Your html is borked. -- Bertrand Russell. posted by tzikeh at 5:47 PM on August 19, 2012 [15 favorites]
"The Internet is the best way to cherry-pick inaccurate sources and misattributed quotations." - Ernest Hemingway, 1844. posted by mhoye at 5:47 PM on August 19, 2012
Your html is borked. -- tzikeh posted by Bertrand Russell at 5:47 PM on August 19 [+][!]
And honestly, if the functionality that prevents making comments that include <small> markup to look like the comment footer could be lifted for just one thread... this would be the one. posted by hincandenza at 5:51 PM on August 19, 2012 [2 favorites]
This meme is going to so fuck with our future etymologists and historians. posted by TwelveTwo at 5:52 PM on August 19, 2012 [2 favorites]
Or as the great Churchill said, "To misattribute is human, to riff divine." posted by The Whelk at 5:54 PM on August 19, 2012
"Capital is reckless of the health or length of life of the laborer, unless under compulsion from society." ~ Dave Wyndorf posted by MikeMc at 5:56 PM on August 19, 2012
I believe it was James Agee who wrote "Check your links before you post, motherfucker." posted by davidjmcgee at 5:56 PM on August 19, 2012
''If, with the literate, I am
Impelled to try an epigram,
I never seek to take the credit;
We all assume that Oscar said it.''
These are, in the main, very well chosen. posted by kenko at 6:10 PM on August 19, 2012
Haha, the newspaper I edit at college does this when we need to fill space. It's called the "(mis)quotation of the week". We try to make it as full of non-sequitors as possible. Fun! posted by papayaninja at 6:12 PM on August 19, 2012 [1 favorite]
"I did not have sexual relations with that woman."
"Whenever I hear the word culture I reach for my gun." - Honoré de Balzac posted by The Whelk at 6:14 PM on August 19, 2012 [1 favorite]
"I've had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane." -Amelia Earhart posted by davidjmcgee at 6:15 PM on August 19, 2012 [26 favorites]
“There’s no place like home.” — Odysseus
“To Infinity and beyond!” — Rene Descartes
“I’m the king of the world.” — Alexander the Great
“Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.” — Niccolo Machiavelli
“Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” — Paris of Troy
“Greed, for lack of a better word, is good.” — Adam Smith posted by Tell Me No Lies at 6:20 PM on August 19, 2012 [3 favorites]
"Good morning. In less than an hour, aircraft from here will join others from around the world. And you will be launching the largest aerial battle in the history of mankind. 'Mankind.' That word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can't be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests. Perhaps it's fate that today is the Fourth of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom... Not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution... but from annihilation. We are fighting for our right to live. To exist. And should we win the day, the Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day the world declared in one voice: 'We will not go quietly into the night!' We will not vanish without a fight! We're going to live on! We're going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence Day!"
In this vein is the Misattributions tumblr, focused more on current events.
The Mitt Romney one is killer. posted by Cash4Lead at 6:33 PM on August 19, 2012
" Fuck you. That's my name. You know why, mister? 'Cause you drove a Hyundai to get here tonight, I drove an eighty thousand dollar BMW. *That's* my name." ~ Mohandas K. Gandhi posted by MikeMc at 6:35 PM on August 19, 2012 [8 favorites]
"We're adding a little something to this month's sales contest. As you all know, first prize is a Cadillac Eldorado. Anybody want to see second prize? Second prize is a set of steak knives. Third prize is you're fired." -- Eugene V. Debs posted by tzikeh at 6:42 PM on August 19, 2012 [1 favorite]
"The answer my friend is blowing in the wind"
--Rear Admiral Sir Francis Beaufort posted by TedW at 6:44 PM on August 19, 2012
Americans adore me and will go on adoring me until I say something nice about them. - Aristotle
I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by. - Alexander the Great
The most common of all follies is to believe passionately in the palpably not true. It is the chief occupation of mankind. - Gilgamesh posted by rainy at 7:15 PM on August 19, 2012 [1 favorite]
I am gonna run out of favorites on this thread, I just
know it. - Emily Post posted by dejah420 at 7:28 PM on August 19, 2012
"Well Farrakhan's a prophet and I think you ought to listen to
What he can say to you, what you ought to do" -Jesus posted by drezdn at 7:29 PM on August 19, 2012
"Here's my number, Call me maybe."
-Anthony Weiner posted by vozworth at 7:30 PM on August 19, 2012 [2 favorites]
"Strike me down with all of your hatred and your journey towards the dark side will be complete!"-King George III posted by drezdn at 7:37 PM on August 19, 2012 [1 favorite]
"...there were horses, and a man on fire, and I killed a guy with a trident." Calvin Coolidge. posted by drezdn at 7:40 PM on August 19, 2012 [5 favorites]
"I did it like this
I did it like that
I did it with a whiffle ball bat." - Christopher Marlowe posted by elizardbits at 7:51 PM on August 19, 2012 [2 favorites]
"We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold..." -Phyllis Schafly posted by drezdn at 7:52 PM on August 19, 2012 [2 favorites]
Who put the bomp in the bomp bah bomp bah bomp?
Who put the ram in the rama lama ding dong?
Who put the bop in the bop shoo bop shoo bop?
Who put the dip in the dip da dip da dip?
"Bitch is bad
There is none badder
But she's got more crabs than a seafood platter." - William Kidd posted by elizardbits at 7:54 PM on August 19, 2012
"Oh my god, Karen, you can't just ask people why they're white!" - Tsangpa Gyare Yeshe Dorje posted by elizardbits at 7:55 PM on August 19, 2012
"So we gonna smoke a ounce to this
G's up, hoes down, while you motherfuckers bounce to this." - Gilbert du Motier, marquis de Lafayette
"Well I'm peepin', and I'm creepin', and I'm creepin'
But I damn near got capped, 'cause my beeper kept beepin'" -Sarah Palin posted by davidjmcgee at 7:58 PM on August 19, 2012
"I wasn't even supposed to be here today!" George W. Bush posted by drezdn at 7:59 PM on August 19, 2012 [9 favorites]
"You're gonna need a bigger boat." ~ Ernest Hemingway posted by MikeMc at 8:00 PM on August 19, 2012 [6 favorites]
Forty whacks with a wet noodle, Bart! -- J. Edgar Hoover posted by Cash4Lead at 8:00 PM on August 19, 2012 [2 favorites]
"What we have here is a failure to communicate." Helen Keller posted by drezdn at 8:07 PM on August 19, 2012 [7 favorites]
"Gimme some water
Cause I shot a man
On the Mexican border
Cool, cool water
Gimme some water
I need a little water" ~ Jan Brewer posted by MikeMc at 8:09 PM on August 19, 2012
"I wish I could eat your cancer when you turn black." Cole Porter posted by drezdn at 8:11 PM on August 19, 2012
"Try not to suck any dick on your way to the parking lot!" Arthur Miller posted by drezdn at 8:14 PM on August 19, 2012
"Noinch, Noinch, Noinch, Schmokin Weed, Schmokin' Weed, Doin' Coke, Drinkin' Beers... " ~ George W. Bush That one's for drezdn... posted by MikeMc at 8:20 PM on August 19, 2012 [2 favorites]
"Them other boys don't know how to act
I think it's special what's behind your back
So turn around and I'll pick up the slack" Benjamin Franklin
"Take 'em to the Bridge." Thomas Jefferson posted by drezdn at 8:22 PM on August 19, 2012 [1 favorite]
"Game over, man! Game over!" George Patton posted by drezdn at 8:26 PM on August 19, 2012
"Ass
Titties
Ass n titties
Ass ass titties titties ass n titties" - Eleanor Roosevelt posted by elizardbits at 8:26 PM on August 19, 2012 [8 favorites]
"I don't want to be Mr. Pink." John Adams posted by drezdn at 8:28 PM on August 19, 2012 [1 favorite]
"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." Manfred von Richthofen posted by drezdn at 8:37 PM on August 19, 2012
"If I can't practice, I can't practice. It is as simple as that. It ain't about that at all. It's easy to sum it up if you're just talking about practice. We're sitting here, and I'm supposed to be the franchise player, and we're talking about practice. I mean listen, we're sitting here talking about practice."-Yo Yo Ma posted by drezdn at 8:39 PM on August 19, 2012 [1 favorite]
"And this is Jackass."
- Thích Quảng Đức posted by kafziel at 8:39 PM on August 19, 2012 [1 favorite]
"I'm no good at being noble, but it doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. Here's lookin' at you kid."
"With my mind on my money and money on my mind." Marcel Proust posted by drezdn at 9:00 PM on August 19, 2012
Fourscore and... seven minutes ago... we, your forefathers, were brought forth upon a most excellent adventure conceived by our new friends, Bill... and Ted. These two great gentlemen are dedicated to a proposition which was true in my time, just as it's true today. Be excellent to each other. And... PARTY ON, DUDES!
"Now my name is M.C.A. I've got a license to kill/ I think you know what time it is it's time to get ill/ Now what do we have here an outlaw and his beer/ I run this land, you understand I make myself clear." Marvelous Chester Arthur posted by drezdn at 9:03 PM on August 19, 2012
"I love the smell of napalm in the morning." - Pyrrhus of Epirus
"E.T. phone home." - St. Augustine
"Rosebud." - Sardanapalus
"Bond. James Bond." - Albert Einstein
"You can't handle the truth!" - Martin Heidegger posted by rainy at 9:03 PM on August 19, 2012 [1 favorite]
"You've got to know when to hold 'em. Know when to fold 'em. Know when to walk away. Know when to run." -Satchel Paige posted by drezdn at 9:06 PM on August 19, 2012
"Islands in the steam. That is what we are." -Ezra Pound posted by drezdn at 9:07 PM on August 19, 2012
"It isn't the men in my life; it's the life in my men." -- Victor Frankenstein posted by tzikeh at 9:11 PM on August 19, 2012 [8 favorites]
"Where we're going, we don't need roads." George Jones posted by drezdn at 9:13 PM on August 19, 2012
"In God we trust, all others bring data." -- Moses posted by amorphatist at 9:14 PM on August 19, 2012 [1 favorite]
Epicurus was a birther. posted by homunculus at 9:46 PM on August 19, 2012
"The test of the morality of a society is what it does for its children."
-- Joe Paterno posted by benzenedream at 11:02 PM on August 19, 2012 [2 favorites]
"Nonviolence is the first article of my faith. It is also the last article of my creed." - Hitler, after his creed ran out. posted by vidur at 11:25 PM on August 19, 2012
I prefer troll quotes, which combine a quote, photo, and attribution from three different folks.
"Like of a woman has sex on top, she can't get pregnant. It's just gravity." -- Todd Akin posted by Cash4Lead at 6:20 AM on August 20, 2012
"Kickin’ in the front seat. Sittin’ in the back seat. Gotta make my mind up. Which seat can I take? It’s Friday, Friday. Gotta get down on Friday. Everybody’s lookin’ forward to the weekend, weekend"-Shakespeare posted by drezdn at 6:57 AM on August 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
"Yippee Ki Yay, Mother Fucker." Mother Theresa posted by drezdn at 7:01 AM on August 20, 2012
Hey all! Ms. Attribution here.
Thanks for the kind responses; truth be told, it's kind of terrifying to be on this side of the Blue, so I'm happy to see that such a simple (and addictive) project has amused.
For the record, I fully plan on stealing a bunch of the ideas listed here (with proper Ms Attribution, naturally, and assuming no one minds, that is.) posted by quin at 7:11 AM on August 20, 2012 [3 favorites]
Hah, now I want to make a "creator shows up in MeFi post highlighting their work" entry on MeTa, only with a SHOCKING TWIST below the fold. posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 8:53 AM on August 20, 2012
"What do you mean I hurt your feelings? I didn't know you had any feelings." ~ Ted Hughes posted by MikeMc at 9:01 AM on August 20, 2012 [2 favorites]
Metafilter: Fucking with future etymologists and historians posted by Billiken at 9:02 AM on August 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
" [They] are who we thought they were! That's why we took the damn field. Now if you want to crown them, then crown their ass! But they are who we thought they were! And we let 'em off the hook." Robert E. Lee posted by drezdn at 3:38 PM on August 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
"So tell me what you want, whatcha really really want."
-Martin Luther King posted by vozworth at 7:03 PM on August 20, 2012
"And I'm talking to myself at night because I can't forget
Back and forth through my mind behind a cigarette" - Sun Tzu posted by elizardbits at 8:28 PM on August 20, 2012
"The police aren't here to create disorder. The police are here to preserve disorder." - J. Edgar Hoover
"I like big butts and I cannot lie." - Pope John Paul II posted by SisterHavana at 11:43 PM on August 20, 2012 [3 favorites]
"Well I'm not uptight
Not unattracted
Turn me on tonight
Cause I'm radioactive"
-J. Robert Oppenheimer
"These pretzels are making me thirsty!" - George W. Bush posted by SisterHavana at 11:55 PM on August 20, 2012 [1 favorite]
Now if we start slipping in some accurately attributed quotes then we have it made! posted by TwelveTwo at 12:15 AM on August 21, 2012
Pain is weakness leaving the body - Marquis de Sade
That pairs nicely with:
"Hit me baby one more time"
--Leopold von Sacher-Masoch posted by TedW at 8:16 AM on August 21, 2012 [4 favorites]
"Unchain my heart!" - Prometheus posted by Mental Wimp at 8:39 AM on August 21, 2012
"Waterloo, I was defeated, you won the war
Waterloo, promise to love me forevermore
Waterloo, couldn't escape if I wanted to
Waterloo, knowing my fate is to be with you"
-Napoleon Bonaparte posted by SisterHavana at 9:40 AM on August 21, 2012 [2 favorites]
Now if we start slipping in some accurately attributed quotes then we have it made!
Like this?
Elementary my dear Watson, elementary - P. G. Wodehouse
(It's from Psmith, Journalist. I swear I am not making this up) posted by It's Never Lurgi at 10:41 AM on August 21, 2012
posted by hincandenza at 5:46 PM on August 19, 2012 [1 favorite]