Trouble in River City

June 29, 2012 12:49 PM

106-degree temperatures in Richmond, VA aren't even the worst of it. A weatherman for the local CBS affiliate delivers the last forecast Richmonders will need. (slyt)
posted by emelenjr (107 comments total)

We reached 107 in Baltimore. Heat index of 111.
posted by postel's law at 12:58 PM on June 29, 2012 [1 favorite]

That was much funnier than expected. Also, at least most of it clears up by the weekend. Except Godzilla. He never knows when to leave a party.
posted by dejah420 at 12:58 PM on June 29, 2012 [3 favorites]

This will be nothing like the Godzilla we had back in 87, oh boy.

Most of the neighbors are packing up and getting out of town, but I think this is bunch of hype. We have canned food and batteries and we're gonna stick it out.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 12:59 PM on June 29, 2012 [7 favorites]

*drops mic*

Walks off stage.
posted by Fizz at 12:59 PM on June 29, 2012 [6 favorites]

I think Godzilla has parked his ass on Toronto this week and he probably will be keeping it there until Monday. We'll keep poking him with sticks to encourage him to get down to Virginia by Wednesday. I'd hate to see that nice weatherman get turned into a liar.
posted by maudlin at 1:01 PM on June 29, 2012 [1 favorite]

Thursday looks nice.
posted by leotrotsky at 1:03 PM on June 29, 2012 [4 favorites]

That was awesome.
posted by Elly Vortex at 1:06 PM on June 29, 2012 [1 favorite]

What a relief.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 1:08 PM on June 29, 2012

Wonderful.
posted by alms at 1:08 PM on June 29, 2012

The "finish off the workweek" capper was a good giggle. Great stuff.
Of course, as a Hoosier, I have to remind people that Dave Letterman actually did predict canned hams falling from the skies, on air, when he was doing the weather here

We had 105 yesterday here. Almost hit 100 again today but, about an hour ago, a major storm came in and temps dropped 30 degrees in a few minutes. And a deluge of rain. Quiet now. Waiting for the next front to roll through.
posted by Thorzdad at 1:09 PM on June 29, 2012

There is nothing so valuable as a basis for comparison.
posted by ambrosia at 1:10 PM on June 29, 2012

So, if he's wrong, are we relieved or pissed off because the damn weatherman got the forecast wrong AGAIN?
posted by pentagoet at 1:10 PM on June 29, 2012 [3 favorites]

This reminds me of a forecast I actually heard on the radio once:

"Currently we have snow, followed by snow, sleet, and freezing rain tonight into tomorrow. The flesh-eating zombies are due Thursday."
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:11 PM on June 29, 2012 [3 favorites]

"Godzilla Wednesday, I'll be honest, I have no idea what's going to happen that day..."

This is my new term for the unexpected. "I don't know, Thanksgiving with my family is a real Godzilla Wednesday, sometimes it's nice and other times my grandparents bicker and my uncle is passed out drunk before the cranberry sauce is even on the table."

This is lies. My grandparents ALWAYS bicker, but sometimes they're not invited. Also now my grandmother's dead.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 1:12 PM on June 29, 2012 [22 favorites]

How do we know that's really a super-storm and not just a Mothra attack. These weather guys always that wrong.
posted by bonehead at 1:12 PM on June 29, 2012 [3 favorites]

Really really funny. Kinda reminds me of Jennie Stencil, who is awesome. Further evidence.
posted by jbickers at 1:14 PM on June 29, 2012 [6 favorites]

Um, I think this is fake. I mean, low humidity in Richmond?
posted by JiffyQ at 1:15 PM on June 29, 2012 [21 favorites]

Just hit 70 here in Portland. Feels like 71.
posted by perhapses at 1:16 PM on June 29, 2012 [17 favorites]

I am pleased to report that my three-year-old totally bought this, and I think the five-year-old could be swayed if I can keep a straight face.
posted by Alexander Hatchell at 1:20 PM on June 29, 2012 [18 favorites]

Oh no, Richmond's gotta go, go call Godzilla!
posted by Old'n'Busted at 1:20 PM on June 29, 2012 [2 favorites]

This is so much hooey. Everyone knows Godzilla happens frequently in Asia. WRONG AGAIN, WEATHER GUY!
posted by Kitteh at 1:21 PM on June 29, 2012

The weather is pretty nice here at 7200 feet. If only Colorado would keep the smoke from its wildfires away from here...stupid Colorado.
posted by Fister Roboto at 1:24 PM on June 29, 2012

The heat index in Arlington County, VA is 134° right now.
posted by schmod at 1:24 PM on June 29, 2012 [4 favorites]

Considering what went down in Washington yesterday, anything can happen.
posted by crunchland at 1:26 PM on June 29, 2012

Holy fucking shit, Arlington - it's 'only' 107° here. Pace yourself.

*sends ice water*
posted by Space Kitty at 1:30 PM on June 29, 2012

That was some great deadpan.
posted by griphus at 1:30 PM on June 29, 2012 [1 favorite]

I just walked a few blocks here in beautiful Arlington, VA and kind of enjoyed the extreme heat. It made me feel tough.
posted by The Lamplighter at 1:32 PM on June 29, 2012

That was fantastic, but this remains the only weather report I will ever need.

Thanks, Arthur.
posted by Shepherd at 1:36 PM on June 29, 2012 [14 favorites]

It's only 84 in Death Valley. When you're 20 degrees over motherfucking Death Valley, you really gotta wonder who you pissed off.
posted by Etrigan at 1:36 PM on June 29, 2012 [24 favorites]

Can I just say as well how much I love the Capital Weather Gang? They are my favorites. Currently the top of their page reads "Washington, D.C. shatters all-time June record high, sizzles to 104 (LIVE BLOG)". I am genuinely, non-sarcastically, 100% seriously charmed and delighted by the live-blogging of temperatures (or pretty much any weather measurements including but not limited to dew point, snowfall, rainfall, wind speed, and barometric pressure), especially when they involve breaking records by two degrees and it being described as "shattering".
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 1:38 PM on June 29, 2012 [5 favorites]

Nashville has apparently hit an all-time record high of 109 degrees so apparently I picked a great week to be out of town and at the beach. Apparently it will be a very reasonable 98 when I return to work on Monday.
posted by ghharr at 1:41 PM on June 29, 2012 [1 favorite]

It's only 84 in Death Valley.

I get your point, but I think something is wrong with that page. It must be about 110 in DV right now.
posted by found missing at 1:48 PM on June 29, 2012

It is approximately 107 inside, too, if you happen to be inside the L'Enfant Plaza metro station with me right now. Woof.
posted by troika at 1:49 PM on June 29, 2012 [2 favorites]

I got a weird end-times vibe from that... like those people that are cheerful that the world is about to end because they expect to be raptured.
posted by Rhomboid at 1:51 PM on June 29, 2012 [1 favorite]

As a Texan, I only have three words for you east-coasters and your heat wave: boo fucking hoo.
posted by tippiedog at 1:52 PM on June 29, 2012 [6 favorites]

Huh. DC's official weather monitoring station isn't located in DC -- it's across the Potomac in Virginia at DCA. Who decided on that?
posted by schmod at 1:53 PM on June 29, 2012 [1 favorite]

As a Texan,

Ha. I was chatting with a colleague in the DC office a little bit ago (I'm in California) and as I signed off I said stay cool, stay inside this weekend! She wrote back with how she's going kayaking and biking and a bunch of other outdoor stuff. I was all Are You Crazy and she said no, just moved here from Texas!
posted by rtha at 1:55 PM on June 29, 2012 [6 favorites]

I love you, Seattle! *mwa* *mwa* *mwa*
posted by tristeza at 1:56 PM on June 29, 2012 [6 favorites]

tippiedog: As a Texan, I only have three words for you east-coasters and your heat wave: boo fucking hoo.

The hottest temperature in Texas right now appears to be 104, with the majority of the state in the 90s. Texas is hot, but it's not like this heatwave is a pushover, either.
posted by gilrain at 1:57 PM on June 29, 2012 [1 favorite]

Incidentally, it's 109 ("feels like" 114) in my corner of Kentucky, right now.
posted by gilrain at 1:58 PM on June 29, 2012 [1 favorite]

The heat index for Arlington TX is only 104.
posted by rtha at 2:00 PM on June 29, 2012

I get your point, but I think something is wrong with that page. It must be about 110 in DV right now.

Yeah, I am seeing it in Celsius, but it says currently (at 3:00 PM local time) 25 but with high today of 46 and a low overnight of 29.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 2:05 PM on June 29, 2012

I won't be so cruel as to describe this week's weather in Oakland CA....
posted by supermedusa at 2:06 PM on June 29, 2012 [3 favorites]

Huh. DC's official weather monitoring station isn't located in DC -- it's across the Potomac in Virginia at DCA. Who decided on that?

That's because when people say they are from DC what they really mean is they are from the suburbs of Virginia.
posted by chemoboy at 2:07 PM on June 29, 2012 [2 favorites]

64 degrees in Eureka, CA, and it's kicking my butt.
posted by porn in the woods at 2:08 PM on June 29, 2012 [2 favorites]

"Only" 97 here. A little googling tells me that it hasn't been above 100 here in 24 years, this year might change that.
posted by octothorpe at 2:09 PM on June 29, 2012

Heat index here 111. It's the humidity.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 2:13 PM on June 29, 2012

It is 104 here in central Carolina. Send ice tea* and hand fans.

*not iced tea. Blocks of frozen tea. Hurry, I'm melting.
posted by winna at 2:14 PM on June 29, 2012 [4 favorites]

Okay, since Alia must have checked the weather after I did, it is even worse than I'd thought.
posted by winna at 2:15 PM on June 29, 2012

Huh. DC's official weather monitoring station isn't located in DC -- it's across the Potomac in Virginia at DCA. Who decided on that?

I think weather monitoring stations are often at airports, I guess because they're already tracking that stuff there and also it's as big an open, flat space as you're likely to find in an urban area.

Also, those temperature predictions are useless without letting us know what the dew points are.
posted by Copronymus at 2:16 PM on June 29, 2012 [1 favorite]

Huh. DC's official weather monitoring station isn't located in DC -- it's across the Potomac in Virginia at DCA. Who decided on that?

NOAA?

Regardless, cities=airports has been standard for a centuryish. It makes comparisons weird because they do change location. Baltimore's went from in the city to a quarter of the way toward DC.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 2:17 PM on June 29, 2012

The only bad thing about being a recently exed smoker is MY SUPER SMELL POWERS and oh god humans can stink when they get hot
posted by IwishIwasFordMaddoxFord at 2:19 PM on June 29, 2012 [1 favorite]

Accuweather is saying it's 117 in Death Valley.
posted by elsietheeel at 2:21 PM on June 29, 2012

106!
posted by MidSouthern Mouth at 2:22 PM on June 29, 2012

It's mighty hot here in the river city. The only nice thing is that at temps like this, the grass just stops growing and turns brown. No lawnmowers this weekend.
posted by joedanger at 2:22 PM on June 29, 2012

The NWS forecast for Memphis this week is Damnation Alley.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 2:31 PM on June 29, 2012

103 in Memphis, feels like 106. Expected to peak in the next hour or so. Same expected for the next couple of days. Still, glad I am not where some of you guys are.

Be cool. Check on your neighbors.
posted by grimjeer at 2:32 PM on June 29, 2012 [1 favorite]

I have to say, after last year's heat wave and record drought, I'm happy to enjoy the low 90s and chance of thunderstorms in SE Texas. We couldn't take another summer like last one.

This video was awesome.
posted by Salieri at 2:32 PM on June 29, 2012

Metafilter: Kind of a Godzilla Wednesday.
posted by DarlingBri at 2:37 PM on June 29, 2012 [2 favorites]

Hah, I just moved out of Richmond to spend 6 months in central America. Currently 85 degrees in the highlands of guatemala.
posted by empath at 2:39 PM on June 29, 2012 [2 favorites]

We reached 107 in Baltimore. Heat index of 111.

That's not what I heard.
posted by Mcable at 2:42 PM on June 29, 2012 [1 favorite]

That's not what I heard.

What's that two degree guarantee worth?
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 2:50 PM on June 29, 2012

108 in Murray KY. Heat index of 113.

This fucking blows.
posted by deezil at 2:51 PM on June 29, 2012

I'm comfortably nestled in the moutains of western North Carolina. Here in Asheville, it's a balmy....

oh shit. It's fucking 94 degrees, 30% humidity, with tomorrow and Sunday with triple-digit highs? Fuck this. I'm not wearing pants for the next few days.
posted by lazaruslong at 3:00 PM on June 29, 2012 [1 favorite]

101 on my front porch, with a dew point of 70, humidity of like 51%, heat index is 125. And, it won't get much cooler over night. That is the hard part, at least in most parts of Texas, it cools off at night, so you get a break.

My husband wishes for Texas summers when it gets like this here. It would be nice to have an overnight break. Time to go water my plants on my porch, before they die.
posted by SuzySmith at 3:02 PM on June 29, 2012

Damn. It's 23C (ca. 73F) here in Calgary. That's at least 1C warmer than the average for June 30. Partly cloudy under a sky of Simpsons-credits blue. Not often I'm grateful for Calgary's never-actually-hot June days, but 134F with the heat index and Godzilla as the best hope for a break in the weather?

Yeah, this year I'll take the cool prairie breeze, thanks.
posted by gompa at 3:16 PM on June 29, 2012

Tarzan couldn't take this kind of hot.
posted by dismitree at 3:16 PM on June 29, 2012 [1 favorite]

It "only" got to 97 here south of Pittsburgh, but that beat our daily record by ten degrees and our monthly one by one degree (the forecast was 91; when it was 81 at 9 a.m. el_lupino and I laid bets on the high. I took 97 or more and won, unfortunately; you know shit's bananas when Pittsburgh is beating out Fresno for the high). I'm watching that thunderstorm come screaming across Ohio at us via WeatherSpark right now. It dropped the temperature 30 degrees in my mom's hometown in Indiana earlier today. Lotta orange; should be fun, just so long as the power doesn't go out.
posted by jocelmeow at 3:20 PM on June 29, 2012

I keep going back and forth on whether I would want Godzilla to attack my city. The awesomeness to horror ratio of an attack by a reptile kilometres high is confusing and disturbs me. I feel it would be hypocritical to want it to attack elsewhere, indeed anywhere, and yet I so much want it to exist.
posted by aeschenkarnos at 3:24 PM on June 29, 2012

Godzilla, at the largest he was depicted, was only (ha! 'only'!) 400m tall. That's not kilometers high, that's not even half a klom.
posted by mephron at 3:30 PM on June 29, 2012

About time I got my own day. Godzilla Wednesday, let it forever ring out across the nation. See all ya MeFites in VA on Wednesday.
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 3:59 PM on June 29, 2012

There was a meeting that I probably should have gone to DC for this week. And if it had been in March, I probably would have gone. But I'm trying really hard not to go to DC between June and September, because you just never know when there will be a volcano in the summertime in DC. So I just kept my head down and hoped no one would ask me if I was going. And no one did until last week, at which point I could legitimately point out that it was too late to get a reasonably-priced ticket. So I just called in, and everyone was happy. Victory!

Of course, the irony is that I live near an actual live volcano!
posted by lunasol at 4:30 PM on June 29, 2012

Capital Weather Gang: Severe thunderstorm watch for Washington, D.C. area; violent, damaging winds possible:

A derecho - a large, long-lived line of fast moving, violent thunderstorms - is headed towards the Washington, D.C. metro region...

As the line moves through, wind gusts up to 80 mph are possible. This derecho has a history of producing damaging winds of 70-90 mph from Chicago through Columbus. Some hail is also possible. Dangerous lightning and torrential rain will also likely accompany these storms...

This derecho produced a 91 mph wind gust in Fort Wayne, Indiana and 72 mph gust in Columbus. The storm has knocked out power to more than 280,000 customers in Ohio and produced significant damage. Over 200 wind damage reports have occured from this storm complex from Illionis to Ohio.

posted by schmod at 4:31 PM on June 29, 2012

People who are saying things don't look so bad in Texas right now should note that our heat wave broke already.
posted by immlass at 4:46 PM on June 29, 2012

My love for the Capital Weather Gang was solidified this morning when I read this: "Today: Hazy, unpleasant. ... Tomorrow: Oppressive. ... Sunday: Still sweaty"
posted by SugarAndSass at 4:47 PM on June 29, 2012 [4 favorites]

I'd laugh but the news anchor on the channel I was watching just promised they would bring me the latest news in the fast breaking story of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes breaking up. He said "This is big!"
posted by srboisvert at 4:51 PM on June 29, 2012

"My grandparents ALWAYS bicker, but sometimes they're not invited. Also now my grandmother's dead."

The good news is that should cut out a lot of the bickering.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 4:57 PM on June 29, 2012 [1 favorite]

Yeah - Pennsylvania, enjoy those thunderstorms. They were crazy. 80 mph winds, 115,000 people without power in Columbus, flooding, trees and power lines down everywhere. But - it went from 103 degrees to 72 in about 45 minutes.
posted by ChuraChura at 5:18 PM on June 29, 2012

Ah, the heat. It's 104 in St. Louis right now; it hit 108 yesterday, and by 11 p.m. it was still in the high 90s.
posted by limeonaire at 5:29 PM on June 29, 2012

Yeah, I'll take Godzilla over Jim Inhofe any day of the week. Today's been less excruciating than yesterday, at least.
posted by dragonplayer at 5:31 PM on June 29, 2012

74 today in west hollywood. Suck it.
posted by Justinian at 5:39 PM on June 29, 2012

no thanks, we don't know where it's been
posted by elizardbits at 5:44 PM on June 29, 2012 [4 favorites]

And this all happens to Richmond, you say? If only.
posted by pracowity at 6:06 PM on June 29, 2012

My friends in Malawi have informed me that it is too hot for America. I am inclined to agree.
posted by palindromic at 6:38 PM on June 29, 2012

The Roberts court rules that "Stolen Valor" is unconstitutional and so God smites DC with oven like heat and a mega windstorm. Apparently the lord wasn't kidding about allowing the worship of false idols. Alternatively you can beleive it was the result of increased heat energy in the atmosphere from carbon emissions. That sounds like a fair tale though. Some invisible, oderless gas, you've got to be kidding me.
posted by humanfont at 6:41 PM on June 29, 2012 [1 favorite]

Oh, this was a wonderful way to end this day, when everyone felt compelled to post a picture of their dashboard thermometer on Facebook. We get it! It's hot! Also, your thermometer isn't accurate!
posted by Sweetie Darling at 6:55 PM on June 29, 2012

I guess this is a good place to point out that Seattle has had *zero* cloud free days so far in 2012, and we've broken 70 degrees like twice. The despair is starting to set in. Every five years or so, there is literally no summer, and this is likely going to be one of those years.

This is where we get our passive aggressive Im-so-put-upon-attitude. Fuck all y'all.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 7:56 PM on June 29, 2012 [1 favorite]

After a sweaty-ass day, I just stood out on my balcony in Arlington and watched this tremendous thunderstorm blow a lounger off my building's roof and onto someone's Mini Cooper. Whoops!
posted by timetoevolve at 8:20 PM on June 29, 2012 [2 favorites]

Year after year of "record breaking" records... have the (anthropomorphic) climate change deniers an official position?

Out on the West of N.Am., we've had an interestingly colder spring/early summer without too much extra wet. I'm loving it, but it's another sign of changing energy patterns in the sky and in the seas that is going to affect the rest of the earth.
posted by porpoise at 8:44 PM on June 29, 2012

Sweetie Darling: "Also, your thermometer isn't accurate!"

Sure it is, it's just not measuring what you think it is. It's (generally, these days) indirectly measuring the temperature of the air entering the engine. This is obviously much hotter than the temperature read by a shaded thermometer at the top of a 10m pole. Especially when you've just started the car and the air in the engine bay is 10-20 degrees above ambient, which is itself higher than the 10m reading thanks to the pavement and being closer to the ground.
posted by wierdo at 8:45 PM on June 29, 2012

Every five years or so, there is literally no summer, and this is likely going to be one of those years.

Hey, it's not July 4th yet! WE STILL HAVE TIME.
posted by lunasol at 8:45 PM on June 29, 2012 [1 favorite]

And this all happens to Richmond, you say? If only.

Well, Charlottesville gets it kind of tough. (wahoo wa?)
posted by thecaddy at 9:14 PM on June 29, 2012

Amazon Web Services in Virginia just went down and took all my sites with them.

Fuckin' volcano.
posted by mph at 9:21 PM on June 29, 2012 [1 favorite]

I only speak celsius, so whenever I hear Americans and older people talking about 90+ degree temperatures, I always have a brief moment of terrified confusion, wondering how everyone's not dead.

Anyways, it's been in the mid-thirties a lot lately, and I for one am happy about it. Or I would be, if everyone didn't find it neccessary to crank the A/C so high that every indoor space is about ten degrees and I have to bring an annoying sweater everywhere I go. Grrr.
posted by windykites at 9:34 PM on June 29, 2012

Derechos are fascinatingly terrifying. They literally look like biblical rapture. Enjoy it and stay safe.

Man, am I glad I didn't extend my vacation one day. I left beautiful Westchester County, NY, Thursday morning and it was a delightful 79 or so. Drove for 3/4 of a tank, gassed up in the Poconos where it was 83-ish and maybe a little humid. Drove for a while more, noticed that I was starting to feel a little warm and sticky with the AC at max, and stopped off near Cleveland for some food. Got out of the car and damn near asphyxiated from the blast. It wasn't just hot (99), it was humid and the wind was blowing even hotter somehow.

But it sounds like it would have been even worse had I driven back today. Massive heat plus a derecho. Yuck.
posted by gjc at 9:46 PM on June 29, 2012

Today's weather in Gotham: cloudy with a chance of Batman.
posted by SPrintF at 12:20 AM on June 30, 2012

and kind of enjoyed the extreme heat. It made me feel tough.

Yes! There's something invigorating about being able to enjoy the heat and humidity. Every ragged breath is fuck you to death, every sweat dripping step is a battle cry of the power of and *passes out*
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 4:32 AM on June 30, 2012 [2 favorites]

I wonder how many people are going to die from the heat this summer.
posted by desjardins at 5:02 AM on June 30, 2012 [1 favorite]

Good morning, sunshine!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 5:09 AM on June 30, 2012

"Sunday, Monday,.....
Tuesday, Wednesday,...."

I refuse to be the only one with this ear-worm.
posted by whowearsthepants at 6:03 AM on June 30, 2012

A few months after moving to Vancouver, I realized that actually, I somewhat missed winter.

Now I realize that I miss summer too.
posted by Seiten Taisei at 7:20 AM on June 30, 2012 [1 favorite]

Atlanta's opened up cooling stations. Hopefully other cities will follow suit.
posted by winna at 7:31 AM on June 30, 2012

Send ice tea* *not iced tea. Blocks of frozen tea

In Portugal, Lipton Iced Tea is both pretty good (especially the pineapple flavor, which I would like to start importing) and also called (in English) Ice Tea. And every time it makes me giggle.

My favorite though is the giant signs that say "NO SMOKERS." Look, pal, we know you had a cigarette earlier this morning so just find another establishment, ok?
posted by sonika at 8:10 AM on June 30, 2012

Derechos ... literally look like biblical rapture.
Here in the Shenandoah Valley, last night was Outdoor Movie Night. We all fled inside to gape at (a) the screen flapping horizontally (b) huge maple limbs crash down on the projector table (c) this forecast, which bemused one math undergrad ("Wait, why's he talking about a volcano so casually?") right up until Godzilla Wednesday. Based on last night, we can predict unraptured souls will wind up in basements, drinking lavender-gin sno cones & watching Hedwig and the Angry Inch. No one had the heart to evict the refugee possum.
posted by feral_goldfish at 12:05 PM on June 30, 2012

Good explanation (with video!) of yesterday's derecho.

The video.
posted by rtha at 4:31 PM on June 30, 2012 [1 favorite]

Best weather report EVER.
posted by New Frontier at 9:55 PM on June 30, 2012 [1 favorite]

The aftermath.
posted by schmod at 8:02 AM on July 10, 2012