The Bionic Wiki

September 17, 2012 11:39 AM

The Bionic Wiki is a collaborative project to create the most comprehensive information database for the Bionic universe as presented in the 1970's science-fiction, action-adventure series, The Six Million Dollar Man and The Bionic Woman.

Six million dollars in 1974 money would be $28 million today.

The Bionic Woman has a substantial fan site of its own. The show's theme was composed by soundtrack great Jerry Fielding.

The third and last reunion movie finally delivered the bionic wedding.

posted by Egg Shen (43 comments total)

Seriously, six million dollars was too little back then for bionics, let alone now.
posted by Ironmouth at 11:52 AM on September 17, 2012

No results found for "Bill Haverchuck"

You disappoint me, Internet.
posted by bondcliff at 11:53 AM on September 17, 2012 [2 favorites]

...is discovered that Bigfoot is really an alien android created by a group of aliens visiting earth; he was constructed by the alien Shalon in imitation of a lower form of life from the alien homeworld, using a technology called "Niosynthenics", an advanced form of Bionics which were powered by Mergeron. His main purpose, initially, was to create a cult of mystery and fear in a remote part of the Pacific Northwest in order to protect the location and identity of his masters' earth base.

I watched this show religiously at ages 5-6 but have no memory of these aliens. I can't decide if this makes me better off.
posted by waraw at 11:57 AM on September 17, 2012

Nununununununuh!
posted by ShutterBun at 11:58 AM on September 17, 2012 [2 favorites]

But not the 2007 reboot ? (off to go look now ..)
posted by k5.user at 11:59 AM on September 17, 2012

And of course they had Max, the 1 million dollar dog. (Max-a-million) (The joke they used. Not my fault.)
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 12:00 PM on September 17, 2012

Where do I add an entry on how my parents struggled with the bionicly important decision of whether to name their daughter Lindsey or Jaime?
posted by orme at 12:04 PM on September 17, 2012 [2 favorites]

I think I remember the Bigfoot thing - somehow I associate with my cousin's Six Million Dollar Man action figure...the one where you could roll the arm skin back to see the circuits, peer through the back of his head to look out the bionic eye, etc.
posted by jquinby at 12:04 PM on September 17, 2012 [1 favorite]

I watched the show to death as a kid but the only memories that remain are of watching the alien episodes while under an oxygen tent at the hospital with pneumonia. They are fond memories, though.
posted by charred husk at 12:04 PM on September 17, 2012

The Six Million Dollar Man apparently couldn't afford to moisturize, going by that wedding scene.
posted by lineofsight at 12:11 PM on September 17, 2012 [1 favorite]

I watched this show religiously at ages 5-6 but have no memory of these aliens. I can't decide if this makes me better off.

What are you kidding? The hallway to their ship still shows up in my dreams. Here's Sandy Duncan showing it to Lindsay Wagner at 10:35
posted by lumpenprole at 12:19 PM on September 17, 2012 [2 favorites]

Also, this reminded me of the time I had the flu and watched Bionic Showdown a few years ago. A young Sandra Bullock was hilariously bad in it.
posted by lumpenprole at 12:22 PM on September 17, 2012 [1 favorite]

I was a member of the Steve Austin fan club. Autographed picture and a special iron-on patch my mom put on my jeans jacket.

One thing that has not changed since 1976: No amount of squinting allows me to read license plates from ten blocks away, even when I make the special sound under my breath.
posted by mph at 12:28 PM on September 17, 2012 [3 favorites]

After my mother, Jaime Sommers was the first woman I ever loved.
posted by Egg Shen at 12:32 PM on September 17, 2012 [3 favorites]

Lindsay Wagner was at one of those weird "hey, come by and I'll sign stuff and sell you photos" booths at Comic-Con a couple years back, and I saw to my utter horror there was no line of people waiting to meet her. She was sitting with a female friend, who might have either been a companion or an agent/manager, chatting, and I walked up and TOTALLY FANBOYED OUT.

Looking back, I'm kind of ashamed all I could do was gush about how much she influenced me as a lad and that she was still so beautiful. Kind of shallow. But in my very, very light defense, having Lindsay Wagner 2 feet away from you really illustrates how much standard definition video would dim someone's good looks and even at 60 her eyes would make me crash my ship into the rocks. I can imagine what it must have been like seeing her in person in 1976.

Anyway, not proud of myself, but what a lady.
posted by jscott at 12:39 PM on September 17, 2012 [6 favorites]

Fun Facts: In The Six Million Dollar Man, the infamous Death Probe bore an uncanny likeness to a set of villains from a certain BBC series; the supporting character of Oscar Goldman in Six Million was played by the father of the star of MacGyver, a series created by Terry Nation, one of the scriptwriters for Doctor Who; while Steve Austin and MacGyver were government agents in their respective shows, it was only inevitable for a scaled-down faceoff to occur; both Six Million and MacGuyver had their start on the American Broadcasting Company's network, though Six later j-u-m-p-e-d to NBC.
posted by Smart Dalek at 12:40 PM on September 17, 2012 [1 favorite]

I watched this show religiously at ages 5-6 but have no memory of these aliens.

I do. In my house the Six Million Dollar Man/Bigfoot match was as momentous as Frank and Joe Hardy's meeting with Nancy Drew.

I had forgotten that Sandy Duncan was one of the aliens, though.

The hallway to their ship still shows up in my dreams.

In my dreams, everything looks like an ABC TV show ca. 1977.
posted by octobersurprise at 12:41 PM on September 17, 2012 [3 favorites]

I had that action figure! Wish I still did.
posted by Mister_A at 12:53 PM on September 17, 2012

I enjoyed the Martin Caidin novel Cyborg, and the original made-for-tv movie. These were quite a bit darker than the series though still with a sense of humor. In the novel, he's married, like all good astronauts. She's advised to leave him -- by Oscar, I guess. She does so, her character disappears, and now he's got nobody but his handlers. He's also initially suicidal and had a bit of a death-wish. I think there were robot dolphins in the second novel, unless I'm confusing it with something else.

I must admit that I bailed on the series after a while. I never saw the Bionic Woman or any of the more ludicrous paranormal / UFO - based plots. The 1970s was a time of new age huxterism (Van Daniken, Casteneda, Geller) as well as technologiy optimiism, so I suppose the cyborg-meets-bigfoot-meets-space aliens mash-up plots must've seemed plausible to a segment of the audience. They'd already lost me.

I recall that before the accident Col. Austin was supposed to have been the commander of Apollo 20 and was known as "the last man to walk on the moon" (tough break for Gene Cernan). Apollo 20 was a real planned mission that was scrubbed in 1970 (tough break for Stuart Roosa).
 
posted by Herodios at 12:55 PM on September 17, 2012 [1 favorite]

Why wasn't there a bionic cat?!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:55 PM on September 17, 2012

Smart Dalek:
"MacGyver, a series created by Terry Nation"

REALLY?
(checks internet)
I had no idea...
posted by charred husk at 12:59 PM on September 17, 2012 [1 favorite]

Lumpenprole - I just watched the segment and thought - Hey, that's the rotating ice tunnel from the Universal Studios tour that I went on when I was SEVEN. And sure enough, the wiki confirms it. Magic!
posted by Sparx at 1:05 PM on September 17, 2012 [1 favorite]

I suppose the cyborg-meets-bigfoot-meets-space aliens mash-up plots must've seemed plausible to a segment of the audience.

Well, being ten years old helped a lot.

And not to derail a discussion of these genuine American heroes, but Wikipedia's description of Hardy Boys episode 22, "The Strange Fate of Flight 608," is too awesome not to point out:

"After the pilots are mysteriously knocked out, Frank and Joe Hardy crash land a commercial airplane full of gorgeous stewardesses on a deserted island in the Bermuda Triangle after a major tropical storm."

What a shame Bigfoot couldn't have squeezed in there somehow, but still, that's television!
posted by octobersurprise at 1:13 PM on September 17, 2012 [1 favorite]

FYI, Biff Bang Pow Toys recently released the first wave of a new Six Million Dollar Man action figure line in Mego scale.
posted by MegoSteve at 1:13 PM on September 17, 2012

Herodios, that little touch of alternate history really blew my mind! I was a space nut and I knew how many landings had been done, knew who was on 'em so it really thrilled me to see that they were forking off from actual documented (fake, Kubrick-staged) events. I was 7 at the time I think.
posted by Mister_A at 1:13 PM on September 17, 2012

I had Maskatron when I was a kid!

When I was six, my parents took us to England to meet the family. In anticipation of this major trip, I was given money to buy things that would allow me to remember the green and pleasant land. My first day in London, I bought the Steve Austin and Maskatron dolls. They failed to appreciate how that was money well spent. Steve Austin came with an engine block, to show how he was strong enough to lift an engine block. Modern toys don't have such contextual add-ons.
posted by One Hand Slowclapping at 1:14 PM on September 17, 2012 [1 favorite]

the supporting character of Oscar Goldman in Six Million was played by the father of the star of MacGyver...

They're both named Richard Anderson, but they're not related.
posted by rocket88 at 1:15 PM on September 17, 2012

Yes! The engine block! Cuz Steve Austin is a strong man!
posted by Mister_A at 1:24 PM on September 17, 2012 [1 favorite]

I had this . And wish I still did.

I think the second-best band name ever would be "Oscar Goldman's Exploding Briefcase"
posted by das_2099 at 1:26 PM on September 17, 2012 [2 favorites]

Oscar Goldman with Exploding Briefcase is one of the few toys with a leisure suit.
posted by One Hand Slowclapping at 1:32 PM on September 17, 2012 [1 favorite]

Lee Majors was my first serious celebrity crush, around age 11. I would seriously get wet while reading about him late at night, under the covers, in "Dynamite" magazine.
posted by sockerpup at 1:32 PM on September 17, 2012 [2 favorites]

The tunnel in the Big Foot episode was actually the Ice Tunnel part of the Universal Studios Glacier Avalanche ride. Pictures here, including a picture of Andre the Giant as Bigfoot in the tunnel. In fifth grade the Big Foot episodes were the greatest two hours of television ever.
posted by Slack-a-gogo at 1:38 PM on September 17, 2012 [2 favorites]

My youngest sister is named Jami for the Bionic Woman. I guess my parents loved the show circa 1978.
posted by cass at 1:41 PM on September 17, 2012 [2 favorites]

I had Maskatron when I was a kid!

Me too. Also had the Bigfoot.

But I loved Maskatron because he was one of the several roles John Saxon. Played on the show. I don't know why, but I've always had a really soft spot in my heart for him. From being Bruce Lee's American pal in Enter The Dragon, to being the skeptical sherrif dad in the first Nightmare On Elm Street, to being in my favorite MST3K movie 'Mitchell' with Joe Don Baker, to his early western work with people like Richard Widmark and Brando, there's never a time that I see him on screen where I'm not psyched.
posted by lumpenprole at 2:01 PM on September 17, 2012 [1 favorite]

"Oscar Goldman's Exploding Briefcase"

...was one of the coolest toys ever created. I used to carry it around just pretending it was my own miniature briefcase full of radios and spy gadgets (screw Oscar Goldman's doll), all of which would explode if you tried opening it the wrong way. Also Maskatron. So amazing.

I suppose the cyborg-meets-bigfoot-meets-space aliens mash-up plots must've seemed plausible to a segment of the audience

Like maybe a seven-year-old kid who was terrified of the UFOs hiding in his closet who were not aliens but visitors in a time-machine from the future.
posted by straight at 2:02 PM on September 17, 2012 [1 favorite]

Oh, wow! Talk about memories. I remember playing with the same figure jquinby had (although the plastic skin on his arm fell off), and I remember loving that bionic dog so much, I begged my parents for a pet just like it, but to no avail. (They did take me to all the Benji movies, though.) And those robots scared the crap out of me as kid! Really, really spooky creatures.
posted by Kevin Street at 2:03 PM on September 17, 2012

Fembots! They scared the hell out of me, when their faces got knocked off and there was that synthy sound-effect and you saw their whole eyeballs and that exaust pipe mouth.

We used to play "Bionic Man" at recess, which basically entailed running around and jumping in slow motion (I never understood why slo-mo was the device that signified "fast") and making that noise. And I had an enormous crush on Lindsay Wagner.
posted by chococat at 2:54 PM on September 17, 2012 [2 favorites]

Strangely, Bigfoot from Bigfoot and Wildboy was not an alien robot, but he still makes bionic noises when he runs and jumps. (Not to be confused with that funky percussive 70's disco guitar in the theme music.)
posted by straight at 3:02 PM on September 17, 2012 [1 favorite]

We used to play "Bionic Man" at recess, which basically entailed running around and jumping in slow motion...

I think the slow motion moves actually saved us a lot of accidental injuries during our play fight scenes.

Also, is it weird that I can still remember the weird, rubbery smell of that action figure?
posted by orme at 5:01 PM on September 17, 2012

Also, is it weird that I can still remember the weird, rubbery smell of that action figure?

And how the joints made a wierd crackly sound when you bent them.
Also, those red and white adidas-looking shoes...
posted by Chrischris at 7:51 PM on September 17, 2012

The most trouble I got into as a preteen was when I stole a collector's-issue 40% silver Eisenhower dollar from my mom's nightstand to buy the Six Million Dollar Man issue of Dynamite. The guy behind the counter must have asked me six times if I was really sure I wanted to use that dollar. It was totally worth it though.
posted by Lazlo at 9:34 PM on September 17, 2012 [1 favorite]

That fucking Bigfoot. I literally avoided the trees at the bottom of the garden for years because of that fight. Steve Austin ripping it's arm off...
posted by Packed Lunch at 12:06 AM on September 18, 2012

I was a member of the Steve Austin fan club.

Yo! Represent!
posted by mikelieman at 3:41 AM on September 18, 2012