Comments on: The Use Of Aslan Or Morpheus Is Cheating

The Use Of Aslan Or Morpheus Is Cheating

The Whelk — Thu, 10 May 2012 14:39:19 -0800

Tor.com asks: So Who Would Make Up The Epic Fantasy Version Of The Avengers?

By: Memo

Memo — Thu, 10 May 2012 14:44:36 -0800

I'd be all for it if it meant we'd be getting a Mistborn movie to set up the character. Now I'm sad that it'll never happen.

By: Ghidorah

Ghidorah — Thu, 10 May 2012 14:48:04 -0800

There's no need to cover for Hawkeye, so Legolas is unnecessary. Clearly Gandalf is the proper character to take from Tolkien. Before there's any talk of "too powerful" please realize that Tony Stark is currently occupying the "any sufficiently advanced tech is indistinguishable from magic" role in the marvel universe. Anti-telepathy psychic tasers. Seriously.

By: WidgetAlley

WidgetAlley — Thu, 10 May 2012 14:48:37 -0800

Kvothe? Please. For someone who's good at sideways, recruit Locke Lamora (and get Jean Tannen for free.)

By: hanoixan

hanoixan — Thu, 10 May 2012 14:48:47 -0800

Is it just me, or does Rand al'Thor look JUST like Michael C. Hall?

By: MCMikeNamara

MCMikeNamara — Thu, 10 May 2012 14:49:47 -0800

Tween me would have fan-fic'ed the fuck out of that blog post. (As soon as he was done traveling forward in time and somebody told him what fan-fic and a blog was...eventually, though, he'd be all over it.)

By: saturday_morning

saturday_morning — Thu, 10 May 2012 14:51:31 -0800

Instead of a shield, [King Arthur]'s got one badass sword — Excalibur is sort of like having a super power all to itself, if you want to discount the whole "special chosen king with a magical teacher" thing. Come now. As everyone who ever had to read The Once And Future King for grade eleven English knows full well, the scabbard is worth ten of the swords, for whiles ye have the scabbard upon you, ye shall never lose no blood be ye never so sore wounded, therefore keep well the scabbard always with you. Magic shield. Boom. Arthur also had a magic spear named Ron, which is irrelevant

By: gurple

gurple — Thu, 10 May 2012 14:53:24 -0800

Vlad Taltos would make any otherwise boring fantasy team interesting, and his power level could be easily tweaked as appropriate, just like in the books.

By: Smart Dalek

Smart Dalek — Thu, 10 May 2012 14:53:26 -0800

It's simple, really: Elric of Melniboné Jerry Cornelius Lord Erekosë Ghardas Valabasian Vaughn Marquis Roland For comic relief, you throw in Hawkmoon and Moonglum as a Greek Chorus.

By: nadawi

nadawi — Thu, 10 May 2012 14:57:10 -0800

i always mix up Tor and Gor and my eyes bug when it's just thrown into conversation without any warnings.

By: eugenen

eugenen — Thu, 10 May 2012 14:58:05 -0800

That pouty artist's-rendering of Kvothe looks phenomenally wrong to me.

By: bonehead

bonehead — Thu, 10 May 2012 15:00:39 -0800

Corwin, of course, would be the one to assemble the team, though I don't know what his ass looks like in black leather.

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Thu, 10 May 2012 15:00:42 -0800

Susan, granddaughter of Death, seems like a lock for a leadership role.

By: Cool Papa Bell

Cool Papa Bell — Thu, 10 May 2012 15:03:10 -0800

Nerds, please. Tom Bombadil.

By: Mizu

Mizu — Thu, 10 May 2012 15:04:00 -0800

Can Thor still be Thor though?

By: CBrachyrhynchos

CBrachyrhynchos — Thu, 10 May 2012 15:05:18 -0800

Didn't Alan Moore already do this one?

By: gurple

gurple — Thu, 10 May 2012 15:08:01 -0800

How about Wiz Zumwalt, for some crossover action and pan-nerd appeal?

By: Sangermaine

Sangermaine — Thu, 10 May 2012 15:08:58 -0800

Before there's any talk of "too powerful" please realize that Tony Stark is currently occupying the "any sufficiently advanced tech is indistinguishable from magic" role in the marvel universe. Anti-telepathy psychic tasers. Seriously. Yeah, Stark has crazy tech, but within the context of the Marvel Universe he's not really that outlandish. There are many, many people more powerful than him. Gandalf is on a whole different level. I'd say he's the equivalent of a cosmic entity in the MU, being an actual demigod in Tolkien's works.

By: CBrachyrhynchos

CBrachyrhynchos — Thu, 10 May 2012 15:11:32 -0800

I suspect at some point in the run, you'll get a Drizzt for the same reason that everything in the Marvel Universe ends up with Wolverine and/or Spiderman.

By: resurrexit

resurrexit — Thu, 10 May 2012 15:11:35 -0800

Gandalf is on a whole different level. See I would put him as Nick Fury, assembling the team, down to the last burgler.

By: WidgetAlley

WidgetAlley — Thu, 10 May 2012 15:12:21 -0800

Crap. I didn't even think of Discworld. Vimes, of course, will be taking the Nick Fury role.

By: Zack_Replica

Zack_Replica — Thu, 10 May 2012 15:12:40 -0800

As cool as that'd be, Smart Dalek, getting them all together would either bring the multiverse to a grinding halt, or they'd be too busy pursuing their own agendas and bitching about everything to do anything as a team. On the upside.. "You have a Hulk? Well, we have a Duke of Chaos. Blood and souls, Arioch!" Boom, fight done. Which brings to mind the question: why no Elric/Hawkmoon/Cornelius movies, I wonder. A decent animated series'd be just fine by me.

By: davros42

davros42 — Thu, 10 May 2012 15:12:44 -0800

Surely they mean the Justice League. At any given moment at least 50% of the Avengers are nobodies. Or do we get to decide who the Dr. Druid of fantasy is too?

By: Joey Michaels

Joey Michaels — Thu, 10 May 2012 15:13:15 -0800

You know, if you want to do this FOR REAL, you need to ask yourself "which fantasy characters would sell the most books/movie tickets if put together in a single book/movie." I propose: Inigo Montoya Gollum Neville Longbottom (post-bad ass moment in HP:DH2) Tyrion from GOT David Bowie's Goblin King The main villain they'd face? The Knights who say "Ni."

By: Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish

Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish — Thu, 10 May 2012 15:14:01 -0800

Seeing as this has already been done (but for a different genre), shouldn't they just be calling this the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen for fantasy?

By: scaryblackdeath

scaryblackdeath — Thu, 10 May 2012 15:15:13 -0800

Conan would fill the Hulk role. No one could do it better. That said, I think this is a very silly discussion. Yes, I participated. But it's still very silly.

By: Slackermagee

Slackermagee — Thu, 10 May 2012 15:16:59 -0800

I'm surprised they didn't lump in a Wendigo. Or would that be a gathering of myth-fantasy individuals? (So; a Wendigo, Prometheus, Anansi, etc.)

By: gurple

gurple — Thu, 10 May 2012 15:17:24 -0800

Skeeve would make an excellent quirky second-stringer.

By: jenfullmoon

jenfullmoon — Thu, 10 May 2012 15:28:58 -0800

Granny Weatherwax! Another odd suggestion: Phedre no Delaunay de Montreve. Speaks thirteen languages and picks 'em up easily, can withstand torture, is darned good at strategic boinking, thwarted the takeover of her kingdom, offs bad guys, and tracked down the Name of God. The girl is down with the strategery!

By: Phire

Phire — Thu, 10 May 2012 15:29:17 -0800

WidgetAlley: "Kvothe? Please. For someone who's good at sideways, recruit Locke Lamora (and get Jean Tannen for free.)" I have nothing to contribute other than to say: SQUEE, someone else who likes The Lies Of Locke Lamora.

By: Chekhovian

Chekhovian — Thu, 10 May 2012 15:34:09 -0800

Cleary you need the Dragon from the Iron Dragon's Daughter. Its like a hybrid between an F-15 and an M1 Abrams...that's magical. But if you want to play the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen game, we can only have characters that are public domain. Much harder, that.

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Thu, 10 May 2012 15:37:22 -0800

Naw, LOEG played that game too well ( the almanac that Ted together every major fantastical location! Thing of beauty) lets mine all the private domaine characters! Diane Duane's young wizards can have a very awkward conversation with Hermine about how magic works.

By: GoingToShopping

GoingToShopping — Thu, 10 May 2012 15:40:20 -0800

Aw geeze, I totally thought they'd have Jesus in there somewhere. Oh well.

By: Mizu

Mizu — Thu, 10 May 2012 15:40:41 -0800

Definitely need the Wizard Howl to fill in for some of Tony Stark's vanity. And Sabriel for dealing with the inevitable necromancers. If you're gonna pull from HP, I'd go for Ginny, actually. After being badass in her own right for the whole damn year Harry's off faffing about in the woods, she acquires skills in quidditch (flying, speedy reaction times, teamwork), journalism (public face of crime fighting team) and motherhood (don't even need to qualify this.) Not to mention she has a *mean* bat-bogey hex and threw off possession by the freaking dark lord when she was eleven years old.

By: sonic meat machine

sonic meat machine — Thu, 10 May 2012 15:42:34 -0800

Okay, so there are a lot of characters who would be too powerful (Severian, I'm looking at you). Furthermore, you need people with actual abilities, so the entire population of most "gritty" fantasy novels is unavailable (sorry, Syrio). The Hon'rable Leader: Belgarion. This is essentially his character in the books, after all. Powerful Antihero: Anomander Rake. Grumpy Juggernaut: Icarium. He is the hulk. Legends of his rage precede him, and yet he is pretty much a nice guy when he's not pissed at you. Lethal Assassin: Vlad Taltos, as mentioned above. His power can be adjusted as necessary. Useless and Underpowered: Sansa Stark. Nondescript Hero with Norse Overtones: Able (The Wizard Knight).

By: delmoi

delmoi — Thu, 10 May 2012 15:43:42 -0800

Seems like a somewhat silly premise. The avengers were all in the same general universe, but even with crossovers like batman/spider-man it still makes sense because they are in the same metaphysical world. But how can you have, like, Hermione and Frodo team up?

By: dng

dng — Thu, 10 May 2012 15:46:14 -0800

They should make a film where every Sean Bean fantasy film character teams up, dies.

By: Mizu

Mizu — Thu, 10 May 2012 15:46:39 -0800

You've clearly not read enough crossover fanfic, delmoi.

By: elizardbits

elizardbits — Thu, 10 May 2012 15:46:50 -0800

But how can you have, like, Hermione and Frodo team up? They met at the hairdresser's.

By: Phire

Phire — Thu, 10 May 2012 15:54:14 -0800

She Apparated to Middle Earth.

By: fleacircus

fleacircus — Thu, 10 May 2012 15:57:43 -0800

Well obviously the ship at the end goes to Hogwarts. Gandalf got on foodstamps and took a teaching job, Bilbo found a place through Dobby's people, and Frodo just kind of kicks around until the action starts.

By: It's Never Lurgi

It's Never Lurgi — Thu, 10 May 2012 15:58:00 -0800

What about Scotty as the general tech-genius/Mr Fixit (yes, Star Trek is fantasy, not science fiction)?

By: lekvar

lekvar — Thu, 10 May 2012 15:58:29 -0800

I saw the word "epic" and got as far as

The Hon'rable Leader: GILGAMESH Powerful Antihero: ACHILLES Trickster Mage: KRISHNA"

before the rest of my brain could catch up. I definitely think Jesus would belong to that list, GoingToShopping.

By: gurple

gurple — Thu, 10 May 2012 16:01:02 -0800

The Hon'rable Leader: GILGAMESH Nah, Enkidu does all the heavy lifting for ol' Gilg. Hon'rable Leader has to be willing to get down and dirty.

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Thu, 10 May 2012 16:03:18 -0800

It's the same problem as putting in godlike characters, including Odysseus would just overpower any team.

By: CBrachyrhynchos

CBrachyrhynchos — Thu, 10 May 2012 16:03:34 -0800

Sticking just to Earth-based fantasy, you could get John Carter as your martial arts bruiser, Hermione Granger for your mystic crowd control, and Anton Gorodetski for your wild-card powerful mastermind. Then you can fill out the team with second-string minor characters from The Dresden Files, Lovecraft, The Vampire Lestat, and Anita Blake and you'd have a good approximation of The Avengers.

By: No-sword

No-sword — Thu, 10 May 2012 16:08:34 -0800

I was going to propose Master Li but on second thoughts he'd be better as an independent ally/frenemy, Doctor Strange-style.

By: George_Spiggott

George_Spiggott — Thu, 10 May 2012 16:09:28 -0800

John Steed, Emma Peel, Cathy Gale, Mike Gambit, and of course, Purdey. Not Tara King, though.

By: dng

dng — Thu, 10 May 2012 16:11:08 -0800

Leading the team would be YOU, the hero of every Fighting Fantasy book

By: gurple

gurple — Thu, 10 May 2012 16:11:53 -0800

You know, I'd been trying to come up with someone from Lovecraft, but I couldn't. Everyone's either no-powered or very very very evil. Henry Armitage? Weak sauce.

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Thu, 10 May 2012 16:13:44 -0800

If we're trawling better than it should be fan fiction then Methods Of Rationality Harry Potter should have a place as the team alchemist. He can compare notes with Herminie on how her reality's Harry is such a dip.

By: Ghidorah

Ghidorah — Thu, 10 May 2012 16:17:28 -0800

Clearly, we've left out the most important fantastical character available, Hellboy.* Then again, we could skip the bland mishmash that is the Avengers (or any group of solo characters thrown together for no other reason than sales) and just read BPRD instead. *Hellboy is much, much more interesting than half of the fantasy series being bandied about... cough cough, Wheel of Time...

By: philip-random

philip-random — Thu, 10 May 2012 16:17:54 -0800

Oliver North would have to be in there somewhere.

By: elizardbits

elizardbits — Thu, 10 May 2012 16:29:20 -0800

....to, uh. sell weapons to the enemy?

By: Sebmojo

Sebmojo — Thu, 10 May 2012 16:31:32 -0800

Vetinari as the Nick Fury character.

By: Phire

Phire — Thu, 10 May 2012 16:36:02 -0800

The Whelk: "If we're trawling better than it should be fan fiction then Methods Of Rationality Harry Potter should have a place as the team alchemist. He can compare notes with Herminie on how her reality's Harry is such a dip." I don't know, that fic started charming and refreshing, and quickly turned tiresome. Part of reason is knowing when to apply it, and MoR!Harry was just obnoxious.

By: His thoughts were red thoughts

His thoughts were red thoughts — Thu, 10 May 2012 16:41:22 -0800

Part of reason is knowing when to apply it, and MoR!Harry was just obnoxious. Well, yes. He's an eleven year old prodigy. It would be more unbelievable if he wasn't obnoxious.

By: Chekhovian

Chekhovian — Thu, 10 May 2012 16:47:01 -0800

MoR!Harry was just obnoxious Agreed, but Rowlings Harry was horribly stupidly obnoxious. The main problem with MoR is the "cargo cult" rationalism. Every problem is solved by some study or some other fitting on his rationalist swiss army knife. Ugh. I do really enjoy the "Ender Potter" battles though. Dialog sections and digressions on character motivations are mostly a wash. So much like the original.

By: Chekhovian

Chekhovian — Thu, 10 May 2012 16:47:18 -0800

And at least there isn't any fucking quidditch.

By: His thoughts were red thoughts

His thoughts were red thoughts — Thu, 10 May 2012 16:47:38 -0800

By: MattWPBS

MattWPBS — Thu, 10 May 2012 16:47:45 -0800

Ill defined power level, pretty much unstoppable force of nature, habit of harassing people it just doesn't like as well as actual enemies, not quite sure exactly how intelligent it is beyond default emotion of 'angry', first name is 'The'? I'd make the case that The Hulk analogue is The Luggage.

By: lekvar

lekvar — Thu, 10 May 2012 16:50:42 -0800

Enkidu does all the heavy lifting for ol' Gilg. Enkidu would be the Tank: the wildman, raised by animals and capable of great feats of strength, until his power is brought to the service of civilization. Kinda half-Wolvie, half-Hulk.

By: unmake

unmake — Thu, 10 May 2012 16:53:24 -0800

Raistlin, Jesus, and Xena.

By: Ghidorah

Ghidorah — Thu, 10 May 2012 17:00:03 -0800

The Tick would have to be included, mostly because you couldn't keep him away. He'd love to be a part of the group. He'd probably even try to bake for the meetings. "Look everyone! Cupcakes! Cupcakes of VENGEANCE!"

By: the_artificer

the_artificer — Thu, 10 May 2012 17:05:00 -0800

gurple: "You know, I'd been trying to come up with someone from Lovecraft, but I couldn't. Everyone's either no-powered or very very very evil. Henry Armitage? Weak sauce." Herbert West and his army of undead? Randolph Carter, the writer with the weird dreams who keeps showing up everywhere?

By: T.D. Strange

T.D. Strange — Thu, 10 May 2012 17:05:15 -0800

How is Elminster not case in the Nick Fury slot?

By: T.D. Strange

T.D. Strange — Thu, 10 May 2012 17:08:01 -0800

And can we extend this to PC games? Minsc and Boo have to be on the team.

By: AdamCSnider

AdamCSnider — Thu, 10 May 2012 17:09:26 -0800

Conan would fill the Hulk role. No one could do it better. Haven't read the Malazan books, have we? WITNESS!

By: Malice

Malice — Thu, 10 May 2012 17:09:33 -0800

Hermione instead of Harry? Just seems a bit odd. I mean I love Hermione but if we're talking about the best of the best, you'd kind of have to go with Harry, wouldn't you? Buffy is technically a fantasy character, therefore has my vote.

By: Mister Moofoo

Mister Moofoo — Thu, 10 May 2012 17:11:17 -0800

I thought Tor's list had a bad case of too many magicians, so I swung the pendulum the other way: Too many fighters! Uther Doul (The Scar): Master of probably every fighting style he's seen, plus he's got a magic sword that basically turns him into like a hundred guys. Logen Ninefingers (First Law series): Even more of a bruiser than Doul, he keeps on fighting until he's hamburger, and then he gets mad and The Bloody-Nine takes over, so this guy is basically the Hulk. Quentin Coldwater (The Magicians): Genius magician. Aragorn: Captain America--I mean King of Gondor. He's quite literally a born leader, and he's got way more experience than young King Arthur. Cu Chulainn: Because why not have two guys who go apeshit and kill everything in sight? Bonus points because his berserker rage is called "warp spasm". And because I wanted at least one character from ASOIAF, and there's only really one person whose power level is comparable to the rest of these cats, Daenerys Targaryen: She's tenacious, she's smart, she's fireproof and she's got dragons!

By: elizardbits

elizardbits — Thu, 10 May 2012 17:12:42 -0800

but if we're talking about the best of the best, you'd kind of have to go with Harry, wouldn't you? oh no you din't. Harry and Ron would have been screwed without Hermione. They're both stubborn hotheaded jackasses with little ability to step back and analyse problems in anything remotely resembling a rational manner. Half of Harry's success at things is pure dumb luck. Hermione is SO CLEARLY THE BETTER WITCH OH MY GOD HOW DARE YOU.

By: elizardbits

elizardbits — Thu, 10 May 2012 17:13:08 -0800

i am literally breathless with outrage

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Thu, 10 May 2012 17:13:57 -0800

I would be seriously careful about putting Quentin in charge of anything, assign Mr. Norell to keep an eye on him.

By: aubilenon

aubilenon — Thu, 10 May 2012 17:16:35 -0800

They're both stubborn hotheaded jackasses with little ability to step back and analyse problems in anything remotely resembling a rational manner. A movie where everyone is stupidly powerful and makes good decisions the whole time? Nonsense!

By: nebulawindphone

nebulawindphone — Thu, 10 May 2012 17:16:58 -0800

i always mix up Tor and Gor and my eyes bug when it's just thrown into conversation without any warnings I was just telling my wife the other day that I thought we were overdue for an "ironic," "retro" Gorean revival. Lotta hip young perverts hanging around these days who would dig that stuff if they had plausible deniability. (And come on — ironic racism? So played out. Ironic weirdly-hot nerd misogyny is where it's at.) Yeah, actually, she made that same face you're making right now. Funny, that.

By: George_Spiggott

George_Spiggott — Thu, 10 May 2012 17:18:51 -0800

Madame Vastra and Jenny. Because you not only get lizardlady victorian ninja assassin badassery but also hot interspecies lesbian luuuurve action. Then again, The Avengers isn't really a "mature readers" title, is it?

By: A dead Quaker

A dead Quaker — Thu, 10 May 2012 17:19:37 -0800

Raistlin Dammit, I came in here to say that, especially because he and Caramon are the closest thing I can think of to Thor/Loki. Also: Pug (aka Milamber), maybe also Tomas Aang Ged Buffy gets my vote too To round it out, let's go with the Gray Lensman

By: Mister Moofoo

Mister Moofoo — Thu, 10 May 2012 17:20:28 -0800

Oh, Q's not in charge. I think Aragorn can keep an eye on him. And I considered including Judah Low, just so that there wouldnt only be the one magician, but I wanted Doul in there more.

By: Mister Moofoo

Mister Moofoo — Thu, 10 May 2012 17:22:36 -0800

For comic relief, let's just throw Jon-Tom Meriwether in there, too.

By: AdamCSnider

AdamCSnider — Thu, 10 May 2012 17:25:30 -0800

Lady, from Glen Cook's The Black Company, should make the cut. Maybe she relaxes by leaving her empire every once in a while to go campaigning across the metaverse. Maybe she brings a couple of The Ten with her. Come to think of it, The Lady and The Ten comprise, essentially, that world's version of the Injustice League.

By: Phire

Phire — Thu, 10 May 2012 17:26:15 -0800

I would endorse Jenny and Madame Vastra and Quentin Coldwater and Hermione Granger. Especially Hermione Granger. I will FIGHT anyone who questions her place in the history of literary heroes.

By: elizardbits

elizardbits — Thu, 10 May 2012 17:27:34 -0800

CRAZED FISTICUFFS HIGH FIVE

By: Phire

Phire — Thu, 10 May 2012 17:28:04 -0800

YEAH

By: George_Spiggott

George_Spiggott — Thu, 10 May 2012 17:28:16 -0800

No Zelazny choices yet? Prince Corwin, or Benedict. Or Jack of Shadows, now that is a seriously awesome power.

By: Glinn

Glinn — Thu, 10 May 2012 17:31:25 -0800

From this thread I second the following nominations: Tom Bombadil (except he has the problem of the godlike powers) Aragorn (but only if played by Viggo Mortensen) Lestat (but only if NOT played by Tom Cruise or Stuart Townsend) The Tick and would like to offer Brock Samson (though it likely fails the "fantasy" test).

By: George_Spiggott

George_Spiggott — Thu, 10 May 2012 17:34:34 -0800

Cerebus is an Earth-Pig Born. Also, Popeye.

By: Chekhovian

Chekhovian — Thu, 10 May 2012 17:35:14 -0800

No Zelazny choices yet? Psssh. Maha-sam-atman could totally take Corwin. But they'd probably just go for beers instead of fighting.

By: sonic meat machine

sonic meat machine — Thu, 10 May 2012 17:39:57 -0800

@AdamCSnider, no! Karsa Orlong is strong, no doubt, but Icarium is essentially the Hulk in all particulars. He's a mild-mannered, well-learned guy until the rage descends, then he is an unequaled force for destruction.

By: Mister Moofoo

Mister Moofoo — Thu, 10 May 2012 17:40:51 -0800

If Good Magician Humphrey handed out missions, you'd lose half the team in every movie.

By: T.D. Strange

T.D. Strange — Thu, 10 May 2012 17:41:16 -0800

The Tick The Tick universe could fill out the entire roster. I would so watch that movie.

By: Strange Interlude

Strange Interlude — Thu, 10 May 2012 17:48:21 -0800

To be fair, most of the characters in the Tick universe are basically parody-Expies of already-established Marvel/DC characters, so we might as well just have the real Avengers/JLA in their place. Surprised nobody's mentioned Groo yet.

By: George_Spiggott

George_Spiggott — Thu, 10 May 2012 17:49:25 -0800

By: George_Spiggott

George_Spiggott — Thu, 10 May 2012 17:49:54 -0800

Or on didn't-preview, what Strange Interlude said.

By: T.D. Strange

T.D. Strange — Thu, 10 May 2012 17:51:48 -0800

By: kmartino

kmartino — Thu, 10 May 2012 17:52:18 -0800

Okay, I'll play: The Doctor (numbers 3, 4 or 9 - other Doctor's would bump heads with Kenobi or Holmes) Sherlock Holmes Obi Wan Kenobi Mara Jade Buffy Faith Hercules

By: Malice

Malice — Thu, 10 May 2012 17:56:39 -0800

Harry and Ron would have been screwed without Hermione. They're both stubborn hotheaded jackasses with little ability to step back and analyse problems in anything remotely resembling a rational manner. Half of Harry's success at things is pure dumb luck. Hermione is SO CLEARLY THE BETTER WITCH OH MY GOD HOW DARE YOU. posted by elizardbits at 5:12 PM on May 10 [4 favorites +] [!] i am literally breathless with outrage Breathe in, breathe out. If it makes you feel any better, I really don't care at all about the Harry Potter thing, didn't like the books and thought the movies were just 'ok'. So better to get outraged at someone who is better suited to argue the opposing point. All though I am very amused at the outburst, it made me chuckle, even if it was sarcasm.

By: Malice

Malice — Thu, 10 May 2012 17:57:35 -0800

Okay, I'll play: The Doctor (numbers 3, 4 or 9 - other Doctor's would bump heads with Kenobi or Holmes) Sherlock Holmes Obi Wan Kenobi Mara Jade Buffy Faith Hercules Buffy AND Faith? They'd be too busy being suspicious of/killing each other to get anything done.

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Thu, 10 May 2012 18:04:50 -0800

Steerpike would be, like, the best spy.

By: Slap*Happy

Slap*Happy — Thu, 10 May 2012 18:18:47 -0800

THE AVENGERS OF LOVABLE FANTASY SCOUNDRELS WELL I'M GLAD YOU ASKED. Autolycus. Grey Mouser. Inigo Montoya. Cap'n Jack Sparrow. Philip the Mouse. Moist von Lipwig. Anti-telepathy psychic tasers. Seriously. Psi-scream. Totally in-canon, dating back to the Claremont/Lee run on X-Men... Charles got decked by one planted under his desk by anti-mutant terrorists. I haven't read the issue where Iron Man deployed it, but it's plausible considering the tech was already in the hands of criminals.

By: George_Spiggott

George_Spiggott — Thu, 10 May 2012 18:28:58 -0800

Gully Foyle FTW. Post bootstrapping himself, naturally. Teleportation, acceleration, and the ability to display a blood-red version of the scary Maori warrior tattoo at will.

By: JHarris

JHarris — Thu, 10 May 2012 18:36:41 -0800

"Look everyone! Cupcakes! Cupcakes of VENGEANCE!" I am trying so hard right now not to drag PONY into this.

By: Ghidorah

Ghidorah — Thu, 10 May 2012 18:41:27 -0800

The Tick is specifically about superheroes and, unless I've missed something somewhere, isn't "more" fantasy than the Avengers itself. So it doesn't seem to qualify any more than including, say, Justice League characters would. Well, fine. Ruin all of my fun. As for the whole telepathic tazers thing, I mean, sure, it's canon, everything has been done. It doesn't mean it's all that good. And, well, for all of the set-up and pompous posturing about how Cyclops has gathered and "Extinction Team" of the world's most powerful mutants, and then they get beaten by the Avengers? Any one of the X-Men should be, or has been, powerful enough to be someone the Avengers assemble to fight (except Cyclops, because, well, eye beams?). Emma Frost should be able to take down the Avengers on her own, same as Magneto (Helicarrier? Against Magneto? How space-worthy is that thing?), and that's not even counting that Sebastian Shaw is somewhere on Utopia. /shamed at my own fanboy ranting.

By: Pogo_Fuzzybutt

Pogo_Fuzzybutt — Thu, 10 May 2012 18:51:54 -0800

Come now. As everyone who ever had to read The Once And Future King for grade eleven English knows full well, the scabbard is worth ten of the swords, for whiles ye have the scabbard upon you, ye shall never lose no blood be ye never so sore wounded, therefore keep well the scabbard always with you. Magic shield. Boom. Apropos of nothing except that I am tipsy and just had a conversation about this same quote 2 hours ago.... I used to run a guild in WoW and I gave a pre-wipe speech that went something like this : "Look, Merlin himself said to Arthur that the scabbard was worth 10 excaliburs, and it's true. The way to win is in not taking damage. So, I don't give a fuck what your DPS is just don't stand in the fucking fire for christ fucking sake. It's not exactly rocket science, here." My wife says I have fewer veins in my forehead since I quit playing WoW...

By: Malor

Malor — Thu, 10 May 2012 19:09:52 -0800

I'm really impressed that they chose Vin. She's not that well-known a character, as Sanderson is still pretty new, and that's a damn shame. The Mistborn books are first-rate. Someone up above mentioned Vimes as the Nick Fury character, but if you were going to dip into that universe, I think either Captain Carrot or Vetinari would be more likely. People like Carrot, so he'd probably be able to put a team together, and the Patrician would make them offers they couldn't refuse. Somehow, he'd know what handles he'd need to twist, even across universes. You know, it occurs to me in passing that even minor Discworld characters are more interesting than heroes that have carried entire series, in the hands of other writers. In thinking about strong fantasy characters, it occurs to me that The Nameless One from Planescape: Torment, a man who can't be permanently killed, would be a good choice. Even if his powers are constrained by D&D rules, being able to get back up, over and over, makes up for many weaknesses. Thomas Covenant would make a good antihero.

By: Malor

Malor — Thu, 10 May 2012 19:12:20 -0800

"Look, Merlin himself said to Arthur that the scabbard was worth 10 excaliburs, and it's true. The way to win is in not taking damage. So, I don't give a fuck what your DPS is just don't stand in the fucking fire for christ fucking sake. It's not exactly rocket science, here." Some years ago, I saw the Illidari Council described as the Superbowl of Not Standing In Things.

By: robocop is bleeding

robocop is bleeding — Thu, 10 May 2012 19:15:03 -0800

Man, late to the thread but have to contribute, based on Avengers (movie) roles: Nick Fury -> Master Li, Bridge of Birds. You need a knowledgeable manager who you cannot entirely trust. Captain America -> Aragorn. A team leader with proven results from a bygone age. Iron Man -> Hermione Granger. A know it all genius who is personable, but does not have time for stupids. (Plus, Ron in jean shorts amirite?) Hulk -> Conan. Seriously, is there any other choice? Thor -> Aviendha. Badass heavy with relationship problems. Black Widow -> Locke Lamora. Devious, uses what he is to gt what he wants. Hawkeye -> Madmartigan. Dude does what needs to get done.

By: Malor

Malor — Thu, 10 May 2012 19:15:08 -0800

Oh, another thought on this: being able to get back up, over and over, makes up for many weaknesses. It's run through my head many times, when faced with a difficult challenge in a computer game, that savegames are the ultimate superpower.

By: Palquito

Palquito — Thu, 10 May 2012 19:21:21 -0800

Heh heh. Thomas Covenant Severus Snape Tyrion Lannister Turin Turambar Vlad Taltos Harry Dresden Gerald Tarrant

By: munchingzombie

munchingzombie — Thu, 10 May 2012 19:22:21 -0800

Oh, let's add Robocop, Brainy Smurf, Tom Waits, and Captin' Crunch! This thread is the geekiest corner of the internet and I want to write slash-fic about the lot of you. Mwa!

By: robocop is bleeding

robocop is bleeding — Thu, 10 May 2012 19:22:55 -0800

So who would be Loki, Red Skull, Abomination, Mandarin...

By: Ber

Ber — Thu, 10 May 2012 19:32:56 -0800

Hulk:Conan Captain America: Aragorn Iron Man: Locke Lamora Hawkeye: Neville Longbottom Black Widow: Daenerys Targaryen (hey, she's a widow and she can always bring her kids along. They play well with others. Well no, but we need the firepower.)

By: Slap*Happy

Slap*Happy — Thu, 10 May 2012 19:39:02 -0800

People like Carrot, so he'd probably be able to put a team together, and the Patrician would make them offers they couldn't refuse. Yes, but the Patrician's and Carrot's abilities have a limit - when people stop liking one or fearing the other, when blackmail and bribery and flattery won't work, when every plan laid is useless, when the odds are overwhelmingly against them, when all they have to work with are broken, scared and mismatched people, when no-one knows what to do and no-one seems to care, - that's when you stop needing Carrot and Vetinari, and start needing Vimes. The only real question is, Ogg or Weatherwax or Aching? Nanny is the underdog here, but her indestructibility, vitality and her ability to get strong personalities to work well together may play better to the team dynamic.

By: sonic meat machine

sonic meat machine — Thu, 10 May 2012 19:40:07 -0800

Hmm. Metafilter slash fiction. . o O (

The Whelk's post hit the front page with a thud. The other mefites, perched around the periphery of the room, looked at it askance. The usual suspects sneered; some flagged it and moved on, while others considered attacking it, running their gnarled hands across their keyboards and thinking about the way the post would crumble under their words. Others ran their eyes over the body of the thing, lingering on its salient points, drifting across the smooth expanses of its text. A few of them smirked and marked it a favorite, thinking about the possibilities the young post offered them. Memo was the first to get into it, putting his piece in as soon as possible, not even waiting for the post to warm up before he got started. Others waited a bit, knowing that a young post is more fun as more people begin to participate. The post screamed: "Read my link! Comment! Yes!" as The Whelk smiled proudly and looked on.

) I don't like this idea.

By: effugas

effugas — Thu, 10 May 2012 19:44:08 -0800

I always thought the appeal of Lord of the Rings is that the villains are clearly superpowered, but the heroes aren't. Frodo gets to wear the ring to go invisible, but it drains him, and Sam basically carries him through. The supposed superpowered characters (Tom, Gandalf) may be powerful, might be powerful, but the story is not about them and so whatever power they have is only hinted at, rarely shown and barely displayed at that. It's not like you see Gandalf the White reborn. Dude goes up against the Balrog and *dies*. Eventually, he comes back through some offscreen magic. Why offscreen? Because it's *not his story*. I bring this up because that makes Gandalf inherently *not* Avenger style. LOTR fans make up some crazy reasons why the guy is super powerful, but at the end of the day, the character isn't a Hero, he's a Mentor.

By: George_Spiggott

George_Spiggott — Thu, 10 May 2012 19:49:56 -0800

I dunno, Cap'n Crunch may be just a bit too powerful for the Avengers. Kind of like Superman, The Sentry, Galactus and, more powerful than all of them put together by a couple of orders of magnitude, Lazlo Hollyfeld. Though an ordinary person wearing Hollyfeld's pajamas would probably be at an appropriate power level.

By: Artw

Artw — Thu, 10 May 2012 19:58:23 -0800

Mainly this illustrating the huge gap I have in my knowledge of fantasy fiction from the end of the 80s onwards. Actually I'm kind of okay with that. Anyway, Epic Fantasy The Defenders is a way cooler question. I'm gonna go left field and suggest Elric for Namor.

By: straight

straight — Thu, 10 May 2012 20:04:54 -0800

Who Would Make Up The Epic Fantasy Version Of The Avengers? If the question is Who Did Make Up the Epic Fantasy Version of the Avengers, the answer is Kulan Gath.

By: elizardbits

elizardbits — Thu, 10 May 2012 20:07:20 -0800

So better to get outraged at someone who is better suited to argue the opposing point. noooo we must fight to the death

By: His thoughts were red thoughts

His thoughts were red thoughts — Thu, 10 May 2012 20:13:43 -0800

Thomas Covenant would make a good antihero. I don't know, it's not like you can kill a lot of bad guys with "wah wah wah, I have leprosy". Except maybe they'll die of boredom.

By: elizardbits

elizardbits — Thu, 10 May 2012 20:16:33 -0800

Yeah, definitely not the Donaldson character I would've picked. Maybe post-cyborgening Angus Thermopylae. Not really fantasy though.

By: Chekhovian

Chekhovian — Thu, 10 May 2012 20:17:29 -0800

it's not like you can kill a lot of bad guys with "wah wah wah, I have leprosy" Well, he could bleed all over them or something...you know, whatever it takes to transmit the disease.

By: scrowdid

scrowdid — Thu, 10 May 2012 20:18:07 -0800

DangerMouse Groo the Wanderer Yoda The Blob Rhett Butler Spock Mr. Wizard Ornella Muti

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Thu, 10 May 2012 20:18:37 -0800

but if you were going to dip into that universe I think we are all missing someone. Sure Moist is the smart Con man who always comes out on top ( and Bella Adore would be with him, natch), Ventenari has near godlike powers of strategy and forthought ( and is an assassin ), Vimes can get through anything through sheer willpower and bacon sandwiches and Susan fights monsters twelve times before breakfest ( and may or may not be dating the manifestation of Time ) Granny Weatherwax is on speaking terms with Death Itself, but when the back is against the against the wall and all hope is lost, who invariably saves the day only to return to his quiet life after? Who fits the Avengers ideal of being called upon when things are at thier bleakest? The Librarian.

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Thu, 10 May 2012 20:19:47 -0800

Mrs. Cake, like Squirrel Girl, is off limits.

By: nebulawindphone

nebulawindphone — Thu, 10 May 2012 20:29:16 -0800

Well, he could bleed all over them or something...you know, whatever it takes to transmit the disease. Cuddling with armadillos, apparently.

By: blue_beetle

blue_beetle — Thu, 10 May 2012 20:31:32 -0800

Q? Q! Q.

By: His thoughts were red thoughts

His thoughts were red thoughts — Thu, 10 May 2012 20:49:49 -0800

Well, he could bleed all over them or something...you know, whatever it takes to transmit the disease. Cuddling with armadillos, apparently. A superhero that threw leprous armadillos at people as a primary attack would be pretty intimidating, if not particularly well respected or liked.

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Thu, 10 May 2012 21:05:13 -0800

Aaaaand were back to the Tick.

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Thu, 10 May 2012 21:08:57 -0800

Well the Sandman is fantasy and has an epic scope, the Endless are out due to Godly powers but the supporting cast? Lucifer? Doesnt Rose still have the heart of dreaming? Lyta was pretty much crushed the experience by she's still, technically, a superhero. Oh wait. It is beyond obvious. Thessaly.

By: porpoise

porpoise — Thu, 10 May 2012 21:12:42 -0800

Haha. It's awesome seeing people's different responses, especially early on in this thread. Kinda like a snapshot of what people have read and loved. To borrow from sonic meat machine: The Hon'rable Leader: I have to go with bonehead's suggestion of Corwin. It's not like he has anything better to do than play pretend on (3rd?) shadow Earth, now. Has skills, knowledge, and contacts in this (kinda) era. I could easily see him having slow-motion master plans regarding his Pattern vs. The Pattern and the Logrus; factions that his team could be (ultimately) fighting while (seemingly) trying to promote general order in this world (ie, saving massive numbers of civilians from harm). Powerful Antihero: Elric of Melnibone, maybe pick him up after he had helped kill the other-cosmic siblings who were sucking this universe's energy dry. Take his mind off being melded with the other Eternal Champions, ie., help him realize that not all self-sacrificing superbeings are incarnations of him. Grumpy Juggernaut: Sorry sleepyblackdeath, can't go with your suggestion because he ain't. Someone suggested Puck? earlier upthread? Feels right, but I don't know the character well enough. Personally, I'd go for Detritus. With his dwarven helm to keep him cool. Kind of a reverse Hulk. Detritus SMASH without his helm. Detritus is cunning and deceptive and armageddonish with it on. Lethal Assassin: I dunno. No favourites, not from fantasy. Jaqen H'ghar from ASoFaI, or a grown-up Arya Stark, perhaps. Useless and Underpowered: Sansa Stark, I agree; although the "uselessness" and "underpowerednessness" is very likely just an introduction and not her near-future (post book 5) fate. Can't think of any over-rated but ultimately under-self reliant fantasy icon right now, whom I actually like. Would love Susan Death on the squad but she doesn't fit the description At. All. Replace useless and underpowered with dismissive of power thrust upon, and unwilling to use her abilities without forethought. Susan Death becomes the conscience of the team. And the pragmatic leader when Corwin gets held up with his issues. Nondescript Hero with Norse Overtones: Shadow. Thor and Hulk kinda fill similar redundant roles (tank). Shadow would make this team a lot more down-to-earth/introspective. Basically the SOUL of this team. The only person who's actually "human."

By: Malor

Malor — Thu, 10 May 2012 21:13:06 -0800

That's why Covenant is an antihero -- he's useless, he's useless, he's useless, HE HAS GODLIKE POWER WHEN THE CHIPS ARE DOWN, oh he's dead, oops.

By: Malor

Malor — Thu, 10 May 2012 21:14:05 -0800

Well, maybe antihero's the wrong word, but he's terribly annoying, and then has vast cosmic power when he really needs it.

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Thu, 10 May 2012 21:22:09 -0800

Yeah but Shadow is basically Baldr, his powers aren't in anything he does but in his death. From another angle, a cameo by Crowley and aziraphale would be fun.

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Thu, 10 May 2012 21:25:01 -0800

And for your sci fi but basically fantasy lovecraftian crossover event, they have to fight some beats from the Dungeon Dimensions and are at a loss until a mild mannered British civil servant named Bob Howard shows up to give some advice.

By: His thoughts were red thoughts

His thoughts were red thoughts — Thu, 10 May 2012 21:25:51 -0800

Yeah, Crowley was my pick for the wisecracking smartarse Iron Man replacement.

By: happyroach

happyroach — Thu, 10 May 2012 21:40:22 -0800

Now I want to toss off the anime version of the Avengers: Thor: Son Goku- uber-powerful, good natured. What more do you need? Hulk: EVA-02- a force of nature that's under control until it goes berserk. Iron Man Simon of Gurren Lagann- Well, he has a powered armor at least. Captain America: Captain Harlock- tactician, leader, and more man than you'll ever be. Hawkeye: Vash the Stampede- more of a marksman than Hawkeye, keep him on the "low" setting. Black Widow: Fujiko Mine- has the femme fatal position locked down.

By: His thoughts were red thoughts

His thoughts were red thoughts — Thu, 10 May 2012 21:42:49 -0800

Yeah but Shadow is basically Baldr, his powers aren't in anything he does but in his death. Not basically, is. His given name is Baldur - it's mentioned in the novella Monarch of the Glen, which appears in Gaiman's collection Fragile Things.

By: NoraReed

NoraReed — Thu, 10 May 2012 21:47:26 -0800

See, this is similar, but not the same, as my Ultimate Adventuring Party Game/Conversation Starter, the rules for which are:

You get six characters: A fighter, a rogue, a healer/medic, a mage, and two extras.
One character must be designated a non-combatant, one a diplomat, and one a leader. These can be placed on any character (usually people make one of their extra characters a non-combatant diplomat, but some people make their medics non-combatants.)
You may only choose one character from any individual work (TV show, video game, series of novels, etc.) You may choose only 2 from any individual creator (production company, DC or Marvel, etc: this is so people don't pick all Final Fantasy or Joss Whedon characters mostly).
The characters are expected to work together. Don't put Deadpool on a team with Gandalf. Really, you probably shouldn't be putting Deadpool on a team at all, but whatever.
OPTIONAL BONUS: You can also get an adorable animal companion (who is not really super useful in other ways, unless you decide to nerf someone else on your team to pick something awesome, or they can assume to be bound or something) + a base or vehicle. The rules about multiple characters from the same work/creator don't apply here; go ahead and take both Ms. Frizzle and the School Bus, Doctor and the Tardis, etc. If you want.

By: stet

stet — Thu, 10 May 2012 22:26:35 -0800

Lovecraft, huh. Remember the guy in the movie with the Captain America trading cards? Totally Erich Zahn.

By: Phire

Phire — Thu, 10 May 2012 22:49:45 -0800

Coulson is so much more than just "the guy with the trading cards"...! Now I am truly outraged.

By: His thoughts were red thoughts

His thoughts were red thoughts — Thu, 10 May 2012 23:12:59 -0800

The 'guy with the trading cards' could kick your arse up and down the street.

By: BurnChao

BurnChao — Thu, 10 May 2012 23:18:02 -0800

Half of Harry's success at things is pure dumb luck. And the other half of his success's were actually Hermoine's. Hell, the only thing he was actually good at was sitting on a stick and playing sky marbles.

By: His thoughts were red thoughts

His thoughts were red thoughts — Thu, 10 May 2012 23:31:46 -0800

Now I want to toss off the anime version of the Avengers: You have to have Alucard as your powerful anti-hero.

By: Ivan Fyodorovich

Ivan Fyodorovich — Fri, 11 May 2012 01:07:46 -0800

I love this thread. "SQUEE, someone else who likes The Lies Of Locke Lamora." I consider that one of the five or so best fantasy novels I've read in the last ten years and I've read a whole boatload of fantasy novels in the last ten years. Like, a couple hundred. I'm perturbed reading this thread when I encounter a character I don't recognize. But, yeah, I think Kvothe is a good trickster character, but Locke would be best. Another possibility might be ELizabeth Bear's Kit Marlow. How about Jemison's Sieh? He's a trickster god, so maybe he's overpowered. And I'm really glad someone mentioned Cook's The Lady. Back when she still had all her magic, of course. Which means she might not really be one of the good guys, unless she had fallen in love with one of them. And she might be overpowered if there are other overpowered characters included. Still, I love The Lady. I mean, I develop a serious crush on her each time I read the series (three, now, I think). When she kills everyone in that one village and mounts all their heads on pikes? That was cool. I swooned. And, yeah, Icarium is The Hulk. No question. The other suggestions aren't bad, but Icarium really is the fantasy version of The Hulk. He basically has a dual personality. As mentioned, he's very nice and extremely intelligent and you'd never expect him to turn into this insanely rage-filled force of nature. I guess the only problem is that Icarium is really in the demigod realm (why didn't he ever ascend, by the way?). The whole point of that character is that some of the times he's lost it he's actually threatened the entire world in one fashion or another. Continents shake when Icarium goes nuts. And I'm glad someone mentioned another notable Erikson character, Anomander Rake. He'd have to be the leader, wouldn't he? Karsa Orlong and Logen Nine-fingers are also not bad choices for this role. They are pretty similar, though I love Logen and I pretty much always hated Orlong (weird that many fans really liked him). And Karsa doesn't actually rage out and lose control so much as just finding excuses to become an unstoppable killing machine. I'm not sure he actually gets that angry. Or, rather, that he's that much more angry when he's killing than he is all the time with that well of simmering rage that's ever-present. Basically, Karsa is a villain who plays the role of a hero for some reason. But Logen is actually a pretty nice guy until he rages out and becomes the Nine-fingers who will cut off he head of his best friend and comrade because he happens to be in the way. That guy is actually pretty evil, not just angry. Which isn't like The Hulk, really. Yay! for the mention of Susan! Also, Esk. Esk and Hermione are both good for that role and I am deeply fond of both characters. I like that someone mentioned Anton Gorodetski from Lukyanenko's Night Watch series. I think I would have gone with Semyon, though. As someone mentioned Harry Dresden, I want to nominate Rachel Morgan.

By: monkey closet

monkey closet — Fri, 11 May 2012 01:29:30 -0800

Lu tze

By: obiwanwasabi

obiwanwasabi — Fri, 11 May 2012 04:57:45 -0800

Captain America: Roger Ramjet Hawkeye: Weehawk Hulk: Unicron Black Widow: Penny Thor: He-Man Iron Man: Jamie and the Magic Torch

By: Slap*Happy

Slap*Happy — Fri, 11 May 2012 05:26:47 -0800

Captain America: Tommy Pickles Hawkeye: Little Pete Wrigley Hulk: Heffier Black Widow: Patty Mayonaise Thor: Ren Hoek Iron Man: Stimpson J. Cat

By: CBrachyrhynchos

CBrachyrhynchos — Fri, 11 May 2012 05:36:20 -0800

Gandalf in my opinion falls well under the no Aslan clause since he's more guardian angel than wizard.

By: biffa

biffa — Fri, 11 May 2012 05:45:03 -0800

Hawkeye: Ranger Captain America: Cavalier Black Widow: Acrobat Thor: Barbarian Hulk: Magician (He's pacific generally and mostly green, thus representing the duality of the character.) Iron Man: Oh dear, paradigm fail.

By: dirtdirt

dirtdirt — Fri, 11 May 2012 06:41:10 -0800

Also, Popeye. YES. But who is he - the Hulk?

By: mobunited

mobunited — Fri, 11 May 2012 07:16:28 -0800

Whoever feeds Stormbringer best is fine.

By: Slap*Happy

Slap*Happy — Fri, 11 May 2012 07:29:01 -0800

YES. But who is he - the Hulk? Thor - he's tough on his own, but he opens the spinach to bring the thunder!

By: octobersurprise

octobersurprise — Fri, 11 May 2012 07:40:58 -0800

You know, I'd been trying to come up with someone from Lovecraft, but I couldn't. Randolph Carter, obvs. My knowledge of contemporary fantasy is pretty shallow, so here's the Hanna-Barbera version of the Avengers, instead:

Dexter
Atom Ant
Space Ghost
Hong Kong Phooey
Grape Ape
Velma Dinkley

By: Herodios

Herodios — Fri, 11 May 2012 07:57:51 -0800

Your 'epic fantasy' mileage may differ:

Buckaroo Bonzai: The only team leader to out-doc-savage Doc Savage himself. Clark Savage was many things, but he was never in rock-n-roll band.
The Rocketeer: A flying Ironman with technology designed by a playboy billionaire industrialist. Has better lines than any version of Tony Stark.
Groo the Wanderer: Berzerker, part Hulk, part Wolverine.
Ace Rimmer: Confidence makes all the difference; a legend in his own mind.
Spock: Brains plus the ability to develop new 'powers' as the plot requires.
Brucilla the Muscle: A lovable, fallible She-Hulk, can out-fight, out-curse, out-drink any man, and is a command pilot; Mama spank!
The Fonz: Has the same powers as Scarlet Witch, but wears a much cooler outfit.

By: Phire

Phire — Fri, 11 May 2012 08:14:02 -0800

Omg, Dexter from Hanna-Barbera! The ~~inner~~ fanfic addict in me is in heaven.

By: Vindaloo

Vindaloo — Fri, 11 May 2012 08:22:38 -0800

My choices The Leader: Aragorn The Reliable Loner: Drizzt The Big Gun: Conan The Girl: Buffy The Genius: Hermione The Oddball: Tasslehoff Burrfoot

By: CBrachyrhynchos

CBrachyrhynchos — Fri, 11 May 2012 08:23:37 -0800

Groo the Wanderer ... The Fonz Awesome with epic sprinkles on top.

By: the_artificer

the_artificer — Fri, 11 May 2012 08:33:56 -0800

Solomon Kane should fit in there somewhere.

By: Herodios

Herodios — Fri, 11 May 2012 08:58:03 -0800

Okay, now how about a 1960s TV all-grrl team:

Emma Peel: a real avenger
Samantha Stevens: witch
Jeannie: genie
Rhoda AF709*: android robot
Phoebe Figalilly: clairvoiyant nanny
Wrangler Jane Thrift: crack shot
Elly May Clampett: martial artist (rasslin'), speaker to animal

* Seven o' Nine?

By: Slap*Happy

Slap*Happy — Fri, 11 May 2012 10:22:53 -0800

Herodios - too much overlap between Samantha and Jeannie. I'd go with the savvy intellect of Samantha Stevens. In Jeannie's place, we need someone who keeps it together when it hits the fan, someone with real leadership and technical expertise. We need Lieutenant Uhura.

By: George_Spiggott

George_Spiggott — Fri, 11 May 2012 10:53:57 -0800

She'll open up some hailing frequencies on your ass.

By: bonehead

bonehead — Fri, 11 May 2012 11:30:34 -0800

Maurice Sendak's* Avengers *actually Hannah Friederichs'. via IO9

By: Halloween Jack

Halloween Jack — Fri, 11 May 2012 15:48:04 -0800

80s pop culture. Difficulty level: can't include any of these people (including the ones mentioned in the text) or Buckaroo Banzai, and has to have actually been around in the 80s, so sadly Snake Plissken isn't available. The Leader: Dr. Peter Venkman, Ghostbusters The Lancer: Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice The Big Guy: Ricky Linderman, My Bodyguard The Smart Guy: Brian Johnson, The Breakfast Club The Chick: Christie, Ninja III: The Domination The Sixth Ranger: John Rambo, First Blood

By: Halloween Jack

Halloween Jack — Fri, 11 May 2012 15:49:43 -0800

Dang it! By "these people" I mean these people.

By: Halloween Jack

Halloween Jack — Fri, 11 May 2012 16:02:55 -0800

And while I'm at it, I'm swapping out Brian Johnson (sorry, Anthony Michael Hall) for Chris Knight from Real Genius, although I'm tempted to throw in Mitch instead.

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Fri, 11 May 2012 16:37:26 -0800

Gizmo.

By: Tom-B

Tom-B — Fri, 11 May 2012 18:16:29 -0800

Jesus would be too boring, he'd just forgive and turn the other cheek.

By: Artw

Artw — Fri, 11 May 2012 18:24:34 -0800

Like King Arthur, the real question would be "Which Jesus"? I'd lean towards teh fucking crazy one that evangelicals like, whose coming back to Earth to wipe out all the sinners with laser beam eyes. On the other hand, he's a bit scarey.

By: Ber

Ber — Fri, 11 May 2012 19:38:42 -0800

And while I'm at it, I'm swapping out Brian Johnson (sorry, Anthony Michael Hall) for Chris Knight from Real Genius, although I'm tempted to throw in Mitch instead Nope, Chris Knight is the correct pick. If he needs backup, he'd go to Lazlo, not Mitch.

By: psycho-alchemy

psycho-alchemy — Sat, 12 May 2012 07:05:58 -0800

I thought you guys might be interested in seeing how these characters (hypothetically) stand up to each other. Only one way Cage Match Anyway they have tournaments for 2010-12. Hope someone else enjoys.