Ignore the long-term brain damage of fantasy football

August 30, 2012 4:32 PM

You've been harangued by an office mate to join his fantasy football league, but you never played before. Here's a quick guide for dummies. You don't know the history of fantasy football? Not sure you should play? It's not just about football, it's also about the fun in delivering smack talk. Fantasy football isn't just for guys.

You can have fun with team names, too.

Many handy guides to get you started.

You can set up leagues here, here, here, and here. (oops).

posted by Mojojojo (19 comments total)

I meant to add a link to The League, as well, but my brain is full, now.
posted by Mojojojo at 4:39 PM on August 30, 2012 [1 favorite]

The best quickie description I ever received of this was when I joined the web development shop of a corporate bank in the late 1990s...the web site team was all geeks and the intranet team was all brogrammers. One of the web kids pulled me aside and said "it's like D&D for frat boys" and suddenly it all made sense.
posted by trackofalljades at 4:40 PM on August 30, 2012 [6 favorites]

I call it "the $210 I get to steal from my friends for the 4th year in a row."
posted by Mister Fabulous at 4:41 PM on August 30, 2012 [2 favorites]

Draft Me Maybe
posted by jonp72 at 4:43 PM on August 30, 2012 [2 favorites]

Also, if anyone is interested in a MeFi league, let's talk.
posted by craven_morhead at 4:52 PM on August 30, 2012

Hm. I'm guessing fantasy football has nothing to do with Xabi Alonso and Andy Carroll making out.

this displeases me.
posted by elizardbits at 4:53 PM on August 30, 2012 [2 favorites]

One of the web kids pulled me aside and said "it's like D&D for frat boys" and suddenly it all made sense.

So does that make this the D&D for frat boys for D&D guys?
posted by XMLicious at 5:01 PM on August 30, 2012 [1 favorite]

I'm in the Rock and Roll Confidential FF league. My team name is 'Brian's Shitty Song.'

I have no life.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 5:04 PM on August 30, 2012 [1 favorite]

Also, if anyone is interested in a MeFi league, let's talk.

We had a MeTa about it a while back. We completed our draft last weekend. I think you can still join the pick 'em league, though!
posted by King Bee at 5:20 PM on August 30, 2012

I got roped into this despite only playing Pick 'Em leagues before (and not really caring about pro football) and so I'm gonna be looking for people to cheat off of all season long.

All that matters is that I beat just one person in my office. I don't care if I get trounced, I just don't want to be last.

Can you tell I'm a Lions fan?
posted by klangklangston at 5:28 PM on August 30, 2012

Can you tell I'm a Lions fan?

The Lions aren't the NFL's whipping boy anymore, klang!
posted by King Bee at 5:33 PM on August 30, 2012

Can you tell I'm a Lions fan?

Stafford to Megatron..rinse, repeat.

I set up a "MeFi" football league on Yahoo.

Password "mefi"

First eight are in. No cash, because, really, I just want to smack talk everyone.
posted by Mojojojo at 5:35 PM on August 30, 2012

sorry, being an idiot tonight:

League ID: 805992
password: mefi

Sign into your Yahoo account (everyone has one?)
Go to sports (or fantasy sports)
Click Fantasy Football
Join a league
805992
mefi
I set up a draft time for 1pm EDT on Sunday. I can move that if it doesn't work for somebody.
posted by Mojojojo at 5:48 PM on August 30, 2012 [2 favorites]

One of the web kids pulled me aside and said "it's like D&D for frat boys" and suddenly it all made sense.

Huh. I always thought of it as sports for the D&D boys.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 5:55 PM on August 30, 2012 [1 favorite]

I wish this post had been made before I apparently picked the worst team in history for the metafilter fantasy league. I'm projected to go 0-12!!! I am blaming the fact that i had the dead last draft spot. Yeah.
posted by capnsue at 6:04 PM on August 30, 2012

capnsue, that is effin' crazy talk. You have Cam Newton, Greg Jennings, and Darren Sproles! You aren't going 0-12.
posted by King Bee at 6:06 PM on August 30, 2012

The guide completely neglects the most important part: making friends wjth the league commissioner so that you can get trades approved at midnight wben nobody elsr is around to bid on them. I don't know ANYTHING about football and I still won two fantasy foot all contests that way.
posted by wolfdreams01 at 6:42 PM on August 30, 2012

For the past three years I've run a father-son fantasy football league in my town. From August to February my dad-buds and I get to have a sustained connection with our sons at a time (preteens) when kids start to drift away from their folks. It's a ton of fun. The two big rituals are draft night, where we all get together with a bunch of pizza, soda, and laptops, and spend 2.5 hours shouting over each other trying to put together decent teams. My son makes a tabbed binder for his research, and in the weeks leading up to draft night we present our rankings to each other by position. Draft night was tonight, and my son told me on the way home that after his birthday and Christmas, it's his third favorite day of the year. He's in the kitchen now looking at youtube college highlights of a LB we drafted.

His fourth favorite day is our league awards banquet in February, where we take over the family room of a local bar, the dads all bring hot dishes, the teams all get trophies for weird achievements over the past season, and we have a traditional triangle paper football bracket tournament.

I could give two shits about the NFL, but fantasy is awesome!
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 7:05 PM on August 30, 2012 [6 favorites]

No matter how long it's been since I last played, my mind still drifts to Blood Bowl when someone mentions "fantasy" football.
posted by explosion at 8:56 PM on August 30, 2012