Surprisingly, this was not filmed in Australia.
September 27, 2012 11:39 AM   Subscribe

Like spiders? How about giant spiders? How would you feel about having a couple move in next door? The nightmare begins at 1:24.
posted by roger ackroyd (68 comments total) 12 users marked this as a favorite

 
NO STOP IT

SPIDER WEEK WAS LAST MONTH
posted by elizardbits at 11:41 AM on September 27, 2012 [7 favorites]


These giant insects arthropods are no match for my newest invention: the Square-Cube Law.
posted by griphus at 11:41 AM on September 27, 2012 [6 favorites]


i'm not going to say i wouldn't be freaked out, cause i would, but those particular critters are moving too fast to be that size - would not be 100% convincing.
posted by facetious at 11:43 AM on September 27, 2012


Like spiders?

Yep!

How about giant spiders?

Uh...maybe?

How would you feel about having a couple move in next door?

Uh...well...uh...I have to go now.
posted by infinitywaltz at 11:45 AM on September 27, 2012 [3 favorites]


What @facetious said. The way the spiders move just reminds me it is a model.
posted by clvrmnky at 11:46 AM on September 27, 2012


Any website that has a post where this is the first comment:
Those aren't spiders. They are opiliones or "daddy-longlegs". They are more closely related to mites and are non-venomous detritivores.
is OK by me.
posted by DU at 11:46 AM on September 27, 2012 [13 favorites]


I'm not a hater though. It is pretty cool for a really quick and dirty effect. Just looks a little like, yes, horror movies from the 50s.
posted by clvrmnky at 11:47 AM on September 27, 2012


SPIDER WEEK WAS LAST MONTH

you know where its always spider week? in the dark corner of your vision where you thought you maybe saw something move
posted by The Whelk at 11:48 AM on September 27, 2012 [51 favorites]


I really wish we had this for Nuit Blanche in Toronto this weekend. Spooky scary!
posted by yellowbinder at 11:49 AM on September 27, 2012


Also, the phrasing in the FPP made me think that this was going to be some sort of Lynchian Rabbits-style short film about Mr. and Mrs. Spider moving in next door to Laura Dern.
posted by griphus at 11:50 AM on September 27, 2012 [2 favorites]


Like spiders?

No!

How about giant spiders?

Fuck no!

How would you feel about having a couple move in next door?

HOLY FUCKING CHRIST YOU ARE THE DEVIL GAAAAAAH I CAN FEEL THEM CRAWLING ALL OVER ME

*whimper*
posted by zombieflanders at 11:50 AM on September 27, 2012 [5 favorites]


you know where its always spider week? in the dark corner of your vision where you thought you maybe saw something move

I hate you.

HATE. So. Much.
posted by zombieflanders at 11:51 AM on September 27, 2012 [5 favorites]


Also, the phrasing in the FPP made me think that this was going to be some sort of Lynchian Rabbits-style short film about Mr. and Mrs. Spider moving in next door to Laura Dern.

don't.give.him.ideas.
posted by The Whelk at 11:52 AM on September 27, 2012 [2 favorites]


Like spiders?

NOPE

How about giant spiders?

NO SIR

How would you feel about having a couple move in next door?

WELL THAT WOULD BE DELIGHTFUL
posted by naju at 11:55 AM on September 27, 2012 [11 favorites]


WE COULD HAVE TEA AND CRUMPETS IT WOULD BE QUITE NICE
posted by naju at 11:57 AM on September 27, 2012 [21 favorites]


So they're projecting on to the interior walls and ceiling, and not the glass, right? So if I'm wrapping my mind around that correctly, it would only work from that vantage point?
posted by cmoj at 11:57 AM on September 27, 2012


I too came in to say that those look like daddies long-legge.
posted by Mister_A at 11:58 AM on September 27, 2012 [1 favorite]


don't.give.him.ideas.

THUD

THUD

THUD

MISS DERN

THUD

THUD

MISS DERN I CANNOT GIVE BIRTH TO A THOUSAND YOUNG OVER THIS INCESSANT WEEPING

THUD

THUD
posted by griphus at 11:59 AM on September 27, 2012 [25 favorites]


Bugs just wouldn't be that scary to me if they were that big. Then they could be aimed at or have molotov cocktails heaved at them. One could keep an eye on them as they approach over a distant hill.

That's what makes most creepy crawlies so...well, creepy. Binoculars are useless against them!
posted by sendai sleep master at 12:01 PM on September 27, 2012 [2 favorites]


Any website that has a post where this is the first comment:

Those aren't spiders. They are opiliones or "daddy-longlegs". They are more closely related to mites and are non-venomous detritivores.


I'm pretty exhausted right now, but when I misread that as "Any petshop that has a post..." I thought it was a particularly awesome petshop.

The effect is cool, but the spiders are moving too slowly, or whatever.
posted by Elmore at 12:01 PM on September 27, 2012


Keeping up with the arachnids.
posted by shakespeherian at 12:03 PM on September 27, 2012 [1 favorite]


So they're projecting on to the interior walls and ceiling, and not the glass, right?

No, I think they are projecting them onto the exterior, which is not glass.
posted by DU at 12:04 PM on September 27, 2012


in the dark corner of your vision where you thought you maybe saw something move

yes that is where my small unthreatening spider friend lives, he eats the mosquitoes and i leave him be. BEST FRANDS.
posted by elizardbits at 12:05 PM on September 27, 2012 [4 favorites]


But it still only works from that vantage point, because there's no mathematical way it could work anywhere else. The are capturing a projection (in the dimensional sense) so they have no way to recreate the third dimension and make it visible from another vantage point.
posted by DU at 12:05 PM on September 27, 2012


What? You say there are GIANT SPIDERS living next door?

*Sigh* Okay, I'll get the long-handled cobweb Swiffer ready.
posted by kinnakeet at 12:06 PM on September 27, 2012


This is speculation, but at 1:21, when the credit appears on the building, it looks like there are real windows there, they're just covered so they can act as a screen.
posted by roger ackroyd at 12:07 PM on September 27, 2012


You know where its always spider week?

Uh, my front porch for the month of October? After this happened next door there are certain themes that we kinda tend to avoid come Halloween. It was either Kingdom of the Spiders or Alien Invasion and my wife has a certain affinity for spiders.
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 12:08 PM on September 27, 2012


Did you know that sometimes the really small spiders like to sit at the outside corner of the human eye and drink the little bits of tear that collect there
posted by shakespeherian at 12:08 PM on September 27, 2012 [6 favorites]


You been hittin' the BOOOZE again!
posted by dirigibleman at 12:10 PM on September 27, 2012 [1 favorite]


you are literally the worst thing in my life right now jsyk
posted by elizardbits at 12:10 PM on September 27, 2012 [1 favorite]


OK, not "not glass" but "not transparent".
posted by DU at 12:14 PM on September 27, 2012


At least this post warned me there was spiders. Unlike U-Haul trucks all over America that will have me cursing the cold, black hearts of U-Haul executives until the day I die of a heart attack caused by a passing MASSIVE GREEN SPIDER THAT WILL DEVOUR YOUR SOUL.
posted by mediocre at 12:14 PM on September 27, 2012 [1 favorite]


you are literally the worst thing in my life right now jsyk

really i would have thought it would be that faint itch on your scalp from all the eggs
posted by shakespeherian at 12:15 PM on September 27, 2012 [7 favorites]


no jury in the world will convict me
posted by elizardbits at 12:17 PM on September 27, 2012 [7 favorites]


MASSIVE GREEN SPIDER THAT WILL DEVOUR YOUR SOUL.

I see a big happy face on the body with 8 arms for hugging!
posted by The Whelk at 12:17 PM on September 27, 2012 [3 favorites]


Neat trick to play on the arachnophobe in your family: stand behind them and lightly but quickly move your fingers over their shoulder. If you do it right they jump at least three metres in the air.

Warning: not responsible for the beatings you'll get and/or the resulting divorce procedures.
posted by MartinWisse at 12:18 PM on September 27, 2012


Calm down and have a bagel.
posted by shakespeherian at 12:19 PM on September 27, 2012


THE BAGEL IS ALSO A SPIDER
posted by The Whelk at 12:19 PM on September 27, 2012 [6 favorites]


ARE SPIDERS CARBS OR NOT THOUGH
posted by elizardbits at 12:20 PM on September 27, 2012 [2 favorites]


is spider a carb? /meangirls
posted by The Whelk at 12:20 PM on September 27, 2012


I'm housesitting for (among several other critters) a cat named Spider. He seems to have taken a real shine to me, as we just met a couple days ago and right now he's asleep with his head resting on my thigh.

I also like the creepy-crawly types, but everybody loves a cat story.
posted by item at 12:23 PM on September 27, 2012 [3 favorites]


Omigod Whelk you can't just ask someone if they're a carb.
posted by shakespeherian at 12:27 PM on September 27, 2012 [4 favorites]


I don't get people's extreme dislike of creepy crawlies. I find that if you leave them alone, the worst that happens is that they get bored and fly/crawl/walk away. And spiders particularly are excellent for catching and eating all the damn mosquitoes, which I find far more annoying than any other creature in existence.

It's not all that uncommon that I'll be standing around waiting for something and suddenly oh look, there's a spider on my arm. Or a locust. Or a bee. Or even a wasp (I admit wasps give me the creeps). Thankfully that doesn't happen with snakes very often. It feels very wrong to have them slithering across your arm.
posted by wierdo at 12:28 PM on September 27, 2012


Maybe they just have the wrong address.
posted by poe at 12:48 PM on September 27, 2012


Stop trying to make spiders happen, The Whelk.
posted by Rangeboy at 12:51 PM on September 27, 2012 [2 favorites]


That's why her hair's so big - it's full of spiders.
posted by yellowbinder at 12:53 PM on September 27, 2012


I always cite my sources when I use witty aphorisms. So:

NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE 1


1. Every person with a fuckin' brain, that's who.

posted by lalochezia at 12:54 PM on September 27, 2012 [1 favorite]


I thought this was just going to be a home-movie special-effect clip, so I was pleasantly surprised by the linked video. If I saw that scene my neighborhood, it would trigger the atavistic monster-fear part of my brain a good deal faster than the rational how-did-they-do-that part. And I'm not even scared by spiders, just roaches and house centipedes, which came here straight from hell to torment me.

Scene: chez Elsa in the wee hours of this morning

Elsa [lounging in bed with book]: EEK!
The Fella [from the other room]: Y'okay, sweetie?
Elsa: [giggles] Yeah, fine. Just a spider. He came crawling over the top of my book to say "HI THERE!" He took off pretty fast.
The Fella: Awwww. Scare ya?
Elsa: Phffffft! It was just a spider. He's my buddy! For a second, I thought it was a centipede. In the bed.
The Fella: OOOOOOH.

... because he knows that a centipede in the bed would mean "Elsa vacates the bed for the night. At least." (I don't understand it and I'm a little ashamed of it, but there it is: I am TERRIFIED of centipedes.)

Bugs just wouldn't be that scary to me if they were that big. Then they could be aimed at or have molotov cocktails heaved at them. One could keep an eye on them as they approach over a distant hill.

Y'know, I can rationally understand every part of that argument, and I'm not even afraid of spiders in general, but if I saw a spider larger than, say, a kitten, I would flip the hell out because OH NO, APOCALYPSE. Maybe it's training from all those 1950s nuclear-horror-sublimation B-pictures I saw on TV in my childhood.
posted by Elsa at 12:56 PM on September 27, 2012 [1 favorite]


Neat trick to play on the arachnophobe in your family: stand behind them and lightly but quickly move your fingers over their shoulder. If you do it right they jump at least three metres in the air.

A decade ago, a newly met employee became a a fast and devoted friend of mine when I removed a spider from her back like so:

Me: Hold still for a second.
Her: Why?
Me: Nothing. [scoops a great big spider off her back, cups it so she doesn't see it, takes it to the door, releases it.]
Her: OH MY GOD WHAT WAS IT? WAS THERE A SPIDER ON ME?
Me: Nothing.
Her: Oh, thank you!

We had known each other just a few days, but somehow I knew that A) she would start flailing and squealing if I told her a great big spider was crawling on her and B) she didn't want confirmation that it was a spider, much less a great big one.

In a similar arrangement (and, again, I'm a little ashamed of this phobia, but there it is), if I can't manage to kill a centipede, The Fella will send me out of the room, make some smashing noises, and then tell me he got it. I will never, ever ask if he's lying.
posted by Elsa at 1:07 PM on September 27, 2012 [4 favorites]


MartinWisse - I had a friend who did that to me once. Once.
posted by mediocre at 1:22 PM on September 27, 2012 [1 favorite]


ugs just wouldn't be that scary to me if they were that big. Then they could be aimed at or have molotov cocktails heaved at them. One could keep an eye on them as they approach over a distant hill.

Well yeah, but only after you poop your pants in terror.
posted by emjaybee at 1:48 PM on September 27, 2012


Once when I was working at the Michigan Womyn's Music Festival I got back to my tent very late after a long long day. I flipped on my flashlight to find clean socks, and in the light could see that there was an ENORMOUS terrifying bug of some kind in my tent. I couldn't see the bug, just its enormous shadow. I started waving the flashlight around, trying to find the bug but I couldn't see it anywhere, just its shadow everywhere...my god it must have been HUGE the biggest bug ever I didn't even know we had bugs that big in Michigan...

It was, of course, a tiny friendly little green bug. Sitting on my flashlight lens.
posted by not that girl at 1:54 PM on September 27, 2012 [5 favorites]


NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE

Black Flag it and move on...
posted by Greg_Ace at 2:08 PM on September 27, 2012 [1 favorite]


Reminds me of exploring the caves of Skyrim only these animated spiders move about 7000 times faster.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 2:51 PM on September 27, 2012


Wait, wait - the painting on the roof, those are daddy longlegs, the article even says it. But the illusion thing - those are NOT daddy long legs. No way. They are the fat devil spiders that live behind my fucking pantry. BRB taking a silkwood shower.
posted by peep at 3:00 PM on September 27, 2012 [1 favorite]


Yay! I ♥ spiders!

(Although they're total dicks in Skyrim.)
posted by brundlefly at 4:03 PM on September 27, 2012 [1 favorite]


...the phrasing in the FPP made me think that this was going to be some sort of Lynchian Rabbits-style short film about Mr. and Mrs. Spider moving in next door to Laura Dern.

Spiders do sort of figure in 'Inland Empire': "We are like the spider...."
posted by Kronos_to_Earth at 5:53 PM on September 27, 2012


My husband has always assured me that physics provides quite a low upper-limit to the size a spider can be. Something about collapsing under its own weight and the insides turning to custard blah blah blah physics. And apparently the closer to that upper limit they are, the less likely they are to jump onto your face or fall off the ceiling at you, because again, custard, collapse, something something.

I've always been too scared to google for the exact details in case the upper limit is larger than I imagine. Or in case I discover it is not actually true.

PLEASE BE ACTUALLY TRUE THX
posted by lollusc at 9:48 PM on September 27, 2012


Actually it's that spiders that large have a specific kind of venom that they inject into you, turning your insides into custard that they then slurp from your paralyzed yet still-conscious flesh.

TRUE? NOT TRUE? oh well i guess you will have to google.
posted by elizardbits at 8:42 AM on September 28, 2012 [2 favorites]


Imagine the consistency of like warm peanut butter for what your innards become like before they are slurped from your eyeballs
posted by shakespeherian at 8:52 AM on September 28, 2012


My husband has always assured me that physics provides quite a low upper-limit to the size a spider can be.

Has not seen Wild Wild West.
posted by halfbuckaroo at 10:00 AM on September 28, 2012


HAHA I just threw a tomato top onto someone's desk and screamed SPIDER and I am now the Worst Person in the Office basically forever. THANKS FOR THE INSPIRATION METAFILTER.
posted by elizardbits at 11:53 AM on September 28, 2012


I'm increasingly concerned about your workplace based on the little vignettes we get here.
posted by The Whelk at 11:54 AM on September 28, 2012


As well you should be; she works for Veridian Dynamics.
posted by griphus at 12:05 PM on September 28, 2012 [1 favorite]


elizardbits = Portia de Rossi?

the more you know
✰============
posted by shakespeherian at 12:06 PM on September 28, 2012


Headcanon ESTABLISHED
posted by The Whelk at 12:08 PM on September 28, 2012


Now I'm assuming that whenever she talks about 'tacos' she means 'my husband Tobias.'
posted by shakespeherian at 12:10 PM on September 28, 2012


in related news my boss just caught me in the kitchen waving a knife and singing girl you know it's true.
posted by elizardbits at 1:50 PM on September 28, 2012 [1 favorite]


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