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Sex In the Olympic Village
July 13, 2012 12:17 PM   Subscribe

Sex In The Olympic Village. Breaking -- world's buffest bodies in biannual bacchanal.
posted by zipadee (94 comments total) 13 users marked this as a favorite

 
If Hope Solo ever bangs John Terry I'm renouncing my American citizenship.
posted by josher71 at 12:18 PM on July 13, 2012 [4 favorites]


bangs John Terry

Read that as John Kerry and I'm outta here.
posted by saturday_morning at 12:23 PM on July 13, 2012


Look without photos I'm not sure I can judge the quality nature of this biannual bacchanal.
posted by The Whelk at 12:24 PM on July 13, 2012 [15 favorites]


There are plenty of turkish oil wrestling photos making the tumblr rounds if you're interested.
posted by elizardbits at 12:26 PM on July 13, 2012


One can only hope that the Olympic ring condom picture is being posted all over every venue.
posted by Burhanistan at 12:27 PM on July 13, 2012


Young athletes in amazing physical condition blow off steam after 4 years of training by having sex? I'm shocked.
posted by COD at 12:27 PM on July 13, 2012 [7 favorites]


I thought they just gathered round and played Perquackey.
posted by mazola at 12:32 PM on July 13, 2012


And yet another reason for (undersexed, overstressed, out-of-shape) Londoners to hate the Olympics.

It kind of reminds me of being really behind all the AI civilizations in Civ II and being invited to "gape in awe" at tech developments your puny society has been unable to come up with. It's going to be the all-humiliation show, with added Boris Johnson tannoys.
posted by Sonny Jim at 12:32 PM on July 13, 2012 [3 favorites]


From what I've heard from multiple people who volunteered at the Atlanta Games back in 96, the Olympic Village ran out of condoms on the second day of the Games and had to have a resupply trucked in. In the meanwhile, delegations were sending runners to go clean out every drugstore inside the Perimeter (285, the ring road that surrounds Atlanta.) You couldn't buy a condom in this city for weeks after the Games ended.
posted by deadmessenger at 12:34 PM on July 13, 2012 [8 favorites]


"The next morning," Lakatos says, "swear to God, the entire women's 4x100 relay team of some Scandinavian-looking country walks out of the house, followed by boys from our side. And I'm just going, 'Holy crap, we'd watched these girls run the night before.'"

Good lord, that's a descriptive image.
posted by KokuRyu at 12:35 PM on July 13, 2012


It kind of reminds me of being really behind all the AI civilizations in Civ II and being invited to "gape in awe" at tech developments your puny society has been unable to come up with.

The fact that I thought the same thing kind of shows why you and I were not invited to this particular party . . .
posted by Think_Long at 12:36 PM on July 13, 2012 [10 favorites]


Every (two to) four years, this story.
posted by penduluum at 12:37 PM on July 13, 2012 [21 favorites]


So what is the easiest thing to compete in and is there any chance we can get video games added ? After days of sex with buff young guys some of them must be looking for a change of pace with a balding chubby pretty much middle aged guy, ya know, for variety.
posted by Ad hominem at 12:37 PM on July 13, 2012 [7 favorites]


Oh great. And now there's a fucking RN Lynx helicopter (or is it a Gazelle? Can't tell) circling overhead at 1000'. I bet it's scouting the Trafalgar Road area for condom supplies for Stratford. Those oiled-up, übermenschy bastards.
posted by Sonny Jim at 12:39 PM on July 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


This article gets trotted out every time there is an Olympics and like a bad madlibs the dates and names are changed.

There's nothing new or worthy here.
posted by cjorgensen at 12:39 PM on July 13, 2012 [6 favorites]


There is nothing wrong about trotting out stories about Finnish highjumpers having sex.
posted by KokuRyu at 12:40 PM on July 13, 2012 [21 favorites]


ESPN's Bodies We Want 2012, 2011, 2010, 2009 (NSFW)
posted by crunchland at 12:40 PM on July 13, 2012 [5 favorites]


Maybe the Tosh thread and Penn State have made me jaded, but all I could think was that I really, really hope we never read a follow-up about any coerced sex happening in the Olympic village...
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 12:41 PM on July 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


Okay, I'm curious about the math here.
Then, at the 2000 Sydney Games, 70,000 condoms wasn't enough, prompting a second order of 20,000 and a new standing order of 100,000 condoms per Olympics.
There were 6,582 men and 4,069 women at the 2000 Sydney games, for 10,651 total. The games themselves lasted 16 days, but the article says the athletes move in a week before the games begin, so call it 23 days.

They went through about 3,913 condoms per day on average. There were only 4,069 women at the games…
posted by ob1quixote at 12:43 PM on July 13, 2012 [2 favorites]


There's nothing new or worthy here.

Agreed. While not literally a double, it's really not new.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 12:44 PM on July 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


That math isn't too surprising for me. At that age I can see the usage for the ones who want some sexy time being 1+/day. Add in that these people are likely to not want to mess around without protection so you'll also have a pretty high usage rate and boom, you got those numbers.
posted by RolandOfEld at 12:45 PM on July 13, 2012


There's nothing new or worthy here.

Some stories never get old.
posted by zipadee at 12:47 PM on July 13, 2012 [4 favorites]


So, it's a lot like a Ren Faire/Con/SCA but with people who regularly work out?
posted by Foam Pants at 12:48 PM on July 13, 2012 [2 favorites]


Plus people are probably going home with some comdoms still in their possession... I'm not saying their cheap and enjoy ripping off the games but with the FP posts I've seen recently about some sports athletes being broke as a joke it's not inconceivable either. That and I can see someone grabbing a handful and leaving with 1/2 a handful unused. Who knows?
posted by RolandOfEld at 12:48 PM on July 13, 2012


*their = they're. I blame the allergy meds.
posted by RolandOfEld at 12:49 PM on July 13, 2012


Best olympic logo ever.
posted by chundo at 12:49 PM on July 13, 2012 [2 favorites]


Many liken it to a high school cafeteria, "except everyone's beautiful," says Julie Foudy, who has two golds and one silver from playing soccer in three Olympics and is now an analyst for ESPN. "We'd graze over our food for hours watching all the eye candy, wondering why I got married."

A proud day for Mr. Foudy to be sure.
posted by BigHeartedGuy at 12:49 PM on July 13, 2012 [15 favorites]


I was about to swear I read a story about this exact same thing in the Olympics four years ago, but then I RTFA:

But the image of a celibate Games began to flicker in '92 when it was reported that the Games' organizers had ordered in prophylactics like pizza. Then, at the 2000 Sydney Games, 70,000 condoms wasn't enough, prompting a second order of 20,000 and a new standing order of 100,000 condoms per Olympics..

Yeah.
posted by exogenous at 12:49 PM on July 13, 2012 [2 favorites]


It occurred to me that one must presume not all the athletes are straight, but still that seems to me like a high ratio of athletes to condoms per day.
posted by ob1quixote at 12:49 PM on July 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


They went through about 3,913 condoms per day on average. There were only 4,069 women at the games…

Both the men and women are peak physical specimens. They could probably do it 3 times in the morning, do a race and 3 more at night. Throw in another 2 times, just because a breeze kicked up, and yes, truckloads of condoms makes sense.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:51 PM on July 13, 2012 [2 favorites]


Considering how many of these athletes are in their late teens/early 20s, I kind of find it frankly ridiculous to assume that they were using only one condom per day.
posted by elizardbits at 12:52 PM on July 13, 2012 [7 favorites]


Agreed. While not literally a double, it's really not new.

16 year old Greg Louganis cuddling in the lap of a Russian diver isn't new? Seriously, the general story has become a perennial over the last decade but they got a whole lot of athletes to go on the record with colorful anecdotes in this one...certainly by far the most detailed version of this story I've seen.
posted by zipadee at 12:53 PM on July 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


Ooh man this is an awesome bit of trivia... "How many condoms do you think they order at the Olympics?"
posted by odinsdream at 12:54 PM on July 13, 2012


Jeez. You guys really know how to take the fun out of getting a giggle out of the fact that 10,651 people went through 90,000 condoms in 23 days.
posted by ob1quixote at 12:55 PM on July 13, 2012 [9 favorites]


Statistically the odds are against this next hypothetical question, but here goes--

How many accidental conceptions leading to pregnancy have there been over the last decade of Olympic events despite heavy prophylactic usage?

It's not a terribly interesting question, but one worth finding out I think.
posted by PipRuss at 1:01 PM on July 13, 2012 [2 favorites]


I bet some of them start doping not for the events, but for the exhausting sex marathons.
posted by Ad hominem at 1:03 PM on July 13, 2012


You guys really know how to take the fun out of getting a giggle out of the fact that 10,651 people went through 90,000 condoms in 23 days.

A large number of mostly extremely attractive people who are also generally extremely fit and healthy had, on average, sex every other day for slightly more than three weeks!

THIS IS SHOCKING TO ME
posted by mightygodking at 1:05 PM on July 13, 2012 [3 favorites]


They went through about 3,913 condoms per day on average. There were only 4,069 women at the games…

I think in addition to general souvnir gathering, you also have to factor in trainers, staff, friends, groupies, etc.
posted by billyfleetwood at 1:09 PM on July 13, 2012


One summer, I worked for a family on their farm and doing handyman work at their house in the city. The wife was an ice-skating trainer. For one week, they played host to a mixed-gender bus-load of competitive ice skaters...all in their late teens-early 20's. Peak physical specimens, every one of them. And the horniest, dirtiest, randiest pile of people I had ever met. I'm not sure there was a single one of them that wasn't banging all the rest. It was quite an eye-opener.
posted by Thorzdad at 1:12 PM on July 13, 2012 [2 favorites]


Metafilter: oiled-up, übermenschy bastards
posted by Billiken at 1:12 PM on July 13, 2012 [2 favorites]


Faster, Higher, Stronger?
posted by Luddite at 1:13 PM on July 13, 2012 [3 favorites]


They went through about 3,913 condoms per day on average. There were only 4,069 women at the games…

I think in addition to general souvnir gathering, you also have to factor in trainers, staff, friends, groupies, etc.


Also, some people like to double up.
posted by ultraviolet catastrophe at 1:15 PM on July 13, 2012



Look without photos I'm not sure I can judge the quality nature of this biannual bacchanal.


You made me spit apple all over my desk. Thanks.
posted by Sayuri. at 1:16 PM on July 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


I say, let the Olympians fuck!

LET THEM FUCK!
posted by vibrotronica at 1:18 PM on July 13, 2012 [4 favorites]


One summer, I worked for a family on their farm and doing handyman work at their house in the city.

Wait, I think I know the punchline.
posted by goethean at 1:20 PM on July 13, 2012 [3 favorites]


If you have a better idea of how to make new Olympians, I'd like to hear it.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 1:21 PM on July 13, 2012 [13 favorites]


Oh man, this is a perfect Fermi estimation style problem!

Let's see. We have about 10,000 athletes. Maybe about 1/2 of them have partners already, so that makes for 15,000 people. Assuming that each sexual act takes 2 people (I know, I know), that's 7,500 couples. Let's eliminate about 1,500 who don't sex it up during the games or only sex it up once or twice (older married folks like Federer, etc.), leaving 5,000 couples. If they use protection 70% of the time (I think it's a fair estimate, some couples are married and won't use protection, more will use it every time since they are top-class athletes who treat their bodies well), that's .7*5000 = 3500 couples using protection with every sex act. If you average 3 sex acts every 2 days for 23 days for every such couple (pretty reasonable, Nadal may be too tired after a 5-hour match to sex it up in the evening, Carmelo might whoop it up one night, etc.), that's

3500*1.5*23 = 120,750 condoms needed.

I got the right order of magnitude, so I win! We should also assume some folks bring their own condoms because they might have a latex allergy or a preferred brand or something. 100,000 condoms sounds like quite a reasonable number.
posted by King Bee at 1:25 PM on July 13, 2012 [2 favorites]


How many accidental conceptions leading to pregnancy have there been over the last decade of Olympic events despite heavy prophylactic usage?

Considering what a pregnancy would do to an athletic career, I'd imagine not very many.
posted by atrazine at 1:26 PM on July 13, 2012


"As far as best bodies, it's swimmers and water polo players, because that's an insane workout.

Welp, time to hit the pool.
posted by the man of twists and turns at 1:26 PM on July 13, 2012


One summer, I worked for a family on their farm and doing handyman work at their house in the city.

Wait, I think I know the punchline.
He fixes the Cable?
posted by Sonny Jim at 1:29 PM on July 13, 2012 [5 favorites]


He fixes the Cable?

Don't be fatuous, Jeffrey.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 1:42 PM on July 13, 2012 [10 favorites]


100,000 condoms sounds like quite a reasonable number.

We need to factor in the fact that Ryan Giggs will be competing at these games, though.
posted by Infinite Jest at 1:44 PM on July 13, 2012 [4 favorites]


This is a fake stolen sex tape scandal waiting to happen --- and a potentially lucrative one.
posted by goethean at 1:46 PM on July 13, 2012


We need to factor in the fact that Ryan Giggs will be competing at these games, though.

I think that's more of a concern for shaving supplies.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 1:47 PM on July 13, 2012


This article gets trotted out every time there is an Olympics and like a bad madlibs the dates and names are changed.

There's nothing new or worthy here.


I wanna know what was going on in Athens back when women weren't allowed because they weren't considered beautiful enough specimens of the human body, to either watch or compete.
posted by infini at 1:48 PM on July 13, 2012


Grace Dent, meanwhile, has been providing a sterling service in mapping potential patterns in condom usage over the next three weeks.
posted by Sonny Jim at 1:53 PM on July 13, 2012


The swimmers are the worst (best?). Their events go first. Then they just hang out.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 1:55 PM on July 13, 2012


I'd love to read the gay specific version of this. Purely for sociological research, of course.
posted by Nelson at 2:03 PM on July 13, 2012


Purely and absolutely
posted by The Whelk at 2:04 PM on July 13, 2012


Weird, I just read a pretty good short story about sex in the Olympic Village
posted by sibboleth at 2:10 PM on July 13, 2012 [3 favorites]


Male gymnasts? "They are like lovable little Ewoks," Kintner says.

um, how tantalizing.
posted by Bwithh at 2:10 PM on July 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


I seem to recall the last time this story made the rounds that a lot of these condoms were being picked up by athletes as souvenirs. They're free, and I think they may be specially packaged as Olympic village condoms (gold, silver and bronze!), so it's not surprising that everyone would snag the occasional handful to bring home.

Not that there aren't sexytimes going on, but using the rate at which condoms disappear might overstate the magnitude a bit.
posted by figurant at 2:13 PM on July 13, 2012 [2 favorites]


Male gymnasts? "They are like lovable little Ewoks," Kintner says.

um, how tantalizing.


yub . . . nub . . . yub . . . nub. . . yubnub . . yubnub. . . . . yubnubyubnubyubnubyubnub . . . YUBNUBBBBBBBBBB . . . yub . . nuuuuuuuuuuuubb. . .
posted by Think_Long at 2:18 PM on July 13, 2012 [10 favorites]


I just want to point out that I was reading Glamour magazine in the bath and there was a picture of an American judo player who is SIX FOOT EIGHT. I'm five ten and it's hard enough managing to stand up on a London bus.
posted by mippy at 3:01 PM on July 13, 2012


I'd love to read the gay specific version of this. Purely for sociological research, of course.

Tom Daley is apparently a bit of a gay icon - you can probably find a fictional version somewhere. I once came across a website that was entirely gay fanfiction (if that's the right term for real people) about Premiership footballers, so it wouldn't surprise me.
posted by mippy at 3:02 PM on July 13, 2012


That site contained the phrase "his new sex friend Joey Barton", which is not an image anyone frankly wants or needs.
posted by mippy at 3:03 PM on July 13, 2012 [4 favorites]


I think they may be specially packaged as Olympic village condoms (gold, silver and bronze!)

How Olympic dates go horribly, horribly wrong: "Oh, so I'm only a bronze to you, am I?!"
posted by BigHeartedGuy at 3:07 PM on July 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


I wonder if the handball players are more into solo pursuits?
posted by orme at 3:20 PM on July 13, 2012 [2 favorites]


There's nothing new or worthy here.

Come again?
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 3:24 PM on July 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


How Olympic dates go horribly, horribly wrong: "Oh, so I'm only a bronze to you, am I?!"

I imagine the language barriers help with that not being as much an issue.

Also, those ESPN photos are the most insane antithesis to the horrible bad USOC photos everyone was complaining about a bit ago. Huh.
posted by disillusioned at 3:31 PM on July 13, 2012


Breaking -- world's buffest bodies in biannual bacchanal.

Are they really biannual or just biannual-curious?
posted by BrotherCaine at 3:33 PM on July 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


Well, now the Yub Nub song will always be about orgasms.
posted by Burhanistan at 3:41 PM on July 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


If that be my only lasting tribute to our culture, I shall die pleased.
posted by Think_Long at 3:43 PM on July 13, 2012 [2 favorites]


Amongst the medallists, I wonder who gets em most sex? I mean the obvious answer is the gold medal winners, but I imagine some of the ladies out there would prefer a silver medallist. I mean, they've proven that they can come second.
posted by tim_in_oz at 4:11 PM on July 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


Metafilter: the horniest, dirtiest, randiest pile of people I had ever met.
posted by sneebler at 4:52 PM on July 13, 2012


Damnit, they should be having competitive sex in public if they actually want people to care about the Olympic Games.

Especially the curlers. HURRY HARD!
posted by loquacious at 4:55 PM on July 13, 2012


How would you judge competitive sex, duration? Positions? Volume? artistic merit?
posted by The Whelk at 5:00 PM on July 13, 2012


Sticking the dismount.
posted by We had a deal, Kyle at 5:10 PM on July 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


How many accidental conceptions leading to pregnancy have there been over the last decade of Olympic events despite heavy prophylactic usage?

Hmm, you could conceivably create an Olympian breeding program this way.
posted by homunculus at 5:42 PM on July 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


Well, you know, it's a game of inches...
posted by the sobsister at 6:23 PM on July 13, 2012


5.9 5.9 5.8 5.7 5.8 4.6

-judges shtup by ex-lover.
posted by vozworth at 6:42 PM on July 13, 2012


Winter olympics, Russia, 2014.
Curling.

Rawr.
posted by _dario at 8:07 PM on July 13, 2012


One summer, I worked for a family on their farm and doing handyman work at their house in the city.

You forgot; Dear Penthouse Forum,
posted by bongo_x at 8:07 PM on July 13, 2012 [1 favorite]


Toe curling, eh?
posted by Burhanistan at 8:14 PM on July 13, 2012


Remove the prophylactics and you have the greatest peacetime eugenics experiment in human history
posted by Renoroc at 9:46 PM on July 13, 2012


Can someone please just take the wealth of details of here and turn it into some quality 1st person erotic literature? Thanks!
posted by victory_laser at 1:57 AM on July 14, 2012 [1 favorite]


That site contained the phrase "his new sex friend Joey Barton", which is not an image anyone frankly wants or needs.

Why? Why would anyone write that? Why? I mean, Olaf Melberg or Owen Hargreaves or Giggs or Beckham, sure....but Barton? No.
posted by Infinite Jest at 2:42 AM on July 14, 2012


I wonder if the handball players are more into solo pursuits?

Not necessarily...
posted by GeorgeBickham at 6:42 AM on July 14, 2012


The site doesn't exist anymore on the internet it seems (and now I might have to explain to my boyfriend why I was googling 'erotic Joey Barton') so I suppose we shall never know.
posted by mippy at 3:38 PM on July 14, 2012


you can probably find a fictional version somewhere. I once came across a website that was entirely gay fanfiction (if that's the right term for real people) about Premiership footballers, so it wouldn't surprise me.

Mippy the terminology you are looking for is RPS (real person slash).
And do I hate that I know that? Yes.


For people who want more Sex in their Olympics I gift thee Year Of The Sex Olympics. Too hot TV! All sex, all the time!
posted by Mezentian at 6:30 PM on July 14, 2012 [1 favorite]


They're not allowed to do drugs, overeat, smoke, or drink too much. They're young, fit , away from home. And under stress. What else can they do? Learn the banjo?
posted by emjaybee at 11:00 PM on July 14, 2012


Well, they could focus on winning the medals that we, as taxpayers (in most of the developed nations, I assume) fork out hundreds of thousands of dollars for their training each year so we (as a nation) can feel good about ourselves (as a nation) for 10 minutes.
posted by Mezentian at 4:12 AM on July 15, 2012


I am sorry, I was too busy 'closing the deal' to close that bold tag.
posted by Mezentian at 4:13 AM on July 15, 2012


Well, they could focus on winning the medals that we, as taxpayers (in most of the developed nations, I assume) fork out hundreds of thousands of dollars for their training each year so we (as a nation) can feel good about ourselves (as a nation) for 10 minutes.

Amateur sports deserve support just as the arts do. Whether or not we "taxpayers" pay (a very meager amount) for their training has nothing to do with whether or not athletes want to shag in their private time, off the clock.
posted by KokuRyu at 11:31 AM on July 15, 2012 [5 favorites]


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