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On Why Soup Is So Bad for Diurnal Rhythms
May 22, 2012 9:34 PM   Subscribe

On Why Soup Is So Bad for Diurnal Rhythms: “Certainly. Carrot soup mimetically resembles a carrot only in color.” John was worried by the mainstream diet of soup. Not only is frantic chewing part of the joy of feeding, but widespread and protracted ingestion with minimal effort could derail diurnal cycles. Originally food was partly invented for sustenance, and partly to pass time and to mark it, and so John, in any given day, would scrupulously observe all nine meals: an early breakfast on rising; a second breakfast, in the German tradition, as rumbling recurred around nine; brunch, closely followed by elevensies, or vice versa if you favor Bohr’s algorithm; lunch; tiffin at four, with the focus on small savory sandwiches rather than cake, to avoid a mid-afternoon sugar coma; dinner; supper, and, of course, a final midnight feast to salute the day as it retires. Each meal consists of one, two, or three courses, plus intercourses where appropriate, and the main cycle might be accessorized with any number of subcycles of casual snacking.
posted by shivohum (33 comments total) 10 users marked this as a favorite

 
The intercourses are the best part, but they can get kind of messy.
posted by furiousxgeorge at 9:36 PM on May 22, 2012 [2 favorites]


Reading that list makes me hungry.
posted by box at 9:46 PM on May 22, 2012


The problem with soup is that it is already a high-entropy system.

Easy for you to say, waiter, but I'm still more concerned about this fly.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:47 PM on May 22, 2012 [17 favorites]


Potato cheese soup is my favorite kind of soup.

I also like soup that is served inside of a hollowed-out bowl of bread. That's so rad.
posted by Redfield at 9:47 PM on May 22, 2012 [4 favorites]




symposia on Being Oriented Ontology (BOO) are conducted in stadia overflowing with youths, academics release merchandise, corporeality is suppressed, and the intellect is paramount.

I saw that Sliders episode too.
posted by benzenedream at 9:53 PM on May 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


Say what you will about soup.
posted by TwelveTwo at 10:11 PM on May 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


Second breakfast? Will there be Elevenses, too? Maybe a shortcut to mushrooms?
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 10:18 PM on May 22, 2012 [4 favorites]


Soup of the evening, beautiful sou--- wait, it's only 3:30 in the afternoon, wtf?
posted by The otter lady at 10:28 PM on May 22, 2012


.
posted by Soupisgoodfood at 10:30 PM on May 22, 2012 [7 favorites]


Pretentious mastication.
posted by MartinWisse at 10:39 PM on May 22, 2012


I love soup.
posted by 4ster at 12:37 AM on May 23, 2012


Originally food was partly invented for sustenance, and partly to pass time and to mark it

Oh yeah, and how they punched the air when they realised that the phenomenology department and the guys from biochemistry, working from different directions, had converged on the same system! Man, that was sweet.
posted by Segundus at 1:19 AM on May 23, 2012 [7 favorites]


Overthinking a plate of bean soup (which like the intercourses, can get messy).
posted by chavenet at 2:08 AM on May 23, 2012


I would also describe my chewing as frantic. It's a bit distressing, actually, and it's why I prefer soup. Anxiety-free eating.
posted by molecicco at 2:10 AM on May 23, 2012 [1 favorite]


Earth vs. Soup.
posted by Slithy_Tove at 3:40 AM on May 23, 2012 [3 favorites]


At some point in the winter I was filling the dishwasher, and realized that we had only used spoons, not a single knife or fork; it made me wonder if subsisting heavily on stews and soups for part of the year is actually a good idea. But when it is cold and miserable outside, there is nothing more satisfying than a warm bowl of savory stew...
posted by Forktine at 5:41 AM on May 23, 2012 [1 favorite]


personally i think soup is the devils work. Yea it may taste good but it doesnt leave you feeling...satisfied.
Now a stew...thats gods country my man.

(wow that got kinda theological...)
posted by ShawnString at 5:52 AM on May 23, 2012


I think it'd have been helpful to know in the FPP that this is a selection from a novel, rather than any kind of scholarly paper or something.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:04 AM on May 23, 2012 [3 favorites]


What, do you think soup is a biped?
posted by Naberius at 6:16 AM on May 23, 2012 [1 favorite]


Food was invented? No doubt by the same intelligent designer who developed the eye or the wing, those things that couldn't possibly have arisen by gradual selection (according to those too lazy or too invested in a prior agenda to do some basic reading up on evolution.)

Now, "recipes" or "eating schedules" - those are cultural inventions.
posted by Philofacts at 6:58 AM on May 23, 2012 [1 favorite]


Thanks, EmpressCallipygos.

So, we're submitting snippets of novels as single-link FPPs now?
posted by IAmBroom at 7:46 AM on May 23, 2012


With nine meals a day, how does one find time enough to poop?
posted by Sys Rq at 7:55 AM on May 23, 2012 [1 favorite]


The Soup Nazi was really just trying to make sure people got a good night's sleep.
posted by exogenous at 8:31 AM on May 23, 2012


The linked article does give a whole new meaning to the term, "peckish."
posted by halfbuckaroo at 9:13 AM on May 23, 2012


"First eggs were bad, then they were good. Bad, then good. Then bad. Good then bad. MAKE UP YOUR GOD DAMNED MINDS! IT'S BREAKFAST! I GOTTA EAT!!!"
posted by jefficator at 9:28 AM on May 23, 2012


There was a comment on AskMe awhile back that talked about why juicing an apple, peel and all is not as healthy as eating an apple. Darned if I can find it though.
posted by discopolo at 9:49 AM on May 23, 2012 [1 favorite]


Food was invented?

Yes. Anything beyond the raw ingredients you'd find in nature was invented, for the most part. Even cooking a piece of meat (which wouldn't qualify as a recipe, in my estimation) is an invention.
posted by asnider at 10:23 AM on May 23, 2012


Happy once
Happy twice
Happy chicken soup with rice.
posted by Night_owl at 12:27 PM on May 23, 2012 [1 favorite]


With nine meals a day, how does one find time enough to poop?

By realizing that the two activities can be done at the same time. (Note: I didn't say "should." The basic mechanism of life is the conversion of food to crap then, once it's out in the wide world, its slow, solar-powered trip back from that state, but there is no joy in it. Well, at least I hope there isn't, but YMMV.)
posted by JHarris at 3:33 PM on May 23, 2012


What the hell? I eat one dry bagel a day and soup for dinner. No wonder my life feels like a prison camp!

And roasted carrot soup is made out of all carrots...but then I don't really think I understood the FA. (as in RTFA).
posted by bquarters at 5:02 PM on May 23, 2012


Given enough Longbottom lLeaf or Old Toby, one could easily get through 9 meals...
posted by Capricorn13 at 6:50 PM on May 23, 2012


Food was invented?

Yes. Anything beyond the raw ingredients you'd find in nature was invented, for the most part. Even cooking a piece of meat (which wouldn't qualify as a recipe, in my estimation) is an invention.


Yes, but that's confusing process with material. Food is the (raw) material (ultimately made by nature, not by us, even though we manipulate the genetic selection and the abundance of it via agriculture); cutting it up, cooking, recipes, etc. are the process. (Any decision as to how long to cook something, btw, and which you would communicate to others to repeat, would qualify as a recipe.)
posted by Philofacts at 9:08 PM on May 23, 2012


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