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#ExilePitbull
September 25, 2012 12:38 PM   Subscribe

#ExilePitbull / Bullfrog On The Moon: Boston Phoenix music writer David Thorpe discovers that WalMart will send internationally-renowned musician Pitbull to whichever WalMart location gets the most Likes on facebook; he enlists the internet to send Pitbull to the most isolated WalMart he can find, and learns a little something about building his personal brand in the process.
posted by Greg Nog (23 comments total) 10 users marked this as a favorite

 
Holy shit David Thorpe has been writing a column for how long? I lost track of SA somewhere around 2005, but I looked forward to anything he was involved with and I think all my free time just evaporated.

Also, I can't help but picture him as Hannibal and the rest of SA as a cross between Murdock and drunk B.A. Baracus.
posted by griphus at 12:42 PM on September 25, 2012


What is wrong with these people? I'd kill for a trip to Kodiak, AK.
posted by eugenen at 12:55 PM on September 25, 2012 [1 favorite]


Then you'll just have to kill Pitbull and assume his identity, presumably.
posted by elizardbits at 12:57 PM on September 25, 2012 [5 favorites]


you can probably rap better than him already
posted by desjardins at 12:58 PM on September 25, 2012 [3 favorites]


Willing to kill is one thing. Willing to assume Pitbull's identity? Quite another.
posted by The World Famous at 12:59 PM on September 25, 2012 [2 favorites]


By all accounts Pitbull had a great time btw.
posted by 2bucksplus at 1:01 PM on September 25, 2012 [4 favorites]


Willing to kill is one thing. Willing to assume Pitbull's identity? Quite another.

Dude, have you seen that Bud Lite ad? Pitbull has the power to turn regular attractive bar women into different attractive bar women. He's magical.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 1:02 PM on September 25, 2012 [2 favorites]


Pitbull was almost a good sport about it but then he pretended there was anyone to actually give a shit about him in Alaska. I hope a polar bear peed on him.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 1:12 PM on September 25, 2012 [1 favorite]


With help from my friend Jon Hendren (the guy responsible for making Smash Mouth eat dozens of eggs)

Jon Hendren, I am enchanted!
posted by munchingzombie at 1:18 PM on September 25, 2012


I feel compelled to note that Smash Mouth did not actually eat the eggs; Guy Fieri (aka Kitchen Game Smash Mouth) made 24 eggs for Smash Mouth, but Mr. Mouth failed to eat all of them. The challenge just kind of petered out with everyone walking away slightly embarassed
posted by Greg Nog at 1:39 PM on September 25, 2012 [5 favorites]


So is Cam'ron really a birther?
posted by mkb at 1:41 PM on September 25, 2012


That's a great story. Thanks for pointing it out.
posted by me3dia at 1:41 PM on September 25, 2012


The challenge just kind of petered out with everyone walking away slightly embarassed

Sounds like someone got
...
egg on their face.
posted by griphus at 1:42 PM on September 25, 2012


When it comes to sunglasses memes, it looks like Griphus missed ( •_•)>⌐■-■
the Boat (⌐■_■)

**yeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH**
posted by Potomac Avenue at 1:49 PM on September 25, 2012 [11 favorites]


For those wondering who Pitbull is, he's the guy from the Dr. Pepper commercials. (That nagging question during those commercials, "Why should I care about this random guy singing flanked by Dr. Pepper trucks?" finally answered! Sorta.
posted by Atreides at 1:58 PM on September 25, 2012


it is the one thing proles like plus the other thing proles like

pitbulls of wal*mart
posted by This, of course, alludes to you at 5:14 PM on September 25, 2012


although now that this is on a site like metafilter i bet it's got a lot of buzz!
posted by This, of course, alludes to you at 5:15 PM on September 25, 2012


it is the one thing proles like plus the other thing proles like

You forgot the #ShitMittRomneyWouldSayAtAPrivateFundraiser hashtag.
posted by The World Famous at 5:28 PM on September 25, 2012 [1 favorite]


haha yeah, take the #CanYouProveMittRomneyIsNotDavidThorpe2012 challenge

i been wondering how dudes like him and teasgj would modernize their shtick now that we're all in trouble
posted by This, of course, alludes to you at 5:54 PM on September 25, 2012


the answer is apparently "plow forward"

and yeah i mean sure pitbull is cuban and stuff but i dont think a conversation about a kind of well-off white guy who writes for upper-middle-class sites and he's mocking a business that is traditionally seen as trashy and this cuban musician, i dont think its fair to bring the "r word" into that

he'd also probably say "pleb" instead of "prole"
posted by This, of course, alludes to you at 6:01 PM on September 25, 2012


What on earth are you yammering about?
posted by Greg Nog at 8:06 AM on September 26, 2012 [2 favorites]


That is indeed the mystery of the ages.
posted by elizardbits at 8:22 AM on September 26, 2012 [1 favorite]


pitbulls of wal*mart

These guys are the pitbulls of Wal-Mart.
posted by homunculus at 11:20 PM on October 2, 2012


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