You Love This Girl

June 7, 2012 8:24 PM

Justin Bieber is holding a contest to find the best "Girlfriend" version of his hit "Boyfriend". This girl has clearly already won—both the contest and our hearts.

Warning: She can't sing.

posted by juliplease (57 comments total)

I'm not sure she could carry a tune with a wheelbarrow*, but I sure do like the lyrics.

*to be fair, neither can I
posted by AMSBoethius at 8:28 PM on June 7, 2012 [2 favorites]

That was hilarious.
posted by XMLicious at 8:29 PM on June 7, 2012 [2 favorites]

Bonus points for the silent intro and outro to the video!
posted by TwoWordReview at 8:31 PM on June 7, 2012 [16 favorites]

She also makes a mean rabbit.
posted by cjorgensen at 8:35 PM on June 7, 2012 [5 favorites]

That was fucking awesome. It really helps that she's clearly cross-eyed.
posted by phaedon at 8:40 PM on June 7, 2012

juliplease: "Warning: She can't sing."

well maybe you can't listen right.
posted by boo_radley at 8:43 PM on June 7, 2012 [18 favorites]

That was hilarious and perfectly executed. If she put any more effort into singing, I think it would have killed the joke.
posted by yaymukund at 8:44 PM on June 7, 2012 [4 favorites]

This level of awesome is rarely seen.
posted by Bovine Love at 8:45 PM on June 7, 2012 [3 favorites]

I do indeed love this girl, she's treating the competition with the gravity it deserves.
posted by arcticseal at 8:52 PM on June 7, 2012 [12 favorites]

for those lyrics, and especially for those eyes, I listened to a Bieber track. for that only she should win SOMETHING.
posted by Bohemia Mountain at 8:55 PM on June 7, 2012 [9 favorites]

That was awesome. And she reminds me of one of those cat clocks.
posted by 4ster at 9:22 PM on June 7, 2012 [4 favorites]

Bonus points for the silent intro and outro to the video!

Mostly because whispering Bieb freeeeeeeaks me out.
posted by Nonsteroidal Anti-Inflammatory Drug at 9:36 PM on June 7, 2012

Warning, the last link pretty much freaks out if you have cookies disabled.
posted by George_Spiggott at 10:12 PM on June 7, 2012

I hope this girl is considering a career in show business, her timing, smarts, and ability to mug for the camera are quite something indeed.
posted by Phlegmco(tm) at 10:12 PM on June 7, 2012 [7 favorites]

Also (having enabled cookies just for this), I suspect that half the autotuned divettes working today can't sing any better than her. Probably not as well.
posted by George_Spiggott at 10:14 PM on June 7, 2012

Popped in here to post this, but see I was beaten to the punch.

Someone on Reddit noticed that around about :41 she does an awesome Steve Buschemi impression; head turn and nod.

Young mystery woman, when you make it to Second City in Chicago as you deserve to, please tweet that and I'll be in line for tickets.
posted by MarvinTheCat at 10:16 PM on June 7, 2012 [4 favorites]

I don't know what I was expecting by listening to a Justin Bieber track, but I don't think it was that.
posted by tylerkaraszewski at 10:33 PM on June 7, 2012

She only blinked about three times through the whole song.
posted by caryatid at 10:36 PM on June 7, 2012 [6 favorites]

This loops pretty well.
posted by BungaDunga at 10:53 PM on June 7, 2012

Oh, good god - I've just realised why "boyfriend makes me wet" was a trending topic on Twitter a couple of weeks back...
posted by sodium lights the horizon at 11:24 PM on June 7, 2012 [2 favorites]

I love that most of the entries to this have a few dozen, maybe a few hundred views. In one day, she has almost 700,000 thanks to reddit, tosh.0, et al.

The Steve Buscemi head turn is spot on.
posted by disillusioned at 12:38 AM on June 8, 2012 [1 favorite]

Interestingly, she's already become a meme: Overly Attached Girlfriend

Extension of the joke or example of the internet's (reddit's) underlying misogyny? You decide!
posted by litleozy at 12:41 AM on June 8, 2012 [3 favorites]

That was pure win! I actually think it makes it better that she can't sing. I mean, you would never dare point it out to her, would you?
posted by Harald74 at 12:46 AM on June 8, 2012 [1 favorite]

Reminds me of the movie "misery"
posted by mulligan at 12:56 AM on June 8, 2012 [1 favorite]

omg hilarious. worth watching a few times for the full effect.
posted by gen at 12:57 AM on June 8, 2012

All inexplicable trends on Twitter are either this guy or One Direction.

I've never heard any sing, not have I heard a parody of their songs.
Of this I am strangely proud.
posted by Mezentian at 1:12 AM on June 8, 2012

Extension of the joke or example of the internet's (reddit's) underlying misogyny? You decide!

It's Reddit, so 10-25% option A, the rest option B.
posted by ArmyOfKittens at 1:38 AM on June 8, 2012

Love it.
"Girlfriend, girlfriend, I will be your girlfriend, I will be your girlfriend, I WILL BE YOUR GIRLFRIEND"
posted by EndsOfInvention at 2:10 AM on June 8, 2012 [8 favorites]

I dated someone like that once... It stops being cute and funny real damn quick, let me tell you!
posted by HuronBob at 2:22 AM on June 8, 2012

Clearly nobody on the Bieber management team had seen Audition when they came up with this contest.
posted by Shepherd at 2:44 AM on June 8, 2012 [3 favorites]

With reference to inexplicable Twitter trends:
#ZaynUseUSTREAMYouHomo is the third highest trending right now (at least in Australia, I don't Twitter so I remain confused). It's about One Direction. I'm not sure what it's about.

In fact, of the 10 trending whatists, five are JB or OD related.

Someone gave children the keys to the Internet.

#Eternal September
posted by Mezentian at 2:52 AM on June 8, 2012 [1 favorite]

I don't think it's cool that we're picking on that poor Justin kid. He's what, 10 years old? Come on guys, we're better than this. He's just a semi-talented kid trying to make it big in this work-a-day world. Let him have his fun before he has to go back to school. Besides, he likes to eat fondue by a fire.
posted by NoMich at 4:02 AM on June 8, 2012 [1 favorite]

Totally impressed by her comic timing and emphasis, and those huge unblinking eyes.
Dismayed by yet another addition to the "women are CRAZY" stereotype.

I can't decide whether the dismay is an overreaction or not
posted by Baethan at 4:29 AM on June 8, 2012 [1 favorite]

derail

the JB video is one of the first videos i've seen in a while, and while I enjoyed the song (I know, right?!) it's funny how one looks at things differently when older and more cynical.

i'm watching this, looking at all those women stare longingly at him, watching him drive the muscle car, and the thoughts that come to my head are "geez, hasn't the 'trope' of desirous women and fast cars been played out already?"

And it's not b/c it's Justin B. I also decided to look at video for "Rain Over Me" (Marc Anthony/Pitbull) and the only thoughts were "wow, those camera movements are getting me dizzy; i think they're there to hide the fact that none of these 2 guys can dance"

As a younger kid, I would have lit up at these videos and totally daydreamed about being in either of their shoes - cool, and smooth and irresistible. Now I'm 'beanplating' everything. I'm such a square.
posted by bitteroldman at 4:43 AM on June 8, 2012

10 minutes ago if you had told me I watch a Bieber parody video all the way through, then go watch part of the original to compare, I would have thought you were fecking crazy.

This is a lot of weird to digest before 8:30 AM EST. It could be an interesting day.
posted by COD at 5:22 AM on June 8, 2012 [1 favorite]

10 minutes ago if you had told me I watch a Bieber parody video all the way through, then go watch part of the original to compare, I would have thought you were fecking crazy.

(previously)
posted by 256 at 5:36 AM on June 8, 2012

This is my favourite Justin Bieber song. Like Sigur Ros playing drunk in a cathedral being washed away by the sea.
posted by Sebmojo at 5:44 AM on June 8, 2012

Aww man, it's not there any more. Try this.
posted by Sebmojo at 5:46 AM on June 8, 2012 [1 favorite]

Her level of mock earnestness of the terrifying kind is just perfect. Anyone receiving something just like this but made seriously and with seductive intentions should proptly get a face rebuilding surgery, a dozen fake passports in different names, and a small hut among the headhunters of Papua's mountains to hide in for the next few years.
posted by Iosephus at 6:05 AM on June 8, 2012

She reminds me a bit of Sue Heck from The Middles.
posted by Mick at 6:38 AM on June 8, 2012

I watched it last night, but haven't been able to get it out of my head. Those eyes!! What a great performance, and a clever take.
posted by gemmy at 7:01 AM on June 8, 2012

heh. That was some good crazy-eyes.
posted by Zed at 7:46 AM on June 8, 2012

I'm so out of touch with pop culture that I have this urge to like Justin Bieber because everybody hates him. Surely there's some young lady out there who wouldn't think that poor, unpopular fellow is so bad?
posted by straight at 8:13 AM on June 8, 2012

She's so brilliant and I love it. And because she's so good and the lyrics are clever and massively over-the-top, I like to think that it's satire, a send-up of how kids like Justin Bieber think of "crazy bitches". I hope I'm right.

I also hope she doesn't win the contest, because even if it is satire the intended audience isn't going to get it and this is a really nasty stereotype to perpetuate.
posted by AmandaA at 8:45 AM on June 8, 2012

I like to think that it's satire, a send-up of how kids like Justin Bieber think of "crazy bitches". I hope I'm right.

A few seconds in and I had assumed it was satire, and that everyone knew that. Seems really obvious that it's a satire. Are a lot of people really reading it as something else? If that's true then I agree it is problematic.
posted by Doleful Creature at 9:21 AM on June 8, 2012 [1 favorite]

I'd be shocked if most viewers think this is making fun of people who see girls as being like this. I assume most people think this is making fun of all those clingy girls who are totally like that amirite?
posted by straight at 9:57 AM on June 8, 2012

That was hilarious. I love that girl.
posted by ThatCanadianGirl at 10:03 AM on June 8, 2012

I'd be shocked if most viewers think this is making fun of people who see girls as being like this. I assume most people think this is making fun of all those clingy girls who are totally like that amirite?

You'd be surprised. For some young women 'stalking' idol groups is just what they do. Frankly it's confusing , I mean, how exactly do you have a 'rally' for a boy band?

But fuck it if some people have some fun dancing and hanging out , and while it means something to them while they're young. They're kids. They have a few years before they get to me or someone like me at university who's going to start making noises about consumerism and gender roles. Most of them don't listen then either. You do what you can, and enjoy the dorky dancing.
posted by Hello, I'm David McGahan at 12:02 PM on June 8, 2012

Wait, I thought it was a over-the-top satire of the kinds of female-fronted pop songs that talk about wanting to be someone's girlfriend, and how the other girls need to back off etc etc, because those singers invariably sound crazy as hell?
posted by FatherDagon at 12:58 PM on June 8, 2012

This
posted by pandrus at 1:40 PM on June 8, 2012

Wait, I thought it was a over-the-top satire of the kinds of female-fronted pop songs that talk about wanting to be someone's girlfriend, and how the other girls need to back off etc etc, because those singers invariably sound crazy as hell?
posted by FatherDagon at 12:58 PM on June 8 [+] [!]

I believe that's what it is unless you are insane, FatherDagon.

As you probably know well, being all, y'know, Lovecraftian.
posted by Sebmojo at 3:26 PM on June 8, 2012

I was pretty sure it was a satire of "Boyfriend" itself, since the lyrics to the original are pretty patently "boy writes a love song about stalking a potentially disinterested woman that moistens the panties of millions of girls and validates the feelings of millions of thwarted, lovesick, misunderstood boys." In that her gender wasn't as important as the satirizing of the fucked-up ideas we call love in our culture. (She was performing the girl-version of that crazy, but the point of the video was to do a "Girlfriend" counterpart.)

That said, I actually love Bieber, "Boyfriend," and the accompanying video. I think it's funny (interesting) that as someone pointed out, the girls/fast car trope is quite played out-- which is exactly why it was chosen, to depict Bieber's crossover into of-age sex appeal. It's a well-established image of power and attraction and one which is unexpected from an ersatz tween star, used cheekily to prove that he's playing the big game now. (The song's insistence on spending money on the girlfriend-in-question serves the same function, everyone expects Bieber to pine after his dream girl, no one expects Bieber to be making it rain). The sublimated sex appeal of his earlier work (appealing to young girls for whom sexuality isn't acceptable yet) is now explicit in the most crowd-pleasing of ways. Basically his team is being like, you've been having secret Beatlesmania-esque wet dreams about the Bieb since you learned what sex was, and now look at me, I can please you in every single way and I'm not shy about it. Huge fantasy fulfillment and the replay of the typical cars, diamonds and money trope is fresh because it's so suggestive to his audience.

The other recent video I can think of that plays with this fast-cars trope by re-using it and making it fresh is the "Otis" video for Jay-Z and Kanye's single that performs the same function-- the lyrics are clear that Jay and Ye have got "all the girls sellin' out," which is "pretty good, for some immigrants"-- in other words, both rappers have enough accumulated capital to turn that into cultural capital and thus woo an audience that looks down on them and their art form and their expected audience. So, they can both meet the sophisticated needs of high-class women and also draw them into their own world of luxury-rap (sellin' out).

Also, no one should hate Bieber-- he's sweet, talented kid and his Twitter is actually pretty funny! (He commented on the release of Madagascar 3 by claiming that he just didn't get the closure he needed with the first two. Also silly jokes about Swedish Fish.)
posted by stoneandstar at 4:37 PM on June 8, 2012 [4 favorites]

Also, yeah, if people can see the crazy in "Girlfriend" (this version) and not see that it's a play on the subtle creep-factor of "Boyfriend," they probably mostly love it for its "women be crazy" laffs. Maybe.

I like to think that it's satire, a send-up of how kids like Justin Bieber think of "crazy bitches". I hope I'm right.

I don't think it's satire in this way, I think it's satire of the creepy rhetoric of love songs in general, and out cultural idea of what love is. It's in dialect with Bieber's song. And whaa?? Has Justin Bieber said such a thing? He's said a few lamentable things about abortion &c. (when he was a little bb in the spotlight) but he seems alright.
posted by stoneandstar at 4:45 PM on June 8, 2012 [1 favorite]

Supposedly Bieber is so clueless when asked about abortion in the case of rape it's "sad" but "everything happens for a reason." So, yeah. And yes, that's a wild derail. But since you were like "noone should hate Bieber!" well...

Anyway, as for this, I too love this girl.
posted by ifjuly at 1:50 PM on June 11, 2012

The girl from the video (AKA Overly Attached Girlfriend now that she's a meme) and now has a Call Me Maybe video
posted by melissam at 3:26 PM on June 18, 2012

That's terrifying, she deserves her own episode in something like Criminal Minds by now. Young lady, be careful now or you might stumble into a career as a character actress.
posted by Iosephus at 7:08 PM on June 18, 2012

She'll be stereotyped before she knows it. Keep clear of the comments though.
posted by arcticseal at 7:50 PM on June 18, 2012