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The Argument Clinic
June 29, 2012 10:35 AM   Subscribe

Would you like to get an anonymous phone call from a stranger who is diametrically opposed to your own political views? Sure, we all do. Now, Political Screaming Match Dot Com is here to help, and can solve this age-old problem in 15 minutes or less.
posted by schmod (57 comments total) 15 users marked this as a favorite

 
My day has come.
posted by phrontist at 10:38 AM on June 29, 2012 [2 favorites]


Fascinating, albeit I already have enuf horrid things without.
posted by IwishIwasFordMaddoxFord at 10:39 AM on June 29, 2012


Listen pal I can call my relatives at anytime.
posted by 2bucksplus at 10:39 AM on June 29, 2012 [69 favorites]


if I didn't actually hate confrontation... this could be amusing. I know a few friends who'd probably love this, or love trolling this. On the other hand, I can get this at work whenever I feel like... so... interesting idea at least. ... I think?
posted by AngelWuff at 10:39 AM on June 29, 2012


This is gonna be like ChatRoulette, except with more dicks.
posted by schmod at 10:40 AM on June 29, 2012 [74 favorites]


More heat than light but more light than the official debates.
posted by DU at 10:42 AM on June 29, 2012


I did volunteer phone bank work to get people out to vote against Amendment One in NC. The first few rounds of calls were basically this idea sprinkled in with the occasional person who was actually on my side (once we were calling outside of the Raleigh-Durham-Chapel Hill area, that is).
posted by educatedslacker at 10:43 AM on June 29, 2012


Someone should make one of these for arguments about ketchup on hot dogs.
posted by bondcliff at 10:43 AM on June 29, 2012 [18 favorites]


I cannot explain why this is so tempting. I know I'll just end up angry or depressed.
posted by TheRedArmy at 10:44 AM on June 29, 2012


Or in love...
posted by TheRedArmy at 10:44 AM on June 29, 2012 [3 favorites]


Can't decide if this would help people blow off steam, or would just entrench their view that the "other side" is populated by jerks. Maybe both or neither. I think I will decline to find out personally.
posted by newg at 10:44 AM on June 29, 2012


Oh good, 'cuz the ENTIRE FREAKIN' INTERNET is so played out...
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:45 AM on June 29, 2012 [2 favorites]


Facebook: Telephone edition.
posted by shakespeherian at 10:45 AM on June 29, 2012 [10 favorites]


I am a fascism-curious anarchist Christian Democrat Rotarian. Here's my number, call me maybe?
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 10:45 AM on June 29, 2012 [7 favorites]


Real hard-ass trolls call this number and immediately capitulate: "Gosh, you make a good point. You're right. I never thought of it that way. It's interesting, I think this really turned me around."
posted by Greg Nog at 10:45 AM on June 29, 2012 [71 favorites]


And all you have to do to turn this into a (presumably) friendly chat line is to select a viewpoint that is diametrically opposed to your own, and wait for someone to call up to debate you on it. Of course, this presupposes that nobody else is doing the same...
posted by Strange Interlude at 10:46 AM on June 29, 2012


That was weird. Did anyone else get forwarded directly to the Coast to Coast AM?
posted by griphus at 10:50 AM on June 29, 2012 [2 favorites]


Love it.
posted by ph00dz at 10:51 AM on June 29, 2012


Finally! A solution to Australia's refugee problem!

Enter your cell phone
Oh. I see no way this will end badly.
posted by Mezentian at 10:51 AM on June 29, 2012 [4 favorites]


Finally a venue for me to discuss my hatred of the Anti-Nebraska Party and its admittedly few adherents.
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 10:52 AM on June 29, 2012 [2 favorites]


This one thing, among many, the world does not need--especially in the USA. There is already 24/7 debating, screaming, trolling and bloviating on TV, radio and the internet--let alone all the office/family/barroom arguing. this is an idea whose time should never have arrived.
posted by rmhsinc at 10:53 AM on June 29, 2012 [5 favorites]


I tried this and ended up sleeping with two of the callers.
posted by Burhanistan at 10:54 AM on June 29, 2012 [4 favorites]


For those you who don't want to put in your phone number:
2 CHOOSE YOUR SIDE ON ISSUES YOU WANT TO DISCUSS
PRO-CHOICE Abortion PRO-LIFE
GUN CONTROL Guns GUN OWNER RIGHTS
SOCIAL SAFETY-NET Government Programs PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY
UNIVERSAL HEALTHCARE Healthcare INDIVIDUAL CHOICE
LEGALIZE IT Marijuana IT'S THE GATEWAY DRUG
FOR IT Gay Marriage IS UNHOLY
So many false dilemmas...
posted by Apropos of Something at 10:54 AM on June 29, 2012 [6 favorites]


And to be clear, I have no problem with the Anti-Nebraska Party's foundational positions. I simply hate what it has become and do not cotton those who espouse its current views. They know who they are.

Why hasn't anybody called me yet.
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 10:54 AM on June 29, 2012 [7 favorites]


THIS IS A LIBERAL CONSPIRACY THE AREA OF THE WEBPAGE THAT IS BLUE IS 32% WHEREAS RED IS ONLY 23% .

DID YOU KNOW THAT AN ANAGRAM OF POLITICAL SHOUTING MATCH IS ATHEISTIC CRAP CALLING MOM

I DONT WANT NO ATHEISTIC CRAP CALLING MY MOM. LIBRUUUULS
posted by lalochezia at 10:58 AM on June 29, 2012 [12 favorites]


FOR IT Gay Marriage IS UNHOLY

Did anyone else just automatically read that as a sentence in a grindhouse horror film trailer voice?

FOR IT stalks THE NIGHT

IT

IT!

IT!

Rated X for nude violence.
posted by griphus at 10:58 AM on June 29, 2012 [4 favorites]


I should have predicted that this thread would eventually go to all caps...
posted by schmod at 10:58 AM on June 29, 2012 [2 favorites]


I had something like this happen to me years ago when I lived in Oklahoma City. Someone had written a letter to the editor and signed it FirstInitial.LastName, where LastName was both close to mine and unusual for OKC. Unfortunately, my phone number was listed and the letter writer's was not. My phone started ringing at 6am on a Sunday, and no one liked being told that they weren't yelling at the right person. Fun times, fun times...
posted by mosk at 11:02 AM on June 29, 2012 [1 favorite]


Humanity and common sense tell me to despise this. That doesn't mean I can't influence an easily exciteable conservative friend to do it, with an audience present of course.
posted by Ephelump Jockey at 11:02 AM on June 29, 2012


I think I'll have someone call me that agrees with everything that I agree with. How relaxing.
posted by Splunge at 11:04 AM on June 29, 2012 [2 favorites]


Things like this make the world a worse place.
posted by adamrice at 11:04 AM on June 29, 2012


So many false dilemmas...

Yeah, but since the entire right-wing spectrum of political stances is built on false dilemmas, it's kind of unavoidable.
posted by FatherDagon at 11:05 AM on June 29, 2012


I think there should be a law that campaigns can only have volunteers make phone calls. Campaigns should not be insulated from my rage when I pick up the phone only to hear a recording of Sheriff Joe Arpaio or Sarah Palin urging me to take back America by voting for some local candidate. If a campaign calls me, I want the opportunity to talk back and tell some phone bank worker why I'm not going to vote for their candidate.
posted by RonButNotStupid at 11:11 AM on June 29, 2012 [2 favorites]


Rated X for nude violence.

Mental images include: naked dueling pirates (using actual swords, you perverts); naked chainsaw murderers; people leaping out naked from behind shrubs and punching unsuspecting passers-by in the face.

posted by elizardbits at 11:11 AM on June 29, 2012 [1 favorite]


I assume the chainsaw murderers are using their penises, though.
posted by shakespeherian at 11:17 AM on June 29, 2012


Unless you have some better method I've never heard of.
posted by griphus at 11:23 AM on June 29, 2012


Oh, so it's a Monty Python sketch come to life?
posted by gaspode at 11:43 AM on June 29, 2012 [3 favorites]


DID YOU KNOW THAT AN ANAGRAM OF POLITICAL SHOUTING MATCH IS ATHEISTIC CRAP CALLING MOM Capitol Musical Tonight.
posted by griphus at 11:44 AM on June 29, 2012


Horrorporn version of Edward Scissorhands = Edward Chainsawpenis?
posted by elizardbits at 11:47 AM on June 29, 2012


That's kind of why I'm on MetaFilter.

(1) PAY FIVE DOLLARS
(2) QUESTION THE PIETIES OF THE BLUE MONOCULTURE
(3) ???
=
FAVES
posted by resurrexit at 11:51 AM on June 29, 2012 [4 favorites]


Easier version: live in a swing state. Be in the phone directory. Wait.
posted by jaduncan at 11:54 AM on June 29, 2012 [2 favorites]


I've lived in two very red states over the past 15 years. I'm currently in a place which went 75% for McCain in 08. I'm a little tempted to put my number in as a conservative just so I can get a phone call from a liberal, so I can realize I'm not the last liberal alive, since it feels that way in my daily when-not-online life.
posted by honestcoyote at 12:09 PM on June 29, 2012 [4 favorites]


Edward Chainsawpenis

For the love of god don't say that where David Cronenberg can hear you.
posted by shakespeherian at 12:22 PM on June 29, 2012 [4 favorites]


Metafilter's own David Cronenberg would really make my day.

My partner just found out that he has to stay in the hospital another night, which sucks because he thought otherwise earlier today, but now I know how he might be spending his time since he doesn't like Internet but loves that type of fighting.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 12:27 PM on June 29, 2012


Maybe we should be scared of Silver Age David Cronenberg, but contemporary David Cronenberg's Edward Chainsawpenis would be an hour and a half of Viggo Mortensen in a black suit contemplating difficult situations with beautiful women and then maybe like two minutes of chainsawpenising.
posted by griphus at 12:31 PM on June 29, 2012 [2 favorites]


I thought Silver Age David Cronenberg was the one where he had to go to ludicrous lengths to hide his secret identity from Lois while she was forced to marry a Space Chimp under the bizarre laws of a distant planet.
posted by shakespeherian at 12:34 PM on June 29, 2012 [1 favorite]


privacy policy?
posted by mrgrimm at 12:37 PM on June 29, 2012


That's Silver Age Francis Ford Coppola you're thinking of.
posted by griphus at 12:38 PM on June 29, 2012


This is GLORIOUS!
posted by corb at 12:53 PM on June 29, 2012


DID YOU KNOW THAT AN ANAGRAM OF POLITICAL SHOUTING MATCH IS 'A CHITCHATTING POLIO SLUM'?!?!
posted by Garm at 12:54 PM on June 29, 2012 [2 favorites]


Dear god please no never! Mom's due to call me any day now anyway.
posted by Occula at 1:04 PM on June 29, 2012


Oh, so it's a Monty Python sketch come to life?

No, it isn't.
posted by Celsius1414 at 1:06 PM on June 29, 2012 [9 favorites]


I am going to sign up for Gay Marriage is Unholy and then after aping a few talking points, listen carefully and then tell the pro-Gay Marriage person they are being totally reasonable and have convinced me of the error of my ways.

Can't think of a better way to make someone's day.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 1:07 PM on June 29, 2012 [10 favorites]


Oh yeah, and what the fuck is up with my redneck family on Facebook since the AHCA decision? I can see a website like this being useful in that it allows you to vent your crazy frothing hyperbolic OMG-socialism-final-nail-in-the-coffin-of-democracy in private.

Yesterday, I called my mom an ignorant selfish buffoon publicly in front of all of her friends and family. (and had my comment "liked" by half the family). This kind of discourse isn't good for anyone.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 1:12 PM on June 29, 2012 [9 favorites]


Yeah, that's... pretty much what my $5 has gotten me.
posted by herbplarfegan at 2:02 PM on June 29, 2012


Has anybody actually done this?
posted by schmod at 4:17 PM on June 29, 2012


If I didn't hate talking on the phone with a burning passion, I'd be tempted to put my information in (when ec2 is back up) and try to steer the conversation as pleasantly as possible, ask them if they have any barbecue plans for the 4th, what they're reading, if the weather there is nice enough to go do shit outside (or if it's hellishly up-and-down the way it is here.)

This sort of thing doesn't have to make the world worse.
posted by kagredon at 9:42 PM on June 29, 2012


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