Comments on: Seed a large prone turkey

Seed a large prone turkey

superquail — Wed, 15 Aug 2012 16:36:05 -0800

How to Eat Like Your Favorite Authors

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Wed, 15 Aug 2012 16:37:59 -0800

I don't see " cigarettes, apples, and poorly chosen English lords" on there.

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Wed, 15 Aug 2012 16:39:55 -0800

Also Franzen looks like he's about to tell me theres no bodies cause he's eaten all the bodies.

By: TheWhiteSkull

TheWhiteSkull — Wed, 15 Aug 2012 16:44:08 -0800

Oh shit, my favorite author is Rabelais.

By: chimaera

chimaera — Wed, 15 Aug 2012 16:45:24 -0800

I'm more interested in what Metafilter's Own™ Favorite Authors think are notable recipes or preferred foods. Like MiguelCardoso, or jscalzi, or cstross.

By: BitterOldPunk

BitterOldPunk — Wed, 15 Aug 2012 16:45:52 -0800

OF COURSE Jonathan Franzen's pasta with kale is "handsome", "elegant", "private", "erotic", "virtuous", and "delicious". Of course it fucking is.

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Wed, 15 Aug 2012 16:49:00 -0800

I'm more interested in what Metafilter's Own™ Favorite Authors think are notable recipes or preferred foods. Never Fail Roast Duck

By: Sys Rq

Sys Rq — Wed, 15 Aug 2012 16:54:08 -0800

*reads more (i.e. some) F. Scott Fitzgerald*

By: PhoBWanKenobi

PhoBWanKenobi — Wed, 15 Aug 2012 16:58:26 -0800

Oh man, I got all excited that maybe this would have been a link to my friend Fran Wilde's cooking the books series, which is an interview series featuring spec fic authors discussing food in their fiction & real lives.

By: samofidelis

samofidelis — Wed, 15 Aug 2012 17:03:31 -0800

But DFW didn't know food for shit; he ate his steaks well done. He had Downstate Illinois Syndrome. And how am I supposed to find out what Pynchon eats. It's pretty neat that Elizabeth Bishop introduced brownies to Brazil. I have an unfinished thought about chicken and waffles -- traditional Virginia soul food -- involving Thomas Jefferson, who was given the first waffle iron in the colonies, and Sally Hemings, whose taste in fusion cuisine clearly exceeded her taste in men. I need a connection to the War of Roses and to 19th century German coal tar chemists and I can telephone James Burke.

By: Postroad

Postroad — Wed, 15 Aug 2012 17:05:25 -0800

HOW to drink like the author you admire would be , well, more fun

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Wed, 15 Aug 2012 17:07:42 -0800

And how am I supposed to find out what Pynchon eats. one small cube of the finest hashish served in a windowless room lit by the light of explosions.

By: GenjiandProust

GenjiandProust — Wed, 15 Aug 2012 17:16:04 -0800

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Wed, 15 Aug 2012 17:18:16 -0800

How To Eat Your Favorite Authors is a totally different kind of book.

By: twoleftfeet

twoleftfeet — Wed, 15 Aug 2012 17:20:28 -0800

I myself am such a wonderful writer and such a sensitive gourmand that I often eat my words.

By: Artw

Artw — Wed, 15 Aug 2012 17:24:13 -0800

To eat like HP Lovecraft, of course, requires: Please get any resulting abdominal pains checked.

By: kozad

kozad — Wed, 15 Aug 2012 17:24:18 -0800

Kafka's dinner out: I would imagine that his restaurant dining would resemble the plot of The Castle, and of Bunuel's The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie. In other words, you'd probably want to have some cheese, crackers and wine at home for later.

By: twoleftfeet

twoleftfeet — Wed, 15 Aug 2012 17:35:14 -0800

I've been using the Ayn Rand diet for a few months. I only eat foods that I've produced myself, with absolutely no help from anyone else. I'm proud to say that I've lost 50 pounds. Though, really... I was only 150 pounds when I started. Please help me. I'm hungry.

By: jscalzi

jscalzi — Wed, 15 Aug 2012 17:35:39 -0800

If you want to eat like me, six cans of Coke Zero and a handful of Red Vines will do just fine. Yes, I will be dead in five years. ENJOY ME NOW, PEOPLE.

By: snorkmaiden

snorkmaiden — Wed, 15 Aug 2012 17:35:59 -0800

I like to cook from Haruki Murakami novels. I would be very interested to know what he himself eats, since what his characters eat is often delicious.

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Wed, 15 Aug 2012 17:43:04 -0800

I'm grilling a pork lion with sweet corn and snow peas covered in butter while also talking about the drives and forces in the soy narrative, so you have that.

By: twoleftfeet

twoleftfeet — Wed, 15 Aug 2012 17:52:19 -0800

pork lion Yummy pork lion. I prefer King David's Lamb Delight because when I chow down with the lambs and the lions I like the lambs. Basted.

By: BrashTech

BrashTech — Wed, 15 Aug 2012 18:11:49 -0800

When I told a friend that Roger Zelazny died of stomach cancer, he said, "That's not very surprising. All his main characters had really unhealthy diets."

By: thisclickableme

thisclickableme — Wed, 15 Aug 2012 18:15:57 -0800

See also: Reader, I Marinated It, for recipes in the words of Woolf, Chaucer, and Chandler. No points for guessing who this is: "An hour and a half and a half-pint of bourbon later they weren't so tough and neither was I."

By: RakDaddy

RakDaddy — Wed, 15 Aug 2012 19:00:49 -0800

I'm gonna make Franzen's recipe and grate half a wheel of Parmesan over it, then put a picture of me eating it and loving it on Twitter with the hashtag #ScrewYouICanEatMyPastaHoweverIWantYouTwat. I'm looking for candidates for a pithier hashtag.

By: passerby

passerby — Wed, 15 Aug 2012 19:05:55 -0800

How To Eat Your Favorite Authors is a totally different kind of book. *Reads title again, carefully* *Spits flecks of Franzen and kale onto monitor* *Grabs bug-out bag*

By: mullacc

mullacc — Wed, 15 Aug 2012 19:05:57 -0800

heh, beets.

By: jenfullmoon

jenfullmoon — Wed, 15 Aug 2012 19:33:04 -0800

If you want to eat like me, six cans of Coke Zero and a handful of Red Vines will do just fine. Yes, I will be dead in five years. ENJOY ME NOW, PEOPLE. In that case, you'd better start writing quickly....

By: Ghidorah

Ghidorah — Wed, 15 Aug 2012 19:45:47 -0800

I was going to say Murakami's menu would be something like: Boil pasta, but not too long. Listen to jazz on vinyl. Or possibly classical music on the radio. Make a delicious, yet improbable sounding sauce based on whatever cans are in the pantry. Don't forget an appetizer, no matter how simple. Perhaps mashed sardines with mustard on saltines. Or maybe a salad. Lettuce with cucumbers. Leave out the sad wilted tomato. This is important. Sit to eat your meal. You are alone, though perhaps you thought you wouldn't, or shouldn't be. Drink a can of beer with dinner. Notice the music has changed while you were eating. With this realization, stand up, clear of both sets of plates, because she didn't come home for dinner after all. Change music to something more appropriate. Drink another beer while washing the dishes. Notice it has gotten dark. Turn on the light, or don't. Continue drinking beer until there is a small collection of empties, although you don't feel drunk. Wait for the phone to ring, but be aware that it will not ring, or if it does, it will not be the person you are waiting for. Most likely it will be someone you've never met in waking life, or have at best a tangential third degree relationship with. They will say cryptic things that make little sense now, but later, you will understand what they meant, but most likely your realization will have come too late to be of any use. Open another beer. Sit at the table. Wait.

By: padraigin

padraigin — Wed, 15 Aug 2012 20:04:29 -0800

I understand why I am so drawn to Fitzgerald now, anyway.

By: maxwelton

maxwelton — Wed, 15 Aug 2012 20:07:22 -0800

Women only eat dessert?

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Wed, 15 Aug 2012 20:36:28 -0800

Women only eat when men aren't looking. So if you're quick you can catch themfrozen, weeping angels style, laughing at salad.

By: twoleftfeet

twoleftfeet — Wed, 15 Aug 2012 22:13:15 -0800

Recipes and household tips from great writers

By: ostro

ostro — Wed, 15 Aug 2012 22:17:38 -0800

Most representative of the person: Franzen, Ginsberg. Except that I lose 2 points for betting with myself, upon seeing the title of Franzen's recipe, that it was going to be whole-wheat pasta. It wasn't. If you want to mourn for the state of American letters a bit, try picturing pasta with Franzen, graciously permitting you to grind some pepper over your wilted leaves, as opposed to Suitable for Summer Dinner with Ginsberg, with a table covered with spring onions! lettuce! radishes! and pink soup! When you stir the sour cream into it, it turns a color most people last saw on their Barbies. Least representative of the person: Nabokov. Dude, I was at least expecting some truffles or mysterious unknown American mushrooms or something.

By: Snyder

Snyder — Wed, 15 Aug 2012 23:19:13 -0800

To eat like HP Lovecraft, of course, requires: 1. A can of beans, possibly expired 2. 6 crackers 3. Ice cream, if you can manage some with your depleted finances. 4. Writing materials, to tell 7-12 pen pals about it. I remember reading in a letter Lovecraft wrote (I believe to Robert E. Howard) that he liked eating doughnuts and cheese for breakfast. Found it: I'm not, however, a heavy eater—take only 2 meals per day, since my digestion raises hell if I try to eat oftener than once in 7 hours. In winter, when it's too cold for me to go out much, I subsist largely on canned stuff. I always get my own breakfasts, anyway—doughnuts and cheese. I have financial economy in eating worked out to a fine art, and know the self-service lunch rooms where I can get the best bargains. I never spend more than $3.00 per week on food, and often not even nearly that. H.P. Lovecraft to Robert E. Howard, 7 November 1932 Speaking of industrio-economic matters—let me assure you that a 2-or-3-dollar-a-week dietary programme need not involve even a particle of malnutrition of unpalatability if one but knew what to get and where to get it. The tin can and delicatessen conceal marvellous possibilities! Porridge? Mehercule! On the contrary, my tastes call for the most blisteringly high-seasoned materials conceivable, and for desserts as close to 100% C12H22O11 as possible. Indeed, of this latter commodity I never employ less than four teaspoons in an average cup of coffee. Favourite dinners—Italian spaghetti, chili con carne, Hungarian goulash (save when I can get white meat of turkey with highly-seasoned dressing). H.P. Lovecraft to Mrs. Fritz Leiber, 20 December 1936 Here is the rest of that page detailing H.P.L.'s comestible preferences.

By: Splunge

Splunge — Thu, 16 Aug 2012 00:25:25 -0800

Pre-packaged sushi and a stimulant derm. -William Gibson

By: GenjiandProust

GenjiandProust — Thu, 16 Aug 2012 05:37:21 -0800

ENJOY ME NOW, PEOPLE. How... How exactly do you mean this?

By: Jahaza

Jahaza — Thu, 16 Aug 2012 08:07:27 -0800

The Sartre Cookbook:

... Still working on the omelet. There have been stumbling blocks. I keep creating omelets one after another, like soldiers marching into the sea, but each one seems empty, hollow, like stone. I want to create an omelet that expresses the meaninglessness of existence, and instead they taste like cheese. I look at them on the plate, but they do not look back. Tried eating them with the lights off. It did not help. Malraux suggested paprika. ...

By: doyouknowwhoIam?

doyouknowwhoIam? — Thu, 16 Aug 2012 08:12:30 -0800

I always hated Fitzgerald, but that Turkey Cocktail is delicious. Of course, I added gin. I add gin to everything, which probably explains my pleasant demeanor, and your attractiveness.

By: Artw

Artw — Thu, 16 Aug 2012 08:20:43 -0800

C12H22O11 of course being sugar - Lovecraft was such a nerd.

By: peacheater

peacheater — Thu, 16 Aug 2012 08:50:01 -0800

I'm going to try Rushdie's lamb korma recipe -- looks good to me! And Hemingway suggests frying the trout in Crisco! Sign of the times I suppose.

By: Splunge

Splunge — Thu, 16 Aug 2012 09:00:56 -0800

As they say, it's better than spit.

By: L'Estrange Fruit

L'Estrange Fruit — Thu, 16 Aug 2012 13:03:22 -0800

I have gallstones. Got diagnosed two weeks ago and I can't eat any fat. EVERYTHING WORTH EATING HAS FAT IN IT.* *Except for salsa and baked potatoes and asparagus and artichoke hearts. It's been a wonderful excuse to eat huge amounts of asparagus. "I HAVE TO! MEDICAL REASONS""

By: Samizdata

Samizdata — Thu, 16 Aug 2012 20:56:06 -0800

RakDaddy: "I'm gonna make Franzen's recipe and grate half a wheel of Parmesan over it, then put a picture of me eating it and loving it on Twitter with the hashtag #ScrewYouICanEatMyPastaHoweverIWantYouTwat. I'm looking for candidates for a pithier hashtag." #MyPastaMyWayYouMewlingQuim?

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Thu, 16 Aug 2012 21:01:15 -0800

Your pasta told me your whole plan.

By: ifjuly

ifjuly — Fri, 17 Aug 2012 15:07:12 -0800

Sad, I didn't see Colette's "If I can't have too many truffles, I'll do without truffles." Also always amused about how in the Savoy Cocktail Book the essay on wine in the back appears to be by her.