"The noblest of all dogs is the hot-dog; it feeds the hand that bites it."
July 3, 2012 2:15 PM   Subscribe

 
Kobayashi will not be competing in tomorrow's infamous Nathan's Hot Dog Contest on Coney Island — he hasn't competed there since storming the stage and getting arrested in 2010. Instead, he will be be eating in the first-ever Crif Dog Classic in Brooklyn.

OMG! Double NYC hot dog challenge!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 2:21 PM on July 3, 2012


This seems like a good place to admire the Crif Dogs hot dog menu. With pictures!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 2:25 PM on July 3, 2012


I was all set to be really impressed, but he doesn't eat all of that _at the same time_.

Amateur.
posted by delfin at 2:25 PM on July 3, 2012


http://pbfcomics.com/182/
posted by brenton at 2:27 PM on July 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


So does he actually digest all that food, or just throw it up shortly after? Or is it more like 10 pounds of diarrhea?
posted by Pruitt-Igoe at 2:27 PM on July 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


Kobayashi still enjoys eating hot dogs in his spare time. No wet buns for him off the clock though — just mustard, relish and “sometimes a little ketchup.”

HA!
posted by Splunge at 2:30 PM on July 3, 2012 [5 favorites]


You know, I had always thought that a vomitorium was a place where Romans vomited after overeating, but that's actually a misinterpretation of the word. But, that's always what I think of when I see these kinds of spectacles, and then I wonder how much longer we can keep up these extravagances.

One in seven people suffer from malnourishment. Not this guy, though.
posted by Houstonian at 2:32 PM on July 3, 2012


Is Japan really as weird as it gets portrayed in the Anglophone world, or is it that only the really weird stuff that manages to jump the pond and get attention over here?
posted by dunkadunc at 2:32 PM on July 3, 2012


I'll plug someone else's book here -- Eat This Book: A Year of Gorging and Glory on the Competitive Eating Circuit. The author (who embedded himself in the Independent Federation of Competitive Eating to work on the book) is a little too rah-rah in explaining why exactly this is an actual sport, but when you get past that, it's a fun little ride through the minds of people who do this sort of thing.
posted by Etrigan at 2:33 PM on July 3, 2012


Seems like that the day after a Competitive Eating Contest they should hold a Competitive Pooping Contest.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 2:33 PM on July 3, 2012 [11 favorites]


This seems like a good place to admire the Crif Dogs hot dog menu. With pictures!

Oh dear, I actually have the makings for a temptee dog in my refrigerator. Be right back...
posted by Wordwoman at 2:37 PM on July 3, 2012


Competitive eating. Really.
posted by parki at 2:49 PM on July 3, 2012


Is Japan really as weird as it gets portrayed in the Anglophone world, or is it that only the really weird stuff that manages to jump the pond and get attention over here?

I can't answer that directly, but I can tell you that an old roommate of mine used to be Kobayashi's "body man" for the Nathan's contest every year, and said that the biggest part of the job was keeping the throngs of Japanese groupies from swarming him. So there's some anecdata for you.
posted by Navelgazer at 2:59 PM on July 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


Ugh, that's disgusting and not a little bit inhuman.

Seriously, peeps?
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 3:00 PM on July 3, 2012


I was at the Chicken Wing Festival in Buffalo this year for the wing eating championship. These thIngs are just nuts. Most of the competitors are slender people. How does I e disc
posted by troika at 3:26 PM on July 3, 2012


Oh thank you for that, phone.

How does one discover that they have this talent? What is the process like to enter the competitive eating field?
posted by troika at 3:27 PM on July 3, 2012


You have to train every day.
posted by tigrefacile at 3:29 PM on July 3, 2012


I saw a TV special on these guys. The fact that they are so skinny means that their stomachs have room to stretch out. They train by essentially expanding their stomachs on a regular basis.
posted by Splunge at 4:08 PM on July 3, 2012


Holy fucking shit, that's like... It's like competitive eating got all up in the pro-wrestling thing and started making the drama part of the game. LOL...
posted by symbioid at 4:08 PM on July 3, 2012


I do so really think this post should be flagged for "just not right".

What is the process like to enter the competitive eating field?

No no no I don't want these memories to well back.

So you gotta practice. At the all you can eat buffet, skip the plate, on the tray first layer a good thick layer of mashed potatoes, then just go down the line and goop on a full meal at every station, start at one corner and work across. repeat.

That's what I was told the champions did, never wanted to observe.
posted by sammyo at 4:09 PM on July 3, 2012


Competitive eating. Really.

Yes, really. I realized its existence after chancing upon a Man vs Food rerun.
posted by vidur at 4:59 PM on July 3, 2012


Why is it that competitive eaters always consume the crappiest foodstuffs?
posted by vverse23 at 6:16 PM on July 3, 2012


I'm afraid thre's a common misunderstanding at work here. What you're seeing is just the warmup heat for the competitive crapping event which follows.
posted by George_Spiggott at 6:23 PM on July 3, 2012


Why is it that competitive eaters always consume the crappiest foodstuffs?

There are some more expensive food challenges (large steaks such as the "America's Most Expensive" 120oz Steak Challenge are pretty popular), but I feel like once you're dealing with dishes over 2-3lbs, you're not going to find much more than greasy hamburgers and pizza.

And for anyone interested, FuriousPete123, a competitive eater himself, made a "Competitive Eating Seminar" video series that's actually pretty interesting.
posted by quinlan at 6:27 PM on July 3, 2012


The Wikipedia article on competitive eating is fascinating. There are different leagues! With different sets of rules! (Dunking hot dog buns in water seems to be the Designated Hitter of Major League Eating.) And weirdly specific guidelines on when a competitor is regarded as having upchucked! And everyone has these vaguely Mafia- or maybe pro-wrestling-style nicknames!

Also: In 2008, several members of a fraternity in Arizona participating in a "milk-chug" were arrested for causing a car accident after vomiting into traffic below the bridge they were competing on.

Normally when I find shit like this on Wikipedia I just shout it across the apartment to my wife, but I seriously think she would divorce my ass over this. Anecdotes about the mating habits of reptiles she's fine with, but everyone's got limits, you know?
posted by nebulawindphone at 7:24 PM on July 3, 2012


Wait, and there's a video game? What the fuck, guys?
posted by nebulawindphone at 7:27 PM on July 3, 2012


Wait, and there's a video game? What the fuck, guys?

Yup, old news.
posted by Dark Messiah at 7:30 PM on July 3, 2012


Oh man, I am way behind on my finding-stupid-things-online-and-annoying-my-wife-by-talking-about-them.
posted by nebulawindphone at 7:34 PM on July 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


How to eat hot dogs like .kobayashi.: One, maybe two. Kosher, all-beef. Diced onion. Spicy brown mustard -- never yellow. And -- this is important -- whenever possible, also grill the bun.

because I'm sure you all were wondering.
posted by .kobayashi. at 9:18 PM on July 3, 2012 [1 favorite]


I can't speak to Kobayashi, but a friend of mine is a nationally-ranked competitive eater and most of them throw up afterwards. It's not immediate (a "reversal of fortune" is grounds for disqualification) but after the results, interviews, maybe a quick talk to friends it comes out. I can't imagine how spicy hot wings would feel coming out either end though.
posted by Bunglegirl at 9:19 PM on July 3, 2012


I guess pro bulimia just isn't as marketable.
posted by mobunited at 9:41 PM on July 3, 2012


Allegation of steroid use rocks the world of competitive eating.
posted by horsewithnoname at 9:53 PM on July 3, 2012


dunkadunc: "Is Japan really as weird as it gets portrayed in the Anglophone world, or is it that only the really weird stuff that manages to jump the pond and get attention over here?"

Having lived in Japan for almost two decades, I can say that there are weird elements, but for the most part, they are way overstated by the Internet.
posted by Bugbread at 10:51 PM on July 3, 2012


Loathesome.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 11:49 PM on July 3, 2012


Kobayashi and the female eating champion, Sonya "The Black Widow" Thomas, do a commercial together.

(I posted this once before).
posted by eye of newt at 11:55 PM on July 3, 2012 [2 favorites]


Only 25 peeps?
posted by shortyJBot at 6:57 AM on July 4, 2012


Forcing down one or two peeps should be cause for a reward in itself.
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 7:14 AM on July 4, 2012


25 peeps in 30 seconds.
posted by Pruitt-Igoe at 7:29 AM on July 4, 2012


D:
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 8:37 AM on July 4, 2012


I recall reading in an interview with Sonya Thomas that being slender means you have more room to expand, as it were. Big fellas have too much pressure on their stomachs to be able to really stretch out.
posted by Jilder at 10:29 AM on July 4, 2012


Assuming these photos aren't doctored, Takera Kobayashi is about as far from a fatty as you can get.
posted by crunchland at 10:45 AM on July 4, 2012


As someone with a hiatal hernia all I can say about this is, "Ow! Fucking ow!"
posted by Splunge at 8:20 PM on July 4, 2012


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