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The uncanniest of valleys
May 11, 2012 10:10 AM   Subscribe


 
Oh my god it's all my christmases come at once.
posted by elizardbits at 10:14 AM on May 11, 2012 [6 favorites]


BUTTOCKS HUMANOID ROBOT
posted by elizardbits at 10:14 AM on May 11, 2012


Only slightly less creepy than this.
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 10:16 AM on May 11, 2012 [2 favorites]


"I do asses. Just...just asses. Just genetic design. Just asses. You Nexus, huh? I design your ass."
posted by Iridic at 10:17 AM on May 11, 2012 [41 favorites]


is anyone else as turned on as I am right now?
posted by The Whelk at 10:19 AM on May 11, 2012 [1 favorite]




Life imitates (M)ass Effect?
posted by CBrachyrhynchos at 10:20 AM on May 11, 2012


Wow, the world's first robutt.
posted by Homeboy Trouble at 10:21 AM on May 11, 2012 [3 favorites]


Can it fart, too? Because an ass that can't fart really isn't capable of expressing itself fully.
posted by doctor_negative at 10:22 AM on May 11, 2012 [4 favorites]


Well, that's the Cronenbergiest thing I've seen all day.
posted by brundlefly at 10:23 AM on May 11, 2012 [10 favorites]


Christ, what an asshole.
posted by Sidhedevil at 10:25 AM on May 11, 2012 [4 favorites]


"The user may feel SHIRI's fear when they trigger SHIRI's "Twitch" upon first contact."

"The user also may feel SHIRI bracing after feeling a slap from the user."

:|
posted by TwelveTwo at 10:25 AM on May 11, 2012 [2 favorites]


Now I would like to see a video of a dinosaur fleeing in terror from the robobutt.
posted by elizardbits at 10:25 AM on May 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


Wow, the world's first robutt.

Zoidberg: What am I chopped liver maybe?
posted by DU at 10:26 AM on May 11, 2012 [3 favorites]


It's like the inverse of one of those Brookstone massage chairs.
posted by backseatpilot at 10:26 AM on May 11, 2012 [2 favorites]


Wait...what emotions were they expecting to be able to express using buttocks? "I hope the teacher doesn't call on me"?
posted by DU at 10:28 AM on May 11, 2012


This butt, it vibrates?
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 10:28 AM on May 11, 2012 [2 favorites]


So it's one of these, only for Ace Ventura?
posted by Faint of Butt at 10:28 AM on May 11, 2012


Since when did the "motion" of the buttocks have an "e" at the beginning?
posted by obscurator at 10:29 AM on May 11, 2012


Hundreds of real doll fans breathlessly await the robot recreation of Maggie Gyllenhaal from Secretary.
posted by naju at 10:30 AM on May 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


This is my amazed face.
posted by kinnakeet at 10:30 AM on May 11, 2012


You have no idea how much I wish, for eponysterical purposes, that I could get youtube at work at this moment.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:32 AM on May 11, 2012 [8 favorites]


They laughed at my robotic elbow! Well I'll show them. I'LL SHOW THEM ALL!
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 10:34 AM on May 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


Directed by David Lynch.
posted by carter at 10:35 AM on May 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


Can it fart, too? Because an ass that can't fart really isn't capable of expressing itself fully.

I really thought that's where they were going with this. I was hoping for sensuously crafted flatulent melodies; soaring trumpet calls; coy toots; deep, throaty roars; rapturous squeals. By comparison, the relative inertness of this hunk of ass is doubly disturbing.
posted by invitapriore at 10:35 AM on May 11, 2012 [3 favorites]


You have reached the end of the internet. Thank you for riding, you may go home now, there is nothing left to see.
posted by HuronBob at 10:36 AM on May 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


EmpressCallipygos: "You have no idea how much I wish, for eponysterical purposes, that I could get youtube at work at this moment."

Callyigian -- New Words with Stiv Hrnjak.
posted by symbioid at 10:44 AM on May 11, 2012


(ugh. misspell. meh)
posted by symbioid at 10:44 AM on May 11, 2012


Christ, what an Asshole 4000.
posted by phaedon at 10:54 AM on May 11, 2012 [2 favorites]


Does it come with pistachios?
posted by ryanrs at 10:58 AM on May 11, 2012


Maybe they can program it to take a shit right in the uncanny valley.
posted by R. Schlock at 11:03 AM on May 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


Soon, the world shall know the glory of the five-assed robot.
posted by jquinby at 11:05 AM on May 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


This research will be of great value if we ever encounter an alien species with a non-verbal ass-based form of communication. I can see it in my mind's eye right now, like Star Trek except the Vulcan and human ambassadors are enthusiastically slapping each other on the buttocks.
posted by XMLicious at 11:06 AM on May 11, 2012 [2 favorites]


For a confidence booster, it comes with a starter $10 of pennies.
posted by shakespeherian at 11:10 AM on May 11, 2012 [2 favorites]


Surely that is already an extant Star Trek fanfic.
posted by elizardbits at 11:10 AM on May 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


Can we make "slapping a disembodied ass" be the new "flogging a dead horse"?
posted by naju at 11:12 AM on May 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


Of all the times for the bennyhillifier not to be working. ಠ_ಠ
posted by jquinby at 11:14 AM on May 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


XMLicious: "This research will be of great value if we ever encounter an alien species with a non-verbal ass-based form of communication. I can see it in my mind's eye right now, like Star Trek except the Vulcan and human ambassadors are enthusiastically slapping each other on the buttocks."

Or you can just watch this (non-canon) Dr Who clip.
posted by WaylandSmith at 11:30 AM on May 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


"Shiri" is Japanese for "butt."
posted by Nomyte at 11:32 AM on May 11, 2012


Come clean. This is just a way to get us to stare at a butt for several minutes.

Didn't George Orwell, or maybe some guy in a 70s dystopian sci-fi movie, warn us about something like this, or something?
posted by JHarris at 11:33 AM on May 11, 2012


there is a really low hurdle involved in getting me to look at a butt.
posted by The Whelk at 11:41 AM on May 11, 2012 [3 favorites]


Hey look, The Whelk, a butt.
posted by shakespeherian at 11:46 AM on May 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


A leaf slowly falls.
posted by The Whelk at 12:00 PM on May 11, 2012


BUTT-BOT!
posted by crazy_yeti at 12:09 PM on May 11, 2012


Metafilter: a non-verbal ass-based form of communication.
posted by CynicalKnight at 12:31 PM on May 11, 2012


JHarris, I assumed this was just a transparent method of getting some research money to create a more realistic sex doll. Because if this technology doesn't end up in a sex doll, I will be really, really surprised.

Seriously, if you want to make a robot emotion test thingy, you make a face. Not an ass.
posted by caution live frogs at 12:37 PM on May 11, 2012


No description available.
posted by DarkForest at 12:55 PM on May 11, 2012


Seriously, if you want to make a robot emotion test thingy, you make a face. Not an ass.

Probably would have been more useful if they included a correctly modeled sphincter.
posted by backseatpilot at 12:57 PM on May 11, 2012


Probably would have been more useful if they included a correctly modeled sphincter.

One step at a time.

posted by backseatpilot

Oh, sorry, judging by the name alone, you would probably know a lot more about this than me!
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 1:12 PM on May 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


This will have to do.
posted by jquinby at 1:16 PM on May 11, 2012 [2 favorites]


Oddly enough Spark Fun has a new product showcase today that includes the FLATUS device. I'm sure it could work as an add on.
posted by plinth at 1:21 PM on May 11, 2012 [1 favorite]


*beepbeep* "Shiri, What are you going to do with all that junk inside your trunk?" *beepbeep*

"I'm sorry, i do not understand. Would you like to ass another question?"
posted by orme at 4:24 PM on May 11, 2012


This belongs at the Whitney Biennial
posted by ReeMonster at 4:33 PM on May 11, 2012


The first 60 seconds felt like a Matthew Barney movie. Then for a few seconds I felt like I was watching Secretary. Then Matthew Barney again.
posted by matildaben at 7:56 PM on May 11, 2012


Bite my fleshy metal ass!
posted by bicyclefish at 11:17 PM on May 11, 2012


orme: "*beepbeep* "Shiri, What are you going to do with all that junk inside your trunk?" *beepbeep*"

"Arse, not to reason why."
posted by vanar sena at 11:21 PM on May 11, 2012


I like robotic butts and I cannot lie,
You other brothers can deny
But when a butt is round,
And it's severed at the waist
Get that silicon in my face
Built from springs, and some rubber too
But the software is the glue
I'm hooked and my balls turn blue
The programmer tried to warn me
But robot butts makes me so horny...
posted by PeterMcDermott at 12:04 AM on May 12, 2012 [2 favorites]


i really like the idea of the last bookmark i ever save being for a shallow-crack full-range emotive butt-robot
posted by facetious at 1:10 AM on May 12, 2012


There is a collection of Cthulhu Mythos stories that Del Ray puts out that has one of those on the cover, hanging from a meathook.
posted by JHarris at 4:04 AM on May 12, 2012


I have that book. The meathook butt is on the spine (I can see it in my bookcase from where I'm sitting). Now whenever I look at the cover I will think of the pneumatic actuator sound of the "twitch" (e)motion of this robutt.
posted by Existential Dread at 2:46 PM on May 12, 2012


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