Comments on: The gang spends an entire episode waiting for a Chinese restaurant's website to load

The gang spends an entire episode waiting for a Chinese restaurant's website to load

oneswellfoop — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 11:06:32 -0800

Seinfeld 2012 Imagining the characters from the now-vintage sitcom dealing with current technology and social media. From the creator of the beloved Beartato.

By: griphus

griphus — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 11:10:51 -0800

"George pretends to be the guys in Missed Connections ads, hoping the women will fall for it" Wow. That is actually perfect.

By: BentFranklin

BentFranklin — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 11:11:05 -0800

Comedy gold!

By: notyou

notyou — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 11:11:18 -0800

On last night's rerun, Kramer was talking on his giant handheld portable landline (with 12 inch telescoping antenna) to a utility repairman who had called from a payphone attached to the side of a building.

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 11:12:06 -0800

Aren't these Portlandia skits? Wait why aren't these Portlandia sketches?

By: COBRA!

COBRA! — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 11:14:45 -0800

Bania replies to all of Jerry's tweets OK, that's kind of genius.

By: Lentrohamsanin

Lentrohamsanin — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 11:15:12 -0800

I don't get it: wasn't Seinfeld still on just a little over a year ago? I loved season 21!

By: benito.strauss

benito.strauss — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 11:17:05 -0800

Those are spot on.

By: delmoi

delmoi — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 11:17:10 -0800

Seinfeld was kind of getting old when it went off the air. I feel like it lost it's 'edge' in the last few seasons, If I had to say I'd guess that it might have had something to do with Larry David leaving. But also, they likely just ran out of stuff to talk about. The basic premise of the show was making fun of the random annoyances or (or just ridiculousness) of modern life. Certainly life has changed a lot in the past... wow, 14 years. There's lots of new stuff to complain about. It might make sense to bring back seinfeild for a season or two, to check up on the characters and see what's going on. Also, there was actually was a short 'reunion' on the Larry David show. It was pretty entertaining. One of the characters apparently made a ton of money with an iPhone app and lost it all to Bernie Madoff

By: ultraviolet catastrophe

ultraviolet catastrophe — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 11:20:38 -0800

Elaine's friends keep bugging her on Facebook: "When are you gonna "Like" the baby? You gotta "Like" the baby!" I laughed at that one, because people would do that.

By: saul wright

saul wright — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 11:21:00 -0800

The Bania replies to all of Jerry's tweets and the George sends friend requests to his parents on Facebook, and they decline ones are perfect. And that Seinfeld Reunion season of Curb is one of the greatest things ever to grace the small screen.

By: Bwithh

Bwithh — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 11:21:41 -0800

It was pretty entertaining. One of the characters apparently made a ton of money with an iPhone app and lost it all to Bernie Madoff I think there was an Elaine Blackberry joke too? The best part on that Curb Your Enthusiasm Seinfeld season arc is when pretend Larry David fills in for pretend Jason Alexander to play the George character, who is based on the real Larry David. brilliant

By: blaneyphoto

blaneyphoto — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 11:31:40 -0800

This goes nicely with the Seinfeld Food Truck...

By: mysterpigg

mysterpigg — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 11:35:11 -0800

Ha! These are pretty spot-on. And while Beartato may be beloved, Party Cat is what turned me on to Nedroid in the first place, and is still one of my favorite comics to this day.

By: 2bucksplus

2bucksplus — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 11:38:02 -0800

Elaine finds a great new apartment but finds out later it is a cellphone deadzone, leading her to start dating men based on the reception in their apartments. She rates them based on bars; "How'd your date go last night?" "4 bars" "4 bars?" "4" "Well, what did he look like?" "Who cares" Kramer's personal twitter account (InstaKram) starts receiving messages intended for Instagram, he answers then in character until Instagram starts sending him vaguely threatening pictures. "Look at that Jerry, I can't even tell what that is but I'm scared"

By: HuronBob

HuronBob — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 11:44:33 -0800

So, how long do we have to wait for these to be on TV, eh? 'cuz I'm making popcorn right now.

By: Gary

Gary — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 11:56:47 -0800

George decides not to date anymore since Siri is nicer to him than any woman has ever been This is some sort of test right? Where I point out this was a Big Bang Theory episode and then Metafilter dogpiles on me for watching that show? Well played, internet.

By: Egg Shen

Egg Shen — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 11:59:36 -0800

We can be thankful that Seinfeld did as little topical humor as it did. It wasn't good at it. "It's the 90s, Jerry. It's Hammer Time!" "You know who I saw wilding last night? Herb!"

By: COD

COD — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 12:00:21 -0800

Newman would definitely have a very widely read blog.

By: ultraviolet catastrophe

ultraviolet catastrophe — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 12:03:59 -0800

We can be thankful that Seinfeld did as little topical humor as it did. It wasn't good at it. "It's the 90s, Jerry. It's Hammer Time!" I'm pretty sure the topical ridiculousness of Hammer Time is the whole point of that joke.

By: incomple

incomple — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 12:09:25 -0800

Amazon.com's Jerk Department says they only have 2 of YOU left in stock, so I should order now! (I hate myself)

By: asnider

asnider — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 12:14:30 -0800

Every episode would last 30 seconds because the existence of cell phones (and, occasionally, the Internet) would solve the problem of the week. George responding to Missed Connections ads hoping that the women will think he is the guy is spot on, though. That actually could be an episode (whereas most of the things on the list are funny as a sort of "modern Seinfeld would suck" thing, not as actual episode concepts).

By: maryr

maryr — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 12:18:27 -0800

Party Cat is the best.

"Look man, we gotta talk." "Is it about par--" "It's about parties."

By: PhoBWanKenobi

PhoBWanKenobi — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 12:19:16 -0800

Also, there was actually was a short 'reunion' on the Larry David show. It was pretty entertaining. One of the characters apparently made a ton of money with an iPhone app and lost it all to Bernie Madoff Wow, that was downright hypnotic on several levels.

By: fearfulsymmetry

fearfulsymmetry — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 12:34:33 -0800

As a Brit I'll have to wait until half eleven tonight to read this post

By: obscurator

obscurator — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 12:42:06 -0800

After an enthusiastic sales pitch to Jerry, Newman and Kramer invest a large portion of his money in a DVD-by-mail company, as the red envelopes comprise a large portion of Newman's daily deliveries. They are dismayed when the company decides to ditch its snail mail department, so they drive Newman's mail truck 3,000 miles to the company's headquarters with mail sacks full of pirated DVD's that Kramer's ethnic Asian plans to sell in front of the HQ. In the backlash, the company contacts Jerry (its main shareholder (Kramer and Newman went overboard with the investment) and they agree to retain the mail service, but demand exclusive rights to distribute his show/routine.

By: obscurator

obscurator — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 12:42:57 -0800

ethnic Asian friend

By: item

item — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 12:51:35 -0800

I didn't realize I liked Seinfeld until a few years ago. I really never watched it when I was on, so there's still a whole lot of episodes that I haven't seen. Sometimes I feel like I'm watching a sitcom from an alien planet, because the characters on that show look and act and talk so much differently than anything I knew in the 1990's, though I suppose it has that in common with every other sitcom from that decade.

By: davebush

davebush — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 12:58:25 -0800

Kramer trades his pizza recipe app to Newman for a Starbucks gift card. Newman then sells the app for 2 million dollars.

By: box

box — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 13:06:29 -0800

Kramer buys a cigar-store mascot, then defends the purchase in a series of increasingly profane tweets.

By: donajo

donajo — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 13:09:11 -0800

Elaine's friends keep bugging her on Facebook: "When are you gonna "Like" the baby? You gotta "Like" the baby!" No, no, no. The modern equivalent has become "you gotta meet the baby". Twenty years ago, you had to see the baby, now I hear about how everyone is so ready to "meet" newborn babies.

By: COBRA!

COBRA! — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 13:13:19 -0800

Elaine feels kind of shitty about her old joke after reading in the paper that an Australian court determined that a dingo did in fact eat the baby.

By: moorooka

moorooka — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 13:25:20 -0800

We can be thankful that Seinfeld did as little topical humor as it did. It wasn't good at it. They got jiggy with it!

By: Harry

Harry — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 13:29:43 -0800

- Kramer and George get into a Wikipedia edit war over Jennifer Aniston's nationality. - Elaine ran into her boyfriend on Omegle. He had it out. It. Out. - Kramer swears off all digital communications, and now communicates only on paper. He turns this into a business with Frank. - An app about apples. On an Apple. Don't you understand, Jerry? - George discovers ebay, and becomes and importer/exporter.

By: howfar

howfar — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 13:31:46 -0800

The gang learn Kramer's first name by looking him on Google Am I missing something here? Was this something the author's slow-witted nephew added after watching two episodes of Seinfeld?

By: griphus

griphus — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 13:36:25 -0800

What, you never looking at people on Google?

By: Effigy2000

Effigy2000 — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 13:42:09 -0800

"George writes a scathing review on Yelp and is banned from the coffee shop." Everything is spot on, except I thought this one would be more of an Elaine thing.

By: howfar

howfar — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 13:43:29 -0800

What, you never looking at people on Google? I never looking people on Google when their mother telling me their first name in season 6.

By: Effigy2000

Effigy2000 — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 13:46:04 -0800

Here's a few that he missed but would have been good. Jerry obsesses and worries after finding out more people are torrenting Bania's MP3s than his. Jerry's podcasts get scathing reviews on iTunes. He eventually finds out that its Newman leaving them and gets revenge by tweeting about Newman's job performance using unflattering hashtags like #snailmail and #postisdead.

By: griphus

griphus — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 13:46:25 -0800

Is "Cosmer" no?

By: xorry

xorry — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 13:49:07 -0800

I never looking people on Google when their mother telling me their first name in season 6.
posted by howfar at 4:43 PM on August 1 [+] [!]

Did anyone else read this in Cubert Farnsworth's voice?

By: Algebra

Algebra — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 13:52:53 -0800

Interesting to note that George is the main character in most of these situations. It seems to me that he is the most compelling character on the show, the one who has aged the best, so to speak.

By: griphus

griphus — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 13:54:56 -0800

Well, he was the stand-in for the Larry David who, as the inevitable march of time continues to prove, is a much better comedy writer than Jerry Seinfeld.

By: saul wright

saul wright — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 13:56:47 -0800

howfar, what Seinfeld would be like if it had aired in the internet era.

By: howfar

howfar — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 14:00:12 -0800

howfar, what Seinfeld would be like if it had aired in the internet era. It seems I am the stocky, slow-witted man tonight.

By: davebush

davebush — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 14:12:58 -0800

George's Google search history is discovered. Jerry: "Nursing home threesomes!?"

By: junco

junco — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 14:13:53 -0800

See also the SeinfeldStories account on Twitter: Jerry dumps a girl who rolls her R's. George tries to read the encyclopedia, and won't shut up about aviation. Kramer buys an owl.

By: Spatch

Spatch — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 15:21:26 -0800

Video of dancing Elaine is remixed and becomes a meme; Jerry and George argue over whether it's "mehm" or "meeme". Kramer creates his own cryptocurrency, only to have Redditor Newman corner the market. Elaine dates man with no Facebook account. "He's MySpace-only?" "MySpace-only." George feuds with favorite cupcake boutique after they discontinue free extra frosting. Kramer befriends a police horse at an Occupy camp.

By: Danf

Danf — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 15:55:34 -0800

Whilst surfing porn, George happens upon an x-rated "girls gone wild" clip featuring a undergrad Elaine, who (as she will explain to the rabbi) was several months in the arrears on rent and desperate.

By: gompa

gompa — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 16:01:35 -0800

When the Soup Nazi food truck launches on Elaine's block, she creates a fake Twitter account for it to try to divert the crowds blocking the entrance to her apartment.

By: gompa

gompa — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 16:04:05 -0800

Kramer organizes a flash mob to spread the word about Festivus.

By: gompa

gompa — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 16:05:32 -0800

George winds up in charge of the New York Yankees' official Twitter feed and uses a fake viral #DateDerekJeter contest to meet women.

By: jimmythefish

jimmythefish — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 16:06:53 -0800

All you have to do is match the defining personality traits with the associated social media/web behavior and you have your matches. George is a coward, and lazy - he makes an Art Vandelay Facebook account so that he doesn't have to be himself and then realizes he has to make an Art Vandelay Twitter account and then a LinedIN account and pretty soon it's too much trouble to keep up the facade. Kramer is an impulsive entrepreneur, so he develops a ridiculous iPhone app (pizza ingredient above is a great suggestion) that makes a ton of money, only to lose all to a 12-year-old Nermal look-alike on on-line poker. Newman is a neutral-evil foil. Kramer finds out that he has 18 girlfriends on Plenty of Fish and decides that it's not right, steals his iPhone, initiates chase montage through city and ends up at the front of his building where all 18 are waiting for him and realize his ploy. Elaine is shallow and mean and can't stand it that Putty is friends with Sue-Ellen Mischke, the bra-less wonder, when she's not. She tries to break that relationship up and it backfires; Putty de-friends her and they break up until next episode. Jerry is lazy and vain and I agree with the Jerry/Bania podcast thing. Small things: Jerry is always harping about Kramer stealing WiFi. Elaine shows nipple on her Facebook profile page. George's parents don't understand computers.

By: Secret Life of Gravy

Secret Life of Gravy — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 16:13:27 -0800

Jerry drops his girlfriend because she uses the word "LOL" in actual conversations. He goes off the next girlfriend when he discovers that she writes Twilight fanfic. He goes off the next girlfriend when he can't reach her 24/7 because she doesn't carry around a cell phone. He goes off his next girlfriend because she bombards him with lame email forwards. He goes off his next girlfriend because she wears pantyhose with sandals.

By: gompa

gompa — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 16:16:53 -0800

A fun counter-exercise: Which Seinfeld plots have been rendered obsolete (or could be) by digital technology? One obvious plotline that already has been made obsolete is the one where George needs to steal the physical tape out of a girlfriend's answering machine. One that could be made obsolete is: What if the bakery selling the chocolate babka (or marble rye) had a Twitter feed letting everyone know when they ran out of their signature items?

By: griphus

griphus — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 16:20:02 -0800

He goes off his next girlfriend because she wears pantyhose with sandals. This is actually a class 2 felony in NYC if you're under 65.

By: fearfulsymmetry

fearfulsymmetry — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 16:35:37 -0800

master of your domain name

By: box

box — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 16:38:54 -0800

Jerry torrents Plan 9 From Outer Space, watches it in his living room while ordering Chinese food with his phone.

By: elizardbits

elizardbits — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 16:43:30 -0800

I can't decide what movies would replace the English Patient and Schindler's List for those respective episodes. SIGH.

By: briank

briank — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 16:44:36 -0800

Episode begins with Jerry's standup routine "What's the deal with Instagram? Digital cameras take perfect pictures and Instagram turns them all into Polaroids from 1974!"

By: box

box — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 16:46:32 -0800

After George's mother catches him in an embarrassing position, the gang has a contest to see who can go the longest without sexting.

By: malapropist

malapropist — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 17:02:09 -0800

George accidentally forwards his new girlfriend an unflattering photo of his privates. "Do women know about JPG compression?!" That's gold, Jerry, gold!

By: gompa

gompa — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 17:25:05 -0800

I can't decide what movies would replace the English Patient and Schindler's List for those respective episodes. SIGH. The Artist and The Help.

By: Apropos of Something

Apropos of Something — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 17:33:56 -0800

* George wears earplugs on the street to avoid spoilers for a television show before it shows up on Hulu, only to discover that no one is talking about the show in question. * Elaine stops using FourSquare after she discovers only ex-boyfriends are following her checkins. * Kramer creates a business breeding cats that make funny faces. * George takes up geocaching in order to take the contents of the boxes without replacing them. * Kramer refuses to buy anything that's not from Trader Joe's.

By: Ivan Fyodorovich

Ivan Fyodorovich — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 17:35:18 -0800

Seinfeld is "vintage"? Fuck.

By: cmoj

cmoj — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 18:17:42 -0800

George accidentally forwards his new girlfriend an unflattering photo of his privates. "Do women know about JPG compression?!" Who is emailing George pictures of his own junk?

By: goodnewsfortheinsane

goodnewsfortheinsane — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 18:25:27 -0800

Spatch: "Kramer befriends a police horse at an Occupy camp." I have little to add right now, I just want to quote this because I love it so much. Thanks, Spatch.

By: DU

DU — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 18:43:23 -0800

Jerry and George argue over whether it's "mehm" or "meeme". Except George would be the wrong one.

By: arcticseal

arcticseal — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 18:54:14 -0800

Jerry's Netflix account is hacked by Newman and all his recommendations are The Postman starring Kevin Costner.

By: box

box — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 19:02:32 -0800

George becomes obsessed with preserving his high score on Frogger's Xbox Live Arcade leaderboards.

By: Jon Mitchell

Jon Mitchell — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 20:32:40 -0800

Jerry drops his girlfriend because she uses the word "LOL" in actual conversations. I did this in around 2006 or so! it would never have worked

By: hot_monster

hot_monster — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 20:55:22 -0800

Elaine stays up all night crafting a lol cat caption. She's hopes to make the front page of reddit.

By: griphus

griphus — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 21:06:44 -0800

Speaking of which, check out what last weeks caption contest was.

By: Harvey Kilobit

Harvey Kilobit — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 22:39:02 -0800

Seinfeld is "vintage"? Fuck. Also it seems the 1990s were not "the internet era," so I don't know what I was doing on dialup to read the alt.tv.seinfeld Usenet group all that time.

By: malapropist

malapropist — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 23:03:49 -0800

See, this is one of the things I love about the Simpsons: we still have all the classic episodes, and yet it has continued on until now, which gives us the Simpsons satirizing smartphones, Obama, and Facebook. I love it. Did anyone else see the 500th episode? The Simpson family is banished from Springfield and finds a place to live among society's rejects, "off the grid," until Lenny and Carl show up to join them. All of a sudden all the other Springfielders start showing up, asking to join their reject society. Then this exchange happens:

Lenny: "I have a funny feeling our paradise is about to get ruined by unwanted guests." Carl: "Eh, I probably shouldn't have given this place 5 stars on Yelp."

By: oneswellfoop

oneswellfoop — Wed, 01 Aug 2012 23:25:53 -0800

Seinfeld is "vintage"? Fuck. I stopped myself before calling it "classic", but my search for a semi-synonym didn't turn up anything better than "vintage". Of course, 45 seconds after I posted, I thought "shoulda said 'iconic'!!!" And while the 1990s could kind of be considered the "early internet era", such stuff was not yet culturally ubiquitous enough (Seinfeld did debut BEFORE the WWW), especially in Seinfeld's part of New York. I don't recall a single reference to email or AOL (even though the ubiquitous disks were frequent stand-up fodder). Technology in Seinfeld World was more about "the sponge" then. But today...

By: ninjew

ninjew — Thu, 02 Aug 2012 00:15:49 -0800

Kramer makes an inappropriate comment, which is then seen by millions of people on YouTube. He hides out in his apartment. A Chik-Fil-A opens across from Kramer's apartment. Jerry's gay friend (not that there's anything wrong with that) from college gets hired and then fired. Newman and Kramer continue to eat the chicken sandwiches despite Jerry's protests. Elaine, despite being actually a 1-percenter, has an altercation with and then begins dating an Occupy protester.

By: Secret Life of Gravy

Secret Life of Gravy — Thu, 02 Aug 2012 05:03:53 -0800

My husband is a Seinfeld aficionado. Occasionally a word or phrase will come up in conversation-- panties, rye bread, TV guide-- and then that night he will say, "We have to watch the rye bread episode." This has happened every couple of weeks for the last 12 years. Good thing I like Seinfeld as well. Jerry drops his girlfriend because she doesn't think The Simpsons is funny.