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When visiting ebay, be sure to keep your speakers on.
June 15, 2012 3:56 PM   Subscribe

"STOP! This is NOT a DVD! STOP! This is NOT a DVD! STOP! This is NOT a DVD!"
posted by zardoz (57 comments total) 23 users marked this as a favorite

 
This made me think immediately of the Pre-Taped Call In Show from Mr. Show. I picture that poor eBay seller pulling his hair out and chain smoking.
posted by Joey Michaels at 4:00 PM on June 15, 2012 [12 favorites]


Soooo...

...

...is this a DVD?
posted by Strange Interlude at 4:01 PM on June 15, 2012 [1 favorite]


No speakers here at work, so the yt video was pretty boring. On the other hand, $1.99 is a pretty good price for a toy story dvd, think I'll go bid on it.
posted by 445supermag at 4:01 PM on June 15, 2012 [39 favorites]


I can just imagine walking through a store, picking up an item, and then being told loudly that it wasn't what I expected.

I have had warnings at certain ethnic restaurants ("thats for locals only"), but it would be nice to have it so forcefully.
posted by jonbro at 4:03 PM on June 15, 2012


.
posted by feckless at 4:04 PM on June 15, 2012


er, is ethnic restaurants PC? If not, sorry about that. I am beyond tired.
posted by jonbro at 4:04 PM on June 15, 2012 [1 favorite]


ETHNIC restaurants, sir? ETHNIC?

Which ones? I'm always looking for something delicious.
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 4:09 PM on June 15, 2012 [3 favorites]


STOP! ethnic restaurants is NOT PC! STOP! ethnic restaurants is NOT PC! STOP! ethnic restaurants is NOT PC!
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 4:10 PM on June 15, 2012 [14 favorites]


put directly on the forehead!
posted by peachfuzz at 4:10 PM on June 15, 2012 [8 favorites]


You think dealing with eBay buyers is a hassle? Go ahead and try to sell something on your local Craigslist without going slowly crazy having to deal with the absolute morons that come out of the woodwork. Especially something that might be seen as desirable like a year-old Mac or iPhone or iPad. Seriously, how do some of these people even get their clothes on in the morning? That they've somehow stumbled across CL and are able to actually mash buttons on their keyboard in such a fashion that they're able to actually send an email is nothing short of miraculous.

No, I won't trade my year-old iPad for your "original mint-condition Sega Genesis."

I don't fault this seller one bit. He's clearly run the idiot buyer gauntlet many times and has proactively tried to prevent further grief.
posted by mrbarrett.com at 4:13 PM on June 15, 2012 [6 favorites]


That is wonderful. I bet he has a similar one for use in responding to eBay when they contact him regarding the, no doubt many, complaints received from his DVD backer card sales.

STOP! STOP! STOP! THIS WAS NOT A FRAUDULENT SALE! STOP! READ! READ THE DESCRIPTION!
posted by gilrain at 4:15 PM on June 15, 2012 [1 favorite]


Although, to be honest his emphatic audio instructional is pretty much necessary to distinguish him from genuine scammers who would use virtually identical descriptions. How many times have you seen something like:

BRAND NEW KITCHEN PRO MIXER NEVER USED spare dough hook
posted by gilrain at 4:20 PM on June 15, 2012 [1 favorite]


"STOP! This is NOT the BEST OF THE WEB! STOP! This is NOT the BEST OF THE WEB! STOP! This is NOT the BEST OF THE WEB!"
posted by chavenet at 4:21 PM on June 15, 2012 [4 favorites]


@ Bunny Ultramod

Ah, I was thinking of the dim sum place that just opened down the street from my office. I ordered some short ribs, and the waitress very politely informed me that THESE ARE SMALL RIBS. THEY ARE VERY SMALL.
posted by jonbro at 4:24 PM on June 15, 2012


And you thought the eBay-sold PSP box was bad...
posted by Smart Dalek at 4:27 PM on June 15, 2012


genuine scammers who would use virtually identical descriptions
posted by XMLicious at 4:27 PM on June 15, 2012


on his negative feedback page you can almost pinpoint the moment when he added the yelling, and then post that when people continued to ignore him.

also, rip .
posted by jonbro at 4:30 PM on June 15, 2012


So basically he's selling slip-ins for people who want to pirate DVDs but are too lazy to print their own labels?

I mean, how could he possibly get 'legitimate' DVD backing cards? Why would Disney sell them separately from the DVDs themselves?

That said, given the cost of inkjet ink and paper it's probably a pretty decent price.
posted by delmoi at 4:31 PM on June 15, 2012 [1 favorite]


UPDATE from June 15th. 2012:
It just came to my attention that this ebay seller recently passed away from Cystic Fibrosis . Hopefully this video will be a good memorial for him and the laughs he brought to all of us...
RIP Mr. Angry Ebay Seller! We all loved you.


huh.
posted by elizardbits at 4:33 PM on June 15, 2012 [1 favorite]


I mean, how could he possibly get 'legitimate' DVD backing cards?

I assume from places like blockbuster?
posted by OwlBoy at 4:35 PM on June 15, 2012 [1 favorite]


Ah, I was thinking of the dim sum place that just opened down the street from my office. I ordered some short ribs, and the waitress very politely informed me that THESE ARE SMALL RIBS. THEY ARE VERY SMALL.

Ah yes, I once ordered a "pickled cabbage and pork bellies" hot pot at a local Chinese restaurant. The waitress (whose English wasn't great) looked a little concerned, rubbed her abdomen and said, "are you sure? It is... stomach meat". Sure, I thought, I love pork belly. So tender and fatty.

You can probably see where this is going.
posted by A Thousand Baited Hooks at 4:36 PM on June 15, 2012


So what he's trying to say is that it's a DVD, right? Clearly I'm correct.
posted by Malice at 4:36 PM on June 15, 2012 [1 favorite]


.
posted by Obscure Reference at 4:40 PM on June 15, 2012


.
posted by Navelgazer at 4:41 PM on June 15, 2012


Ah yes, I once ordered a "pickled cabbage and pork bellies" hot pot at a local Chinese restaurant. The waitress (whose English wasn't great) looked a little concerned, rubbed her abdomen and said, "are you sure? It is... stomach meat". Sure, I thought, I love pork belly. So tender and fatty.

You can probably see where this is going.


Instead of delicious pork belly you got even more delicious pork tripe?
posted by kmz at 4:42 PM on June 15, 2012 [1 favorite]


Instead of delicious pork belly you got even more delicious pork tripe?

It was actually pretty good. Pig stomach goes surprisingly well with pickled cabbage.
posted by A Thousand Baited Hooks at 4:47 PM on June 15, 2012


The piece of paper that goes in your DVD case (softbox, Amarayâ„¢) behind the clear plastic is more likely called an inlay or slipsheet. These are not that.
posted by achrise at 4:48 PM on June 15, 2012


Dodgy Gear huh? Not quite as advertised? This is a winner in those categories - Chinese Hard Drive.
posted by marienbad at 4:48 PM on June 15, 2012


Wow. That's cheap for a Toy Story DVD.
posted by Splunge at 4:51 PM on June 15, 2012


I'm going to pay for that item with a picture of a five dollar bill.
posted by Ron Thanagar at 4:59 PM on June 15, 2012 [2 favorites]


Ah yes, I once ordered a "pickled cabbage and pork bellies" hot pot at a local Chinese restaurant. The waitress (whose English wasn't great) looked a little concerned, rubbed her abdomen and said, "are you sure? It is... stomach meat".

Oh man, I've had so many moments in Vietnamese and Thai places where the waiter asked me if I was "sure" I wanted whatever thing I ordered (often something fermented), and would recommend something else, like spring rolls or fried rice. Really? I'm trying to figure out if there's a politic way to say 'pretend I'm not white when I order this.' And yes, when I say 'Hot. Like, Thai hot' I don't mean 'like a white guy would like when he thinks he wants Thai hot'.
posted by FatherDagon at 5:08 PM on June 15, 2012 [2 favorites]


This made me think immediately of the Pre-Taped Call In Show from Mr. Show. yt I picture that poor eBay seller pulling his hair out and chain smoking.

You mean MeFi's own Pre-Taped Call In Show.

Also, eBay lets people post auto-playing sound????
posted by benito.strauss at 5:11 PM on June 15, 2012


YOU! THE ONE WHO IS SHOPPING NOW! THIS IS NOT A DVD!
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 5:13 PM on June 15, 2012 [10 favorites]


Wait, A Thousand Baited Hooks, you mean you got the pig's stomach instead of its belly? Like what would be "tripe" if it were a cow?

I actually like that in a lot of cuisines (including the Pennsylvania equivalent of haggis, which has a complicated German name I don't remember), but I would be disappointed if I had my face fixed for pork belly and instead got pork stomach.
posted by Sidhedevil at 5:16 PM on June 15, 2012


So basically he's selling slip-ins for people who want to pirate DVDs but are too lazy to print their own labels?

No. It's the little display card for the bin that the DVDs are in that they use at the store. It's like an advertisement.

Apparently some people collect them.
posted by Bonzai at 5:26 PM on June 15, 2012


It just came to my attention that this ebay seller recently passed away from Cystic Fibrosis

Probably true since I don't know much about it.. but there is also reason for someone selling possibly questionable Disney merchandise on Ebay who has suddenly gained wide attention to want to disappear.
posted by stbalbach at 5:52 PM on June 15, 2012


Having done my share of selling on ebay, my sympathies definitely lie with the seller here.

(And on the subject of restaurant warnings - It's a running joke in my family that whenever we go to Dim Sum we are never able to order chicken feet without being given the second degree from the waitstaff, who are generally suspicious about our truly understanding what we just ordered)
posted by The Gooch at 5:57 PM on June 15, 2012


Aren't you pretty much screwed as a seller if a buyer complains? I feel like we've had a few AskMe questions about that. I understand why this guy is so adamant. People are idiots.

My coworker was driving home the other day and saw a guy throwing out a toddler-sized monster truck, the kind that has a battery. She has a 4 year old boy, so she stopped the car and took it from him. She was incredulous that he was throwing it out instead of selling it. I said, think about it: it would be a huge PITA to ship it anywhere, so eBay is out. Craigslist is a huge timesuck. I spent about 20 hours of my life trying to sell an entertainment center for $50 and ended up putting it on the curb. It's just not worth trying to sell random shit you have laying around.
posted by desjardins at 5:58 PM on June 15, 2012 [1 favorite]


I get his frustration, but if I were him I'd have tried to address it by labeling my auctions like this: "BACKER CARD COLLECTIBLE TOY STORY 3 DISNEY PIXAR..." and so on, instead of "Backer card" being the last two words in a very long description.
posted by not that girl at 6:12 PM on June 15, 2012 [2 favorites]


Funny, but seems like a prank?
posted by ian1977 at 6:20 PM on June 15, 2012


Desjardins, isn't that why Goodwill exists?
posted by c'mon sea legs at 6:23 PM on June 15, 2012 [3 favorites]


It's a running joke in my family that whenever we go to Dim Sum we are never able to order chicken feet without being given the second degree from the waitstaff, who are generally suspicious about our truly understanding what we just ordered.

Every time I go for dim sum, I never see the chicken feet. My table of white people gets skipped over. One time, a friend of mine who is half-Chinese but doesn't look it came with us. He spotted the chicken feet cart and called the server over. She seemed so excited when the seemingly white guy happily ordered some chicken feet.
posted by asnider at 6:35 PM on June 15, 2012 [1 favorite]


STOP! THIS IS NOT A DVD! STOP! HAMMER TIME!
posted by littlesq at 6:49 PM on June 15, 2012 [3 favorites]


Craigslist is a huge timesuck. I spent about 20 hours of my life trying to sell an entertainment center for $50 and ended up putting it on the curb. It's just not worth trying to sell random shit you have laying around.

The answer to your question is "freecycle". People will come and get all kinds of random crap and you don't have to figure out where the Goodwill/Salvation Army is, buy an armored car to be safe in that neighborhood and endure their contempt because your diamond necklace wasn't enough carats.

But I don't get the "timesuck" argument about CL. I listed something, had a guy come and give me cash and take it away. Done and done, a total of maybe 1 hr for $300. Post a clear ad and don't respond to the idiots.
posted by DU at 7:01 PM on June 15, 2012


.
posted by radwolf76 at 7:08 PM on June 15, 2012


Wait, A Thousand Baited Hooks, you mean you got the pig's stomach instead of its belly? Like what would be "tripe" if it were a cow?

I think it was the stomach. It might have been intestine, but I've had that before (as a result of ordering randomly from the menu in a Korean barbecue restaurant in Japan) and this was a bit different. It was definitely part of the pig's digestive system, anyway.
posted by A Thousand Baited Hooks at 7:13 PM on June 15, 2012


I'm more interested on how you embed auto-playing audio into Ebay's pages.
posted by solarion at 7:56 PM on June 15, 2012 [2 favorites]


One completely non-ethnic burger place local to me always gets me because I live in an area that is fairly contested in the great struggle of Pop vs. Soda. Now, they have fizzy water and they have cherry syrup and they will happily blend the two for you. "Cherry" is even listed as a soft drink flavor after Pepsi, etc. But if you ask for a "cherry soda", what they give you is something that has ice cream in it. It's certainly not a bad concept, but even having known for years that this is what they mean, I still wish there was some sort of warning to scream at me in the menu so that I'd stop reflexively asking for a cherry soda when what I need to ask for is a cherry phosphate.
posted by gracedissolved at 7:58 PM on June 15, 2012


Jeez, you guys...maybe he was just trying to send a very urgent telegram.
posted by obscurator at 8:31 PM on June 15, 2012 [2 favorites]


Have we got a video?
posted by unknowncommand at 9:06 PM on June 15, 2012


I'm trying to figure out if there's a politic way to say 'pretend I'm not white when I order this.'

Learn some Thai? There's probably some poor Asian anti-you treating their mouth blisters and prodding their fermented yuck as we speak.
posted by Phalene at 9:23 PM on June 15, 2012


YOU! THE ONE WHO IS SHOPPING NOW! THIS IS NOT A DVD!

EXPERIENCE BEESH!
posted by JHarris at 10:32 PM on June 15, 2012 [1 favorite]


> I'm trying to figure out if there's a politic way to say 'pretend I'm not white when I order this.'

Learn some Thai?


This. My ex knew Mandarin, and we were regularly able to get things from the "special menu" when we went out for Chinese food. Sometimes we didn't even have to order them (we went out for Sichuan hot pot once, and a guy at the next table heard my ex ask the waitress something in Mandarin and was so impressed that he turned around and started talking to him, and after the two had a lively ten-minute conversation, none of which I understood, the guy gave us all his leftovers).
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 12:08 PM on June 16, 2012


I'm trying to figure out if there's a politic way to say 'pretend I'm not white when I order this.'

The New Yorker profile of Jonathan Gold (sadly now paywalled) claims that Gold has a lawyer friend who has a business card on which is written, in Thai, something to the effect of "I know I am not thai, but please serve me the food as spicy as I request it anyway; I know what I'm doing."
posted by kenko at 12:05 AM on June 17, 2012


Wait, A Thousand Baited Hooks, you mean you got the pig's stomach instead of its belly? Like what would be "tripe" if it were a cow?

I think it was the stomach. It might have been intestine, but I've had that before (as a result of ordering randomly from the menu in a Korean barbecue restaurant in Japan) and this was a bit different. It was definitely part of the pig's digestive system, anyway.


Tripe is the lining of a cow's stomach. If you ate that in Japan it was almost certainly motsu or horumon (I think they're the same thing), which is pig intestines. Small intestines. I've heard it's delicious but I can't cross that line.
posted by zardoz at 5:46 AM on June 17, 2012


Andouillette chinoise?
posted by XMLicious at 6:50 AM on June 17, 2012


Tripe is the lining of a cow's stomach. If you ate that in Japan it was almost certainly motsu or horumon (I think they're the same thing), which is pig intestines. Small intestines. I've heard it's delicious but I can't cross that line.

There is a fantastic taco stand not too far from me that serves any number of items not found at your typical Mexican joint, including buche (pig-stomach) tacos. They are delicious, but you definitely know what you're eating.
posted by The Gooch at 10:25 AM on June 17, 2012


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