October 23, 2001

3:48 PM

Best.
404.
Ever.
[Bear with; it's a little slow but yes it works.]
posted by louie (65 comments total)

Easily the best ever!

Sheer Genius
posted by stevridie at 3:57 PM on October 23, 2001

That's beautiful.
posted by moss at 4:00 PM on October 23, 2001

Also, there's this:

telnet://eldorado.elsewhere.org/

(login as zork)
posted by mathowie at 4:00 PM on October 23, 2001

zork commands here
posted by gazingus at 4:01 PM on October 23, 2001

You are in a twisty maze of little passages.
posted by dhartung at 4:01 PM on October 23, 2001

Corollary to this: am I wrong? I'd love to be shown a better 404. [I once saw a gallery of great 404s, but I can't find it now... anyone know where it went?]
posted by louie at 4:02 PM on October 23, 2001

That'd be plinko's site: http://www.plinko.net/404/
posted by mathowie at 4:05 PM on October 23, 2001

Making. Me. Crazy.
posted by jjg at 4:09 PM on October 23, 2001

[this is good]
Very good, actually. PHP on an error page; the possibilities are endless.
posted by tranquileye at 4:10 PM on October 23, 2001

Okay, here's the question -- for people who do not know/care about Zork, what makes this so great? Absolutely nothing. Add to the fact that as a 404 it is really useless -- it doesn't tell you where you are, how you got there, why you're there or how to get more information/help to find what you were looking for -- it doesn't serve the purpose of an error message at all. I can see why this is fun and silly and would be cute as a site feature, but the best 404? Not a chance. It can't be the best when it doesn't suit it's purpose.
posted by Dreama at 4:17 PM on October 23, 2001

hooked
posted by computerface at 4:20 PM on October 23, 2001

.. what makes this so great? Absolutely nothing.

OK: for those of us who remember the Apple IIe and Our Very First Attempts At Programming (my first real attempt was a snarky casino game), this is the Best 404 Ever because it brings us back to that Zen state, where all desire to find concrete info drifts awaaaay ...

>go west
posted by maudlin at 4:22 PM on October 23, 2001

forget >go west... too much typing. i prefer just "w" or "l"

And Dreama it is a horrible 404 page. I can't believe that they would do such a horrible thing. What would happen if customers ended up there? How would they know what to do? Where to go?

What? You say it's a personal page? A blog? In that case... lighten up. It does exactly what it and the rest of the site is supposed to do, provide entertainment. So if you consider it in the context of the site, then it is one of the best 404 pages I've seen.
posted by eyeballkid at 4:34 PM on October 23, 2001

>look: You are in a small room. The room is rocking gently. You are facing a humming box. You hear the sound of beer cans rolling on steel and Johnathan Richman singing "Route 128".
posted by skyscraper at 4:36 PM on October 23, 2001

Road Runner not Route 128. My brain has seen better days.
posted by skyscraper at 4:41 PM on October 23, 2001

oh dreama, such a sour puss...
posted by Hackworth at 4:47 PM on October 23, 2001

Oh, dear.

I think perhaps this is the game that made me nuts, and caused me to spend over an hour repeatedly attempting to use a floor waxer on a gnome (um, in the game, of course) to no avail.

Obviously, I never finished the game, and I can't for the life of me remember if it was Zork or not. Anyone care to enlighten me? Was it Zork? Was it something else? Please tell me it really happened....
posted by stefanie at 4:48 PM on October 23, 2001

dreama is totally ruining our fun.
posted by moz at 4:51 PM on October 23, 2001

How can you not love Zork? I lost many hours of my life to it, and just seeing that link made me sit back and smile.
posted by Tarrant at 4:55 PM on October 23, 2001

OK, skyscraper, that's eery -- I am in my parents' house in my old room where I have my old stereo and my older siblings' old records (yes, vinyl, gotta love it) and not 2 hours ago I was listening to The Original Modern Lovers. Man am I spooked....

Love the Zork page, too. Too cool. Never actually bothered to finish that game, though.
posted by mattpfeff at 4:56 PM on October 23, 2001

I'd never played zork (tho a nerdy friend was all into it, back in the day)...it sort of reminded me of my first game of D&D...because I got killed by a grue straight off. ::sigh::

sweet link - thanks!
posted by epersonae at 5:02 PM on October 23, 2001

I'm with Dreama on this one...harmless fun, and I'm not criticizing the link, certainly, but it just seems a bit...too niche-y for enough people to enjoy or appreciate. Glad all the nerds like it, though. ;-)
posted by davidmsc at 5:05 PM on October 23, 2001

> throw cream pie at dreama
> your pie misses
>
posted by skyscraper at 5:09 PM on October 23, 2001

JJG: Amen. Too. Cute. By. Half.
posted by rcade at 5:11 PM on October 23, 2001

moan. I can easily attribute about 50% of my current interests (computers, games, fantasy, textual studies) to Zork, Adventures 1-6, and The Dark Crystal on my badass Apple ][e. cat, brun, applebasic.. ahh the memories.
posted by xyzzy at 5:18 PM on October 23, 2001

So did those of you with Palm devices know you could run Zork on your Palm? Perfect for boring staff meetings and the like.
posted by willnot at 5:26 PM on October 23, 2001

willnot: thanks, you just lowered my production at work by 67.5% for the next week. ;)
posted by eyeballkid at 6:15 PM on October 23, 2001

so, for us youngsters (ha, I'm 33) can someone point me to a more verbose explanation than this? Like, how do I open a locked grate, or nailed door?
posted by hotdoughnutsnow at 6:23 PM on October 23, 2001

kicking door has no effect
posted by hotdoughnutsnow at 6:25 PM on October 23, 2001

all i know is i wandered around a lot, and ended up with nothing to show save a nest, a leaflet, leaves, and a jewel-encrusted egg that i couldn't eat. it's funny, because this is exactly what happened to me when i first played this years ago.
posted by lotsofno at 7:01 PM on October 23, 2001

Stefanie: It looks like the gnome and the floor waxer are from Sorceror.
posted by Yogurt at 7:09 PM on October 23, 2001

Yeah, point out that a 404 is supposed to serve a purpose that this one clearly doesn't, and I'm a sourpuss who should be pelted with pies.

>look : you are in a large room, surrounded by geeks have overdosed on themselves.
posted by Dreama at 7:26 PM on October 23, 2001

You are likely to be eaten by a grue.
posted by yerfatma at 7:27 PM on October 23, 2001

Dreama: 1
Zorks: 0
posted by Hankins at 7:30 PM on October 23, 2001

I kept trying to be eaten, but never had any success. @#%$ grues -- no sense of direction.
posted by Kikkoman at 7:34 PM on October 23, 2001

I kept trying to be eaten, but never had any success.

Perhaps they were allergic to soy sauce?
posted by yerfatma at 7:53 PM on October 23, 2001

Looks like some people missed the irony of going in the wrong direction on the internet and ending up in a role playing game in which you start out (and, for me, always remain <g>), um, lost. Any 404 can tell you where to go. The genius of this 404 is that it tells you where you are: Nowhere.
posted by dchase at 8:01 PM on October 23, 2001

Stop this thread...I want to get off!
posted by davidmsc at 8:05 PM on October 23, 2001

What? This is a wonderful thread. This is a fantastic thread. This thread is easily the best, most interesting, most discussion-promoting...
>superbrief
good thread
>
posted by j.edwards at 8:17 PM on October 23, 2001

I can't wait to wake up tomorrow morning and see what witty repartee has been added to this thread during the night
posted by vito90 at 9:23 PM on October 23, 2001

Like, how do I open a locked grate, or nailed door?

and why (oh why) is the rusty knife better for troll-killing than that neat-o sounding Elven blade?
posted by mattpfeff at 9:36 PM on October 23, 2001

This link brings back memories.
posted by EatenByAGrue at 9:47 PM on October 23, 2001

dropping the egg from atop the tree will break it open revealing a clockwork canary or somesuch.
haven't gotten any further though.
posted by juv3nal at 9:55 PM on October 23, 2001

My favorite 404.
posted by Sinner at 10:01 PM on October 23, 2001

I'm very flattered that my little hack has become so popular.

I especially like dchase's comment:

Looks like some people missed the irony of going in the wrong direction on the internet and ending up in a role playing game in which you start out (and, for me, always remain ), um, lost. Any 404 can tell you where to go. The genius of this 404 is that it tells you where you are: Nowhere.

That's exactly what the point was. It wasn't meant to be helpful. Besides, how many 404 errors are truely helpful anyway? It was designed to be a neat hack that people would find entertaining.

For the person who got stuck after wondering around for some time with little to show for it but a fancy egg: Put the egg in the trophy case in the living room for safe keeping, then try moving the rug. That's all I'll say on the matter.

And the current high scores:

Your score is 98 [total of 585 points], in 229 moves.
Your score is 84 [total of 585 points], in 570 moves.
Your score is 74 [total of 585 points], in 567 moves.

I'll work on the ability to save games, and keep track of high scores next. I don't think I am close to having to worry about what to do when someone beats the game. Though there are at least two other zorks.
posted by krux at 10:15 PM on October 23, 2001

AH HA!

posted by Hackworth at 10:29 PM on October 23, 2001

Where did the 404 page go?

I dunno, but these days when I try and load it, I get a 404 error.. :-)
posted by salmacis at 12:52 AM on October 24, 2001

You want the best 404s louie? (I need to get a life.)
posted by RichLyon at 1:39 AM on October 24, 2001

i love it
thanx :)))
posted by aureliano buendia at 4:57 AM on October 24, 2001

i have once again tried to convince myself that i'll enjoy a text adventure.

i am kidding myself. i hate them.

good idea for a 404 though.
posted by Frasermoo at 5:11 AM on October 24, 2001

Come on, who wants to wait for an error page to load? The Zork thing might be a nostalgia trip for those in on the in-joke, but an annoyance to anybody else.

Clever and useful 404's I've seen: The Motley Fool displays an error haiku (reload to see a few different versions at random). My favorite has to have been a graphic of a "Have you seen this page?" milk carton, but I don't remember where I saw it.
posted by harmful at 6:26 AM on October 24, 2001

Everytime I try to pick up the leaflet it says there isn't one here, but it's plainly in the mailbox. See this is the problem with these types of games... They're addictive and frustrating as all hell...
posted by fooljay at 8:19 AM on October 24, 2001

One Milk Carton 404 and another
posted by Carol Anne at 8:21 AM on October 24, 2001

Reference:

You are in an open field west of a big white house with a boarded front door.
There is a small mailbox here.
> open mailbox

Opening the mailbox reveals:
A leaflet.

> get leaflet
I can't see one here.

> open mailbox
Opening the mailbox reveals:
A leaflet.

> take leaflet
I can't see one here.

> open mailbox
Opening the mailbox reveals:
A leaflet.

> read leaflet
I can't see one here.

> open mailbox
Opening the mailbox reveals:
A leaflet.

> shove the fucking leaflet up your ass
I don't understand that.
posted by fooljay at 8:27 AM on October 24, 2001

Wow. That telnet link was way cool.

I made it through Zorks I-III. After that, someone gave me A Mind Forever Voyaging, and I took one look at that decoder wheel thingy and ended my relationship with that particular game. Sorceror also was too hard for my cole-slaw-like brain. I remember being caught at a point early in the game where my oxygen was running out and I had to press the right buttons in the right sequence on this chest...which I could never do.

I eventually admitted my text-based incompetence and played games like Wishbringer, which your average potato could solve relatively quickly, and which came with a nifty plastic rock.

And don't even talk to me about the Hitchhiker's game.

Click.

Whir.
posted by Kafkaesque at 9:16 AM on October 24, 2001

Okay, it seems to be, perhaps a browser problem.

The above transcript was done in Opera.
Waxy said it worked for him in IE.
I tried it in IE, and I was able to take the leaflet.
He tried it in Opera and he was able to take the leaflet.
I tried it in Opera and no dice.

Now what in the hell does your browser have to do with a response from a PHP script??! BAD dog. BAD DOG!
posted by fooljay at 11:00 AM on October 24, 2001

fooljay..

As for it not working in Opera, perhaps it's not maintaining the session because cookies were turned off?

I'll download Opera and give it a try.

harmful..

Well normally you wouldn't have to wait, but I'm getting anywhere from 200-300 unique people active on the site every ten minutes. That wouldn't be bad, but I'm hosting this off my server in the downstairs closet which uses a DSL modem with a 384K upload speed. The traffic I have received in the past 48 hours days has exceeded what I typically see in a record month.
posted by krux at 2:13 PM on October 24, 2001

Ok tried netscape 4.7, Netscape 6.1, and Opera 5.1

Worked in each. Looks best in IE 5.5. Not that I like m$ but I have admitted, reluctantly, that it's generally the better browser. Mozilla, Netscape 6.1 look almost perfect, with a minor alignment issue. I used CSS to change the look of the input field so it's not shown. A shame that isn't supported on every browser.

Since it was just a quick hack, I didn't do my usual regression testing of every browser to ensure the page looks perfect. My fault.
posted by krux at 2:28 PM on October 24, 2001

worked fine for me when i tried it (opera 5.12)
posted by lotsofno at 3:25 PM on October 24, 2001

Yep, you know what, I now remember that I set Opera to refuse cookies from the server because they were served up on every page load and I have Opera display all of my cookies. Got to be quite annoying.

Fortunately, sites rarely use cookies for session state, which is why I usually don't think twice about refusing all cookies from a site. Sites that serve them up on every page load usually do so for advertising purposes.

Anyway, pretty cool once you automatically accept cookies... Now I've switched back. Thanks for the amusement.
posted by fooljay at 6:55 PM on October 24, 2001

Hey Dreama, how did it feel when they removed the joy from your life?
posted by solistrato at 7:50 PM on October 24, 2001

Ok.. you can now SAVE and RESTORE.

Spiffy.
posted by krux at 11:13 AM on October 25, 2001

Help! I'm stuck
You are on a small beach on the continuation of the Frigid River past the falls. The beach is narrow due to the presence of the white cliffs. The river canyon opens here, and sunlight shines in from above. A rainbow crosses over the falls to the west, and a narrow path continues to the southeast.
> go west
You can't go that way.
> go north
You can't go that way.
> go south
You can't go that way.
> go east
You can't go that way.
> go southeast
Huh?
posted by nprigoda at 1:06 PM on October 25, 2001

se = southeast
posted by krux at 9:43 AM on October 26, 2001