Comments on: Flowers are very pretty

Flowers are very pretty

Chrysostom — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 14:49:38 -0800

By: not that girl

not that girl — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 14:55:12 -0800

His Look! A Book! is a favorite at our house, but I didn't find the pedophilia theme running through these joke books particularly clever or funny.

By: Bookhouse

Bookhouse — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 15:04:34 -0800

but I didn't find the pedophilia theme running through these joke books particularly clever or funny. Whereas I did (although they were perhaps a little overdone).

By: Noms_Tiem

Noms_Tiem — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 15:05:27 -0800

"The Five Alarm Fire in Captain Joe's Pants" feels like it should be the title for an actual gay porn flick. Something involving getting out your firehouse and dousing these flames.

By: Phalene

Phalene — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 15:11:04 -0800

I had a good portion of the little golden books shown here...

By: Thorzdad

Thorzdad — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 15:14:21 -0800

Love the Dead Whales book. Pitch-perfect.

By: ChurchHatesTucker

ChurchHatesTucker — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 15:14:47 -0800

Dead Whales Can't Wave Back sounds real.

By: brundlefly

brundlefly — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 15:14:52 -0800

What happens if you give a cyclops a kitten? I must know!

By: ChurchHatesTucker

ChurchHatesTucker — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 15:15:24 -0800

Dammit Thorzdad!

By: asnider

asnider — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 15:18:07 -0800

I would totally read Green Eggs and Ham on Rye.

By: wittgenstein

wittgenstein — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 15:20:42 -0800

Worth it for When Will You Die of Cancer? alone...

By: Slothrup

Slothrup — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 15:39:02 -0800

I was expecting "Goodnight Moon" or "Runaway Bunny".

By: Kid Charlemagne

Kid Charlemagne — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 15:43:07 -0800

but I didn't find the pedophilia theme running through these joke books particularly clever or funny. I think the recurrent pedophilia theme in the "let's mock the covers of children's books" genre of humor is rooted in the question, "Who thought this art was a good idea?" or maybe the observation, "I'm sorry, but you're no Norman Rockwell". In other news, I had no idea that the model for that photo was a real live Massachusetts state police officer or that he died earlier this year... .

By: Blazecock Pileon

Blazecock Pileon — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 16:03:22 -0800

What happens if you give a cyclops a kitten? I must know! No one knows what it's like To see the things that I've seen A kitty that loves to preen Graffiti on my house that is obscene An angry mob outside that likes to scream Behind blue eye

By: Secret Life of Gravy

Secret Life of Gravy — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 16:08:30 -0800

I had a good portion of the little golden books shown here... Oh so did I, which makes them even more hilarious to me. There is something very mockable about the Little Golden Books. Fido Finds a Dildo! Hah!

By: DU

DU — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 16:08:47 -0800

"Theme"? I see two jokes. Although comments here are making me think others are able to read the fake books somehow? I just see covers.

By: girandole

girandole — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 16:27:35 -0800

DU, I count 4: Timmy & Officer Sandusky, the fire in Captain Joe's pants, Billy is the Monsignor's favorite, and the wood love dolls.

By: asnider

asnider — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 16:30:37 -0800

Although comments here are making me think others are able to read the fake books somehow? Nope, just the covers. I'm not sure which comments made you think otherwise.

By: darksasami

darksasami — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 16:31:32 -0800

A friend of mine, inspired by a Strong Bad email, once defaced a Little Golden Book.

By: GenjiandProust

GenjiandProust — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 16:36:27 -0800

What happens if you give a cyclops a kitten? I must know! He's going to ask for a glass of milk, of course!

By: MCMikeNamara

MCMikeNamara — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 16:54:13 -0800

What happens if you give a cyclops a kitten? I must know! Well, something about the picture screamed "Lenny's puppy" if you get my drift.

By: DU

DU — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 16:59:55 -0800

Yep, I'm definitely not seeing everything. I see no Monsignor cover and I scanned like 4 times. No wait...I finally found it. The Jewish violin and Evil Twins kept distracting me. The wood love doll isn't a pedophilia joke, it's a Real Doll joke.

By: asnider

asnider — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 17:25:23 -0800

The wood love doll isn't a pedophilia joke Pinocchio begs to differ.

By: louche mustachio

louche mustachio — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 17:29:27 -0800

Pinocchio begs to differ. "Your words say "no," but your nose says, "yes."

By: PhoBWanKenobi

PhoBWanKenobi — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 17:53:20 -0800

I think the recurrent pedophilia theme in the "let's mock the covers of children's books" genre of humor is rooted in the question, "Who thought this art was a good idea?" or maybe the observation, "I'm sorry, but you're no Norman Rockwell". Maybe I'm overly sentimental when it comes to children's book artists, but this joke actually kind of upsets me. Eloise Wilkin, f'rinstance? A very talented lady. Her books were beautiful, other worldly, just a touch kitsch and weird but also very tender and real, able to perfectly capture both the emotions of an age (namely 3 or 4) and the era in which she was working. Try as I might, I just can never get behind such cynicism inserted into such otherwise earnest work.

By: newdaddy

newdaddy — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 18:31:11 -0800

I'm passing on this one. After too many SpongeBob and Fairy Barbie and overly violent Lego Ninja books (brought home from the library under protest) I have reaffirmed my not just nostalgia but real affection for at least some of the Golden Books being made fun of here.

By: dr_dank

dr_dank — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 18:49:05 -0800

PhoBWanKenobi: Eloise Wilkin, f'rinstance? A very talented lady. Her books were beautiful, other worldly, just a touch kitsch and weird Just a touch? Did you see Baby Dear? For those who haven't had the pleasure of perusing Baby Dear, here's the synopsis: Mom and Dad bring home a new baby sibling and a baby doll for the big sister to care for. Said baby doll looks like a drowning victim that took several blows to the cheeks with a heavy lead pipe.

By: PhoBWanKenobi

PhoBWanKenobi — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 18:58:17 -0800

It always looked like the stylized image of a pretty normal 50s/60s baby doll to me. But really, it's hard for me to be hyperbolic about something like this.

By: Miko

Miko — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 19:04:27 -0800

I'm with PhoB. The graphic design is spot on, but the jokes are mean and/or tired.

By: she's not there

she's not there — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 19:05:29 -0800

I'm going to forward this to my 20 year old son who keeps insisting that the production of Shockheaded Peter I took him to when he was about 9 years old was definitely not appropriate for children.

By: George_Spiggott

George_Spiggott — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 19:47:34 -0800

Y'know, this kind of wry 'slap at innocence' humor-substitute was funny when it went mainstream with, say, the first season of SNL way back in the mid-70s, but it's pretty much the opposite of startling now. It's actually expected. This shit is OLD. Still, this guy rocks a decent set of kitch and retro fonts and has a good eye for applying them. The joke-surrogates are just stale and obvious though.

By: Isadorady

Isadorady — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 19:59:15 -0800

Well, I collect Golden Books, loved them as a child , read them to my kids, use them in art projects and I think these are funny. And I really want to read the Charles Bukowski one.

By: ThatFuzzyBastard

ThatFuzzyBastard — Tue, 11 Sep 2012 20:54:35 -0800

Let's Hurry or We'll Miss the Public Lynching has cracked me up multiple times in the last few hours.

By: hurdy gurdy girl

hurdy gurdy girl — Wed, 12 Sep 2012 00:10:56 -0800

Oh my God, PhoBWanKenobe, The New Baby book you linked to...I had a copy of that! I had completely forgotten about it but it all came back to me as soon as I saw that illustration of the big brother looking out the window. My parents must have gotten it for me when they were expecting my brother. (I was very young, so I don't know if it helped prepare me at all, but I really liked the book.) Thank you for linking to it.

By: charlesminus

charlesminus — Wed, 12 Sep 2012 09:16:55 -0800

Anybody else getting this? Forbidden You don't have permission to access /badchildrensbooks/ on this server.

By: doctornemo

doctornemo — Wed, 12 Sep 2012 09:32:13 -0800

Just getting that now, charlesminus.

By: Goofyy

Goofyy — Wed, 12 Sep 2012 10:13:27 -0800

I got the no permission bullshit.

By: gottabefunky

gottabefunky — Wed, 12 Sep 2012 10:39:12 -0800

I still give my friend shit who gave us Stranger in the Woods: A Photographic Fantasy a few years ago. Pretty book, unfortunate title.