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True Love's Kiss?
August 26, 2012 9:00 AM   Subscribe

Sleeping Beauty performance art exhibit in Ukraine. Young women are taking turns "sleeping" at the National Art Museum in Kiev and will not "wake" until a (male) museum patron kisses one of them. There's a catch, though: If he kisses one of them, they have to get married. There's video. And here's the artist's page.
posted by Cash4Lead (47 comments total) 6 users marked this as a favorite

 
So unlike the chivalrous charmers of yore, these contemporary heroes are contractually bound to live happily ever after if their princess so chooses.

I am not sure "happily ever after" is the most likely outcome....
posted by GenjiandProust at 9:04 AM on August 26, 2012 [4 favorites]


What the
posted by localroger at 9:06 AM on August 26, 2012 [2 favorites]


In the original version of the tale, prince charming fucks her in her sleep.
posted by idiopath at 9:07 AM on August 26, 2012 [16 favorites]


Sometimes the stupidity of news-article comment boards verges on the sublime:

What if I put my butt to her lips? Will she have to marry it?
posted by Countess Elena at 9:11 AM on August 26, 2012 [21 favorites]


The original version that idiopath links to -- with the princess having sex and birthing babies in her sleep -- is really complex psychological material, and arguably a much better fairy tale.

I love this performance art project. We hear stories countless times and yet we rarely encounter opportunities to connect with them in such literal ways.
posted by hermitosis at 9:12 AM on August 26, 2012 [3 favorites]


This is a weird idea. Are any riff-raff allowed in? An endless procession of slobbering dudes wouldn't exactly be something I'd sign up for even for art.
posted by cjorgensen at 9:15 AM on August 26, 2012 [1 favorite]


Christ, just how difficult is it to date in the Ukraine?!
posted by Foci for Analysis at 9:19 AM on August 26, 2012 [7 favorites]


Boy, that escalated quickly.
posted by tommasz at 9:21 AM on August 26, 2012 [3 favorites]


Can anybody who knows more about law than me comment on the legality of this?
posted by madcaptenor at 9:22 AM on August 26, 2012


Can anybody who knows more about law than me comment on the legality of this?

"Anyone can be bribed."
posted by griphus at 9:25 AM on August 26, 2012 [2 favorites]


This is a weird idea. Are any riff-raff allowed in?

I expect it will be popular with the kind of American men who think that American women are all cold, heartless money-grubbers, whereas outside of North America, the ladies really know how ladies are supposed to be.

Aside: I always loved Phil Lamarr's voice acting, but I never knew that was what he looked like.
posted by Countess Elena at 9:26 AM on August 26, 2012 [4 favorites]


HUMAN male museum patron?
LIVING human male museum patron?
CONSCIOUS living human male museum patron?

Well damn, I'm out of ideas.
posted by TwelveTwo at 9:28 AM on August 26, 2012


If he kisses one of them, and she opens her eyes, they have to get married.

Not that that's much of an out.
posted by kenko at 9:38 AM on August 26, 2012 [1 favorite]


In the original version of the tale, prince charming fucks her in her sleep.

Also he did not stand trial for that, as the Wicked Witch of another kingdom was suspected to desire his torture for stealing her secret diary.
posted by jaduncan at 9:39 AM on August 26, 2012 [9 favorites]


I don't see how you could possibly enforce this. If one or the other says, "Nope, not happening. I'm out of here." you going to force them to marry at gunpoint?
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 9:40 AM on August 26, 2012


Can anybody who knows more about law than me comment on the legality of this?

IANAL (Law student), but I don't think that this is the kind of contract that would be enforced in a common law court (although Hungary's system may well differ) because it's unsupported by consideration: it's just a gratuitous promise to marry. I've seen cases where spurned grooms have recovered engagement rings (in contractual terms, he was giving the diamond ring in exchange for the promise to marry, and once the promise is broken, there was a breach), but I've never seen a bare promise to marry enforced by a court of law. Can you see the insane results that would flow from such a rule?

Hope this helps.
posted by anewnadir at 9:45 AM on August 26, 2012 [3 favorites]


If one or the other says, "Nope, not happening. I'm out of here." you going to force them to marry at gunpoint?

They've signed contracts. As indicated in the article. You would, I suppose, bring the to court for breach of contract, or whatever th relevant tort (or whatever) is.
posted by kenko at 9:47 AM on August 26, 2012


Sometimes the stupidity of news-article comment boards verges on the sublime:

What if I put my butt to her lips? Will she have to marry it?
posted by Countess Elena at 11:11


Yes, she will. I am a Ukrainan judge. This is a legally binding butt contract.
posted by samofidelis at 9:54 AM on August 26, 2012 [28 favorites]


Despite myself, I actually think that this is really hilarious and clever.
posted by Sticherbeast at 10:02 AM on August 26, 2012


At length I became as rich as the Gurneys
An incubus then I thought her
So I threw over that rich attorney's
Elderly, ugly daughter
The rich attorney my character high
Tried vainly to disparage
And now, if you please, I'm ready to try
This breach of promise of marriage

Though all my law be fudge
Yet I'll never, never budge
And I'll live and die a Judge
And a good Judge too
posted by kyrademon at 10:17 AM on August 26, 2012


If one or the other says, "Nope, not happening. I'm out of here." you going to force them to marry at gunpoint?
They've signed contracts. As indicated in the article. You would, I suppose, bring the to court for breach of contract, or whatever th relevant tort (or whatever) is.
Ah, suing for tort. The fundamental basis of a strong and happy marriage!
posted by Flunkie at 10:22 AM on August 26, 2012 [1 favorite]


Ah, suing for tort. The fundamental basis of a strong and happy marriage!

You don't know anything about buttlaw.
posted by samofidelis at 10:35 AM on August 26, 2012 [20 favorites]


What if I put my butt to her lips? Will she have to marry it?

What's great about this is that it suggests that the people who kiss the orthodox way are only committing their lips to marriage. "Hey babe. I don't know what you're complaining about. You only married my lips!" Talk about giving lip service to something.
posted by yoink at 10:36 AM on August 26, 2012 [4 favorites]


They've signed contracts. As indicated in the article.

It read more like promises on paper written by an artist than a real contract. Yes, I realize all contracts are just promises on paper, but these didn't exactly have much legalese in them unless they were just paraphrased.
posted by cjorgensen at 10:37 AM on August 26, 2012


Ah, suing for tort. The fundamental basis of a strong and happy marriage!

Remedy: specific performance.
posted by jaduncan at 10:38 AM on August 26, 2012 [1 favorite]


This might be my new favorite misstatements-of-law thread on MetaFilter.
posted by cribcage at 10:40 AM on August 26, 2012 [1 favorite]


cjorgensen: "I realize all contracts are just promises on paper, but these didn't exactly have much legalese in them"

The signature provides power, the legalese provides precision. A less legal sounding contract can be much more onerous, depending.
posted by idiopath at 10:41 AM on August 26, 2012


I SAY GOOD DAY TO YOU, SIR
posted by samofidelis at 10:41 AM on August 26, 2012 [2 favorites]


This is brilliant on several levels. It's playing with the idea of fairy tales and love at first sight and attraction and a archaic idea of commitment in a modern world.

Fascinating.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 10:41 AM on August 26, 2012 [5 favorites]


What if a girl kisses one and she opens her eyes?
posted by delfin at 10:43 AM on August 26, 2012 [1 favorite]


"The [Ukrainian] Constitution specifically defines marriage as a voluntary union between a man and a woman."

Void due to impossibility, if we're not bothering to look up Ukrainian law.
posted by jaduncan at 10:50 AM on August 26, 2012 [1 favorite]


But the contract, and the act of the kiss etc. was presumably entered into voluntarily.
posted by anazgnos at 10:52 AM on August 26, 2012


Ah, suing for tort. The fundamental basis of a strong and happy marriage!

I was imagining that it would be the artist suing one or both of the parties, which is even weirder.
posted by kenko at 10:57 AM on August 26, 2012


If he kisses one of them, and she opens her eyes, they have to get married.
Not that that's much of an out.


But she could open *one* eye, and then go back to 'sleep,' if she didn't like what she saw, right?
posted by randomination at 11:29 AM on August 26, 2012 [4 favorites]


But when Tilda Swinton was sleeping in that other gallery they said I wasn't allowed to kiss her.
posted by ceribus peribus at 11:34 AM on August 26, 2012


What if a girl kisses one and she opens her eyes?

I'd assume the girl is straight if she's entering something where she'd marry a man, and that's why they're letting men only kiss them.
posted by Malice at 11:56 AM on August 26, 2012


Also he did not stand trial for that, as the Wicked Witch of another kingdom was suspected to desire his torture for stealing her secret diary.

And it was later discovered that she had been busy deleting entries from her twitter stream (in her sleep?) while the alleged crime was taking place.
posted by bashos_frog at 12:27 PM on August 26, 2012 [1 favorite]


Here's a faster loading youtube video link, in which one sleeping beauty explains her strategy:
If it's my true love I will feel it on an intuitive level.
Secondly, if I don't feel it, I won't open my eyes.
Okay then. Seems foolproof to me.
posted by ceribus peribus at 12:31 PM on August 26, 2012 [3 favorites]


Not opening her eyes is foolproof enough.

Granted she probably has to deal with hundreds and hundreds of creepy fedora wearing American bros who have traveled thousands of miles to slobber on a real feeling women who isn't a money grubber. I'm sure it's easy enough to tell the riff raff apart though, as the good luck fist bumps he gets in line before his turn is up. That and the neg he works into his opener before he goes in for the score usually are the dead giveaways.

Save your money, bros, they're onto you!
posted by Rocket Surgeon at 1:13 PM on August 26, 2012 [4 favorites]


IANAL (Law student), but I don't think that this is the kind of contract that would be enforced in a common law court (although Hungary's system may well differ) because it's unsupported by consideration: it's just a gratuitous promise to marry. I've seen cases where spurned grooms have recovered engagement rings (in contractual terms, he was giving the diamond ring in exchange for the promise to marry, and once the promise is broken, there was a breach), but I've never seen a bare promise to marry enforced by a court of law. Can you see the insane results that would flow from such a rule?

It's Ukraine, not Hungary.

It's civil law, not common law. There are significant differences. They're fascinating and I hope you get exposed to some of them in school.

I do agree with you about the insane results.
posted by Salamandrous at 2:47 PM on August 26, 2012


I am curious how many will be opening their eyes. I think it's interesting as performance art, but a touch too risky for life.
posted by corb at 3:03 PM on August 26, 2012


This happened to me once, and I married a butt.

True story.
posted by found missing at 4:11 PM on August 26, 2012 [3 favorites]


What about herpes? :(
posted by ODiV at 4:24 PM on August 26, 2012


You don't want to marry herpes, that's more of a one night stand.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 4:39 PM on August 26, 2012


That's it! I'm taking this to the International Butt Court in The Hague!
posted by XMLicious at 7:23 PM on August 26, 2012 [1 favorite]


Don't take it to Judge Judy, 'cause she don't wanna hear no butts.
posted by idiopath at 7:26 PM on August 26, 2012 [1 favorite]


I really look forward to the follow up. Immediately after the exhibit it and at 1, 5 and 10 years. I hope there are enough princesses for a decent sample size. Oh, this art? Nuts.
posted by psycho-alchemy at 1:15 AM on August 27, 2012


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