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That bikini looks painted on.
May 13, 2012 8:14 PM   Subscribe

PornSFW - pictures of porn made "SFW". Probably mostly NSFW anyway.
posted by Burhanistan (29 comments total) 22 users marked this as a favorite

 
(My current favorite)
posted by Burhanistan at 8:21 PM on May 13, 2012


See also previously:

Celebrating pornographers who go the extra mile when set dressing classroom porn and actually write something on the blackboard. What do they write, and is it correct? (NSFW? No screenshots contain nudity, but Justice Stewart would know it if he saw it)
posted by Blasdelb at 8:23 PM on May 13, 2012 [3 favorites]


When I laugh at shit like this, I realize I am not even close to as smart as I think I am.
posted by Uppity Pigeon #2 at 8:23 PM on May 13, 2012 [4 favorites]


I know I've seen this kind of thing before, I don't know if it was from here or somewhere else, though.
posted by delmoi at 8:25 PM on May 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


In video form (action starts a few seconds in).
posted by gman at 8:25 PM on May 13, 2012 [2 favorites]


I appreciate the non-heteronormativity, also this Oblivion reference
posted by Blasdelb at 8:28 PM on May 13, 2012 [2 favorites]


Best.
posted by shakespeherian at 8:31 PM on May 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


I don't know, what seems to be the most interesting part of this to me is that it highlights how degrading porn often is by turning it into a bizarre non-sequitor.
posted by Blasdelb at 8:35 PM on May 13, 2012 [13 favorites]


For some reason I find this stuff way creepier than the stuff it's sanitizing.

As usual, of course, Brother Patton explains it way better.
posted by HostBryan at 8:36 PM on May 13, 2012 [3 favorites]


I know I've seen this kind of thing before, I don't know if it was from here or somewhere else, though.

Yup. Old meme.
posted by vidur at 8:56 PM on May 13, 2012


Diesel made an advert using this idea a while back too.
posted by msbutah at 9:04 PM on May 13, 2012 [2 favorites]


These are cute but I laughed only when they're based upon some cultural reference or known images.

You could find the latter most easily by googling "[known image] sfw porn" rather than combing their site, which ultimately leads us here. I'm out, ciao!

If that last makes no sense, consider yourself blessed : Do not seek an explanation. Do not read the comments or caption. Do not google any unknown phrases you find there. I'm serious.
posted by jeffburdges at 9:13 PM on May 13, 2012 [2 favorites]


Take that, Dracula!
posted by XMLicious at 9:45 PM on May 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


known* images

*Always reminds me of this
posted by jason_steakums at 10:03 PM on May 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


Yeah, I find this creepy too. The women are still generally in quite vulnerable and/or humiliating positions. The cobra one may be an exception.
posted by Listener at 10:15 PM on May 13, 2012


I'm pretty sure that most of these images were ripped off from the Something Awful forums. The Diesel video sourced images from Something Awful with permission, but this looks like someone scraped GBS & the archives, stuck a watermark on the images and then posted them on their ad-supported site.
posted by one.louder.ash! at 10:20 PM on May 13, 2012 [2 favorites]


Oh man, I love these. Some work better than others, but I love this one and this one.

Both are relatively old in that I've seen them years ago; but who doesn't love Jack Sparrow and corn?
(that was a rhetorical question)
posted by Bonky Moon at 11:13 PM on May 13, 2012


Finally, I have some porn to browse while drinking my non-alcoholic beer.
posted by tommorris at 11:30 PM on May 13, 2012 [2 favorites]


shakespeherian: "Best."

Wow. That one is actually a work of philosophical art.
posted by iamkimiam at 12:07 AM on May 14, 2012


Diesel made an advert using this idea a while back too.

That Diesel ad was made by the always wonderful Keith Schofield, who has made at least one other SFW (but really NSFW) video.
posted by Panjandrum at 1:38 AM on May 14, 2012 [5 favorites]


I've been going over back issues of The Pearl, the notorious sex rag of the Victorian Era, and sanitizing the text for modern ears. For example,

Throwing myself on my back, my feet towards her head, my bare arse against
hers, my prick stiff and erect as a rod of ivory tipped with red, I told my inamorata to
lower her legs on my body. As she did so I had my battering ram right to the point,
and she DECIDED TO SHOP, ENJOYING THE EXCEPTIONAL VALUES AVAILABLE NOW AT YOUR LOCAL WALMART.

posted by twoleftfeet at 1:50 AM on May 14, 2012 [4 favorites]


Be heaps better if this was heaps better
posted by mattoxic at 5:00 AM on May 14, 2012


Yeah, I find this creepy too. The women are still generally in quite vulnerable and/or humiliating positions.

While certainly a valid complaint, that's more the fault of the source material than anything else.
posted by odinsdream at 5:40 AM on May 14, 2012 [1 favorite]


That Diesel ad was made by the always wonderful Keith Schofield, who has made at least one other SFW (but really NSFW) video.

I've been seeing links to that video for years, and it always makes me smile.
posted by Forktine at 6:32 AM on May 14, 2012


When I laugh at shit like this, I realize I am not even close to as smart as I think I am.

No, this is pretty funny. I've been expecting this for a long time, and it's about exactly what I expected. The surface has only been scratched.
posted by mrgrimm at 8:43 AM on May 14, 2012


Sometimes I am embarrassed by what links show up as previously visited when I'm puttering around the internet.
posted by daniel striped tiger at 2:02 PM on May 14, 2012


From vidur's link: this one works so well as a video. I go back and forth from laughing hysterically to being mortified by what it actually is.
posted by wilburthefrog at 9:06 PM on May 14, 2012 [2 favorites]


I've been going over back issues of The Pearl, the notorious sex rag of the Victorian Era, and sanitizing the text for modern ears. For example,

tried to read these out loud to my beau in a sultry voice, he replied with "wut"
posted by NoraReed at 11:29 AM on May 15, 2012


You should have read them with ribaldry instead of sultriness.
posted by XMLicious at 12:09 AM on May 17, 2012


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