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October 2, 2012 11:21 AM   Subscribe

The Smiths are never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever going to reunite - ever.

See also:

... never, ever, ever, ever ... even if a vegetarian Coachella happens.

... ever, ever, ever ...
posted by mysticreferee (72 comments total) 8 users marked this as a favorite

 
In other music news: Kurt Cobain is still dead.
posted by Egg Shen at 11:23 AM on October 2, 2012 [6 favorites]


Morrissey's last album is named "Years of Refusal" for a reason.
posted by msalt at 11:25 AM on October 2, 2012 [5 favorites]


even if a vegetarian Coachella happens.

Reunions are murder?
posted by msalt at 11:26 AM on October 2, 2012 [2 favorites]


Who else read this like a Smiths song?
posted by boo_radley at 11:26 AM on October 2, 2012 [20 favorites]


First Jim Morrison, now Stephen Morrissey. What is this, alphabetical list of "Pricks of Rock Music" week?
posted by howfar at 11:26 AM on October 2, 2012 [2 favorites]


Never had no reunion ever?
posted by eyeballkid at 11:29 AM on October 2, 2012 [1 favorite]


Who else read this like a Smiths song?

I did. But I read everything like a Smiths song, so maybe I don't count.
posted by The World Famous at 11:29 AM on October 2, 2012 [7 favorites]


Stop me if you think that you've heard this one before. . .
posted by Curious Artificer at 11:31 AM on October 2, 2012 [3 favorites]


Please, please, please let me get what I want...
posted by blaneyphoto at 11:33 AM on October 2, 2012 [1 favorite]


Reunite?
Hell, we can't even get Morrissey to show up to a show ALONE in Florida, much less bring Johnny Marr with him.

He can sell tickets, but he can't show up to honor those tickets.
It's like Seinfeld, trying to rent a car.
posted by THAT William Mize at 11:33 AM on October 2, 2012 [5 favorites]


Am I the only Smiths fan that is 100% okay with this? They have a great legacy, the recent re-issues sound terrific and Morrissey's solo career has been interesting. A reunion for the sake of money would make me like everyone involved just a bit less.
posted by beaucoupkevin at 11:33 AM on October 2, 2012 [26 favorites]


Bigmouth Strikes Again.
posted by gwint at 11:33 AM on October 2, 2012 [1 favorite]


How Soon is Never?
posted by gwint at 11:35 AM on October 2, 2012 [6 favorites]


Money Changes Everything (from, ironically enough, The World Won't Listen)
posted by gallus at 11:43 AM on October 2, 2012


As a Smiths fan this makes me happy. Honestly, I wish Morrissey would stop recording and touring and become the iconoclast hermit we all thought he'd be by now. I don't know why but the older he gets the more embarrassed I become for him for continuing to try and be relevant.
posted by photoslob at 11:44 AM on October 2, 2012 [6 favorites]


Promises, promises.
posted by koeselitz at 11:44 AM on October 2, 2012


The music that they constantly play, it says nothing to me about my life.
posted by blucevalo at 11:44 AM on October 2, 2012 [4 favorites]


boo_radley: Who else read this like a Smiths song?

Because I have an 11-year-old daughter, I'm afraid I read it like a Taylor Swift song.
posted by Rock Steady at 11:45 AM on October 2, 2012 [6 favorites]


There's a bit of chatter in the UK today that they will reform to headline Glastonbury. I am very sceptical. But then again, I never thought the Stone Roses would reform, and they had totally denied it would happen, and then a few months later it did. So who knows?
posted by Infinite Jest at 11:46 AM on October 2, 2012


I thought Years of Refusal was pretty good.

I do wish he'd stop making that eeuurrgh noise he makes for emphasis when singing live.
posted by Admiral Haddock at 11:46 AM on October 2, 2012 [2 favorites]


I am in firm support of Morrissey. The Smiths were a great band. Awesome, I loved them when I was in my teens and still do listen to them occasionally.

Its impressive to see that Morrissey is one of the few artists to have enough conviction to just say NO to the lure of money over self respect and refuse to do a "re-union tour".

I wish more artists would do the same.
posted by mary8nne at 11:46 AM on October 2, 2012 [1 favorite]


New album coming out without a manager? That explains his latest PR stunt!
posted by armacy at 11:46 AM on October 2, 2012


beaucoupkevin: I'm with you. My heart sank when I heard this recent reunion rumor and soared when Johnny Marr's people denied it.
posted by soundofsuburbia at 11:46 AM on October 2, 2012 [1 favorite]


I support this no reunion. And advocate for a nice quiet retirement for Morrissey.

Quiet being the key word.
posted by Max Power at 11:49 AM on October 2, 2012 [1 favorite]


Please please please let me get what I want.. Lord knows it would be the first time.

If I can't have The Smiths, at least I'll get to see Morrissey when he comes to Portland in November. *sigh*
posted by loquat at 11:51 AM on October 2, 2012


If they were truly a great band then one of them would be dead by now.
posted by rocket88 at 11:54 AM on October 2, 2012


This is better news than the obit thread I thought it was for a second.

(The part of me who loves Metafilter would be against that reality, but a large other part of me would have loved that sort of really shit-stirring way to make such an announcement.)
posted by MCMikeNamara at 11:59 AM on October 2, 2012 [3 favorites]


This is better news than the obit thread I thought it was for a second.

How would it be an obit thread? Death didn't stop The Beatles from releasing Free as a Bird. If anything it would make a reunion a lot more possible assuming Hologram Morrissey will go along with it.
posted by Gary at 12:14 PM on October 2, 2012


This is better news than the obit thread I thought it was for a second.

Seconded.
posted by Navelgazer at 12:19 PM on October 2, 2012


The Smiths are never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever going to reunite

Oh, of course they won't-not until the next time.
posted by MoonOrb at 12:20 PM on October 2, 2012 [7 favorites]


Morrissey is enigmatic?
posted by zzazazz at 12:22 PM on October 2, 2012


Its impressive to see that Morrissey is one of the few artists to have enough conviction to just say NO to the lure of money over self respect and refuse to do a "re-union tour".

When you say "self respect" I presume you mean spite, bitterness and self-serving rage?
posted by howfar at 12:31 PM on October 2, 2012 [1 favorite]


New album coming out without a manager? That explains his latest PR stunt!

But she was old and she would've died anyway.

Even though I think Marr and Morrissey made some kind of special super-mopey-yet-wrapped-in-pop alchemy together, I don't want the Smiths to reunite either. I like that Moz hangs on to his bitterness.
posted by Kitty Stardust at 12:34 PM on October 2, 2012 [1 favorite]


The Smiths are never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever going to reunite - ever.

That joke isn't funny anymore.
posted by googly at 12:40 PM on October 2, 2012 [2 favorites]


So you're saying there's a chance?
posted by schoolgirl report at 12:41 PM on October 2, 2012 [1 favorite]


Hologram Morrissey. I am definitely stealing that for something.
posted by jetsetsc at 12:42 PM on October 2, 2012


A Rush and a Push and . . . we're near the front of the crowd at a Rush concert, I suppose.
posted by yerfatma at 12:44 PM on October 2, 2012 [1 favorite]


This charming man! Why count the bonuses and the financing when there isn't any room on the passengers seat! OH AH!
posted by a shrill fucking shitstripe at 12:46 PM on October 2, 2012


Goddammit, googly.
posted by mrgrimm at 12:53 PM on October 2, 2012


This is tangential, but I love the way the Guardian football live blog worked a Smiths reference in during a Euro match last summer: Glenn Whelan sparks an Italy break with a pass on halfway so miserable it spends all its time in its room listening to the Smiths.
posted by A dead Quaker at 12:55 PM on October 2, 2012 [2 favorites]


John Cho meets Morrissey at a an-ages pool hall.
posted by grippycat at 12:57 PM on October 2, 2012


morrissey is about to start a tour? that totally explains the snippets of grump i've seen flittering across the web the last couple days. he hates contemporary music! he doesn't like the music big fans of his have made! he thinks prince harry is a dolt! he is unloved by record companies! he hates facebook! he thinks russell brand should do shakespeare!
posted by nadawi at 1:48 PM on October 2, 2012


I'm okay with this.
posted by SansPoint at 1:51 PM on October 2, 2012 [1 favorite]


Hologram Morrissey. I am definitely stealing that for something.

I would advise against plagiarizing or taking on loan, because someone somewhere could be a mefite who might trip you up and laugh when you fall.
posted by burnmp3s at 1:57 PM on October 2, 2012 [2 favorites]


even if a vegetarian Coachella happens.

Makes sense this was offered. Don't know if anyone else here saw Morrissey at Coachella in 2009, but he was pretty upset at the vast amount of BBQ smoke that drifted across the main stage area.

Frankly, it was pretty obnoxious even just from a smoke perspective, it wasn't just some subtle aroma. Combine that with the meat smell that you couldn't get away from and Morrissey's penchant for having outbursts on stage, and it nearly had him walk off early (thankfully he did stay after complaining about it for a while).

[I was a vegetarian at the time, and while it didn't bother me as much as him, I did think it wasn't an unreasonable complaint. Especially since it was him followed by Paul McCartney, so it was kind of Vegetarian/Animal Activist night on the main stage]
posted by wildcrdj at 2:03 PM on October 2, 2012


Morrissey likes Russell Brand? I feel a slash coming on!
posted by Kitty Stardust at 2:07 PM on October 2, 2012 [1 favorite]


Morrissey likes most cute guys, no? (Not that that explains his penchant for Brand ... bad-dum-pum.)
posted by mrgrimm at 2:46 PM on October 2, 2012


Morrissey likes Russell Brand? I feel a slash coming on!

I never would have guessed in a million years that a thread about Morrissey and Johnny Marr would be the place where I'd post this. But you said you feel a slash coming on, so I have no choice. My apologies to Messrs. Morrissey and Marr.
posted by The World Famous at 2:48 PM on October 2, 2012


I'm okay with this.

Me too.

I had a chance, at 14, to go see the Smiths in Cleveland. My mom wouldn't let us go. (Still makes me go ARGH.)

The Smiths played their last show ever four months later, then M. Marr up and ruined everything another few months later.

"In a wide-ranging interview with RollingStone.com, the guitarist said, 'I was the lookout saying, "Rocks ahead! Rocks ahead!" I had the foresight to see disaster looming – both for the individuals, personally, and the band, professionally. I had a lot of insight and wisdom for a 23-year-old."

Oh yes, John. Cuz everyone in the band's done so much better since.

Anyway, no one else should ever get to see them again either. >:p
posted by mrgrimm at 2:56 PM on October 2, 2012 [1 favorite]


The More You Ignore Me The Closer I Get!
posted by borges at 2:56 PM on October 2, 2012


"In a wide-ranging interview with RollingStone.com, the guitarist said, 'I was the lookout saying, "Rocks ahead! Rocks ahead!" I had the foresight to see disaster looming – both for the individuals, personally, and the band, professionally. I had a lot of insight and wisdom for a 23-year-old."

Oh yes, John. Cuz everyone in the band's done so much better since.


I used to look at Mick Taylor's decision to leave the Rolling Stones and think he was either fired for something kept totally quiet or he was a bloody fool (please read that last bit as Michael Caine). But my outlook on that has changed over the years, particularly after reading Keith Richards' Life. Taylor's career didn't go where he seemed to have planned, and he's nowhere near as rich and famous as the rest of the band or as Ron Wood. But he had the foresight to see disaster looming and he got off the ship just in the nick of time, it would seem. Not wanting to be a member of the Rolling Stones in the 1970s and 80s is an extraordinarily reasonable position. Talk about leaving on a high note - play the guitar solos on Honky Tonk Woman and Gimme Shelter, play lead guitar on Sticky Fingers and Exile on Main Street, go on tour, then quit the band? That's a hell of high note right there.

So, back to Johnny Marr breaking up The Smiths: The Queen Is Dead was his Sticky Fingers, Strangeways Here We Come was his Exile, and then he's out of there before things could go well and truly sideways. That's a hell of a high note. And then he goes on to work with The The, Billy Bragg, Talking Heads, Neil Finn, Robyn Hitchcock, Modest Mouse, etc.?

I'll agree that he hasn't done better than The Smiths. But neither he nor Morrissey has ended up face down in a ditch or choking to death on their own vomit. And Morrissey's solo work has had high points that, though not as lofty as the best moments of The Smiths, are better than most successful singer/songwriters will ever have. Not many people have a back catalog as rich as Morrissey's, followed by a solo career with as many good moments as his.
posted by The World Famous at 3:09 PM on October 2, 2012 [2 favorites]


Remember the era Crag Kilborn hosted the Daily Show and Janeane Garofalo came on and Craig decided he wanted to woo her so he put an old cassette from The Smiths to give her entrance music. Really in the only one? Do you at least remember Craig Kilborn?
posted by humanfont at 3:56 PM on October 2, 2012 [2 favorites]


I just love The Smiths.
posted by 4ster at 4:03 PM on October 2, 2012 [1 favorite]


Going to see Morrissey this december, and he will play a lot of Smiths songs. I'd prefer a gig with some Morrissey songs as well, his best is better than the Smiths average.

While it'd be very nice to have the guitar played by Johnny Marr, Boz Boorer actually does know how to play, and given the limitations of live performances there will be absolutely no difference to anyone's ear.
posted by wilful at 5:02 PM on October 2, 2012


Well, thank Christ for that.
posted by Decani at 5:19 PM on October 2, 2012


Guess I can put the Manic Panic away now.
posted by space_cookie at 5:28 PM on October 2, 2012


The Smiths are never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever going to reunite - ever.

Maybe in the next world.
posted by wherever, whatever at 5:33 PM on October 2, 2012 [2 favorites]


Its impressive to see that Morrissey is one of the few artists to have enough conviction to just say NO to the lure of money over self respect and refuse to do a "re-union tour".

Has he had the conviction to pay Mike Joyce yet?
posted by juiceCake at 5:40 PM on October 2, 2012 [3 favorites]


I got dragged to a Morrissey concert at Jones Beach in the early 90's. Didn't want to go, but my best friend offered me a free ticket. Figured it would be worth it if I could hear November Spawned a Monster.

He got through three or four songs before a female fan leaped up on stage and groped his crotch so hard he fell to the ground writhing and clutching himself.

The backup singers finished the verse. The song ended abruptly. He got to his feet, staggered off stage and that was that. The concert had lasted less than half an hour. And the Monster never spawned.

People were *furious.* They booed and shouted. Can't blame 'em, really.
posted by zarq at 5:49 PM on October 2, 2012 [1 favorite]


surely they were booing and shouting at the assaulting fan or the security? because, man, i don't even have family jewels, but i'd be unlikely to reemerge. it's not like he puts on a punk show.
posted by nadawi at 6:03 PM on October 2, 2012


surely they were booing and shouting at the assaulting fan or the security?

You'd think, but it only began in earnest when they announced the show was cancelled.
posted by zarq at 6:06 PM on October 2, 2012


I've seen this before in other people's lives, and now it's happening in mine.

(I actually say this to myself almost every day).
posted by ovvl at 8:23 PM on October 2, 2012


I'm glad to see I'm not the only person Moz has promised a tour and not delivered on.
I do enjoy his never stuff (the mid-90s was iffy), but I woyuld happily not see a Smiths reunion.

That would just be sad.Smiths sad.
posted by Mezentian at 3:07 AM on October 3, 2012


Good. I don't need to see the bands of my youth strut and grunt and wheeze trying to make me feel 21 again. The Smiths were a great band, and they have a great catalog of music that is available on demand. Do we really need them to grind out "Ask" one more time or squat out an album of half-baked new songs under duress? It's okay for things to end.
posted by Legomancer at 5:32 AM on October 3, 2012 [2 favorites]


I thought by now Morrissey would have retired from music and would be writing bloody awful poetry.
posted by msalt at 6:45 AM on October 3, 2012


Why why why can't you let me get what I want?
posted by jonp72 at 1:08 PM on October 3, 2012


I thought by now Morrissey would have retired from music and would be writing bloody awful poetry.

But...the Smiths already split up.

(I keeed!Kinda)
posted by howfar at 1:24 PM on October 3, 2012


Thanks for telling us he'd be on Fallon's show. It was good to see him, it's been a long time.
posted by dragonplayer at 10:55 PM on October 3, 2012


Wow. Just saw him on Colbert. Hadn't seen him in years. Marr has aged much better and I can see him doing justice to playing Smith's songs but Morrisey can barely sing anymore. The footage of Marr playing and singing Smiths songs isn't painfully horrible as it is with Morrisey.
posted by juiceCake at 9:06 PM on October 9, 2012


MOZ? ON COLBERT?
I WOULD WATCH THAT!
posted by Mezentian at 5:32 AM on October 10, 2012 [1 favorite]


Morrissey reaction gifs to Colbert's questions.
posted by Gary at 10:01 AM on October 10, 2012 [2 favorites]


FOUL! The lamb in question was not "a total asshole" but "a total fucking asshole".

Buzzfeed lets down the fourth estate!
posted by Mezentian at 4:33 AM on October 11, 2012


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