Eurovision 2012
May 21, 2012 7:31 AM   Subscribe

The Eurovision Song Contest 2012's first semi-final begins tomorrow at 3 PM EST (12 PM PST). Watch it online, and listen to the songs (below the jump).

The songs:

First semi-final:

Montenegro: Rambo Amadeus - Euro Neuro (previously)
Iceland: Gréta Salóme & Jónsi - Never Forget (note: the official video has a pause in the music; here's a video without the pause. And here's a video in the original Icelandic.)
Greece: Eleftheria Eleftheriou - Aphrodisiac
Latvia: Anmary - Beautiful Song
Albania: Rona Nishliu - Suus
Romania: Mandinga - Zaleilah
Switzerland: Sinplus - Unbreakable
Belgium: Iris - Would You?
Finland: Pernilla Karlsson - När jag blundar
Israel: Izabo - Time
San Marino: Valentina Monetta - The Social Network Song (originally "Facebook Uh, Oh, Oh (A Satirical Song)", still awful)
Cyprus: Ivi Adamou - La La Love
Denmark: Soluna Samay - Should've Known Better
Russia: Buranovskiye Babushki - Party for Everybody (previously)
Hungary: Compact Disco - Sound of Our Hearts
Austria: Trackshittaz - Woki Mit Deim Popo (if you like this song, their national contest runner-up entry from last year is even better)
Moldova: Pasha Parfeny - Lăutar
Ireland: Jedward - Waterline

Second semi-final:

Serbia: Željko Joksimović - Nije Ljubav Stvar
Macedonia: Kaliopi - Crno i Belo
Netherlands: Joan Franka - You and Me
Malta: Kurt Calleja - This is the Night
Belarus: Litesound - We Are The Heroes
Portugal: Filipa Sousa - Vida Minha
Ukraine: Gaitana - Be My Guest
Bulgaria: Sofi Marinova - Love Unlimited
Slovenia: Eva Boto - Verjamem
Croatia: Nina Badrić - Nebo
Sweden: Loreen - Euphoria (If you like this, her national contest entry from last year is also very good.)
Georgia: Anri Jokhadze - I'm a Joker
Turkey: Can Bonomo - Love Me Back
Estonia: Ott Lepland - Kuula
Slovakia: Max Jason Mai - Don't Close Your Eyes
Norway: Tooji - Stay
Bosnia and Herzegovina: MayaSar - Korake Ti Znam
Lithuania: Donny Montell - Love is Blind

Automatic berth to final:

UK: Englebert Humperdinck - Love Will Set You Free
France: Anggun - Echo (You and I)
Italy: Nina Zilli - L'amore è femmina (Out of Love)
Azerbaijan: Sabina Babayeva - When the Music Dies
Spain: Pastera Soler - Quédate Conmigo
Germany: Roman Lob - Standing Still
posted by LSK (204 comments total) 15 users marked this as a favorite

 
*sobs*
posted by pracowity at 7:41 AM on May 21, 2012 [2 favorites]


Last year's contest had some good songs amidst the dreck. Whereas this year's candidates are a sorry and miserable lot. Even the Jedward song for 2012 is lame compared to last year's, which at least was fun.
posted by Roentgen at 7:42 AM on May 21, 2012


Yay! My favourite time of the year!

Sweden is widely regarded as the front runner but I wouldn't discount Italy (and Azerbaijan has home territory advantage which always helps gaining a few extra points here and there).
posted by kariebookish at 7:51 AM on May 21, 2012 [2 favorites]


I dunno, I like Iceland's song this year -- it's sort of Steinmanesque.
posted by asperity at 7:54 AM on May 21, 2012


A few more observations..

.. Recession has hit Eurovision: Ukraine has sent a song that'll presumably double as the theme song for their co-hosting the European Football/Soccer Championship this summer; Greece is sending a girl singing in a shopping centre; Montenegro has sent a song that may/may not be political satire about the Eurozone; and several countries have sent previous participants.

.. Recession may also be to blame for the general doom & gloom feel of the songs. There are so many dreary ballads this year.

.. apart from Sweden, Italy & Azerbaijan (who I mentioned up-thead), there are a couple of other countries to keep an eye on. Iceland could be a dark horse (but where will they stage the contest if they win?), Albania is weird but in a good way, Israel is bouncy and lights up in this gloomy year, France looks great with her Jean Paul Gaultier clothes, and Russia will get the novelty vote but won't win thanks to the jury vote/televoting split.
posted by kariebookish at 8:01 AM on May 21, 2012


Seriously guys? Engelbert does not need to be tuned. The guy sounds as good at 75 as he did at 35. But that production is appalling.

Italy's entry is quite nice, though. Montenegro's too, of course. I dig Turkey's too, but it seems to me that it's either 30 years too late or 5 too early.
posted by uncleozzy at 8:07 AM on May 21, 2012


ESC is really the only reason why, as an American, I live in Europe. The semi-finals in particular are unintentional comedy gold.

Why hasn't some network picked up this idea for a state-by-state competition?
posted by grajohnt at 8:11 AM on May 21, 2012 [3 favorites]


There were some great links about Azerbaijan, repression and Eurovision in a post last week that was deleted for a couple self-links, but there were also lots of interesting articles, covering things like the Germany-Azerbaijan spat over the last few months and the effect of the contest's cost, forced evictions and increased political pressure on ordinary citizens:

Singing in Azerbaijan – but not for democracy

Germany Hands Over the Eurovision Baton, With Barbs

Azerbaijan Rights Situation Poor Despite Eurovision Spotlight

Azerbaijan Flouts Free Press on Eve of Eurovision

Selling Azerbaijan

How Azerbaijan Demonizes the Internet To Keep Citizens Offline

In Eurovision Spending, Azerbaijan Is a Clear Winner

Water supply is a problem across Azerbaijan, according to a 2007 World Bank report, which said much of the country’s distribution system is more than 50 years old and reaching the end of its usability. “The subsequent state of many water pipe networks and the associated problems such as intermittent supplies and heavy leakages affect the quality and reliability of services and pose risks to public health,” the report said.

Last June, Azerbaijan’s government took action on the issue, earmarking 252 million manats ($320 million) to renovate water and sanitation systems in 18 of the country’s 64 administrative regions. A few months later, however, a new cabinet order – No. 331s – diverted more than a fifth of the water allocation to construction of Crystal Hall in Baku, which next month will host the 57th Eurovision Song Contest.


(the deleted post)
posted by mediareport at 8:13 AM on May 21, 2012 [3 favorites]


Montenegro's song is clearly the best, so I propose that we just declare them the winners and call these semifinals and finals off. Surely, only good can come out of this.
posted by daniel_charms at 8:22 AM on May 21, 2012


My god, how I love Eurovision. As a friend of mine said, it's like Christmas in July. I was supposed to go this year, but my travelling partner got ill, which may be as well. Instead I'm cutting cheese into cubes, making melon balls and an avocado mousse and partying like it's the 70s. With homemade flag toothpicks for the cubes, because apparently no one in Dublin sells them, including Europe House.
posted by lesbiassparrow at 8:22 AM on May 21, 2012


And that should be Christmas in May. Either way, though, it's Christmassy.
posted by lesbiassparrow at 8:25 AM on May 21, 2012



So lucky that Memorial Day coincides. Our party is scheduled for Saturday and we'll be streaming the download to our TV. So excited.

Although, can you believe Russia??? Seriously? It was soooo good last year, this year is..lacking.

It's like the first string didn't want to go to Azerbaijan (can you blame them?) so they got the local karaoke singers to come in instead. Oh, and the difference between Serbia last year, Caroban, and this year (see above) well, you can really tell that the quality isn't there.

Got off many hilarious comments though, so we'll still have a great time.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 8:26 AM on May 21, 2012



Oh, and the complete and total pander job of Latvia. Brown-nosing a bit?
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 8:27 AM on May 21, 2012


I'm so very very sad that I won't be able to participate in this year's Eurovision-On-Metafilter chatter like I was able to last year. Unfortunately Happily I have a job, so I'll actually be off earning money during those hours.

Still, great to know it's happening, and I can always watch it after the fact.
posted by hippybear at 8:30 AM on May 21, 2012


Rambo Amadeus: best artist name ever. (And the song + video, also high on awesomeness. The donkey massage? Kind of genius.)
posted by smirkette at 8:30 AM on May 21, 2012


Latvia's continuing a grand tradition of songs asking people to vote for them:

2006: Lithuania's "We Are The Winners"

2008: Ireland's "Irelande Douze Pointe"
posted by LSK at 8:31 AM on May 21, 2012


Even the Jedward song for 2012 is lame compared to last year's, which at least was fun.

Really? I'd say exactly the opposite. Lipstick was repetitive and grating, but I like Waterline a fair bit. On the other hand, I don't understand at all why Sweden is the favorite, so I recognize that I'm grading these on a completely idiosyncratic scale.

For what it's worth, my top 5 this year is probably Israel, Ireland, Romania, Turkey, and . . . Greece has its charms, and I'd overlooked Italy but found it pretty enjoyable, but thematically I feel like I should take one of the dirgey ballads, and my favorite of those is probably Serbia.

There are so many dreary ballads this year.

No kidding. When I went through the entries this year I felt like I was attending the funeral of someone I didn't know or care about and occasionally being told to dance. It's amazing how fast the tone of the mini-reviews I wrote went from excited to disgusted with yet another tedious ballad.
posted by Copronymus at 8:32 AM on May 21, 2012


Last year I attended the final in Dusseldorf. It was AWESOME.
This year, I am a bit underwhelmed by the ballads, and am not making the trip to Baku. Not enough tunes that will be memorable at trivia nights years from now.
posted by wingless_angel at 8:34 AM on May 21, 2012


And seriously... ENGLEBERT HUMPERDINK?!?!?!?

WTF is that all about? Is the UK just doing that so they are guaranteed a place in the record books with "oldest Eurovision performer"?
posted by hippybear at 8:37 AM on May 21, 2012


1. If Englebert Humperdink wins, can he please be crowned prince for a day? 2. The lighting in that video was awesome. Obvious, but really nice. 3. He sounds good: I am impressed.
posted by smirkette at 8:37 AM on May 21, 2012


Is the UK just doing that so they are guaranteed a place in the record books with "oldest Eurovision performer"?

Well, they tried, but Russia's got them beat with the babushkas.
posted by LSK at 8:39 AM on May 21, 2012 [2 favorites]


Russia's got them beat with the babushkas ability to deny affordable gas to many of the Eastern European voters.
posted by jaduncan at 8:42 AM on May 21, 2012 [2 favorites]


When Jedward win for Ireland I will be sure to toast the fallen with the Guiness I will buy with the money I will win from Ladbrokes. Mark my words, gentlepeople.

Although I'll be okay if the Russian grannies win as well. They're great.
posted by LastOfHisKind at 8:44 AM on May 21, 2012


Wait, they put that awful San Marino song, the rap about Euroskeptism, and the song about winning Eurovision all in one semifinal? This means that odds that one of them gets through are outrageously high.

I love Eurovision, I even love some absolutely terrible Eurovision songs (seriously, I listened to Lipstick in the last week), but those songs are all trash.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 9:06 AM on May 21, 2012


I love this so much. This year I've been following the Swedish national contests more closely than normal, so my anticipation faction is high. Go Sweden (although I kinda like the Israel entry too).
posted by gemmy at 9:31 AM on May 21, 2012 [1 favorite]


I was in Finland a few weeks ago and heard the locals laughing heartily at the Estonian entry, 'Kuula.'

Apparently, they think it's so hilarious because 'kuula' means 'listen' in Estonian, and it's the refrain of the song. But in Finnish, 'kuula' means 'ball,' as in a round thing.
posted by yellowcandy at 10:22 AM on May 21, 2012


It's the most wonderful time of the year.
posted by tigrefacile at 10:27 AM on May 21, 2012


Wow, I tried to listen to that linked video for Sweden's entry and there was too much .. something. I can't quite put my finger on it, but there was just too much volume/density to the background music I think? It was a bit overwhelming, but I can't be sure whether that was just youtube or part of the song.
posted by pahalial at 10:29 AM on May 21, 2012


Also, 'Trackshittaz'? Rilly?
posted by tigrefacile at 10:31 AM on May 21, 2012


Also, 'Trackshittaz'? Rilly?

Don't worry, they rap about butts.
posted by Copronymus at 10:42 AM on May 21, 2012 [2 favorites]


Also, 'Trackshittaz'? Rilly?

Part of Austria's stringent truth in advertising laws.
posted by Roentgen at 10:44 AM on May 21, 2012


I was in Finland a few weeks ago and heard the locals laughing heartily at the Estonian entry, 'Kuula.'

Apparently, they think it's so hilarious because 'kuula' means 'listen' in Estonian, and it's the refrain of the song. But in Finnish, 'kuula' means 'ball,' as in a round thing.

Amusingly enough, the guy singing the song has been getting some flak from the Estonian tabloid press for his, erm, wardrobe mishaps, in the national contest final and yet again in the rehearsals in Baku. Apparently the pants he wore were a bit too tight and his 'kuula' were showing through.
posted by daniel_charms at 11:14 AM on May 21, 2012


How does this year stack up for those of us watching it for the hilarious pageantry?

Eurovision 2007, IMHO, was the last great year. Opening up with last year's winner Lordi, France's odd but incredibly earworm-y entrant, Britain's thoroughly embarrassing contribution, Israel's catchy little ditty, and the fabulous near-winner from Ukraine.

Let's not forget about Switzerland's "Vampires Are Alive" whose song - who would have had a better chance in a post-Twilight world.

Man, I could keep going...
posted by iheijoushin at 1:13 PM on May 21, 2012 [3 favorites]


France's odd but incredibly earworm-y entrant

My favorite thing about that song is how it's a subtle-for-Eurovision joke about the stereotypes other countries have about the French (i.e. that they're all hopeless romantics who paint the Eiffel Tower by day and sing torch songs by night), complete with them singing the whole thing in English-accented French.

Of course, that France would send these guys to Eurovision so they could laugh at how ridiculous the rest of Europe is for having these stereotypes is itself playing pretty hard into my own stereotypes about the French, but at that point we're pretty deep into the meta-text and I don't know anyone should take it another level deeper.

It's also a fun song without all that. Man, 2007 was indeed a good year.
posted by Copronymus at 2:48 PM on May 21, 2012 [2 favorites]


Dear Metafilter:

This weekend I am achieving my lifelong (okay, seven-years long) dream of seeing Eurovision live by flying to Baku. I'll let you know how it goes.

Whitewall
posted by whitewall at 11:12 PM on May 21, 2012 [14 favorites]


I can't listen to these tracks, they'll spoil the party.
And there ain't no party like a Eurovision party.

But Woki Mit Deim Popo was everything I expected.
posted by Mezentian at 12:47 AM on May 22, 2012


Why hasn't some network picked up this idea for a state-by-state competition?

Because they've already had one civil war and they don't need another one quite yet.
posted by Grangousier at 1:05 AM on May 22, 2012


BBC One's Panorama had a very good report on Azerbaijan. Available via the One Player as well as YouTube.
posted by k8t at 4:53 AM on May 22, 2012


For anyone who is interested, Woki Mit Deim Popo apparently means "Shake Yo Ass".

I had to ask.
posted by Mezentian at 5:55 AM on May 22, 2012


I'm glad somebody did.
posted by EvaDestruction at 7:59 AM on May 22, 2012


Saturday's forecast calls for all-day showers, which perfectly coincides with my Eurovision-streaming plans. Personally, I like to keep it all fresh for the final, just to achieve maximum mindfuckery.

I assume we're all meeting here for live-blogging?

MALTA -- DOUZE POINTS!

2011 MOLDOVA WUZ ROBBED 4TH WAVE SKA 4EVA

posted by Capt. Renault at 8:41 AM on May 22, 2012


Dear god, it has begun.
posted by daniel_charms at 12:05 PM on May 22, 2012


Congratulations Montenegro, you picked the person with the worst stage presence in the entire world. That was a real accomplishment. Seriously, he's just sort of shuffling and having a seizure.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 12:09 PM on May 22, 2012


MONETARY BREAKDANCE!
posted by LSK at 12:10 PM on May 22, 2012


Montenegro had a cape. I give them high points for that. There's not nearly enough cape-wearing in Eurovision. But it needed more fire and sword-dancing.
posted by lesbiassparrow at 12:13 PM on May 22, 2012


Damn it coworkers, stop coming into my office during this Greek song that I like an embarrassing amount.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 12:16 PM on May 22, 2012


They really should have used a real donkey. Or maybe turn it into a Trojan donkey left it on the stage as a "gift" for the Greek singers.
posted by daniel_charms at 12:16 PM on May 22, 2012


The Albanian singer is making my ears bleed.
posted by daniel_charms at 12:25 PM on May 22, 2012


Israel... Please god let that go through to the finals. I don't know what's going on but I want to see more of it (a common theme in Eurovision).
posted by lesbiassparrow at 12:46 PM on May 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


OVEN FOR EVERYBODY!
posted by LSK at 1:40 PM on May 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


In spite of my soft spot for Jedward, the Russian grannies nailed this.
posted by JanetLand at 1:45 PM on May 22, 2012


A fairly solid group plus Albania. As a completely random aside, was one of the guys in one of the groups wearing a Blackhawks hat? The colors were weird, but it looked like their alternate logo.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 2:00 PM on May 22, 2012


I was sad to see Israel miss out. They were one of my favourites. Good to see Albania - who my OH described as "Bjork singing backwards" - going through. I thought she'd be too weird but apparently not.
posted by kariebookish at 2:50 PM on May 22, 2012


I like the Swedish song. I was in Sweden when the national competition was held and Euphoria has made regular appearances on the radio station inside my head since. I also really like that crab-walk move she does early on and that weird spinny routine by the dude at the end.

My favorite moment of weirdness so far (I only saw a few of the entrants, to be honest) is the creepy guy standing off to the side of the stage in shadows during the Cypriot song. I thought maybe he was the designated ogler, but it turns out he was just singing back-up vocals.
posted by Kattullus at 2:54 PM on May 24, 2012


I'm way behind on the performances (which I generally prefer to the official videos): I've seen Montenegro, Greece, Sweden, Cyprus; I've gathered that I should watch Russia, Iceland and Israel; and I will watch Macedonia. Was Albania must-see bad, or just better avoided? Any other highlights in terms of the semi-finals?
posted by EvaDestruction at 7:09 AM on May 25, 2012


I didn't think Albania was bad in any way at all, but I do like That Sort of Thing. A bit Bjork-esque. She does some rather impressive song-screaming in the middle and end of the song, and I think she actually nailed it a bit better in this rehearsal than she did live in the semi-final.
posted by Eumachia L F at 11:33 AM on May 25, 2012


This years crop seems, tepid.
Wheeling out Lena just proved that.

The Russian Grannies need to win because: LORDI and difference.
posted by Mezentian at 8:37 AM on May 26, 2012


OK, I'm ready. Let's DO THIS.

CAN YOU HEAR ME, BAKU?!?
posted by Capt. Renault at 11:54 AM on May 26, 2012


As much as I *heart* Jedward, my favourite has to be Turkey because they made a BOAT FROM CAPES.
posted by Eumachia L F at 12:05 PM on May 26, 2012 [2 favorites]


I have beer and junk food. I'm in.
posted by tigrefacile at 12:07 PM on May 26, 2012


For an opener where something is happening in every pixel of the screen, that was surprisingly dull. Still -- our petrodollars at work...
posted by Capt. Renault at 12:07 PM on May 26, 2012


Baku, short on competent hairdressers.
posted by tigrefacile at 12:08 PM on May 26, 2012


Nice dresses, but why toilet paper?
posted by Capt. Renault at 12:10 PM on May 26, 2012


The Hump is sounding great, but why is this song only an introduction to itself?
posted by Capt. Renault at 12:15 PM on May 26, 2012


That was kind of cool. No chance though, politically, and going first.
posted by tigrefacile at 12:16 PM on May 26, 2012


Well done, Hungarian George Michael.
posted by Capt. Renault at 12:20 PM on May 26, 2012


The German commentators described Compact Disco as 'like Depeche Mode'. This may have caused some defensive shouting on my part.
posted by frimble at 12:22 PM on May 26, 2012


Albania, honey, you have a little something on your neck, there...
posted by Capt. Renault at 12:23 PM on May 26, 2012


She was extraordinary but I wouldn't want to stand next her on the tube.
posted by tigrefacile at 12:24 PM on May 26, 2012


It's White Gay Geordi!
posted by Capt. Renault at 12:25 PM on May 26, 2012


Gay or Baltic?
posted by tigrefacile at 12:26 PM on May 26, 2012


That dancing... I think I saw it in Never Gonna Give You Up.
posted by frimble at 12:27 PM on May 26, 2012


He's lucky, in that he's the one guy who doesn't have to watch this.
posted by Capt. Renault at 12:27 PM on May 26, 2012


Did the chorus of that song remind folks of any other song? I swear it's nearly note-for-note a rip of something from the 70s maybe (minus the disco beat, perhaps)? (Lithuania)
posted by lovermont at 12:27 PM on May 26, 2012


Sorry, I've forgotten it already.
posted by Capt. Renault at 12:30 PM on May 26, 2012


Understandable. It's a fleeting thing – I saw the semi so it first came up then. I'm sure I'll forget about it by the time the grannies are done.
posted by lovermont at 12:34 PM on May 26, 2012


Because fuck Stalin, right? This is making me want to go on a package holiday.
posted by tigrefacile at 12:35 PM on May 26, 2012 [1 favorite]


OK, Russian grannies are the first song terrible/wonderful enough to warrant being on the Eurovision stage.
posted by Capt. Renault at 12:35 PM on May 26, 2012


Wait -- Joel McHale is from Iceland?
posted by Capt. Renault at 12:37 PM on May 26, 2012


Aww... he brought his mom!
posted by Capt. Renault at 12:38 PM on May 26, 2012


I thought she was the wife from Curb Your Enthusiasm.
posted by lovermont at 12:39 PM on May 26, 2012


Miss Cyprus is delectable, but she's hitting one note in five.
posted by tigrefacile at 12:43 PM on May 26, 2012


Finally, some proper fucking GLAM. I may not ask for much, but I do ask for Cypriot GLAM.
posted by Capt. Renault at 12:43 PM on May 26, 2012


Albania: Twilek from Star Wars?
posted by asperity at 12:49 PM on May 26, 2012


That's it, France? Srsly?
posted by Capt. Renault at 12:49 PM on May 26, 2012


I want Italy's dress. Possibly I should post on AskMe about best practices for aluminum foil tailoring.
posted by asperity at 12:51 PM on May 26, 2012


Amy Winehouse cleans up real nice.
posted by Capt. Renault at 12:51 PM on May 26, 2012


Azerbaijan: Land of Carpets.
posted by asperity at 12:54 PM on May 26, 2012


His eyebrows wiggling tells us that he's sincere about his feelings.
posted by frimble at 12:54 PM on May 26, 2012


I actually like Manilow's "Can't Smile Without You" better in Estonian.
posted by Capt. Renault at 12:55 PM on May 26, 2012


Or at least, sincere about his Kuula.
posted by frimble at 12:55 PM on May 26, 2012


You listen to your heart, Norway. Don't let anyone tell you that leggings aren't for men.
posted by Capt. Renault at 12:57 PM on May 26, 2012


This (Norway), this I genuinely despise. He needs a brick to the teeth. And a haircut.
posted by tigrefacile at 12:58 PM on May 26, 2012


I thought Norway was wearing a leather-jacket-shrug for one magical moment!
posted by Jody Tresidder at 12:59 PM on May 26, 2012


Whoa. Her dress. It lights up!
posted by asperity at 1:04 PM on May 26, 2012


I never really quite understand these earnest, emotional entries (Azerbaijan). I can understand trying to win, and trying to just have fun, but these never seem to be either.
posted by tyllwin at 1:04 PM on May 26, 2012


If you're cold, lady, put on a jacket. Or stand next to the pyros.
posted by Capt. Renault at 1:04 PM on May 26, 2012


YEAH ATVS TEAR THAT NATURE UP
posted by Capt. Renault at 1:06 PM on May 26, 2012 [1 favorite]


BAGPIPES. Oh, Romania.
posted by asperity at 1:07 PM on May 26, 2012


From the Romanian...highlands?
posted by tyllwin at 1:09 PM on May 26, 2012 [1 favorite]


Romania's the leading contender so far, I think. The right combination of pop licks and self-abasement of all concerned.
posted by Capt. Renault at 1:10 PM on May 26, 2012


Denmark brings the epaulettes!
posted by asperity at 1:11 PM on May 26, 2012


Woooo! Xylophone solo!
posted by Kattullus at 1:12 PM on May 26, 2012


Greece is a guilty pleasure.
posted by tyllwin at 1:14 PM on May 26, 2012


Greece is too poor to even afford a whole dress.
posted by Capt. Renault at 1:15 PM on May 26, 2012 [1 favorite]


There are some good points to austerity.
posted by tyllwin at 1:16 PM on May 26, 2012 [1 favorite]


Greece is a guilty pleasure.

Particularly if you're sat in a room with your wife and daughter.
posted by tigrefacile at 1:16 PM on May 26, 2012 [1 favorite]


Is this, like, an actual song?
posted by Capt. Renault at 1:17 PM on May 26, 2012


SWEDEN SOOOOOOOOOOO COOL WAIT AND SEE. AND BANG SOME PILLS.
posted by tigrefacile at 1:18 PM on May 26, 2012


And now, for Sweden, Earlene.
posted by frimble at 1:18 PM on May 26, 2012


Loreen: The dance is like watching Kate Bush young again. Not that I'll complain about that. There's my personal 12 points.
posted by tyllwin at 1:19 PM on May 26, 2012 [1 favorite]


I dig the choreography on this. For real. It's just weird enough.
posted by lovermont at 1:20 PM on May 26, 2012 [1 favorite]


If a EU country wins this, it must be Sweden. No, seriously: it's the only EU country that could possibly afford to host next year's final.
posted by Dumsnill at 1:21 PM on May 26, 2012 [1 favorite]


Hell of a draft in that new building. Hopefully, they have a construction holdback, get the contractors back in.
posted by Capt. Renault at 1:21 PM on May 26, 2012


If this doesn't win I'm blaming Stalin. Totes amazeballs.
posted by tigrefacile at 1:22 PM on May 26, 2012


Can Bonomo? Yes he can!
posted by frimble at 1:23 PM on May 26, 2012


Euphoria is one hell of a song. Like a friend said when she first heard it: "Even though it sounds like nothing else, after hearing it for the first time it sounds like classic pop song you've known all your life."
posted by Kattullus at 1:23 PM on May 26, 2012 [2 favorites]


He kind of looks like Sacha Baron Cohen, and this is a song I could see Borat doing.
posted by lovermont at 1:25 PM on May 26, 2012


I like Turkey's song just as much as when Latvia performed it (Wolves of the Sea).
posted by asperity at 1:27 PM on May 26, 2012


We need some hairdressers out there, stat! Her bun is so tight she can't blink!
posted by Capt. Renault at 1:29 PM on May 26, 2012


Germany could have done a better job drawing on his chest hair.
posted by Capt. Renault at 1:33 PM on May 26, 2012


I can't imagine what girls would see appealing about Mr Germany.
posted by tigrefacile at 1:33 PM on May 26, 2012


Germany's just sort of phoning it in.
posted by tyllwin at 1:34 PM on May 26, 2012


Malta do the cool foot-dancing and we love them for it.
posted by tigrefacile at 1:35 PM on May 26, 2012 [1 favorite]


Schnell., schnell, Kartoffelkopf!
posted by Dumsnill at 1:36 PM on May 26, 2012


It does have a certain 'Up With People' vibe I like in a Eurovision song.
posted by Capt. Renault at 1:38 PM on May 26, 2012


Jedward are looming like the darkest imaginable vision of the future.
posted by tigrefacile at 1:39 PM on May 26, 2012 [1 favorite]


Why does Macedonia get two songs?
posted by Capt. Renault at 1:42 PM on May 26, 2012


I really disliked Moldavia's entry the first time I heard it, but this time I like it and I wouldn't be surprisef if AAAAHHH JEDWARD!
posted by Kattullus at 1:43 PM on May 26, 2012


Because it's not called Macetrecia.
posted by Dumsnill at 1:44 PM on May 26, 2012


Jedward is much better than last year. You can tell they've matured as an artist.
posted by Capt. Renault at 1:45 PM on May 26, 2012 [4 favorites]


Jedward got their outfits from the Galaxy Quest wardrobe department, didn't they?
posted by frimble at 1:45 PM on May 26, 2012 [1 favorite]


Imagine how times they've rehearsed this. Perhaps twice even.
posted by tigrefacile at 1:45 PM on May 26, 2012 [4 favorites]


I LOVE Jedward's costumes. But then I am into shoulder pads. And fountains.
posted by asperity at 1:46 PM on May 26, 2012


Jedward are bad enough to be fabul... oh who am I kidding
posted by Kattullus at 1:47 PM on May 26, 2012


Serbia: violin limbo.
posted by asperity at 1:50 PM on May 26, 2012


Great music for a step sequence, only it's missing the step sequence.
posted by Capt. Renault at 1:50 PM on May 26, 2012


Serbia's is nother song I didn't like that much when I heard it the first time but wore well.
posted by Kattullus at 1:52 PM on May 26, 2012


The Ukraine song gives me a headache. I feel like the 2nd semifinal was full of yelling singers, and their singer was the yell-iest of the lot.
posted by lovermont at 1:53 PM on May 26, 2012


I like this, but I suspect she's a ringer.
posted by tigrefacile at 1:54 PM on May 26, 2012


Ukraine is another strong contender. Lots of good songs this year. Moldavia might just be my favorite, with Sweden's, this year. Remember, Moldavia gave us O-Zone, of Numa Numa fame. That deserves at least a few votes each year in perpetuity.
posted by Kattullus at 1:55 PM on May 26, 2012 [1 favorite]


I like this, but I suspect she's a ringer.

Certainly, my ears are ringing.
posted by Capt. Renault at 1:56 PM on May 26, 2012 [1 favorite]


Kattullus, did you take a look upthread? So much negativity about the songs (for shame!) I think it might be a vintage year, myself.
posted by tigrefacile at 1:58 PM on May 26, 2012


Moldova's fun. He means business, and his colleagues agree.
posted by Dumsnill at 1:59 PM on May 26, 2012 [2 favorites]


Dance that song up, Moldova! Dance harder! HARDER!
posted by Capt. Renault at 1:59 PM on May 26, 2012 [1 favorite]


Host's got a great future in telemarketing.
posted by Capt. Renault at 2:00 PM on May 26, 2012


Yes, but how would you characterise those trousers? Plus fours? Hammer pants?
posted by tigrefacile at 2:01 PM on May 26, 2012


tigrefacile: Kattullus, did you take a look upthread? So much negativity about the songs (for shame!) I think it might be a vintage year, myself.

I missed the first half of the show, which I hear was a bit less fun than the latter half. I voted for Sweden and Moldavia, incidentally.
posted by Kattullus at 2:01 PM on May 26, 2012 [1 favorite]


Enh, Sweden, Greece, Romania, Republic of Jedward, Moldova.
posted by Capt. Renault at 2:09 PM on May 26, 2012


Turkey is still my favorite. That song has been in my head for days. Ireland and Moldova are my next two. My gawd I love this.
posted by Eumachia L F at 2:12 PM on May 26, 2012


I can't imagine what girls would see appealing about Mr Germany.

Was that ironic tigrefacile? Because over on tumblr the chicks were falling all over themselves about how hot Roman Lob is. They don't give a fuck about the song but his eeeeyes omg!!11!1

Me and Mom: "Fuck we're old."
posted by ZeroAmbition at 2:17 PM on May 26, 2012


I gotta say, I'm not having as much fun as last year. But I have yet to start drinking.
posted by Capt. Renault at 2:21 PM on May 26, 2012


I never have any idea who's gonna win. Last year I didn't even notice Azerbaijan's song. I like a whole bunch of songs this year. I have Be My Guest (Ukraine) stuck in my head right now, but I've had Euphoria (Sweden) and Lautar (Moldova) stuck in my head over the past couple of days.
posted by Kattullus at 2:23 PM on May 26, 2012


I vote Moldova and Turkey. Not literally, but if I wasn't so lazy, and about to fall asleep.
posted by taz at 2:23 PM on May 26, 2012


Sweden ought to win, but geo/politics voting happens in charmingly weird ways.
posted by Dumsnill at 2:29 PM on May 26, 2012


I liked last year's space jacuzzis more than this year's space dens.
posted by Capt. Renault at 2:29 PM on May 26, 2012


That's how evil triumphs, taz, good people fall asleep watching Eurovision.
posted by Kattullus at 2:29 PM on May 26, 2012 [2 favorites]


The voting results! It's such a great, weird spectacle. I can't quite explain why it's so fabulous.
posted by Kattullus at 2:30 PM on May 26, 2012


Eddie Izzard has spoiled the word "Azerbaijan" for me. I always hear it in his voice.

Now the voting. This is what geopolitical incest looks like.
posted by Grangousier at 2:32 PM on May 26, 2012


Was that ironic tigrefacile?

Meant to be, as he was very, very pretty. But the woolly hat disguises thinning hair, perhaps, and a overwhelming suspicion that the face he sees each morning in the mirror is the only currency he possesses, and will soon be devalued by the fierce elements of fleeting fame, as a cowboy's face is lined by dust, wind and relentless sunshine.
posted by tigrefacile at 2:32 PM on May 26, 2012


Ukranian Simon Amstell calling.
posted by tigrefacile at 2:33 PM on May 26, 2012


It's an hour of counting things, with cheering crowds and complicated historical relationships.

It's like Scandinavia and the World playing Baseball.
posted by frimble at 2:35 PM on May 26, 2012 [2 favorites]


"And twelve points go to Russia!

Can we have our gas supplies back now, please?"
posted by Grangousier at 2:35 PM on May 26, 2012


Sweden loadsapoints... other Nordic countries... 0 points.

Meetings at the Nordic Council are going to be frosty this year.
posted by Kattullus at 2:36 PM on May 26, 2012


Team Ikea is getting excited.
posted by Capt. Renault at 2:37 PM on May 26, 2012 [1 favorite]


Wow, joint Nordic "nul points" except for Sweden? Thank god for geoincestuous voting - otherwise this could get embarrassing.
posted by Bukvoed at 2:41 PM on May 26, 2012


I liked the fact that the British representative needed to mention the Olympics, like a middle-aged man who's being roundly beaten at tennis by a younger challenger mentioning that he's got a big, expensive car.
posted by Grangousier at 2:42 PM on May 26, 2012 [2 favorites]


Sweden 12, Jedward 10

Never been more proud to be British.
posted by tigrefacile at 2:42 PM on May 26, 2012


Until the Greek woman blinked I though her eyes were painted on to her eyelids.
posted by Grangousier at 2:43 PM on May 26, 2012


Have the audience been staring at that backdrop all evening? Why aren't they seasick? I only turned over when the songs were finished, and I'm already feeling queasy.

(I think it's an Apple Motion filter, by the way. The whole evening produced with £35-worth of software)
posted by Grangousier at 2:48 PM on May 26, 2012


Bukvoed: Thank god for geoincestuous voting - otherwise this could get embarrassing.

Slovenia just rescued us from embarrassment.
posted by Kattullus at 2:49 PM on May 26, 2012


3 POINTS! Bedankt, Nederland!
posted by Bukvoed at 2:57 PM on May 26, 2012


And Holland gets its token appearance of the night. Well done, countrymen!
posted by Capt. Renault at 2:58 PM on May 26, 2012


Crap, 5 points to Denmark and 1 to us? What the hell, Iceland?
posted by Bukvoed at 2:59 PM on May 26, 2012 [1 favorite]


It's Englebert I feel sorry for. They should have got Scott Walker.
posted by Grangousier at 3:00 PM on May 26, 2012 [1 favorite]


I'd just like to note that Iceland is over The Hump.
posted by Kattullus at 3:02 PM on May 26, 2012


The Icelandic commentator is getting more bitter and desperate as the night goes on. I think she actually expected Iceland to do well. Every time there's a vote she goes: "Maybe this time..." Even when Cyprus had allocated its 10 points and Greece had yet to get on the board.
posted by Kattullus at 3:04 PM on May 26, 2012


Oh Lordi Lordi...
posted by Kattullus at 3:07 PM on May 26, 2012 [1 favorite]


Hah, it's the same here in Norway. The commentator thought both Denmark and Finland (!) would give us points when they mentioned their "neighbors".
posted by Bukvoed at 3:08 PM on May 26, 2012 [1 favorite]


Italy has had the drunkest vote announcer so far. Watching him felt like being hit on by a guy who was leaning on the bathroom door to stay upright.
posted by Kattullus at 3:11 PM on May 26, 2012 [2 favorites]


I really want the European project to succeed. I love the idea of belonging to something as big and complicated and insane as this.
posted by Grangousier at 3:11 PM on May 26, 2012 [2 favorites]


Not sure about Russian lady's shoulder pads.
posted by Grangousier at 3:12 PM on May 26, 2012


Fuck you Denmark, fuck you Sweden, fuck you Finland, fuck you Iceland. Fuck you.

Nah, good on you Sweden
posted by Dumsnill at 3:16 PM on May 26, 2012 [2 favorites]


Sorry you got relegated, UK.
posted by Capt. Renault at 3:18 PM on May 26, 2012


The good will out.
posted by tigrefacile at 3:20 PM on May 26, 2012


Unusual use of the word "good", there.
posted by Grangousier at 3:23 PM on May 26, 2012


Right. Thanks for your company and wit, everyone. See you next year!
posted by Capt. Renault at 3:25 PM on May 26, 2012


Of all the Eurovisions I've watched, that's the first time the victory performance wasn't a complete butchery of the song. Good singer, that Loreen.
posted by Kattullus at 3:25 PM on May 26, 2012


Also, I feel I should mention that Loreen was the only contestant I know about who raised the subject of human rights in Azerbaijan, so extra good on her.
posted by Kattullus at 3:31 PM on May 26, 2012 [3 favorites]


I'm sure Engelbert would have said something too, but he's been told he's in Blackpool.
posted by tigrefacile at 3:54 PM on May 26, 2012 [1 favorite]


I'm going through all the British entries one by one on Wikipedia. It's quite dispiriting, actually. Though I'm tempted to edit the entry for Bardo to state that they were named after where the soul goes after death in the Tibetan Book of the Dead. I suspect I'd get caught. Eurovision types are eagle-eyed for that sort of thing.
posted by Grangousier at 4:11 PM on May 26, 2012 [1 favorite]


I am currently discussing with my (British) Other Half where the UK can go from here. I think Wogan somehow ruined Eurovision a tiny bit - it has become something to mock rather than take halfway seriously - and I think the UK may need to take a step back, get proper songwriters involved, add a performer who is actually passionate about performing and then promote the hell out of their entry throughout Europe. Right now the British entries are just a mess - especially that year with the Pete Waterman 1980s dirge.
posted by kariebookish at 4:20 PM on May 26, 2012


Great year - loved Sweden.

kariebookish - I thought Blue was a great choice lat year, and they did pretty well. The Hump got a bad draw, and the song was meh. I was hoping the Jury votes would carry him a little higher.

Slow start with all the meh ballads, but great ending. Who was I missing in the finals for me? Switzerland and Belarus. I would have swapped out Ukraine and Lithuania in a heart beat.

I'm trying to talk my wife into making the long trip from Dallas to Stockholm next May. She wants to get tickets down front and wave a Vatican Flag.

Supplemental - there was a red and yellow striped flag being waved right behind the stage most of the night. What flag was that?
posted by SNWidget at 4:36 PM on May 26, 2012 [1 favorite]


Also, in our Texas vote, Sweden. Denmark, and Norway were in the top two spots. I liked Denmark a lot, and I was surprised they did so poorly.
posted by SNWidget at 4:37 PM on May 26, 2012


Also, in our Texas vote, Sweden. Denmark, and Norway were in the top two spots.

Three spots. I've been drinking for a while.
posted by SNWidget at 4:38 PM on May 26, 2012 [1 favorite]


SNWidget - that would have been the Catalonian flag, probably.
posted by kariebookish at 4:41 PM on May 26, 2012 [1 favorite]


I thought of Macedonia.
posted by Kattullus at 4:44 PM on May 26, 2012


Here's a video of Loreen visiting human rights campaigners in Baku yesterday.
posted by Kattullus at 4:49 PM on May 26, 2012


SNWidget - that would have been the Catalonian flag, probably.

Yup, that's it. I didn't recognize it as a national flag, and at first, I thought it might be something like Nagorno-Karabakh, but that would have been pulled down in like 2 seconds.
posted by SNWidget at 5:07 PM on May 26, 2012


The Guardian's snarky liveblog coverage for anyone who wants to relive the highs and lows.
posted by frimble at 6:27 PM on May 26, 2012


I couldn't make it all the way through... I had to go to bed halfway into the points awarding. But before I did, husband and I crowned Cyprus' Ivi Adamou "Miss Eurovision," though our Greek contender was a very strong runner-up. She didn't dance on a table, though, so no tiara.

Not one of my picks, but I'm glad Sweden won, because as someone somewhere noted (here? can't search, arms too short to reach), they're probably the only ones who can afford to host next year, and Stockholm is going to be a lot of fun, I bet. I confess, though, I was so distracted by the arm-waving choreography of the actual performance I couldn't concentrate at all on the actual song. When the guy sprang out onto the stage near the end and pinned her arms, I was like, "oh good, someone's restraining her; she could put an eye out!" Then he started doing it, too, so it was apparently contagious.

I was reading comments here all along – but on my tablet, where it takes me 20 minutes to tap out a short sentence, but I assure you, I made very many howlingly funny and bitingly sarcastic bon mots in between snoring.
posted by taz at 12:35 AM on May 27, 2012 [2 favorites]


I was drifting off to sleep when suddenly, out of nowhere, Waterline started playing inside my head. I feel like I should be able to register a complaint somewhere. The worst thing is that I even sort of like it now.

THE TERRIBLE SONG IS COMING FROM INSIDE MY HEAD
posted by Kattullus at 5:53 PM on May 27, 2012 [1 favorite]


THE TERRIBLE SONG IS COMING FROM INSIDE MY HEAD

My wife caught me unconsciously dancing and humming "La La Love" in line at the grocery store today. She laughed, and them deadpanned "Cyprus, douze points."
posted by SNWidget at 9:44 PM on May 27, 2012 [2 favorites]


I was drifting off to sleep when suddenly, out of nowhere, Waterline started playing inside my head. I feel like I should be able to register a complaint somewhere. The worst thing is that I even sort of like it now.

Jedward's relentless enthusiasm gives them terrifying power. Our willpower is nothing compared to their hyperactive capering, and they will not stop until we all love them.
posted by Copronymus at 8:05 AM on May 29, 2012 [4 favorites]


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