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Pun intended.
May 25, 2012 10:50 AM   Subscribe

The Pope's butler arrested following Vatileaks investigation. [telegraph.co.uk] Vatican police have arrested Pope Benedict XVI's personal butler following an investigation into the leaking of sensitive church documents.
posted by Fizz (44 comments total) 7 users marked this as a favorite

 
[Previously]
posted by Fizz at 10:53 AM on May 25, 2012


"keep your friends close but those that you want to rob - keep them closer."
posted by fuq at 10:59 AM on May 25, 2012 [2 favorites]


Who would have thought the butler did it?
posted by Roentgen at 11:00 AM on May 25, 2012 [18 favorites]


And why does the Vatican have embarrassing secrets in the first place?
posted by Kirth Gerson at 11:05 AM on May 25, 2012 [8 favorites]


is there a prison in Vatican City? wonder what the crime rate is.
posted by mwhybark at 11:06 AM on May 25, 2012


To the rack with him or I'll be forced to consider the Pope weak.
posted by glhaynes at 11:06 AM on May 25, 2012 [1 favorite]


THE CHURCH POLICE!!!!!
posted by spitbull at 11:09 AM on May 25, 2012 [3 favorites]


I'm sure Lady Mary is devistated!
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 11:09 AM on May 25, 2012


It's tough being the papal butler: you have to be able to fold napkins and decant wine infallibly.
posted by XMLicious at 11:12 AM on May 25, 2012 [1 favorite]


No-one expects the Spanish Roman Inquisition!
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 11:12 AM on May 25, 2012 [3 favorites]


Personally, I think it's time for some predator drone action in Vatican City.
posted by spitbull at 11:14 AM on May 25, 2012 [2 favorites]


Courtesy link to Vatileaks.

Spread it around. Sunlight is not only best disinfectant. It's absolutely toxic to vampires like those in the Catholic Church hierarchy.
posted by spitbull at 11:16 AM on May 25, 2012 [5 favorites]


This sort of thing never happened under Wooster IV.
posted by condour75 at 11:18 AM on May 25, 2012 [4 favorites]


Personally, I think it's time for some predator drone action in Vatican City.

I think the last thing Vatican City needs is more predators.
posted by Fizz at 11:22 AM on May 25, 2012 [14 favorites]


It's absolutely toxic to vampires like those in the Catholic Church hierarchy.

You've got some things mixed up here, vampires hate crucifixes and suck blood!
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 11:23 AM on May 25, 2012 [3 favorites]


"the butler did it"...
posted by oonh at 11:26 AM on May 25, 2012


the leaking of sensitive church documents.

Would these be the ones that explain the papal-tied bank person who was hung by a bridge in the 1980's?
posted by rough ashlar at 11:26 AM on May 25, 2012


mwhybark: "is there a prison in Vatican City? wonder what the crime rate is."

One. First time it's been used.
posted by stbalbach at 11:27 AM on May 25, 2012


We better not let Dan Brown see this thread.
posted by Fizz at 11:29 AM on May 25, 2012 [2 favorites]


is there a prison in Vatican City? wonder what the crime rate is.

Assuming the entire church hierarchy is in on the coverup of sex scandals, 100%.
posted by zombieflanders at 11:32 AM on May 25, 2012 [5 favorites]


spitbull:
"Spread it around. Sunlight is not only best disinfectant. It's absolutely toxic to vampires like those in the Catholic Church hierarchy."
I have to say that the front page article isn't very assuring. Very InfoWarsy.
posted by charred husk at 11:32 AM on May 25, 2012 [2 favorites]


If Downton Abbey has taught me nothing more, Paolo Gabriele is the Pope's valet, not butler.
posted by Muddler at 11:37 AM on May 25, 2012 [3 favorites]


I mean, really? This is who he choose to go to?
posted by charred husk at 11:42 AM on May 25, 2012


is there a prison in Vatican City? wonder what the crime rate is.

There is not a prison. Those sentenced to prison terms serve the time in Italian prisons. The crime rate is the highest per capita in the world, because there are very few residents and many crimes perpetrated mostly on and by the millions of visitors to the Vatican each year (e.g. pickpocketing).
posted by ThisIsNotMe at 11:44 AM on May 25, 2012 [6 favorites]


>>Personally, I think it's time for some predator drone action in Vatican City.

>I think the last thing Vatican City needs is more predators.

Or drones, really.
posted by maryr at 11:47 AM on May 25, 2012 [5 favorites]


THE CHURCH POLICE!!!!!

The Church Police, they live inside of my head.
The Church Police, they come to me in my bed.
The Chirch Police, they're coming to arrest me, oh no!!!
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 11:49 AM on May 25, 2012 [3 favorites]


It's absolutely toxic to vampires like those in the Catholic Church hierarchy.

Honestly I think actual vampires would be less offensive.
posted by elizardbits at 11:57 AM on May 25, 2012 [1 favorite]


True dat. Sorry for insulting vampires.* Yeah, the Vatileaks website is sort of silly.

*Some of my best friends are vampires, I swear!
posted by spitbull at 12:11 PM on May 25, 2012 [1 favorite]


Why didn't Benedict choose the name "Innocent"?
posted by telstar at 12:14 PM on May 25, 2012 [1 favorite]


Mr. Carson will be most displeased. The limp was one thing, but stealing?!
posted by basicchannel at 12:18 PM on May 25, 2012 [1 favorite]


Why didn't Benedict choose the name "Innocent" Arnold?

An even better question.
posted by Fizz at 12:33 PM on May 25, 2012 [2 favorites]


I really wish we knew more. If he did the leaking, what were his motives? How many people are involved? And if this goes to trial, how much will he spill?
posted by lesbiassparrow at 1:14 PM on May 25, 2012


And the previously doesn't seem hugely relevant to or informant about this particular case.
posted by lesbiassparrow at 1:17 PM on May 25, 2012


lesbiassparrow:
"And the previously doesn't seem hugely relevant to or informant about this particular case."
Especially since the leaked documents were about favoritism in handing out contracts and some banking issues. Nothing about the child abuse stuff.
posted by charred husk at 1:28 PM on May 25, 2012


Honestly I think actual vampires would be less offensive.

In those robes, the Pope sparkles quite a bit in the sunlight....
posted by GenjiandProust at 1:53 PM on May 25, 2012


Told him he should get a Mr. Butlertron.
posted by drezdn at 2:06 PM on May 25, 2012


Maybe someone will leak stuff about the vaticans involvement with Banco Ambrosini and the P2 Lodge.

Or maybe a better list of P2 memebers (hello there Mr Berlusconi).

Interesting Independent article on the release of Mehmet Ali Agca. [wikipedia on the assassination attempt].

Also, Vatileaks could do with a search funtion.
posted by marienbad at 2:14 PM on May 25, 2012


This is terrible. I'm sure Jesus' butler never did anything like this.
posted by weezy at 2:31 PM on May 25, 2012 [6 favorites]


Courtesy link to Vatileaks.

I don't have much sympathy for the Church, but the stuff on that blog is utter nonsense.
posted by junco at 4:08 PM on May 25, 2012 [1 favorite]


I really wish we knew more. If he did the leaking, what were his motives? How many people are involved?

The exact relationship seems murky at this point, but this may enlighten more than that blog (which seems to have merely co-opted the name used in the Italian media, rather than represent an actual Vatican counterpart to Wikileaks). There seem to be many aspects to this scandal, highlighting a general lack of respect for the guy upstairs (interpret that as you may).
posted by dhartung at 12:27 AM on May 26, 2012 [1 favorite]


If Downton Abbey has taught me nothing more, Paolo Gabriele is the Pope's valet, not butler.

It appears his duties overlap both English titles -- he helps the Pope dress, helps him to breakfast (and eats with him! The Dowager Countess gasps), but also carries the keys and directs other members of the household staff. The most common Italian word I found describing him is maggiordomo (majordomo, which is closer to butler, but Google translates oddly as "waiter" rather than the obvious "maitre'd"), although I didn't find his formal title anywhere.

There is also a prefect of the household, who is an Archbishop, but appears to have less of a hand in daily activities.
posted by dhartung at 12:44 AM on May 26, 2012


Thank you, thisisnotme.

despite the limitless possibilities for clerical misbehavior jollification, I was in fact mostly wondering about how they handled actual guy-in-the-crowd pickpockets or jealous murdery amongst the Swiss Guard. Question answered: they outsource, of course!
posted by mwhybark at 1:00 AM on May 26, 2012


I found this article at The Daily Beast a good background to the Vatileaks, if anyone else is wondering where this issue started: Vatileaks exposes internal memos of the Catholic Church.
posted by harriet vane at 6:33 AM on May 26, 2012 [1 favorite]


TheWhiteSkull No-one expects the Spanish Roman Inquisition!

No, no, it's more of a casual chat.
posted by johnn at 9:22 AM on May 30, 2012


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