire miner. And that, spicynuts, is exactly why Clive Palmer is a billionaire miner and you're not. Think about that.

By: ninazer0

ninazer0 — Tue, 01 May 2012 01:11:15 -0800

Well, as far as grandiose projects go, I think I'd really prefer a period accurate replica pyramid. Preferably on top of him, but I'll take it without.

By: harriet vane

harriet vane — Tue, 01 May 2012 05:18:35 -0800

How exactly does one become a "self made" mining billionaire? That's just to distinguish him from Gina Rineheart, who inherited all her mining billions. Her big spending project is trying to buy the newspapers so they'll stop commenting on her court cases against her children. What are the odds on Clive Palmer ending up like Alan Bond? The boat obsession has got to count for something, surely.

By: sonascope

sonascope — Tue, 01 May 2012 05:48:58 -0800

I think I'm in the microscopic minority of people who really don't want to see another Titanic, largely because all the hoo-ha and grandiosity about the ship is the product of overwrought Edwardian mythmaking and puffed-up ad copy in the wake of the kind of tragedy that was the Charlie Sheen moment of that era. Thing is, the Titanic may have been large, but it wasn't even the first of its class, and who remembers the RMS Olympic? It may have been opulent, but it was opulent to an inbred hereditary elite, with dank, dark, woody interiors full of cluttered collections of uninspiring, conservative furniture that belongs to that boxed-in upper crust club scene hidden by heavy drapes and the stinking strata of smoke spewed from gnarled pipes and mumbly Etonian maws. The "grand staircase" everyone's always so foamy about is just a run-of-the-mill wooden staircase like you'd see in pretty much any moneyed household belonging to those what ran in the hallowed halls of power at the time. The designers were sufficiently vain as to include a fake funnel for the look of force, but the interiors are all just garden variety conservatories, clubs, and in-betweens. It's all as grand as mildew spreading over oak in some horrid little hunting lodge in the Counties. If we're going to work out our gilded age anxieties with retrospectives, we really ought to look at the French, who did ocean liners properly. The SS Paris, built just five years after the motley -ics—see, now that's a freaking grand staircase. These were soaring, lofty open spaces framed in traceries of Nouveau glory, with forms that played out the fantasies that are at the route of all those absurd endeavors into imagination. One could go to Deco wonderland replicating the SS Île de France, but with a bazillion dollars of robber baron cash that's already earmarked not for anything remotely charitable, you have to build a copy of the liner that's truly the greatest one ever built—the SS Normandie. Replicating a dumpy, dark little yeast infection of an Edwardian liner famous essentially for failing to live up to its advertising just seems like such a waste by comparison. Sadly, it's not preserved in myth by virtue of a glamorous demise, so alas—

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Tue, 01 May 2012 08:35:44 -0800

the really sad thing is if you've ever been on the Qe2 you can see just how bland and yuppie the design is. It's like a floating Marriott.

By: sonascope

sonascope — Tue, 01 May 2012 11:10:40 -0800

Well, the QE2 originally had crazy Space Odyssey interiors, with acres of formica and a sort of zippy, tasteless futurism that sort of namechecked Lawrence Welk and Mort Garson at the same time, but we just can't have nice things, even if they're campy and garish. The old QE2 was a good place for a guy with a droopy mustache to slouch around in a kaftan, but they couldn't leave it alone. Sigh.

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Tue, 01 May 2012 11:18:08 -0800

Damnit I would've loved to sail on SPACE SHIP

By: sonascope

sonascope — Tue, 01 May 2012 11:30:48 -0800

Ah, found a better set of images. The QE2, as originally conceived, was a perfect place for a bit of the old ultraviolence.

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Tue, 01 May 2012 11:33:02 -0800

No kidding, it looks like the set of a lost british SF social commentary movie.

By: andraste

andraste — Tue, 01 May 2012 16:04:41 -0800

Palmer also seems to have a habit of making grandiose announcements about his philanthropic work, which then aren't followed through - or at least not to the extent "pledged". The $100 million foundation he announced for medical research hasn't actually been set up, as far as anyone can tell, and charity sector scuttlebutt tells of other high-profile pledges that ended up being nowhere near the multiple millions originally announced. Like Mezentian I've heard from people who've personally encountered Clive and do not have good things to say about him. (Whereas the people I know who've personally encountered that other billionaire mining magnate Andrew Forrest have mainly good things to say about him...)

By: Mezentian

Mezentian — Tue, 01 May 2012 21:43:39 -0800

andraste He was pledging money left and right on Q&A the other night,. so that doesn't surprise me. I hadn't known about the medical foundation, but it seems as if the idea has been quietly buried since 2008, although it seems as if it's tied to Sino Iron getting into production, and that doesn't look like it will be until later this year. I'm sure that $10 million pa will start flowing next year. It's not like you could expect him to make any pre-payments while he is building the thing, like just about every other company does everywhere else. Likewise, I also have it on good authority that Forrest is a mostly good person (although there is a bit of a snake-oil salesman, mostly he's the good kind of billionaire.