the lengths people will goat to
July 24, 2012 7:24 AM   Subscribe

Man in goat suit seen living among goats in Utah mountains.
posted by flapjax at midnite (159 comments total) 32 users marked this as a favorite

 
This will end ba-a-a-dly.
posted by Eyebeams at 7:27 AM on July 24, 2012 [29 favorites]


but it is believed he could just be an extreme wildlife enthusiast

what
posted by elizardbits at 7:27 AM on July 24, 2012 [11 favorites]


You don't usually see furries with that level of commitment.
posted by mhoye at 7:27 AM on July 24, 2012 [59 favorites]


Wait! That's my da-a-a-ad!
posted by Floydd at 7:28 AM on July 24, 2012 [4 favorites]


This person puts on a goat suit, he changes the game.

Tagline for the movie that would finally convince me to go back to a movie theater again.
posted by Wolfdog at 7:28 AM on July 24, 2012 [60 favorites]


He worries the goat man . . . could be attacked by a real goat.

"They may get agitated. They're territorial. They are, after all, wild animals," he said. "This person puts on a goat suit, he changes the game. But as long as he accepts responsibility, it's not illegal."


Coming soon to a theater near you, the riveting, gritty new Werner Herzog documentary, Billygoat Man.
posted by FelliniBlank at 7:29 AM on July 24, 2012 [13 favorites]


Fucking people. Fucking goatpeople.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 7:31 AM on July 24, 2012 [4 favorites]


Yet more marginalization of hircine-Americans.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 7:32 AM on July 24, 2012 [7 favorites]


Leave him alone. As far as I can tell, he's done mutton wrong.
posted by ColdChef at 7:34 AM on July 24, 2012 [39 favorites]


Rock on, dude in a goat suit. Rock on.
posted by jillithd at 7:34 AM on July 24, 2012 [6 favorites]


Upping the stakes for "keeping it real" since 2012.
posted by Aquaman at 7:34 AM on July 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


I look forward to the footage of Werner Herzog in headphones listening to a recording of this guy being annoyingly chewed on.
posted by griphus at 7:36 AM on July 24, 2012 [10 favorites]


spotted the person dressed like a goat among a herd of realgoats

I'm sorry, I consider myself an open-minded as the next freak, but the sex toy industry has crossed a line here.
posted by yerfatma at 7:36 AM on July 24, 2012 [49 favorites]


I think he's on the lamb.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 7:36 AM on July 24, 2012 [38 favorites]


He kids!
posted by jontyjago at 7:37 AM on July 24, 2012 [8 favorites]


Utah solves its 'goat man' mystery.
posted by doublesix at 7:38 AM on July 24, 2012 [12 favorites]


Bill Hicks Lives!!!
posted by PeterMcDermott at 7:38 AM on July 24, 2012 [2 favorites]


this is really milking it
posted by fistynuts at 7:39 AM on July 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


I'm not certain how this will Pan out.
posted by Slap*Happy at 7:39 AM on July 24, 2012 [42 favorites]


"... spotted the person dressed like a goat among a herd of realgoats."

I want "realgoats" to be part of our dystopian future realspeak describing oneworldgovt deniers.
posted by clvrmnky at 7:40 AM on July 24, 2012 [12 favorites]


A man spotted dressed in a goat suit among a herd of wild goats in the mountains of northern Utah has wildlife officials worried he could be in danger as hunting season approaches.

we'd better, say, run an article about it in a major newspaper, rather than talk to the guy.
posted by camdan at 7:42 AM on July 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


Leave him alone. As far as I can tell, he's done mutton wrong.

It behooves us to let him be himself.
posted by carter at 7:42 AM on July 24, 2012 [4 favorites]


Fucking people. Fucking goatpeople.

"Fucking people fucking goatpeople" would be a greater problem. We would soon be awash in people/goatpeople hybrids. That can't be good.
posted by GenjiandProust at 7:43 AM on July 24, 2012 [4 favorites]


Utah solves its 'goat man' mystery.

While there's still penetration involved, at least he isn't looking to hook up with some doe and raise a couple of kids. Though his plan of testing his goat suit in Utah because the goats are easier to get near may result in some false positives.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 7:44 AM on July 24, 2012


Also, dude, goatman is not the preferred nomenclature. Caprican-American, please.
posted by theodolite at 7:45 AM on July 24, 2012 [44 favorites]


Dammit, flapjax, you beat me to it!
posted by computech_apolloniajames at 7:45 AM on July 24, 2012


The man told Mr. Douglass he was preparing for an archery hunt of mountain goats next year and testing a goat suit. Mr. Douglass says the hunter came to Utah because he heard it was easier to get near goats for training.

Yes... but a bow and arrow is a distance weapon. How close does he need to be to take down a goat? And does this mean Utah goats stupider than goats in other states? Maybe they're just tolerating him until he falls asleep. Then they'll have him for dinner.
posted by zarq at 7:46 AM on July 24, 2012


Wait! That's my da-a-a-ad!

Well then tell him to quit shagging the nanny.
posted by MuffinMan at 7:47 AM on July 24, 2012 [13 favorites]


Utah, where men are men and the goats know it. Wait.. Utah, where men are goats and the goats know it. Wait.. oh never mind.
posted by netbros at 7:47 AM on July 24, 2012


I thought I was reading the Onion there for a minute.
posted by blaneyphoto at 7:49 AM on July 24, 2012 [2 favorites]


Please tell me his name is George Giles.
posted by drlith at 7:49 AM on July 24, 2012 [3 favorites]


Is it just me, or is anyone else actually a tiny bit disappointed that it's just "guy testing out a goat disguise" rather than some far weirder "dude is a totally barking-mad goat fan"?
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:49 AM on July 24, 2012 [40 favorites]


Yes... but a bow and arrow is a distance weapon. How close does he need to be to take down a goat?

The hooves mess with his aim.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 7:51 AM on July 24, 2012 [5 favorites]


I appreciate that the article makes multiple attempts to point out that the actions of this man are, in fact, not illegal.
posted by LSK at 7:51 AM on July 24, 2012 [6 favorites]


Technically it is just a guy CLAIMING to be testing out a goat disguise.
posted by elizardbits at 7:51 AM on July 24, 2012 [20 favorites]


we'd better, say, run an article about it in a major newspaper, rather than talk to the guy.

Well, it's possible that the guy only called them up to explain what he was doing because he read about it in the paper.

And if this was illegal? Then he wouldn't have called them. There's a subtle reason not to make all kinds of things illegal if you can help it right there.
posted by JHarris at 7:52 AM on July 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


Honestly I think it is Tao Lin.
posted by elizardbits at 7:52 AM on July 24, 2012 [14 favorites]


Also, dude, goatman is not the preferred nomenclature. Caprican-American, please.

Hey! As a citizen of Caprica, I take offense at th
posted by griphus at 7:54 AM on July 24, 2012 [10 favorites]


Wild Animus (link to Read It And Weep podcast review of a "book" featuring an acid tripping goat empowered protagonist)
posted by robocop is bleeding at 7:54 AM on July 24, 2012


He should have tried this in Italy.
posted by elgilito at 7:55 AM on July 24, 2012 [3 favorites]


John Darnielle, is that you?!
posted by jeudi at 7:55 AM on July 24, 2012 [7 favorites]


How close does he need to be to take down a goat?

make all you nannies turn your heads around
then I'm gonna take you little goats, gonna take you right on down...

-Hoochie Coochie Goat
posted by flapjax at midnite at 7:56 AM on July 24, 2012


griphus: " Hey! As a citizen of Caprica, I take offense at th"

END OF LINE
posted by zarq at 7:56 AM on July 24, 2012 [7 favorites]


Oh-ho-lady-o-delay-ho
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 7:57 AM on July 24, 2012 [2 favorites]


I think he should have ruminated on his plan a bit more.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 8:00 AM on July 24, 2012 [8 favorites]


I like the map on that story which is just a big green square with a marker in the center of it. Thanks for putting that in context for me!
posted by DU at 8:00 AM on July 24, 2012 [13 favorites]


it's just "guy testing out a goat disguise" rather than some far weirder "dude is a totally barking-mad goat fan"?

These are far from exclusive.
posted by DU at 8:01 AM on July 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


Someone oughta dress up like a troll and jump out from behind stuff and ask him riddles when he's hunting.
posted by resurrexit at 8:02 AM on July 24, 2012 [40 favorites]


There have been so many "one-link news of the weird" posts that have been rightly deleted on MetaFilter, it's great to finally see the one that really raises the bar.
posted by Curious Artificer at 8:04 AM on July 24, 2012


Someone oughta dress up like a troll and jump out from behind stuff and ask him riddles when he's hunting.

Hey, I can think of a couple people here at Mefi who could do that, and they'd just have to wear their usual clothes!
posted by flapjax at midnite at 8:05 AM on July 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


MORE LIKE RAISES THE BA AMIRITE!?
posted by robocop is bleeding at 8:05 AM on July 24, 2012 [5 favorites]


it's great to finally see the one that really raises the bar.

The bar? No, no, that's "ba-a-a-aar"
posted by flapjax at midnite at 8:06 AM on July 24, 2012


Goats are not sheep, y'all. Goat meat is not mutton. And they do not give birth to lambs.

/farmgirlrant
posted by catch as catch can at 8:07 AM on July 24, 2012 [29 favorites]


¡Viva El Cabron!
posted by Mister_A at 8:07 AM on July 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


Apparently he's just a bow hunter trying out some sort of costume for hunting.
posted by KokuRyu at 8:07 AM on July 24, 2012


No! He is a superhero! He is El Cabron!
posted by Mister_A at 8:08 AM on July 24, 2012 [8 favorites]


Maybe he was inspired by the other video on the blue where sheep and police dogs looked like sexay ladays.
posted by ian1977 at 8:08 AM on July 24, 2012


However, the story does remind me of some sort of Fortean swamp monster... I seem to recall there was some sort of monster in the American south that lives in swamps and looks like a humanoid goat, but I Googling brings up nothing.
posted by KokuRyu at 8:09 AM on July 24, 2012


I am sadly disappointed to find out this man is a hunter. You see, I have a problem. I'm goat-enamored (in a non-sexual way). I am one of the aforementioned goatpeople. Have you ever spent any real time with goats? They are the coolest critters on earth, clomping around lookin' like they're wearing platform shoes, with their rectangular pupils and their grass breath and their tails that they wag like dogs and their freaky ability to problem-solve by putting their mouth on everything and thinkin' real hard about it.

But, weirdly, farmers don't react well you when you ask if you can just go sit in their goat pen and hang out for a while. So when I read this, I thought, "AHA!" Goat suits were my next step in my quest for maximum goat-exposure. I'd just have to make sure I didn't do it in rutting season. And he's a hunter... sigh. Such a waste of Quality Goat Time.

I'm gonna be the crazy goat lady someday.
posted by WidgetAlley at 8:09 AM on July 24, 2012 [15 favorites]


/farmgirlrant

Ignore their imprecision. I suspect they are just trying to get your goat.
posted by GenjiandProust at 8:10 AM on July 24, 2012 [16 favorites]


I'm actually pitching this to RKO pictures. I'm calling it The Men Who Stare at Goats for too Long and Discover That When You Stare Into the Goat the Goat Stares Back, Sometimes Turning You Into a Goat-Human Hybrid.
posted by Mister_A at 8:11 AM on July 24, 2012 [8 favorites]


Goats are not sheep, y'all. Goat meat is not mutton. And they do not give birth to lambs.

Goat tell it on a mountain
over the hills, and everywhere
goat tell it on a mountain
to let goat people goat
posted by flapjax at midnite at 8:13 AM on July 24, 2012 [3 favorites]


Mares eat oats and does eat oats and little lambs eat ivy, but I don't know what the fuck the goat man eats.
posted by octobersurprise at 8:13 AM on July 24, 2012 [12 favorites]


I just hope he's not putting himself at risk for cancer.
posted by Shoggoth at 8:13 AM on July 24, 2012


"I'm just a bow hunter testing out a billy goat costume," he said gruffly.
posted by me3dia at 8:13 AM on July 24, 2012 [7 favorites]


Goats are not sheep, y'all.

They do make a sound remarkably like "baaa" though.

I'd put all the other errors down to MeFites likely having a better familiarity with poorly-constructed goat costumes than actual goats. I don't know if that's good or bad.
posted by DU at 8:14 AM on July 24, 2012


"... with their rectangular pupils ..."

Wow. I learned something new today. And octopuses have them, too!
posted by jillithd at 8:14 AM on July 24, 2012


OH, I'M ACTING THE GOAT, AM I?
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 8:14 AM on July 24, 2012 [8 favorites]


The Incredibly Mixed-Up Hunter Who Donned a Goat-Skin Disguise
posted by Mister_A at 8:20 AM on July 24, 2012


I wonder if the goats were in any way fooled, or simply ignoring the jackass in the goat outfit.
posted by Mooski at 8:23 AM on July 24, 2012 [4 favorites]


I just hope he's not putting himself at risk for cancer.

Just in case the social stigma isn't keeping you away from fucking goats, YOU MIGHT GET PENILE CANCER FROM IT!
posted by asnider at 8:23 AM on July 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


Well, they warned us. You let gay people get married, and the next thing you know...
posted by Sing Or Swim at 8:24 AM on July 24, 2012 [2 favorites]


(Previous remark made for humorous effect only. Opinions expressed are those of the commenter and do not reflect the official position of this establishment. Man in suit is not an actual goat.)
posted by Sing Or Swim at 8:28 AM on July 24, 2012


When Seinfeld episodes come to life.
posted by zzazazz at 8:30 AM on July 24, 2012


In light of all the horrible shit going on lately, this seems perfectly acceptable.
posted by PHINC at 8:32 AM on July 24, 2012 [4 favorites]


He is just into goats, see?
posted by FireSpy at 8:36 AM on July 24, 2012 [2 favorites]


EwesFilter?
posted by obscurator at 8:39 AM on July 24, 2012


"I'm the other kind of chupacabra."
posted by zamboni at 8:39 AM on July 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


There's a subtle reason not to make all kinds of things illegal if you can help it right there.

I agree. All kidding aside, and wether or not you agree with his motives, I think we can agree he ought not be billied by the nanny state. He can clove himself however he wishes. Let him doe as he wishes.
posted by hydrophonic at 8:40 AM on July 24, 2012 [5 favorites]


...wildlife officials worried he could be in danger as hunting season approaches.

"Think of it as evolution in action." - Oath of Fealty, Larry Niven
posted by randomkeystrike at 8:43 AM on July 24, 2012


Fetafilter
posted by orme at 8:46 AM on July 24, 2012 [5 favorites]


It's a viral ad for a movie based on a Haruki Murakami novel.
posted by Obscure Reference at 8:47 AM on July 24, 2012 [9 favorites]


It would be worse if it were a goat demonstrating goatse.
posted by stormpooper at 8:47 AM on July 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


I'm hoping this guy is actually playing a very involved practical joke on the goats, where after three months of living amongst them he finally jumps up and yells "I'm not a goat! I'm a human being! HAhahaha!" The goats of course will all just stand around like "No shit, pal."
posted by orme at 8:50 AM on July 24, 2012 [6 favorites]


Jeff Minter, is that you?
posted by acb at 8:53 AM on July 24, 2012 [2 favorites]


This guy takes acting the goat to a whole new level. I will have to try harder.
posted by ActingTheGoat at 8:55 AM on July 24, 2012 [4 favorites]


Mock all you want. I know who I want on my team when push comes to chèvre.
posted by argonauta at 8:58 AM on July 24, 2012 [7 favorites]


it is believed he could just be an extreme wildlife enthusiast

I picture a guy slamming a 2-liter of Mountain Dew and then jumping out of an airplane while duct taped to a pair of hyenas and a wounded zebra.
posted by compartment at 9:04 AM on July 24, 2012 [11 favorites]


The movie title?
Waiting for Doe Goat.
posted by Floydd at 9:05 AM on July 24, 2012 [8 favorites]


So that's what happened to Jim Breuer!
posted by Earthtopus at 9:06 AM on July 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


Yes... but a bow and arrow is a distance weapon. How close does he need to be to take down a goat?

Distance weapon compared to a stick, sure, but you still need to be surprisingly close. And there's not much cover on a mountainside, so your basic options would be to dress up as landscape (ie camo) or dress up as a goat and hope no other hunter is out there in camo.
posted by Forktine at 9:10 AM on July 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


TIL people hunt goats.
posted by danl at 9:13 AM on July 24, 2012 [2 favorites]


It's a viral ad for a movie based on a Haruki Murakami novel.

"And what did it feel like to have this goat inside your body?"
"Nothing special really. It just felt like there was this goat inside me. I woke up and there was this goat inside. A perfectly natural feeling."


Perfectly. Natural. Feeling.
posted by Winnemac at 9:14 AM on July 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


drlith, I was going to make a similar joke, but in light of the second link, I think we're maybe both Barthing up the wrong tree.

*shows self door*
posted by kengraham at 9:19 AM on July 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


Goat boy would not approve
posted by photoslob at 9:22 AM on July 24, 2012


Am I the only one who thinks this is a rather dastardly and dishonourable way to hunt goats?
You gain their trust, win their friendship and affection and then, THOCK, they get an arrow through the chest.
In wartime people dressed up in the enemy's uniform are executed for this sort of treachery, and I wouldn't be surprised if goats subscribe to the same code of conduct.
posted by Flashman at 9:22 AM on July 24, 2012 [13 favorites]


Be vewy vewy quiet, I'm hunting el chupacabra.
posted by emelenjr at 9:28 AM on July 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


Waiting for Doe Goat.

Coming soon in IBEX!
posted by hydrophonic at 9:31 AM on July 24, 2012 [7 favorites]


Mountain goats aren't all that closely related to domestic goats. Same subfamily, different genus. That's the same degree of relation as cheetah to domestic cat.
posted by Sidhedevil at 9:32 AM on July 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


Eponysterical, Flashman! Well played.
posted by Sidhedevil at 9:33 AM on July 24, 2012 [4 favorites]


UNGULATE YOU FINISH BUT THIS GUY GOT ONE OF THE BEST GOAT SUITS OF ALL TIME.
posted by caution live frogs at 9:34 AM on July 24, 2012 [30 favorites]


The goat with an unlimited supply of tin cans in the land of goats is king.
posted by digsrus at 9:38 AM on July 24, 2012


Utah solves its 'goat man' mystery.

Aww, man...he's just a hunter? That takes all the fun and mystery out of it. It was far more interesting when he was a nutbag living amongst the goats.
posted by askmeaboutLOOM at 9:39 AM on July 24, 2012


First there was planking...
posted by snorkmaiden at 9:49 AM on July 24, 2012 [2 favorites]


"Think of it as evolution in action." - Oath of Fealty, Larry Niven

and Jerry Pournelle.

posted by stebulus at 9:56 AM on July 24, 2012


The jig is up: For nearly 50 years, I have lived amongst you -- a goat in a mansuit.
posted by Devils Rancher at 10:02 AM on July 24, 2012 [11 favorites]


Mountain goats aren't all that closely related to domestic goats. Same subfamily, different genus. That's the same degree of relation as cheetah to domestic cat.

Mooooom, make them stop ruining our fun with their knowledge and accuracy!
posted by FelliniBlank at 10:03 AM on July 24, 2012


That's not a man in a goat suit... it's a goat in a man suit! WAKE UP SHEEPLE.
posted by ErikaB at 10:11 AM on July 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


this is a rather dastardly and dishonourable way to hunt goats

No need to worry - I think this guy awkwardly explained he was preparing to "hunt goats" in the same sense that I might show up at the emergency ward late one hot summer with a bath brush deeply embedded in my rectum because I "slipped in the shower".
posted by CynicalKnight at 10:13 AM on July 24, 2012 [3 favorites]


WON'T SOMEONE THINK OF THE KIDS ?!?
posted by mazola at 10:19 AM on July 24, 2012 [5 favorites]


Frankly, he's acting like a kid, butt wether or not you agree with me, the man needs a nanny.
All this bleating about his motives is Boering.
posted by BlueHorse at 10:27 AM on July 24, 2012


this is a rather dastardly and dishonourable way to hunt goats

This seems more like an elaborate bestiality experience.
posted by elizardbits at 10:30 AM on July 24, 2012


In actuality, Goatsuit Guy lives in a quasi-real, quasi-dream-like fugue state, otherwise known as My Life in the Bush of Goats.
posted by Devils Rancher at 10:32 AM on July 24, 2012 [5 favorites]


To Catch a Predator is really scraping the barrel on entrapment scenarios, aren't they?
posted by dr_dank at 10:33 AM on July 24, 2012


it's a goat in a man suit! WAKE UP SHEEPLE.

shee Goaple?

A man in a goat in a man in a goat in a man in a goat suit. It's suits all the way down.
posted by Devils Rancher at 10:34 AM on July 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


Devils Rancher: " shee Goaple?"

Goatshe
posted by zarq at 10:34 AM on July 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


This is exactly why predicting the future is for the birds. No one is going to say, "In the future dudes will dress up like Lamb Chop and live with mountain goats and mad scientists will make jellyfish-rat-jellyfish cardiac muscle monsters."
posted by byanyothername at 10:40 AM on July 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


To be fair, there's a wino down on Congress ave. who's been shouting exactly that for years, now. Nobody believed him.
posted by Devils Rancher at 10:42 AM on July 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


I guess he got sick of dressing up like Tony Clifton.
posted by jenkinsEar at 11:04 AM on July 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


First thing I thought was that the experience for the viewer, to see that goat-man looking back at him, would have been like this shot from the Shining.

As in, creepy as fuck.
posted by sutt at 11:27 AM on July 24, 2012 [4 favorites]


I had no idea people hunted goats. WTF? Do they not live in uncovered areas in large groups that can't run particularly fast?
posted by dobbs at 11:42 AM on July 24, 2012


Meh.
posted by onlyconnect at 11:47 AM on July 24, 2012


I seem to recall there was some sort of monster in the American south that lives in swamps and looks like a humanoid goat, but I Googling brings up nothing

Try googling "Ted Nugent".
posted by elizardbits at 11:54 AM on July 24, 2012 [18 favorites]


PLEASE POST STORIES LIKE THIS AFTER MY STUPID TUESDAY MEETING SO I CAN GET IN ON THE GOOD JOKES.
posted by maxwelton at 12:12 PM on July 24, 2012 [2 favorites]


Goats are not sheep, y'all....And they do not give birth to lambs.

They're just kidding around.
posted by never used baby shoes at 12:25 PM on July 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


Immediately thought of the golden eagles. And I can't deny being moderately entertained by the idea.
posted by DisreputableDog at 12:26 PM on July 24, 2012


Fucking people. Fucking goatpeople.

"goat fucking people", more like it
posted by nathancaswell at 12:26 PM on July 24, 2012


Was he whistling far and wee?
posted by nathancaswell at 12:29 PM on July 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


Give me some cheese or else go home.
posted by jonmc at 12:29 PM on July 24, 2012


What an odd sexual feta-sh.
posted by nathancaswell at 12:36 PM on July 24, 2012


feta is sheep's milk, dude.
posted by Jon_Evil at 12:46 PM on July 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


pictures of goats clinging to the precipice
posted by ohshenandoah at 12:50 PM on July 24, 2012 [3 favorites]


Since 2002, feta has been a protected designation of origin product in the European Union. According to the relevant EU legislation, only those cheeses produced in a traditional way in some areas of Greece (mainland and the island of Lesbos), and made from sheep milk, or from a mixture of sheep and goats’ milk (up to 30%) of the same area, may bear the name "feta".
posted by nathancaswell at 12:51 PM on July 24, 2012


pictures of goats clinging to the precipice

I think I just wet my goat suit a little.
posted by FelliniBlank at 12:53 PM on July 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


You see, I have a problem. I'm goat-enamored (in a non-sexual way). I am one of the aforementioned goat people.

My husband is among your kind. I sent him a link to this with the subject "DON'T GET ANY IDEAS." And truly, had he been in Utah recently, I'd have some questions for him.

Come to think of it...
posted by sonika at 1:10 PM on July 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


Dressing like a goat to hunt goats sounds like a pretty chèvre plan to me.
posted by padraigin at 1:11 PM on July 24, 2012


I had no idea people hunted goats. WTF? Do they not live in uncovered areas in large groups that can't run particularly fast?

From ultimateungulate.com: "Mountain goats are renowned for their exceptional speed and agility on steep terrain, and have been known to cover over 450 vertical meters / 1,500 vertical feet in a time span of just 20 minutes. Home ranges average about 23 square kilometers in size, although in winter, these become much smaller. Population densities vary widely (up to 14 animals per square kilometer), although the average figure is thought to be between 1 and 2 animals per square kilometer. The rare fights between rival males are extremely violent, often causing serious injury or death. Opponents thrust their sharp horns at each others flanks and rump in an attempt to gore the soft flesh."
posted by EvaDestruction at 1:15 PM on July 24, 2012


Opponents thrust their sharp horns at each others flanks and rump in an attempt to gore the soft flesh."

DONT STOP IM ALMOST THERE
posted by nathancaswell at 1:24 PM on July 24, 2012 [4 favorites]


elgilito: He should have tried this in Italy

Whoa! That's just flat out amazing.
posted by Kevin Street at 1:34 PM on July 24, 2012


"Criminals are a superstitious cowardly lot, so my disguise must be able to strike terror into their hearts. I must dress like a visage of Satan himself, and then these mountains will be free of crime."
posted by Apocryphon at 1:35 PM on July 24, 2012 [2 favorites]


Apocryphon, I can't tell if you're serious or being satyrical.
posted by hydrophonic at 1:41 PM on July 24, 2012 [5 favorites]


"Criminals are a superstitious cowardly lot, so my disguise must be able to strike terror into their hearts. I must dress like a visage of Satan himself, and then these mountains will be free of crime."

i'm the goddamn Capegoat.
posted by zamboni at 1:51 PM on July 24, 2012 [3 favorites]


He should have tried this in Italy

Spider goat, Spider goat
Does whatever a spider goat does
Can he swing from a web?
No, he can't, he's a goat
Look out!
Here comes the spidergoat
posted by FelliniBlank at 3:12 PM on July 24, 2012 [4 favorites]


Spider goats
posted by Pallas Athena at 3:31 PM on July 24, 2012 [1 favorite]


Really, if you haven't, you need to click that link of pictures of mountain goats a short way up. Amazing!
posted by JHarris at 4:56 PM on July 24, 2012


According to EU cheese may be considered ‘feta’ if it is made of a mixture of sheep and goat milk, with goat milk being less than or equal to 30% of the entire mixture.

Better not to talk about this in certain bars though.
posted by Winnemac at 5:06 PM on July 24, 2012


My family and I are camping in this area on our annual vacation & when we went into town to get ice , I read this and got excited (maybe too excited ?) . I was hoping we would spot him and he would adjust his mask and call me "Maaaaaaaaaa'm.
posted by slothhog at 6:02 PM on July 24, 2012


So in the end, the guy was just training for his Great Northern hunt? Sounds a bit off the rails.
posted by maxwelton at 6:15 PM on July 24, 2012


Yeah, I was hoping it was just a clever satyre.
posted by Pallas Athena at 7:00 PM on July 24, 2012 [8 favorites]


Well, I guess the UDWR can scrap it's plans for setting trip traps for the guy.
posted by Catch at 8:03 PM on July 24, 2012


fasterisk
posted by Catch at 8:08 PM on July 24, 2012


We also have a hot dog man up there.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 8:21 PM on July 24, 2012


So in the end, the guy was just training for his Great Northern hunt? Sounds a bit off the rails.
posted by maxwelton at 9:15 PM on July 24


Turns out he just wanted to bow his wild goats.
posted by mcrandello at 10:00 PM on July 24, 2012 [3 favorites]


Goats are pretty amazing. Count me as pro-goat. Not so much for some guy "disguising myself as a goat in order to hurt them."

That anything survives in the wild, despite humanity's attempts to destroy them, heartens me.

(Tiny story. The other day, I woke up early and found coyotes on my lawn. Sure, my neighbors, dog and cat owners, would have been frightened and enraged. But I sat there, for a half hour, sipping my cocoa and just watching, until these fellow travelers finished eating the discarded bits of dogfood and disappeared into the mists.

(Perhaps I'm overly sentimental. But I wish mankind could leave a little space for the wild.)
posted by SPrintF at 10:10 PM on July 24, 2012 [2 favorites]


"Oh, I thought you said 'ghost'".
posted by h00py at 12:28 AM on July 25, 2012


WidgetAlley: When you ask farmers, have any ever said yes? When they say no, do they ever get angry? Do they ever make threats?
posted by BiggerJ at 2:03 AM on July 25, 2012


> I seem to recall there was some sort of monster in the American south that lives in swamps and looks like a humanoid goat, but I Googling brings up nothing

>> Try googling "Ted Nugent".

You know full well that the Nuge is Midwesterner. Further attempts to slanderdize the South will be met with an aggressive campaign to Bless Your Heart.
posted by Panjandrum at 3:27 AM on July 25, 2012


kokoru: You may be thinking of the Skunk Ape. Or you may be thinking of el Chupacabra, who does not look like a goat, but rather sucks them. They've both been seen in South Florida.

If that guy tried goat-dressing down here, an anaconda would probably get him. Butt that's just how it is down here in the 'Glades.
posted by theplotchickens at 12:25 PM on July 31, 2012


If that guy tried goat-dressing down here, an anaconda would probably get him.

I heard that the goats have put a hit out on goat-suit guy. They're sending a stone-cold killer - some kid named Buttermilk.
posted by zamboni at 5:02 PM on August 1, 2012 [1 favorite]


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