Last One is Tops
September 22, 2012 4:33 PM Subscribe
All 32 NFL Quarterbacks and their Muppet Doppelgangers. Single link Buzzfeed.
That made me like Tony Romo a little bit.
With that sad... If you worked in personalities, Philip Rivers would be Sam the Eagle.
posted by drezdn at 4:37 PM on September 22, 2012
With that sad... If you worked in personalities, Philip Rivers would be Sam the Eagle.
posted by drezdn at 4:37 PM on September 22, 2012
Ryan Fitzpatrick - Behemouth
Ryan Fitzpatrick always looks like he could be nodding along to an instructive homebrewing lecture or picking weeviles out of his oatcake before storming Gettysburg.
posted by The Whelk at 4:39 PM on September 22, 2012 [9 favorites]
Ryan Fitzpatrick always looks like he could be nodding along to an instructive homebrewing lecture or picking weeviles out of his oatcake before storming Gettysburg.
posted by The Whelk at 4:39 PM on September 22, 2012 [9 favorites]
Wait, the Newsman is different from Guy Smiley? WTF? I'm having one of those moments, like, maybe out of body? Something strange is happening, anyway.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 4:41 PM on September 22, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 4:41 PM on September 22, 2012 [1 favorite]
Some of those Muppets are pretty effin' obscure. Also, no Tom Brady?
posted by briank at 4:42 PM on September 22, 2012
posted by briank at 4:42 PM on September 22, 2012
Brady: http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/web05/2012/9/19/23/enhanced-buzz-18020-1348111812-1.jpg
posted by ericost at 4:45 PM on September 22, 2012
posted by ericost at 4:45 PM on September 22, 2012
The newsman is always being totally frantic and is on The Muppet Show rather than Sesame Street, where Guy Smiley is usually pretty sedate.
posted by shakespeherian at 4:47 PM on September 22, 2012
posted by shakespeherian at 4:47 PM on September 22, 2012
Thanks, ericost, I totally missed that one. And Pepe the King Prawn is my favorite "new" Muppet, to boot!
posted by briank at 4:49 PM on September 22, 2012
posted by briank at 4:49 PM on September 22, 2012
Somehow I had managed to conflate them for all these years. Huh.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 4:49 PM on September 22, 2012
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 4:49 PM on September 22, 2012
I might have gone with something different for Michael Vick. I'm sure it was 100% unintentional, but that muppet looks like a racial caricature when you compare someone who's black with it.
I'm not outraged, just uncomfortable.
posted by Mayor Curley at 5:26 PM on September 22, 2012 [1 favorite]
I'm not outraged, just uncomfortable.
posted by Mayor Curley at 5:26 PM on September 22, 2012 [1 favorite]
I'm very impressed with the obscurity of a lot of these Muppets. Someone at Buzzfeed did their homework.
posted by Faint of Butt at 5:29 PM on September 22, 2012
posted by Faint of Butt at 5:29 PM on September 22, 2012
I must be behind the times as I've never heard of The Bread Monster. Is it a healthier Cookie Monster?
posted by TheDonF at 5:31 PM on September 22, 2012 [2 favorites]
posted by TheDonF at 5:31 PM on September 22, 2012 [2 favorites]
Metafilter: I'm not outraged, just uncomfortable.
posted by Lipstick Thespian at 5:31 PM on September 22, 2012 [4 favorites]
posted by Lipstick Thespian at 5:31 PM on September 22, 2012 [4 favorites]
Some of those Muppets are pretty effin' obscure.
Guy Smiley? Totally not his name. Born as one Bernie Liederkrantz, FTW.
posted by MonkeyToes at 5:43 PM on September 22, 2012 [3 favorites]
Guy Smiley? Totally not his name. Born as one Bernie Liederkrantz, FTW.
posted by MonkeyToes at 5:43 PM on September 22, 2012 [3 favorites]
Poor Aaron Rodgers doesn't even get the better known rat. Love Locker / Crazy Harry.
posted by graymouser at 5:52 PM on September 22, 2012
posted by graymouser at 5:52 PM on September 22, 2012
I might have gone with something different for Michael Vick. I'm sure it was 100% unintentional, but that muppet looks like a racial
Conversely, I feel worse for Jo Beth Garfdoohoo, unless there's an episode I missed where he drowns, electrocutes and tortures dogs.
posted by Ufez Jones at 5:54 PM on September 22, 2012
Conversely, I feel worse for Jo Beth Garfdoohoo, unless there's an episode I missed where he drowns, electrocutes and tortures dogs.
posted by Ufez Jones at 5:54 PM on September 22, 2012
Some of those Muppets are pretty effin' obscure.
There are over 2700 characters listed in the Muppets Wiki.
I'm sorry it was limited to starting quarterbacks, because Tim Tebow and Elmo... prefect match for the two most annoying creatures on earth.
And in the comments someone pointed to a Congressional Muppet list. Yeah, Fozzie Frank and Rizzo Waxman, but Scooter Boehner?
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:57 PM on September 22, 2012
There are over 2700 characters listed in the Muppets Wiki.
I'm sorry it was limited to starting quarterbacks, because Tim Tebow and Elmo... prefect match for the two most annoying creatures on earth.
And in the comments someone pointed to a Congressional Muppet list. Yeah, Fozzie Frank and Rizzo Waxman, but Scooter Boehner?
posted by oneswellfoop at 5:57 PM on September 22, 2012
That's an insult to Kermit the Frog. Fuck Mark Sanchez.
Totally lost it at Roethlisberger.
posted by XhaustedProphet at 5:58 PM on September 22, 2012 [1 favorite]
Totally lost it at Roethlisberger.
posted by XhaustedProphet at 5:58 PM on September 22, 2012 [1 favorite]
Some of these were a bit of a stretch (in that the resemblance is incredibly vague beyond sort of holding a somewhat similar facial expression), but the Joe Flacco one is spot on and I cracked up at the Phillip Rivers/Angry Miss Piggy comparison.
posted by The Gooch at 6:17 PM on September 22, 2012 [3 favorites]
posted by The Gooch at 6:17 PM on September 22, 2012 [3 favorites]
As a Lions guy, I was kind of meh on the Stafford one.
Eli Manning, though? That shit is priceless.
FUCK YOU ELI
posted by kbanas at 6:19 PM on September 22, 2012 [2 favorites]
Eli Manning, though? That shit is priceless.
FUCK YOU ELI
posted by kbanas at 6:19 PM on September 22, 2012 [2 favorites]
I have never heard of, like, half of these guys.
Does this mean you've heard of all of the Muppets and none of the quarterbacks?
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 6:22 PM on September 22, 2012
Does this mean you've heard of all of the Muppets and none of the quarterbacks?
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 6:22 PM on September 22, 2012
Is there a fantasy league for the muppet players? Like blood bowl or something?
posted by vrakatar at 6:32 PM on September 22, 2012
posted by vrakatar at 6:32 PM on September 22, 2012
If you worked in personalities, Philip Rivers would be Sam the Eagle.
90% of the time he's on the sidelines, Phil Rivers looks like he's having a snit fit.
posted by Diablevert at 6:55 PM on September 22, 2012 [1 favorite]
90% of the time he's on the sidelines, Phil Rivers looks like he's having a snit fit.
posted by Diablevert at 6:55 PM on September 22, 2012 [1 favorite]
Those whom the gods wish to destroy they first make starting quarterback for the Bears.
(... and then assign them way obscure muppets, apparently.)
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 8:32 PM on September 22, 2012 [2 favorites]
(... and then assign them way obscure muppets, apparently.)
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 8:32 PM on September 22, 2012 [2 favorites]
Guy Smiley? Totally not his name. Born as one Bernie Liederkrantz, FTW.
During a muppet-themed play-by-email Mafia game I ran last year, we had the Sesame Workshop characters be the mafia, and gave Guy Smiley the weakness that if anyone ever said the words "Bernie Liederkrantz" for some reason, Smiley would automatically die, like Rumplestiltskin-style.
It did not come up.
posted by Navelgazer at 9:57 PM on September 22, 2012 [4 favorites]
During a muppet-themed play-by-email Mafia game I ran last year, we had the Sesame Workshop characters be the mafia, and gave Guy Smiley the weakness that if anyone ever said the words "Bernie Liederkrantz" for some reason, Smiley would automatically die, like Rumplestiltskin-style.
It did not come up.
posted by Navelgazer at 9:57 PM on September 22, 2012 [4 favorites]
I follow the NFL extremely closely and I had no idea Christian Ponder was 17 in 1959. Seriously wtf is with that picture?
posted by nathancaswell at 10:36 PM on September 22, 2012
posted by nathancaswell at 10:36 PM on September 22, 2012
Holy shit I just got to the end of the article and "Eli Manning = Eli Manning" is brilliant.
But not as brilliant as smoking Jay Cutler.
posted by nathancaswell at 10:40 PM on September 22, 2012 [1 favorite]
But not as brilliant as smoking Jay Cutler.
posted by nathancaswell at 10:40 PM on September 22, 2012 [1 favorite]
But not as brilliant as smoking Jay Cutler.
Gentlemen.
That is one of those Tumblrs where I cannot believe there is four pages of that one thing.
posted by louche mustachio at 10:51 PM on September 22, 2012 [1 favorite]
Gentlemen.
That is one of those Tumblrs where I cannot believe there is four pages of that one thing.
posted by louche mustachio at 10:51 PM on September 22, 2012 [1 favorite]
Who the heck is Gertha?
What the heck does Matt Ryan have to do to get a FAMOUS Muppet?
Besides win a playoff game.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 11:22 PM on September 22, 2012
What the heck does Matt Ryan have to do to get a FAMOUS Muppet?
Besides win a playoff game.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 11:22 PM on September 22, 2012
My guess is that about half the people who start reading this list will stop reading before Eli Manning, because it's a long list with a lot of filler. When you only have one really great joke, if it's going to be your kicker, you can't make a 32-item list.
This has been A Grump's Guide To Frivolous Listmaking.
With that said, the Eli Manning joke is outstanding.
posted by Linda_Holmes at 5:15 AM on September 23, 2012 [1 favorite]
This has been A Grump's Guide To Frivolous Listmaking.
With that said, the Eli Manning joke is outstanding.
posted by Linda_Holmes at 5:15 AM on September 23, 2012 [1 favorite]
Everyone is so rectangular.
Quarterbacks are square, yes.
Also, yes the Eli joke was pretty good.
posted by Mister_A at 8:05 AM on September 23, 2012
Quarterbacks are square, yes.
Also, yes the Eli joke was pretty good.
posted by Mister_A at 8:05 AM on September 23, 2012
jalexei: "Even as a Giants fan, I loved this."
ESPECIALLY as a Big Blue fan I loved this!
posted by AugustWest at 8:41 AM on September 23, 2012
ESPECIALLY as a Big Blue fan I loved this!
posted by AugustWest at 8:41 AM on September 23, 2012
It wasn't worth the 32 unfunny and not-even-close muppet comparisons just to get to the Eli Manning payoff joke.
posted by rocket88 at 9:15 AM on September 23, 2012
posted by rocket88 at 9:15 AM on September 23, 2012
Some of these made no sense. The Monday morning buzzfeed quarterback in me thinks this could have been trimmed down to a strong 20 or a brilliant 10.
posted by chemoboy at 10:06 AM on September 23, 2012
posted by chemoboy at 10:06 AM on September 23, 2012
Yeah, I'm pissed cause my Saints suck at 0-3 but Drew Brees as my favorite Muppet Gonzo helps.
posted by govtdrone at 4:08 PM on September 23, 2012
posted by govtdrone at 4:08 PM on September 23, 2012
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Worth it.
posted by shakespeherian at 4:36 PM on September 22, 2012 [7 favorites]