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May 6, 2012 7:05 AM   Subscribe

Toronto FC has set a new record in Major League Soccer by opening the season with eight consecutive losses. This despite having earlier in the year gone all the way to the semifinals in the CONCACAF Champions League with the same lineup (the CONCACAF Champions League is the international championship for all North American, Central American, and Caribbean clubs).

The most recent loss came at the hands of a DC United side including Toronto native and former TFC captain Dwayne De Rosario. When asked to comment on TFC's dire predicament and the coaching of Aron Winter (who was responsible for trading De Rosario away from Toronto), the MLS MVP made an oblique reference to Psalm 118.
posted by 256 (25 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite

 
Wake me when they take out a full-page apology in the Star.
posted by one more dead town's last parade at 7:16 AM on May 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


2 Kings 18:26
posted by mazola at 8:01 AM on May 6, 2012


This is Toronto. We're used to having our sports teams flounder and fail. If we can't have Stanley Cups and championship rings, we'll at least settle for consistently.
posted by spoobnooble II: electric bugaboo at 8:36 AM on May 6, 2012 [2 favorites]


"Consistency", even.
posted by spoobnooble II: electric bugaboo at 8:40 AM on May 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


There's no big money in Canadian teams winning anything, so they won't win anything.
posted by mobunited at 8:53 AM on May 6, 2012


Over the last few years I have learned to run like hell from anyone who talks about 'vision' without intending to talk about the visual perceptual system.
posted by srboisvert at 9:01 AM on May 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


WINTER OUT!
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 9:16 AM on May 6, 2012


Also, I'm gonna have to go psalm 137 here. Toronto has a large Caribbean population- they know what I'm talking about.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 9:20 AM on May 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


How can you tell the difference between a Leafs fan and a TFC fan? No, I can't either.

In a city with so many people from places which idolize football, TFC provides sanitized-for-your-protection North American processed sports pap. There's no passion to it. I was at an event at ExPlace the same time TFC was playing. You couldn't even tell when either team scored in the building next door. Where I'm from, you can hear the roar across town.
posted by scruss at 9:35 AM on May 6, 2012


Does anyone else find it absurd that NA soccer teams find it necessary to copy their Eurpoean brethren's team designations? Toronto FC? DC United? Sporting Kansas City? Lame.
posted by hwestiii at 10:03 AM on May 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


Does anyone else find it absurd that NA soccer teams find it necessary to copy their Eurpoean brethren's team designations? Toronto FC? DC United? Sporting Kansas City? Lame.

Yes. Many teams didn’t do that at first, then later changed their names to this style.
posted by bongo_x at 10:09 AM on May 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


Toronto FC means "Toronto Football Club". It's a perfectly sensible name, and much, much better than some name like "Toronto Wild Cats". Football fans in Toronto are European and Caribbean and Asian and African. So our Football team has a name that fits in with football teams from around the world. And it's been much better for their marketing - I had never even heard of Toronto's football team before thy changed their name to Toronto FC.
posted by jb at 10:16 AM on May 6, 2012 [5 favorites]


My experience is the opposite of jb's: up until I got into a polite argument with somebody about this two weeks ago, I thought they were still called the Toronto Blizzard, not to be confused with this Toronto Blizzard, although calling in the armed forces could have helped them score a few goals.
posted by maudlin at 11:23 AM on May 6, 2012


Toronto FC? DC United? Sporting Kansas City? Lame.

The embarassingly bad one is Real Salt Lake--my understanding is that "real" usually refers to some kind of royal connection, which doesn't seem to work in the context of the USA. I have to agree with jb that "FC" is actually a pretty sensible inclusion in the name of a football club. "Sporting Kansas City" strikes me as a bit odd, but it's a step up from "Kansas City Wiz" so take what you can get I guess.
posted by Hoopo at 12:17 PM on May 6, 2012 [2 favorites]


I would just like to point out that my version of Toronto FC (in the campaign mode of FIFA 12 (iOS)) is doing quite well. This means that they should follow my strategy of keeping the 'difficulty' setting quite low and pressing the 'auto-tackle' button a lot.

If you're reading this, Aron Winter, my consultancy fees are very reasonable.
posted by Dreadnought at 12:33 PM on May 6, 2012 [5 favorites]


"Sporting Kansas City" strikes me as a bit odd, but it's a step up from "Kansas City Wiz" so take what you can get I guess.

Yep. Clearly "Sampdoria Kansas City" would have been much cooler.

What does "Sampdoria" mean anyway?
posted by sour cream at 1:12 PM on May 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


What does "Sampdoria" mean anyway?

The name came from the merger of two clubs, Sampierdarenese and Andrea Doria.
posted by omarr at 1:57 PM on May 6, 2012


Does anyone else find it absurd that NA soccer teams find it necessary to copy their Eurpoean brethren's team designations? Toronto FC? DC United? Sporting Kansas City? Lame.

Why is a made-up Euro-sounding name any lamer than a made-up American sounding name? Those teams are making a conscious attempt to connect to the tradition and culture of international fooball, which is not a bad idea when you're starting up a team or a league basically from scratch.
posted by stargell at 4:23 PM on May 6, 2012 [1 favorite]


Or in the case of Kansas City, trying to erase the horror that was the Wiz.
posted by stargell at 4:24 PM on May 6, 2012


Ever wonder why AC Milan (one of football's most celebrated clubs) doesn't use the Italian word for its own city? It was founded by two c-19 British dudes and maintained to recognize the foreign roots of the club and the sport with its nomenclature. Kind of, you might say, like MLS teams are doing now...
posted by Catchfire at 4:45 PM on May 6, 2012 [2 favorites]


There are other examples too--Leeds United wear white in honour/mimicry of Real Madrid; And the famous Brazilian Club S.C Corinthians are named after a legendary English team who were so honorable that they would miss penalties on purpose because they couldn't conceive of a player intentionally fouling another.
posted by Catchfire at 4:53 PM on May 6, 2012


Kind of, you might say, like MLS teams are doing now...

While I agree that mocking a club for being called Toronto FC is silly, the MLS's complete ignorance of naming conventions does deserve mockery. As has been noted, Real Salt Lake is the epitome of this phenomenon. (I think the king of Spain ended up giving them recognition as a way out of the faux pas.)

DC United has always been called DC United. But where do clubs called United come from? The merger of two other clubs.

The Houston Dynamo have bizarrely decided to reference clubs historically sponsored by secret police forces, even if Dynamo Kiev is illustrious. They picked that over Houston 1836 after realising that name was putting off the Hispanic community they wanted to recruit as fans. Was the club founded in 1836? Of course not.

Sporting Kansas City actually makes sense, well, sort of anyway. It doesn't quite work in English, I don't think. But, hey, no affront to the king of Spain, so that's progress.
posted by hoyland at 6:03 PM on May 6, 2012


the horror that was the Wiz

Anything beats the Wiz.
posted by one more dead town's last parade at 6:18 PM on May 6, 2012


In a city with so many people from places which idolize football, TFC provides sanitized-for-your-protection North American processed sports pap.

And yet it's TFC fans who are the closest things to football hooligans in the MLS.

Why is a made-up Euro-sounding name any lamer than a made-up American sounding name?

Especially given three of the biggest success stories in the MLS, the Sounders, Timbers, and Whitecaps, are all named for NASL teams (and the A-League and USL teams that followed the collapse of the NASL). This is how teams in America get named -- with a mascot as part of the name.
posted by dw at 8:09 PM on May 6, 2012


WINTER OUT!

It's such a shame. He was one of my favourite players, but as a coach? He suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhcks.

That said, I'm sure the problem isn't just him.
posted by Capt. Renault at 12:07 PM on May 7, 2012


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