"My right to choose? What about my right to choose to not have a choice?"

May 9, 2012 7:34 AM

Republicans, Get In My Vagina! - Kate Beckinsale, Judy Greer, and Andrea Savage spread the message that one thing women really want in their vaginas is the government.
posted by quin (55 comments total)

Kate Beckinsale used to be British.
posted by wabbittwax at 7:42 AM on May 9, 2012 [5 favorites]

That was pretty goddamn funny.
posted by Dr. Wu at 7:45 AM on May 9, 2012

Republicans have all the luck.
posted by MustardTent at 7:50 AM on May 9, 2012

The Elephant in the womb.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 7:56 AM on May 9, 2012 [47 favorites]

The noise at the end.
posted by cashman at 7:56 AM on May 9, 2012 [3 favorites]

Kate Beckinsale used to be British.

If Kate Beckinsale wants to be an American citizen and she wants to substitute her citizenship exam with saying "vagina" a lot, I'm OK with that.
posted by jonp72 at 7:57 AM on May 9, 2012 [9 favorites]

I enjoyed that.
posted by Seymour Zamboni at 8:01 AM on May 9, 2012

I love the libertarian bubble progressives step into when the subject turns to sex. If only they were able to extend that suspicion of governments intent, capacity and mandate to other spheres of daily life.
posted by falameufilho at 8:01 AM on May 9, 2012 [5 favorites]

Judy Greer? Really? I may have to seriously consider registering as a Republican.

I've already got the complete insensitivity to sarcasm down pat.
posted by Naberius at 8:02 AM on May 9, 2012

I always knew Judy Greer had gravitas. Or at least very high density. (Wow, once you start making black hole jokes, it's very hard to achieve escape velocity.)
posted by RogerB at 8:03 AM on May 9, 2012 [2 favorites]

Were any of the women who might be amused by this video ever considering voting Republican in the past?
posted by KokuRyu at 8:03 AM on May 9, 2012

Don't you want someone like your Dad in your vagina? HA! The best part.
posted by Eicats at 8:06 AM on May 9, 2012 [3 favorites]

And KokuRyu is right: it is preaching to the choir. But it's still funny.
posted by Eicats at 8:06 AM on May 9, 2012 [2 favorites]

I'll get back to you as soon as I've asked them all.
posted by running order squabble fest at 8:07 AM on May 9, 2012

"When it turns to sex."

Or marriage. Or religion. Or the right to vote.
posted by zippy at 8:08 AM on May 9, 2012 [6 favorites]

That was hysterical. Is it just me or did Beckinsale get a bit of 'blur lens' on her closeups?
posted by fet at 8:08 AM on May 9, 2012

RogerB: "once you start making black hole jokes, it's very hard to achieve escape velocity"

Well once we start making black hole jokes... wait, wait. I had something for this.
posted by boo_radley at 8:14 AM on May 9, 2012 [4 favorites]

I love the libertarian bubble progressives step into when the subject turns to sex. If only they were able to extend that suspicion of governments intent, capacity and mandate to other spheres of daily life.

I love it when libertarian-types reveal that they can't distinguish a vagina from a privatized road.
posted by octobersurprise at 8:15 AM on May 9, 2012 [114 favorites]

I love the libertarian bubble progressives step into when the subject turns to sex. If only they were able to extend that suspicion of governments intent, capacity and mandate to other spheres of daily life.

I like octobersurprise's answer, but to take you seriously for a moment, I do have a suspicion of government intent pretty much all the time. However, I also have that same suspicion for all the non-governmental entities that need regulation to protect me from them. Being a libertarian seems to be trading one master for another, and I don't really want that myself.
posted by me & my monkey at 8:20 AM on May 9, 2012 [25 favorites]

I love the libertarian bubble progressives step into when the subject turns to sex. If only they were able to extend that suspicion of governments intent, capacity and mandate to other spheres of daily life.

Well, when I meet a libertarian who doesn't drive on roads, refuses all forms of emergency rescue and protection, wants his kindergartner to work in sweatshops, and is willing to drink the runoff from a chemical processing plant, we can talk about "bubbles."
posted by zombieflanders at 8:26 AM on May 9, 2012 [26 favorites]

If Kate Beckinsale wants to be an American citizen and she wants to substitute her citizenship exam with saying "vagina" a lot, I'm OK with that.

I think it's more a question of accent than citizenship. Maybe she bought it secondhand from Madonna.
posted by Jehan at 8:32 AM on May 9, 2012 [2 favorites]

I love the libertarian bubble progressives step into when the subject turns to sex. If only they were able to extend that suspicion of governments intent, capacity and mandate to other spheres of daily life.

If your cunt is a public service, you're doing it wrong.
posted by Jehan at 8:33 AM on May 9, 2012 [6 favorites]

Metafilter: Vaginas and privatized roads
posted by jonp72 at 8:35 AM on May 9, 2012 [1 favorite]

I immediately thought of this.
posted by lubujackson at 8:42 AM on May 9, 2012

All this just leads to the inevitable question of how big government needs to be to service America's vaginas. How big is too big? How small is too small? Does size really matter?
posted by wabbittwax at 8:43 AM on May 9, 2012 [3 favorites]

I love the libertarian bubble progressives step into when the subject turns to sex. If only they were able to extend that suspicion of governments intent, capacity and mandate to other spheres of daily life.

The U.S. was wisely founded on checks and balances; but today, it's not between the judiciary, the legislative branch and the executive. It's between big business and government, and government is the weaker, less dangerous part. The libertarian idea that, absent government, individuals would have the power is a ridiculous fantasy.
posted by msalt at 8:49 AM on May 9, 2012 [43 favorites]

The "moral majority" is consumed by a fear of sex. Having an open conversation about what rights citizens should have regarding sex and control over our bodies is the absolute last thing they want
posted by crayz at 8:53 AM on May 9, 2012

My vagina started out as a common law joint stock company, but it attracted the attention of antitrust regulators when it started purchasing competitors. A deal with the government let it continue as it was as long as it agreed to cease acquiring any more independent vaginas, which resulted in it having a de facto geographic monopoly. I was actually required to allow competitors to make use of my uterus, but economists eventually pointed out that this reduced the incentive of them to create their own competing uteruses. Of course, my vagina later got nationalized, with the states started regulating my rates directly, since it was claimed that my vagina was a "natural monopoly" as it was believed at that time that one vagina could better serve the public than two or more. Nonetheless, another antitrust suit soon tried forced me to divest my research and development department, but I settled that promising to license any patents to "all interested parties." The first erosion to my vagina's monopoly happened when a court ruling allowed third-party devices to be attached to my vagina, and then of course technological advances made the idea of a single vagina start serving the entire U.S. start to seem outdated. Eventually my vagina agreed to divest its local operating companies in return for a chance to go into the computer business.
posted by kyrademon at 8:54 AM on May 9, 2012 [39 favorites]

Metafilter: My vagina got nationalized.
posted by cashman at 8:59 AM on May 9, 2012 [1 favorite]

I love it when libertarian-types reveal that they can't distinguish a vagina from a privatized road.

It is precisely this sort of artificial distinction, sadly all too common in the minds of the voting public, that has helped Big Vagina elude needed regulation and reform for decades.
posted by gauche at 9:00 AM on May 9, 2012 [14 favorites]

In capitalist vagina, ovum oppresses ovum. In communist vagina, it's the other way around.
posted by jonp72 at 9:01 AM on May 9, 2012 [3 favorites]

In Soviet Union, the government vaginas you!
posted by jonp72 at 9:01 AM on May 9, 2012 [4 favorites]

What the heck is that supposed to mean?
posted by agregoli at 9:02 AM on May 9, 2012 [1 favorite]

HI-larious. One of my favorite parts was the foley at the veeery end.
posted by Kimberly at 9:05 AM on May 9, 2012 [1 favorite]

Heh. Libertarians are just anarchists who hate people and love money - the thought of them angry that left wing politics is "stealing" something from them is beyond hilarious. They'll be taking your love of dope next!
posted by Artw at 9:12 AM on May 9, 2012 [2 favorites]

kyrademon, your vagina is AT&T? That's just... I don't know what that is.
posted by Naberius at 9:38 AM on May 9, 2012 [1 favorite]

They'll be taking your love of dope next!

That's funny. I've always heard libertarians described as "Republicans who smoke dope."
posted by caryatid at 9:39 AM on May 9, 2012 [4 favorites]

I love the libertarian bubble progressives step into when the subject turns to sex. If only they were able to extend that suspicion of governments intent, capacity and mandate to other spheres of daily life.

You're mistaking agreement on a specific policy issue for agreement on underlying philosophical rationales for that specific policy position. Just because libertarians and Nazis both agree that, say, it is a good idea to have a police force to investigate murder doesn't mean that libertarians are getting into a "Nazi bubble" when they hold that opinion. Just because I see an important role for the state in many aspects of life which you think the state should not be involved in does not mean that I somehow entertain the notion that the state should involve itself in every possible area if life.

I assume you do not think that laws against pedophilia should all be repealed. That doesn't mean that you are logically required to believe that the state should regulate every choice everybody makes with regard to their who they sleep with.
posted by yoink at 9:46 AM on May 9, 2012 [8 favorites]

Speaking of vaginas: Delta pulls 'Daily Show' ads over 'vagina manger' skit

The skit in question: The Battle for the War on Women
posted by homunculus at 9:47 AM on May 9, 2012

I love the libertarian bubble progressives step into when the subject turns to sex. If only they were able to extend that suspicion of governments intent, capacity and mandate to other spheres of daily life.

falameufilho, you've presented a false dilemma. Uncle Wiggly says you must hop, hop, hop back three steps, and lose a turn.
posted by IAmBroom at 9:59 AM on May 9, 2012 [5 favorites]

What the heck is that supposed to mean?

In Soviet Russia, mean supposes to you!
posted by FatherDagon at 10:22 AM on May 9, 2012 [2 favorites]

> kyrademon, your vagina is AT&T?

I'm guess it's just one-half. AT&T does stand for "American Twat and Testicles", right?
posted by benito.strauss at 10:23 AM on May 9, 2012

When there are so many dicks in government is it surprising government wants to get in vaginas?
posted by MuffinMan at 10:38 AM on May 9, 2012 [2 favorites]

> When there are so many dicks in government is it surprising government wants to get in vaginas?

Well, yes, frankly.
posted by de at 10:44 AM on May 9, 2012 [1 favorite]

On behalf of my wife:
I would rather have the govt up my vagina than the GOP up my ass
posted by Postroad at 12:01 PM on May 9, 2012

I would rather have the govt up my vagina than the GOP up my ass

There's a DP joke in there somewhere for someone braver than me.
posted by me & my monkey at 12:10 PM on May 9, 2012

a DP joke

Some would argue the Democratic Party is already a joke.
posted by zippy at 12:17 PM on May 9, 2012 [4 favorites]

The GOP just doesn't feel like they could be all up in everyone's asses out in the open, and besides, airport washrooms are getting disturbingly close to public washrooms, which are socialist or something. Better to stick to sticking it to vaginas.
posted by eviemath at 12:19 PM on May 9, 2012

[Occupy joke]
posted by en forme de poire at 12:20 PM on May 9, 2012 [1 favorite]

I love the libertarian bubble progressives step into when the subject turns to sex. If only they were able to extend that suspicion of governments intent, capacity and mandate to other spheres of daily life.

I mean, there's not really that much libertarian-ism involved though. After all, progressives do want the government to be involved in sex-related healthcare and sex education. It's just that we would prefer its involvement to be providing those things instead of outlawing them.

If progressives wanted no government involvement in sex at all, that would be libertarian.
posted by !Jim at 6:44 PM on May 9, 2012 [4 favorites]

If the premise of the question wasn't ludicrous garbage it'd almost be poetic - a bubble of libertarian freedom in the Ying of socialist restriction, matched by a bubble of socialist restraint in the yang of libertarian belief...

Ying and Yang...

69 dude.
posted by Artw at 6:56 PM on May 9, 2012

...has helped Big Vagina elude needed regulation...</stormlarge>

posted by blueberry at 9:19 PM on May 10, 2012 [1 favorite]

Why yes, falameufilho, there is such a thing as social libertarianism, I'm glad you noticed.
posted by [insert clever name here] at 11:37 PM on May 10, 2012

I know vagina jokes are supposed to be hilarious these days...but was that really funny? I'm sympathetic to the message, but I didn't think so.

Maybe I need to watch more Jon Stewart.
posted by softjeans at 5:42 PM on May 11, 2012

Yeah, I found that offensive and frankly, stupid.
posted by agregoli at 2:41 PM on May 14, 2012