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Revenge of the Fan
June 28, 2012 1:15 PM   Subscribe

The Star Wars that I Used to Know (SLYT)
posted by astapasta24 (127 comments total) 15 users marked this as a favorite

 
Stick around until at least 2:25 or so.
posted by muddgirl at 1:22 PM on June 28, 2012 [1 favorite]


I can't wait for the Max Rebo Band to cover this playing a single guitar together.
posted by Kabanos at 1:24 PM on June 28, 2012 [2 favorites]


You know, I'm sure it's a good parody and all, but I just can't bear to hear that song again.
posted by Curious Artificer at 1:25 PM on June 28, 2012 [13 favorites]


You know, I'm sure it's a good parody and all, but I just can't bear to hear that song again.

I find your lack of faith disturbing.
posted by Fizz at 1:25 PM on June 28, 2012 [7 favorites]


At some point, one has to stop beating on the Star Wars films. They happened. Lucas did stuff. They're gone now and this desire for people to hold onto them, becomes tired and cliched.

The past is the past, surely there's something new to geek out over.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 1:26 PM on June 28, 2012 [13 favorites]


Why Is Dad So Mad (About Star Wars)
posted by Slap*Happy at 1:26 PM on June 28, 2012 [5 favorites]


There are new things, but Prometheus sucked.
posted by flaterik at 1:27 PM on June 28, 2012 [3 favorites]


I'm disappointed that this isn't set in the Mos Eisley Cantina.
posted by jetlagaddict at 1:28 PM on June 28, 2012


Tedious as the Lucas hating is, THIS is simply great.
posted by Foci for Analysis at 1:30 PM on June 28, 2012 [1 favorite]


Brandon is right. The last movie came out 4 years ago. Get the fuck over it already.

(And while we're at it, for the love of God, get over that they cancelled Serenity, too.)
posted by crunchland at 1:30 PM on June 28, 2012 [6 favorites]


I'm so old, I didn't realize this was a song parody.
posted by ColdChef at 1:32 PM on June 28, 2012 [7 favorites]


At some point, one has to stop beating on the Star Wars films.

you know, I watched a documentary called The People vs George Lucas, and it had the amazing effect of finally ridding me of all the bile I'd built up over the franchise. It was like, "ok, so the prequels sucked, the changes to the original trilogy made it worse, the merchandising has overruled the story and the filmmaker hasn't demonstrated an ability to make a good film in a while. welp, that's out of my system." as though, seeing all these people shout what I've shouted finally established for me that the message is loud and clear and nearly universally understood. Yeah, it sucks that Lucas doesn't get it, especially because he continues to eliminate any access to the original films and may continue to do so after he's passed on. But ok, it's been said. Now he's just another filmmaker I don't like any more. I guess that's sad, but for whom? I'm ok with it, and he doesn't care, so...
posted by shmegegge at 1:33 PM on June 28, 2012 [12 favorites]


Stick around until at least 2:25 or so.

Was that supposed to be George Lucas or Roger Ebert?
posted by mazola at 1:34 PM on June 28, 2012


This is seriously way better done than any parody of the sort tends to be.
posted by DoctorFedora at 1:34 PM on June 28, 2012 [5 favorites]


The degree of bitterness is a bit cringeworthy, but that was an interesting idea very well executed.
posted by figurant at 1:34 PM on June 28, 2012 [1 favorite]


get over that they cancelled Serenity, too.

canceled what now?

#yougotnerded
posted by shmegegge at 1:34 PM on June 28, 2012 [14 favorites]


The last movie came out 4 years ago.

Actually, Episode 1 was back in theaters in 3D in February, with the rest coming out, like once per year for the next 5 years. I think as long as Lucas keeps beating that dead horse, complaints about it are completely valid and rational and fair.
posted by muddgirl at 1:36 PM on June 28, 2012 [13 favorites]


I've heard a couple of times that a good rule of thumb for the time it takes to get over a relationship is half the length of the relationship.

Assuming the relationship was over at the final "NOOOOOOOOO", there's still seven years to go before we can be expected to have healed, ok?
posted by flaterik at 1:36 PM on June 28, 2012 [1 favorite]


What kind of a name is 'Gotye'?
posted by George Lucas at 1:38 PM on June 28, 2012 [9 favorites]


(And while we're at it, for the love of God, get over that they cancelled Serenity, too.)

Serenity was a movie that was filmed, not cancelled. I think you mean Firefly. Not cool, bro.
posted by NathanBoy at 1:41 PM on June 28, 2012 [8 favorites]


Hey I just watched you
and this is crazy
but the original films on blu-ray
release them maybe?
posted by 2bucksplus at 1:46 PM on June 28, 2012 [5 favorites]


At some point, one has to stop beating on the Star Wars films. They happened. Lucas did stuff. They're gone now and this desire for people to hold onto them, becomes tired and cliched.

They're gone? When did this happen?
posted by The World Famous at 1:49 PM on June 28, 2012


Let it go, nerds. Just. Let. It. GO.
posted by Thorzdad at 1:49 PM on June 28, 2012 [3 favorites]


The last movie came out 4 years ago.
Huh? The last film came out 29 years ago?

/oblig
posted by Jehan at 1:50 PM on June 28, 2012 [13 favorites]


Thirding Brandon Blatcher and crunchland. Actually, even if Lucas hadn't wrecked the series, it would be about time to stop obsessing over them this much. Star Wars is 35 years old now. It's time to let it quietly sink into the pass and free up all that pop cultural mindspace for new ultranerdy obsessions. (like that new Pony thing that's all the rage these days)

People don't even seem to be going on so much about Star Trek anymore.
posted by JHarris at 1:50 PM on June 28, 2012 [1 favorite]


What kind of a name is 'Gotye'?

It's gibberish for "Sting"
posted by The World Famous at 1:50 PM on June 28, 2012 [22 favorites]


(And while we're at it, for the love of God, get over that they cancelled Serenity, too.)

A+++ would be trolled again.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 1:52 PM on June 28, 2012


What kind of a name is 'Gotye'?

It's pronounced like Gauthier. From Wikipedia:

Wouter "Wally" De Backer (born 21 May 1980, also known professionally by his stage name Gotye (pronounced /ˈɡɒti.eɪ/), is a Belgian-Australian[1] multi-instrumental musician and singer-songwriter. The name "Gotye" is derived from "Gauthier", the French equivalent of "Walter" or "Wouter".

As to why he "derived" a name from Gauthier in the first place, I have no idea.
posted by Pruitt-Igoe at 1:52 PM on June 28, 2012


Maybe it's like how Matt Haughey became mathowie. Ha.
posted by Pruitt-Igoe at 1:54 PM on June 28, 2012


People don't even seem to be going on so much about Star Trek anymore.

Star Trek is still a very popular topic at, say, Metafilter. Also, the re-mastering of TOS was unimpeachable.
posted by muddgirl at 1:56 PM on June 28, 2012


It's pronounced like Gauthier

As an American, I still don't have the foggiest idea how to pronounce this name.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 1:56 PM on June 28, 2012


Also, the re-mastering of TOS was unimpeachable.

They completely wasted that opportunity, if you ask me.
posted by George Lucas at 1:58 PM on June 28, 2012 [14 favorites]


"go-tea-yay." or, if you say it really fast, it's more like "goat-yay"
posted by ultraviolet catastrophe at 1:59 PM on June 28, 2012 [1 favorite]


Our lawyers have informed us that we need to put a warning page here. So if you are under 18 or don't wish to view explicit content then please navigate away from this page.
posted by Pruitt-Igoe at 2:01 PM on June 28, 2012 [5 favorites]


Pruitt-Igoe: "Our lawyers have informed us that we need to put a warning page here. So if you are under 18 or don't wish to view explicit content then please navigate away from this page."

There is no way you're going to get me to click that.
posted by schmod at 2:04 PM on June 28, 2012 [2 favorites]


Star Wars is 35 years old now. It's time to let it quietly sink into the pass and free up all that pop cultural mindspace for new ultranerdy obsessions

I think what we are learning is that there is limitless mindspace for utlranerdy obsessions. We can obsess about Star Wars, Star Trek (all of its incarnations), Game of Thrones, Alien & Prometheus, Firefly, MLP, Lord of the Rings, and so on. All of it. Forever. At the same time.

cue ETEWAF
posted by never used baby shoes at 2:06 PM on June 28, 2012


Actually, even if Lucas hadn't wrecked the series, it would be about time to stop obsessing over them this much. Star Wars is 35 years old now.

To be clear, I think it's fine to discuss old films and/or rematch them for the various hidden meanings, shots or details. I saw Casblanca on the big screen for the first time last week and it was great to see some of the details lost when watching on a smaller screen, plus the discussion afterwards was enlightening.

What bugs about this video and others like it is that it's expressing anger over Lucas's changes and repeating the idea that their childhood or modern selves have somehow been cheated. I understand the reasoning and emotions behind that thought process, sure. But in this golden age of being able to see so many movies and tv shows in your living room, the obsessing over what Star Wars is and how it and/or its creator has personally failed you is cringe inducing.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 2:11 PM on June 28, 2012 [2 favorites]


As to why he "derived" a name from Gauthier in the first place, I have no idea.

wikipedia says: "a pet name used by his mother (who gave French classes) when he was a child"
posted by Mars Saxman at 2:16 PM on June 28, 2012


I don't think fans would mention it as often if Lucas didn't re-release a new version every time his pocketbook gets a little bit light.
posted by muddgirl at 2:17 PM on June 28, 2012 [2 favorites]


Nothing too bad, schmod. A take on goatse. No private sexaul parts are involved.
posted by annsunny at 2:21 PM on June 28, 2012


Does youtube pay people for subscribers or something? Why does everyone spend so much time begging for subscribers?
posted by tylerkaraszewski at 2:26 PM on June 28, 2012


Bulgaroktonos: "As an American, I still don't have the foggiest idea how to pronounce this name."

"Game of the Year Edition."
posted by radwolf76 at 2:35 PM on June 28, 2012 [6 favorites]


annsunny: "Nothing too bad, schmod. A take on goatse."

These two sentences. They contradict.
posted by schmod at 2:35 PM on June 28, 2012 [2 favorites]


At some point, one has to stop beating on the Star Wars films.

As long as Lucas reliably releases a new edition Blu-Ray or animated spin-off series like clockwork every two years, I think it's reasonable to expect that haters are gonna hate.

Star Wars is far from dead. It's a living, breathing, perpetual motion machine of merchandising.
posted by KokuRyu at 2:36 PM on June 28, 2012 [1 favorite]


I agree that the Star Wars hate has gotten too much, and I actually sort of liked episodes one through three.

But this was a world-class parody song. At 2:30 it reached Weird Al quality, and I don't say that often.
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 2:44 PM on June 28, 2012 [4 favorites]


The one demerit I give is that they might have been able to do a little more with the body painting and background.
posted by muddgirl at 2:46 PM on June 28, 2012


Today, on my way to work, I noticed a shop in Bellevue Road, Wandsworth. It purported to be a gift shop for men. That is, a shop stocking gifts deemed suitable for men, not boys. Amongst the gifts in the window were a set of small prints featuring Star Wars characters. Yoda was there. C3PO and R2D2. I believe Chewbacca, also. And I pondered what a pass it had come to that these childish things were now deemed suitable as gifts for men, not boys. And then I pondered further, about how many threads and posts and websites and T-shirts I'd seen which excitedly celebrated and enthused over these deeply childish things, things that any man - not boy - ought really to have put away many, many years ago.

Even here, on oh-so-smart-and-not-at-all-similar-to-the-immature-likes-of-reddit Metafilter. Grown men, not boys, THINK THIS GODDAMNED KIDDY SHITE IS INTERESTING.

I'm sorry. I am not right for these times. My soul is all wrong. All wrong. It is meet and just that I should live alone and be scorned and reviled by the modern man. And boy. And woman. Whisky. Ah, whisky... come to me and warm my near-dead heart with your soothing auriferous fire. Now there's a man's business.
posted by Decani at 2:48 PM on June 28, 2012 [7 favorites]


you are the best troll.
posted by shmegegge at 2:51 PM on June 28, 2012 [8 favorites]


I am forever grateful for Larry Hama, Hasbro and Marvel Comics being there to bring me the GI Joe comic (not the cartoon) right when my 9-year-old heart was broken by the end of the first trilogy (because, y'know, it ended. With teddy bears and plainly ridiculous moral dilemmas that even an elementary school kid could spot). In hindsight, it was a lot like realizing your first crush/relationship was actually pretty ridiculous, and the new one was both more mature and full of more silly fun.

So much so that when Star Wars came back to me roughly twenty years later sporting a bunch more jewelry, I wasn't foolish enough to fall for her bullshit again.
posted by scaryblackdeath at 2:52 PM on June 28, 2012 [1 favorite]


but what if my single malt scotch is in an Alliance flask is that okay?
posted by jetlagaddict at 2:53 PM on June 28, 2012 [2 favorites]


My first introduction to Gotye was via a typo-laden facebook status, so I spent most of the past few months thinking his name was Goyte, or, less affectionately, Goiter. And ugh, I hate him and his nipple-filled video and his earworm of a horrible song.
posted by ChuraChura at 2:53 PM on June 28, 2012


Trousersaber
posted by Burhanistan at 2:55 PM on June 28, 2012


You can't let kids watch Star Wars!! There's incestuous kissing! They will get naughty ideas!
posted by muddgirl at 2:57 PM on June 28, 2012 [1 favorite]


Googling "Star Wars despecialized" gives interesting and fruitful results. Go, Harmy! Previously in the Blue.
posted by dylanjames at 2:58 PM on June 28, 2012 [1 favorite]


Even here, on oh-so-smart-and-not-at-all-similar-to-the-immature-likes-of-reddit Metafilter. Grown men, not boys, THINK THIS GODDAMNED KIDDY SHITE IS INTERESTING.

My bronies. Let me show you them.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 3:00 PM on June 28, 2012


I'm just glad that we've progressed enough as a species that it's now socially acceptable to tell people that you think Star Wars is a big waste of time. There were more unenlightened times when this would mean ostracization.
posted by Burhanistan at 3:02 PM on June 28, 2012 [1 favorite]


I'm just glad that we've progressed enough as a species that it's now socially acceptable to tell people that you think Star Wars is a big waste of time. There were more unenlightened times when this would mean ostracization.

When were these times? I ask because I was in elementary school when the first two films came out, and I distinctly remember being ostracized and told that Star Wars was a big waste of time.
posted by The World Famous at 3:04 PM on June 28, 2012 [1 favorite]


I'm sorry. I am not right for these times. My soul is all wrong. All wrong. It is meet and just that I should live alone and be scorned and reviled by the modern man. And boy. And woman. Whisky. Ah, whisky... come to me and warm my near-dead heart with your soothing auriferous fire. Now there's a man's business.

Man, I can't even hate this comment. It's just a perfect parody.

Wait, it was a parody, right?
posted by kmz at 3:09 PM on June 28, 2012


I was in elementary school when the first two films came out, and I distinctly remember being ostracized and told that Star Wars was a big waste of time.

Where'd you go to school? Roddenberry Jr. High?
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 3:09 PM on June 28, 2012


Where'd you go to school? Roddenberry Jr. High?

I did not go to Jr. High when I was in elementary school. Duh.
posted by The World Famous at 3:15 PM on June 28, 2012 [3 favorites]


I don't think Star Wars is a waste of time. I just question the necessity of obsessing about the ins and outs of plotline of a movie franchise years after it was released. It's possible to just say "yeah, I didn't like the last three movies so much," and leave it at that. We did it for the Matrix sequels.

I don't think fans would mention it as often if Lucas didn't re-release a new version every time his pocketbook gets a little bit light. -- I get the "rubbing salt in the wound" aspect, but the key is, don't buy the stuff. Just turn your back and be done with it.

I think you mean Firefly. Not cool, bro. -- My mistake. I hope you can learn to forgive and forget, but if you're a Firefly fan, I suspect not.
posted by crunchland at 3:15 PM on June 28, 2012


I thought that was amazingly well done. I was a little disappointed in Lucas's lyrics — I wasn't sure who that was going to be and when I saw the actor, then I was really interested but the lyrics were kind of meh for me.
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 3:18 PM on June 28, 2012


I did not go to Jr. High when I was in elementary school. Duh.

They aren't considered elementary? We had middle schools, which are.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 3:19 PM on June 28, 2012


What bugs about this video and others like it is that it's expressing anger over Lucas's changes and repeating the idea that their childhood or modern selves have somehow been cheated.

I dunno, I think when someone gets as far as doing a point-for-point remake of a stop-motion music video and bothers to cast a humorously poor George Lucas impersonator in it, they're more probably knowingly riffing on the cultural trope of that anger than actually manifesting it. When you're complaining about material that is by all appearances mocking the kind of material you claim to be complaining about, that seems like a situation where the getting-over-it bit moves into heal-thyself territory.

Whisky. Ah, whisky... come to me and warm my near-dead heart with your soothing auriferous fire. Now there's a man's business.

You should try enjoying pop culture metanarratives and whiskey some time. It's like twice as fun!
posted by cortex at 3:19 PM on June 28, 2012


Just turn your back and be done with it.

So basically we shouldn't have any desire to watch the original trilogy in a decent quality on our high def tvs (without resorting to bootlegged versions). Or if we have that desire we should manfully suppress it because people on the internet will think we're a bunch of juvenile whiners and we might lose our nonexistent man-cards?
posted by muddgirl at 3:20 PM on June 28, 2012 [5 favorites]


Decani: " And then I pondered further, about how many threads and posts and websites and T-shirts I'd seen which excitedly celebrated and enthused over these deeply childish things, things that any man - not boy - ought really to have put away many, many years ago.

Even here, on oh-so-smart-and-not-at-all-similar-to-the-immature-likes-of-reddit Metafilter. Grown men, not boys, THINK THIS GODDAMNED KIDDY SHITE IS INTERESTING.
"
Critics who treat adult as a term of approval, instead of as a merely descriptive term, cannot be adult themselves. To be concerned about being grown up, to admire the grown up because it is grown up, to blush at the suspicion of being childish; these things are the marks of childhood and adolescence. And in childhood and adolescence they are, in moderation, healthy symptoms. Young things ought to want to grow. But to carry on into middle life or even into early manhood this concern about being adult is a mark of really arrested development. When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.

-- C. S. Lewis
posted by radwolf76 at 3:22 PM on June 28, 2012 [39 favorites]


So basically we shouldn't have any desire to watch the original trilogy in a decent quality on our high def tvs (without resorting to bootlegged versions). -- If it bothers you that you're rewarding Lucas' greed, then absolutely, yes.
posted by crunchland at 3:25 PM on June 28, 2012


Even here, on oh-so-smart-and-not-at-all-similar-to-the-immature-likes-of-reddit Metafilter. Grown men, not boys, THINK THIS GODDAMNED KIDDY SHITE IS INTERESTING."

It's not just Star Wars. We also like punk rock a lot.
posted by The World Famous at 3:29 PM on June 28, 2012


I'm sorry. I am not right for these times. My soul is all wrong. All wrong. It is meet and just that I should live alone and be scorned and reviled by the modern man.

I've just about had enough of you. Go that way. You'll be malfunctioning within a day, you near-sighted scrap pile. And don't let me catch you following me begging for help because you won't get it.
posted by Celsius1414 at 3:32 PM on June 28, 2012 [4 favorites]


I don't mind rewarding Lucas's greed if it gets me something that I want to watch. The problem is when supply doesn't match demand (which is why I actually don't have a problem filesharing stuff that is out of print).

I think it's fine to discuss old films and/or rematch them for the various hidden meanings, shots or details.

The problem is that fans will, essentially, never get to do this with the original Star Wars movies, without resorting to illegal methods. We'll never get to watch the original movies on the big screen again, the way you did with Casablanca. I do think that's an injustice worth talking about.
posted by muddgirl at 3:37 PM on June 28, 2012 [1 favorite]


OK maybe not never. At some point someone will be in charge of Lucasarts who recognizes that there's an untapped market out here.
posted by muddgirl at 3:38 PM on June 28, 2012


Decani: "Today, on my way to work, I noticed a shop in Bellevue Road, Wandsworth. It purported to be a gift shop for men. That is, a shop stocking gifts deemed suitable for men, not boys. Amongst the gifts in the window were a set of small prints featuring Star Wars characters. Yoda was there. C3PO and R2D2. I believe Chewbacca, also. And I pondered what a pass it had come to that these childish things were now deemed suitable as gifts for men, not boys. And then I pondered further, about how many threads and posts and websites and T-shirts I'd seen which excitedly celebrated and enthused over these deeply childish things, things that any man - not boy - ought really to have put away many, many years ago.

Even here, on oh-so-smart-and-not-at-all-similar-to-the-immature-likes-of-reddit Metafilter. Grown men, not boys, THINK THIS GODDAMNED KIDDY SHITE IS INTERESTING.

I'm sorry. I am not right for these times. My soul is all wrong. All wrong. It is meet and just that I should live alone and be scorned and reviled by the modern man. And boy. And woman. Whisky. Ah, whisky... come to me and warm my near-dead heart with your soothing auriferous fire. Now there's a man's business.
"

"Critics who treat adult as a term of approval, instead of as a merely descriptive term, cannot be adult themselves. To be concerned about being grown up, to admire the grown up because it is grown up, to blush at the suspicion of being childish; these things are the marks of childhood and adolescence. And in childhood and adolescence they are, in moderation, healthy symptoms. Young things ought to want to grow. But to carry on into middle life or even into early manhood this concern about being adult is a mark of really arrested development. When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."

--C.S. Lewis
posted by ShawnStruck at 3:48 PM on June 28, 2012 [8 favorites]


C.S. Lewis was quoted twice! To an atheist...
posted by Burhanistan at 3:58 PM on June 28, 2012 [1 favorite]


What I don't understand is how George Lucas gets away with explaining his movies (featuring Galactic Senates and Chancellors) are aimed at kids.
posted by KokuRyu at 4:02 PM on June 28, 2012


The name "Gotye" is derived from "Gauthier"

And I thought it was derived from "gotcha".
posted by Mister Moofoo at 4:06 PM on June 28, 2012


I feel like the most forgiving SF geek in the history of geekdom, but dammit, here goes anyway: the Star Wars prequels were not that bad. NO NO WAIT BEAR WITH ME.

I love Star Wars - have loved it obsessively since I saw the first film, loved it enough that I was prepared to read both Splinter of the Mind's Eye and The Courtship of Princess Leia just to get more Star Wars in years gone by - and while not going to pretend the prequels were a great piece of filmmaking or anything, I can't work up any serious hate for them. Sure, they're not as good as the original trilogy. They have Jar-Jar. They have midichlorians. They have CGI Yoda, which is just plain wrong. And they're lacking a lot of that spirit the original films have. But partly, they're lacking it because we were kids then, and nothing's ever going to be as good as it was when we were nine.

So the romantic dialogue between Padme and Anakin is corny and awful? Yes, but it was corny and awful between Han and Leia too. So the characters do idiotic stuff for the sake of a hastily cobbled-together plot? Well, that's not exactly new either ("Hey, which one of these Force-sensitive Skywalker twins should we train into spearheading our rebellion? The competent diplomat who's already done a lot of work for the existing rebellion, or the bratty one whose biggest accomplishment is bullseyeing womp rats? Tough choice!") And Anakin is whiny? You remember Luke, yes? We saw all this already, but we didn't care because it was Star Wars and it was magic and we loved it. As is right and proper.

I still love Star Wars beyond measure, and I'm never going to love the prequels in the same way. And they are pretty horrifically flawed. They are. But still, it feels unfair to blame them for wheeling out those flaws twenty years too late for me to forgive - and if I could forgive The Courtship of Princess Leia, I'm pretty sure I could once have forgiven anything.
posted by Catseye at 4:12 PM on June 28, 2012 [1 favorite]


So the romantic dialogue between Padme and Anakin is corny and awful? Yes, but it was corny and awful between Han and Leia too.

Are you really suggesting that:

"I love you."

"I know."


is equivalent to:

"I don't like sand."

?????
posted by The World Famous at 4:35 PM on June 28, 2012 [10 favorites]


There are new things, but Prometheus sucked.

Prometheus is also survival-horror, like almost all many recent scifi movies.

One of the reasons I keep holding on to the original Star Wars trilogy is that they're fun. There are space ships! Ice planets! Desert worlds! Giant aliens who could totally rip your arms out of your sockets but won't because they like you and they're too busy navigating through unrealistic asteroid fields!

You just don't see that in movies anymore. The PG-13/R threshold rating is just too profitable.
posted by RonButNotStupid at 4:36 PM on June 28, 2012 [1 favorite]


I see your one decent romance line in the entire original trilogy, and raise you every other romantic line they had. Including all the ones Harrison Ford begged Lucas not to make him say on grounds of overwhelming awfulness, and Carrie Fisher's lines in that scene where you can clearly see Harrison Ford mouthing them to her.
posted by Catseye at 4:47 PM on June 28, 2012


OK, let's have an actual line-by-line example of original trilogy romantic lines compared to prequel romantic lines.
posted by The World Famous at 4:53 PM on June 28, 2012 [1 favorite]


The reason so many people of a certain age love Star Wars is that when the original came out in 1977, it blew us the fuck away because nobody had ever seen anything like it before. If you spent your teenage years watching Stargate: SG1 you cannot possibly imagine how awesome it was to see those spaceships whizzing by with operatic space music in the background. We were thrilled to have the original (now considered sucky) Battlestar Galactica to give us a fix for that kind of thing.

And even though the art has progressed, there is a place in our hearts for that original experience, the Star Wars that didn't call itself Episode IV or A New Hope and where Han shot first and there were no CGI effects, because that was our memory and that was what we fell in love with, imperfect as it might have been. Sure, enhance it if you want -- hey, Sting remade Don't Stand So Close To Me -- but don't pretend that the "new improved" version is the only version. It's not true and we know better. That is an arrogance beyond artistic defence. Make a new version if you want but don't pretend the old one never existed, as if you can retcon the technology and skills that didn't exist back then.

If there is a Hell, for George Lucas it will be a place where the only work of his that anybody can remember is The Star Wars Christmas Special. And he will richly deserve to spend eternity there.
posted by localroger at 5:25 PM on June 28, 2012 [4 favorites]


I don't know what radio presets my wife has in her car, but I hear Gotye literally--and I mean that--every time I ride in it. Today I borrowed it and when I pulled back in the driveway, I thought, ha! I've gotten one over on the universe, I haven't heard Gotye. But then I realized that I'd forgotten something and went back out. It was a mistake. The universe won again.
posted by uncleozzy at 5:42 PM on June 28, 2012 [1 favorite]


Also, the re-mastering of TOS was unimpeachable.

Gonna go ahead and disagree on that point.
posted by ShutterBun at 6:14 PM on June 28, 2012 [1 favorite]


Geez, it's not like Lucas was deliberately trying to ruin your childhood.
posted by WhackyparseThis at 6:32 PM on June 28, 2012


When you're complaining about material that is by all appearances mocking the kind of material you claim to be complaining about, that seems like a situation where the getting-over-it bit moves into heal-thyself territory.

Time and money spent still engaged in the negative side of Star Wars fannish behavior vs a 2 minutes comment on a website and I should heal myself? We’ll just have to agree to disagree and that you’re a Ferengi. Or a Tribble. Possibly a mixture of both.

We’ll never get to watch the original movies on the big screen again, the way you did with Casablanca. I do think that's an injustice worth talking about.

Good point, I’d agree. If an original print (or even even cleaned with a bit of color adjust) of Star Wars, ESB or even RotJ could be shown in theaters, I’d definitely be in line. Those movies were great fun.

Again, it’s fine to enjoy whatever you want to enjoy, be it soap operas, reality tv or the Star Wars franchise. But if you stop enjoying, then let it go and move on to something you do enjoy.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:34 PM on June 28, 2012


Stick around until at least 2:25 or so.

...So you can see the shoulder-shimmy at 2:45. Cute.
posted by TropicalWalrus at 7:21 PM on June 28, 2012


But you didn't have to steal her back
Make it like it never happened and that we were nothing
I don't even need her love, but you treat me like a penguin
And that feels so rough

No, you didn't have to stoop so low
Take your dog on those adventures
How does he get bigger?
Guess that I don't need her though
Now she's just some princess that I used to know

posted by erniepan at 7:28 PM on June 28, 2012


(In case anyone else was wondering, the whole body paint thing is something out of the original Gotye video.)
posted by crunchland at 8:44 PM on June 28, 2012


Time and money spent still engaged in the negative side of Star Wars fannish behavior

There's scads of time and money spent on full-blown stage productions of and reflecting on and subverting and criticizing long-dead authors and playwrights and philosophers, too. Star Wars and Lucas' involvement in it is part of the cultural substrate, like tons of other things. People will continue to comment on it. To the extent that some of that commentary is driveby whining, by all means, criticize it as such, but lumping a well-made and objectively silly parody video in with that makes about as much sense as telling Kenneth Branagh to give it a rest with the Bard already.

Driveby whining about driveby whining is just more driveby whining.
posted by cortex at 9:25 PM on June 28, 2012 [3 favorites]


you’re a Ferengi. Or a Tribble. Possibly a mixture of both.
posted by zippy at 9:57 PM on June 28, 2012 [1 favorite]


I used to like Gotye, before he got big. At least the two songs I heard, the first of which was this one. It was so different to anything I'd heard in a long time. And it was played on talk radio really late at night.

So, I have never actually heard the original of this song, although apparently it's been overplayed to heck'n'back.

It's clever, as Star Wars hate goes. And hits all the main points. And for that my three-odd-minutes did not feel wasted.

But Star Wars: The Clone Wars is my Star Wars now.

And I will never get over the axing of Firefly or Farscape. But at least I have my DVDs.
posted by Mezentian at 11:37 PM on June 28, 2012


Good concept, well produced, but the lyrics really needed work.
posted by the_artificer at 11:55 PM on June 28, 2012 [1 favorite]


I think that people who are saying get over it and talking about production values are missing the point.

I think Lucas has missed the point as well and that is why all the angst.

In the original SW trilogy he actually laid some basic framework for a viable religion. It makes more sense to many people than mainstream religions and it can exist in not just a modern world, but a future one. I attribute this mostly to Joseph Campbell's influence in the original film.

It was not the sci-fi, it was not the production, it was the myth that caught us up. The only film in recent memory that has done anything similar would be the Matrix.

The crazy thing is despite the ham handed treatment the series has received in recent times, the myth still captures our imagination. Which can be seen in the modern census.
posted by psycho-alchemy at 12:09 AM on June 29, 2012 [1 favorite]


I'm just going to go ahead and admit this: I am thirty years old and watching Star Wars for the first time. (I did go to the midnight showing of Episode I with friend but slept through most of it.) When I was younger I was too obsessed with X-Files to care about anything else and then I discovered Star Trek. By the time I thought "Hey, I should watch those" I felt like I already had seen them. Between Han shooting first, "It's a trap!" and thousands of Slave Leia costumes I figured actually watching them would be redundant.

Last Thursday my friends showed me A New Hope. We are watching the despecialized version mentioned above. I can't believe how drawn into the story I've become. It wasn't until twenty minutes after we finished that I realized the discussions about Luke's father were actually about Darth Vader. We watched The Empire Strikes Back last night. I gasped when Lando led them to the room with Vader. I was not expecting to become invested and I certainly wasn't expecting to be surprised. While I'm sad I missed out on seeing these as a child, I'm glad I'm seeing them post-Lucas rage. I'm enjoying them for what they are. I have no high expectations for any future Star Wars projects and I will never feel like a part of my childhood was ruined.

Three random things

1. R2-D2 really creeps me out.

2. I didn't realize Obi-Wan had died. I thought he had teleported away from harm and kept waiting for him to come back.

3. We are watching Return of the Jedi next Thursday and then I can decide if we watch the prequels or not. I haven't made up my mind yet.
posted by MaritaCov at 2:39 AM on June 29, 2012 [5 favorites]


3. We are watching Return of the Jedi next Thursday and then I can decide if we watch the prequels or not. I haven't made up my mind yet.

You can get away with just watching Episode 3, which is the least bad of the prequels (actually I really enjoyed it), and, I think, gives you a good "this is what lead up to Episode 4" experience without the stupid stuff in Episodes 1 & 2 (little kid, midiclorians, terribly scripted/acted romance, Jarjar).
posted by EndsOfInvention at 3:55 AM on June 29, 2012


It's possible to just say "yeah, I didn't like the last three movies so much," and leave it at that. We did it for the Matrix sequels.

What Matrix sequels...
posted by Pendragon at 4:22 AM on June 29, 2012


2. I didn't realize Obi-Wan had died. I thought he had teleported away from harm and kept waiting for him to come back.

When I first saw Return of the Jedi, I was convinced that the second Death Star was actually the blown-out remains of the first one, and that the Empire was repairing it in secret. The idea that the Empire would just build a second one completely escaped me, and I just assumed that the Rebel Alliance was there to finish the job they had started. Lando's surprise that the Death Star was operational and only served to bolster this misconception.
posted by RonButNotStupid at 5:03 AM on June 29, 2012


I would LOVE to watch the Despecialized Editions, especially given my disappointment that the DVD copy I bought years ago was effing LETTERBOXED. Thanks George, you prick. But my Blu-Ray player refuses to recognize the AVCHD disks even though it says on the box it will play them, and my home DLNA setup won't play the 2 gig transcoded version (streaming starts but I get only a black screen) even though it works fine on my computer and iOS devices.

But I am determined that my son will not start out by watching the adulterated versions. Original unedited or nothing. He has seen Star Wars and liked it; he calls it the "robot movie" and likes his Lego Star Wars underwear because the "bad robot" (Vader) is on it. Now the only real trick is to try and keep him blissfully unaware of the sequels until he is old enough to actually get the importance of Vader's revelation in Empire, because I am so looking forward to seeing his reaction to that scene...
posted by caution live frogs at 5:29 AM on June 29, 2012


"I would LOVE to watch the Despecialized Editions, especially given my disappointment that the DVD copy I bought years ago was effing LETTERBOXED."

Eh, you would have preferred pan-and-scan?? I don't understand.
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 5:32 AM on June 29, 2012


Or you mean you wanted widescreen 720x480 and not the film's aspect ratio hard-letterboxed into standard TV resolution? I get ya. I forget how quickly things have changed, or I'm old, or both. Wasn't it only until about 1998, or so, that an actual widescreen format was introduced?
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 5:37 AM on June 29, 2012


Jar Jar was an all time low

I thought that line was pretty good. Also, I think the guy has a pretty good voice. Other than that, I have no real anger about this or the subject matter one way or another.

Firefly, on the other hand, I'm still mighty pissed about...I want to be over it...I really do...[sob]
posted by Thistledown at 5:40 AM on June 29, 2012


To the extent that some of that commentary is driveby whining, by all means, criticize it as such, but lumping a well-made and objectively silly parody video in with that makes about as much sense as telling Kenneth Branagh to give it a rest with the Bard already.

Not really, in the sense that the silly parody is still playing into the navel gazing of Lucas and what he's done. The changes were made and then more changes and it's silly to go on about it about it not being fair or that a childhood memory has been ruined. Everything passes and you can't change the past so why continously fret about it?

That applies to any series or movie (or anything really). Firefly was great and I would have loved to have seen at least another season of it. But it ended and well, that's that. It's better that we're left wanting more, rather than regretting that the series went on a season or three too long.

Driveby whining about driveby whining is just more driveby whining.

Ha! Commenter, heal thyself.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:06 AM on June 29, 2012


"Firefly, on the other hand, I'm still mighty pissed about...I want to be over it...I really do...[sob]

Weirdly, I'm as much a fan of Whedon as anyone and yet I never got invested in Firefly the way so many others have. I was slightly disappointed in the film.

I feel very strongly about BtVS and Angel, though. But BtVS went downhill and Angel got more seasons that we had any right to expect, so it's not the same. I'm a little freaked about the new movie version of BtVS; but then, well, come to think of it, I don't mind that much for the same reason I don't mind the "rebooted" Star Trek.

Which is to say, Abrams's Star Trek is a reinvention of it and I'm okay with that, in general. It's a good thing because I want ST to truly live on, entrenched in popular culture the way that, say, a few comic book heroes are. Reinterpretations keep it alive and interesting, even when individual versions of it suck. I really would like BtVS to become something like that.

So I'm more critical of later Berman/Braga ST (not TNG as much) because that exists in the same context as what we're discussing here — Lucas's later SW efforts. It's the same creative vision from the same creator, going off-the-rails.

That said, while I, like some others here, was a child at the prime age (12) when Star Wars first appeared (and I was a nerd fanboy in a way that was extremely rare then — I subscribed to Starlog and there and somehow elsewhere followed the production gossip about SW in the year or so before it premiered) and it was a Big Deal, it never meant to me as much as it did to a lot of people. (And most of my classmates/friends were far more excited about and invested in Rocky than Star Wars...which annoyed me at the time. Actually, it still does.)

Partly, I think, because I was too old when the first came out and so the final film, for example, came out exactly one year after I'd graduated from high school. They didn't perfectly neatly span my childhood the way they did for those about six years younger. And I was a trekkie, too. And I read a lot of science-fiction and while I loved the spectacle (I mean, really — I read all about Trumble and even went to his special-built theater in Dallas that demonstrated his 70mm, high-fidelity audio format) I also wasn't that happy that this was very far from standard science-fiction and was silly in numerous respects. So I was invested in the films and was a fanboy (for that time and place) but they weren't the single most significant formative bit of popular culture of my childhood, like I think is true for many people.

In that context, I was very disappointed by the prequels, but I didn't feel a sense of betrayal. Just a kind of disgusted disappointment. But that doesn't mean that I don't understand or have any need to invalidate the feelings of those who feel betrayed in a sense. It seems ungenerous and more than a little blinkered about human nature to not understand why people feel this way and that there's almost certainly something that each of us could, or do, feel similarly about with regard to our childhoods and all related. That's how people are, man. It's okay.
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 6:13 AM on June 29, 2012


Not really, in the sense that the silly parody is still playing into the navel gazing of Lucas and what he's done.

And? There's a distinction between reflexively obsessing about something because you're stuck in some sort of arrested tarpit of anger about it and commenting critically and knowingly on that previous phenomenon.

That's the entirety of my point: unless you believe there's no difference between (a) commentary on a cultural artifact or narrative and (b) just artlessly rehashing angry beefs for the nth time, it makes little sense to treat the former like the latter, and doing so (by e.g. wandering into a thread about what is obviously a silly and carefully constructed parody and characterizing it as "What bugs about this video and others like it is that it's expressing anger") comes off as its own kind of reflexive beefing that is more about your desire to complain about some other Star Wars stuff you dislike than it is about you actually engaging the content linked in this instance.

Again, people will keep commenting on stuff that's part of the cultural consciousness over the long haul; that's a normal part of cultural commentary, and there's things far older than Star Wars about which that happens every day. And I am right there with you as far as lazy same-old-complaint beefing about any given thing getting tiresome, especially if you're overexposed to it. But if you don't make the effort to discriminate between the actually lazy/angry stuff and someone doing some actual creative production work, you make yourself into a lazy beefer at the meta level. Which is fine if you want to be that guy, but someone is probably going to call you on being that guy.

Ha! Commenter, heal thyself.

Nonsense, my tedious, over-serious whining about your complaint is meticulously constructed. I got ninety-nine problems but a failure to critically engage with the substance and context of your knee-jerk categorization and dismissal of this bit of Star Wars-related parodic commentary ain't one.
posted by cortex at 8:00 AM on June 29, 2012 [2 favorites]


Nonsense, my tedious, over-serious whining about your complaint is meticulously constructed. >I got ninety-nine problems but a failure to critically engage with the substance and context of your knee-jerk categorization and dismissal of this bit of Star Wars-related parodic commentary ain't one.

Eh, you're looking at it through a small, meticulously constructed thermal exhaust port, where the quality of the subject matter is more important than the subject matter (at least in this specific instance). I'll cheerfully agree that the subject matter (aka the video itself) was high in production values, but that doesn't make the subject matter itself interesting or above criticism.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 9:34 AM on June 29, 2012


The Star Wars prequels served one important purpose -- they introduced me to the work of Mike Stoklasa and Jay Bauman. So it's all worth it. No Jar-Jar, no Plinkett. It's the nature of the universe being all connected and sh*t.
posted by ELF Radio at 9:43 AM on June 29, 2012 [1 favorite]


We are watching Return of the Jedi next Thursday and then I can decide if we watch the prequels or not.

I would consider watching the "updated" version of Jedi because you get a much better closing sequence that way. The original featured a truly and profoundly dumb song for the Ewoks, and trust me, you can live a complete life without hearing the song "Yub Yub."
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:55 AM on June 29, 2012 [1 favorite]


(And before everyone comes into correct me: Okay, sorry, the song is called "Yub Nub." You still don't need to hear it.)
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:58 AM on June 29, 2012


you're looking at it through a small, meticulously constructed thermal exhaust port

Yes, we're probably both just beating a dead womp rat at this point.
posted by cortex at 10:18 AM on June 29, 2012


Yeah, you know, I take back what I said. If the way Lucas is handling his legacy with Star Wars still bothers you, far be it from me to tell you to get over it. And my comments about Firefly are equally non-sympathetic. I care about the stuff I care about, and I'd resent it if some schmo on the internet told me otherwise.
posted by crunchland at 10:25 AM on June 29, 2012 [2 favorites]


Jedi came out pre-ruined, what with cute marketable Ewoks replacing Chewbacca's people. I mean, EWOK is even WOOKIE backwards. It's like he had stopped trying already.
posted by localroger at 11:27 AM on June 29, 2012 [1 favorite]


Bulgaroktonos: It's pronounced like Gauthier

As an American, I still don't have the foggiest idea how to pronounce this name.
As an American, I wish you traveled more - it's a not-uncommon American name.
posted by IAmBroom at 11:28 AM on June 29, 2012


Also, Gotye is wonderful. (PNSFW video "Someone That I Used to Know")
posted by IAmBroom at 11:32 AM on June 29, 2012


I miss Yub Nub and was sad it was removed. It still makes me happy when I hear it.
posted by flaterik at 12:28 PM on June 29, 2012 [3 favorites]


If we're getting up in eachother's small thermal exhaust ports, or something, Wookie backwards would probably be pronounced "Ekoo."
posted by ChuraChura at 12:36 PM on June 29, 2012


About 8-10 years too late...

I didn't recognize the parody either. (I realize the Goyte song was #1 in the US.)

Somebody that I Used to Know (Live in Paris)
posted by mrgrimm at 12:44 PM on June 29, 2012


I mean, EWOK is even WOOKIE backwards. It's like he had stopped trying already.

The Ewoks were going to cook and then eat the heroes. I wish that had been explored further.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:52 PM on June 29, 2012


We don't KNOW they were going to eat them. It might've been a ritual sacrifice!
posted by flaterik at 1:00 PM on June 29, 2012


I miss Yub Nub and was sad it was removed. It still makes me happy when I hear it.

We mocked it when it appeared. We treasured it when it disappeared.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 1:02 PM on June 29, 2012 [1 favorite]


I have friends that do the Imperial trooper costume thing, I've always wanted to get some of them together and film a and film a hunted by Ewoks horror/spoof. The last sound you hear is "Yub Nub." One of these days.
posted by the_artificer at 1:20 PM on June 29, 2012


I have friends that do the Imperial trooper costume thing, I've always wanted to get some of them together and film a and film a hunted by Ewoks horror/spoof.

Yes please, but with the violence and ethics of A Song of Ice and Fire.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 1:41 PM on June 29, 2012


So, start with one having sex with a Scout Trooper, and then pushing an Ewok out the window.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 2:22 PM on June 29, 2012


I would consider watching the "updated" version of Jedi because you get a much better closing sequence that way.

Hmm...on the one hand, I hate Yub Nub and much prefer the replacement, but on the other hand, the updated Jabba's Palace scene is excruciatingly bad.
posted by naoko at 4:44 PM on June 29, 2012


The Ewoks were going to cook and then eat the heroes. I wish that had been explored further.

What do you think the Ewoks were feeding to the heroes at the big end of the movie celebration? They didn't just find those Stormtrooper helmets laying around somewhere and decide to play them like drums for no good reason, man.

DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT YUB NUB MEANS? YUB NUB IS PEOPLE!!!!!! YUB!!!!NUB!!!!IS!!!!PEOPLE!!!!11!!1!
posted by The World Famous at 4:57 PM on June 29, 2012 [1 favorite]


I saw this, and I just haven't had a chance to check it out. It's not bad, but as a parody goes, and fan bitterness, The Kobe That We Used to Know is all kinds of awesome, as long as you like the basketball.
posted by Ghidorah at 5:00 AM on June 30, 2012


The definitive take on yub nub.
posted by zippy at 5:03 PM on June 30, 2012


Actually, I'd love to hear the version that Simon Pegg had to do when he wanted to include it in an episode of SPACED but couldn't get the rights to the original and had to do a cover version of it himself.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:25 PM on June 30, 2012 [1 favorite]


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