I am the Hammer, they are the nails!
August 14, 2012 11:22 AM Subscribe
Lowell "The Hammer" Stanley looks like your garden-variety local personal injury lawyer famous for some kooky commercials. Someone remixed them and the result is nothing short of amazing.
This guy's office is just down the street from where I live. His commercials have (unfortunately) been burned into my brain over the years.
posted by Benny Andajetz at 11:27 AM on August 14, 2012
posted by Benny Andajetz at 11:27 AM on August 14, 2012
Lowell is just a cheap rip-off of Rochester's Jim "The Hammer" Shapiro.. He was doing this in the 90s. Lowell even stole Jim's nickname. There can be only one! What a turd.
posted by Mayor Curley at 11:29 AM on August 14, 2012 [12 favorites]
posted by Mayor Curley at 11:29 AM on August 14, 2012 [12 favorites]
It's the exploding cars, flames and smoke in the background that make the video. Gives the impression that crazy, angry dude will hammer the court with napalm to get you your cash.
posted by zarq at 11:30 AM on August 14, 2012
posted by zarq at 11:30 AM on August 14, 2012
Maybe he can help people like this guy take on Flo.
posted by homunculus at 11:33 AM on August 14, 2012
posted by homunculus at 11:33 AM on August 14, 2012
PUSH THEM, POUND! PUNISH THEM, POUND!
YOU DON'T WANNA SEE IT DONE
YOU DON'T WANNA SEE IT DONE
And... flames! I love this so very much.
posted by mochapickle at 11:37 AM on August 14, 2012 [1 favorite]
YOU DON'T WANNA SEE IT DONE
YOU DON'T WANNA SEE IT DONE
And... flames! I love this so very much.
posted by mochapickle at 11:37 AM on August 14, 2012 [1 favorite]
I was prepared for this not to be amazing. But then it was.
That's going to replace the "Jake and the Neverland Pirates" theme song for Thing That Is Burned Into My Brain For Days, so I thank you.
posted by middleclasstool at 11:39 AM on August 14, 2012 [1 favorite]
That's going to replace the "Jake and the Neverland Pirates" theme song for Thing That Is Burned Into My Brain For Days, so I thank you.
posted by middleclasstool at 11:39 AM on August 14, 2012 [1 favorite]
He was doing this in the 90s.
Yeah, right down to "you call, I hammer!" But he (Shapiro) got disbarred, didn't he? Or died? The hammer is dead, long live the hammer!
posted by tyllwin at 11:48 AM on August 14, 2012
Yeah, right down to "you call, I hammer!" But he (Shapiro) got disbarred, didn't he? Or died? The hammer is dead, long live the hammer!
posted by tyllwin at 11:48 AM on August 14, 2012
Not disbarred, but suspended. He no longer practices law.
posted by yerfatma at 11:51 AM on August 14, 2012
posted by yerfatma at 11:51 AM on August 14, 2012
This is awesome.
Saul is going to have to up his game. (Warning: autoplaying Flash critter).
posted by maudlin at 11:55 AM on August 14, 2012
Saul is going to have to up his game. (Warning: autoplaying Flash critter).
posted by maudlin at 11:55 AM on August 14, 2012
Lowell is just a cheap rip-off of Rochester's Jim "The Hammer" Shapiro.. He was doing this in the 90s.
This guy has been doing this at least 30 years. The first youtube video of him is dated 1992, but he's been around longer than that.
posted by Benny Andajetz at 12:01 PM on August 14, 2012
This guy has been doing this at least 30 years. The first youtube video of him is dated 1992, but he's been around longer than that.
posted by Benny Andajetz at 12:01 PM on August 14, 2012
Saul is going to have to up his game.
I think in these guys' circles, it's more like downing their game.
posted by mannequito at 12:07 PM on August 14, 2012
I think in these guys' circles, it's more like downing their game.
posted by mannequito at 12:07 PM on August 14, 2012
You can't give yourself a nickname.
posted by Navelgazer at 12:19 PM on August 14, 2012 [3 favorites]
posted by Navelgazer at 12:19 PM on August 14, 2012 [3 favorites]
Is the hammer his penis?
posted by littlesq at 12:34 PM on August 14, 2012 [2 favorites]
posted by littlesq at 12:34 PM on August 14, 2012 [2 favorites]
I kind of do want to see it done.
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 12:47 PM on August 14, 2012 [8 favorites]
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 12:47 PM on August 14, 2012 [8 favorites]
I've watched it about five times now. I think there are another five coming.
posted by Vhanudux at 1:30 PM on August 14, 2012
posted by Vhanudux at 1:30 PM on August 14, 2012
davebo15, I served with Steve Porter, I knew Steve Porter, Steve Porter was a friend of mine. davebo15, you're no Steve Porter!
posted by adamms222 at 2:07 PM on August 14, 2012
posted by adamms222 at 2:07 PM on August 14, 2012
Regardless of which Hammer was first, it's still a great video.
posted by AnnElk at 2:26 PM on August 14, 2012
posted by AnnElk at 2:26 PM on August 14, 2012
YESSSSSSSSS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
posted by sgt.serenity at 2:31 PM on August 14, 2012
posted by sgt.serenity at 2:31 PM on August 14, 2012
There was a morning radio show in Hampton or Norfolk that I used to listen to when I had a summer job in Newport News, and they had hilariously funny take-offs. It was around the time that movie Cutthroat Island came out--I remember because they did a parody called Deepthroat Island in which Geena Davis does a porno do revive her sagging career ("There she blows!").
Their Lowell "The Hammer" Stanley bit went something like this:
"Have you been injured? We fight with BARE KNUCKLES to get your money! Call 555-CASH! 555-CASH! 555-CASH!"
(DJ: "What's that number again?")
"555-CASH! We'll show those sons of BITCHES at the insurance company that you mean business! While you're in the HOSPITAL doing PEE-PEES and DOO-DOOS we will lay down the hammer, etc, etc"
Anyway I would appreciate if anyone knows the radio station/show and especially if there is an online archive. I would love to hear this again!
posted by mjklin at 2:59 PM on August 14, 2012
Their Lowell "The Hammer" Stanley bit went something like this:
"Have you been injured? We fight with BARE KNUCKLES to get your money! Call 555-CASH! 555-CASH! 555-CASH!"
(DJ: "What's that number again?")
"555-CASH! We'll show those sons of BITCHES at the insurance company that you mean business! While you're in the HOSPITAL doing PEE-PEES and DOO-DOOS we will lay down the hammer, etc, etc"
Anyway I would appreciate if anyone knows the radio station/show and especially if there is an online archive. I would love to hear this again!
posted by mjklin at 2:59 PM on August 14, 2012
I remember these commercials being on the air all the time, but the ones that came on later at night were the best. I distinctly remember one where he said something akin to, "We'll NAIL their ASSES to the wall!" and another where he mentions that he has the "brass balls" to "fight for YOOOOU!!"
mjklin, sounds like that would have been a bit from FM99's morning show. A quick Googling didn't help, though.
posted by sephira at 4:31 PM on August 14, 2012
mjklin, sounds like that would have been a bit from FM99's morning show. A quick Googling didn't help, though.
posted by sephira at 4:31 PM on August 14, 2012
Anyone else getting sick of these "remixes'? This shit is so old already.
posted by ReeMonster at 6:02 PM on August 14, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by ReeMonster at 6:02 PM on August 14, 2012 [1 favorite]
Nope. We all think they are awesome.
posted by hellphish at 6:51 PM on August 14, 2012 [3 favorites]
posted by hellphish at 6:51 PM on August 14, 2012 [3 favorites]
I stay out of threads and do not click on links that go to the sort of stuff I am tired of.
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 8:16 PM on August 14, 2012 [3 favorites]
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 8:16 PM on August 14, 2012 [3 favorites]
never trust a man who wears the same red tie every day for 30 years
posted by facetious at 9:16 PM on August 14, 2012
posted by facetious at 9:16 PM on August 14, 2012
mjklin, that had to have been Z104, right? The morning show was, and apparently still is, the Morning Zoo (original) but I don't remember that bit.
posted by juliplease at 10:06 PM on August 14, 2012
posted by juliplease at 10:06 PM on August 14, 2012
Is it just me, or did Gene Simmons probably watch some "Hammer" commercials before appearing in Extract as personal injury lawyer Joe Adler? (This scene.)
posted by mark7570 at 7:28 AM on August 15, 2012
posted by mark7570 at 7:28 AM on August 15, 2012
Crikey, what a flashback to my Virginia days. I can't believe this guy is still around.
posted by Rarebit Fiend at 9:26 PM on August 16, 2012
posted by Rarebit Fiend at 9:26 PM on August 16, 2012
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posted by k5.user at 11:26 AM on August 14, 2012