November 3, 2001

8:03 AM

Are you looking for a new religion? Why not try Church of Reality? The Church of Reality is an alternative religion that is based on the dedication to seeing reality the way it really is. Our motto is, "If it's real, we believe in it."
posted by Rastafari (33 comments total)

this flat-earther for Descartes is interested.
posted by clavdivs at 8:39 AM on November 3, 2001

Those of you who've read or seen the film of Flannery O'Connor's Wise Blood have already experienced this: "The Church of Truth Without Christ Crucified! Where the blind don't see, the lame don't walk, and what's dead stays that way!"
posted by gimonca at 9:01 AM on November 3, 2001

I'll admit I didn't read everything, but what exactly does the CoR have to do with Tux the penguin?
posted by Su at 9:17 AM on November 3, 2001

From the CoR website regarding the penguin: The Linux Penguin symbolizes the Giving of Knowledge.
posted by Rastafari at 9:23 AM on November 3, 2001

We are committed to trying to see reality the way it really is. We reject dogma and mythology and beliefs that have no basis in the real world. If something is true, we believe in it. Although we'll probably never accomplish it, we aspire to understand everything the way it really is.

Aristotelian true/false type thinking seems a bit antiquated if you're going to be dealing with model-based scientific cosmology. I hate to break this to them but every religion claims to know the truth. Welcome to the club!

Looks like a great place for newly minted angst ridden atheists to sit around and discuss texts like, "Christianity Sucks."
posted by skallas at 9:31 AM on November 3, 2001

"..if you believe there is life on Mars and it is proven that there isn't, then you have to believe there isn't unless you have a basis in reality for continuing to believe there is..."

Sounds like just more hokey religious doubletalk to me.

"..Trademark - I need a name I can trademark. If Church of Reality is taken I need another name quick. I can't use names that someone else owns, and I need control of the name I use..."

How about Church of Capitalism?
Church of Copyrighted Names That Look Good On T-shirts?
Church For Stupid F***s Who Think Creating Yet Another Religion Will Solve All Of The Problems Caused By All The Other Religions?

This has already been done, but in a way that most people didn't get. This CoR idea might fly, but only because there's absolutely no humor to it, and therefore is marketable enough for Big Business to step in and control it. If this kid can find a way of adding violent behavior and several naked people to the mix, it might become as commercially acceptable as most Hollywood films, and last as long in the "Box Office" of religious doctrine, but I'd rather worship mold.
posted by ZachsMind at 9:32 AM on November 3, 2001

I'll admit, it was rather intriguing at first...essentially turning atheism into a "religion." But then I saw the CoR's stance on mind-altering substances -- and it immediately lost all credibility. What a freakin' idiot.
posted by davidmsc at 9:36 AM on November 3, 2001

I'll admit, it was rather intriguing at first...essentially turning atheism into a "religion." But then I saw the CoR's stance on mind-altering substances -- and it immediately lost all credibility. What a freakin' idiot.
posted by davidmsc at 9:36 AM on November 3, 2001

Not to be a smug bastard, but if they are so interested in the harsh realities of life, one of their ten commandments should be that those rainbow divider bars on their web page have got to go.
posted by Hildago at 9:53 AM on November 3, 2001

The fact that it's called Church is enough for me ; it looks like yet another attempt to create a religion with a lot of followers, smells like a revamped Scientology (if not already a spin-off).

There is no thing like "100% pure certain truth" because truth as we conceptualize it is based on our perception of world, and given we think our perception is probably limited by our senses we probably can't say that something is 100% true , we can't even given reality an approximation value because we don't have an unit of measurement of reality, unless we accept that the unit of measurement is approximated too (and we're doing it already when we say that if an experiment done in more or less the same conditions by x persons gives the same results then we have a close approximation to reality)

What we can do is trying to solve our problems with the help of our brain and hard work ; in my not so humble opionion a new religion isn't exactly the kind of tool we need.
posted by elpapacito at 10:04 AM on November 3, 2001

Did davidmsc just double post or am I seeing tracers?

I wanna start a religion called Believe Whatever You Want But Stop Killing People Over It. Unfortunately I have a feeling it just wouldn't fly.
posted by ZachsMind at 10:08 AM on November 3, 2001

There is no thing like "100% pure certain truth"

Are you 100% certain of that?
posted by mw at 10:21 AM on November 3, 2001

ZachsMind: No tracers here -- my fault. Forgive, please.
posted by davidmsc at 10:26 AM on November 3, 2001

The better joke (though that's not saying much (which I guess is my point)) would be to found a so-called "Church of Grand Delusion" and base it strictly upon the Bible/Quran/your favorite religous text here. Clearly every religion thinks it is the one true religion -- duh.
posted by mattpfeff at 10:50 AM on November 3, 2001

I wanna start a religion called Believe Whatever You Want But Stop Killing People Over It

That's blasphemous! Those who do not follow the one true way must DIE! En guarde!
posted by rushmc at 10:54 AM on November 3, 2001

I think I'd have to say that this church is obviously 100% fake...

"The Church of Reality is a Marijuana Inspired Vision"

pretty much settles it. It's quite ironic that the REALITY of this church is a drug induced hallucination. Don't ya think.

Quote like this don't add to the legitimacy...
"Judiasm is a Stupid Religion too. "

I'd say the best venue for people that have interests in a 'religion' that isn't faith-based should check into ethical culture, or some similar secular humaist association. If it comes down to it and you feel you really need at least some spirtitual element you can venture into the realm of Unitarian Univeralists which is pretty close to the "believe whatever you want but stop killing people over it".

I'll point out that I don't attend services at any of these places. If I did it'd probably be at the Ethical Culture 'church' - I was married in a UU church because of my crazy semi-spiritual wife.
posted by QrysDonnell at 11:12 AM on November 3, 2001

"If it's real, we believe in it."

They have fish with feet and a penguin, some how I think their reality is different from mine.
posted by bjgeiger at 11:16 AM on November 3, 2001

QrysDonnell: Your wife is saner than all of us put together! :-)
In Judaism, casual would-be converts are discouraged and sometimes pointed in the direction of the Unitarians. As a Jew - or as anything, come to think of it - I have nothing but admiration for them. Blessed are the peacemakers, indeed.
As for the "Church of Reality", it seems to be possessed by the worst sort of religious fervour and self-promotion I've encountered this side of Bin Laden and Jerry Falwell.
posted by MiguelCardoso at 12:56 PM on November 3, 2001

I wonder if they believe in breast implants......
posted by beto2g at 1:09 PM on November 3, 2001

I wasn't dissin' ya David. Just went for a laugh. Please forgive. Sorry. Somehow I believe something like The Church of Flag Football would have more success in saving the world than this CoR guy's drug-induced fantasy. I give this guy a C+ for effort, but an F in "creative use of penguins."
posted by ZachsMind at 1:43 PM on November 3, 2001

mw: Whoa u got the point ! Congratulations :) I'm not even 100% I didn't write myself your answer after smoking all of that Church pot. Ciao !
posted by elpapacito at 2:35 PM on November 3, 2001

The i'ev seen things, the word 'Church' started from religion- with a God. isn't it contradictory to create a 'CHurch' where no God exist (since u can't see him) if Church originally comes from poly/momotheism. I could be way off base, just a thought. Either way, the CoR is crap....I liked that aforementioned reference to the Church of Scientology (dont' even get me started on them)
posted by jmd82 at 3:11 PM on November 3, 2001

How come every dingus who wants to create a new religion comes up with "Church"? Why not Synagogue or Mosque or Tabernacle? Even the Mormons, my favoritest of recent religious movements, had to call themselves a "Church of" blah blah blah.

No more "Church of"s, no more "Isms," no more whatever. As I recall from my scant readings of the New Testament, Jesus didn't make the church - that was Paul's doing. All Jesus did was say, "Stop being dicks, love your neighbor, and act in a godly manner." It was Paul that made the rules. Paul didn't create a church and then wait for J.C. to show up.

Either way, it sounds like angsty American teenager atheism clouded in a pot haze. "My parents were so square for being Episcopalean!"
posted by solistrato at 4:26 PM on November 3, 2001

As I recall from my scant readings of the New Testament, Jesus didn't make the church

Matt 16:18
posted by gd779 at 4:36 PM on November 3, 2001

what the fuck is everyone going on about? It seems that the word "church" has so much power as a word that this site is taken seriously- did anyone actually READ and COMPREHEND this site?

This guy is challenging the fixed and cynical thinking of not only those involved in religion, but society in general. His only shortcoming; trying to cash on a belief system that he believes he has discovered or at least put into writing. Sure, he's a little nuts. but the core values are humanistic and common-sensible [sic].

You got to admire the guy, challenging the assumption that a "Church [of something]" invloves god and ritual and formality and dogma and brainwashing. And you guys got sucked in.

*sheesh* I bet you guys think that the Church Of Virus[look it up on the web] is some holy muslim terrorist sect dealing in biological warfare. what else could something being called The Church Of Virus be about?

*choose again*
posted by elphTeq at 7:20 PM on November 3, 2001

If I become a minister can I stop paying taxes?
posted by HTuttle at 8:40 PM on November 3, 2001

*choose again*
Yup, Dan Simmons is *just* the guy I want to base my spiritual life around.
But seriously, the Church of Reality is a clumsy joke--maybe one step above the pseudo-religion my geek friends and me invented around the high school lunch table one day. It packs all the 'lonely geek' cliches into one page: 'people are sheep', 'honor the weird', LUNIX LUNIX LUNIX, magic marijuana... it's trying too hard to be funny, and it utterly fails. It doesn't challenge reality, it just points and goes 'HAW HAW ISN'T THAT SO DUMB'. And anyone can do that--just look at Gallagher. Someone form a church around him, fercrissake.
posted by darukaru at 9:44 PM on November 3, 2001

Remember Tim Leary's bud Richard Alpert, who became Baba Ram Dass? He was tripping (not sure if it was Sandoz or Owsley tabs) when he heard a voice telling him he had been chosen to found the world's next great religion.
"Why me?" he asked.
"Because you're so gullible."
If the Church of Reality founder can smoke pot and have a religious revelation...God knows what he might do on peyote or 'shrooms. (Sorry, I tend to scoff at all belief systems, not at the individual's own faiths.)
Wonder if Flip Wilson has copyrighted "The Church of What's Happening Now?"
posted by StOne at 10:02 PM on November 3, 2001

If I remember correctly the word "church" is our translation for a greek word that means "gathering"....so in that context nothing wrong with anybody here using the word.....

if you are going to invent your own religion yall shoud invent one that says"i will do what I want to do when i want to do it with no regard for a higher power..."
posted by bunnyfire at 3:32 AM on November 4, 2001

"Most of this planet are Hindus."

Erm?... NO.

Full of crap, just like all the other
religions.
posted by godidog at 5:48 AM on November 4, 2001

Man, it sounds like someone is still jealous about the whole Saran Wrap thing.
posted by darukaru at 6:36 AM on November 4, 2001

if you are going to invent your own religion yall shoud invent one that says"i will do what I want to do when i want to do it with no regard for a higher power..."

And that is different from other religions how? Pretty much everyone does what they want to do when they want to do it, most of the time -- it's just that religious people give credit to a higher power when their holy book happens to agree what they have already decided to do. (When it doesn't, they typically take steps to conceal their actions.)

Most people (religious or not) are hypocrites to some degree, generally unconsciously, simply because most people don't know themselves very well. Religion doesn't seem to change that very much, in my experience.
posted by kindall at 12:47 PM on November 4, 2001

"If it's real, we believe in it."

Isn't that the motto of all religions? The rub is in deciding what is real.
posted by straight at 12:41 PM on November 5, 2001