...Nor Any Bite to Eat

September 4, 2012 4:49 PM

Serious Eats would like to show-and-tell you nearly every American sandwich. They threw in a few other countries' sandwiches, as well. This was a rather last-minute observance of National Sandwich Month.
posted by gilrain (189 comments total)

I was pleased to discover that the two sandwiches I like the most (French Dips and Monte Cristos) also happen to be specialties of my region. I had no idea!
posted by chatongriffes at 4:52 PM on September 4, 2012

Carb temptress!
posted by The Whelk at 4:53 PM on September 4, 2012 [5 favorites]

My reaction to reading "American sandwich" and "other countries' sandwiches": "A little hard to believe that there are really sandwiches specific to countries."

My reaction to opening up the "American sandwich" link and seeing that it further subdivides into sandwiches from American geographical reasons: "Oh come on, that's even harder to believe."

My reaction to seeing pictures on that page of sandwiches from other American geographical regions: "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT"
posted by Flunkie at 4:53 PM on September 4, 2012 [17 favorites]

I feel your pain, The Whelk, and hence my title. Maybe flax meal bread...? No.
posted by gilrain at 4:55 PM on September 4, 2012

Some US fresh made to order sandwiches can be pretty decent but why oh why is it impossible to find decent packaged sandwiches in the US? Apart from US Pret a Manger, which is a watered down extension of the British chain
posted by Bwithh at 4:57 PM on September 4, 2012

I'm quite proud that I can identify the source of their "hero" choice by sight.
posted by JPD at 4:58 PM on September 4, 2012

Some US fresh made to order sandwiches can be pretty decent but why oh why is it impossible to find decent packaged sandwiches in the US?

Because pre-made sandwiches are an abomination.
posted by JPD at 4:59 PM on September 4, 2012 [28 favorites]

If it doesn't include Zunzi's Conquistador, then this slideshow is toast and not in a good way.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 5:00 PM on September 4, 2012 [2 favorites]

Because pre-made sandwiches are an abomination.

This is generally true in the US, but not so much in the UK. I PROMISE you.
posted by Bwithh at 5:01 PM on September 4, 2012 [4 favorites]

Hoagie, Hero and Sub? But no Grinder?

Well, at least Fluffernutter made the list.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 5:01 PM on September 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

I've lived in the UK. Better than US pre-made sandwiches, still kinda mediocre.

(Grinder is on the list)
posted by JPD at 5:03 PM on September 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

Hoagie, Hero and Sub? But no Grinder?

"WHY WON'T YOU LET ME LIVE MARGE?"
posted by The Whelk at 5:03 PM on September 4, 2012 [3 favorites]

Obligatory Mitch Hedberg bit.
posted by NoMich at 5:05 PM on September 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

I've eaten a lot of sandwiches in a lot of different countries- for me Cuba is the winner. France, Viet-Nam, and Mexico are probably tied for second (France for the bread alone, Viet-Nam for having better fillings on bread that is not quite as good. Mexico gets in with the torta milanesa with bean, avocado, and queso de chihuahua.)

As far as regional US sandwiches go, give me a Chicago Italian beef, full dip, with mozzarella and peppers; or a proper Carolina pulled-pork sandwich with coleslaw.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 5:12 PM on September 4, 2012 [2 favorites]

Look, man, I appreciate you trying, but if you're gonna put the work into finding the best falafel, you gotta realize that the best falafel doesn't come in pita — it comes in lavash. If you're getting pita, there's already something wrong and it's most likely a Turk trying to pass himself as Arabic enough to make a decent falafel.

(Or maybe an Egyptian, whose falafel are from fava beans and they'll give you this spiel on how they invented falafel, but fava's just not as good as garbanzo.)
posted by klangklangston at 5:15 PM on September 4, 2012 [2 favorites]

I literally have a spreadsheet of all the Banh-Mi I have yet to try in Manhattan in a never-ending, almost Sisyphean, effort to find one that can approach the majesty of those made by Mix Bakery in Boston -- a tiny hole in the wall which occasionally smelled like gasoline fumes due to the fact that the back door opened up into a functioning parking garage.
posted by nathancaswell at 5:25 PM on September 4, 2012

I don't even consider falafel to be a sandwich, but I agree with you on both the lavash and chick pea points. As far as the doner/gyro/shawarma continuum is concerned, the best I've had are from Paris, but they benefit from the liberal application of both tahini and frites.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 5:25 PM on September 4, 2012

As long as they don't try to tell me I'm "doing it all wrong" when making a PB and J, I'm all good.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 5:26 PM on September 4, 2012

I love a good rare prime rib. And I love some really fantastic fresh sushi.

But nothing comes close to the glory of a truly awesome sandwich. In just about any of its great variations: wraps/burritos, open face, subs, deli style, etc etc.

Though for a sandwich fanatic like me, I must admit there is one major sandwich of renown that I never was able to much enjoy: the Monte Cristo.
posted by chimaera at 5:26 PM on September 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

Second TheWhiteskull on Cuban sandwiches. I was so mad when the one Cuban sandwich shop in my town had to close because the building it was in was condemned. Fortunately, it reopened in a new locations a few months ago, and the new building appears to be clean and structurally sound, which makes me very happy.
posted by Cash4Lead at 5:27 PM on September 4, 2012

Sandwich, why can't I quit you.
posted by TwelveTwo at 5:30 PM on September 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

So, so tired of slideshows whose sole purpose is to drive page views. Mmm, sammiches, but not giving them the satisfaction of clicking through 47 times.
posted by Sweetie Darling at 5:30 PM on September 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

I'd also take a good beef on weck with horseradish and mustard, or a nice bacon butty (although I prefer the Toronto version)

I'm basically sandwich-agnostic.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 5:31 PM on September 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

I hope I am remembered as a good man
posted by The Whelk at 5:32 PM on September 4, 2012 [8 favorites]

What?! Is Dutch Crunch really a Bay Area thing? No wonder I couldn't find one in Cambridge last year.
posted by smirkette at 5:32 PM on September 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

With the best ingredients, the world will never know a better sandwich than a BLT.
posted by villanelles at dawn at 5:33 PM on September 4, 2012

Chivitos for the win!
posted by needled at 5:33 PM on September 4, 2012 [2 favorites]

Adam Richman (formerly of Man v Food), just did a whole series on sandwiches, pitting region against region, sandwich against sandwich, and declared the roast pork, provolone and broccoli rabe from DiNic's in Philadelphia as the Best Sandwich in America
posted by briank at 5:35 PM on September 4, 2012 [3 favorites]

Can I take this time to talk to America's fine Sandwich artisans, craftsmen, technicians and renegade made scientists?

Please make your sandwiches able to be held in one hand comfortably and not spill out over the eater's plate and/or person as they desperately try to maneuver their mouth around a solid wall of indigents. It's a Sandwich, not a depth charge, if I have to deconstruct it with a knife and fork like a culinary post-modernist then it is no longer a sandwich, it is a disgusting parody of American excess and waste that takes longer then the simple, sweet formula of bread, filling, bread.

A proper sandwich should hit into an honest man's hand.
posted by The Whelk at 5:38 PM on September 4, 2012 [10 favorites]

should fill an honest man's*
posted by The Whelk at 5:39 PM on September 4, 2012

Shooters look vile.

Sorry, Britain.
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 5:48 PM on September 4, 2012

I spent the weekend with my folks. One morning, my mom's breakfast -- which she was enjoying considerably -- consisted of a few strips of bacon on buttered French bread. "Hey," I said, "it's a bacon butty!"

She licked her fingers and nodded and said very sincerely, "It sure IS my bacon buddy."
posted by mudpuppie at 5:49 PM on September 4, 2012 [11 favorites]

Chip butties aren't always found on chip shop menus as they often offer instead a scallop on a bun for the sandwich inclined.
posted by Jehan at 5:49 PM on September 4, 2012

Shooters should really only come in gunmetal grey cases and be served with lukewarm milky tea in a field where everyone is wearing three layers of flannel and twed.
posted by The Whelk at 5:49 PM on September 4, 2012 [6 favorites]

also

Pork or beef dripping can be served cold, spread on bread and sprinkled with salt and pepper (bread and dripping). If the flavorful brown sediment and stock from the roast has settled to the bottom of the dripping and colored it brown, then in parts of Yorkshire it is known colloquially as a "mucky fat" sandwich.

one side effect of living with a Yorkshire man is that this exists as an option for a quick dinner.
posted by The Whelk at 5:51 PM on September 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

It's unfair to pit the muffuletta against any other sandwich. It is a thing crafted by the gods. All other sandwiches are food. The muffuletta is the warp and woof of a New Orleanian's soul.
posted by ColdChef at 5:52 PM on September 4, 2012 [3 favorites]

You say that as if it's a bad thing.
posted by maudlin at 5:53 PM on September 4, 2012

I have had vivid dreams about New Orleans oyster Po'boys.
posted by The Whelk at 5:53 PM on September 4, 2012 [5 favorites]

*peers over Cold Chef and gesticulates frantically at The Whelk*
posted by maudlin at 5:53 PM on September 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

GOD DMANIT WHELK STOP SKIPPING ALL OVER THE PLACE.
posted by maudlin at 5:54 PM on September 4, 2012

Forget it Jake, it's Sandwiches.
posted by The Whelk at 5:54 PM on September 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

My reaction to opening up the "American sandwich" link and seeing that it further subdivides into sandwiches from American geographical reasons: "Oh come on, that's even harder to believe

Sandwiches are food, what's hard to believe about there being regional specific foods? Seriously, they lump all barbecue sandwiches into one category, which is fine, I guess*, but barbecue sandwiches are incredibly region specific; I can find you a barbecue sandwich is specific to one part of one state. You might be able to get them somewhere else, but it'll always be a barbecue sandwich with barbecue from that one part of that state, so I think it's fair to say that the sandwich is "from" that region.

*I actually don't agree with this. There are barbecue sandwiches and then there are "barbecue" sandwiches. The ones without the scare quotes from from North Carolina, the others are all doing some kind of weird thing that might be tasty, but isn't barbecue. I'll accept either Eastern or Western NC barbecue, because I'm a ecumenist in these matters.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 5:55 PM on September 4, 2012 [7 favorites]

Also I am lead to believe a proper chip butty contains a poached or fried egg and about a half liter of vinegar.
posted by The Whelk at 5:57 PM on September 4, 2012

Why do you people taunt me with the Beef on Weck when I can't get one. Was the italian beef on there ? I don't think I saw it.

I been eating Brisket,Roast Beef, Provolone and brown gravy on a hero as my go-to for the past few weeks. I been craving chicken salad with sriracha on toast so maybe I'm over brisket though.
posted by Ad hominem at 5:58 PM on September 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

There is a Mexican torta shop just south of Seattle which sells tortas in the Mexico City style (tortas estilo D.F.). There are two things to know about their main torta:

1) It contains both chorizo and hot dogs.
2) The chorizo and hot dogs comprise only 50% of the different kinds of meat in this sandwich. The other two kinds of meat are milanesa and roasted pork leg.

If I recall correctly, they also have deluxe version which adds ham and a sunny-side up egg to the aforementioned ingredients. Of course, this is on top of the usual accoutrements of avocado, tomato, lettuce, onion, and refried beans.

From what I've heard, once upon a time, the torta vendors in Mexico City got into a war of one-upsmanship over who could jam the most stuff into their sandwiches. And hence, estilo D.F.
posted by mhum at 5:58 PM on September 4, 2012 [2 favorites]

Bulgaroktonos is exactly correct about barbecue sandwiches. I had an ill-fated summer doing fieldwork in Absolute Nowhere, MO, and got dragged by our director to his favorite BBQ place. When I got my hesitantly-ordered sandwich, the bottom bun had dissolved in some sort of dark, tomato-sugar paste that coated the plate and everything nearby. My undergraduate tears were more proof, to him, that I was a damned Yankee with no place there.

It took my partner years to convince me that Carolina BBQ was a totally different kettle of, uh, pork.
posted by cobaltnine at 6:00 PM on September 4, 2012

Holy shit. There's really such a thing as a lobster roll? And you can exchange money for one and someone is will to trade? For the first time I am wondering if Iowa does really suck.
posted by cjorgensen at 6:02 PM on September 4, 2012 [5 favorites]

Salt beef on rye. With mustard. From here.

NB - Must be from there. This guy is clearly dissing it on purpose to make sure they don't run out by the time he gets there. That can happen. Either that or he's nuts.
posted by motty at 6:03 PM on September 4, 2012

At some places in Maine cjorgensen, you can get lobster rolls at McDonalds.
posted by The Whelk at 6:03 PM on September 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

I finally caved and ate a chip butty prepared by a british coworker. I wanted so much to hate it, the idea was just repulsive. But the carbs, the fat, the salt, the carbs its just so right while being so very very wrong.
posted by Pink Fuzzy Bunny at 6:05 PM on September 4, 2012

In the future, all erotica novels will involve sandwiches.
posted by TwelveTwo at 6:07 PM on September 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

Was the italian beef on there ? I don't think I saw it.

It was.

You know what I realized? I fucking love sandwiches. Seriously, like 95% of the sandwiches on that list look delicious. If the fucking Yankees would stop eating Fluffernutters, we'd be in business to just serve me sandwiches off that list forever. Sadly, I'm trying to lose weight so I really need to avoid people talking about sandwiches, especially pimiento cheese sandwiches.

Holy shit. There's really such a thing as a lobster roll? And you can exchange money for one and someone is will to trade? For the first time I am wondering if Iowa does really suck.

Lobster rolls are delicious, so delicious in fact that people where I am (DC), will stand in line for 75% of their lunch break in order to exchange $18.00 for a lobster roll that has less than a handful of meat on it. In Maine, get the lobster rolls, they're amazing and you get your money's worth. If you are not in Maine, you're probably about to get ripped off.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 6:07 PM on September 4, 2012 [2 favorites]

I was going to complain that there was no Turkey Devonshire on the list but it looks like a Louisville Hot Brown is the same sammich.
posted by octothorpe at 6:08 PM on September 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

PB&J should be listed as Queen of all Sammiches.

...sandwiches from American geographical reasons: "Oh come on, that's even harder to believe."

Whachew nuts or summptn? Dose sammiches from tha siddy not regional? New Yoik bagel and lox?

BBQ beef from N'alens?

Oh, oh, oh oyster po'boy?*heaves sigh of ecstasy*

Bless Hestia for regional delicacies, because, DAMN!
posted by BlueHorse at 6:09 PM on September 4, 2012

I am unreasonably angry that grinder was listed under the midwest and not New England.

That aside, I was surprised that the 'west' list was so anemic... west coasters: list your favorite regional sandwiches! I want to know what kinds of sandwiches you enjoy four hours later.

Sandwiches and salad seem to be two foods that are almost always better when someone else prepares them for you.
posted by absquatulate at 6:10 PM on September 4, 2012 [2 favorites]

Half hour ago I get home with a gigantic eggplant parmigiana sub (with crispy breaded eggplant and melty cheese and incredible sauce on a hard roll, OH GOD) from the Italian deli down the street. Upon unwrapping the foil and hearing a chorus of angels singing in my head, I decide I'm going to maximize my enjoyment by reading about other types of sandwiches while I eat it, feeling kinship and oneness with the sandwich-appreciating community. But first, hey, I guess I'll check if there's anything interesting on MetaFilter. So I open a tab, and this is the first FPP.

Well played, hive mind.
posted by jake at 6:12 PM on September 4, 2012 [7 favorites]

Anyone here got an in with the travel channel or foodtv and want to send me on tour to eat all those sandwiches on tv? I will even eat the crazy ones like deep fried brain sandwiches.
posted by Ad hominem at 6:12 PM on September 4, 2012

The Guardian's recipe ( with photo gallery of cooking process) for the British Shooter's Sandwich which they confirm as the best kind of sandwich ever
posted by Bwithh at 6:12 PM on September 4, 2012 [7 favorites]

Well, I know where we're getting lunch tomorrow. I love how "Arthur Avenue Bread" is a selling point throughout CT.
posted by These Premises Are Alarmed at 6:13 PM on September 4, 2012

What the fuck, Pittsburgh, you ripped off our sandwich? I realize claiming a classic sandwich is usually tricky, but the Hot Brown has some pretty unshakable provenance.

Here's a freebie: age some corn whiskey in charred oak barrels, maybe it'll catch on.
posted by gilrain at 6:14 PM on September 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

A bummer that the wholebelly clam roll didn't make the list.
posted by These Premises Are Alarmed at 6:15 PM on September 4, 2012

potsmokinghippieoverlord: "Shooters look vile.

Sorry, Britain."

WHAT I haven't had one but:

Fill a hollowed-out loaf of bread with steak, mushrooms, and onions, press it overnight...

sounds fuckin' delicious. Especially with sommathat English mustard, Colemans I think it is.
posted by lazaruslong at 6:15 PM on September 4, 2012 [4 favorites]

A panino is also good, but only if eaten in the proper fashion. That is, after roughly two hours in the back pocket of a cycling jersey.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 6:16 PM on September 4, 2012

What the fuck, Pittsburgh, you ripped off our sandwich? I realize claiming a classic sandwich is usually tricky, but the Hot Brown has some pretty unshakable provenance.

Well it's been since 1934 so I think that the statute of limitations is up.
posted by octothorpe at 6:17 PM on September 4, 2012 [2 favorites]

Shooters look vile.

Sorry, Britain.

Having made them on a few occasions to universal praise, I can confirm that your assumption is incorrect.
posted by jedicus at 6:19 PM on September 4, 2012 [3 favorites]

1923, for the Hot Brown.
posted by gilrain at 6:19 PM on September 4, 2012

Two things . . .
The shooter sandwich in the picture is trhe "shooter sandwich" that they made from In-n-Out burgers. Definitely not the real thing.

Also, Arthur Avenue style is a thing outside of Arthur Avenue? Arthur Avenue is where my grandmother and great grandmother dragged me to go grocery shopping when we visited.
posted by Seamus at 6:20 PM on September 4, 2012

I scrolled down that list with growing anger at the obvious snubbing of my shiny new all-time favorite sandwich, the Monte Cristo, before exploding in a hot burst of maple syrup relief when I got to the very last entry.

But just ham? Meh. Ham and shredded turkey with swiss and grain mustard, french toastified, with a brown gallon of sticky sweet maple syrup. unnnnnghhhhn. Kitchen 24 does it right, if you're ever in Hollywood.
posted by carsonb at 6:21 PM on September 4, 2012

Oh and sweet potato fries.
posted by carsonb at 6:22 PM on September 4, 2012

With cinnamon sprinkled on top.
posted by carsonb at 6:22 PM on September 4, 2012

nnnnnnnnnnnnnngh
posted by carsonb at 6:22 PM on September 4, 2012 [2 favorites]

They are saying the grinder is from the Midwest? What is this heresy?

It's unfair to pit the muffuletta against any other sandwich. It is a thing crafted by the gods. All other sandwiches are food. The muffuletta is the warp and woof of a New Orleanian's soul.

In my kitchen cupboard right now is a pristine jar of Italian Grocery olive salad, waiting for February so I can invite a whole bunch of friends over and have muffeletas as part of my "we're in New York instead of new Orleans so we have to make do" Mardi Gras. But in the meantime I periodically open my cupboard just to look at it, like Gollum with the ring whispering "My precioussssss!"

But as for the po'boy - a couple years ago, my company's cafeteria featured "fried oyster po-boys" as part of the daily menu. I went to get one, but stopped them, shocked, when they were about to put something heretical on it (I forget which - cole slaw or tartar sauce or something like that). I told them, instead, specifically what I wanted on me. The sandwich guy eyed me while he fixed it, and finally asked, "you've had this before?" I nodded. He then stopped, leaned in to me sheepishly, and asked "So...what IS this? They just told us this was what it was called but I've never heard of this kind of sandwich."

Well.

There's a scene in one of the Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy books when Arthur Dent is trying to get a computer to give him a proper cup of tea, and finally, in frustration, sits down with the computer and says, okay - he is going to tell the computer all about tea. And he spends the next hour and a half telling the computer EVERYTHING -- the history of the East India Tea Company, the varying hues of the tannins in each different blend, the sensuous surge of energy you get from tea that's brewed just properly right, the way a properly shined cup catches the light....the computer spends the next several hours processing this, but then makes Arthur a cup of the very best tea he's ever had in his life.

And when the guy asked me "what is a po'boy," I suddenly felt like Arthur explaining tea to the computer. I told the guy everything I happened to know about po'boys, their history, the proper ingredients, everything. It still wasn't the best po'boy I've ever had, but I like to think I improved the lot of all the other diners behind me ever so slightly.

Some things should just be done RIGHT.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:22 PM on September 4, 2012 [10 favorites]

I do not even like sandwiches that much and I am still sad for the rest of you that you do not get pork tenderloin sandwiches. I had no idea. I thought that was like a normal, universal sandwich. So sad.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 6:23 PM on September 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

Glaring omission of the Australian jaffle.
posted by dontjumplarry at 6:30 PM on September 4, 2012 [4 favorites]

The Philly-style roast pork sandwich is finally making its way out to San Francisco, as I discovered to my delight a couple weeks ago. I'm not telling you where I found one, because then you'll go there and the lines will be longer. And if there's one thing people in San Francisco seem to have an unhealthy passion for it's waiting in line for food.
posted by madcaptenor at 6:32 PM on September 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

I really want to try a chivito some day.
posted by spinifex23 at 6:35 PM on September 4, 2012

Also, a roti is never a fucking sandwich. A roti (usually made with dhalpuri roti) is a vehicle for the delivery of a curry, combining both dish and eating utensil. That the roti may be superior to the curry it contains is an entirely separate point.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 6:35 PM on September 4, 2012

Rotis are a trinidadian thing. Def. Sandwiches if you count wraps in the category.
posted by JPD at 6:41 PM on September 4, 2012

First of all, I don't. And I love a good Trini-style goat roti, but I wouldn't call it a sandwich.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 6:44 PM on September 4, 2012

From the Guardian article on how to construct a shooter:

8. Wrap the whole thing in greaseproof paper and tie with butcher's string, then wrap in two layers of foil and smush flat under a heavy cutting board and as many weights as you can find. Leave under the weights in a reasonably cool place (don't refrigerate) for at least six hours or preferably overnight. Remove the foil and cut through string, paper and sandwich.


Don't. Refrigerate.

This is how we get violently ill.
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 6:47 PM on September 4, 2012 [4 favorites]

You can't properly talk of midwest (particularly Iowa) sandwiches and exclude the Maid-Rite (as they say, since 1926).
posted by Muddler at 6:47 PM on September 4, 2012

It's in there as a Loose Meat.
posted by gilrain at 6:51 PM on September 4, 2012

I have not had a pork tenderloin sandwich in probably 20 years, and now it's all I can think about.

(They can also be found in Ohio. Indiana likes to steal a lot of good ideas from Ohio.)
posted by Lulu's Pink Converse at 6:52 PM on September 4, 2012

To clarify, it's a delightful package of spicy deliciousness wrapped in a wonderful pancake of flour and dhal, but it's not a sandwich. Doubles yes, roti no. I'm still not sure about a patty, but if you have it in coco bread, it's a sandwich.

ok, I'm a sandwich prescriptivist. Fine.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 6:52 PM on September 4, 2012

Man, this is awesome.

Is anybody looking for a project to put up Kickstarter or somewhere like that? Because whether it's a series of prints, a smartphone app or a little pocket booklet with a bunch of checkboxes in it, I would probably support that thing.
posted by box at 6:54 PM on September 4, 2012

I am unreasonably angry that grinder was listed under the midwest and not New England.

It's probably telling that it didn't even occur to me to look for it elsewhere.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 6:55 PM on September 4, 2012

put up on Kickstarter--you know what I mean.
posted by box at 6:55 PM on September 4, 2012

What the fuck, Pittsburgh, you ripped off our sandwich? I realize claiming a classic sandwich is usually tricky, but the Hot Brown has some pretty unshakable provenance.
posted by gilrain at 9:14 PM on September 4

Well it's been since 1934 so I think that the statute of limitations is up.
posted by octothorpe at 9:17 PM on September

1923, for the Hot Brown.
posted by gilrain at 9:19 PM on September 4

Don't make me call Rick Sebak to settle this. (I highly recommended the DVD).
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 6:55 PM on September 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

Oh yeah, and my first exposure to Beef on Weck, outside of the above-linked documentary, was on New Year's Eve, at the the Anchor Bar in Buffalo. It was kick-ass.
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 7:00 PM on September 4, 2012 [2 favorites]

why am I bothered by the fact that Key west isn't mentioned in the sloppy joe entry?
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 7:02 PM on September 4, 2012

cjorgenson, Iowa does suck. Lobster rolls are one of my favorite things about being a Midwesterner transplanted to New England.

Also, when I start to list out the week's menu for my family, I have been scolded by my wife for including "too many sandwiches." Other than that one string of unintelligible noise, she speaks perfect English.
posted by wenestvedt at 7:16 PM on September 4, 2012 [2 favorites]

The only Monte Christo I've ever had that was worthy of the name, was from the Bennigan's chain that went out of business a few years ago. The batter was very, very thick and eating the entire meal in one sitting was not advised. Reheated they had a strange quality, that was still tasty, but one piece was still more than a mere mortal should have for breakfast. Every "monte christo" I've had elsewhere, has barely been toasted let alone batter fried. Truly a shame.
posted by inthe80s at 7:18 PM on September 4, 2012

I was wondering how they could leave off the sailor sandwich! Blasphemers! But turns out its just a local thing.
hot pastrami, grilled knockwurst, melted Swiss and hot mustard on rye bread
posted by arsey at 7:20 PM on September 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

I would definitely eat that. How is the knackwurst sliced?
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 7:25 PM on September 4, 2012

Oh my god, I dream about Beef on Weck about 6 nights a week, and wake up in a sweat because I can't really find one in Maine...

This post has certainly secured itself into our winter projects list: make all the sandwiches.

We're quite aware here at the Furnace.House that this is a super jacked bastardization (and certainly could be classified as the F-word "fusion", which we typically dislike) but the best goddamn po-boy sandwich ever is made with Karaage. There's something about the potato starch that just makes the whole sandwich...oh god...so good. It's late here and now all I want is all of the sandwiches.
posted by furnace.heart at 7:25 PM on September 4, 2012

The shooter sandwich in the picture is trhe "shooter sandwich" that they made from In-n-Out burgers. Definitely not the real thing.

OMG, You're not joking,

Now, THIS is an abomination.
Shame on Serious Eats
posted by Bwithh at 7:25 PM on September 4, 2012

west coasters: list your favorite regional sandwiches!

Don't need 'em. We've got tacos and burritos.

They list the French Dip, but LA (with the Hat) is also responsible for a slight variation, the pastrami dip.
posted by LionIndex at 7:27 PM on September 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

How is the knackwurst sliced?
Lengthwise!

So should we just go ahead and name Sept 5th National Eat Some Goddamn Sandwiches day?
posted by arsey at 7:31 PM on September 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

I'm surprised there wasn't at least one mention of a quesadilla, which at this point is a pretty standard form of sandwich in a lot of places.
posted by hippybear at 7:33 PM on September 4, 2012

I hesitate to post this, but: the "bum sandwich" method
posted by Bwithh at 7:34 PM on September 4, 2012

I'm from the midwest. I find the soggy-bread-and-peppers Italian beef sandwich to be revolting. serious, the texture is awful.

my favorite sandwiches involve bagels and croissants.

I have been eating barbecue my entire life. I will eat smoked without sauce, or pulled meat with any variety of BBQ sauce. I just recently had my first burnt-ends sandwich, and have found enlightenment.

and fries, for me, are mandatory sandwich accoutrement.
posted by ninjew at 7:34 PM on September 4, 2012

Is it weird that when I realized elizardbits had yet to comment in this thread I became briefly concerned about her well being?
posted by nathancaswell at 7:37 PM on September 4, 2012 [6 favorites]

Now, THIS is an abomination.

Of course it is.

An oddly compelling abomination, though. Like a deep fried Twinkie.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 7:37 PM on September 4, 2012

That aside, I was surprised that the 'west' list was so anemic... west coasters: list your favorite regional sandwiches! I want to know what kinds of sandwiches you enjoy four hours later.

So was I, but man I cannot think of anything. If you count by the number of shops which sell it, Irvine owns the Banh Mi but since we don't count that way, no love. And we can't count tacos, so the Korean taco from Kogi BBQ is ineligible. Also ineligible are the Mission Burrito and the Carne Asada burrito.

I would argue that there is a hazy agreement on a California sandwich, which needs to have avocado, sprouts/spinach/greens, and a multi-grain bread (spread and other fillings variable) to meet the qualification. Then there's Good's argument, which is essentially: California sandwich (as outlined in the preceding sentence) or In-n-Out as the state sandwich?

Oregon, Washington, and the rest of the west? Sorry, nothing stands out.
posted by librarylis at 7:39 PM on September 4, 2012

and fries, for me, are mandatory sandwich accoutrement.

what about sandwiches that INCLUDE FRIES IN THE SANDWICH???? MIND ASPLODE
posted by nathancaswell at 7:41 PM on September 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

Ah. Glad to see that "Taylor Ham on some sort of bread, possibly with eggs, probably for breakfast in New Jersey" was rightfully included on that list. Seriously...it's the delicious and ill-defined state food of New Jersey.

Last weekend, I dragged my boyfriend along to visit my folks back in Jersey, and yesterday he got to watch me frantically dart across the county like a crazy person, trying to find a diner that was open on Labor Day so that I could order a Taylor Ham, Egg, and Cheese on a Bagel before driving back to DC.

Also, to hopefully settle a point of contention in this thread: Pre-made British sandwiches, though somewhat better than their American counterparts, are still pretty damn awful. Exceptions: Hoisin duck wraps, and the few places that will make you a (fresh) Coronation Chicken sandwich. Those two are the notable high points of British sandwich cuisine.
posted by schmod at 7:44 PM on September 4, 2012

Oh man, I miss taylor ham and egg sandwiches. On a hard roll, always on a hard roll.
posted by octothorpe at 7:50 PM on September 4, 2012 [2 favorites]

From the Guardian article on how to construct a shooter:
...
Don't. Refrigerate.

This is how we get violently ill.


Doubtful -- The meat and various other innards are fully cooked, then the whole thing is stuffed into bread (which doesn't need refrigeration), and then wrapped, very, very well.

The cooking of the meat kills off any preexisting bacteria, and then the sammich is kept airtight. How exactly would enough bacteria grow overnight to make someone sick?
posted by sparklemotion at 7:50 PM on September 4, 2012 [2 favorites]

... he got to watch me frantically dart across the county like a crazy person, trying to find a diner that was open on Labor Day so that I could order a Taylor Ham, Egg, and Cheese on a Bagel before driving back to DC.

You'll be happy to know that BRAC has driven a lot of Service personnel, and their appetites, slightly south and you can find pork rolls in MD now.

The locals don't know what to make of them.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 7:53 PM on September 4, 2012

Pre-made British sandwiches, though somewhat better than their American counterparts, are still pretty damn awful.

I objectively dispute the "somewhat" in this line as very much an understatement, though "awful" may be a matter of agree to disagree.

I do include the likes of UK ( US version is much drier and less saucy to suit the NYC palate) Pret a Manger in my original statement, though that perhaps more accurately should be at the top of a category between pre-made and made-to-order
posted by Bwithh at 7:55 PM on September 4, 2012

Schmod, a bagel? Really? Octothorpe has the right idea, pork roll, egg and cheese, with saltpepperketchup if you please.
posted by mollweide at 7:59 PM on September 4, 2012

The Maid-Rite is the least good sandwich I've ever had. It's close to flavorless, and the ground beef particles are about the size of grains of rice, so they fall out of the sandwich and it's just not worth retrieving them. It makes me wonder what their definition of "rite" was.
posted by Metroid Baby at 8:02 PM on September 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

Hoisin duck wraps

They're alright but I'm not a huge fan because eating them always makes me think of how they're a very weak imitation of the real thing: shredded peking duck served with thin pancakes, hoisin sauce, and fine long bits of cucumber & spring onion to roll it all up with.
I see people claiming tacos and burritos are sandwiches in this thread. A bit of a stretch, I think, but if they're included, why not the peking duck pancake experience?
posted by Bwithh at 8:04 PM on September 4, 2012 [2 favorites]

It's nice they gave props to Primanti Brothers', but Pittsburgh is not the in the mid-west. So fuck off.
posted by XhaustedProphet at 8:07 PM on September 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

why not the peking duck pancake experience?

I saw them perform as a 3rd stage act years ago before any of you lame-os ever heard of them.
posted by hippybear at 8:12 PM on September 4, 2012 [4 favorites]

inthe80s: Every "monte christo" I've had elsewhere, has barely been toasted let alone batter fried. Truly a shame.

I'm tellin' ya, if you're ever in Hollywood, day, night, whenever, hit me up and we'll go to K24 for their Monte Cristo. I've never ever eaten one in one sitting, and the re-fry up right nice the next day.
posted by carsonb at 8:17 PM on September 4, 2012

Obligatory Mitch Hedberg bit.

Oh you sonofabitch. Down the youtube comedian clip rabbithole again.
posted by axiom at 8:32 PM on September 4, 2012

I just rechecked the OP from bed to confirm they didn't forget pimento cheese sandwiches in the southern section. They did not. Carry on.
posted by nathancaswell at 8:33 PM on September 4, 2012

I was excited to try my first lobster roll once. But... a hot dog bun? Really? Look at po-boy. Look at lobster roll. Come on, get some decent bread, lobster roll, you could be something.
posted by smcameron at 8:38 PM on September 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

My reaction to seeing pictures on that page of sandwiches from other American geographical regions: "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT"

Those are some really gross looking sandwich pictures. They apparently come from the same school of cooking as my father, where cooking = warming up. No brown on anything.
posted by gjc at 8:39 PM on September 4, 2012

There is a Mexican torta shop just south of Seattle which sells tortas in the Mexico City style (tortas estilo D.F.). There are two things to know about their main torta:

1) It contains both chorizo and hot dogs.
2) The chorizo and hot dogs comprise only 50% of the different kinds of meat in this sandwich. The other two kinds of meat are milanesa and roasted pork leg.

If I recall correctly, they also have deluxe version which adds ham and a sunny-side up egg to the aforementioned ingredients. Of course, this is on top of the usual accoutrements of avocado, tomato, lettuce, onion, and refried beans.

That would be a torta cubana. They are especially prevalent in Oakland's Fruitvale district, which has a lot of immigrants from Mexico City and doesn't have the same allegiance to the burrito as most places in the City do.
posted by oneirodynia at 8:41 PM on September 4, 2012

I just want to find out exactly what this Diablo Sandwich is. It looks like a hamburger. And I bet it is delicious.

(There are a lot of restaurants that have things called diablo sandwiches, but they don't look like that sandwich.)
posted by gjc at 8:45 PM on September 4, 2012

I don't care what anyone says, you can't put fucking hot dogs in a Cubana. What next, liver sausage and ketchup in a flour tortilla gets called a taco?
posted by gjc at 8:47 PM on September 4, 2012

Doubtful -- The meat and various other innards are fully cooked, then the whole thing is stuffed into bread (which doesn't need refrigeration), and then wrapped, very, very well.

The cooking of the meat kills off any preexisting bacteria, and then the sammich is kept airtight. How exactly would enough bacteria grow overnight to make someone sick?

Wrapped in paper is airtight and bacteria doesn't grow at room temps (especially overnight)? Maybe if I'm preparing said sammich in Gus Fring's meth lab....
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 8:55 PM on September 4, 2012

What next, liver sausage and ketchup in a flour tortilla gets called a taco?

Could be a breakfast taco. It's meat, and ketchup is close enough to tomato.
posted by Malice at 8:55 PM on September 4, 2012

Refrigerate foods promptly. If prepared food stands at room temperature for more than 2 hours, it may not be safe to eat.
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 8:57 PM on September 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

Even though the US government says it will kill you, the legion of diners enjoying the tasty treat have experimental evidence that proves it incorrect.
posted by bystander at 9:00 PM on September 4, 2012

Mostly. Bread. Meat. Cheese. Lettuce. Tomato. Condiment.
posted by rmmcclay at 9:04 PM on September 4, 2012

In an earlier article they mentioned the Gym shoe. I've never had one, but it haunts my dreams.
posted by 0bs01337 at 9:05 PM on September 4, 2012

a hot dog bun? Really? Look at po-boy. Look at lobster roll. Come on, get some decent bread, lobster roll, you could be something.

All the Lobster Rolls I've enjoyed have been on big, chewy kaiser rolls.
posted by The Whelk at 9:11 PM on September 4, 2012

Don't. Refrigerate.

This is how we get violently ill.

The post meal shot of brandy kills off anything untoward.
posted by The Whelk at 9:14 PM on September 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

@Sweetie Darling and anyone else who doesn't want to go through every slide, you can view the whole slideshow on one page on the Serious Eats mobile site:

http://mobile.seriouseats.com/2012/08/what-are-the-sandwich-styles-different-american-sandwiches-regional-guide.html

If it makes the slideshow a bit less painful though, you can go through the slides using your keyboard's arrow keys instead of clicking. And I think all the slides are linked to on the main post.

Thanks for reading!
posted by roboppy at 9:19 PM on September 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

All the Lobster Rolls I've enjoyed have been on big, chewy kaiser rolls.

That's actually illegal in Maine. Hot dog bun or GTFO. Or so their license plates say.
posted by Mayor Curley at 9:20 PM on September 4, 2012 [3 favorites]

With the best ingredients, the world will never know a better sandwich than a BLT.

In one of my favorite MeFi comments ever, Divine_Wino shows us how it's done.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKK!
posted by flod at 9:39 PM on September 4, 2012 [2 favorites]

Don't forget the Stinky - Limburger, anchovies, garlic and onions with mayo on rye. Some people add liverwurst, but that's just gilding the lily.
posted by 445supermag at 9:46 PM on September 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

I only just learned about the Monte Cristo a few months ago. When my friend first told me about it I was sure he was putting me on. Even after he insisted it was a real thing, I was still suspicious until I looked it up on the internet.

Unholy, indeed.
posted by triggerfinger at 9:50 PM on September 4, 2012

I was wondering how they could leave off the sailor sandwich! Blasphemers! But turns out its just a local thing.

I take it you're from Richmond? Well, you're alright in my book, since you don't seem to be one of those filthy heretics who put sauerkraut on a sailor.
posted by strangely stunted trees at 9:54 PM on September 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

Also, I think this website has is wrong. I'm pretty sure Doner Kebabs and Gyros are the same thing.
posted by triggerfinger at 9:54 PM on September 4, 2012

And for my final comment, I will note that this list is missing a midwestern classic - the Miracle Whip sandwich (miracle whip, white bread).
posted by triggerfinger at 9:59 PM on September 4, 2012

Don't. Refrigerate.

This is how we get violently ill.

I always refrigerate mine and then let them warm slightly before serving (~30 mins). Seems a good compromise.
posted by jedicus at 10:02 PM on September 4, 2012

No love for the Cleveland Steamer? Okay, I don't know the secret except for something about needing the right kind of buns and plastic wrap.
posted by crapmatic at 10:06 PM on September 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

I'd be more worried about being thrown from my horse into a hedge than dying from a shooter's that's gone off.
posted by armage at 10:07 PM on September 4, 2012

Oh man, triggerfinger, that reminds me of my favorite childhood treats: the banana and Miracle Whip sandwich. I always assumed it was a weird "our family only" perversion, because everyone I've ever told about it just grimaces, but after a quick Google search, I guess we weren't the only ones.
posted by flod at 10:08 PM on September 4, 2012

I have 4 thoughts after reading this:

1. God damnit I am about to have an unneeded meal after dinner.
2. Why is there not a restaurant in San Diego who has a menu that is comprised of that slideshow.
3. I am bad at math.
posted by Drumhellz at 11:01 PM on September 4, 2012

My internal news ticker is just a picture of a beef on weck sandwich.
posted by troika at 11:15 PM on September 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

11 fucking 30 PM and now I'm hungry. Thanks, MetaFilter.
posted by deborah at 11:31 PM on September 4, 2012

I've had to forge my own. The sandwich is just not a thing here. Seriously. Look at the 'sandwich' section of the standard Japanese convenience store, and you will find diagonally sliced sandwiches (on white bread, crusts off), usually two to a pack, and it's always the same: the single half sandwich paired with the half an egg salad, the depressing ham sandwich (single slice of Oscar Meyer would be saddened ham, the single slice of lettuce, yellow cheesefood, and more mayonnaise than should be consumed in a calendar year), the sad deep fried pork cutlet sandwich (topped with plain sliced cabbage) that's so far from crispy it might as well have never been fried.

That's before you get to the yaki-soba (think chowmein without any of the goodness) stuffed into a hotdog bun. The sliced strawberries in whipped cream on white bread. Or the bizarre 'sandwiches' stored at room temperature where the bread forms a perfect seal around the contents, and inside, all sorts of things that shouldn't ever be room temperature (egg salad, tuna salad, teriyaki chicken).

This is what most people in Japan think of as a sandwich. Subway is here, and most people think that is representative of an American sandwich. Pret-a-Manger, the British gourmet sandwich shop was here for all of nine months. With such low expectations, people couldn't imagine a high-end sandwich that was worth paying a little extra for. (The turkey with parmesan and cranberry sauce was a dream)

On the other hand, Costco has randomly started selling torta rolls here. Slice one in half. The filling is pepper jack, bacon, chicken, more pepper jack, close, then place on hot pan, press down with a brick. Flip. Remove from pan when cheese has started to bubble from the edges. The sandwich should measure less than a half-inch thick. Slice. Enjoy what most grilled cheese only wishes it could be.
posted by Ghidorah at 11:46 PM on September 4, 2012 [2 favorites]

seeing that it further subdivides into sandwiches from American geographical reasons: "Oh come on, that's even harder to believe."

There's a great book called The Food of a Younger Land. It was a WPA project at the end of the Depression: they sent people around to collect the (even then, fapidly fading) regional vernacular food traditions of America. WWII started and the project was never finished, but recently the book was put together from the archived materials.

my favorite childhood treats: the banana and Miracle Whip sandwich.

My girlfriend's family eats banana-peanutbutter-and-miraclewhip sandwiches. I call it "The Abomination".
posted by hattifattener at 11:46 PM on September 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

Well, not a sandwich, but graham crackers with cream cheese and banana were something like manna from heaven when I was a kid.
posted by Ghidorah at 11:56 PM on September 4, 2012

In the future, all erotica novels will involve sandwiches.

I find pastrami to be the most sensual of all the salted, cured meats.
posted by clearly at 11:59 PM on September 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

I find pastrami to be the most sensual of all the salted, cured meats.

You need to spend some time with a block of coppa, a knife sharp enough to cut paper thin slices, and a quality beer. You might find your view has been altered.

The knife is also good for keeping others away from your delicious coppa.
posted by Ghidorah at 12:12 AM on September 5, 2012 [1 favorite]

Did not see čevapi. It's a great sandwich.
posted by Katjusa Roquette at 12:53 AM on September 5, 2012 [1 favorite]

Why no Vegemite?
posted by Joe in Australia at 1:19 AM on September 5, 2012

Ghidorah: I, too, have been saddened by the lack of proper sandwiches in Japan, but I have found one good place - The Earl in Akasaka. Just ate there today. Nothing amazing, but good selection (I think he gets his stuff from The Meat Guy), not expensive for the area, and friendly. Still, sandwiches are a rare breed and honestly it's hard enough getting decent deli meat to make your own.

No mention of Sarki's Lorettas? It's the only food item that made me feel inclined to do construction after eating it, though I have no idea if there's an equivalent item anywhere else.

And now I miss the place in Providence where all their sandwiches were approximately six-inch cubes, fit for feeding you all day or for two if you were on a diet. King of Clubs indeed.
posted by 23 at 1:24 AM on September 5, 2012

Born in the UK and lived here for a long, long time. Never heard of a Shooter's sandwich (and yes, my reaction was "eww, gross!"). Now prawn mayonnaise perhaps.

A good sandwich is a simple assembly of a small number of good ingredients not a building project. A child should be able to make one. Start with good bread and good butter. Then add good cheese, maybe tomato, lightly salted. Or perhaps medium rare roast beef thinly sliced, bit of horseradish, little bit of salad.
posted by epo at 2:53 AM on September 5, 2012

I wondered about the Vegemite omission too. Although it really is best on toast with real butter.
posted by bystander at 3:36 AM on September 5, 2012

Hmmm...and now epo is reminding me that cheese and tomato (with cracked pepper and salt) is a prince of sandwiches. This list needs some work.
posted by bystander at 3:37 AM on September 5, 2012

No proper Dutch sandwiches mentioned? Probably right, as what we tend to go for is the slice of white bread, margarine and bland cheese sort of sandwich, with whole grain and light cheese for the health conscious and rye bread for the elderly.
posted by MartinWisse at 3:49 AM on September 5, 2012

The note about Spanish bocadillos is somewhat wrong about condiments. Any hot bocadillo can be made better by the addition of deep fried green pepper (sweet, not spicy), and good bars will add it to your sandwich for a small extra. Pimientos verdes fritos will particularly improve your bocadillos of tortilla de patatas and your calamares (squid rings, floured and deep fried). Also lacón (boiled ham, cut from the bone) is always served with olive oil and pimentón, whether in a bocadillo or not.
posted by kandinski at 3:56 AM on September 5, 2012 [1 favorite]

Also there is a place in Madrid called Neyla where they will serve you a grilled sandwich (which in Spain is called a sandwich, not a bocadillo, since it's made with English-style sliced bread) with the following ingredients, in this order:

• Sliced cheese
• Deep fried green pepper
• A fried egg
• Anchovies

And now I have to get up and cook something for myself. In a tragic twist of fate, I think we are all out of bread, so it will have to be pasta, or rice. Dang.
posted by kandinski at 4:05 AM on September 5, 2012

Further to the Guardian link posted by Bwithh, this clip of the Two Fat Ladies may help explain the appeal of a shooter's sandwich better than the posted article.
posted by MUD at 5:17 AM on September 5, 2012 [3 favorites]

Fresh summer heirloom tomatoes.
Sourdough bread.
Homemade Mayonnaise.
Salt.
Combine in full bread jacket or open-faced configuration.
Eat.
posted by slkinsey at 5:38 AM on September 5, 2012

Why no Vegemite?

Vegemite and Marmite are both nearly unknown in the US. It's available in a few places (Cost Plus World Market is one of them), but pretty much the only knowledge people in the US have about them is the line from the Men At Work song. And even then they have no idea what it means, they just know the words.
posted by hippybear at 5:54 AM on September 5, 2012 [1 favorite]

They forgot about the classic Hawaii sandwich.
posted by Kabanos at 5:56 AM on September 5, 2012

but pretty much the only knowledge people in the US have about them is the line from the Men At Work song.

I first learned about it from an episode of Real World with that Australian model girl.
posted by nathancaswell at 6:19 AM on September 5, 2012

I'm an American who flippin' loves Marmite, but I only use it on open-faced, toasted, buttered bread. Or as a flavorful addition to the stock pot.

Is Marmite (or Vegemite, if you must) a general sandwich spread, employed on many different sandwiches, or is it mostly used specifically for a Marmite sandwich... which is, what? Marmite and butter between two slices of bread, or...?
posted by gilrain at 6:26 AM on September 5, 2012 [1 favorite]

Also, I think this website has is wrong. I'm pretty sure Doner Kebabs and Gyros are the same thing.

My wife and I took our honeymoon in maritime Canada. At some point we were at a restaurant and saw doner on the menu. Not knowing what it was, my wife asked the waiter. "Oh," he says, "you must be from Ontario. That's what people in Ontario call a gyro." So I think for large parts of the world, they are functionally the same.

That said, I'm not sure I should be learning about Greek/Turkish food from a waiter in a small town in New Brunswick. Also, if you ever meet a woman with an American accent pretending to be from Ontario, but the only thing she knows about Ontario is that they eat gyros? That's my wife, she's trying to pretend she's a spy with a secret identity, so just play along.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 6:27 AM on September 5, 2012

Iskender kebab is the one true preparation of doner kebab. Tragically, not a sandwich.
posted by nathancaswell at 6:29 AM on September 5, 2012 [2 favorites]

I should add that years later we went to Istanbul where we ate a ton of doner. I'm still not sure how they're different from gyros, but I was too busy eating them to really notice.

Also, Iskender kebab is really, really, good. Seriously. Good job Turks, we might have different opinions about whether or not you should have gone and captured Constantinople, but that shit's delicious.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 6:37 AM on September 5, 2012

The hot dog bun on clam rolls here in RI are toasted and buttered - although you can't actually see it until like half the clams are eaten. You are served a large mound of whole-belly fried clams and are told that it is a sandwich, and halfway through, hey, there's a toasted hot-dog roll in there! (Pro-Tip - smear a bit of tartar sauce on the inside of the bun if you're going to eat clams in it sandwich-style once you find it. No, all of the clams aren't going to even come close to fitting in there.)
posted by Slap*Happy at 6:41 AM on September 5, 2012 [2 favorites]

I'm surprised there wasn't at least one mention of a quesadilla, which at this point is a pretty standard form of sandwich in a lot of places.
posted by hippybear at 10:33 PM on September 4 [+] [!]

As I learned from the recently-FPP'd book review detailing Scalia's incoherent textualism, there is case law on this point. White City Shopping Center, LP v. PR Restaurants, LLC, rendered a decision that held that the word “sandwiches” in a lease did not include burritos, tacos, or quesadillas.
posted by sevenyearlurk at 6:54 AM on September 5, 2012 [4 favorites]

I should add that years later we went to Istanbul where we ate a ton of doner. I'm still not sure how they're different from gyros...

After seeing The Avengers, I looked up "shawarma" to see what kind of exotic foodstuff they were all eating at the end. It was something of a letdown to discover it was yet another culture's term for a gyro.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 7:02 AM on September 5, 2012

After seeing The Avengers, I looked up "shawarma" to see what kind of exotic foodstuff they were all eating at the end. It was something of a letdown to discover it was yet another culture's term for a gyro.

The flavoring is different. And I think a gyro has to be lamb.
posted by gjc at 7:14 AM on September 5, 2012

The sauces on all vary and overlap. A gyro is usually pork in Greece, which is probably enough to distinguish it from the Arabic versions. I'm not sure why lamb seems to predominate in the US. Possibly to accommodate Jewish and Muslim customers?
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 8:25 AM on September 5, 2012

In that list, the Belgian mitraillette is sorely missing.
posted by Skeptic at 8:31 AM on September 5, 2012

One thing that they missed about the horseshoe sandwich is that the secret's in the sauce, which as you shall note from a quick perusal of this recipe is not all that different from Welsh rarebit (at least it isn't if you use real Cheddar rather than American "cheese"). So, think Welsh rarebit, with the addition of a burger and fries.

Damn, I want one now.
posted by Halloween Jack at 8:34 AM on September 5, 2012

After seeing The Avengers, I looked up "shawarma" to see what kind of exotic foodstuff they were all eating at the end. It was something of a letdown to discover it was yet another culture's term for a gyro.

It's more accurate to think of gyros as a subset of shawarma, which takes many forms in different countries all around the Mediterranean.
posted by Halloween Jack at 8:36 AM on September 5, 2012 [1 favorite]

A gyro is usually pork in Greece, which is probably enough to distinguish it from the Arabic versions.

It's pork, or chicken for the health-conscious. I don't think I have ever seen beef or lamb, definitely not advertised as gyros.

damn I'm hungry
posted by Dr Dracator at 8:42 AM on September 5, 2012

I'm an American who flippin' loves Marmite, but I only use it on open-faced, toasted, buttered bread. Or as a flavorful addition to the stock pot.

Is Marmite (or Vegemite, if you must) a general sandwich spread, employed on many different sandwiches, or is it mostly used specifically for a Marmite sandwich... which is, what? Marmite and butter between two slices of bread, or...?
posted by gilrain at 6:26 AM on 9/5
[+] [!]


I can't speak for its Antipodean sibling, but Marmite is not generally a sandwich spread. I strongly recommend it as a spread, with ketchup, in a bacon and fried egg toasted sandwich however. I even more strongly recommend real non-veg Bovril as an enhanced substitute for the marmite, but that may be harder for you to come by
posted by Bwithh at 9:10 AM on September 5, 2012

How many other people put chips (US)/crisps (UK) in sandwiches? Perform this task in front of the initiated and they look at you like you've gone bonkers. A particular favourite of mine is Salt and Vinegar crisps in a ham sandwich, yum.
posted by das1969 at 9:23 AM on September 5, 2012 [3 favorites]

potsmokinghippieoverlord: Shooters look vile.

Sorry, Britain.

Judging sandwiches by their looks is like marrying someone for their looks: missing the point. Looks are for petit-fours and one-night stands... but even then, quality still counts.
posted by IAmBroom at 9:35 AM on September 5, 2012 [1 favorite]

How many other people put chips (US)/crisps (UK) in sandwiches?

It does add the double-tap of saltiness and crunch. White Trash Cooking, which I adore, has a "recipe" for a potato chip sandwich, although it's nothing that you couldn't have figured out yourself. (A lot of the recipes in that book are like that.)
posted by Halloween Jack at 10:17 AM on September 5, 2012

It does add the double-tap of saltiness and crunch. White Trash Cooking, which I adore, has a "recipe" for a potato chip sandwich, although it's nothing that you couldn't have figured out yourself. (A lot of the recipes in that book are like that.)

One thing I love about going home to my family* in North Carolina is that it suddenly because socially acceptable to put chips on sandwiches.

*White Trash is a problematic term, and about half of us aren't white anyway, but we are rednecks and we love putting potato chips on sandwiches.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 10:29 AM on September 5, 2012

It's more accurate to think of gyros as a subset of shawarma, which takes many forms in different countries all around the Mediterranean

That seems true, taxonomically and historically. However, most Americans, at least of my age, encountered gyros first. So, it's all Greek to me.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 11:06 AM on September 5, 2012 [1 favorite]

I've had to forge my own. The sandwich is just not a thing here.

A Canadian JET participant at a nearby school started making croque monsieur one year and the next year (when I visited their fair) it was basically the whole neighbourhood lining up to get one. Twice.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 11:26 AM on September 5, 2012

Reuben is hands-down my favorite, with tons of sauerkraut and an unreasonable amount of yellow mustard instead of Russian or Thousand Island dressing. Dark rye is preferable.
posted by owtytrof at 1:15 PM on September 5, 2012 [2 favorites]

As a native of Los Angeles I have been rapid-cycling between wishing I had an oyster po' boy and wishing I had a lobster roll since I read this yesterday. It has been most frustrating.

And yeah, the west section is so thin because for some mad reason they don't consider burritos to be sandwiches. The burrito varies from city to city up and down California and people have very strong preferences about what city does it right. I went down to San Diego for a wedding a couple weeks back and made a burrito run afterwards, and seriously, seriously, teared up when I had my first bite of a Cotixan's burrito in several years.
posted by town of cats at 8:46 PM on September 5, 2012

Wow some of the American ones look crazy (the Reuben, Barbecue Sandwich, Loose Meat of course, and whoa the New York Deli Sandwich... how much meat can you guys pack into bread?!), some look like fascinating bastardisations of all sorts of immigrant-community-American influences (yeah just add "French" or "Italian" or "Cuban" and put lots of beef in it!), some outright appropriations (oi! the shawarma in the "American sandwiches" list?! tsk!), in the end the simple old classics always win (shame on underrepresentation of bagels, though, or they could have picked a better picture at least).

The international list sees a surely well deserved if perhaps excessive presence of Latin/South American sandwiches (hmmmm Mexican torta hmmm), and as for bagels does a slight disservice to the infinite variations of simple Brit classics like tea sandwhiches and toasties (yeah ok they mention that but photos!), and leaves several serious gaps. Like, I'm shocked and almost offended* by the lack of inclusion of the piadina romagnola, the handmade original version with full lard, not the Starbucks misnamed version - and Serious Eats had a piece on that so why did they forget, tsk tsk... (and I'm going to be extra pedantic and point out that not even their anti-starbucks selection is actually the most typical way it's served, it's more like this or this).



[*not really, just theatrical exaggeration for effect in typical Italian fashion when proudly defending food traditions, one of the few things worth being snobbishly proud of, maybe the only thing ever worth being patriotic about]
posted by bitteschoen at 12:57 AM on September 6, 2012

Vegemite is most definitely a routine sandwich spread in Australia. White bread, butter and vegemite raised 50% of primary schoolers. Add a slice of cheese if you want. And a lettuce leaf (rarely) if you want to be healthy. But that is about it for common variations.
As for vegemite on buttered toast, well, that was breakfast for about 90% of the nation at one time or another. I had it today.
posted by bystander at 3:59 AM on September 6, 2012