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River. Of. Ducks.
June 22, 2012 12:48 PM   Subscribe

[SLYT] Two thousand ducks cross the road to get to the field on the other side.
posted by not_on_display (81 comments total) 23 users marked this as a favorite

 
Yes, but why?
posted by carsonb at 12:50 PM on June 22, 2012 [2 favorites]


You forgot the duckduckduckduckduckduck tag.
posted by bondcliff at 12:51 PM on June 22, 2012 [6 favorites]


Yes, but why?

To see what all the chickens are up to.
posted by Tomorrowful at 12:51 PM on June 22, 2012 [10 favorites]


To everyone who has never experienced the morning rush at the 42nd Street/Bryant Park stop: it's exactly like this.
posted by griphus at 12:52 PM on June 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


Now this is a video I can watch all the way through.
posted by junco at 12:53 PM on June 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


Right down to the quacking griph.

Also, what is it Duck Day or something?
posted by The Whelk at 12:54 PM on June 22, 2012


That's a lot of ducks!
posted by Nat "King" Cole Porter Wagoner at 12:54 PM on June 22, 2012


What the duck?
posted by fremen at 12:56 PM on June 22, 2012 [2 favorites]


WTD?
posted by The Bellman at 12:56 PM on June 22, 2012


...GOOSE!
posted by argonauta at 12:57 PM on June 22, 2012 [4 favorites]


Do ducks eat vegetation off the stalk? If so it sucks for that rice farmer.
posted by codacorolla at 12:58 PM on June 22, 2012


La-la-la-la-lei!!
posted by gubo at 12:58 PM on June 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


How can you possibly type "duckduck" and then not immediately add a "goose" tag?
posted by FirstMateKate at 12:58 PM on June 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


Ping!
posted by likeso at 1:00 PM on June 22, 2012 [5 favorites]


Seems like too many ducks, to be honest.
posted by gilrain at 1:02 PM on June 22, 2012 [8 favorites]


I suppose you're wondering why I asked you all here today.
posted by Gator at 1:02 PM on June 22, 2012 [17 favorites]


That exodus is nothing compared to the herd of mefits who attempted to beat carsonb in posting the "why" question.
posted by HuronBob at 1:02 PM on June 22, 2012


Needs notgoose tag.
posted by ersatzkat at 1:04 PM on June 22, 2012


A pair of Muscovy ducks are posing a threat to centuries of tradition after taking over bell ringing duties from a group of shy swans.
posted by homunculus at 1:07 PM on June 22, 2012 [3 favorites]


Heheh...fun bit of synchronicity when my iTunes shuffled to play the theme from Rawhide, as sung by the Blues Brothers, just a few seconds after this video came on.

Rollin, rollin' rollin',
Though the streams are swollen,
Keep them dogies rollin' -
Rawhide!
posted by darkstar at 1:08 PM on June 22, 2012 [2 favorites]


Cute, but they're birds for crying out loud, did it never to any of them they could have flown across in a fraction of the time? [NOT DUCKIST}
posted by tommasz at 1:08 PM on June 22, 2012 [5 favorites]


Ducks seem to forget that are capable of flight, so it always surprises them when they take off.
posted by The Whelk at 1:12 PM on June 22, 2012 [2 favorites]


Oh look! A river of ducks.

I saw some Quail do this on my way to work today. Not nearly as many, but cute as hell!
posted by PipRuss at 1:13 PM on June 22, 2012


You do not want to be beneath a duck startled into flight. FYI.
posted by elizardbits at 1:13 PM on June 22, 2012


Do ducks eat vegetation off the stalk? If so it sucks for that rice farmer.

Ducks eat agricultural pests, like slugs, bugs, snails, etc. Rice/duck or rice/duck/fish farming are known co-cultivation techniques. Here's one article on the method, which has been around for some time and is regaining popularity.

Cute, but they're birds for crying out loud, did it never to any of them they could have flown across in a fraction of the time?

Most of these appear to be heavier, domesticated breeds of duck, which tend to be less enthusiastic about flying.

Also: Yay! Ducks!
posted by pie ninja at 1:15 PM on June 22, 2012 [10 favorites]


They achieve flight via poop propulsion.
posted by The Whelk at 1:15 PM on June 22, 2012 [5 favorites]


Most of these appear to be heavier, domesticated breeds of duck, which tend to be less enthusiastic about flying.

Hell, if they're anything like the geese in my neighborhood, they may just be dumb as rocks.

I've seen two geese standing in the middle of a bike path, drinking out of a dirty puddle, WITH A WHOLE GODDAMN LAKE 10 METERS AWAY!
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 1:19 PM on June 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


Ducks eat agricultural pests, like slugs, bugs, snails, etc. Rice/duck or rice/duck/fish farming are known co-cultivation techniques. Here's one article on the method, which has been around for some time and is regaining popularity.

Huh, good to know.
posted by codacorolla at 1:19 PM on June 22, 2012


LAKE 10 METERS AWAY

I don't drink my bathwater, I wouldn't expect them to either.
posted by poe at 1:20 PM on June 22, 2012


"The notes blatted skyward as the sun rose over the Canada geese, feathered
rumps mooning the day, webbed appendages frantically pedaling unseen
bicycles in their search for sustenance, driven by cruel Nature's maxim,
'Ya wanna eat, ya gotta work,' and at last I knew Pittsburgh."
-- Sheila B. Richter, winner 1987 Bulwer-Lytton contest
posted by poe at 1:21 PM on June 22, 2012 [3 favorites]


Still using steamrollers? Let me show you how we build a road in Thailand.
posted by SharkParty at 1:25 PM on June 22, 2012


Well that's just ducky.
posted by The Whelk at 1:29 PM on June 22, 2012


Do ducks eat vegetation off the stalk? If so it sucks for that rice farmer.

Not necessarily that vegetation. My local ducks eat all the people food and herbs I try to grow in the front yard. Maybe I need to switch to rice.

Can't grow:

Dill
Lettuce
Carrots
Tomatoes
Basil
Kale
Lavender
Basil
Coriander
Melons are still up in the air ...
posted by tilde at 1:29 PM on June 22, 2012


Feast of A Thousand Ducks
posted by The otter lady at 1:30 PM on June 22, 2012


I don't drink my bathwater, I wouldn't expect them to either.

Clearly you have never raised ducks. They are pretty filthy creatures, frankly.
posted by jedicus at 1:30 PM on June 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


Melons are still up in the air ...

DUCK!
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 1:31 PM on June 22, 2012 [16 favorites]


Signs I'll probably never willingly be vegan, when I see a lot of ducks and all I can think of "Man, that's a whole lot of duck and duck fat."

And I can confirm that ducks love slugs and snails. They like eating slugs and snails so much it's actually alarming to watch them in action because it's pure carnage, a merciless, endless gastropod holocaust with gobbets of slug flesh flying everywhere, duck bills dripping and encrusted with slime and gore.

With their explosive corkscrew penises and penchant for raping nearly anything I'm pretty sure ducks are the second most evil non-human creature on the planet. First place has long been held by, of course, penguins.
posted by loquacious at 1:31 PM on June 22, 2012 [10 favorites]


Okay technically that comment was about geese, but I imagine they are similar.
posted by jedicus at 1:31 PM on June 22, 2012


How to cook a duck

Duck fat is one of the few literally magical things in the world.
posted by The Whelk at 1:32 PM on June 22, 2012 [5 favorites]


Live every week like it's Duck Week is my motto.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 1:39 PM on June 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


I got an ad for Angry Birds over my video of angry birds.
posted by yeti at 1:45 PM on June 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


Ducks! ducks! quack quack!
posted by bluesapphires at 1:46 PM on June 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


Okay technically that comment was about geese, but I imagine they are similar.

No, ducks are way worse. They make pigs look hygienic and sane. They're appalling, really. People have no idea what I'm talking about unless they've met a duck hunting bugs deep in the night. Duckbill covered in shredded mollusc gibbets, clacking and flapping away, that cold, wild cockeyed dinosaur stare.... *shudders*

Geese are similarly disgusting and evil, but where the goose is merely obstinate, foul-tempered and outright rude, the duck is decidedly aligned as chaotic evil. If "duck" was a nuclear armed nation-state we'd all glow in the dark by now.

Ducks are outright malicious raving lunatic sociopaths. It's a damn good thing they don't have hands, talons or beaks or else they would have already knifed most of the planet to death as their way of saying hello.

When God was assigning offensive and defensive weapons to all the animals, he got to the duck and said "You know what? I'm sick of your shit. Fuck you. You're getting a spork for a mouth and floppy swim fins for feet and a crooked penis. You're going to walk and talk funny forever. I'm also going to make you delicious and clumsy, because fuck you, that's why."
posted by loquacious at 1:48 PM on June 22, 2012 [49 favorites]


> WITH A WHOLE GODDAMN LAKE 10 METERS AWAY!

They probably don't use the metric system.
posted by goethean at 1:48 PM on June 22, 2012 [2 favorites]


Gooooo Ducks!
Go! Ducks! Go!
Quack! Ducks! Quack!
Go!
Quack!
Cross! Ducks! Cross!
*quackquackquackAWKwakquackquack*
posted by fraula at 1:49 PM on June 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


Per a Wagnerian recommendation in the YouTube comments.
posted by HeroZero at 1:49 PM on June 22, 2012 [3 favorites]


Can't grow:

Dill
Lettuce
Carrots
Tomatoes
Basil
Kale
Lavender
Basil
Coriander


You should try basil.
posted by Sys Rq at 1:50 PM on June 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


They probably don't use the metric system.

Um...they're Canada geese.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 1:57 PM on June 22, 2012 [6 favorites]


Ducks are outright malicious raving lunatic sociopaths.

Pretty much, yeah. But they're tasty. And some of them are awesome-looking, like the ruddy duck. And "ruddy duck" is really fun to say.
posted by rtha at 2:09 PM on June 22, 2012


The quacks are like Jon Stewart's imitation of Dick Cheney, muttered over and over again.
posted by angrycat at 2:17 PM on June 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


They're all just pissed they're not dinosaurs any more. You think they don't remember? They remember.
posted by Curious Artificer at 2:17 PM on June 22, 2012 [7 favorites]


Ducks are outright malicious raving lunatic sociopaths. It's a damn good thing they don't have hands, talons or beaks or else they would have already knifed most of the planet to death as their way of saying hello.

I had a flock of ducks on my little home-made pond for years, and never found any of this to be true. They wandered out of the pen in the morning, ate the bugs and slugs, and wandered back at night. Never bothered anyone, and even produced cute little replacements for the ones that were carried off by predators. I will say, though, that the males were terribly horny and would tear off the neck feathers of the females in their frenzy. And boinked each other if there weren't any girls around. I miss them, and have enjoyed Duck Day on Mefi.
posted by condesita at 2:19 PM on June 22, 2012 [5 favorites]


Cal me skeptical, but I'm having a hard time believing that these are ducks and not geese.
posted by obloquy at 2:20 PM on June 22, 2012


Cal me skeptical, but I'm having a hard time believing that these are ducks and not geese.

If they're geese, they must have a great dialect coach.
posted by Sys Rq at 2:25 PM on June 22, 2012 [9 favorites]


rtha's ruddy duck is all "talk to the tail, 'cause the head ain't listening".
posted by likeso at 2:30 PM on June 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


skeptical!


happy obloquy?
posted by edgeways at 2:32 PM on June 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


"How do you think I feel?! Do you think I asked for a 12 inch pianist?"
posted by Reverend John at 2:59 PM on June 22, 2012


Not Safe For Anatidaephobics

My god...at least add a NSFA tag. Keep the window shades down, everyone - even on airplanes....
posted by Kronos_to_Earth at 3:00 PM on June 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


Mrs damonism keeps ducks (we have 10 of them at the moment) and is currently in bed with a cold. I sent this to her and it's made her day. So thanks!
posted by damonism at 3:20 PM on June 22, 2012


"Who likes the little little duckies in the pond? I do, I do, I do, a chick-a-quack-quack!"
posted by Reverend John at 3:30 PM on June 22, 2012


Ducks are very tasty and homegrown ducks are even tastier, but watching that vid I could just smell them, and feel the very special experience of duck-shit between my toes. Also, plucking ducks, again the smell, the smell. Just like I was there. Even though I am in a clean, 3rd floor apartment.
posted by mumimor at 4:00 PM on June 22, 2012


squee! all the little stomping feet!
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 4:01 PM on June 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


The chicken told them it wasn't worth it, but they wouldn't listen.
posted by Chuffy at 4:29 PM on June 22, 2012


You forgot the duckduckduckduckduckduck tag.
posted by bondcliff at 12:51 PM

and #foodporn
posted by Lukenlogs at 4:49 PM on June 22, 2012


Also, the Mandarin word for duck is Yā. Which I always imagine with an exclamation point.
posted by sneebler at 4:54 PM on June 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


This is like watching a recording of a beautiful dream.
:V :V :V :V :V :V :V :V :V :V :V :V :V :V :V :V :V :V
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 5:04 PM on June 22, 2012 [5 favorites]



They're all just pissed they're not dinosaurs any more. You think they don't remember? They remember.

Ha.
posted by newpotato at 5:14 PM on June 22, 2012 [4 favorites]


They certainly seem to handle the merge into the bottleneck better than I've ever seen any sizable group of humans do.
Of course it also appears as if there is not a group of four ducks standing on the immediate other side of the bottleneck obliviously discussing where they should get lunch and if they should stop back at their place to change first or not, so that helps.
posted by newpotato at 5:36 PM on June 22, 2012 [4 favorites]


I rescued a Peking Duck in a dire state from the Gary Indiana Aquatorium 1 several years ago. I nursed it back to health (with daily ruba dub duckings in the bathtub) and kept it as a pet for about 3 weeks. There wasn't a smell or other noxiousness apart from its droppings (Duck diapers would have been a worthy investment if I'd intended to keep it in a 3rd floor apartment indefinitely 2) sufficient to put me off ducks in general as pets, so I won't be eating ducks anymore, in keeping with the "pets ≠ meat" rule. That said, however, when the duck was being particularly obstreperous, as ducks are wont to do, I would threaten to drop it off on the corner of Cermak and Wentworth 3 and see how well it fared 4.

1. Duck was named Gary, therefore.
2. Gary went to a farm. A very nice farm with lots of other ducks to play with and a big pond. I have pictures.
3. Chicago's Chinatown.
4. Until, of course, the duck was fare.
posted by Cold Lurkey at 5:57 PM on June 22, 2012 [1 favorite]


I have been hating the Canada geese that hang out on the path I use on the way to work (past a drainage pond that they have made their home). The geese crap all over the path. They stand belligerently in your way and hiss at you. But now I am just very glad that their numbers are low (<30) and not thousands.

For now, at any rate, since the geese are reproducing vigorously.
posted by bad grammar at 6:42 PM on June 22, 2012


Canadian geese can barely be considered a form of life and are, at most, a kind of moveable fungus that produces poop. If there was a prize for strangling them with your bare hands I would go for the gold every year.
posted by The Whelk at 6:52 PM on June 22, 2012 [2 favorites]


Heee, duck diapers!
posted by codacorolla at 7:23 PM on June 22, 2012


MAKE WAY, DAMN YOU. MAKE. WAY.
posted by sonika at 7:55 PM on June 22, 2012 [2 favorites]


Jesus, they're almost as annoying as the <small> tag!
posted by mazola at 8:48 PM on June 22, 2012


You think they're cuddly, but I think they're sinister!
posted by Mezentian at 8:55 PM on June 22, 2012


"Well, this looks a niiiiiiiiiiiice!...ahem...place to land."
posted by speedo at 9:48 PM on June 22, 2012 [4 favorites]


Talk about getting all your ducks in a row!
posted by batou_ at 10:36 AM on June 23, 2012


The only thing that would make that better is "The Ride of the Valkyries" as a backing track.
posted by JHarris at 1:07 PM on June 23, 2012


Ah, I see HeroZero already has me covered!
posted by JHarris at 1:11 PM on June 23, 2012


...I, for one, am going to know what to say when the ducks show up. I've made a list of phrases, and although I don't know which one to use yet, they are all good enough in case they showed up tomorrow. Many people won't know what to say when the ducks show up, but I will. Maybe I'll say, "Oh wonderful ducks!" I practice these sayings every day, and even though the ducks haven't come yet, when they do, I'll know what to say...

~Steve Martin

posted by ovvl at 4:16 PM on June 25, 2012 [1 favorite]


Since I may not have a chance to talk about foul fowl again, here is a great essay by "novelist and gozzard" Paul Theroux about the geese he has been raising in Hawaii, and the accompanying Radiolab podcast.
posted by argonauta at 4:42 PM on June 25, 2012


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