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June 30, 2012 5:04 PM   Subscribe

Little Surrealist Dictionary A game of re-definitions.
posted by adamvasco (138 comments total) 35 users marked this as a favorite

 
The home page is even more surrealist.
posted by cropshy at 5:15 PM on June 30, 2012 [1 favorite]


Is this from an actual game with rules? Because I desperately want to play that.
posted by JHarris at 5:15 PM on June 30, 2012


More seriously, I first saw this in Alastair Brotchie's A Book of Surrealist Games back in the 90s.
posted by cropshy at 5:18 PM on June 30, 2012


Abe Books has a few copies left.
posted by snaparapans at 5:20 PM on June 30, 2012


Okay guys you have your prompt, surrealist games. And... go!
posted by JHarris at 5:21 PM on June 30, 2012


(Someone opens a Monopoly set and swallows the thumble.) Scene!
posted by JHarris at 5:21 PM on June 30, 2012 [6 favorites]


Thimble. Dammit.
posted by JHarris at 5:22 PM on June 30, 2012 [2 favorites]


For comparison to the source material Amazon has a preview of Brotchie's book.
posted by snaparapans at 5:24 PM on June 30, 2012


JHarris, it's OK. Thumble is totally a word. The question is, what does it mean?

Get on this, people.
posted by Scientist at 5:45 PM on June 30, 2012 [2 favorites]


Thumble
posted by louche mustachio at 5:51 PM on June 30, 2012 [2 favorites]


Essentially, it means to "fatfinger" something, to touch with the thumb or handle clumsily. Excellent for anyone who has trouble with small keyboards or touchpads.

I thumbled that text and asked her if she wanted to eat at The Poophouse tonight.
posted by louche mustachio at 5:54 PM on June 30, 2012 [7 favorites]


(I know I am not playing the game correctly. But it's a great wrod that seems well suited for a time which requires such tiny movements and such a light touch.
posted by louche mustachio at 6:02 PM on June 30, 2012


Also To rumble as thunder. Obsolete variant of thimble..

Surreal Game full circle... chance by clumsiness or thumbsiness.. all thumbs
posted by snaparapans at 6:03 PM on June 30, 2012


A wrod being a long cylindrical unit of meaning. Of course.
posted by louche mustachio at 6:05 PM on June 30, 2012 [6 favorites]


A wrod is something one might use to distance oneself from a disturbing subject. To stand back and poke it, without engaging closely.
posted by louche mustachio at 6:07 PM on June 30, 2012


A wrod: baseball player with 16 1/2 feet.
posted by snaparapans at 6:09 PM on June 30, 2012


Is the half-foot vestigal, or has it evolved for a baseball-related purpose? Or perhaps it is used in courtship displays?
posted by louche mustachio at 6:13 PM on June 30, 2012


Can someone define "Metafilter" for me?
posted by tzikeh at 6:15 PM on June 30, 2012


Metafilter: Can someone define "Metafilter" for me?
posted by cmoj at 6:17 PM on June 30, 2012 [9 favorites]


I believe the half-foot has double dewclaws, to facilitate scrambles up mountains.
posted by likeso at 6:19 PM on June 30, 2012 [1 favorite]


Ooh it would be fascinating to observe a wrod in the wild, scrambling up mountains. I hear they eat money.


I think a Metafilter is a photographic device that enables one to capture images of the underside of cats.
posted by louche mustachio at 6:23 PM on June 30, 2012


Unlike the 16 feet, the half foot is somewhat effeminate but not entirely.
posted by snaparapans at 6:25 PM on June 30, 2012 [1 favorite]


Mm. And hallucinations of baseball-playing canines. In lederhosen.
posted by likeso at 6:25 PM on June 30, 2012


Soft and fancy, yet manly.
posted by louche mustachio at 6:27 PM on June 30, 2012


Metafilter: A quick bout of casual light sex.
posted by snaparapans at 6:27 PM on June 30, 2012


What this gathering needs, I think, is a mildly alcoholic beverage that causes typos. I don't know what that would be called, though.
posted by louche mustachio at 6:30 PM on June 30, 2012


A tired-looking man grimaces and kneels, washing his hands in the dirty stream.
posted by laconic skeuomorph at 6:30 PM on June 30, 2012


Does he have any booze? Ask him if he has any booze.
posted by louche mustachio at 6:31 PM on June 30, 2012


"Certainly I have," replies the man. "BOO! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO."
posted by louche mustachio at 6:32 PM on June 30, 2012 [2 favorites]


He said, anticipating my terrible joke. This man can see the future. We should be terrified of him!
posted by louche mustachio at 6:33 PM on June 30, 2012 [1 favorite]


Metheglin! I mean, Merlin!
posted by likeso at 6:34 PM on June 30, 2012


A thumbler of drunks, nummer 10?
posted by snaparapans at 6:37 PM on June 30, 2012


Gesundheit!
posted by louche mustachio at 6:37 PM on June 30, 2012


I for one, am feeling nummer already.
posted by louche mustachio at 6:39 PM on June 30, 2012 [1 favorite]


I think I'd like a number 16, actually. Six degrees, you know.
posted by likeso at 6:41 PM on June 30, 2012


Six of them! You must be very smart.
posted by louche mustachio at 6:42 PM on June 30, 2012


Heading? Three sheets to the wind.
posted by likeso at 6:43 PM on June 30, 2012


Won't be making the bed any time soon, that's for sure.
posted by louche mustachio at 6:46 PM on June 30, 2012


Ah, but we must lie in it, nevertheless.
posted by likeso at 6:52 PM on June 30, 2012


Swapping canards in bed?
posted by louche mustachio at 6:54 PM on June 30, 2012


Prevarication en couchant.
posted by likeso at 6:55 PM on June 30, 2012


And you know very well one swaps mallards in bed, saucy!
posted by likeso at 6:56 PM on June 30, 2012


A little of the ol' "duck and cover," eh?
posted by louche mustachio at 7:03 PM on June 30, 2012


Oh Ducky! Exquisite epithalame, and connubial conjunction.
posted by snaparapans at 7:03 PM on June 30, 2012


I regret to inform you that my mallards were devoured by a wrod, so I won't be any fun.
posted by louche mustachio at 7:05 PM on June 30, 2012 [1 favorite]


So sad! And no gooses at which to take a gander!
posted by likeso at 7:07 PM on June 30, 2012


I haven't been goosed for a long time.
posted by louche mustachio at 7:11 PM on June 30, 2012


If we find some booze I'll have a few swallows, though.
posted by louche mustachio at 7:12 PM on June 30, 2012 [1 favorite]


Water, water everywhere, nor any drop to drink.
posted by likeso at 7:14 PM on June 30, 2012


sheswallowingtheblues by the sea shore while gandering a goose getting taken by a gander.... and the duckies what have the left to do? Canard!
posted by snaparapans at 7:15 PM on June 30, 2012


Oi! Mind me bird necklace!
posted by likeso at 7:15 PM on June 30, 2012 [1 favorite]


We shouldn't drink this water. There is a man upstream all sticking his hands in it. He can see the future - he might be a prophet. So God knows where he's been.
posted by louche mustachio at 7:17 PM on June 30, 2012 [1 favorite]


Chapeau, louche mustachio! And I throw in a hoed, or perhaps a hoofddeksel.
posted by likeso at 7:20 PM on June 30, 2012


On second thought, veils. Seven of them.
posted by likeso at 7:22 PM on June 30, 2012


(Yes, there's even one for Sunday. These are enlightened times.)
posted by likeso at 7:27 PM on June 30, 2012


The lobster popped out of the phone booth, lederhosen slightly awry, and with a sheen to them, as though he'd accidentally rubbed up against something moist. He saw Sajak across the way. "Oi, Pat! Did I miss anything?"
posted by ocherdraco at 7:27 PM on June 30, 2012 [2 favorites]


[SLYT] Bird: New Bird Swan records. Chasin the bird..... Leda
posted by snaparapans at 7:31 PM on June 30, 2012


I just understood what surrealism is, and I'm not telling but I will say that it's not puns.
posted by cmoj at 7:31 PM on June 30, 2012


Rose Sélavy?
posted by snaparapans at 7:36 PM on June 30, 2012


Rrose Sélavy... spellcheck is getting in on the game too!
posted by snaparapans at 7:40 PM on June 30, 2012 [2 favorites]


Triomphe de Moules I [Moules Casserole]
posted by snaparapans at 7:44 PM on June 30, 2012


I just understood what surrealism is, and I'm not telling but I will say that it's not puns.



Nothing worthwhile is.
posted by louche mustachio at 8:01 PM on June 30, 2012


Although any Proper Art Critic will say that Surrealism is also not worthwhile.



Not implying anything, of course.
posted by louche mustachio at 8:07 PM on June 30, 2012


No true Wrod.
posted by likeso at 8:10 PM on June 30, 2012


Yugoslavia's not puns either. Flemish on the other hand..
posted by snaparapans at 8:10 PM on June 30, 2012


Flemish buns. One for each hand. If you have double dewclaws, you might manage four.
posted by likeso at 8:15 PM on June 30, 2012


No more puns. We have been warned. Remember - we are unsure if there are rules or not. If there are rules, we mustn't break them, because there could be consequences of unknown severity and duration.

Cmoj has implied that he knows something. It might be the rules. I don't think he would rat us out, but we better do what he says.
posted by louche mustachio at 8:17 PM on June 30, 2012


I can't get busted man, my artistic license has been revoked.
posted by louche mustachio at 8:19 PM on June 30, 2012


But mustn't we break the rules? Are we not artistes? Je n'ai pas peur du Chambre 101, toi?!

Love! Freedom! Wildfowl!
posted by likeso at 8:20 PM on June 30, 2012


Oh. Shit. Yeah. Got too many points, huh? Damn.
posted by likeso at 8:23 PM on June 30, 2012


Snot, not telling rules!
posted by snaparapans at 8:24 PM on June 30, 2012


MetaFilter: A plate of beans, overthought
posted by not_on_display at 8:32 PM on June 30, 2012


I SWEAR I HAVE BEEN STANDING IN A WADING POOL FULL OF PEAS HURLING FISH AND EPITHETS AT PASSERBY THIS ENTIRE TIME. I HAVE MY HAND ON A BOOK.
posted by louche mustachio at 8:32 PM on June 30, 2012 [1 favorite]


Are we not artistes?


I told you I'm not allowed and I haven't got the proper headgear anyway.
posted by louche mustachio at 8:34 PM on June 30, 2012


I can testify to louche mustachio's whereabouts and proclivities. Er, activities. I am now in possession of three mackerel and the title Cream Faced Loon.
posted by likeso at 8:41 PM on June 30, 2012 [1 favorite]


Metafilter: Can someone define "Metafilter: Can someone define "Metafilter: Can someone define "Metafilter: Can someone define "Metafilter: Can someone define "Metafilter: Can someone define "Metafilter: Can someone define "Metafilter: Can someone define "Metafilter: Can someone define "Metafilter: Can someone define "Metafilter: Can someone define "Metafilter: Can someone define "Metafilter: Can someone define "Metafilter: Can someone define "Metafilter: Can someone define "Metafilter: Can someone define "Metafilter: Can someone define "Metafilter: Can someone define "Metafilter: Can someone define "Metafilter: Can someone define "Metafilter: Can someone define "Metafilter: Can someone define "Metafilter: Can someone define "Metafilter" for me?" for me?" for me?" for me?" for me?" for me?" for me?" for me?" for me?" for me?" for me?" for me?" for me?" for me?" for me?" for me?" for me?" for me?" for me?" for me?" for me?" for me?" for me?

for me?
posted by ennui.bz at 8:41 PM on June 30, 2012 [1 favorite]


(what happened to all the veils?)
posted by likeso at 8:41 PM on June 30, 2012


Snup.
posted by unSane at 8:42 PM on June 30, 2012


We hung the veils on a wrod to dry.





It ran away.
posted by louche mustachio at 8:56 PM on June 30, 2012 [1 favorite]


Welp, then we must drink. Drown our sorrows. Swallow our downs. Sláinte!
posted by likeso at 9:01 PM on June 30, 2012


All our enemies are mortal.
posted by ovvl at 9:02 PM on June 30, 2012


Three to squish the squids and four to lick the canvas. I forget what eight was for.
posted by eriko at 9:02 PM on June 30, 2012 [1 favorite]


They were beautiful veils.
posted by louche mustachio at 9:03 PM on June 30, 2012


All our enemies are mortal.


Oh good. This means I can kill time.
posted by louche mustachio at 9:07 PM on June 30, 2012 [1 favorite]


I know, hon. I bought 'em specially.

But ovvl says the baddies will die and eriko has squids. So that's alright.
posted by likeso at 9:08 PM on June 30, 2012


My brane panes me that it may cease to coolly rime with pane anon.
posted by arzakh at 9:11 PM on June 30, 2012


Perhaps I can help.

*smashes pane*
posted by louche mustachio at 9:16 PM on June 30, 2012


There went the fourth wall. Damned glass houses.

(Toddling off... toodles!)
posted by likeso at 9:30 PM on June 30, 2012


damn it, I neither have a knife or a dictionary on me right now.
posted by edgeways at 9:53 PM on June 30, 2012


fnord
posted by Pyrogenesis at 1:22 AM on July 1, 2012


blurp
posted by Skygazer at 2:02 AM on July 1, 2012


Good morning. Anyone know how to groom a toodle? They're bitey.
posted by louche mustachio at 4:27 AM on July 1, 2012


Use a broom, and don't dawdle.
posted by likeso at 4:30 AM on July 1, 2012


They are far more high maintenance than the slanty welps, who just need a dish of scotch and a wedge.
posted by louche mustachio at 4:34 AM on July 1, 2012


Slanty welps. I wish I had slanty welps. They would be a joy after the toodles, resulting in an end positive. You lucky, lucky non-gender-specific-affectionately-intended derogatory term.
posted by likeso at 4:39 AM on July 1, 2012


Quadrature of silence! If that doesn't have immediate applications in quantum theory, I'm a Dutchman. Makes me think of photons, elbowing their way through space on their ripply Maxwellian caterpillar tracks, like so many flagellate protists.
posted by Devonian at 4:40 AM on July 1, 2012


Αυτά μου φαίνονται κινέζικα.
posted by likeso at 4:44 AM on July 1, 2012


A New Creation Mythos, Approved For Teaching As Science In Swiving Parvus.

In cavern deep, the Mefite Beast
In Nightmare's web is caught
It writhes insensate in its fear
Entombed in silken thought

Its thrashings cause its wounds to weep
From scale and bracelet thorn
A drop, a drop, a drop, a drop
Venom, sweetness, hope, scorn

Yet deeper still and darker yet
The soil turns all to custard
And up spring starling, owl and tern
Ostrich, puffin and bustard.
posted by Devonian at 5:02 AM on July 1, 2012


Ah.

Though there's nothing parvus about my swiving.
posted by likeso at 5:14 AM on July 1, 2012


koan, once again with a lot less schmaltz..
posted by snaparapans at 6:38 AM on July 1, 2012


likeso, it's actually to St Anne's, vide.

Sheep and granite purely incidental.
posted by Devonian at 6:47 AM on July 1, 2012


Am now completely distracted by burning questions regarding the possible existance of Lower Nidderdale, just how stean the gorge actually is and whether Pately Bridge was once paved with skulls.
posted by likeso at 6:58 AM on July 1, 2012


Swiving Parvus is not far from Upper Nidderdale, of course, or at least the historical site thereof. At first it was separate from Swiving Magnus, having two hung flights of bells compared to Swiving Magnus' three. Both towns, for better or worse, were built over a vein of nearly-pure Thatcherite, a most important ore in the early Industrial Revolution, as it smelted easily into brass and pumpkins. The resultant immigration caused the Swivings to merge into Greater Swiving - which name fell foul, famously, to late Victorian priggishness, thus giving birth to the post-industrial blot we know as Funtcucker-on-the-Moor.
posted by Devonian at 7:26 AM on July 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


Wasn't there a thing where we were supposed to give surreal definitions to regular words, at some point in this thread? What happened? HAS THE WHOLE THREAD GONE SURREAL?

...Nah, makes too much sense.
posted by tzikeh at 7:27 AM on July 1, 2012


Blurp.
posted by Skygazer at 7:43 AM on July 1, 2012


We were supposed to do something?



I shall carve a monument to The Thing We Were Supposed To Do out of incidental granite. It will resemble several pairs of socks.
posted by louche mustachio at 8:23 AM on July 1, 2012


Mornington Crescent!
posted by ZsigE at 8:27 AM on July 1, 2012


The inscription on the base shall read


OH SHIT YOV GVYS
HERE COMES ANDRE
EVERYONE LOOK
SERIOVS AND
PRETEND TO BE
COMMVNISTS

posted by louche mustachio at 8:32 AM on July 1, 2012


I will need some assistance acquiring the granite. It is being guarded by a vicious sheep.
posted by louche mustachio at 8:34 AM on July 1, 2012


Elephants are contageous (pdf)
A corset in July is worth a horde of rats.
posted by adamvasco at 8:38 AM on July 1, 2012 [1 favorite]



....


Blurp blurp.
posted by Skygazer at 8:44 AM on July 1, 2012


Some who can't dance like to watch.
posted by es_de_bah at 9:30 AM on July 1, 2012


Grok: Something this is to understand a giraffe in a bathtub?

-Myslef, I'll show now out.
posted by vozworth at 9:37 AM on July 1, 2012


Well, I'm back. Here it is. I need to rest a minute, that sheep was proper vicious. Now viscous.


Wait. What? Wait.

What the fuck am I supposed to do with all this feldspar?
posted by likeso at 9:42 AM on July 1, 2012


Proposed addendum to inscription. André's immortal first words spoken cheerily on a cellphone to his wife upon return to earth after firey re-entry in a tin can, flanked by a thoroughly nauseated and debilitated Russian and an unconscious American: "Hé. Hé, ik ben d'r."

Translation? In slightly other words: "Well, I'm back."
posted by likeso at 9:56 AM on July 1, 2012


Woot!
Wait, "Woot?"

sardined cosmonauts are a rugged delicacy, a popular wedding dish among the nomadic Gypsum.
posted by es_de_bah at 10:31 AM on July 1, 2012


Reality TV being the state it is, the sting of overwrought product placement is considered a big, fat distraction at such affairs.
posted by es_de_bah at 10:36 AM on July 1, 2012


549. It’s amazing how many lobsters don’t realize that the goal is to sell your lederhosen or the stain thereon — it’s not about winning Wheel of Fortune. It’s important to start with the basics. Knowing Sajak is key. Maybe your target is the all-important bubble-forest demographic. Maybe it’s men, 18-34. Maybe you’re marketing to the ever-growing giraffe-in-a-bathtub population. Tell me your target. I promise to aim, fire, and hit with clear, concise butter that’s delivered on your lederhosen.
posted by not_on_display at 10:44 AM on July 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


549. It’s amazing how many lobsters don’t realize that the goal is to sell your lederhosen or the stain thereon — it’s not about winning Wheel of Fortune. It’s important to start with the basics. Knowing Sajak is key. Maybe your target is the all-important bubble-forest demographic. Maybe it’s men, 18-34. Maybe you’re marketing to the ever-growing giraffe-in-a-bathtub population. Tell me your target. I promise to aim, fire, and hit with clear, concise butter that’s delivered on your lederhosen.


I...completely understand what you're saying there...

I shouldn't but I do.

Is that a good or a bad thing?? Should I book a flight to a psychiatry hospital and eat ice cream with the elderly giraffe?


Blurp?
posted by Skygazer at 11:12 AM on July 1, 2012


Skygazer: "Is that a good or a bad thing?? Should I book a flight to a psychiatry hospital and eat ice cream with the elderly giraffe? Blurp?"

1) Yes.
2) Blurp.
3) Yes.
posted by not_on_display at 11:45 AM on July 1, 2012


Sod off skygazer,

The history of demographic research is a dull play of failed palindromes and poorly conceived shadow puppets. What looks like a giraffe was meant to signify an evergreen. What looks like a bathtub was meant to be filled with melted butter and red felsh.
posted by es_de_bah at 12:01 PM on July 1, 2012


Oohhh incidental granite has fossils of ancient tweezers in it.
posted by louche mustachio at 12:10 PM on July 1, 2012


It's also ...sticky?
posted by louche mustachio at 12:10 PM on July 1, 2012


FetaMelter: The kitschiest icky microwaved schticky .
posted by vozworth at 12:25 PM on July 1, 2012


Real ancient granite has the consistency and texture of fine Italian chocolate ice-cream, but tastes even more delicious. Geologists just haven't got around to telling anyone else about it yet.
posted by Devonian at 12:39 PM on July 1, 2012


BBBBBBLUUURPPP.........my giraffe tortellini!! And crsuh my Gallic!! Toss my beets!! and walnut my salad!!

Suck a tunnel entrance in reverse, pay the toll, ask not for whom, the anus leaks vapors, in the shade of the Beechgum trees!!

Giraffe my cunts!!

Blurp...blurp...
posted by Skygazer at 12:55 PM on July 1, 2012


Schtick-figure comics have of course become you bake wit' us, recently. Fondue is the ingenious igneous bubbling in away any good kitschen.
posted by es_de_bah at 12:58 PM on July 1, 2012


Giraffe (to besmirched lobster): You're a godless curr, sir, a godless curr!
Sir!
Crsuh! Crsuh! Crsuh!
Oh, curse my Gailic accent!
Giraffe collapses

posted by es_de_bah at 1:04 PM on July 1, 2012


You make my nipples grow cold.
posted by Skygazer at 1:18 PM on July 1, 2012


Crush my garlic, actor!
posted by not_on_display at 2:39 PM on July 1, 2012


Art: Lying, cheating, and stealing, all for no personal gain.
posted by snaparapans at 3:06 PM on July 1, 2012


for those of you that are alive, you're not really alive until you know that all paradises are artificial.
posted by IvoShandor at 6:27 PM on July 1, 2012


I'm back! Nevermind, I was never here.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 8:57 PM on July 1, 2012


Never here, was I never mined. Back eye!

MMMmmmmm
posted by not_on_display at 3:58 PM on July 2, 2012 [1 favorite]


Blurp.
posted by Skygazer at 2:20 AM on July 3, 2012


Dude, it's already dead, no need to beat it.
posted by likeso at 2:59 AM on July 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


MetaFilter: a sheep beaten to death with feldspar and placed in a slow-cooker for eight hours with turnips, carrots, and potatoes
posted by not_on_display at 10:11 AM on July 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


My father slaps me and I see the sun....
posted by Skygazer at 12:43 PM on July 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


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