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Chicken Wings
August 7, 2012 7:29 PM   Subscribe

Buffalo chicken wings were invented by Teressa Bellissimo at the Anchor Bar in Buffalo, New York in 1964. Americans will eat 25 billion of them this year - not a few of them at the 10th annual National Buffalo Wing Festival. Some people eat nothing else. Alton Brown steams his. But will any of them be more delicious than these Sriracha Garlic Wings?
posted by Egg Shen (121 comments total) 49 users marked this as a favorite

 
Certainly.
posted by Ice Cream Socialist at 7:32 PM on August 7, 2012 [1 favorite]


Eat mor chikin.
posted by Ardiril at 7:44 PM on August 7, 2012 [1 favorite]


Back in the days when BW-3 stood for "Buffalo Wild Wings & Weck" and only had 4 heat levels, the BW-3 across the street from my alma mater was on my way home to my apartment. Tuesday was 10-cent-wing-night, and for two years my roommate and I scheduled our classes so that we finished at the same time. We'd walk by the BW-3, stand in line for half an hour and get $5 worth each. They'd be just the right temperature when we got home, and of course there was beer in the fridge. Damn, that's a memory to savor.
posted by Runes at 7:48 PM on August 7, 2012 [7 favorites]


Piping up to say the Alton Brown method is brilliant. Steaming the wings first drains a lot of the excess fat without drying out the meat. Following this with the oven roast crisps up the skin beautifully, so the end product mimics deep-fried wings quite closely without the grease. Without the steaming step, the skin stays rubbery and gross.

Main go-to sauce is Frank's, but I'm itching to try them out with the transcendent KimKim Korean hot sauce. Seriously, any hot sauce connoisseurs out there: if you see a bottle of KimKim, pick it up. SO damned good.
posted by shiu mai baby at 7:51 PM on August 7, 2012 [6 favorites]


If you are all buffalo'd out, char siu sauce is an excellent alternative for chicken wings.
posted by furtive at 8:02 PM on August 7, 2012 [1 favorite]


I'll have to try out those sriracha wings. A bar here in Toronto diversified their wings menu and I can't go back to the Frank's hot sauce style wings any more, as much as I used to love them. Now I need lemonade and rosemary wings, or spicy honey, or tandoori, or piri piri, or....
posted by thecjm at 8:04 PM on August 7, 2012


The sriracha recipe above is similar to how I usually cook wings, though I cook them a bit longer (though that may be mostly oven temperature variation; the key is to cook them until "done," not by watching the clock). I dislike the breaded style which is what most bars serve; the marinated skin is so naturally scrumptious that it seems a waste to slather it in breading, and I prefer the more complex flavors to the simple ultra-hot single note flavor of a lot of sauces.
posted by Forktine at 8:05 PM on August 7, 2012


I had Rochester wings in the Rochester airport. They are Buffalo wings served without celery.
posted by Rat Spatula at 8:14 PM on August 7, 2012 [1 favorite]


My favorite buffalo sauce recipe is from Cook's Illustrated. It's got what I think is the perfect balance of spicy, sweet, and sour.
posted by gyc at 8:17 PM on August 7, 2012 [2 favorites]


If we're discussing Buffalo wings, I must ask the following...

Which of you jackasses started dipping them in ranch?! What the hell is the matter with you? Ranch is a ubiquitous condiment that exists on dinner menus solely to signal to your dinner guest(s) that you are a person severely lacking in taste, and yet you decided to couple it with the caviar of bar food. That was a step too far.

In haste, I stopped at a Subway and considered getting a buffalo chicken sub, but alas... They only serve it with ranch. No blue cheese. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!!

If I ever see anyone attempt to dip our precious buffalo wings in that sludge, I will pick you up by your neck and slam you face first into your plate. And if you are in food service, the question of "ranch or blue cheese" had better be preceded with "are you Bathtub Bobsled?" if you value your safety.

This is not hyperbole.
posted by Bathtub Bobsled at 8:19 PM on August 7, 2012 [39 favorites]


Brine and grill. Season as desired.
posted by Bovine Love at 8:19 PM on August 7, 2012


And I have my opinions about Apple's decision to allow autocorrect to replace "bleu", but I'm going to take a deep breath...
posted by Bathtub Bobsled at 8:20 PM on August 7, 2012 [2 favorites]


I'm a big fan of Kenji's oven buffalo wings recipe on Serious Eats. I always love his Food Lab stuff, shows his trial and error processes in good detail.
posted by jason_steakums at 8:24 PM on August 7, 2012 [3 favorites]


Love the Alton method as well.

As for the Ranch heresy... I swear that must be a West Coast thing. I never heard of anyone doing something so silly until I arrived in LA 16 years ago.

And yeah, refuse the ranch!
posted by drewbage1847 at 8:26 PM on August 7, 2012 [2 favorites]


Ranch has definitely supplanted ketchup on the west coast as 'Murica Sauce.
posted by infinitewindow at 8:31 PM on August 7, 2012 [3 favorites]


I've been to the Wing Festival a handful of times. It's small, but there are some really inventive wing sauces present. I had some great ones from Portland of all places there. Portland!

I also hold (or have held, my times have probably been beaten by now) hot wing eating 'titles' at restaurants with hot wing challenges and the secret is to just plow through them as fast as you can manage. It's not much of a secret.
posted by troika at 8:39 PM on August 7, 2012


and yeah, ranch is an abomination.
posted by troika at 8:40 PM on August 7, 2012 [1 favorite]


The Alton Brown method is a little labor intensive but is an excellent way to prepare wings. It holds Frank's + Butter quite well.

I have fond memories of a BW3 selling cheap as dirt and tastier than anything wings in to my classmates too. One of the things I missed when coming out west is that good bar food was almost impossible to find.

Reading that recipe, I see a lot of things in it I like. Will have to try it before Football season starts. Thanks Egg Shen.
posted by chemoboy at 8:46 PM on August 7, 2012


I first saw the "drown it in ranch" thing when I moved to Texas 20 years ago from the East coast. Wings, pizza, salad, sandwiches. It just confuses me. Especially the salad. Why would you do that?!?!
posted by Seamus at 8:46 PM on August 7, 2012


Which of you jackasses started dipping them in ranch?!

I would guess someone who thought that blue cheese tastes like a festering wound smells.

Ranch is a ubiquitous condiment that exists on dinner menus solely to signal to your dinner guest(s) that you are a person severely lacking in taste, and yet you decided to couple it with the caviar of bar food.

Oh please. The caviar of bar food is a properly battered and fried onion ring, served hot enough to permanently scar.

If I ever see anyone attempt to dip our precious buffalo wings in that sludge, I will pick you up by your neck and slam you face first into your plate.

You are welcome to try. Better make the first shot count.

RANCH 4EVA
posted by BitterOldPunk at 8:47 PM on August 7, 2012 [28 favorites]


If I ever see anyone attempt to dip our precious buffalo wings in that sludge, I will pick you up by your neck and slam you face first into your plate. And if you are in food service, the question of "ranch or blue cheese" had better be preceded with "are you Bathtub Bobsled?" if you value your safety.

This is less impassioned than the rant against ranch by stand-up comedian Joey Diaz, which ends with a commandment I'm not going to post here. You can Google it.
posted by Bookhouse at 8:49 PM on August 7, 2012


And if you are in food service, the question of "ranch or blue cheese" had better be preceded with "are you Bathtub Bobsled?" if you value your safety.

I am actually looking forward to overhearing tens or perhaps hundreds of frightened chain-restaurant employee looking around nervously as they whisper "are... is... Is that you Mr. Bobsled sir?".

I'm going to narrow my eyes at them briefly, before informing them that The Bath is not expected to join us here today, no. But, I will tell them, who can know for sure? His moods are unpredictable. Perhaps your ranch dressing should stay below the counter. I think we can all agree, that would be for the best.
posted by mhoye at 8:51 PM on August 7, 2012 [6 favorites]


1st: That Alton Brown recipe takes 1 hr 55 min. Unless I am paying a domestic to make me a vegan flan I am not waiting two hours for any food.

2nd: I am so totally making the Sriracha Garlic Wings. I don't even need to get a domestic to do this! I can totally handle this one on my own (screw Alton).

3rd: The Oatmeal writes a letter in comic book form to Sriracha.

4th: I wrote a love letter to Sriracha. I put a stamp on it an mailed it. They didn't write back. I'm not linking to it because I promised grouse I wouldn't. I don't mind unrequited love. I think it's a wonderful thing. I keep a bottle of Sriracha within arm's reach at all times. If I were Christian I'd put it on the little wafer things and ask for seconds. If the church did this Sriracha might actually get me to go to church again. As it is now I will stay home and eat it on my eggs (this is what Jesus would do).

5th: My favorite hot sauce is currently Blair's. I also eat Dave's.

I could keep going on, but I won't.
posted by cjorgensen at 8:51 PM on August 7, 2012 [1 favorite]


A lot of people have been asking me if I am going to be doing the Chicken Wing Project in 2009.

I am not.

I love Chicken Wings and I eat them all the time. I ate them Sunday, Monday, and today. I love them, but I don't want to eat only Chicken Wings for the entire month of January again. I especially dont want to write about them.

I know a lot of people want me to do this again, but I have decided on my own not to do it.

I am sorry to disappoint you


The internet is one of humanity's grandest creations. A giant network of man made neurons whirring away in an interconnected web allowing many strangers from across the country, and possibly the globe, to pester and guilt a stranger into devouring buffalo wings for an entire month.


That is both the most amazing and, at the same time, the most depressing thing I've seen all day.
posted by sendai sleep master at 8:51 PM on August 7, 2012 [6 favorites]


Also, it's never too late to learn this classic bit of good chicken wing advice.
posted by jason_steakums at 8:54 PM on August 7, 2012 [11 favorites]


Also, it's never too late to learn this classic bit of good chicken wing advice .

That wasn't advice. That was magic!
posted by sendai sleep master at 8:58 PM on August 7, 2012 [2 favorites]


I'm not sure why anyone would want to dip beautiful buffalo wings into ranch, blue cheese, or any other kind of sauce.
posted by gyc at 9:00 PM on August 7, 2012 [2 favorites]


If we're discussing Buffalo wings, I must ask the following...

Which of you jackasses started dipping them in ranch?! What the hell is the matter with you? Ranch is a ubiquitous condiment that exists on dinner menus solely to signal to your dinner guest(s) that you are a person severely lacking in taste, and yet you decided to couple it with the caviar of bar food. That was a step too far.

In haste, I stopped at a Subway and considered getting a buffalo chicken sub, but alas... They only serve it with ranch. No blue cheese. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!!

If I ever see anyone attempt to dip our precious buffalo wings in that sludge, I will pick you up by your neck and slam you face first into your plate. And if you are in food service, the question of "ranch or blue cheese" had better be preceded with "are you Bathtub Bobsled?" if you value your safety.



I hate blue cheese.

I prefer ranch.

Blue cheese is "sludge" in my book.
posted by Malice at 9:07 PM on August 7, 2012 [1 favorite]


I used to work at a wing delivery place in Atlanta. This was run by some guys from Buffalo who came down there in the 70's and brought their signature bar food. They made a killing; no one had heard of this strange food before, and it caught on big.

So anyway, a customer calls, I take the order. "Tell the cook", he says. "That he's a pussy and he doesn't know how to make hot wings. I want them HOT".

"Sir," I said. "Don't ask me to do that. You are going to regret it." These Buffalo guys were really crazy, I mean, not entirely right in the head.

"Don't tell me what to say! Tell them they're weaklings and their hot wings are fit for little girls".

So I did. The main crazy set to work on just weaponized, horrifyingly hot wing sauce. I wish I could recreate the recipe, but I had to leave on a delivery. The guy called back later to apologize; I think he was crying.
posted by thelonius at 9:07 PM on August 7, 2012 [21 favorites]


As for the Ranch heresy... I swear that must be a West Coast thing. I never heard of anyone doing something so silly until I arrived in LA 16 years ago.

I don't think so...I left SoCal to go to school in Virginia in the early 90s. When I left, ranch in my hometown was for salads only. When I get to VA, they serve ranch with EVERYTHING including pizza, and there were definitely bars serving wings with ranch back then. Since then, I've noticed the ranch condiment plague spread.
posted by LionIndex at 9:10 PM on August 7, 2012


Bathtub Bobsled: "Which of you jackasses started dipping them in ranch?! What the hell is the matter with you?"

Oh god yes. I don't think I've ever favorited a comment that hard.

The first time I ordered pizza with friends after moving to Virginia, I slapped the container of ranch out of my buddy's hand, warning him "No! That's the wrong stuff! They accidentally sent us salad dressing!"

I walked away in disgust after being informed that ranch-on-pizza was perfectly acceptable. I was a long way away from New Jersey... Also, the pizza was terrible.
posted by schmod at 9:18 PM on August 7, 2012 [4 favorites]


It's Virginia's fault!!!
posted by LionIndex at 9:28 PM on August 7, 2012


Chicken is my favorite food and wings are my favorite piece of chicken and my favorite bit of wing is what we call the "two bone piece" rather than the "little drumstick piece." My idea of heaven is an order of wings made of nothing but two bone pieces!
posted by SweetTeaAndABiscuit at 9:36 PM on August 7, 2012 [1 favorite]


I agree that buffalo wings should be eaten with bleu cheese only, but homemade ranch dip is also pretty fantastic with potato chips and bacon crumbles. Just sayin'.

Speaking of buffalo hot sauce, here in SLC we have a pizza place that does a thin-crust pizza called "The Hot Chix" which is basically mozzarella, chicken, buffalo sauce and then a nice helping of gorgonzola all over the top. It is my second favorite thing in the whole world. *drool*
posted by Doleful Creature at 9:41 PM on August 7, 2012


LionIndex: "It's Virginia's fault!!!"

Heh. I was in Williamsburg. Where were you? I still see it a bit up in DC/NoVA, but nowhere nearly as much as I did down in Hampton Roads.

Oh, and thank god, the recent and much-needed influx of New Yorkers and New Englanders to DC and the Tidewater has finally brought us edible pizza -- some of it actually quite good.

I nearly puked the first time I ate "white" pizza in Virginia, which was a normal pizza minus tomato sauce, plus ranch. I was a fool for expecting them to know about ricotta.
posted by schmod at 9:42 PM on August 7, 2012


> I had some great ones from Portland of all places there. Portland!

How is this news? It's Portland. We have places dedicated to everything. Even hot wings with peanut butter or curry sauces.

Also, Pok Pok's fish sauce wings are something else.
posted by mrzarquon at 9:43 PM on August 7, 2012 [1 favorite]


SweetTea, I'm with you--the two-bone piece is the way to go. Thankfully, my partner's ideal wing is the drumstick bit, so I get all the nice flat ones and he has to eat the gross, less-crispy fat ones.

I eat them, obviously, with bleu cheese, the same way that all civilized people do. you ranch-eating heathens, what is wrong with you?

Also excellent: when making wings at home, do the traditional butter-and-Frank's mixture, but melt the butter and cook up a bunch of finely minced garlic in it. Then mix in the Frank's and pour it over your wings. Eat with blue cheese, obviously.
posted by MeghanC at 9:45 PM on August 7, 2012


Despite what you may think of Hooters, their wings are seriously good, and comes in a DIY version.
posted by billyfleetwood at 9:50 PM on August 7, 2012


I walked away in disgust after being informed that ranch-on-pizza was perfectly acceptable.

Dear God, that's like something out of a horror movie.
posted by smoke at 9:52 PM on August 7, 2012 [1 favorite]


How to eat the two bone piece (instead of the drumlet):

Grab the area with the knuckle or the more connected part of the two bones meet (around E in the above link) firmly between your thumb and middle+index finger.

Pick the wing up, and turn your hand over so your palm is facing down, and press the other end of the wing against the plate a little bit. You are trying to wiggle your finger tips to separate the meat from that end of the bone, and to ensure you have a nice, firm, grasp on the bones with your fingers.

Insert the entire wing into your mouth, bite down on the bones you had exposed with the above wiggling, and then pull the bones away from your mouth, leaving the entire wing's worth of meat in your mouth for you to enjoy. You even get the connective muscle between the two bones as well.

It is not the sexiest way to eat wings, but it is the lease mess (only get one hand dirty), and the most efficient.

And usually my friends in college would trade me two wings for every drumlet I had.
posted by mrzarquon at 9:53 PM on August 7, 2012


When I first ordered wings after moving to Tucson, the server asked if I wanted ranch or blue cheese, and I was just perplexed. Blue cheese? Duh? Then, on a few other occasions I had ranch served to me with my wings without asking, or even worse ordered wings at a place that only served ranch.

"They just do things different out here," I thought. "Don't judge them harshly, it's their culture."

Fuck that noise. The only times I have eaten ranch was with wings, and NEVER AGAIN! No compromise in the face of ranch!

And Jesus God, I thought the pizza dipping thing was simply for those addicted to fats more than I am. That's the only thing ranch is good for, anyway.

And ranch as a SAUCE? On PIZZA? FUCK THIS EARTH
posted by Snyder at 9:55 PM on August 7, 2012 [3 favorites]


How is this news? It's Portland. We have places dedicated to everything.

Good for you. As I said, it's a small festival. There are maybe 35 tables set up representing wing joints and 75% are from the Buffalo area. A place with excellent wings came all the way from Portland (they won an award in the 'Creative Spicy' category).
posted by troika at 9:56 PM on August 7, 2012


Sorry, I had read it as "Portland has good wings, who would have thought" not "These crazy guys came all the way from Portland for this little festival."

I've found that the guys who travel the furthest for whatever crazy food event can sometimes be the best ones there, since they were so intense about it they flew 3000 miles, etc.
posted by mrzarquon at 10:02 PM on August 7, 2012


Never, ever use ranch as a sauce on pizza. It is, however, perfectly acceptable with "pizza". If it came from the freezer section, you're pretty much not going to ruin it.
posted by jason_steakums at 10:02 PM on August 7, 2012


And ranch as a SAUCE? On PIZZA? FUCK THIS EARTH

To be fair, the pizza is so terrible out West that drowning it in ranch and hot sauce is the only way to make it edible.
posted by mek at 10:02 PM on August 7, 2012


mrzarquon: "> I had some great ones from Portland of all places there. Portland!

How is this news? It's Portland. We have places dedicated to everything. Even hot wings with peanut butter or curry sauces.

Also, Pok Pok's fish sauce wings are something else.
"

BTW, screw you for mentioning such deliciousness that is so geographically unfeasible for some of us. Methinks it is your turn to eat table now.

I keed, I keed...
posted by Samizdata at 10:03 PM on August 7, 2012


Bleugh. Wings are all fiddly bone annoyance, gristle, and skin. Waaaaay too much tediousness and mess to bother with. It's some of the worst bar food in existence.
posted by TheDonF at 10:04 PM on August 7, 2012


> Bleugh. Wings are all fiddly bone annoyance, gristle, and skin. Waaaaay too much tediousness and mess to bother with. It's some of the worst bar food in existence.

Learn how to eat them proper (see my above comment), and you can realize its a cheap, good eats, at times.
posted by mrzarquon at 10:06 PM on August 7, 2012


Before, I left, I was actually a bigger fan of Rooties who laid a very weak claim to the invention of wings. Used be able to get a bucket of 50 for five bucks and with a coupon twice that. Duff's too made a claim (no relation to Duff Beer). They were not quite as good, but they were very forgiving when it came to serving underage drinkers. On the national stage it isDuff's vs. Anchor Bar. Oh and Duff's had a another slight advantage as there used to be a branch of another Buffalo area favorite Mighty Taco across the street, and when the bars closed at four they were open. Along with great pizza, Weck, Ted's Dogs, Buffalo really does have great local food..too bad it's all the worst stuff for you. But a treat when back home to visit.
posted by Duck_Lips at 10:11 PM on August 7, 2012 [2 favorites]


mrzarquon - It was Fire on the Mountain, I think it was the Raspberry Habenero that won. And I could have been more clear in the initial comment, of course. Sorry about that.

Another feature of the Wing Festival: you can go bobbing for wings in a baby pool of bleu cheese. No ranch in sight.
posted by troika at 10:12 PM on August 7, 2012 [1 favorite]


I never thought of them as hot wings until my sister in law made them with Dave's insanity sauce. Those were some good wings.
posted by BrotherCaine at 10:13 PM on August 7, 2012


I never had Buffalo Wings until I had them from the Anchor, in Buffalo. Durkee sauce is it. Anything else ain't Buffalo wings. They ain't about the hot. That's some modern BS invented to cover the taste of the nasty salmonella-laced chickens sold in America these days. (FDA, keeping food processors RICH! Food safety is secondary)

For you Ranch haters: Blue cheese is correct on the wings. But don't knock Ranch. It's mighty tasty. At least, the original stuff certainly was. I've not had it in over 15 years, living abroad.
posted by Goofyy at 10:15 PM on August 7, 2012


The guy called back later to apologize; I think he was crying.

I would be apologizing for doubting them, and weeping in gratitude. Oh, and in the other thing, too.
posted by dhartung at 10:16 PM on August 7, 2012


And ranch as a SAUCE? On PIZZA? FUCK THIS EARTH

It wasn't anything as bad as that - when you order a pizza it just comes with a little container of ranch.

Heh. I was in Williamsburg. Where were you? I still see it a bit up in DC/NoVA, but nowhere nearly as much as I did down in Hampton Roads.

Charlottesville. Places there didn't even ask if you wanted ranch on the side, you just got it. I was mighty confused the first time we ordered pizza for delivery. In C-Ville, your "white pizza" would be "cheese breadsticks", at least at the College Inn, and served with containers of ranch and marinara.
posted by LionIndex at 10:27 PM on August 7, 2012


The "cheap" chain here has $1.25Tuesday/1.79 slices and they top their beef/moz with ranch. The new upstart chain that's probably going to kill them have $2 slices but their beef had more beef and moz and uses a bleu cheese sauce.

Going to have to try the Alton Brown technique. I can't usually re-use up the frying oil for frying a batch or two of wings before it goes off. Although it takes a lot more prep time, a lot more wings can be ready at the same time vs. the limitations of having to fry in small batches if you don't have a huge pot or don't want to use a couple of gallons of oil. It just seems wasteful to throw away oil.
posted by porpoise at 10:41 PM on August 7, 2012


Buffalo Chicken Wings. Oh god.

I grew up vegetarian (because my parents were vegetarian), but as I started traveling for work to all sorts of weird places, it became harder and harder to stay vegetarian. One fine afternoon, I said "screw it", and ate a steak (my Hindu genes were horrified) because I was just too hungry and really, really not in the mood for another potato salad with rye bread. It was tasty enough, but still, growing up vegetarian had meant that I didn't have much of a taste for non-vegetarian fare. I ate it because it was easier than looking for vegetarian stuff when I was by myself, and it was more "social" when I was in a group. Plus, I was tired of splitting the bill evenly, even though my food only cost about one-third of what I had to shell out.

Anyway, all this changed when I ate at this Mexican place in Tokyo. I think it was somewhere in Roppongi, within walking distance from Mori Towers (where I had a drink) and Geronimo (where I had some more drinks). This place served the world's best Buffalo Chicken Wings. That was the meal that finally converted me. Since that was my first time eating chicken wings, I just assumed that this is how chicken wings taste everywhere. I didn't note down the name of the place. Big mistake.

Ever since that day, I've been on the lookout for awesome chicken wings, but the taste of what that Mexican place served is yet to be met.

I guess what I am trying to say is that I just had lunch, and now I am hungry again.

PS: There is also a little Malaysian place in Soho (London) that serves awesome shredded chicken. I haven't found an equal to that yet either.
posted by vidur at 10:44 PM on August 7, 2012


Great story vidur! Raised from birth as a vegetarian - how would you compare trying chicken wings for the first time vs, say, the idea of eating bugs or worms? Or shellfish, beef?
posted by porpoise at 10:48 PM on August 7, 2012


Make your own pok pok wings at home! but search YouTube for Andy Ricker in "diners drive ins and dives" to see the steps and ingredients not included in the Food & Wine recipe I linked to.
posted by vespabelle at 10:54 PM on August 7, 2012 [1 favorite]


I'm itching to try them out with the transcendent KimKim Korean hot sauce. Seriously, any hot sauce connoisseurs out there: if you see a bottle of KimKim, pick it up. SO damned good.

If that article is at all accurate, this is just a bottled version of the stuff that every Korean household makes at home, for cold noodles and other stuff. Just made some last night to make some homemade bibim-myeon.

If you want to make it yourself, just get a tub of gochujang (red pepper paste (gochu means 'hot pepper' and jang (pronounced jahng) means 'paste' -- a staple that any store that sells Korean food will have), and mix it with a little rice vinegar or 3x apple vinegar, a little unrefined sugar to taste, finely mashed garlic and some crushed sesame seeds (optional). Taste as you go to get the proportions right, but it is lovely.

Pour it generously on some angel-hair-size wheat noodles that you've cooked then chilled, with some julienned cucumber and mu-u (the big white Asian radish, I dunno what it is in English), and maybe some finely chopped dark leafy lettuce (forget what that's called in English, too). Mix it all thoroughly (that's the bibim part -- same as in bibim-bap, where -myeon means noodles and -bap means rice), preferably in your own chilled stainless steel bowl, toss in half a hardboiled egg for some protein if you're feeling frisky, and go to town. Fantastic hot weather meal.

I'm not even exactly sure what buffalo wings are, to be honest.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 11:26 PM on August 7, 2012 [10 favorites]


Raised from birth as a vegetarian - how would you compare trying chicken wings for the first time vs, say, the idea of eating bugs or worms? Or shellfish, beef?

I should clarify that even though I grew up vegetarian, my parents didn't impose it on me as a value system. I never felt that eating vegetarian was a moral/ethical/religious or a "superior" act in some way. It was just the way things were at my house.

My parents were Hindus, but never really forced it on me. Quite the opposite, in fact. I had an entire shelf of books on different religions of the world, and they ranged in complexity from what a 5-year old could understand right through to really heavy theological musings. Along with a lot of other books, I read them all in my summer vacations and my daily spare time. I obviously didn't understand a lot of stuff, but that has never stopped me from reading anything. I stopped believing in God at an early age, and was never forced to reconsider. It wasn't even an issue of discussion. That's how unremarkable it was.

It short, I "grew up" a vegetarian, but wasn't "raised" as one.

So, I haven't really been revolted by any non-vegetarian dish. The most discomfort I ever felt was when I was served horse meat (the host told me it was young pony meat, and my heart grew heavy) at a dinner in Russia, but the feeling passed and it was quite an unremarkable dish actually. I enjoy all kinds of meat and seafood. I don't think I'd mind eating bugs either. I might draw the line at the raw worms eaten by Bear Grylls, but I'll be happy to try them deep fried.
posted by vidur at 11:26 PM on August 7, 2012


I know there's something about a bunch of people on the internet talking about ranch dressing that's so...well, it's like how ranch dressing tastes. Plus it's a derail from the FPP (hmm, was someone going for the August best post contest?), but I saw ranch dressing on pizza for the first time when I was about 13 or 14 (this was in San Francisco for what it's worth), and I also could not believe what I was seeing. I initially chalked it up to typical 8th-grade male eccentric behavior, just one guy doing something weird and "edgy" to get attention and be funny. But to realize it's a relatively common thing is breathtaking. It gives you a feeling akin to reading one of those "America/The Economy/World Govt's are doing this incredibly fucked up thing" articles that pops up on the blue fairly regularly (and usually gets 100+ comments). But anyway, to "close the loop of digression" as Stavros W.C. put it...

Uh, I guess I've said everything I wanted to say. That's it.
posted by MattMangels at 11:37 PM on August 7, 2012


Everybody who's too damn good to eat ranch with pizza and wings, please for the love of all that's holy send it to me.

I'm starving and haven't found a good local wing place yet.
posted by Space Kitty at 12:05 AM on August 8, 2012 [2 favorites]


Guys,

Ranch is good, just don't overdo it.

Sincerely,
Rupert W. Ranch
posted by LiteOpera at 12:09 AM on August 8, 2012 [3 favorites]


Still haven't found a suitable example of Buffalo wings in NYC but I have acquired a weakness for the unholy union of Buffalo wing pizza drizzled with bleu cheese from a place out in Brooklyn.
posted by Lex Tangible at 12:11 AM on August 8, 2012


I make whiskey wings when I don't make buffalo wings. Extra hot, of course! Have to try the Sriracha ones.
posted by vorfeed at 12:19 AM on August 8, 2012


We had BW3s 3 times a week in college. 30 cent Wing Tuesday, 50 cent Drumstick Wednesday, and 75 cent Tender Thursday. Between that and their around-the-world beer contest (still have the t-shirt), there are times I'm amazed none of my friends have heart conditions.
posted by hwyengr at 12:38 AM on August 8, 2012


to clarify -- good chicken wings don't need dip. dip (any dip) is a way to disguise shitty chicken wings.

This is how it's done ...

1. whole chicken wings (not the divided kind -- buffaloes don't have wings).

2. fill a plastic bag with flour, some garlic powder, salt, pepper, maybe a bit of chicken seasoning.

3. drop each wing into said bag, shake it up, get it fully coated.

4. lay the wings out on a baking pan (either well-greased, or on parchment paper, the no-stick kind)

5. brush a bit of soy sauce onto each wing (maybe mixed with some Lee + Perrins). But just a bit. Don't overdo it. The goal here is to actually taste the chicken.

6. bake in the oven at 415 degrees. 45 minutes.

7. pull the pan out, flip the wings, drop the temperature to 375. 40 more minutes.

8. eat the best chicken wings you'll ever have. Don't dip them in anything.

This is my mom's recipe -- at least fifty years old. There has never been a wing that didn't get eaten.



P.S. They don't even eat that Ranch stuff on ranches.
posted by philip-random at 12:39 AM on August 8, 2012 [4 favorites]


Tuesday was 10-cent-wing-night, and for two years my roommate and I scheduled our classes so that we finished at the same time. We'd walk by the BW-3, stand in line for half an hour and get $5 worth each.

That's fifty wings each, which remind's me of Man v Food's fifty wings in half an hour eating challenge. Really the sort of programme to watch when you're spending a day not eating much.
posted by MartinWisse at 1:03 AM on August 8, 2012


Uh, philip-random, don't you think an hour and 25 minutes is a bit much for a chicken wing? A whole chicken takes about that long.
posted by nestor_makhno at 1:05 AM on August 8, 2012 [1 favorite]


Oh Anchor Bar. It is a bit like seeing the statue of liberty and thinking you have experience NYC. It is a tourist place mostly. The wings are all right. Maybe they step up their game for the wing fest, but Buffalonians don't frequent the place.

Now, I am about to take side on an argument that is one of three things Buffalonians talk about the other two being the shitty weather and how much Buffalo sucks but fuck any outsider who says it) but LaNova is the classic wing. Any party there is bound to be LaNova wings and their pizza cut stupidly into squares (squares!). Is it the best wing? Sometimes. But at least half the time is is like spicey chicken jerkey on a bone. But, let's be honest. The wing doesn't matter. The wing is a vehicle for delivering wing sauce and blue cheese.

I only lived there for six years and am not a native. But I saw LaNova wings everywhere. From watching a game with friends, to playing D&D: jocks and nerds agree. Gov.Cuomo coming to town? Get some wings. I can't tell you how many three digit political fundraisers I worked that produced greasy checks. LaNova may not be the best, but they are the heart that pumps blue cheese through the queen city.
posted by munchingzombie at 1:15 AM on August 8, 2012 [1 favorite]


ilovethisthreadsomuch.jpg

And yes, I'm one of those horrible ranch people (even on pizza -- I'm a native southerner). But I also occasionally enjoy the blue cheese.

Consider yourselves lucky that some of you live in the US or Canada and can get good wings. I live in England. Wings are super cheap here because people use them as *gasp, shock, horror* "stock." And no one serves them. :(
posted by Ms. Moonlight at 2:16 AM on August 8, 2012


I am a heretic.

Because I don't like hot wings. I just don't. I like wings, a bit spicy, but there's a point, about the level it gets to 'hot' in the 'mild-medium-hot-reallyhot' scale where it's less the taste of a foodstuff and more like... well, to me, it's a taste/smell like gasoline.

I'll take my mild wings (without ranch or bleu cheese - ranch is for dipping carrots and celery in, bleu cheese is proof that God hates us and wants us dead), and sit back and enjoy my food.

As opposed to the guys I knew who went to a place that was one of those 'sign a waiver to be allowed to eat this because it's so hot', who just seem to endure their food.

(I really don't get the OH GOD, MY TONGUE IS CHARRING FROM THE SPICES SO GOOD thing about 'hot' food. I like food I can taste, not food that makes me cry.)
posted by mephron at 2:19 AM on August 8, 2012


I'd second the Food Lab recommendation for oven-fried wings. Until I read that, I was all gung-ho to try the Alton Brown method, but he demonstrates that the steaming doesn't seem to make much difference in side-by-side comparisons. Kenji's method works great, and fwiw I haven't found that you need anything like the 8-18 hours in the refrigerator that he calls for; they're still crispy on the outside, tender on the inside after only a couple hours drying out in the fridge. I think his proportions of butter:Frank's are wacky, though; we use way more Frank's.

And for the record, I preferred Duff's to Anchor Bar by a country mile.

Btw, my arteries say thanks a lot, people, for ensuring that I MUST MAKE WINGS this week.
posted by chalkbored at 3:36 AM on August 8, 2012 [1 favorite]


As a native Buffaloon I'll second munchingzombie's LaNova recommendation, also kick in Just Pizza's garlic parm wings, those are my current favs. Of course Duff's as well.
posted by Blake at 4:58 AM on August 8, 2012 [1 favorite]


My idea of heaven is an order of wings made of nothing but two bone pieces!

When I made the Sriracha Garlic Wings [though with sambal oelek, since I am a man of fine discernment], I made them with nothing but two bone pices - which I obtained from the butcher at Wild Oats.

That much pleasure should be illegal.
posted by Egg Shen at 5:11 AM on August 8, 2012


What is wihh you people? Chicken wings are gristle, skin and bone. You eat that stuff? I'll bet you like that weed cilantro too.
posted by Splunge at 5:16 AM on August 8, 2012 [1 favorite]


I would guess someone who thought that blue cheese tastes like a festering wound smells.

Seriously. There must be some nightmare puppy-mill like building in France where teenagers, oily and chained to the wall, squeeze out their pimples into a communal vat. The vat simmers long over a low heat and occasionally a teen, despairing of their fate, will slip their chains and throw themselves into it, their body rendered down to those rancid chunks, their berets and stripey shirts dissipating into those horrible blue veins. "More puss! More tears! More BLEU!" screams the old blind woman in the corner as she knits the straining shroud out of the hair of the dead.

Contrast this horrible scene of foreign traditional awfulness with the clean art deco lines of a Ranch Production Facility. Serious looking men with smart haircuts and pristine labcoats stroll with purpose between stainless steel basins where the Earth's finest petrochemicals are processed into stable deliciousness. With Science. Over the intercom, a woman's voice announces that Jenkins' first son has just been born. Jenkins nods stoically to his coworkers at their promise of a celebratory tonic water when the shift is done, but his focus is on the task at hand, each quality threshold methodically checked off on his clipboard.

I have a serious of woodcuts depicting these two scenes for sale, called Ranch Street and Bleu Lane.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 5:17 AM on August 8, 2012 [16 favorites]


1. I would like to note that I was ahead of the curve in hating ranch on anything except salad and crudite. But I don't use any type of dipping sauce on all except the very very hottest of wings, and even then I don't use blue cheese sauce on the wings directly, but only on the celery and/or carrots that may accompany an order.

2. I have some sort of strange synchronicity-type relationship with Buffalo Wild Wings (formerly BW3, even more formerly Buffalo Wild Wings and Weck, colloquially B-dubs). Twice in my life a BW3 has opened just a few blocks from where I was living. I've been eating at various BW3s since 1994, and twelve of those eighteen years in close proximity to one or another, where I've eaten 2+ times/week.

3. Strongly agreed that wings should not be breaded. Although I'm actually OK with the breaded processed chicken things that BW3 and other chains call "boneless wings" as long as I remind myself to think of them as chicken nuggets and not wings. But actual wings should not be breaded.

4. I visited the Anchor Bar in 2005, and started out with their "hot" wings, and was unimpressed by the level of heat—roughly the same as BW3's medium sauce, in my estimation. So I decide to go for an order of the "Suicide" wings—which I found like BW3's Blazin' sauce (their hottest), and only managed to eat four of them (out of an order of ten). I will likely be in Buffalo later this year, and I've been deliberately building up my tolerance in order to make another attempt at the Suicide wings. I'm to the point that I can eat six Blazin' wings before I even touch the blue cheese & celery, and would like to work up to a dozen of those. When I went to the Anchor Bar in 2005 I had never eaten more than two Blazin' wings at a time. (And yes, I know the Anchor Bar doesn't have the best wings in Buffalo, but that's not the point. It's the sort of thing you do to be able to say you've done it.)

5. The heat level on the wings of the Canadian "Wild Wings" chain (not to be confused with Buffalo Wild Wings, which has recently started expanding into Canada) is pathetic. Doesn't matter if you have ~90 wing flavors (although most of those are combinations of a handful of basic flavors) if none of them have a decent amount of heat.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 5:18 AM on August 8, 2012 [1 favorite]


I was going to say something, but robocop... whoa. *slow clap, backs away slowly*
posted by Ella Fynoe at 5:18 AM on August 8, 2012


Chicken wings are gristle, skin and bone. You eat that stuff? I'll bet you like that weed cilantro too.

You know you're not supposed to eat the gristle and bone, right? But the skin is part of what makes wings wonderful, and decent wings have a decent amount of meat on them. And despite your assumptions, I hate cilantro.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 5:20 AM on August 8, 2012


When I first ordered wings after moving to Tucson, the server asked if I wanted ranch or blue cheese, and I was just perplexed. Blue cheese? Duh? Then, on a few other occasions I had ranch served to me with my wings without asking, or even worse ordered wings at a place that only served ranch.

These people, along with the ones who will serve you a "martini" made with vodka if you don't specify otherwise, are the principal reason I wish to disinter Dante to see if he'd be willing to add a post-hoc extra circle of hell.
posted by Mayor West at 5:35 AM on August 8, 2012 [5 favorites]


The Bleu Cheese is there for the celery. You dip the celery in the bleu cheese, and the cream and the cheese in a good Bleu Cheese dressing will cool the burn. It's a palette cleanser to keep the heat from getting out of hand. I am boggled people dip the wings right into the dressing.

Ranch can sort of cool, as it's part buttermilk, I suppose. The flavors seriously clash with the buffalo sauce, tho - ranch and vinegar is not a good combination, where Bleu Cheese is strong enough to overcome.
posted by Slap*Happy at 5:39 AM on August 8, 2012 [3 favorites]


Also, ranch dressing is not mysterious, and tastes very good. Ranch Dressing Flavored Condiment Substance is mysterious and tastes dreadful.

Ranch is mayo and buttermilk in a 3:2 ratio, a bit of garlic, a few grinds of black pepper and fresh herbs chopped fine: tarragon, parsley, basil, cilantro. It's a splendid all-purpose sort of dip.

The stuff they serve at restaurants ain't ranch, it's some sort of tangy-oil concoction where the primary flavor component is "petrochemical".
posted by Slap*Happy at 5:59 AM on August 8, 2012 [2 favorites]


These people, along with the ones who will serve you a "martini" made with vodka if you don't specify otherwise, are the principal reason I wish to disinter Dante to see if he'd be willing to add a post-hoc extra circle of hell.

No need for that. They can go in Circle 6, round 3, the Violent Against Nature.
posted by thelonius at 6:04 AM on August 8, 2012


Wait, Circle 6 is heretics. Maybe that's better anyway.
posted by thelonius at 6:10 AM on August 8, 2012 [2 favorites]


So no one's going to stick up for John Young (mentioned at the end of Calvin Trillin's article as a possible competitor to the Anchor Bar for title of inventor of the Buffalo wing)?

Anyway, this is my favorite wing recipe. Although I seem to have defective capsaicin recptors on my tongue, because I usually double the number of habaneros and leave in the seeds and membranes and still don't find it particularly hot. I also start the sauce before I cook the wings, to give it a little longer to simmer and blend the flavors.

Durkee sauce is it. Anything else ain't Buffalo wings.

At least here in GA, Durkee's is sold as Frank's.
posted by TedW at 6:10 AM on August 8, 2012


Blue cheese is disgusting, period, though I understand that many people enjoy it and so more power to them.

But ranch on pizza? WTF? I'd never heard of that before this thread, and I'm almost speechless in my horror. People really do this?
posted by Forktine at 6:18 AM on August 8, 2012


LionIndex: "Charlottesville. Places there didn't even ask if you wanted ranch on the side, you just got it"

Ah, yes, but Christian's is pretty much the sole exception to the rule that all pizza in the south is horrible.
posted by schmod at 6:21 AM on August 8, 2012


Hehe... people not getting blue cheese.

If you've ever had the good stuff. A fantastic roquefort or something similar from Europe. Not turned into a US style "sauce", but a little crumble of it on a very plain water cracker.

Then you would soon understand why it is the cocaine of cheese (or do you deny cheese is a drug?).
posted by panaceanot at 6:28 AM on August 8, 2012 [1 favorite]


(I really don't get the OH GOD, MY TONGUE IS CHARRING FROM THE SPICES SO GOOD thing about 'hot' food. I like food I can taste, not food that makes me cry.)

Well, different people have different tolerance levels, and tolerance for nuclear pepper sauces is something generally built up slowly over time.

One of the things to consider is the nature of your sauce, i.e. whether its heat comes from the peppers themselves or from capsaicin extracts. A habanero or Scotch Bonnet pepper, for instance, is hot far beyond the tolerance of most people, but it has a distinct and pleasant flavor as well as heat. If the ingredients list has something like "Oleoresin Capsicum" on it, however, that's contributing just raw heat and nothing else. Products containing that are generally classified as "food additives" or "extracts" rather than hot sauces, and are not for direct human consumption. Once you go beyond what natural peppers provide, it's more for collectors' sake or a game of can-you-top-this by sauce manufacturers than for eating.

A local restaurant has an entertainingly sadistic wing challenge. You only have to consume six wings in four minutes, albeit coated with their Armageddon sauce containing bhut jolokia peppers, but you get NO assistance; no napkins, no drinks, no standing up, no wiping your hands or mouth, no utensils, no distractions from the pain. If you succeed, you're not done yet; they reset the clock to five minutes and you have to remain in your seat, same rules applying, marinating in your own personal inferno until the timer is up. Survive that and you win and can run off to dunk your head in a bucket of milk or whatever else your chosen remedy is.
posted by delfin at 6:36 AM on August 8, 2012 [3 favorites]


delfin, "No standing up" is the killer. When me and the boys used to eat the naga jolokias off the bush, wandering in circles with hands atop the head seemed to be the preferred way of dealing with the pain.

Though, are you allowed to stand up after you eat the last wing?
posted by Seamus at 6:40 AM on August 8, 2012 [1 favorite]


Not until the five minute follow-up timer expires. Shrieking, however, is legal.
posted by delfin at 6:44 AM on August 8, 2012


No lovin for the best chicken wings I've ever had, Las Alitas, south of the border?
posted by Admira at 6:47 AM on August 8, 2012


Hehe... people not getting blue cheese.

If you've ever had the good stuff. A fantastic roquefort or something similar from Europe. Not turned into a US style "sauce",


I'm pretty sure anyone referring to "blue cheese" in this thread, until you, were using it as shorthand for blue cheese sauce. I've never heard of straight-up blue cheese (not in a sauce) being served with Buffalo wings.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 6:47 AM on August 8, 2012


Well, by that time, the pain will be receding and the eater will be entering the blissful, endorphin stage of the process. Rough.
posted by Seamus at 6:48 AM on August 8, 2012


So no one's going to stick up for John Young

He didn't chop the wings in half. [He judged that "tampering with them".]

Teressa Bellissimo chopped the wings in half.

It was the chopping in half, thus facilitating eating-with-fingers, that sparked the explosion. User friendliness, if you like.

Think of Mrs. Bellissimo as the Steve Jobs of the wing.
posted by Egg Shen at 6:58 AM on August 8, 2012 [3 favorites]


If that article is at all accurate, this is just a bottled version of the stuff that every Korean household makes at home, for cold noodles and other stuff.

Stavros, I spoke to Steve Kim at the recent Fancy Food Show in D.C., and while the Korean sauce you're referencing is definitely the inspiration for it, he tinkered with it to create what is being bottled and sold today. It's great stuff.
posted by shiu mai baby at 7:19 AM on August 8, 2012


When wings became a huge thing in the eighties I lived in Niagara Falls ON there was a place and I have always remembered it as the Peppermint Ice cream factory. It was a little place in a weird back industrial area (Again MAYBE) they had the BEST sauce ever. We would ride our bikes and get 2 pounds of wings and RC Cola. The RC Cola would BURN so bad after eating the wings it was awesome. Since that time I have remembered the sauce and tried to find anything similar, it was sticky and hot and had a flavour that was both exotic and boring (like maybe it used ketchup)... I found ONE place that came soooo close but they have closed down since. IF anyone knows or remembers that place let me know.

OR If you know the place and know the secret please let me know... I have tried to find the recipe for 20 years by trying a different sauce every time I make wings [including ketchup based] but nothing is even close.

Ranch sauce is gross with wings... the right thing to have is Bleu Cheese (which you then look at sniff and discard)
posted by mrgroweler at 7:23 AM on August 8, 2012


AskMe thread from a few years ago about the difference between drumsticks and drumettes.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 7:36 AM on August 8, 2012


I know ranch. I like ranch. When ranch needs me, I'll be there for it.

But for all-purpose dipping-into-creaminess, Cafe Rio tomatillo dressing is That Before Which All Else Is Judged And Found Wanting.

After I dispense the treasure, I'm left with a tablespoon thinly coated with Cafe Rio tomatillo dressing. You think I'm just going to put it directly in the sink?

No, sir. After making sure that no one is looking, I lick the tablespoon - surrendering my body to the obscene shudder of pleasure that convulses it.
posted by Egg Shen at 7:40 AM on August 8, 2012


Is it to late to join the ranch pile-on? It is ok for salads and potato chips, but I'll never understand why anyone would think it is good for buffalo wings or pizza. Actually, I'll never understand why anyone thinks pizza needs a dipping sauce at all. If you think pizza needs to be dipped in something, you probably have never had good pizza. Especially if that something is ranch.
posted by mysterpigg at 7:46 AM on August 8, 2012 [1 favorite]


Now,I am about to take side on an argument that is one of three things Buffalonians talk about the other two being the shitty weather and how much Buffalo sucks but fuck any outsider who says it) but LaNova is the classic wing

Not Duff's? The thing about Duff's is they use mutant superman chickens with ginormous meaty wings.

I wonder if LaNova is jist the classic wing you can get delivered?

Also Buffalonians complaining about the weather are idjits who need to be sentenced to a D/FW summer.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:06 AM on August 8, 2012 [1 favorite]


I wonder if LaNova is jist the classic wing you can get delivered?

FWIW, as someone who has never gotten within 100 miles of Buffalo, even I've heard of La Nova wings.

Could be just hype, for all I know. But they've got the rep, for sure.
posted by Egg Shen at 8:11 AM on August 8, 2012


Uh, philip-random, don't you think an hour and 25 minutes is a bit much for a chicken wing? A whole chicken takes about that long.

Try it. Takes a little more than 1hr-25 sometimes, other times a little less (depending on the size of the wings). What you get are nicely crispy wings that (due to the flour, I guess) have not dried out. Like I said, my mom's recipe for over fifty years. I just made a batch last week.

Perfect.
posted by philip-random at 9:32 AM on August 8, 2012


This guy did a side-by-side test of Alton Brown's steam-then-bake method and found no difference in the result, despite the sound theory.

His method? Toss the wings with a small amount of baking powder and salt and then let air dry in the fridge before roasting in the oven. This results in crispier skin, better browning, and even little faux-deep-fryer air bubbles.
posted by AceRock at 9:46 AM on August 8, 2012 [1 favorite]


Some of you are way, way too against OTHER people NOT eating Ranch - even making it a political issue.

Let me clear this up right now.

Blue cheese tastes like dirt to some people. I also can't eat raw onions, while others happily munch away at them. RANCH, on the other hand, is delicious ambrosia that I will happily put on anything except for sweets.

I am sure YMMV.

tl;dr: Everyone tastes differently, deal with it.
posted by Malice at 10:45 AM on August 8, 2012


Errol Morris interviews El Wingador.
posted by jonp72 at 10:47 AM on August 8, 2012


Duff's is better.
posted by glaucon at 11:35 AM on August 8, 2012


A fantastic roquefort or something similar from Europe.

...is still horribly reminiscent of puppy farts, sorry.
posted by elizardbits at 1:23 PM on August 8, 2012 [1 favorite]


I want to eat from your puppy's asshole, sorry.
posted by Ice Cream Socialist at 2:02 PM on August 8, 2012 [5 favorites]


...is still horribly reminiscent of puppy farts, sorry.

Some of us just aren't blue cheese people. I'm also not a ranch person, leaving me to enjoy wings, wings, glorious wings.
posted by Forktine at 3:02 PM on August 8, 2012


Intense, burning desire to eat wings amazingly not squashed by puppy asshole eating comment. Go wings!
posted by spec80 at 3:16 PM on August 8, 2012 [1 favorite]


I thought, this is the best thread ever, and I really need to go get some wings. And then there were puppy assholes. And then I thought, nope, this is still the best thread ever and I'm still going to go get some wings RIGHT NOW.

The place I'm going does this weird thing where they serve you naked wings, a container of the wing sauce, and a container of homemade blue cheese dip. Normally I'd consider this an abomination, but a) the wings are so perfectly cooked and the blue cheese so piquant and delicious that it's worth it and b) I just come home, dump the wings in a bowl, and pour the sauce over them anyway.

While we're spewing hyperbolic vitriol everywhere, can we take a moment to discuss what kind of sicko decided that breading was an acceptable component of hot/buffalo wings? I didn't even know it was a thing until I went to a wings place while traveling and was presented with tiny pieces of fried chicken wing pieces coated in this awful thick breading that got all gummy and gross when the sauce soaked in and came off the chicken when I dipped it in the blue cheese. I mean, what the hell, why would you DO that?
posted by rhiannonstone at 3:57 PM on August 8, 2012 [4 favorites]


Agreed on the breading! I order wings partly because I eat low carb, and they're one of the few pub foods which aren't covered in starch... except when they are, which drives me nuts. See also: the obnoxious trend toward "boneless" wings, which are really just a fig leaf for grown-ass adults too (rightfully) embarrassed to order chicken nuggets at a bar.
posted by vorfeed at 4:41 PM on August 8, 2012


I just come home, dump the wings in a bowl, and pour the sauce over them anyway.

Seems like a good way to go about it from a take-out perspective; keeping the dressing separate from the wings lets them stay hot and crispy longer. They really ought to be dressed only right before serving.

And to people who dislike blue cheese in general, let alone Roquefort of all things, the king of cheeses: that's OK, more for me.
posted by mek at 5:00 PM on August 8, 2012 [1 favorite]


I don't really care that much about boneless, but Boneless wings = dark meat, chicken nuggets = stitched together pieces of white meat. Also, chicken nuggets are always breaded, and boneless wings may or may not be. Also, the sauce on wings is often sugary enough to make them carby even without the breading.

People who don't like blue cheese can keep their ranch, just don't act like you are doing me any favors by serving it to me.
posted by BrotherCaine at 5:31 PM on August 8, 2012


This thread made me eat wings twice today -- but not buffalo style. At lunch I had some soy sauce wings friom a Chinese BBQ place. They are about the furthest thing possible from a crispy, spicy wing, but still tasty. Then at dinner I had crispy breaded wings drenched in sugary Thai chili sauce from the little izakaya place where my friends and I have become regulars. I like to pretend that they are not a carbohydrate nightmare.

My favorite place in Toronto for buffalo-style wings is Sneaky Dees (aka Sneaky Disease). They forgo the blue cheese/ranch battle by serving their wings with a very yummy avocado-sour cream dip.
posted by sevenyearlurk at 8:54 PM on August 8, 2012


BrotherCaine: Also, the sauce on wings is often sugary enough to make them carby even without the breading.

Not the sauce on traditional wings. The traditional wing sauce is Louisiana-style hot sauce (which is just cayenne pepper and vinegar) and butter. My preferred Louisiana sauce is Frank's, which adds garlic powder to the basic cayenne. Zero carbs.

Now, sriracha and many other sauces have tons of sugar, true. And god, how I miss sriracha... some day, my precious. Some day.
posted by gilrain at 8:58 PM on August 8, 2012 [2 favorites]


Now, sriracha and many other sauces have tons of sugar, true. And god, how I miss sriracha... some day, my precious. Some day.

I am about to become your hero.

This bottle of sriracha that I am holding in my hand right now has only 1g of sugar per serving. Go get that magic rooster sauce, my friend, and burn your tastebuds out of this samsara.
posted by munchingzombie at 11:32 PM on August 8, 2012 [2 favorites]


1st: That Alton Brown recipe takes 1 hr 55 min. Unless I am paying a domestic to make me a vegan flan I am not waiting two hours for any food.

Nice going: your hyperbole just knocked out slow cooked pork. Enjoy your tough ribs and a world without pulled pork shoulder.

Also, please, learn some names people if you want adults to take your opinion seriously: drumettes, wingettes. This one bone/two bone nonsense is like listening to a five year old.
posted by Ogre Lawless at 4:58 AM on August 9, 2012


> Go get that magic rooster sauce, my friend, and burn your tastebuds out of this samsara.

Skip the rooster, get Thai and True's version, which is also fairly low sugar (but not no sugar), or just try some Secret Aardvark, which is also fairly low sugar.
posted by mrzarquon at 9:47 AM on August 9, 2012


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